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If ever you're in m y arm s again... In a d d itio n t o fo u r p a g e s o f b e a u tifu l V a le n t in e m e s s a g e s , th e F e a tu re s s e c tio n is a ls o p r o v id in g a n a n tid o te to V a le n t in e s w e e tn e s s . W h a t d o y o u m ean w e a re c o ld , h e a r tle s s a n d u n r o m a n tic ? See pages 10-17
Inside This W eek News: Students' Council deliberated referendum questions which , if passed, could raise student fees. See page 3 Op/Ed: The commercial celebrators of Valentine's Day largely ignore the realities of falling in love in the 1990s. See editorial, page 6 Features: You’re in love. W ait- maybe you're not. No- now you're SURE you're not. What now? The Tribune tells all about unloading excess baggage. See pagelO Entertainm ent: Smelled like Spirit of the West - impish interview inside. See page 18 Sports: Both basketball teams go 1-1 over the weekend, and the Tribune tells a MartletRedman love story. See pages 24,26
What's On F acu lty o f L aw .
T u esd ay. F eb ru a ry 9 A m n e s ty In t e r n a t io n a l m eets ev ery T u esd a y at 6 :3 0 p m in S h a tn e r 4 3 5 . A ll w e lco m e . F o r in fo c a ll 3 9 8 -1 5 1 9 . L a t i n A m e r ic a n A w a re n e s s G r o u p
Thursday. February I I T h e Je w is h W o m e n ’s P r o je c t h osts A m a Poupko, a Je w is h ed u cato r, sp eaking
p resen ts “ N o ch e M e x ic a n a ” , an ev en in g o f m u sic , d a n cin g , and ty p ica l M e x ic a n food. 6 : 3 0 pm , S h a tn e r B 0 9 / 1 0 . A ll w elcom e. T h e Y e llo w D o o r C o f f e e H o u se p resen ts D a v e F is h e r with B e v e r le y Druzin. A d m issio n $ 2 .0 0 . 8 :0 0 pm , Y e llo w D oor,
m e e ts at 5 :0 0 p m , S h a tn e r 4 1 3 . A ll w e l com e. T h e H is to r y D e p a r tm e n t S p e a k e r s S e r i e s p re sen ts E lizab eth El bou rn e sp e ak
on F e m in ism and O rth od ox Ju d a ism . A ll w e lco m e. 8 :0 0 p m , H ille l H ou se ( 3 4 6 0 S ta n le y ). N D P M c G i l l m e e ts a t 4 : 0 0 p m ,
3 6 2 5 A y lm er. F o r in fo c a ll 3 9 8 - 6 2 4 3 . T h e M c G ill F ilm S o c ie ty presen ts a S k i N igh t D o u b le F eatu re in a so cia lio n with S .U .S .: “ S te e p e r and D eep e r” and “O n H er
in g on “ P ro te stan t T h e o rie s o f H isto ry and th e B ritis h C iv iliz in g M issio n .” 4 :0 0 pm ,
S h a tn e r 3 1 0 . T o p ic : F o reig n P o licy . T h e A n th ro p o lo g y S p e a k e r s S e r ie s
M a je s ty ’ s S e c r e t S e rv ic e .” 7 :0 0 p m , Sh atn er C a fe te ria . F o r in fo c a ll 3 9 8 - 6 8 2 5 .
T h o m so n H o u se, 3 6 5 0 M cT a v ish . T h e A r m e n ia n S t u d e n t s ’ A s s o c ia tio n and th e In d ia -C a n a d a S t u d e n ts ’ A s s o c ia tio n presen t Ix>relta T o p a lia n N a s s a r s p e a k in g on
p resen ts P ro fesso r A llan Y o u n g sp eaking on “ T a lk in g with A n ce sto rs: W .H .R . R iv
The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
dren and sen iors. Su nd ay. F e b ru a ry 14 T h e F a c u lty o f M u s ic presen ts M o m en ts M u sica u x at Red path , a ch a m b er m u sic re cita l. T ic k e ts $ 1 2 .0 0 / $ 8 .0 0 , a v a il a b le at P o lla ck B o x O ffic e . R eserv a tion s and in fo : 3 9 8 - 4 5 4 7 . 3 :0 0 pm , R edpath H all. M o n d a y . F e b r u a r y 15
tails on co n tests, etc. D ea d lin e: M arch 15. W o rk lik e a greased fish in th e w ater! S u b m issio n s are still bein g a cce p ted fo r M o n ta g e m ag azin e. B rin g any essa y s, interview s o r review s co n cern in g any a s p ect o f E n g lish (w ith y o u r n am e and ph one n u m b er) to the m a ilb o x in the Arts B ld g . P orter’ s O ffic e , o r to the D E S A o ffic e . C a ll fo r papers on th e M id d le E a st fo r the M c G ill J o u r n a l o f M id d le E a s t S t u d i e s . D e a d lin e :
F eb ru ary
15, M E S SA
S c r iv e n e r M a g a z in e reading series p resen ts readings by Linda L eith and G rant
m a ilb o x , L e a co ck 4 1 4 . T h e D e p a r tm e n t o f E n g lis h presents S h a k e s p e a re ’s “ T h e T e m p e st” , F e b 10-1
M c G ill
L o ew en . 8 :0 0 pm , T h o m so n H ou se, 3 6 5 0 M c T a v ish . Free.
and 1 7 -2 0 . 8 :0 0 , M o y se H all in the Arts B ld g . T ic k e ts $ 1 0 .0 0 / S 6 .0 0 students, a v a il
a
f o r th e E th ic a l T re a tm e n t o f
I n t e r n a t io n a l C o o p e ra tio n In fo D a y : L iteratu re and v id eos about student
a b le at S a d ie ’ s, P aragraphe, and at th e door. T u e s d a y N ig h t C a f e T h e a t r e
M u lticu ltu ral S o c ie ty .” R e cep tio n fo llo w in g . 7 :3 0 p m , L e a c o c k 2 3 2 .
Ani mal s presen ts a rock
opportunities fo r w ork with non-governm ent internation al program s. L atino fo o d s and m u sic, cra fts from around the world. 1 1 :0 0 a m - 3 :0 0 pm , S h a tn er 107/108. T h e B io c h e m is tr y D e p a r tm e n t p resen ts D a n ie lle M a lo and S ilv ia V idal sp eaking on “ Id en tifica tio n o f a C an didate
presen ts an ev en in g o f M o lie re : “ L ’A m ou r M e d e cin ” and “ L e M éd ecin M a ig re L u i”
“ C r e a tin g
an
I d e n t it y
in
S a t u r d a y . F e b r u a r y 13
b en efit fo r U r ban A n im a l A d v o c a te s . R ip c o r d z , T h e
W e d n e s d a y . F e b r u a r y 10 M c G ill Im p r o v perfo rm s in th e A lle y e v e ry W ed n e sd ay nig ht
C la s h
C ity
w ill b e perform ed in F ren ch from Feb. 1 0 -1 3 and 1 6 -2 0 . 8 :0 0 pm , M o rrice H all. T ic k e ts $ 6 .0 0 / $ 4 .0 0 students. R eserv a tion s and in fo : 3 9 8 - 6 6 0 0 . P erson s w ith d isa b ilities: O n g o in g
a t 7 : 3 0 pm .
R o c k e rs , Ellam
fo r th e H o st R e s is ta n c e G e n e B e g by
s u p p o rt g r o u p fo r M c G ill students, fa cu lty
I n t e r - f a i t h D ia lo g u e : stu dent discussion on “V ie w s o f G o d ." 1 2 :3 0 - 1 :3 0 p m , B irk s B ld g . ( 3 5 2 0 U n iv ersity ), D rop-In C en tre, R o o m
fo r Z oe, L a v em e, Les Stu p s, and Lord Q u a g m ire w ill b e perform in g. T ic k e ts $ 6 .0 0 at
P o s it io n a l C l o n i n g . ” 1 2 : 3 0 - 1 : 3 0 p m , M cIn ty re M ed . R m . 9 0 3 . T h e F a c u l t y o f M u s i c p re s e n ts T w o -p ia n o and c h a m b e r m u sic en sem b les.
and sta ff. C a ll P eter o r D onn a at 3 9 8 -3 6 0 1 o r 3 9 8 - 6 0 0 9 fo r m o re in form ation . E le c tio n s M t G il l is now a ccep tin g ap p licatio n s fo r p oll cle rk p osition s in the
8 :0 0 pm , P o lla ck H all, 5 5 5 S h e rb ro o k e S t. W . F ree. F o r in fo ca ll 3 9 8 - 4 5 4 7 .
u p com in g referend um and g e n e ra l-e le c tio n s, M a rch 9 , 1 0 , & 11. A p p licatio n form s
S a d ie ’ s (s tu d e n ts o n ly ) ,
T h e F a c u lty o f M u s ic presen ts N igel S m ith and E u g en ie N gai. 8 :0 0 pm , Redpath
a v a ila b le at the k io sk o r the S S M U front
$ 7 . 0 0 a t th e door. 8 :0 0 pm ,
H all. F ree. F o r in fo c a ll 3 9 8 - 4 5 4 7 . T h e J a m e s B a y C o a litio n m eets every
S h a tn e r B a ll room . F o r in fo c a ll 3 4 5 - 5 6 7 9 . M c G ill Im p r o v h old s free w orkshops
M o n d ay at 4 :3 0 pm in S h a tn er 4 3 5 . F o r in fo c a ll 4 9 5 - 1 4 8 2 . T h e F o lk M u s ic S o c ie ty m eets ev ery M on d ay at 8 :3 0 pm in the Y e llo w D oor
ev ery Satu rd ay from 1 1 :0 0 a m -1 :0 0 pm in the S h a tn e r B u ild in g . S e e signs in lo b b y for
b a s e m e n t. C o m e c h e c k it o u t o r c a ll S tep h a n ie at 8 4 5 -7 6 0 1 fo r m ore info.
1 0 4 . E v ery o n e w e lco m e . F o r in fo c a ll 3 9 8 -4 1 0 4 . T h e D e p a r tm e n t o f E n g lis h S t u d e n t s ’ A s s o c ia tio n p resen ts B r e n t B a m b u ry , h o st o f C B C R a d io ’ s B r a v e N ew W a v e s, speaking o n “ H um an T a c o s , S a b o ta g e , and M a in stre a m ” . 4 :0 0 pm , L e a co ck 26. T h e M c G i l l M e d ic a l F r a t e r n i t y
ers and Iro n y ." 4 :0 0 - 6 :0 0 pm , L e a c o c k 7 3 8 .
m e e ts at 2 :0 0 pm in S h a tn e r 3 0 2 . A ll re
A s part o f th e C B C - M c G i l l R a d io
m a in in g a c tiv itie s fo r th e y e a r w ill b e d is
C o n c e r t S e r i e s , th e F a c u lty o f M u s ic
cu sse d . N ew m em b ers and all cu rio u s in d i v id uals w e lco m e. T h e F a c u lty o f L a w p re se n ts the R ig h t H o n o u ra ble A n to n io L am er, C h ie f Ju s tic e o f th e S u p rem e C o u rt o f C an ad a, as the g u e s t s p e a k e r in th is y e a r ’ s M c G ill/
p resen ts L o u is-P h ilip p e P e lle tie r (p ian o ). 7 :3 0 p m , P o lla ck H all, 5 5 5 S h e rb ro o k e S t. W . F re e . F o r in fo c a ll 3 9 8 - 4 5 4 7 .
In te r A m ic u s H u m an R ig h ts F o ru m . 1 2 :3 0 - 1 :4 5 pm , M o o t C o u rt R o o m o f the
F r id a y . F e b r u a r y 12 T h e S p a n is h a n d L a t i n a m e r i c a n S t u d e n t s ’ A s s o c ia tio n
( S .A .L .S .A .)
room num ber. T h e F a c u lt y o f M u s ic presen ts stu dent and g raduate so lo ists. 2 : 0 0 - 4 :0 0 pm . P o lla ck H all, 5 5 5 S h erb ro o k e S t. W . F or in fo c a ll 3 9 8 - 4 5 4 7 . T h e M c G ill F ilm S o c ie ty presents “ T h e P rin ce ss B rid e .” 7 : 3 0 pm , F D A Aud. $ 3 .5 0 n o n -m e m b e rs, $ 1 .0 0 m em b ers, c h il
• C hoose
T T H H E E
P PO O \W E R
A ID S ? P lea se d o n ’t fe el you are alone. A ID S C o m m u n ity C a r e M o n tr e a l o ffers th e fo llo w in g support groups: H IV + M e n ’ s G roup; H IV + H eterosexu al M e n ’ s G roup; H IV + W o m e n ’ s G r o u p ; B e r e a v e m e n t G roup; F a m ily , Friend s and Partners G roup; C h ild r e n ’ s P la y T h e ra p y G ro u p . C a ll
C o n stru ctio n tim e a g a in ... T h e R ed H e r r in g is q u ite ready to snap up your fu n n y m aterial and co n test en tries in its
9 3 9 - 0 0 7 5 . A ll ca lls co n fid en tia l. M c G i l l - Q u é b e c la n c e so n 2 e m c C o n co u rs L ittéraire. P rix a g a g n e r dans 2 c a t é g o r i e s : N o u v e lle e t P o é s i e . D a te d ’é c h é a n c e : 1er M a rs. Pour fo rm a lité s, c o n ta cte r L a u ren ce au 7 3 3 - 7 3 2 8 ou Y a n ic k
ro o m y m a ilb o x b y the S S M U d esk , o r in the
au 7 4 4 - 4 4 8 0 .
O n g o in g ...
o f f ic e , S h a tn e r 4 0 6 . C a ll 3 9 8 - 6 8 1 6 fo r d e
SSM U A LCO H O L A W A REN ESS W EEK YO U H a v e T h e P o w er T o
desk in the S h a tn er buildin g. D o you o r so m eo n e you kn ow h av e
O F
Feb. 8 - 1 2
P O S IT IV E
C H O I C E S
i f iv h e n . a n d h o ir m u ch g o u
• C h o o s e n o t t o d r i n k w it h o u t f e e l i n g p r e s s u r e • C h o o s e t o s t a g o u t o j d a n g e r o u s s i t u a t i o n s in v o lv in g a l c o h o l , w h e t h e r in a c a r . a b a r . o r a b e d r o o m • C h o o s e t o t e ll a f r i e n d o r l o v e d o n e h o w g o u J o e l a b o u t h e r o r h is d r in k in g , a n d e n c o u r a g e p e o p l e c l o s e to g o u to t a k e c a r e o f th e m s e lv e s • C h o o s e to m a n a g e g o u r tim e a n d p r io r it ie s , b a la n c in g s lu d g in g a n d s o c ia liz in g • C h o o s e p o s it i v e r e l a t io n s h ip s w ith d i v e r s e p e o p l e w h o r e s p e c t a n d su p p o rt th e d e c is io n s g ou m a k e C H O O SE ! Y ou
h a v e
th e P O W E R .
D o n o t g iv e it a w a y !
Wednesday - Sex and Alcohol Campaign Monday - Alcohol Awareness Campaign begins - Wrecked Car Contest continues ... All week Wrecked Car besides Shatner Building - Guess how - Pledge for life campaign continues in the Shatner {Ç h manycrushed cans are in the car and win a prize! Bldg. Thursday - Women and Alcohol Campaign •9 - Condoms handed out Ballots in the Shatner Building. Draw will take place on 11:30am WATCH - © MacDonald Harrington Bldg. 12:00pm BreathaHzer demonstration in Gert’s- local police Friday in Shatner Building © 12:00 pm. show how to operate and discuss legalities behind 5:00pm FREE Movie in Gert's - Héros featuring Dustin -Pledge for Life Campaign in Shatner Building Hoffman, Geena Davis, Andy Garcia, Chevy Chase when a breathalizer test may be administered. 7:00pm Leacock 26 Forum: Part I Discussion with Recovering and John Cusack. Fundraiser for BACCHUS Canada! Alcoholics, their family and friends. Representatives $1 donation at the door. Tuesdav - Drinking and Driving Campaign from Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon. 5:00pm FREE Movie in Gert's - At the Wheel: Under the Forum: Part II - Let’s talk about booze. Alcohol and the Media Co-sponsored by the Debating Union. Influence - Fundraiser for BACCHUS Canada! $1 Friday - Draw Prizes © 12:00 om in front of Gert’s 7:00pm Sexual Assualt Centre - Outreach @ Kappa Alpha donation at the door. Theta and Delta Upsilon
Page 3
The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
n e w s S S M U Council passionate about referendum questions will remind Students’ Society ten years from now that this 50 cents is supposedto go toclubs?” Engineering Rep Leslie A proposed referendum question that would have granted Parchomchuk agreed, and felt interest groups an extra $ 15,000 the fee increase for interest a year was rejected by council groups would restrict flexibility lors at last Thursday’s Students’ in future SSMU club and inter Society (SSMU) Council meet est group budgets. “I don’t believe this ques ing. The rejected SSMU inter tion should be going to referen est group question, which would dum,” said Parchomchuk. “By have asked students for an extra levying this 50 cent fee, those one dollar per year, was sepa interest groups will definitely rated from a question on the have this money, but not other McGill Debt Repayment Plan, [SSMU clubsl. This question is although both are SSMU fee absurd.” Clubs Rep. Patrick increases. The purpose of sepa rating these questions was to Perreault, who urged council give voters information on lors to pass the interest group where their money would be question for referendum, criti going, instead of asking for a cized current SSMU budgeting procedures. flat increase in student fees. “Yes, SSMU has beenvery But several councillors were not confident with the plan kind with theirclubs ’’conceded to increase interest groups and Perreault “But if you go to any club funding through referen other university, they fund on a dum, instead believing the onus project-by-project basis.” The failed motion effec should be on SSMU to reprioritize its budget, rather tively eliminated the possibility than ask for an increase from its that clubs would be guaranteed a healthy budget next year. This students. “I think it is a democratic is due to a December Policy way to make budget decisions,” Review Committee decision to stated Law Rep. Christoph make all groups— including the Sicking at the meeting. “But 1 previously excluded political don’t like the idea of Students’ and religious groups— eligible Society getting a lot of its fund for SSMU funding. As a result, ing attached to conditions. Who SSMU may have to fund as many B Y J A N E W H IT E A N D R IC H L A T O U R
as !5 extra groups beginning next year. Perreault was left dis mayed by the rejection of the motion. “I’m extremely disap pointed,”Perreault toldthe Trib une, “ll would have been a good investment. Clubs are the most important way to get in touch with the students.” Although the Interest Group funding question will not make it to referendum, council lors did approve three questions to go to referendumnext month. Two of the questions ask stu dents to support fee increases totalling six dollars per year, per student, for the Walk-Safe Net work (WSN) and the SSMU Debt Repayment Plan. A ques tion to remove International Students from the SSMU Acci dent and Health Insurance Plan will also be on next month’s ballot. The motion for the SSMU Debt Repayment Plan question passed by only a slim margin. The question will ask students if they support increasingtheirfees by $5.00 per year, per student, to assist SSMU in paying back a $618,000 debt to McGill. Yet several councillors are skeptical that students will vote ‘yes’. “I believe that [VP Fi nance] Susan Nickerson andthe
executive have determined re sponsibly that there has to be an increase,” stated Architecture Rep. Greg Schron. “But students are concerned about their indi vidual budgets and if you put ‘Do you want to increase stu dent fees’ [on the ballot] I don’t think very many students will vote for that.” Arts Rep. Mark Luz also believed that, as it stands, the question will not pass. “If we were to phrase the referendumquestion to the typi cal student that we were paying $2.50 [a semester] extra to make up for the stupidity [of council] from previous years, that ques tion I don’t think would pass. If we believe it is necessary to eliminate the deficit - it should be publicized in that way,” Luz explained. The first motion brought to council concerned WSN’s ref erendumquestion which will ask students for a dollar per year per student. Following a lengthy debate, councillors passed the motion, ensuring Walk-Safe’s question space on the referen dum ballot. If students vote yes, the fee increase will give WSN financial autonomy from the SSMU, much like Q-PIRG and the Daily. “Walk-Safe needs ap proximately $15,000 a year to
stay afloat,” explained WSN coordinator Paul Johnson. “We’re asking for this as a separate question [from SSMU fee increases] because Walk Safe can’t be dependent on the yearly [budget] decisions of dif ferent councils.” Sicking was concerned aboutdefiningWSN’s status and about the precident this ques tion could set. “What about other func tional groups? Each time these groups experience financial dif ficulties, do we go to referen dum?” he demanded.“I feel categorically that this question shouldnot go to referendumuntil we’ve dealt with some things here. Right nowwe’re confused. Is WSN a service for SSMU or something else?” The final question which will go to referendum will ask students to exempt international students from the SSMU Acci dent and Health Insurance Plan. The question was amended by council to ensure Canadian students understand that inter national students are already covered by a mandatory McGill Blue Cross Plan. By being auto matically enrolled in the SSMU insurance plan, international students are covered twice, and must go through the opt-out process yearly.
P r in c e b a s h e d b y c o u n c il a n d e x e c u tiv e o v e r V P E q u ity r e fe r e n d u m B Y C H R IS A L A M Students’ Society (SSMU) President Jason Prince was soundly defeated at last Thurs day’s council meeting by SSMU council and his fellow execu tives in an attempt to submit a referendum question. If passed by the student body, the refer endum would create a new ‘vice president equity’ position. Prince hoped to create the position in order to ensure that an individual who would study and aid under-represented groups on campus would exist within SSMU. The idea was drawn from the proposals of the general assembly workshops, held last term. But council re fused the referendum question by a vote of 15-1, with only Prince voting in favour. There were also four abstentions. “Why don’t we have a full time member of our student body working onequity?” asked Prince during the meeting. “What we are asking here is to
hold a referendum to consult the student body through the most democratic mechanism we have...I think it is only fairto the students to give them the oppor tunity to vote on this.” Prince also cited article 2.4 ofthe SSMU constitution, which adresses equity issues, to show that the creation of a VP equity would fullfil one of the soci ety’s purposes. Despite Prince’s argu ments, council balked at his sug gestions, partly because the president was unable to present ajob description of the new po sition. “We do not have a job description yet,” admitted Prince, “But I think we under stand what is being asked...To have a VP equity is a clear dem onstration that this is a priority for the society.” Prince was also chal lenged from the gallery by McGill stu dent David Rovins, who at tended the proceedings. “With adeficitof$618,000
how could you [council] even considercreating anotherexecu tive position?” asked Rovins. “There is the option of re ducing executive salaries to $8,000 [from $10,000-to pro vide a salary for the new posi tion] but ultimately it will be decided by the students,” re sponded Prince. But Prince’s suggestion was met with derision by mem bers of his executive. “I think he [Prince] is dreaming,” VP University Affairs Monique Shebbeare later told the Tribune. “Because there are people who could not afford to get by ifthe salary was reduced by $2,000.” Prince spiritedly defended his position, explaining that a salary of $8,000 a year, or $666 per month, was more than suffi cient. “That is ridiculous,” he said of Shebbeare’s statement. “$8,000 is a living wage for a single person...That’s more than a welfare recipient gets.”
Prince noted that execu tives rarelyhold full course loads and thus need less money for tuition. Shebbeare suggested that a non-executive full time port folio might be an alternative to Prince’s plan for addressing eq uity issues. As SSMU is cur rently studying restructuring, including its funding priorities, Shebbeare also felt that creating a new VP position might be pre mature. “Until you look system atically at the whole executive, you can not just look at the VP equity in isolation...It would be foolish to introduce anything new until we understood what place it would have in SSMU financially and politically,” she said. VP Finance Susan Nickerson also rejected Prince’s ideas, although both she and Shebbeare support a greater emphasis onequity issues within SSMU. “We have got enough peo
ple to do the jobs,” she empha sized. “Perhaps Mr. Prince should incorporate equity issues into his immediateportfolios and bridge the gap in our society.” But Prince rejected Nickerson’s evaluation of the situation. “She is missing the point, I think,” he said. “The question was not whether the position should be taken on by someone in the executive.” Nickerson later admitted that Prince has been working on equity issues throughout the year. Prince was upset with the stance ofcouncil andexecutives. “I’m very disappointed that council was not swayed,” he stated, noting that the idea for the position came from students in the general assembly work shops and should have been re turned to students for a final decision. “Council really should not have had much to say about it.”
Hews
P age 4
The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
S t u d e n t s p la n h u n g e r s t r ik e to p ro te st d e p o rta tio n s BY SANCHARI CHAKRAVARTY McGill’s Palestine Soli darity Committee (PSC) plans to hold a three-day hun ger strike in the Shatner Uni versity Centre this week to protest the expulsion of 415 Palestinians from the West Bank Gaza Strip into a zone between Lebanon ’ s southern border and Israel. Optimistic that the strike could help bring about the immediate and safe return of the remaining deportees, PSC President Youssef Arafat out lined the objectives of the hunger strike. “It is high time that an enforcement of international law and universally recog nized human rights required the political will to bring con crete international pressure
to bear on the ascending party [of] Israel,” he explained. Arafat claimed the de portation of the Palestinians has left people homeless, and violates the fourth Geneva Convention ’s Article 49. The article states:“Individual or mass forcible transfers, as well as deportations of pro tected persons from the oc cupied to the territory of oc cupying power or any other country occupied or not, are prohibited, regardless of their motive.” He expressed hope that the strike would raise aware ness within the McGill com munity about the plight of the Palestinians. “The PSC’s objective is to better acquaint the McGill community with the con tinuing plight of the Palestin ian people in the occupied
territories in the West Bank and Gaza Strip...” he ex plained. “These deportees are not fanatic, or out to kill Jews. They are people who have been sent outside their homes without due process.” He indicated the strike is open to anyone who wishes to participate. “The strike is open to everyone who is sym pathetic and shares our con cern,” he said. Scheduled to takeplace from Tuesday through Thurs day, the strike will conclude with the issuance of a state ment of PSC’s goals and de mands. Arafat claimed the PSC has been endorsed by the Students’ Society (SSMU) and enjoys the support of a number of student societies on campus, including the Arab Students’ Organization,
Black Students ’ Network, Pakistani Students’ Society, South Africa Committee, and India-Canada Students’ So ciety. But SSMU VP Internal Julie Dzerowicz indicated that PSC’s appeal for sup port needs to be referred to students’ council for delib eration. “We [SSMU] are not taking an official stance,” she told the Tribune. Explaining his reasons for participating in the strike, SSMU President Jason Prince argued the Palestinians had been treated unfairly. “I deplore the violation of basic human rights,” he stated. “The Palestinians that have been deported have got to be given due process.” Arafat anticipated some opposition to the strike but
expressed optimism that the event will be successful. “Past experience has shown us that there are a number of stu dents on campus who will try to hijack the whole event,” he said. “We will be taking every consideration, but we will make sure it goes through smoothly.” Prince was confident the event would generate a posi tive reaction among students. “I should hope that eve ryone recognizes that basic human rights have been vio lated, and in any universe this isjust wrong,” he stated. “We are talking about violating the basic principles of our society. In this case, the state of Israel has done grievious error in deporting Palestin ians, and people have got to recognize this is wrong.”
O c to b e r co n fe re n ce w ill a d d re s s c a m p u s sa fe ty B Y B E N O IT JA C Q M O TTE McGill Sexual Assault Centre staff members are or ganizing a conference which will address campus safety and other related issues. Scheduled for October 7-10, the Canadian Campus Safety
Conference (CCSC) will bring Canadian student rep resentatives to McGill in or der to share information on sexual assault, sexual and racial harassment, walkhome programs, and other ar eas affecting campus life. CCSC co-coordinator Ruth Promislow explained
the conference’s role in pro moting safety issues. “The objective of the conference is to bring stu dents from across Canada to participate in seminars geared towards implementing and improving campus safety programs,” she stated. Promislow indicated
that information exchanged at the conference would be compiled and distributed to each participant. “Our objective is to pro duce manuals which each del egate will bring back to their university and will give a foundation with which they can implement these pro-
grams,” Promislow stated. Promislow and co-coordinator Karen Sloat re quested project proposals from McGill student groups concerned with safety issues. Proposals were received from the Black Students’ Network (BSN); the Women’s Union; Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Gays of McGill (LBGM); Walk-Safe Network; the Anti-Racism Working S E E CAM PUS SA FE TY , PAGE 8
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The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
P age’5-
S e n a t e a t t e m p t s to a d d r e s s lib r a r y s t a t u s the same period funding for McGill’s libraries has de creased by 4.7 per cent. In light of a 9.8 per cent increase After the presentation of in enrolment, the cuts go a report on the current status deeper than the numbers of McGill’s libraries, Senate would suggest. The cuts do agreed at last Wednesday’s not take into account the rise meeting that the libraries— in the overall budget, and with underfunded for at least a higher enrolment more stu decade— deserve greater dents must use the affected library facilities. budgeting priority. “It is surely clear that The report’s proposal, which called for McGill to over the last ten years the increase its libraries funding library has declined... [the li to ten per cent of its total brary] has not had the priority budget over the next ten years, in the budget, in the last ten was amended by senators who years, that a first class uni wished to create a more flex versity library should have,” ible and realistic budgeting argued history professor plan to address library needs. Robert Vogel to Senate. Director of Libraries The discussion of cur rent library status was Eric Ormsby explained that prompted by a report from McGill’s library funding did the Senate Committee on Li not appear adequate when braries, which suggested that compared with other leading in proportion to McGill ’ s size North American university and budget, the library sys budgets. “The relative proportion tem has received inadequate funding between 1986 and of McGill’s budget that goes 1992. The report concluded to the library is woefully small the amount McGill currently compared to other universi spends on its libraries is not ties in the U.S. and Canada,” conducive to the university’s he stated. Despite agreement that high research profile. “The decrease of fund libraries have declined, sev ing to libraries appears scan eral senators proposed what dalous, particularly so con they deemed a more reason sidering that the increased able and flexible funding goal enrolment affects libraries as instead of the ten per cent well as faculties,” the report proposal, to re-establish li brary quality. stated. “The target for library According to the report, university faculty budgets funding... should move to have increased by an average wards an amount equivalent 7.1 per cent since 1986, yet in to the amount spent by the B Y S T E V E S M IT H AND M ATTHEW S IN G E R
L i b r a r y d r a m a a t M c G ill.
best university in Canada,” law professor Jeremy Webber told Senate. Students’ Society VP University Affairs Monique Shebbeare also argued that the resolution should address McGill’s library situation in relation to other universities’ library funding. “A comparative per spective fills out the picture. We have to look at what’s happening comparatively in order to put things in context, and see where McGill is go ing wrong,” Shebbeare told the Tribune. Some senators found Webber ’s wording restrictive and argued that McGill should not be forced to spend more in proportional terms than
other Canadian universities. These senators explained that lower-level institutions might spend a high proportion of their budgets on low quality libraries, which did not re flect what a top institution might necessarily have to spend to provide quality li brary services. Senate finally passed an amended resolution which emphasized the libraries’ currently inadequate budget, and vowed that the library budget would receive “very high priority.” However, the resolution failed to specify either spe cific spending levels or budgeting areas facing possi ble reductions in order to pro vide extra library funding.
R ESTA
Senators also debated other issues affecting the li braries, including “unofficial libraries” housing journals and volumes necessary for specialized research, and the costs of subscribing to large numbers of journals with limited readership. Many expressed the sentiment that Senate was filled with good intentions but that few were willing to make concrete sacrifices. Economics professor Myron Frankman, who voted against the resolution, ex plained his view of the situa tion: “If people don’t give up their prerogatives...we’re be ing robbed of a first class library... It’s essentially self ish.”
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The McGill Tribune, Februâry 9-15,1993
O p /E d E d it o r ia l Glance through the centre spread of this issue of the Tribune and you will see thousands of words... expressions of love, affec tion, friendship, curiosity and plain old lust from men and women, for other men and women. Valentine’s Day, our annual celebration of love, is right around the comer. Tacky chocolate boxes, red roses and mushy cards abound. Local bars and restaurants are gearing up for what is traditionally one of the busiest days of the year. Victoire Delage, a chain of women’s lingerie stores, reports a run this year on silk one-piece teddies; the colour this year is stark white, followed by peach, red, and the purist’s choice, black. Birks, Canada’s traditional diamond and bauble emporium, was saved for the season by the fortuitious and plentiful lira of an Italian company.
M c G ill
S in g in g a stre e t-so n g se re n a d e But how exactly does this commercial love-in pertain to the social and emotional realities of our community? Put another way; why do all those heart-tugging Valen tine’s Day ads push the “tell her you’d marry her all over again” party line, complete with sepia-toned images of the younger heterosexual couple bounding through poppy fields in the requisite white chiffon dresses and flowing shirts, and continue to ignore the true makeup of the late 20th century “family”? The reality of life in this perilous period is that despite alarming statistics on AIDS, the decline of traditional (and now largely-obsolete) family values, the dangers of sexual assault and date rape, and the harsh economic assault on the lower and middle classes, men and women are falling in love every day. Falling liltingly, helplessly, vulnerably, head-over-heelingly in love with other men and women, in
every possible combination and permutation of sexual orientation, age, race and culture. Valentine’s Day images and messages should corre spondingly reflect this reality. I’m no fan of daytime soaps; but it’s a telling comment on our situation when AIDS victims and interracial couples are treated with more compas sion, generosity and genuine empathy by soap writers than by the “reality-based” chat-shows and news analysis programs which purport to “tell it like it is”. What lesbian, gay, hetero sexual, interracial, interde nominational, married, unmar ried and May-December couples have in common is the desire to open themselves emotionally to their partner. Love forces us to be alive, alert, aware of the other, aware also of the incredible emotional risk we take in making ourselves vulnerable to another human being. The
pay-off is emotional fulfillment, a sense of bonding, acceptance and belongingness with another that is the apex of human feeling. Media and business have no right to tell us that if we do not conform to some obsolete notion of human couple-dom, we do not exist. The young white heterosexist middle-class slant of Valentine’s Day commercialism is no celebration of love; merely a celebration of the al mighty buck and a denun ciation, albeit subtle, of “otherness”. Do not let anyone tell you, indirectly or not, that your love is invalid, unrec ognized, incorrect. Con tinue to love, gloriously and publicly. This Valen tine’s Day, celebrate true love in all its forms.
Tribune C ir c u la tio n : 1 3 0 0 0 E d ito r -In -C h ie f R ic h L a to u r A s s is t a n t E d i t o r s - I n - C h i e f C h ris A la m M a d y V irg o n a N ew s E d ito r s B e n o it Ja c q m o tte Ja n e W h ite F e a t u r e s E d ito r s M a x D odd K a tie R o b s o n E n t e r t a in m e n t E d i t o r K a te G ib b s S p o r t s E d ito r A lis o n K o m N e tw o r k E d i t o r A le x U s h e r P h o to E d ito r s E r ic B o e h m A k o s H o ffe r P ro d u c tio n / L a y o u t M a n a g e r s A u b re y K a s s ir e r D o ris L e e P r o d u c t io n A s s is ta n ts Jo A n n C h a n d a -S u lliv a n , B r e n d a C h o w ,
MADY VIRGONA
B a r b a r a E r d e ly i, K o to F u ru e , Je n n ife r M c C o r m ic k , Q u y h n T a n , Jo n a th a n W a s s e r m a n , T if fa n y W e lc h . P u b l ic a t io n s M a n a g e r
P o st p a tte rn s There are certain famil iar patterns by which we order our existence. Every so often, however, some thing occurs which disrupts these necessary, nay, vital routines, and calls into question not only the meaninglessness of mean ing but the meaning of meaninglessness. Take, for example, the googol. Numerical sequence would seem a safe, predict able discipline ruled by comprehensible and reas suring patterns. One, fol lowed by two, followed by three. This is the type of unchanging tenet on which we can stake our faith. Then along comes the googol: One, followed by one hundred zeroes. The ques tion arises: why googol? Everything was going so well: hundred, thousand, hundred thousand (so far, so good). Million, billion, trillion (ah, the dependable, majestic illions). Zillion, the school-yard favourite kajillion, and then... googol.
Not to be outdone is the googolplex, which is not some sort of Ghermezian nightmare, but 1 followed by a googol zeroes. The word on Physics Street is that googol was named by some scientists toddler. While chillingly arbitrary, this process would explain the names of other indeterminably large numbers like ga-ga and ta-ta, as well as the artistic movement, da-da. Thankfully, there are still certain recurring patterns which can be counted on; for example, the numbly boring, hype-failing Super Bowl blowout. This year, the most interesting part of the Super Bowl was the Michael Jackson half-time extrava ganza. We've gone in a few short seasons from 'Up With People' to 'Up With Michael ! The several minutes that the self-coronated King of Pop spent posing stiffly before the performance began led some of the crowd to cheer what they thought was the real Jackson, while others won
GROUND ZER0 BY ADAM STERNBERGH
dered if this was a Tussaudian wax replacement. Ironically, both contingents were correct. My question is: where is the 'Michael is Dead' move ment? Think about it. Beatles fans-cum-conspiracy theorists were pointing to the cover of Abbey Road and declaring "Look! Paul has BARE feet!" That proves it! This person passing himself off as Jackson not only doesn't look like his former self, he doesn't look like a member of the human race. Personally, I think the real Michael died in the Pepsi commercial Jherri Curl fire. Following the Super Bowl was Barry'still matching DePalma flop-for-flop” Levinson’s new TV show, HOMICIDE: Life on the Streets. Apparently, in this
age of I-Witness Video, when anyone can achieve their fifteen seconds of fame by videotaping personal trag edies for the edification of voyeurs everywhere, gritti
ness has replaced plot. I used to dream that one day they would make a movie of my life—now I just hope for a dramatized re-enactment, with actors as my neigh bours. One wonders how Levinson pitched this new idea to NBC: "Alright, picture this—its a COP show. A bunch of world-weary, wise-cracking cops thwarting bumbling criminals. I think the public is finally ready for it." Of course, once upon a time some network execu tive gave the go-ahead to Hogans Heroes ("Alright, picture this—its a CON CENTRATION CAMP. A bunch of world-weary, wise-cracking POWs thwarting bumbling Nazis. I think the public's finally ready for it.") So nothing should come as a surprise, except maybe an a.k.a. Pablo Christmas reunion special ("I think the public's finally ready for it.") And the odds of Paul Rodriguez, star of last year's Super Bowl follow-up series {a.k.a. Failure) reviving his career are about one in a googol.
H e le n e M a y e r T y p e s e tte rs A d ria n H arew o o d C o lin L y n c h W h a t 's O n C o o r d i n a t o r Je n n if e r R a ls to n C o v e r P h o to J e f f C o rm ie r S ta ff C r a ig B e m e s , Je n n B r a d le y , K a th e rin e B r o w n , A n g e la C a m p b e ll, S a n c h a ri C h a k ra v a rty , D e b b ie C h o w , J e f f C o rm ie r, S a ra h D a lle , D e re k D e s ja r d in s , C h e ry l D e v o e , G le n d a K o h , C a trin M o rr is , A n d rew O 'D o n n e ll, K a trin a O n sta d , R a m R a n d h a w a , M a rie F.
R a p o p o rt, J e f f S ilv e r s to n e , M a tth e w
S in g e r , S te v e S m ith , A d a m S te m b e r g h , J a c k S u lliv a n . M ik a B a r e k e t, S te v e M o ffitt
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Ii6 W S
C a m p u s sa fe ty Benjamin expressed her sup port for the conference and Group; and Shakti, the defined her organization’s Womenist Collective. role at the event. Invitations and proposal “We want to talk about requests to groups from other what it means to be a woman universities are being sentout of white skin privilege, the this week.While a tentative choices we have that women budget has been completed, of colour do not,” she said. Promislow indicated that LBGM co-coordinator campus undergraduate asso Rachel Rose and Shakti mem ciations and the university ber Rima Banerji emphasized administration will be ap that the conference would al proached for financial sup low the link between all forms port. of oppression to be addressed. Walk-Safe coordinator “The best part will be Fiona Deller explained the bringing people together so conference would provide no one is working alone,” different Canadian walk- Rose added. C o n fe r e n c e c o -c o o r d in a t o r s K u t h P r o m is lo w a n d K a r e n S lo a t w ill h e lp a d d re s s home groups with a forum to Nityanand Deckha, co c a m p u s s a fe ty is s u e s . discuss common issues and coordinator of the Anti-Rac ment,” he stated. with similar situations, [who awareness of the issues ad to exchange information. ism Working Group, ex BSN racial issues chair have encountered] unre dressed at the conference, “Each program I know plained the issues his group Kiké Roach viewed the con sponsive administrative peo Promislow argued that the of is an individual model planned to address at the con ference as an opportunity for ple,” she said. role students play in address based on its school’s needs ference. Rather than invite a ing these issues was of pri student groups to address and its funding resources,” “We want to work with critical issues which admin speaker to address student mary importance. she said. “We all have some a variety of groups to discuss istrations have often failed to delegates, Roach explained “I strongly believe all thing to learn and something how supposed racial differ adequately deal with in the BSN will hold a workshop those services should be stu to bring.” ences are interconnected with past. which will produce more dent-initiated and studentWomen’sUnion project safety issues and how they “Possibly we can meet pragmatic results, allowing employed,” she said. “The coordinator Cynthia complicate cases of harass up with people who have dealt delegates to exchange infor objective [of the conference] mation and ideas in a more is not to put pressure on uni A ll n e w s w r i t e r s - Y o u m a k e o u r h e a r t s b e a t , o u r s e c t i o n s f u l l a n d informal manner. versity administrations. Stu While noting adminis dent-run services make o u r F r id a y n ig h ts ( r e la t iv e ly ) s h o r t . L o v e B e n a n d J a n e . trations could gain greater C O N T IN U E D F R O M P A G E 4
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M e m b e r s o f th e U n iv e r s ity c o m m u n ity a r e u rg e d to s u b m i R h e i r w r itte n c o m m e n ts e ith e r to th e C h a ir o f th e c o m m itte e , P r o fe s s o r R o d M a c d o n a ld , F a c u lty o f L a w , 3 6 4 4 P e e l S t r e e t, o r to th e S e c r e ta r y , M s. V ic to ria L e e s , S e c r e t a r ia t, R o o m 6 0 8 , Ja m e s A d m in is tr a tio n B u ild in g . T h e R e v ie w C o m m itte e w ill b e c o n d u c t in g e x te n s iv e in t e r v ie w s in a n a tte m p t to g a th e r in fo r m a tio n . If y o u w o u ld lik e to m e e t w ith th e c o m m it t e e , p le a s e c o n t a c t L ilia n Ia c o b o , U n iv e r s ity S e c r e t a r ia t, a t 3 9 8 -3 9 4 8 .
The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
S a d i e ’s : S S M U BY JO N A TH A N W ASSERM AN AND RAM RANDHAW A A recent audit of Stu dents’ Society (SSMU) fi nances for its last fiscal year has prompted the society to re-evaluate its relationship with Sadie’s Tabagie. The au dit, which exposed a $ 13,500 deficit for the society, rein forced the immediate need for a financial turnaround to ensure SSMU’s viability. Sadie’s has consistently lost money over the last sev eral years, draining funds from SSMU’s budget. When asked to justify these losses, Sadie’s Manager Robert Werbin explained that al though he did not wish Sadie’s to be a burden on the budget, the tabagie’s man date is to provide service to McGill students rather than to be a source of profit for SSMU. “The bottom line is we’re here for the students, we’re not here for the prof its,” he said. While agreeing with Werbin’s concept of a serv ice-oriented Sadie’s, SSMU VP Finance Susan Nickerson explained that no consensus presently exists within SSMU as to whether Sadie’s role should be to provide service or to generate profit. “Sadie’s is something that ’ s never been worked into a long-term business plan,” she explained. But Nickerson did con firm the recent SSMU audit has put pressure on the Soci ety to make money.
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p r o f it o r s t u d e n t s e r v ic e ?
mittee (FMC), which will is currently right on the pro “We are in a situation vide,” he stated. Brisebois and then forward the proposal to jected budget for this year. now where we have to make a profit, even more than we Nickerson are currently re the SSMU executive and fi He expects the tabagie to break even at year’s end, did before. So I think that, if viewing Werbin’s proposal nally to council. As for the near future, whether or not the proposal it is possible, we need to make and will submit it to the Fi Sadie’s aprofitfablej organi nancial Management Com Werbin stressed that Sadie’s to increase prices is approved. zation,” she emphasized. Over the past two years, Sadie’s has lost $35,000 and $ 16,000respectively. Werbin attributed these losses to the fact that, despite rising whole sale costs, Sadie’s has kept its prices frozen for several years. In order to update their Ju d icia l Board 5 Upper Year Law Students T he Ju d ic ia l B o a r d o f The S tu d e n ts' S o c ie ty o c t s a s th e final au thority o n t h e in terp reta tio n o f th e C o n stitu tion a n d B y l a w s a s retail prices in light of higher w ell a s a c t s o f S tu d e n ts ' C o u n cil a n d a n y s tu d e n t g ro u p r e c o g n e e d b y C ou ncB . T h ese fiv e position s a r e o p e n t o la w stu d e n ts w h o . d u n n g t h e a c a d e m i c y e a r, wil b e in third o r fourth y e a r or pursuing a g r a d u a t e d e jy e e in law . wholesale costs, Werbin raised Sadie’s prices early last M cG ill Tribune Edito r T h e M e G il Tribune is p u b lish ed w eek ly b y th e S tu d e n ts' S o c ie ty . The Tribune is a ta b lo id s e e d n e w ^ p e ^ w t f h j ^ p t » p o s e o f week, but was forced to lower in fo rm in g t h e m e m b e r s o f............................... th e S tu d e n ts' S o c ie tyy a b o u t c a m p u s issue issues, e v e n ts a n d activ ities. T he E d rto i-n -ch ie f s tia l a p p o in t them the next day upon learn a n d su p e rv ise a la r g e s tu d e n t sta ff o f writers, ediitors. ito rs, p h o to g r a p h e rs a< n d p ro d u ctio n p e o p le . A p p lc a n ts m u st W e n M o n treal d u rin g t h e la st tw o w e e k s o f A ugust to p r é p a r é for th e first issue during registration w e e k in S e p te m b e r . A n a n n u a l stip e n d rs ing that price increases must grven go through SSMU. SSM U Students’ Handbook Edito r Werbin has now sub T he S tu d e n t H a n d b o o k wil b e g iv en to ev e ry s tu d e n t a t M cGill during registration in S e p te m b e r . This b o o k will In c k id e m a te r ia l a b o u t M c G il, M o n tre a l, th e Stu d e n ts S o c ie ty a n d o th e r c a m p u s ^ o u p s with p a r t ic iia r a tte n tio n p a id t o h elp in g mitted a proposal to SSMU n e w s tu d e n ts o rien t th e m s e lv e s to M cGill a n d M o n tre a l. The ed ito r m ust b e in M ontrée^ o v e r t h e su m m er, a n d 6 a l l o c a t e d a s tip e n d ( s u b je c t to rev iew b y S tu d e n ts' C o u n cil). General Manager Guy Old M cG ill Yearbook Editor Brisebois to allow price hikes ea r. It wil in c lu d e p h o to g r a p h s o f d M cGill CHd M c G il is th e h a rd -co v e r, which would enable Sadie’s " " e n d su p erv ise a la r g e g r a d u a t e s o f th e y e a r a s w el a t t e n d a 3 -d a y w orks ta ff in c lu d in g writers, p h o to g ra p h e rs , to maintain a constant mark s h o p in M a r c h o r April, a n d a r e a l o c a t e d a n a n n u a l stip en d . up in order to accommodate Red H erring Edito r increases in wholesale prices. T he R e d H e rrn g is M cG ill's only intentionally h u m orou s m a g a z in e . The Editor-rv-Chtef is re sp o n sib le for t h e r n m e c k a te ed ito rial Werbin explained that sta ff, d e a l n g with th e S tu d e n ts ' S o c ie ty , m a k in g su re d e a d lin e s a r e k e p t, re a d in g s o f t h e c o n stitu tio n , o rg a n iz in g w e e k ly S c r a b b l e to u rn a m e n ts a n d k e e p in g th e RCM P busy. he would like Sadie’s to stand on its own two feet. “My goal SSM U Speaker o f Council as the manager of Sadie’s is T he S p e a k e r o f C o u n cil wil b e a s tu d e n t-a t-la r g e w h o know s R o b e rt's Rules o f O d e r . In a d d itio n t o th a t m a s te ry , y o u w cn Jd p la n a n a n n u a l C o u n cil se m in a r a n d re tr e a t, c h a ir th e SSMU G e n e r a l M eetin g s a n d a d v e rtis e C o u n c i d e c is io n s a n d m e e t to not have a subsidy situa ings. tion,” he insisted. Food & Beverage Com m issioner Brisebois explained that T he F o o d & B e v e r a g e C om m ission er wil o v e r s e e with th e V.P. F in a n c e all fo o d & B e v e r a g e o p e ra tio n s. a large portion of the tabagie’s C h ie f Returning O fficer (C R O ) sales are made up of items on T he C h ie f R e t u m h g O ffice r (C R O ) o f th e S tu d e n ts ' S o c ie ty e le c tio n s , b y -e le c tio n s a n d r e fe r e n d a du ring t h e s c h o o l y e cr. H e which the store makes little o r s h e will a p p o in t a D ep u ty C R O th rou gh th e n o rm a l a p p t c a t i o n p ro c e s s a s well a s hire clerics t o s tp e r v ts e e a c h p o l . a n d or no profit, such as bus c o o r d i n a t e a » o u p o f v o lu n teers know n a s E lectio n s M cG il. The C R O w il b e p a id a b a s ic m inim um w a g e p kjs 25% o n ly o n e le c t i o n d a y s for c a m p u s -w id e ele ctio n s. passes, stamps, and copy cards. He said the resulting COMMITTEES profits have not been suffi Com m unications Committee 3 Students at large cient to offset the costs in TTks c o m m i t t e e is c o m p r is e d o f th e P resid e n t, th e V ic e - P resid en t o f In fern al Affairs-, th e P ro g ram C o o rd in a to r, tw o C o u n c B o is . curred during operation. a n d t h r e e m e m b e r s - a t-la r g e . The m ain o b je c t iv e o f th e c o m m itt e e is t o fo ster c o m m u nlicem e * o n b e t w e e n th e m e m b e rs h ip -a t— la r g e a n d t h e S tu d e n ts ' C o u n cil a n d c o m m itte e s . “The profit we’re mak ing from selling other items Environm ent Committee 2 Students at large is not sufficient to cover the This c o m m i t t e e is t o c o o r d in a te a n d o v e r s e e all S tu d e n ts' S o c ie ty p ro g ra m s, a ctiv itie s, a n d lo b b y in g efforts d e s ig n e d t o p ro t e c t t h e e n v r o o m e n t , a n d t o e n su re th e c o n tin u e d d e v e lo p m e n t a n d im p le m e n ta tio n o f re le v a n t S tu d e n ts S o c ie ty p o è c ie s. costs of the services we pro
Students’ Society Internal Positions
Food & Beverage Committee
2
Students at large
T h e F o o d a n d B e v e r a g e C o m m itte e is re sp o n s ib le for rev iew in g p o licy a n d r e c o m m e n d in g a n d / o r a c t i n g o n su g g e stio n s a n d / o r c o m p la in ts m a d e re g a rd in g th e fo o d s e r v ic e p ro v id ed t o stu d e n ts.
Policy Review Committee
3
Students at large
This c o m m i t t e e co n sists o f SSMU P resid e n t, 3 C ou ncillors th e G e n e r a l M a n o g e r a n d 3 S tu d e n ts-a t-la rg e . T h e m a n d a t e o f th e c o m m i t t e e is t o re v iew all p revious p o licy in s crib e d in th e SSMU p o licy m a n u a l a n d to r e c o m m e n d c h a n g e s t o c o u n c i .
Tribune Publications Board
2
Students at large
T h e T ribun e P u b lica tio n s B o a rd is re sp o n sib le for m a n a g in g a n d c o n tr o lin g th e fin a n c e s a n d le g a l c ffc É s o f t h e M c G i T r t x n e a n d fo r g u a r a n te e in g th a t t h e o b je c tiv e s o f t h e Tribune a r e m e t.
W illiam Shatner University Centre Committee
2
Students at large
The Wiliam Shatner University Centre Committee is responsible for estabishtng long term plans for the WiHam Shatner Univecsity Centre, including renovations, expansions and leases. The WiliamShatner University Centre Committee is also responsible for dealing withany issues pertaining to the operation of the WilliamShatner UniversityCentre.
Deadline is Feb. 12,1993, 5 pm.
B a c k in g fro m h ig h e r p r ic e s , S a d ie s' m u st a sse ss its p r io r it ie s .
Pick up an application at the SSMU counter, Shatner Bldg. Call Julie, V.P. Internal at 398-6799 for more information.
P age 10
The McGill Tribune? T e b a i® y ’^ l5 r l9 9 3
F e a tu re s W e d e d ic a t e t h is V a le n t in e 's
F e a tu re s
S e c t io n to a l l o f y o u w h o h a t e to b e i n lo v e ...
W hen you w ish your sign ifican t other w a sn ’t so sign ifican t B Y K A T H E R IN E BROW N AND ANG ELA C AM PBELL Come Valentine’s Day, most people tend to wallow, glazed-eyed, in hopeless de votion at their beloved Pookey, Cup-Cake or Love-Buns. At one time or another, we all lose that loving feeling. When things begin to crumble and your Hunka Hunka Bumin’ Love doesn’t seem so ‘to die for’ anymore,it’stime to buy a one-way ticket to Splitsville. Let’s look at the options for the Romantically Dis tressed. There are two ways out of the land of love: either get dumped, or do the dumping yourself. Both can be rough. Love is Hell. Certain actions are almost guaranteed to fling you into in the tar pits of life, wondering where your dearie went. Cheating on your Snookums, even if he/she has the charisma of cold oatmeal, will set you up for a big time break-up, and you’ll be sleeping single in a double bed once more. U2 Arts student Raven* went out with three guys at once. However, none of her boyfriends were aware that they were sharing space in such an accommodating heart. “I wouldn’t have been exposed if all my friends hadn’t known, and been talking about it,” she explained. Raven got dumped by all three in rapid succession. “In a way, I deserved it. I wasn’t particularly honest, I guess. I cried a lot and wrote morbid poetry. I spent a lot of months just trying to get people to talk to me. I tried to make them all feel like they were special, but it didn’t work, I guess.” Similarly, attempting to create paradise by the dash board light- with someone else’s honey- may cause dam age to your property.
U1 Arts student Heath told a story of illicit carnal pleasures: “I met a girl at a party. She offered me a ride home with a ‘knowing smile’. We stopped the car in an icy parking lot, which was on a bit of an incline, and in the proc ess of making out, we disen gaged the parking brake and skidded backwards into a wall. She called everyone she knew to help us out, but the only person who was home was her boyfriend. I was forced to take the bus home. She told him a pretty good story, but soon after, she confessed, apolo gized and dumped me instead. Great.” Some people don’t con sider the fact that their Chosen One may not feel mutual ado ration. Drusilla, a U2 Science student, recalled making per sonalized pink, heart shaped cupcakes for her boyfriend in a grade eight home economics class. “I was so excited that I called him up to tell him. He said, ‘Maybe you should give them to someone else. ’ I didn’t understand. I thought maybe he didn’t like cupcakes or something, so I explained that I couldn’t, because they had his name on them. I really had no clue. Then he broke up with me.” Although wellintentioned, the “Let’s just be friends” approach can be the most stinging. Most couples who say this aren’t friends af ter they break up, and it can also make the dumped feel like an old gym shoe: comfortable, but not attractive (not to men tion foul-smelling). U2 Arts student Sienna knows the feeling. She got her news in a letter. “First of all, he spelled my name wrong. The letter said ‘We’re not involved. There’s nothing going on between us. There never was. I don’t want to be involved with anyone-1
want to be friends.’ He was' such a fish. He runs away whenever he sees me... he still feels guilty.” However, euphoria may set in once the manacles of commitment are discarded. Antonio, who is in U3 Arts, explained, prefacing his re marks with “I’m going to spare my ego and tell a dumping story.” Antonio claims he was ‘trapped’ in a relationship two weeks before he left for CEGEP, and didn’t have the heart to break it off, “There was a lot of pres sure on me from her and her friends after we fooled around at a party. I liked her, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted a rela tionship. When I told her this, she started crying, so we started going out. It was a guilt trap.” But things went from bad to worse. “She’d drive up and visit me on weekends, and ex pected me to pay for half of the gas. She’d eat my food, and I didn’t have that much food to begin with. I became really distant and finally she called to break it off. I had to act like I was sad, but the first thing I did when I got off the phone was give my friend a high-five. I finally had the weekends to myself.” When you just can’t pre tend to enjoy waking up in your mate’s pool of drool on your pillow or stand to keep calling their horse laugh ‘en dearing’ any longer, it’s time to take action and do the dirty deed yourself. Although a certain greet ing card company now makes cards for this purpose, “Dear John” letters may come off sounding cowardly. However, this didn’t stop U1 Arts student Marco from writing one. “I had been away from my girlfriend for six months. I wanted to let her know that it was over before I got home. I didn’t want any mushy scenes
at the airport. So I wrote her a letter from the bar of an Aus tralian cruise ship with my fe male traveling companion sit ting by my side.” Breaking up with some one may also have sinister as pects, bringing out the demon in outwardly rational human beings. U1 Arts student Lucinda was left feeling shaky after she broke the news to her ex. “On the day I was going to dump him, he brought me a rose. I felt bad, but there was no way I was going back on my word at that point. The rose was pink, and I’d read some where that pink symbolized friendship, so I used that to initiate the break-up. When I told him, he had a major fit. He punched a few
walls and started to cry. It was scary, actually.” Some relationships are, shall we say, non-existent from the very beginning. Unlike the stereotypical break-up, Savan nah’s saw no rivers of tears being shed by either party in volved. This U1 Science stu dent dumped her boyfriend af ter only two months of dating, “When we were together, all he wanted to do was watch Star Trek movies. Then when we broke up, I told him to have a nice life, and my own im proved. I obviously couldn’t have cared less about the guy.” If only all break ups could be this easy. *All names have been changed to avoid further hu miliation.
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Features
The McGill Tribune, February 9-15.1993
In e p t m a tin g p ra ctice s abound in the a n im a l kingdom BY SARAH
DALLE
AND CHERYL DEVOE
The games we play today insearch of the perfect bedmate are confusing, frustrating and often hopeless, but we are not alone. Here’s a sampling of mating practices from the ani mal kingdom. Perhaps you’ll recognize someone you know. The S n e a k : Mostly fishy behaviour. Mr. Sneaky Fish waits for Mr. Innocent Fish to attract a female. When the fe male lays her eggs, Mr. Sneaky slips in between the spawning pair and fertilizes some of the eggs. Mr. Innocent will also fer tilize some of the eggs. These males aren’t all bad, however. They tend to be single fathers who after the eggs (both Mr. Innocent and Mr. Sneaky). T h e P o s s e s s iv e : Male sharks aren’t into sharing their mates. Some use their penis to
give the female a contraceptive douche prior to copulation, washing out any sperm from former lovers. Thus the shark’s penis has two tubes, one through which the sperm flows, and the other which acts as a seawater siphon. The pressure from the spray of seawater can be so strong that it could wash out the entire female reproductive tract before copulation. T h e G if t- b e a r e r : Female black-tipped hangingflies choose males that give large, edible, nuptial gifts. The dura tion of mating is, however, de pendent on the size of the gift. T h e P e rs is te n t: The male praying mantis is capable of copulating even without his head. He does so by wiggling around until he bumps into a female and successfully mounts her. It is fortunate that the male has this incredible capability, since hungry females have ac-
T h e r e 's n o th in g w ro n g w ith
tually been known to bite off males’ heads during copulation. (‘Til death do us part). T h e L a z y : Some frogs, crickets and toads are the nonaggressive type. They wait until an aggressive male calls to a female. When the female passes
excited during copulation that his whole penis is ejaculated into the female’s abdomen, lost forever. T h e H o p eless: Some ani mals have trouble distinguish ing between members of their species and inanimate objects. Thus bees try to mate with flowers. Toads mate with rub ber boots and fingers. You get the picture. There you have it. If the inability to find the perfect mate g has got you down this Valen,► tine’s Day, keep it in perspec3 five. Human mating rituals are * no more hopeless, underhanded « or downright weird than the rest oftheanimalkingdom.Formore insight into our own mating habits, check out Animal Be haviour, by John Alcock. He s lo w a n d s t e a d y . by the lazy male, heading to may be the real expert. wards the aggressive male, he intercepts and goes for the D o ijou know w hat happens touchdown. next in the T a s te r s The Faithful: Male hon C h oice,T M a d s? eybees are kept faithful to their first true love by a rather ingen H e qets smuched hq a hus. ious method. The male gets so
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The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
C a t a n d K a t ’s G u i d e t o V a l e n t i n e ’s D a y B Y C A T K IN N O R R IS A N D K A T R IN A O N S T A D Valentine’s Day comes but once a year, and according to many McGillicutties, that’s one time too many. When presented with the seemingly benevolent question, “What does Valentine’s Day mean to you?”, most of you told us to simply shut up. But some of you managed to grace us with a plethora of hateful responses and suggestions, and we’ve compiled them in this handy, easy to use Tribune Tribute to Valentine’s Day. So let 1993 be the year you rewrite the Hallmark. Follow this lit tle Guide o’ Love and you’re guar anteed to fall in love — or at least get some serious play. Thanks for creat ing these lists; we’ll tell you how it went on Sunday. Things to shout at your lover fr o m across a crow ded room “Our love sticky sweet / from my head down to my feet.” (Def Leppard) “Love changes everything / hands and faces, earth and sky /love, love changes everything / how we live and how we die.” (Andrew Lloyd Webber) “You don’t have to take your / clothes off /to have a good time/ oh
no/ We can dance and party all night/ And drink some cherry wine./ uhhuh.” (De Barge— or at least, some one who looks like De Barge) “If a double decker bus / crashes into us / to die by your side/ is such a heavenly way to die.” (Smiths)
Bull Durham: Any film that manages to make Kevin Costner vaguely attractive deserves an Oscar in the Sex Hall of Fame. And Susan Sarandon — sssss....hot! Annie Hall: Shelly Duvall. She’s Gotta Have It: Women masturbate too, y ’ know., so have fun on Valentine’s day, all you singles.
Movies to put you in the m ood Movies to destroy your V-day White P alace: The sheet scene specifically; and James Spader in general. The Big E asy: If only it was that Easy! Betty Blue: Even if you don’t speak French, you’ll understand the universal language of The Nasty, complete with love handles, squelch ing sounds, and actual male flesh. The Player: Nonudity, buttalk about getting Play! Sex, Lies and Videotape: Once again, it’s what you don't see. (Plus, we’d watch James Spader sit on a box for two hours.) River’s Edge: lone Skye and Keanu Reeves jammin’ in a sleeping bag “is pretty gross, but, like, I liked it” (Jeff, Arts U3). Lady and the Tramp: Aww, you guys are suckers for romance! The Tall Guy: Gotta love a sex scene that involves a piano falling out a window. Hi-larious!
B asic Instinct,; Body o f Evi dence: 91/2 Weeks: The Bodyguard: No Way Out: Pretty Woman: Wild Orchid: and even the more Dailyesque (“It’s-art, you-guys! It-reallyis!”) Henry & June, The Lover, The Cook, the Thief, hisWife and Her Lover, or Damage. What these movies share is an ability to alienate their audiences, making you feel like you’ve barged in on a bad night at a McConnell Hall Progression Party. Misogyny just doesn’tcutthemustard when it comes to sexy movies. Each of these mov ies, critically acclaimed or no, is de stroyed by rampant rape fantasies; greased, silicone bodies; cardiovas cular yamming and a complete lack of humanity and love. Spare us. M usic to ‘get dow n’ to Let ’ s Get It On (Marvin Gaye) : Oh, mercy, mercy me.
Black (Pearl Jam): Yeah, we know he’s a poseur, but that doesn’t mean his voice doesn’t take us to the brink...and back You Are the Everything (R.E.M.): “I think about this world a lot/ And I cry / And I’ve seen the films and the eyes...” Me too, Michael! Me too! Pick me, pick me! Beethoven’s Choral Fantasy: Roll over, Beethoven, let’s get na ked. I Want Your Sex (George Michael): So self-referential, so dam appropriate! I Want You (Elvis Costello): Like a good Valentine’s night, you think it’s over, then it starts again (the song, that is). Anything by Prince: So what if Boy George called him, “A pubic hair dipped in oil .” You can pump and grind in “Twenty-three positions in a one-night stand.” M usic that’ll induce the p ro verbial head ach e Michael Bolton; Phil Collins; King Crimson, Curtis Stigers, Jon Secada/Yes/Rush (please, no progrock in the bedroom); Air Supply / Chicago /Styx (please, no adult con temporary in the bedroom); Enya; N.W .A. / Getto Boys; Devo; “grunge.” You figure it out.
What y’all say about Valentine’s Day? “It’s about mafia massacres, hating Jews, and love. Three sub jects I’m not particularly fond of.” — Seth Abramovitch (Engineering U3) “I completely forgot about it. It’s anon-event. ...Why do you ask? Is this a trick question?” —Daisy Hazzard (Arts Ul) “It’s really gross. I don’t do Valentine’s, I just don’t. I ’m not a breeder. No, don’t put that in. It’s offensive, not like I ’m ever offen sive.” —James Forbes (Arts U3) “A very, very depressing day.” —Billy Hufsey (Arts U3) ‘The worst thing is when Val entine’s Day passes you by and you don’t even notice...and the best thing would be if someone asked me out. A first date would be excellent. Yeah.” — Steve Gough (Arts U2) & Robbie Cohen (Sciences U2). “I love it, it’s my favorite holiday. Why? Because 1 can give Valentines to people, and it makes them happy, for at least five min utes.” —Russell Bennett (Arts U3) “I think everyone should have great sex on Valentine’s Day.” — DebbieIshiguro (Management Ul) “I HAVE NO ONE. WHAT HAVE I TO CELEBRATE?” — Lexa Gentile (Arts U2).
F ir s t d a te — w o rst d a te ? B Y D E B B IE CHO W
P i n c h m e , y o u 'r e d r e a m in g .
February 14 is a day seemingly designed forall those sweet cou ples who make out in front of you at the movies, call each other ‘burtnykins’ in the li brary and generally make your life hell. But before you lock yourself in your room and listen to Nine Inch Nails all day, remem ber that dating and love is not all moon light and roses. Every romance starts with a first date and although
some are good, some are the epitome of your scariest nightmare. So in an effort to cheer up those of us not in love, here are some of the Worst First Date stories. Steve Kuiack (U l Arts): It was grade 11 when I asked out this girl I met at work. We went to William’s B eef Parlour, an “élite” restaurant in Sarnia, and after din ner we decided to go to a mutual friend’s party. We separated and I decided to look cool in front of my friends by saying “Guys- see that girl over there, I’ll bet I can pick her up in the next five minutes”. So I went over and started talking to her and I had just bought a new lighter and was practising some tricks. She had really long blond hair and she must have had a
lot of hairspray in it because some how the lighter caught it and her hair went up in flames. I started hitting her to put the fire out but all you could see was the smoke coming up through the curls in her hair; it looked like her head was smoking. The smell of burning hair sort o f ruined the party’s atmosphere and about 30 cm of her hair was burned off. She was fairly cool about it but I was too scared to ever call her again. Linnaea Johnson (U 1 Arts): I was 13 years old when a fellow Burger King co-worker asked me to the movies. Imadeitclearitwasjust friendship but when he showed up wearing the kind of cologne your grandma would give you that comes in a little glass car, it was obvious that he had the wrong idea. His dad
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drove us there, and during the movie I endured “creeping hand syndrome” as well as the “fake stretch armhook”. He ‘accidentally’ told his dad to come a half hour late, so he could co erce me behind the dumpsters where he proceeded with every cheesy come-on in history. Needless to say I never saw him again and I spent the next month hiding behind the bunmaster to avoid him. L u k e Solom an (U l S c i ence): It was grade twelve and I had asked out this girl from school and we had planned to go into Vancou ver for an upcoming P. A. Day. It so happened that a friend’s father sud denly died so we started the date by attending the funeral. The ambience was somewhat dark, medieval almost by the time we headed into Vancouver where I took her to my favourite café, the kind of place where the cook ’ s ashes fall into the food and there’s bums all around. I ordered fish and chips but somehow managed to pour sugar instead of salt all over my food. After we had both laughed at me the date continued relatively uneventfully until I decided to stop at Dairy Queen for a super- size lime milkshake before heading home. I got the milkshake and put it on the dashboard and then drove off thereby splashing the milkshake all over her, the car and myself. But it must have been funnier than I thought because we’ve been going out ever since.
P age 13
The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
F e a tu re s I s o n e th e lo n e lie s t n u m b e r ? B Y MAX D O D D You’re single. You’re rea sonably attractive. You’re an intel ligent person, or so you tell your self. Then why can’t people stop asking: “So, are you seeing some body yet?” It’s okay to be single, proclaims Cosm o, (but just between us, you’d really rather be with someone, wouldn’t you? O f course you would.) According to popular percep tion, on Valentine’s Day the single person is supposed to be desperate enough to grab a gun and take aim from the top o f a nearby building. But this image is ridiculous, say the uncoupled. They, and their ‘mar ried’ friends, would like to dispel the myth of the Romantically Chal lenged. “It’s crazy,” says Corinne MacPhee, a U2 Religious Studies student. “Socially, dating is consid ered to be a major component of your life. You’re expected to be with someone. But I think that people who are always searching and thinking about it lose the time to develop themselves.” Apparently, this view is not an uncommon one. Statistics Cana da’s most recent reports indicate that there are more singles in the nation now than ever before. American publications like the al ternative bi-monthly Utne R eader
(which recently featured a piece entitled ‘The case for being single’) have started to include articles about the joys of being alone. Yet the one mainstream movie of 1992 to deal explicitly with the subject (Cameron Crowe’s Singles ) made loners into lorielyhearts whose ultimate quest ends in a relationship. As the latter example shows, not all media has changed with the times. “The media and movies com pletely reinforce the romantic ideal of being part of a couple,” affirms U2 Arts student Paul Darvasi. “However, I believe everyone has an innate desire for a relationship. It’s both a subjective yearning and a societal push.” When that push comes, say many students, it’s directed at women. Men are subject to a differ ent standard of behavior; one that hearkens back to the ‘7 0 ’s. “The younger generation of men tends to promote the idea o f the swinging single; the Sam Malonetype,” stated single male Andrew Bums, aU 2 Arts student. “If women ‘swing,’ they’re ‘easy’.” (Despite his perception o f societal values, Bums decided not to use his real name due to his identification as ‘single,’ which he saw as embar rassing.) Traditions seem to be strong est in non-traditional times. Women argue that an outdated mentality still
exists. “The view is that there’s something wrong with you if you’re not dating,” comments U 1 Arts stu dent Claire Charlton. “Often a woman will internalize that and begin to feel unattractive, undesir able.” Adds MacPhee: “Women are perceived to be waiting for the right man; men are perceived to be ‘ shop ping around’. But that’s changing. I like to think that women can now be single without being seen as prin cesses waiting for princes.” There are many reasons why people choose to be single in the ‘9 0 ’s. They may have endured a messy divorce, or wish to focus on their career before settling down. They may just be gun-shy, afraid of getting hurt. Whatever the case, fewer women are enrolling in uni versity these days with the anti quated goal of an ‘ MRS. Degree’ in mind. Noted MacPhee: “I think a more contemporary trend is that of the ‘university relationship’; it be comes a transitional stage- for both men and women- between adoles cence and marriage.” It’s clear that there are both rewards and disadvantages to being alone. Bums claims that in high school his parents gave him more freedom when he was with some body, simply because (they thought)
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they knew his whereabouts at all times. Charlton and Darvasi, on the other hand, cited sexual and personal freedom as the main reason to remain single. “There’s less of a stigma than there used to be,” asserted Charlton. “If you’re single, you can do what you want, when you want, without being responsible to anyone. Mo nogamy has become associated with maturity. Most of my friends want to settle down, but only when they ’ve reached a certain age.” Sociology professor Roger Krohn, who lectures on relation ships and peer pressure, agrees with Charlton. “Being single has become more legitimate, especially for women. Where single women used to be perceived as socially unac ceptable spinsters, they can now have a romantic life [without cou pling or marrying] and still be part
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of the public sphere. Marriage itself doesn’t come until much later these days; common-law (where the two parties live together without being legally wed) is a much more a popular choice.” When it seems like everyone in the world is holding hands, words like these can be extremely com forting. As books like Men women love, Men women leave stock the shelves, take heart in the fact that others, like Susan Fa\ud\’sB acklash, are being bought by those who no longer wish to engage in the rituals of coupling and uncoupling. At the very least, the single person is able to spend more time with their friends and less trying to decide which side of the bed they ’re going to sleep on. As MacPhee concluded: “I ’m continually struck by the question ‘why aren’t you with somebody?’ Why do you have to be?”
GIVE YOUR VALENTINE OUR BEAUTIFUL FTD "SEND ME" BOUQUET.
W e d e l i v e r a n y w h e r e in CA N A D A & t h e U S . A ll m a j o r c r e d i t c a r d s a c c e p t e d
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V Genevieve, (Gege), I miss your loving glances. I must write this secretly ‘cause your boyfriend is right beside me. Chari. V T o my one and only B A R A C U D A , "W hat?, W hat?, W hat?," (JiH ai). Had I the heav en s' em broid ered cloths,/ Enwrought with golden and silver light,/The blue and the dim and the dark cloths/Of night and light and the half-light.............. Y.C. ^ Alison: I ’ll teach you to drive any day, love K V Charles, Every time I leave me my heart breaks. I love me forever and ever. Love, Me. V S.U .D .T .(o risitS .S .D .T )Ilo v e everything about you, even your frosty feet. Passionately yours, B . N .J.J. V My dearest Baptist; you’ll al ways be my sweety. Happy VDay, Love K. V Carlo (my Italian stud); There’s a secret that you should know. Even though we’ve met only twice, and I ’m no longer in your cognition class... You have an admirer! V Larry: TH E G R A T E F U L DEAD. There, I got your attention. I am sickeningly happy with you. Now... let’s go annoy single peo ple- Love, M. V Benny: go away. V CADarren (EW C); Where are you? Are you being good or bad? If it’s bad, it better be with me. Love your EW C pal. V Liamusen— > Kimi, Aishiteru yo — > and I will tonite too. v To my secret love Jason Bar. I see you everyday but I don’t exist in your eyes. I dream o f you every night with hopes of being your girlfriend. Happy Valentine’s Day. Love Sara V Happy Valentine’s to a certain someone with long dirty blond hair in Engineering (D .B.) How I long to run my fingers through your hair. Love Bambi. * * Jordan— we love you!! Valen tine's day without you would be like Florida without sunshine, or like Gary without Elaine... W e’re available for polka anytime— Love Floyd and Cara. V Happy Valentines Day to those babes who respond to “nice shoes! Wanna f * * * ? ” Love the slider. V To the most voluptuous woman I know; katy lane. Meet me before dark; theo. ^ Hey Korn Kob, I love it when you edit me, Derek. V To the Vermont gang and Jason C. Fun weekend! Too bad your debauchery prevented any skiing! Ski-boy V S.S. I ’ve been attracted to you since second year— are we going to do anything about it before we graduate? Probably not, because I have no nerve at all. But I wish. V To Huckleberry, you are what the heavens are made of. * * To Manny, Have a Lovely Day— Love Wendy, v To Kate and Allie; I love it when you look at me. Luke. V To my superman o f all violin ists. Love always, Dan XXO O V James Forbes, I want to fill you with my Pillar o f love. V Adam, let me be your veggie lo v er— my carrots c a n ’t stop f* * * * in g the ground. v To the stunning second row
Valentines blonde in 160-321B, your gorgeous smile has been duly noted. Love, a secret observer. ^ Stairmasters.H. W hatare those noises? R. Nice Hat. S- great left jab. T. Thanks for the C.C. cook ies! Love Jen. ^ BA R A CU D A ,Iloveyou...Y .C . V Michael Broadhurst, we love you. Why haven’t you written lately? The D aily. Ominic— I quiver with delight and anticipation, let me hear your Leo roar— you really are a pig— o o in k !! The fully operational weiner boy— Stimpy. ^ Alii, Carm, Reb and Tan— Happy Funkin’ Valentine's day, Love Wicked Woo. ^ Hey Pete, Just wait until Sept. 4. Despite all your difficulties I love U (just kidding) Sweet P v M aija and Amanda: The extent o f your p-c-ness and hilarious jokes never cease to amaze me and I want both o f you to be my Valen tines, and if you won’t I ’ll be forced
toujours, mes amies! Love you. V Erinn, your platonic non-bi sexual love awaits, go to him now, dismount your italian stallion and sperm me on! * * Sif— what are we going to do in May? L et’s join a commune or better yet, let’s never leave, kt To Nanny and Meryl: Lively up yourselves, Natty Valentines day, from Wendy. Andrew: W e’ll stand on your dropcloth anytime. For all those Korda moments. Have a mellow day; hukey-dukey. C and M. ^ Devlin Barrett— Hey sweetie! Have a great day. Your back row Poli-Sci bud. V Susan, it’s great living with you, 'sis. ^ By the way Devlin — I think you may still owe me a beer, k V Elizabeth M.— Come May, let’s go to the Old Port and throw every thing bad out o f our past and into the water. You’re amazing. K V What about an island for you
The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
you and me in the library. * To my belunga squish. L .S.— Love you— Meg and Mg * * To the waitress who puts just the right amount o f ice in my gingerale; thanks beautiful ^ T o Elizabeth— My movie buddy! We need to go on a movie marathon soon. Shall we all go live on a commune next year? Happy Valentines Day. Lots o f Love Sif * * To my execs, thanks for your honesty. J.P. * * Pablo Slough, good luck with your Valentine’s date— roomie ^ Bet— its been wonderful hav ing your high-cholesterol body, and now after two years the roses say I ’ve also got your mind. Looking forward to our mutual future in funds. Y ours always. Svelte Young M o d el. B ah am a M am a— Bahmmam! Happy V-Day to you and Reba ^ T, A and A, M— Happy VDay— No funny message; gues there’s a limit to my writing Func
t. e w a «
to lock you both in separate rooms furnished only with speakers through which I will force Joni Mitchell and the Indigo Girls on you... for the remainder o f your existence. Happy Valentine's Day! ^ Desperately seeking “nice Jew ish boy” for roommate, for intense frolicking and 4-stereo night. O Prof. Whitehead— what other dares has your man driven you to? V My light so clear I think you’re a dear. Love Alisa V Adrian: I love the way you move copy. Max. * CORINNE: Want to share your fantasies? Come, call me now, at 1976-OPAL. Direct contact and hot encounters. 1-976-O P A L . I ’m waiting for your call... late-night TV hasn’t affected the way I feel. Love, roomie. (Oh, I just embar rass you every year, now don’t I?). V Tall Beautiful person in my Anthropology o f Religion class (Ursula?) It would please me be yond measure if we could progress from eye contact to a tangible con versation before we both graduate. V Caroline, will you be mine? Alisa V Sarrra and Beckster. Pour
and me? V Muller, you are an Adonis and I love your poetry V Neville, you are an Adonis and I love your poetry V Brad, you are an Adonis and I love your poetry * * Chris Alam, you are an Adonis and I love your poetry V H ave HU! Ha C laby Bobkylakam— Pu Hu! V Bosso.yoquiero dormir contigo esta noche. Tell your belly button that it’s invited too— Hashi * * Ann on St. Anne’s Kampus: Glad you’re still doing well in sec ond year; Y ou ’ll find I still (and always will) love you; And if the opportunity ever does appear; I’ll be glad for us to share lots o f happy hours too. Your B ill— Ahuvati V To Jen S. Thanks for all your cookies and brownies! Love Rich ^ To Alex— where are you ?!?! Rich ^ B ebc D ’amour! You are my fantasy— that’s all I have to say .. . Chanchou * * To the woman o f my dreams— Happy Valentine’s Day. Steve V To my Jalabee, nerd, ladoo, xtra small baby shabee. This V-Day
tion. Especially when there’s no special variable involved ^ Colin— it just won’t be the same without you. Keep your chin up— we love you, we’ll miss you * * Colin— I ’LL miss exchanging those hot looks with you. ** To “Moira that’s not very funny”— happy V.D. * * Jill— wantyour cable hotwired? Call me over and I’ll plug it in for you— the cable man ^ To the most romantic guy I know, Happy Valentines Day JA love MAS ** Happy V a le n tin e ’s D ay, Fraulein (A KA Lester, Tonga, Stripey)— Hope the hearty Cana dian weather isn’t getting you down. See you soon my LOVE. Your faithful Fritz * * John, aka "Midnightman". I love you and will always love you.Looking forward to reading about you in Times magazine. * * M .J.T. Thanks forthe best year! Looking forward to spending VDay and Spring Break with you. Love you lots Dude. J.E.N . V Holobka— I love your bum— HASH V Kevin— Love me . . . that is all
I ask o f you. Love Kris and Snuff V PaulJohnson.IwanttoWalksafe with you. Love your secret admirer ^ It’s the other Walksafe Paul (dispatch) that captures my fancy. Do we have a connection or is it my imagination— probably the latter * * Happy V-Day to S. Barr— Lustfully the friendly knocker V Y it Chong Wong! You and Marky Mark are such sweet things ^ To Jean-Francois— Piazza San Marco. May. You know the rest. Jen * * Chris BabyCowMeat: Bear of my life, jackrabbit to my bunny, grim skunk video maker, party go pher participant...do you have a mammal fetish? Love you anyway, bunny Jane. ^ To the woman in PoliSci 160227B . I sit behind you, you have a nice smile. Why did you drop Planets, Stars and Galaxies? I dropped History 215D . * * Guess who! Eli: You’reagreat ... friend. Thank you (Fuck off). ^ Baboo! Mara. ^ Wee Little Prendy: Billy, I ’m loving your short Kevin Costner curls. Look at me ‘cause you know I ’m looking at you. Love? ^ Alii, Geoff, Jen, Julie, Laura & Sam: In love with you. V Dearest Snugglebear: With you everyday grows brighter. Love you lots & lots. XXXO O O * * To Fu Bagel King: Don’t hide in the dumpster, it smells. The Muffin King. ^ Brentster: This is to boost your ego! I love ya totally. Love Nute ** Je ff P.: I love how you get off...to a slow start. * * R ico S uave: First we take Man hattan, then we take the cast block...Here’s to political patron age and sex scandals! Happy Love Day -Yitz ^ To Meg the Egg: Happy BD & VD - Charles. **T o my favc roomie Doris: Thanks for the Egg McMuffin™ without the ham. Rentingly yours, Barb. ^ Solid, I say to my friend when I see your radiant beauty across the room. Ea-sy I say, brushing beside you. Am I right (if I were Nelson)? * * Jeff, Dahe & Keek: Roses are red, Violets are blue, You all cool, Andupupandaway. Love Konrad. ^ To Minnie, I love you lots and lots and lots and lots and lots. Love Mickie. ^ To Meg: I ’ll be your L .S. 4ever. Y .L .S.B .S . * * A.H.: What can I say without saying the wrong thing? You make me think more than anyone I know— is that a good thing? Usu ally. ^ Jo h n D — I,m coming out o f the closetjustforyou! Let’s meet in the bathromm on 3rd next week. C. Bruce Harling V Sue N: Your figure(s) make(s) a real (financial) statement, Love, the world’s 2nd worst driver. V Eric: Spiritual brother o f Lyle & Wittgenstein - Had any good dreams lately? K ^ My Storky (J.B .): Yourenormis fermer excites me! -Brenda. * * Monique: Trees on ski hills are not your friends. Love the T-Bar King. V Al, Carm, Reb: Camembert? Sparkling white wine? Our fivecourse meals just wouldn’t be the
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The McGill Tribune, February 9-15.1993
same without you! Happy Valen tine’s Day, Love Tan V Gege, be my valentine and please take home your hat (just kidding) -Marty. V Slishandsquish...ooh,don’tw e smell pretty? You’re my sticky boy and I’m your brown-eyed girl. - A. * * Barnaby: You are a perfect man. * * To M.C. Kevin B. (Mr. Mega Mass 2000): I love the way you blow your burps into blue eyes’ face - Pipi. V Caroline: Hopelessly adoring you from over here - All my love, David. V Ali Achnook: I ’ll love you forever. You’re the best. -Otis. V Peaceful times Jack. [G-7] - A. V To Matthew: Thanks for intro ducing me to Stanley. We have a great time together. Your Tweety. V Wobbie the Wabbit: Wishing you tangerine dreams on Valen tine’s day. Love Yoda. V Indy— enemy? No. Colleague? I wish. Too good. * * Kelly: Maybe next year, you will actually read this first hand. Love. -Kegagk. * * Hey Farts: here’s to the white peaks o f our adventure. Love, Smelly. * * JSG : A)I love you. B ) You’re very nice and come from good stock. * * Trish: Take the train with me again. -Chris. V Josey: To your dare on this Valentine’s Day! Thanks for eve rything you’ve done. Love your Sammie Bear. ^ Dear Blue Eyes (Scrumptious, Precious, setholla, etc...): Hove the way you lick the peanut butter off the spoon -Your roommate ‘Pipi’. V Alex: Be my Valentine. -Fiona, v Weed: Your little goatee makes me squeal with glee.- Insect. V To All my Naked Snuffies: Thanks for the menage a 16. Happy V .D ., Love Cheryl. V B J: Always be Grand Chief Rude Skank Slice. -EB (&LW ). V K E G: There is a special toasted mouse in my heart for you. V Sunshine, so what are you do ing for the next 55+ years? Wanna snuggle?! XO Stairmasters: Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day full o f tons-o-love. Love Laila. V S if T.: If you were Maggie and I were Dr. Fleischman, I wouldn’t hesitate. V Trish & Kathy: Death...Life;one cannot express the qualities o f the other. Me...Girls. Runaway! -ManBoy. V CA: If it weren’t for the Junior Anti-sex League, I ’d be all over you. -EB. V Ms> Shillellah, Lady Rigatoni & Dame Motzos: Happy Valen tine’s Day & please send brown ies. Love Trish “I ’m going back to bed” and Zoi “I don’t know...I just like ‘em !” V Robbie: I’d still love you even if you were just a head mounted on a metal bar! XO X O * * Jennifer, Another Valentine’s Day without you, but I ’m still hope lessly in love. Come soon, ‘cause I miss you and I think about you all the time. -Zeev. V Francis, you’ve been playing with your stick too long. Get o ff the the ice and into your bed - its been
Valentines
on ice too long. V To my favourite Sesame Street character: I just got this great new idea - L et’s run away! ‘Til stress do us part, C. XXXO O O V Wendy O. - Your dreads send me - Rub my head anytime. K. ^ To Mr. Hogan: You’ve been visiting for quite a while, some times staying a few seconds, other times for over 2 hours. All we have to say is— thank you. Come again. Love Perkie & Jerkie. V You thought it was gone but it has m ysteriously reappeared. Sappy valentines are always in style. * * Pokey: I love you even if you can’t win at backgammon. Love Always, Crazy lady. V To Lizard, Randy & the Virgin, Love Jimmy Bimmy. V Ben, if I was on Three’s Com pany, youcouldbemy Larry. Chris. V Akos, despite your resemblance to Fozzie Bear, I ’m sure you have the passion of a wild animal- The
me,_NROK. You rugby ruffian. V Oh Ed, your belle is mine. Let me see your beaver now. House Fascist. V E: Steal me away to our Hun dred-Acre Woods. E. V Sweet love Moonie, I love the way you shoot...hard and straight.. v tick-tockTurbo tongue, I ’m addicted to you. You’re my veg etables. V To the D.V.: Here’s some gos sip: Someone sent someone a val entine! (No-one knows, so don’t tell anyone.) V T o C h ris“Ig etm y jo llieso u to f hassling other VIA passengers” Alam. Happy V-day and sorry, but you’ll have to get o ff at Brockville. * * Trish. Is anyone else seeing homoerotic overtones in this ex change o f letters? ^ Katie R. You make my toes curl. Chris. ^ B r a d - - Y o u ’re my Anthony Berman. V Jon, I miss your Bagel King’s
V A— I guess Uncle Bill caught you— J * * Ali Maula: Sala-masalapanchod koota kamina Happy V-Day. Love, Sandra Singh * * Skink: God, I want a rug made o f your back hair! ! * * Hogfart, when I speak to you my bowels move! V Hans, brush my teeth with a toothbrush designed by Pokey! * * All I know is that you are in philosophy, you have blond hair, you use the Mac lab and that you make my heart skip. ^ Second West you make my dreams moist. My knees shake and my heart melts when I hear your knock at 3 am. I love all 4 2 o f your personalities. Let me open your doors... Love, Daria. V Nadia: Happy Valentine’s Day - Arnold. * * Dearest Jen: I want you, I need you. You are my sun. Love, G. ^ You know who you are: I ’m in love with you. I think I love you.
girl with the birthday close to yours. ^ Gra-ham, I ’ll go round the world with you, brown belt. ^ Dare i-you burst my pipe at the oddest hours. * * Oh Lorraine, thank you for fulfilling my fantasies. I wish my stamina was equal to my gratifica tion... p.s. I’ve found your jeans. V JP: I dream o f the soft pleasures o f your finger snaps. E B V Joel- everytime I turn my head you are there, and I debate about introducing myself. Until then- I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire burning in me. An admirer. V Henry: I don’t know any other valentine who would travel across the country to be mine. I love you. Pam. V Percival: Yes, we have no Groundhog’s Day mugs. V Alison Korn- I ’m smoking for you- M v AK: No amount o f jargon could dilute your charms. EB V Rob: From your puppy eyes and your homemade dimple to your goofiness and your false but funny belief that you did the pick-up, love you, need you, wan t you .Trish. * * IRU- Your secret’s safe with
sogginess. Love forever. Chuck. V K R :...an d allth at’sbestofdark and light meet in her aspect and in her eyes. E B . ^ R a y S. I'd love to spread tzatziki on your widening gyro—Love Jade V To the SUS Exec: I love you all. Charles. V To Muffy, my favourite ice maiden: you’ve warmed my heart. Love, Mr. Fuzzyhead. V To my favourite Squid: I love you, you tentacled bundle o f joy. You are truly the cephalopod o f my dreams. Yours forever, Tigger. V Vikki: Here’s to partnership. You make the paper purchasing decision, Okay? Looking forward to the next year. Love your napmate Jane. Leah: There are lots o f places to hide in the rooftops across the street. v To Greg and Andrea: Happy VDay! See you around sometime? Rich V Dearest Inna, light o f my life, Goldie, my sunshine for now and forever. A secret admirer V Ode to Wendy. W e wish you a dude/ on this day o f St. Jude [Ed note— St Jude?] But if not, don’t despair/cuz soon we’ll be in Banff
No, I ’m sure. Will I ever hear you say the same? ^ Ali: Don’t ring my bell. Your secret admirer. V Erin, Hee Hee Hee!! Love, Rocco * * To Adonis: Computers are fun, but computers are done. I ’m your honey & I’m the only one. Love always, Venus. V To Max o f the golden tresses: chick o ’ my heart, Floridian prin cess, love your smile! * * Jean: Just call my name... Steven. V Hogfart and Pokey, you know your ja r o f pickles? Guess what I did in it? * * Trish: If I searched the world over... searched it from high to low... I know I ’d never find a more wonderful girlfriend than you. * * To Suzanne & Patrick: Happy V-Day! Prospero Sis * * Sara R. Sorry about telling everyone about the bathroom inci dent! Bruce H. V Mike Murphy: Young teacherthe subject o f schoolgirl fantasy. She wants him so badly, she knows what she wants to hear. Inside her, there’s a longing, this girl’s an open
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page. It’s so close now, this girl is half his age. ^ To our scrumptious, blue-eyed Sethala: we told you not to drink so much in Kingston. Love, Martin & Kevin. ^ Michelle: W e are pretty awe some, aren’t we? Love, your Big Man in Anatomy. V Rich: You’d be even cuter without that hockey haircut, Love Ben and Jane ^ Marco: Like pasta? Whip me with your virga! ! ^ For Un-plain Jane White: you egocentric witch, here’s a Valen tine for you! Love & quiches, Mady. * * To Adonis: Sex is good but you are better. Love always, Venus. * * Paul Johnson: I love you. Love, your secret admirer. V Do it with a Bobk, they always do it right! - Hash. * * To Katie: My one and only roommate - what am I going to do without you? I know, you can come live with me next year! Have a great Valentine’s Day, my friend o f friends! Lots o f love, Sif. ^ D earest Barb, forget all the rest, Europe (with me) is best. Summer to remember in Birks (not the store-they're on the brink o f disaster) and that purple M cGill knapsack. Yours 'till at least July 31... ^ Heather: Here’s to mellower times and a bottle o f wine. Love, Jon. * * Beatriz: Buenos Compleanose gracias me querida. ^ Sunita: I love you. Mara. ^ Chris de Burgh: When I go thru my orgy stage I ’ll invite you. Love, me. ^ Tony: L et’s make a video.... oh... never mind. V Richard: sorry‘bout the T-shirt but i hear it washes out. * * Trish: lasagna, fettucini, ra violi, manicotti, spaghetti nolto si, ma teta, amoure, it’s all German to me. * * Mady: It’s February-Better use your edible underwear or check expiration date, Love Ben & Jane ^ Dear D. & Jack Flandy: I thought I’d take the time to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day... I love you roommates! ! D - you can sing and make lentil soup and JH - you can shower dance anytime! Love ya tons, Burnt Toast V Pablo-Your red hair reminds us o f the flaming desire bwe felt that weekend in Maine. A very happy Valentine’s Day to you. Love, Skinny and Harold. V Suzanne: What’s your favour ite game? - “Leonard” the Snow Angel. ** My Dearest Yaron: Ain li hamilim l ’daber aylecha cama she’ani ohevet o t’cha...Yaysh li mazal ki yaysh li kol y ’ mai hachaim it’ch al’chapesotan.Foreveryours, Princess Nevada B. V Stairmasters: Wishing you a “whole lotta love”. Love, Laila. V Adrian: Welcome to the Starship Tribune. Hope you have some fun here for the rest o f the year. H V Max: Is that down and dirty, or exceptional sex you’d be having? Love Ben & Jane. * To Proma Tagore, Happy Val entine’s. Hey Scrump Bunny! Better get hopping, here comes your Bear.
P age 16
V B ut seriously, Pick a place, I ’ll be the one in the dark coat. v To Edie: why a friend is better than a Valentine: A friend would notice if you spent $75 to do some thing different to your hair! S.M. V To Q.T. & S.M .: Thanx 4 the laffsL.O n Valentine’s Day...4-get @ the 72SÜ E.L. xoxo V Rebecca: How’s a chocolate bar, a pack o f smokes and Monday night TV sound? Love, Mike. V Tamara— you sexy, flamboy ant creature— come on over for lasagna. Love you, Erin. V Pablo: I want to squeeze your ass like a zit!! V Ah, ah, ah, Bunny? Achieve your cabbage & carrot o f joy. V Emily - If you don’t save some tongue for me, there will be no beer for the baby. * * OOOh Mr. Fuzzyhead, how I want to press your person! Love, Muffy. V Ziad: Please. Take me. Deform me, make me ugly. Why not you? Love, your secret admirers, xoxo. ^ R & M up in a tree... Have a happy St-Valentine’s Day! * Joe— Happy Valentines day to the sexiest mon chichi ever. Love Erin V Blue and red make purple. Purple’s my favourite colour. Is this subtle enough for you? Love, your roommate. V Mark: Where did I find you? Under the bridge, or below the Christmas lights - I ’m glad I did... Happy V alentine’s Day, babe, (mush...) Love, Erin. V DearJ.T.H.:-Although my love for you is organic, I’m not free range. * * Stairmasters: Last year, as our Valentine’s Labour o f Love, we eliminated the alarm clock. This year why don ’ t we see if we can get rid o f the Atlantic Ocean so I can come visit?! Miss you all and your shower too. Happy V-Day- Rob Plant. V Katie: The Mohawk brand bar ber kit is ready and waiting for your après vacation hair plans, Love Barber Ben & Hair Care Jane V Adrienne: Missed you in Maine. Seen you in the log steaming cabin o f Vermont. Happy Valentine’s Day! Love, Skinny and Harold. V Joe: inhale my armpit and lick my mattress. Love, Skink. V Arsalaan: You never call us anymore! Love, Mom & Dad. V Alisa girlfriend: you are BAM F! Deryn. V Pablo is red, Adrian is blue, I passed intro, he wished he did too! V To the blone, hold it out, it’s Valentine's Day V To the bartendress who tends in the Alley on Tuesday nights— you are spectacular! V Randy, Fady, and E rica: Kissemmach Sharmoota! Happy Valentine’s Day ex-third floor! Love, Harold. v Adi, Your dreds are the cohe sive factor in my life. Rich * * Oh my love, oh my dahling, I hungerforyourlove.Eeeyrin! Love David. V To my sister’s rightful sister in law, time to dump the tacky long hair, we have nuptials to plan for! V Daria, thanks for keeping those secrets from me. Happy Valen
Valentines tine’s day. Love Harold. V Ho-Sung. Where are you? ^ Mr. Hogan would like to wish a very happy Valentine's day to a very special lady. V David: to my favourite sexy blond snowboarder. Thanks for be ing my best friend. Happy Valen tine’s day! Love, me * * Gerd: If I were gay, I would want you. * * K.R. Maybe a little bit o f dis honesty wouldn’t hurt after all >smile< R.R. * * To Zeina: You brought light into my life, you made me happy when I was sad, you gave me sup port when I had none, you made me love the spirit in you — From Thursdays ^ T o p h e— we’ll play in the V formation on the 14th. Con tinue m aking love and lint the way only you do it. V Kristen— the woman who k isse s on the lips— Love Jen V M innie— with lots and lots of lo v e— Mickey V Beautiful A. G illis. T o be come your be loved would fill my dreams V M onm ec.Tu me m anques beaucoup et je suis très impa tient d’etre avec to i. Tu es l ’amour de ma vie. Je t ’aim e mon amour. Ta petite Z ** M artine: Thanks for tak ing such good care o f me! Happy V alen tin e ’ s D ay. Stanley V ToUnivaffa: I wuv the huperson that you are. Love RPL ^ Dunes! 401! Clubhouse! KCar! Open door! Closed door! V Rm 210 and 207 Solin H a ll. . . Sorry about the stains V Ron, you used to be the King o f Spain, but now you just eat green eggs and ham. Thanks for being a friend. Der. * * To the one and only honey bunny. Here’s subscribing myself as being P.L.C. Luv the other half V Skink, sorry about the T-shirt of love! v Sleep-deprived Alison: W el come to Hotel Tribune, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. Love Ben & Jane. ^ Hogfart and Pokey . . . I love your sacs! Love Knobby V Hans— Hooooo Hooooo! V Corey: imagine you, me, naked, locked in a bank vault. V Rocco, I ’ve missed you these past few days. Can’t wait until our weekend to give you an amazing birthday present. Love and much
more, Menina. v Daria-Blé, I love you-------re member riding on the broomstick, and dancing on the balcony in box ers forever. Love Erin B lé V Yvette, you make my heart go loopy loop. ^ Joe, skink dance for me! Joe you sweat, Skink, you stink. V Joe: come boil my tea! V Q: I’m certain I ’ll remember the steps. And I know just the right music (unless you’ve thrown it out!) So what are the chances o f me getting the last dance, Ja ck ie Decker? Happy V-Day, I miss you. Love, R. Plant. V Aubrey:If you don’t stop your
unnecessary (vocal) noise pollu tion during production you’ll get radishes again for Christmas. Love Ben & Jane. V Dear C h ick ie -I’m leaving you this weekend so you have an empty apartment, don’t waste this oppor tunity! And you know what I’ll think if you choose to get a dog this weekend! Have a happy V-day. Love, your bitchy roommate. V R D S- love donut- love booklove spittle- love you. Jo XO XO XO V Q: may our love grow like an avocado plant! v Dear Olivier C.: I need you close to me more than ever. J.P. ^ Love y ’allattheTrib.Thanks for another fantastic year. ^ To Steph: Happy Valentine’s Day friend! Don’t forget those of us over on the east side. Lots of love, Sif. V Dear Antonella L.: I love you and that’s as simple as it gets. J.P. ^ J. Rig: Cheers to big ears. Love, N.D. * * Markaki, Happy hunting the last o f the Mohawks and welcome
The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
to political awareness. Looking for ward to studying for 201? ^ Dear Cecilia, I love you with all my heart, and always will. Happy Valentine’s Day. Harold * * Joe, Mark, Gord, Marco, Tony, Jimmy, Guré, Carolyn, Rebecca, Christa, Pablo: Happy Valentine’s Day to the boys and girls in the picture! Love forever, Adrian! * * Cross-Country Cathy, I ’ve been watching you run around the track too long! Would you be my valen tine? Signed, a friendly admirer. ^ Rocco, el futur presidentewanna boff on the conference ta ble? Love, Menina * * Doris: We think you’re deluxe. L o v e B en & Jane * * Evelyn, if I was a hot dog, I’d like you to be my bun Love, your se cret admirer. V Erin: can d les, X -m as lig h ts ,... I ’ ll never be the sam e. L o v e, Mark ** Jo e : you need a big, fat, w et, slimy, greasy kiss! ^ Skink: your odor turns me on! V Y v e tte: Thank you for not only being so great, but for putting up with my silliness. V D aria is squishy and I think she is nice! D ave is ** squishy and I think he is nice! ^ T on y, M a rco , and Gerd a ll are squishy and I like them! * * Pablo, you are sm oothvon-boooth! V A J R- 1 love you so much that I ’ll be Donna and vou can be Brenda. * * To the V P ’s Finance and Inter nal: how far must we go to get you to notice us? You ignore our notes, phone calls, flowers, and even the strip-o-grams that Je ff Percival was kind enough to provide. Please meet us at the Lambada club On Valen tine’s day, at 5pm, for Cabbage rolls and coffee. Bring the Garden Weasel. Two guys, one not so lit tle. * * Bronwen: Happy Valentine’s Day to my favourite person study ing to become a woman! Man in the shower V To our excellent news writers: You are, well, excellent. Hope you get some Valentine Nookie. Love Jane & Ben. ^ To Jen- Happy St. Jude’s Day buddy- I love you inexpressably. Love Der. * * Holly Hobby: Oh, oh my little Suzie Q./ How, how I miss you/ And, o f course, Renalyd too/ How I wish the fun could start anew?
And the chicken again soar in the sky so blue/Oh, oh, my little Suzie Q./Happy V-Day from you-knowwho. * * J.M .S.D . the 1st: I ’m looking forward to spending Valentine’s day with you. I love you. Babe V Sunil, Janum Jane Jigar... Love, Evil V To all goddesses on 6th Floor: happy god damn god forsaken Valentine’s Day. V Kirsten Myers, the biggest babe behind the Sadie’s counter: I wuv you, ya appel o ’ ma eye. UNOWHO V Eddeur- you are my Goddess90210 lives! Your NTC partner V Kathleen; oh, to touch your tongue again! A V Patrick, You Rock my worldAnna ^ Jason , Ja k e , R oss, M ike, Stephan, Jeff-Je ez ! Youguysgota lot o f problems ! So... Happy Val entine’s Day! Harold V Protti: V afanculo! I let vou win the arm wrestle. V Adrienne: Happy Valentine’s Day! Arnold K. * * PIPS, you destroy me. Your so good for me. Love your secret ad mirers. XO XO * * Seok, You’re my partner in gluttony and flatulence. Always, Pampers. * * To my little library nerd - Shall we go explore the intricacies o f the McGill library system together? Lots of love, S. V To Christopher P.: Though your world is far from mine, and you surely havea Valentine, when ever I see you, time with thess I would like to accrue. To Silence I will be bound if you sport the tie you found. * * Sebas - 2 Big 4 u - You are my favourite engineer, what about Thursday night for our next “meeting” ... C.G. Summer ’90. * * Ben: Now I understand the true meaning o f symbiotic, when do we get our real lives back? You’re my fave. Love and fondling, Jane. Katherine the Great: Few are your equal in slaughtering peas ants. InDominatrixing,nonecome close. You rule your lands wisely and virtuously. Though there do seem to bea curious surfeit o f gy naecological colleges there. GROS CAMION! Ever & anon, Indiana Orwell. V Don’t “stop in the name o f love”, get started! Show that nice boy your stuff, woman. V Millen: Hiya handsome. W ill you accept a collect phone call from Brant? ^ To Kristina: Violets are blue, Roses are red, Enough o f this non sense, L et’s go to bed ! Love, Y our Buddy. * * You-Go: I have to put up with you, too bad for me ... Kisses. M Monique: Next year is the big year. Valentine’s on a Monday! Hang on - we’re almost there. In the meantime, how can I sign a nomination form inabsentia? Scott V President Martin: what an executive you are! Whatastudent! What a man! Love, your Public Relations Guy. v Dearest Em ily-A re you naked? “She walks in beauty 1ike the night” K. V Lev: Boris & I are waiting for your Valentine’s budgets. They
Valentines
The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
should have been in boxes three days ago! The Russian Folk Music Society is scared shitless! Com rade Scott V Para Pablo: Just a friendly Valentine for an attractive amigo o f mine. I ’m feliz you have come to Montreal. It makes my day when I see you in the hall. ^ Rich, What to say after all these years? Love Jen. * * Rebecca Tarbotton: You are tall, sensuous and sexy. I crave you. Love S.M. V S. Pape-Heavy weight men know how to “row” with long, pow erful strokes, but we can go even harder when you cox us. You may be the best coxy we’ve ever had, but can you row hard too? Your crew Schtruedal, ja. Happy V-Day Love Kev V Happy V-Day To Stacie, Naid, Kim and Heidi. C.S. V Sums, you’ll always be the product o f my multiplying love. Kev V Zaza and the Ali-Cat, thanks for being there when weneed you most. Snuggles and purrs from M and L. V Dearest Helene M— we love you, you know. Trib staff V Brenda— Hey gorgeous! Wanna run naked sometime? Hope you’re free on V - Day. PS B ring your track shoes. Your not-so-secrct admirer * * To Julie the Felcher: I wanted to, I tried, but I just couldn’t do it. There, are you happy now? I guess that’s what they said about the Vel veteen rabbit! Love, a 90120 non fan. V To Stavros, I love your greasy hair! Your brother George makes me moist.... call me., from your your favourite big girl.. V Bambicki- the secret lives on, brother! Benjamin and Magwy. * * To Isaac: We just met, but you bet...I want to meet again. Love Wendy. V Helen: To a woman with spe cial insight. Thanks. Love, Jen. V Cynthia Reynolds: I really en joyed our dance floor foray. V Dear Dani, you are the North face of my Eiger: Your number one buddy/man without hardware. M.P. V Hey babe! (2,326 miles away) Looking forward to the days when we can be together ‘atlast’...andan end to an ‘unclear-on-the-concept’ and telephones. I love you always, -OLGS V Steph H. Sometimes I think you are me, or is it that I am you? K V To K T, you are perfect, I love you. From Wickedness. ^ M oniqueS.-1 love how radical you are. Chris. ** O ooh baby. I see you aerobicizing: step, step, step. We have aerobicized before, together, and we will hopefully aerobicize in the future! ** My dearest Cari, everyone knows, men are jerks. But forgive me for everything... you can Belay me any time. Your trying rock climber; love mike/huck. V My beloved Peens and Jerky: Hoping someone tall, dark, hand some and progressive ‘serenades’ you (short-short-long) on Valen tine's Day! Hugs and K isses, Bradley. ^ Chris A., your neo-conservative ramblings put you solidly in the minority. With an anus that
tight, who could widen your gyre? V Dear Naud God: your dwarf like stature turns me on. Destiny awaits us. Snow White. V CA.: No, bite me. V Dear Justin Raymond: you won’t know if you like it, unless you try it.-man pierre V Thank-you, Moon-man ; A l ways, Desire. V R o s -I’m gladitcanbethisw ay. Count on me...Gerome. V To Kate and Allie: I love you both, I can’tdecide, so I can’tcom fort either o f you with my feelings. I guess I’ll just stay in your TV. Luke. v Hi sweetie. Stanley says a big hi and misses you. M.G. V Katie-You are perfect. Cheese cak e and Northern E xp o su re anytime. Paul. V Francine, you’re the greatest. * * Kelly Kelly B o Belly Kelly Kelly K -E -L -L -Y . Love you lots! V Tan, Can’tw aittil my massage! I love you— the King o f Pop (ha
love you and I ’ve done tons of laundry (GAW) V Emma— are you aware that the curly locks hanging in your face drive me MAD with desire? v Popcoms-Tuesdays Leacock lobby, 1-5, ideal for Valentine's Day V Dan— I can’t stop thinking about your blue hair— edi t me ** Dear Jake, your auburn wings make me sizzle, Write your L S AT on my stomach, always waiting V To Katie R. Marlys wrote me a letter saying you are the most won derful, beautiful, goddess-like hu man being o f life. Marlys is as smart as me. Love, Steph. V JSG : Whither you go, I shall go with thee; whither I go, thou shalt come with me. V Lizard, you are sensuous! A l ways, Protti. P.S. Acid-wash be comes you. V Chris— I know beneath that hard conservative (sorry— Reform Party) exterior, lies a warm, sensi
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cutest production editor— K T ^ OK— Doris, you are our cutest production editor— Chris V Roberto— I love you more. Mah. Yawn. Oops, mah again. V Max: share your womanhood with the world. Chris ^ Joseph: Oh to be the belle on your velvety bottoms. Ajay ^ You thought it was gone but it has m ysteriously reappeared. Sappy valentines are always in style. FU G G Y (Tiff): I lust after you and crave you immensely. You know who. V Ethan— we both think you’re amazing— don’t worry— K and M . V Dear Chris: Let’s ditch our respective girlfriends, elope to New York, and die in a suicide pact full o f insecticides and weed-be-gone. ^ Stairmasters, Thanks for all the great times and friendship— love Jen V To Ozzy, Eustache, Alice and Dr. R.: Roses are red, violets are
« *£ § W Ç "»
ha) v Hey Pete, Justw aituntilSept.4. Despite all your difficulties 1 love U (just kidding) Sweet P * * To all the men in my life: Bash, Moe, Mac, Near, Jess, Kee— it’s a good thing we’re not the jealous types! Love AC and angy V Stairmasters: It’s Valentines and I ’m single— what’s up with that? See you at the Princess Bride, love R. v Begonia: happy Valentine’s day to my spouse! love la Reine, v Sean: Can I direct you to the Union building again?R. G .R.— I
tive-yet-manly heart. Just because there’s no proof o f it doesn’t mean its not there. V Les autres belles de l ’Esplanade, I love you too. Chris V Kate G. Je parle français aussi! Petit Christophe V To our little Zoi an Valentines Day. B e ours! LoveOlivier, Shelley and Trish. V Ju le s ; C ongrats on your Bowleramaprowess. Love, the bal let boy. V Aubrey— You are our cutest production editor— Chris ^ Doris— I think YO U are our
blue, I love chickens and I know you guys do too! Love Jennifer (I’m in debt to all o f you for help ing me) Wilshire Joseph: Oh to be the belle on your velvety bottoms. Ajay V Robson: Since swapping spit with you in December, my sexual ity has been in turmoil. I crave you immensely. You know who. V To Julia H: Where the hell have you been all year? Seen any pi geons lately? Love, Rich. V To those stairmasters— love those stairmasters— Rich ^ Happy Valentines Day to my
ERRATUM
Last week, in an article entitled "Charity puts on its dancing shoes," The T r ib u n e incorrectly explained ticket information for the volunteer bureau's charity ball. The correct information is as follows: THERE ARE 180 TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SADIES, STARTING ON FEBRUARY 8. RAFFLE TICKETS WILL ALSO BE ON SALE FOR $5 A PIECE AT SADIES — THE MONEY RAISED WILL GO ENTIRELY TO MCGILL S COMPREHENSIVE CANCER CENTRE. PRIZES INCLUDE T.V., MODEM, PLANE TICKET, RADIO,...AND MORE.
The
T r ib u n e
regrets any inconvenience caused by this error.______
big brown bear. Love your Italian stallion ^ eGure eyou eare ean ebasque epieceeofeshit! Zorionak! (I don’t know how to say Happy Valen tines in Basque) * * Love and chickens to Dale, Esther, Alix, Polly, Tamara!! Love Jennifer Wilshire * * Erin, leave Mark and come to Spain with me. I can’t bear to be without you. I love you more and my toothbrush will be in your bath room longer. Love blé. * * To Conor - Although you al ways try to hide from me/From my gaze you will never break free/ By candlelight we must dine/ For you are my Valentine. V To J.G . in G: Love will tear us apart/ Tran sm ission / No: TBTHOL/ The perfect kiss/ Sub culture * * Adrian S. Happy Valentine’s Day! Good luck— love Roomie V To Q and E: Why a friend is better than a Valentine. A friend would never call you 10 minutes before the time she is supposed to pick you up to tell you that “I have to cancel our date babe-My friend got 2 tickets for the BIG G A M E !” Not Angry? S. V To Pooh Bear— I love you more and more each day— love Tigger * * To Cutie: why a friend is better than a Valentine: A friend would never ask, before deciding what movie you are going to see, “Who is in it and is she naked?” Sophie ^ Happy Valentine's Day to Mari nade. From one fish to another. V Emma Victoria Cutney, dream on. v N icolas and N icole— your names rhyme (sort of) and we love you — R and M ^ To Royal— we love you and can’t live with the idea that you won’tb eth erefo rth en ext2y ears! Sniff. The Twins V Chris: I hate radishes, but I’ll try to avoid foods o f love in the office. AGK. V Eileen, my darling— You bring meaning to an otherwise barren meaningless existence. I long for you— Phil V To Sophie and Edie— my favorite schemers— Because al though fate is on our side, nothing in life happens purely by chance. Happy Valentines my sweeties. Q.T. V Andrea— as a V-Day treat I ’m going to cook up Andre the land lord and serve him to you. Your roomie xoxo V Himel— how elusive is good sex? Stru d el— ich b eein das Valentiner, jah. (Ed note— can’t do squares and cubes on this key board— sorry) Love a MUGS geek V T o M .S .— I don’t think I could like you any better— even if you didn’t sleep diagonally. Love DC o G uurdisam afoosandM arcois a SIPOS! ^ TO R B because I think you’re the best— ( I think so anyway) V A wonderful V-Day with hugs and kisses, for Tyrone and Jay v Ben and Jane: stop burping in my face.Lovingly screamed on a Monday by AUB. V Leon, I’ll love you forever with all my heart. Catherine
P age 18
The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
En tertain m en t C a n a d a ’s L it t le D a r lin g s P la y th e S h a t n e r B a llro o m B Y S T E V E M O F F IT T Spirit o f the W est played to a sold-out Shatner Ballroom last Saturday. After a team o f New foundland cod packers crammed the last o f the audience members into the ballroom, the opening band jumped into action. Bare Bones is a Montreal country and rock duo consisting o f a tiny dancing nymph o f a vocalist and an Irish beatnik lead guitarist. If the group’s act was specifically engineered to make the audience point and giggle, the pair succeed brilliantly. For an hour the vocal ist skipped about and chirped lit tle ditties which she assured the audience were “raunchy”, whilst the beatnik grimaced and plucked at his guitar. Then, after one last rauncheriffic number, the beatnik fell over and they left. As SO TW took the stage, the excited crowd pressed forward, inadvertently folding the front row o f the audience over the guard rail. John Mann, the band’s lead vocalist-guitarist cooled things down temporarily by asking the crowd to take a few steps back Unfortunately, the band began their set with the political, and p erh ap s to o d a n ca b le “W reckingball”. As Mann uttered the words “The last dance will be a slam-dance”, the audience be gan moshing like mountain goats
in mating season. T he crow d never really calmed down after that, nor did they have reason to. I blushed quietly to m yself as I recalled my si lly c o n c e rn th at the band wouldn’t be able to pull o ff their old songs in their new-found style. Some purists may bitch, but as the band played stro n g er, m ore pointed renditions o f old standbys such as “Profiteers”, “An Honest G am ble” and “ Darkhouse”, it became apparent that this new, hard-edged style was a sound that better communicated their strong political views. And still, their endearing Celtic flavour remains intact. The concert was an incred ible collection o f old drinking favorites and political songs. Spirit o f the W est addressed their politi cal views with such offerings as “D For Democracy” a song criti cizing the self-interest and broken promises o f elected politicians, and the yet-to-be-recorded “Ven ice” which urges that artistic in terpretations o f the human body (specifically a statue o f a little man with an erection on a horse) are not pornographic. The band’s environmental concerns were also voiced through the two favorites “ Dirty P oo l” and “Save This House”. Spirit o f theW est are not a changed band, they are simply a
band who have evolved into a powerful, efficient satire machine. V o c a lis t and p e rc u s s io n is t G eoffrey K elly still plays the bodran, John Mann still stares wildly into the audience, and Vince doesn’t always bang on the drums. They’re not ju st any rock band, they are a Celtic-rock band, like The Pogues, only Spirit o f the W est have better teeth and don’t pass out on stage. After the show I slipped backstage to chat with the band. T rib u n e : Being a Canadian band known for speaking out about the “Canadian Experience”, how do you feel about some nameless Canadian artists who sign with big name American record labels? G eoffrey: As a musician I’d like to see more Canadian art ists take a stab at building them selves up abroad, and not waiting so long for the big, big American record contracts. W e ’ve built our career up in Great Britain by do ing eight tours with The Wonder Stuff, and all those things hap pened before we really had a big record label. I guess we need to see more and more [Canadians] try to establish themselves. T r i b u n e : D o you fe e l there’s a bright future for the Ca nadian music industry? G eoffrey: I hope so. I was talking with Nigel Bust, who’s the manager o f the Barenaked
Ladies, and he was saying that he read in some big British paper that they felt the next wave in popular music was going to come from Canada. I think that’s pretty en couraging. Tribune: Howmuchdoyou feel our heritage plays a part in being Canadian? G eoffrey: I think heritage is incredibly important to making up your character. W e often talk about people ’ s character and what sort o f fibre they’re made of. If you co m e from Sco tla n d or Czechoslovakia or whatever, it works its way into your character, and that’s a big part o f being Ca nadian. Many Canadians often have dual citizenship, or they have parents or grandparents who are from another country, and I think because we as a country and as a band have such a connection with Great Britain that its a big part of beingCanadian and o f being Spirit o f the West. V ince: I think there’s very few o f us whose family has been here for more than two or three generations. T rib u n e: When do you ex pect to record your next album? G eoffrey: W ell, right now, w e’re working very hard on com piling all the songs. I ’d say we have upwards o f 15 right now, so we have more than w e’ve usually had to make the record. I think this
time w e’ ll end up with probably close to 20 songs if we get to see all the ideas all the way through. As for an exact date as to when it’ 11be released, I just don’t know. T rib u n e: How much o f the reasoning behind doing a retro spective tour was a response to the backlash o f the purists saying “W hat’s with this electric stuff? W hat’s with the drummer?” V in ce: It’s not so much that as it is that the people request a lot o f old songs. G eoffrey:Y eah , w e’ve got at least 60 songs; that’s the prob lem. V ince: So this gives us a chance to play the songs that the people want to hear, plus try out a couple o f new ones and see how they’re working out. T ribun e: One last question: John, why do you give the audi ence that mad, glassy stare? Jo h n : Oh Christ, do I do that? I didn’t know I did that. G e o ffre y : H e’s very in tense. Jo h n : Yeah, I guess that’s it. It’s just my singer-face. You know how bass players have bassface, I guess it’s ju st my singerface. T r i b u n e : O kay. Thanks a lot, guys. S O T W : Good night. Yeah, thanks, (grunt), Good night.
T h e R a g s a n d th e B o x BY A LEX USHER A nother installm ent in an o c ca sio n a l series o f m edia analy ses. It’s hard not to have mixed feelings about this whole M irror vs. H our business. Competition in M ontreal’s troubled alternative scene seems to inevitably lead to trouble. The Paris opened; theRialto closed. Does the appearance of Hour presage the same fate for the Mir ro r? For years, the M irror has been the last refuge o f Daily editors who don’t want to leave Montreal. Though it began life as a collective eight years ago, commercial pres sures have radically changed it from a muckracking journal to an enter tainment-based tabloid. Gone are the halcyon days of investigative feature reporting. Gone too are the great writers like David Shannon, whose Out In the City column was easily the best-written commentary this city has seen in the last five years. These days, the M irror’s news section is pretty much con fined to routine establishm ent bashing, while its entertainment section , headed by the obnoxious
duo of Steve Kokker and Gaétan Charlebois, just bashes those who aren’t bashing the establishment. In fact, the only reasons most people still read the M irror are Ask Cecil, Life in Hell and the ever-entertain ing personals. One would think that the M irror's growing dreariness might make everyone welcome a change. But there’s something not altogether right about Hour. Maybe it’s the disingenuous claim s o f its publisher, Pierre Paquet. First he tries to buy the M irror, then he says there’s room for two alternative mags in town. Paquet also said he’d be aiming his product more at the ‘burbs than at the M irror's downtown stomping grounds, and hired Peter Wheeland, a suburban newspaper editor, as his top new staffer to prove it. Yet H our's news and entertainment coverage seem s unabashedly downtown-ish. Even in layout, Hour is shadowing the M irror. Make no mistake; only one of these papers is meant to come out of this scrap alive. So, what is H our offering that’s different? On the plus side, its entertainment section is larger and more diverse than the M irror’s.
Though distinctly less polished in style than the M irror, H our readers will have the privilege of not hav ing to put up with Gaétan Charlebois’ obnoxious whining. (Memo to Charlebois: You want guerilla theatre? Try Peru.) It’s difficult to evaluate the news section after only one outing, but it is refreshing to see that, unlike the Mirror, H our won’t be relying on just two writers to produce a full week’s worth of news. One distinct minus on the news front, however, is H o u r's ch o ice o f A lbert N erenberg as a colum nist. Nerenberg has many talents as a journalist and a film-maker. As a columnist, however, he is as grating as a Madonna interview and even less interesting. Remember the three weeks he spent in the G azette last year talking about Ramen Noodles? Enough said. In sum, this is going to be a tough battle. On the limited evi dence of its premiere issue, a section-by-section analysis would seem to put H our ahead o f the Mirror. Then again, since Ask Cecil, Life in Hell and the personals are the Mir ror's big draws anyway, the new comer’s strengths may do little to dent the champ’s readership.
Rendez-v du cifiém
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ridging M o n tr e a l's cu ltu ra l d ivid e w ith T h e a tre 171
Restaurants yp tn sm o te
Surrealists’ sexual research
Arm enian m usic thrives in town
M utating the dance to
The KcQll Tribune. February 9-15,1993
Page 19
Entertainment
S a l m o n b e r r i e s ; t h e e m o t io n a l b a g s a r e p a c k e d B Y M IK A B A R E K E T With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, what could be more appropriate than a movie about unre quited love? Salmonberries, the latest offering from Percy Adlon, the director ofBagdad Cafe, is one such film. In recent years we have been given three vastly dif ferent types of female-cen tred movie genres to choose from. Type A, the most popular and most offensive is the one in which a psy chotic, but lustful woman lures men into her bed and attempts to terrorize them. The Temp appears to be the most recent Type A film. The second type shows a group of women from varying gen erations who convene every so often to sip tea and cry. Such sap as Steel Magnolias is typical Type B. The last type boasts a couple of guntoting male-haters who es cape the confines of their dull lives by means of a road trip. Leaving Normal is an exam ple of a Type C movie. While all of these movies attempt to show an alternate lifestyle for women, they are so idealized that they avoid reality and give women very little with which to relate. S a lm o n b erries presents women in an honest and much less contrived light. Salmonberries is set in Alaska, circa 1989. In it, an older German woman played by Rosel Zech runs the town library. She is confronted by Kotsebue, a young woman who she mistakes for a man.
played by Lawrence Welkfan k.d. lang. Kotsebue re quests the help of the librar ian in finding her real parents. It is not until the icy librarian warms up to the genuine Kotsebue, that she can offer assistance. As they become more involved with each other’s emotional bag gage, their friendship deepens and Kotsebue finds herself falling in love with the apparantly heterosexual li brarian. There are no fancy plottwists or imposing moral lessons in Salm onberries. While it could be labelled ‘alternative’, it does remain unpretentious. Certain as pects of the film, for example the character Bingo Chuck played by Chuck Connors, and the few dream sequences do render it somewhat Lynchesque, but for all in tents and purposes there is nothing silly or flippant about this movie.
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While drawing parallels between Kotsebue’ s reunification with her family and the reunification of Ger many, Salmonberries avoids dwelling on this side-plot and deals primarily with the re lationship between two fe male outcasts. The simplicity of the narrative gives the film an innocent quality as well as putting the emphasis on the many themes, including androgeny, alienation, ho mosexuality and rejection. Everything about Salmonberries is engrossing. From the earnest portayals of both women by lang and Zeck, to the eye-catching cinematogrophy, there is never a dull moment in what would seem to be a slow paced movie. Most impres sive is the soudtrack which contains all but two pieces, played repetitively. One piece is a violin sonata by Beethoven, the other, a haunting vocal called “I’ll
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The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
Entertainment
Page 2 0
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antly surprised at how much he has changed. Instead of greeting her with harsh words and violence, he is passion
B Y JE N N B R A D L E Y People are pretty excited about Sommersby, the new movie with Richard Gere
S om m ersby
may not be her husband at all. No one in the town wants to believe Jack is other
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plantation that uses the la bour of townspeople, black and white alike. The war has apparently taught him the
{P retty W om an, F in a l Analysis) and Jodie Foster (The Accused, Silence o f the Lambs) and with good rea son. S o m m ersb y is not
merely a showcase for two fine-looking actors, it is a compelling tale of love, hon our and a renewed faith in humanity. Set in post-Civil War Tennessee, the aptly-titled Som m ersby follows Jack Sommersby (Richard Gere) as he returns from a mysteri ous absence two years after the war. He greets members of the impoverished town on his way to a reunion with his wife Laurel (Jodie Foster) and the young son he has never met. He has been gone so long that his own dog growls at him, but his return is a relief to Laurel, who is pleas
T h e e n d of a n a t io n a l in q u ir y * H o lly w o o d 's tw o m o st "outed" in bed to g e th e r.
ate and loving. Laurel is drunk on his attentions and decides to ignore small hints that Jack
than who he says he is. As part of his plan to revitalize the town, he sets up a tobacco
value of hard work, respect for others, and most of all, his marriage and love for his wife
o r t h
s e e i n g
and family. The original Jack Sommersby who never showed his feelings for Lau rel, never mind for his slaves, is suddenly a paragon of race relations in post-civil war Tennessee. Sommersby is based on the film The Return o f M ar tin G uerre, an account of the two trials of a 15th century French peasant by the same name. For those who were worried that any movie star ring Richard Gere has poten tial for serious saccharine romance, there is some con solation in the fact that the movie is based on a true story. Sommersby is far from a Pretty Woman reincarnation. To her credit, Jodie Foster has so far proven as tute in her choice of roles. In Som m ersby, she plays a woman who has a strong sense of self. Foster explained her attraction to Laurel was the Victorian setting in which women traditionally had lit tle fulfillment. This role is paralleled to a certain degree by another character Foster played in the 1992 release Shocked in that both women act in their own self-interest. Director Jon Amiel {Queen o f Hearts, Tune in Tomorrow) has the movie set
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SSMU A ctivities Night C h air is responsible for: 1) organising the semi-annual Activities Night that takes place at the beginning of September and again at the beginning of January; 2) The Chair coordinates all SSMU accredited groups in order that they may meet and recruit new members while letting the McGill student community know what their group or club is about. SSMU F ro sh C h a ir is responsible for: 1) organising two frosh programs, one to take place at the beginning of September and the other in early January; 2) Frosh Chair must be in Montreal for most of the summer; 3) Frosh Chair is also responsible for all interviews o f Frosh Group Leaders which should be done before the winter semester is over. SSMU W elcom e W eek C h air is responsible for: 1) Organising and planning the annual two week Welcome Week held in early September; 2) Responsible for all the day to day operations o f Welcome Week; 3) Chair must be here during the summer months, and a stipend for the summer months will be given. SSMU O pen Air Pub C h air is responsible for: 1) organising and planning the Open Air Pub barbeque operations for the first three wekks o f the academic year; 2) must be able to oversee a large group o f volunteers, and 3) must be in Montreal for the summer months. SSMU B lood D rive C h air is responsible for: 1) organising and supervising the five day Blood Drive in cooperation with the Canadian Red Cross in September. SSMU C u lturefest C h a ir is responsible for: 1) coordinating and planning the annual SSMU international cultural celebration that will take place in early October. Student's S o cie ty P rog ram m in g O ffice M anager will responsible mainly for: 1) the smooth running of the SSMU Programming office; 2) record keeper and helps with communication.
in the town of Vine Hill which was built entirely around the house on a historic site in Virginia. Only Hollywood could obtain permission to dig in George Washington National Forest where an ar chaeologist had to be present to assess whether or not a 9000 year old site was being dug up. Sommersby is standard “Hollywood”; however, the story is intriguing and Gere and Foster work surprisingly well together. The movie’s greatest attribute is the twist at the end. Sommersby rates 7 out o f 8 bucks. i DONT WAIT ANY LONGER, CALL THE...
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The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
Entertainment L e a v e
B e w a re o f th e
i t a lo n e , H o lly w o o d ; T h e
V a n is h in g
ads of F e b ru a ry IfT m c e rta in o f one thing, it is this: w hoever invented V alentine’s Day was not a C a nadian. For the day o f unbridled passion, invitro-roses and fiery L il’ Red Hots to fall above the forty-ninth parallel in the midst o f the February Blues is sheer lunacy. Such pre-M arch mad ness is enough to try the bonds o f the most covalent o f rela tionships. Nonetheless for singles and couples alike, M ontreal’s slic k sid ew alks and slushy streets are conducive to the in vention o f ways to keep warm. It is unfortunate that this as o f yet unwritten Kanuck Kam a Sutra includes C h a p ter3 - F ly S ou th . It is no coincidence last week that the package holiday booth was adjacent to the V al entines booth in the W ill Shat lobby. Both activities involve needless anxiety. If none o f the valentines on pages 14-17 are addressed to you don’t fret. I f the truth be known, most o f these free m es sages on the centre spread are in-jokes written by the editorial board o f the M cG ill Reporter. Tired o f being snubbed by the campus readership these jaded newshounds have sabotaged the box. I f you play them back wards, the hellish message is “tell your parents you’re going to study primitive cultures.” Tragic muse; at this time o f year even the palest mime dreams o f a cocoa-butter tan. Even the m ost sober under graduates throw care and money into the tropical breeze and signs up for five daze/four nites. Only the downtown tundra o f M on treal could make videotape o f “ u n d e rw a te r-b e e r-b o n g in g ” exclusively in hazy Daytona at tractive. T ru ly , the le n g th s to which package planners will go to sell sunny Acapulco arc out rageous. One such package on sale in W ill Shat this week o f fers a complementary itinerary to all who sign up. Imagine
w a s b e tte r th e
BY KATIE ROBSON
BABBLEON B Y KA TE G IB B S signing up for aquabics only to be told when and where to par ticipate. In all honesty, sign up and I ’ll make fun o f you, but sign up, be prudent o f hidden costs, and com e back healthier than Jennie Garth, I ’ll be jealous. Those hidden costs are a bummer. I f your package includes free drinks, make sure you get a glass without having to pay more for it. Likew ise, if scuba lessons are free take full advan tage but beware: the air in your tanks could run as high as 50 more bucks. No one needs to learn you can’t get something for nothing, not in Acapulco, not in Montreal, and not on V alentine’s Day. The ad campaign Laura Secord is currently running in the hopes o f selling pounds o f foil-wrapped chocolate hearts defies this rule unabashedly. The slogan “to get one o f these”, accompanied by a lipstick kiss is follow ed by “give one o f these”, the cue to display an assortmentof mouth-wateringly yummy chocolates. The ad en courages all lovers o f women to expect a display o f affection in return for a gift. Requiring no degree in s e m io tic s , th e re s u ltin g accessibility o f this m essage echoes the statistics on dating abuse released this past M on day. O f 1,835 women polled nationally, 51 per cent purported to have experienced psycho logical abuse. 20 per cent re corded they have been pushed, grabbed , or shoved by “dates”. Anxieties ran high this time o f year. February is an awful month. W omen and men, beware o f hidden costs. My affections c a n ’t be bought, glazed or truffled (al though Chris, it wouldn’t hurt to try).
The Vanishing is a Hol lywood (very Hollywood) remake of the 1988 Dutch psychological thriller Spoorloos. The same man— George Sluizer— directed both movies. So, one would hope that he would use the second film as a springboard and throw himself (and his cast) even deeper into the maze of psychological complexity and obsession that Spo orlo os explored. Unfortunately, yet predict ably, this does not happen. What we have instead is a superficially compel ling, undeniably profes sional film product. The plot runs parallel to that of the original, with only a few major changes. First, we meet Barney, a nightmare of a science teacher with a peculiar accent and an anally retentive way of walking (along with the D.J. in the F ish er K ing, this role should ensure that Jeff Bridges keeps the Bad Hair charac ter market cornered). In fact, his hair is distracting; its acting is better than his. Next, we meet Jeff and Diane, two American kids growing up in the heart land (oh, sorry). There’s a poten tially interesting power dy namic going on in the rela tionship, that is left basi cally untouched by Sluizer. Diane loves Jeff, Jeff loves Diane, or does he? Who knows? All we can see is that when she disappears at a gas station he goes off the deep end. Kiefer Sutherland, who plays Jeff, runs the full
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fir s t tim e
Single White F em a le, The H and that Rocks the C ra dle, etc., etc., etc.
lationship between Barney and his family could be a gold mine for a director in terested in dealing with the nuclear family as dysfunctional/archaic unit. Sluizer walks away from it. And what about the ending? Without giving too much away, the part when the aliens come and spirit Barney off is just too much. (Actually, this doesn’t hap pen. What actually does hap pen is equally as banal, but as I said, I dont want to give away the ending.)
The one big problem with Ritafc character is that her presence introduces the gender wild card, and Sluizer obviously doesn't know how to play it. She's the only character with any strength, with any heart, with any passion. That should mean something— but in this movie, it doesn't. There are other angles that Sluizer refuses to ex plore. For example, the re
And so, The Vanishing, which should deal with any number of interesting issues, ends up as a string of failed connections and missed op portunities. This is what hap pens when the only angle the filmmakers want to ex plore is one thats 180 de grees and at the bottom of a balance sheet. The Vanishing is 60 per cent of a Spoorloos.
gamut of Parkerian emo tions from A to B— he never makes that connection be tween his character and Barney that is essential. In any case, Jeffs ob sessive quest is interrupted (or is it?) by the arrival of Rita, who is played by Nancy Travis. This charac ter is the one really good thing about this movie; she's strong, she’s funny, and she doesn't turn psychotic â la
Scholarships for graduate studies towards a Master's Degree Program in housing FOR THE 1993-1994 ACADEMIC YEAR Individual scholarships of up to $14,154 each for graduate studies in housing are awaided by Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation (CMHC) to candidates of demonstrated ability and high academic promise. Scholarship winners are chosen competitively by a national committee representing business, universities and government. These awards may be used for studies in such disciplines as engineering, environment, business and public administration, social and behavioural science, architecture, economics, law, planning and history. A Guideline and Application form may be obtained from your university office responsible for graduate studies or student awards. Or write to: Administrator, Scholarship Program Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation 700 Montreal Road, Ottawa, Ontario K1A 0P7
Your request for a form must reach Ottawa by March 9,1993. In turn, your application for the 1993-1994 academic year must be sent to CMHC by your university no later than April 8,1993.
Page 22
Entertainment
The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
L u k a is a fo u r le t t e r w o rd t h a t b e g in s w it h a n "L" BY JEFFREY SILVERSTONE Surely, DNA was the best thing that could have hap pened to Suzanne—their ver sion of “Tom’s Diner” helped her realize that she is not Joni Mitchell. Now she wears band-aids on her fingers and that pen-knife on her neck—a look which is dangerous and sexy, sort of like a Michael Jackson of this world. For my twenty second birthday, I toldmy friend Chris to buy me tickets to see Suzanne Vega. So we went (the show was on Monday February 1st) and it was pretty good—though Chris thought it was amazing. If you would have asked me to see Suzanne Vega when her last album, Days o f Open Hand, came out, I would have said “no way.” At that time, she seemed to have been cultivating an unbecoming Shelley Duval-as-Olive Oyl-like per sona.
With her fourth album, 99.9 F, Suzanne has become the Streisand of the coffee house crowd. With fingernails that are more manageable than Barbra’s, Suzanne is like buttah.99.9F was one of the best, and most underrated re leases of last year. Though it clocks in at only thirty five minutes, compared with the overlong— seventy min utes—of Madonna’s Erotica (the standard by which all as pects of pop-culture are meas ured), 99.9 F is a small won der. It mixes Vega’s usual in trospective lyrics with great sounds and a lot of bass. To put it simply: everyone should own it. The prospect of hanging at Carlos & Pepe's before see ing Suzanne seemed far more interesting than catching the opening act Kitchens of Dis tinction. Things didn’t turn out as planned. We ended up walking into the Spectrum halfway through the first song finding two really bad seats
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somewhere in the depths of the bass-trap which made most of the lyrics unintelligible. The only note-worthy elements of Kitchens of Dis tinction’s performance were the strange intros to most of their songs. The pre-feedback moan made one think:
really got things going. Conspicuously absent was anything from Suzanne’s least successful album Days o f Open Hand. When she did do the beautiful-on-CD “Tired of Sleeping,” from D ays , she seemed to lack all energy and focus. For the most part, the concert was pretty good. Suzanne did a great versions of “In Liverpool” and “Blood Sings” and in between she was endearingly funny. At one silent point, a man yelled out, “I love you” which seemed to surprise Suzanne. After he yelled it a second time, she said, “W ell..I...uh..guess that I...uh..love you too, though I can’t see you very well from here.” Allow a cross-musical genre reference: when Mariah Carey made her way to the stage at the American Music Awards last month to accept her second award, I couldn’t help thinking how unmusician-like she appeared. She looked more like she was accepting the congeniality award at a beauty school con vocation. When she grasped the statuette, she really let go; “I love you so much. 1 really do!” She seemed so sincere compared to Suzanne. Sort of highlights the fickle nature of love among the stars? The last third of the show was marred by some disap pointing moments. When Suzanne finally sang “Blood Makes Noise”, she decided to
go for a wizardly technical special FX. On the studio ver sion of “Blood Makes Noise”, Suzanne’s voice has been fil tered. When she performed it live, she insisted on singing through this thing that looked like a miniature megaphone. The result was incomprehen Yanni; Sounds o f the Ocean sible vocals and much blush Blue. Kitchens of Distinction ing on Suzanne’s side of the were the worst thing a rock megaphone. bandcould be: mediocre. They Not long after came the sounded like a cut off a moment every self-respecting mid-80s John Hughes/Molly Vega fan dreads: “Luka”. It Ringwald film soundtrack. was bound to happen. Poor That analogy was the most Suzanne must cringe when interesting thing Kitchens of “Luka” shows up on the play Distinction produced. Ironi list. (She’ll be doing the song cally, Suzanne Vega’s “Left when she’s 60, busy putting of Center” was featured on a the Vega in Vegas.) mid-80s John Hughes/ After the song, Suzanne Molly Ringwald film sound proved what a terrible liar she track {Pretty in Pink ) and the is. She looked at the crowd 90s find the Kitchens open and said, “Thank you very ing for Suzanne! much...uh goodnight.” Were Definitely StreisanSuzanne really honest, she desque, Suzanne graced the would have said, “Thank you stage about thirty minutes af very much. I’m going backter the opening act left. The stage for a few minutes so the longer I waited, the more crew can tell me how great the morbid my thoughts became: show was. After that I’ll take “If a bomb drops on the a couple of squirts of Evian Spectrum tonight...” and then I’ll be back out to do The two opening songs, my encores.” “Fat Man & Dancing Girls” For her first encore, and “Rock in this Pocket Suzanne performed “Tom’s (Song of David),” from 99.9 Diner” sans DNA. The false F , set a pattern for the whole stops at the end of the song show. Suzanne didn’t seem as (like Corey Hart’s “Spot You comfortable with the newer in a Coalmine”) were obvi material, probably because it ously a little disorienting for was difficult to hear her voice one audience member. Twice with a full band behind it. She he started clapping before the was more successful with song actually ended. Suzanne older, acoustic numbers like was a real trooper and took no “Marlene on the Wall” which notice of it. Dragged back for a sec ond encore, Suzanne seemed genuinely flattered. She treated the crowd to a pas sionate rendition of “The Queen and the Soldier”. Fin ishing with a definitive “goodnight” (translation: “Show’s over kids.”), the house lights came on. TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SPECTRUM (270-7848) & ADMISSION. RES. 790-124S As we made our way to the coat-check, Chris told me F t H I I . O I M F IS I I I U 4 1 « V he was “in love with Suzanne”. All of a sudden we P lo t * * heared Suzanne’s voice. Ap P A Y T H E R E C U A L A R P R IC E F O R parently the people who re Y O U R P H O T O S IT T IN G A N D Y O U R mained were so vigilant that F R I E N D 'S S I T T I N C I S F R E E ! Suzanne deemed them wor thy of another song. I assumed Suzanne was displaying I Studio Jostens Photo ^ Mariah-like sincerity. So I | 4 9 9 . 9 9 9 9 (Appointment Recommended) ■ 1450 Drummond (corn er de Maisonneuve) Exp. Feb.23/95 looked at Chris and told him to prove his love.
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The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
Entertainment
I n th e m o st d e lig h tfu l w a y ; ro o m s f u ll o f S B Y G LEN D A KOH The title Century o f Splen dour sent visions o f technicolour Christ children dancing in my head when I entered the latest big show at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts. However, I left the new exhibit o f 17th Century French art unex pectedly pleased with the range o f paintings and the mini-history lesson I had just received. Thisexhibition isacollection o f 132 paintings from a variety o f museums throughout France, and therefore represents regions o f the country other than the Paris area. As a result, the identity o f the art ists will likely be unfamiliar, to the benefit o f those who frown upon the big-name crowd pleasing tac tics o f many exhibitions. The col le ctio n co n tain s many lesser-known painters who were heavily influenced by the Italian styles. Nonetheless, they present a thorough impression o f French painting from Le Grand Siècle. The display begins with a time line history for those o f us not so familiar with French History. In addition to listing “which Louis reigned when”, it includes certain events pertaining to the expansion o f New France, one of which was
the founding o f Montreal in 1642. Following this, the collection is divided into the five major movements of the period, begin ning with the formulaic, stylized works o f the Mannerists and end ing with the brashly coloured early Baroque pieces of the later century. The most enjoyable painters are the C aravaggisti by far. Under the influence o f Caravaggio's use of dramatic lighting, ch ia ro scu r ro (literally “light-dark”), they depict figures in more natural and expres sive scenes. The layout makes for an ac cessible exhibit. There are infor
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E n te rta in m e n t m e e tin g This Friday afternoon at 4:45pm, Shatner, B01-A
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The University Senate, the major governing body at McGill, is responsible for the formulation of University policy. Much of its work is conducted through committees covering a range of issues significant to students.
At McGill, departments are reviewed approximately every seven years. These comprehensive reviews look at all aspects of a department and recommend changes that should be made to make sure the department is working at its best level.
You as a student, can make a difference...Get involved! Committees give students their greatest voice in the affairs of the University. Strong student representation is crucial when decisions are being made. The following are the areas students can apply to work in:
Cyclical reviews are conducted by teams, each of which has one undergraduate student member. The University Affairs Nominating Committee is currently looking for student members for reviews of the following departments:
Academic and Planning Issues Timetabling and Student Records Admissions and Scholarships Libraries Equity Student Services Student Rights and Discipline Technology and Campus Development This year, the University Affairs Nominating Committee will be looking for a core group of 10-15 students to work in committees in the University. The committees that are not filled by these students will then be filled by students wishing to sit on a single committee. We encourage applications from students with a range of experience.
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o f Hercules, in which the Roman hero stands with an assortment of body parts scattered around him, all framed by an ornam ental, flowery border. Excluding the final room full o f endless blue-cloaked Madonnas with upraised eyes, the exhibition is diverse and interesting. A visit should take approximately an hour and a half, and the freeguided tours are highly recommended. Century o f Splendours at the MMFA until M arch 28. A dm ission is $4.75 f o r students, but is f r e e to all on W ednesdays fr o m 5 :3 0 to 9pm.
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Come to the office and claim your due. All the hogs were nitrate free, thank you for your patronage.
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1. Aubrey Kassirer's "Upside ground hog" 2. Alasdair Stewart - Bell's "Buddy A". 3. Steven Beasley's "groundhogs or Lemmings."
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The museum provides a handy brochure entitled“The M odest Lexicon’,’which briefly defines any classical and Biblical references to be found in the collection. Any lay viewer can easily examine the paintings enjoyably while learning some major characters from ancient and religious myths. Though the themes are few, the diversity o f the works prevents the e x h ib it from beco m in g repetitious. They ranged from de Nomes gruesome Vision o f Hell(a Where’s Waldo with a dark twist) to the sensuous image o f Lot and his daughters, to Vignon's Triumph
The Tribune is pleased to announce three winners of various sizes for the Groundhog Day contest.
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mation boards for every period and strategically placed catalogues for reference. The 400-page book is the full-colour grandaddy of cof fee table adornment, but is accord ingly priced at $89.95. B e warned that the paintings in this collection will not give you any sort o f glimpse into French life o f the 17th century. The Nains brothers of the Renewal period were inspired by daily life, and the oc casional still-life appears, such as Liegois' appropriately named Bowl o f Fruit and Mushrooms, but for the most part, mythological, reli gious, and classical themes abound.
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French Language and Literature Hispanic Studies Department of Medicine Surgery Oncology Medical Physics Unit Please note, students may not participate in the review of their own department.
STATUTORY COMMITTEE TO NOMINATE A PRINCIPAL Principal David Johnston's third term will expire on August 31, 1994. As a result the Board of Governors has established a committee to review the pricipalship. One undergraduate student member is needed for this committee. Due to the important nature of this committee, the process for nomination has been altered. Students must submit a regualr University Affairs Nomination form, which will be reviewed by the committee. The committee will then submit a list of names to Students' Council who will vote directly for the student member.
Application forms are available at the Information Kiosk. ■Return completed forms by Friday, February 19. 1993. For more information contact Monique Shebbeare. V.P. University Affairs at 398-6797. G le t i n v o l v e d . S t u d e n t r e p r e s e n t a t i o n I s i m p o r t a n t . . . I t c o n c e r n s T O F T
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The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
Sports Redmen beat Laval, almost catch Concordia CONCORDIA REDMEN REDMEN LAVAL
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B Y C R A IG B E R N E S The McGill Redmen are on the warpath. Friday night at the Currie Gym, the Laval Rouge et Or were dominated by a McGill team whose star is clearly in the ascend ant. The Redmen led through the first half and utterly controlled the second half on the way to a 65-41 win. Rookie forward Rick Varisco and point guard Keith Driscoll were the catalysts in the opening min utes; they spotted McGill a fivepoint lead that the Redmen main tained the rest of the way. They never trailed and the outcome was never in doubt. The win was really less a case o f M cG ill’s stellar play than of Laval’s brutal offensive effort. The Rouge et Or hit nine of 41 field goal attem pts. Not counting J e f f Gauthier’s two free throws with 26
seconds left in the game, Laval scored two points in the last 11 minutes. The Redmen played well, but no defence is that good. O f course, Laval was without starFrantz-EricElysée, the league’s leading scorer. Elysée left the team last week for personal reasons (read : he hates his coach), and had re joined, but was possibly being dis ciplined by not dressing for Fri day’s game. Without him, Laval’s offence is clearly in disarray. The Redmen had trouble mo tivating themselves for Friday’s game after a rollercoaster loss at Concordia last Tuesday, by all ac counts a game they could have won. The Stingers runned and gunned to a 19-4 lead before McGill stormed back. Leading 47-45 at the half, the Redmen fell behind early in the sec ond h alf but did not fall o ff Concordia’s torrid pace. They lost 84-81 to the number two team in Canada. Todd M cDougall had 21 points for McGill. “They really brought our game up,” he noted. “We played a lot smarter against them than we had played in the past. We didn’t lose our heads.” “It’s hard to go from playing
the number two team in the country to playing maybe the last team in the country,” said Varisco. He led all scorers Friday with 14 points. Tuesday’s game also saw the return o f 6 ’ 11" forward Doug M cM ahon as a fo rce inside. McMahon scored 13 points and had 12 rebounds against the Stingers. Friday night, McMahon helped ex tend M cGill’s lead with some key baskets before he was given a rest. He scored some candy, including an extremely loud dunk over lots of Laval. The Redmen now own a 5-3 record in the QUBL (all three losses to Concordia) and have clinched their first playoff berth since 1991. Coach Ken Schildroth is keen on playing his next opponent, the Mani toba Bisons. “There is a big rivalry there,” said Schildroth. “The last time we played them, it was pretty rough.” The Redmen beat Manitoba 90-75 on January 23, knocking them out of the top ten. McGill hosts the Bisons on Wednesday. On Satur day, they are home to the number one team in the country, the Winni peg Wesmen. Both games follow the Martlets’ matches and will be gin at 8:30 pm.
K e i t h D r is c o l l d e ft ly h i n d e r s L a v a l 's d r ib b lin g .
L a v a l b r in g s h ig h - f ly in g M a r t le t s d o w n to e a r t h MARTLETS CONCORDIA
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M a r t i n a v a n d e r V l i s t b o x e s o u t w h ile D e b b y M o r s e s t r id e s in f o r n o n e x is te n t r e b o u n d .
Usually, the Currie Gym is barely half-full for Martlet basket ball games. As the clock winds down, people trickle in to scam a seat for the upcoming men’s game. But last Friday night, McGill fans must have realized that watching their nationally ranked women’s team is slightly more exciting that cheering on the chronically average Redmen. Spectators were left with a collective ulcer as Laval delivered the Martlets’ first league loss of the season, defeating M cGill 62-60 courtesy of no less than nine threepoint hoops by the Rouge et Or. Laval’s Sonia Lessard and Isabelle Lauzière shocked the Martlets as they scored four and two treys apiece. “Lessard and number 11 (Lauzière) haven’t shot that well until tonight,” said a peeved Martlet head coach Chris Hunter after the game. ‘They [Laval] took 18 threepoint shots tonight,” he continued. “Those threes sure can hurt you,” he mused.
Extra points here and there were the difference in this nail-biter. The Martlets were behind 36-31 at the half, which was surely a bad omen: this year, McGill has never has never come back and won after having trailed at the half. In the second half, rookie Vicky Tessier gave McGill the lead for the first time, with her character istic post move that seems to origi nate under the backboard, and it was 42-41. Tessier led the Martlets with 19 points for the evening, and was impressive as she dribbled the ball through crowds and took it the full length of the court— a fine feat for a forward. Martina van der Vlist, second in scoring with 15 points, was a picture of ferocity as she rebounded and shoved a Laval player with equal doses of aggression. “Marty really played well for us,” said Jane Ross, herself shut down to just six points. “She was the lone bright spot for us. And Vicky; she always plays well for us.” “Laval did a great job boxing us out,” said Hunter. “They made things hard for Jane all night long.” It looked like Tessier could be the key to the comeback, but the comeback never came. With four minutes to play, the score was tied at 57. Laval sunk yet another threepointer, and topped that with a regu lar basket. Van der Vlist sunk one of two foul shots to make it 62-58 for Laval with two minutes to go. Ross
narrowed the gap to 62-60, and could have sent the game into overtime but was off-balance and missed her final shot. Ross seemed to blame herself for the loss. “It was just bad shot selection on my part,” she said. “I took shots that didn’t have a prayer of going in. I turned the ball over like crazy. I just tried to do things that I couldn’t do.” As a result of Laval’s win, the Martlets’ fifth-place ranking will surely slip. Hunter figures it could go as low as ninth. “We wanted to remain unde feated and maintain our national ranking,” he said. “From this we’ll have to realize that Laval is a threat.” The loss may serve as shock treatment for the squad. “I ’d rather lose it tonight than next week or in March [at the Nationals],*’ Hunter remarked after the game. This week, the Martlets are heading in to what could be their biggest challenge to date. On Wednesday, they’ll host numbernine ranked Maniboba, who beat McGill 84-78 in January. On Satur day, they host number-one ranked Winnipeg, who beat McGill 86-67 in November. Both'games are sched uled for 6:30 pm. “It’s going to be a tough w eek,” said R oss. “I t ’s like a payback, an I.O. U. We want to beat them in our gym, like they did to us. It’ll take furious mental as well as physical concentration.”
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T h e M c G ill R ed m en Hockey team gained all possible four points during a two-game home-stand on the weekend, with a 9-3 win over the W estern M us tangs on Saturday, and a 6 -2 win
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The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
over the W indsor Lancers on Sunday. O n S a tu rd a y , W e s te r n scored first on a pow er play against a R ed m en team that seemed slow com ing out o f the gates. However, the Redm en re taliated quickly with a power play goal o f their own, a Gretzky-esque pass from behind the net by Todd M arcellus to M cG ill’s leading scorer, Guy Boucher. W estern’s next goal cam e on a weak low shot on which Patrick Jeanson, last season’s C I AU R ookie o f the Year was screened. Follow ing a second goal by the M ustangs, the Redmen immediately cam e back with Todd M arcellus’ 15th goal o f the season, a solid shot follow ing Boucher’s spin-o-rama feed. Seemingly, W estern’s strat egy o f using their superior size in a game along the boards was w orking for them w hile the Redmen were hav ing a tough time opening up th eir gam e in a clogged-up neutral zone, and the Mustangs led 3-2 going into the second period. The second period was a s n o o z e r, sa v e fo r D a v id V ecch io ’s goal to tie the game, and M ike G rady’s go-ahead goal with 55 seconds left in the period
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to give M cG ill a 4 -3 lead going into the second period intermis sion. In the second, M c G ill’s David V ecchio tied the game with a short-handed effort on an ugly W estern g iveaw ay. S a v e for M cG ill’s increased speed and a goal called back because o f a high stick, most o f the second was a real snoozer, until M ike Grady gave M cG ill a 4 -3 lead with 55 seconds left in the sec ond. T he fans’ hands were still hot from clapping for the last goal when Grady put on a oneman show, spinning o ff a de fender and dishing the puck to rookie M ark Shew felt for a goal at 19:23. Unbelievably, 22 sec onds later M cG ill struck again; this time it was David V ecchio for his second o f the period, a high wrister over the goalie’s right shoulder. In the third, rookie Marc Lustig scored M cG ill’s 4000th goal in intercollegiate play (dat ing back to 1 9 0 4 -0 5 ), as the Redmen went on to a convincing 9-3 win. Mustang defenceman Craig Donaldson offered a perceptive summary o f the game: “They looked fast and rested, we looked
McGill's Game Stars vs. Western 1st star-Todd Marcellus 2nd star-Patrick Jeanson 3rd star-Guy Boucher vs. Windsor lst-Robbie Clinch 2nd-Marc Vigneault 3rd-David Huck slow and tired.” E v en though the sc o re didn’t reflect it, M c G ill’s 6 -2 spearing o f the W indsor Lancers on Sunday was even m ore domi nant than Saturday’s rout o f the Mustangs. Unlike the previous game, M cG ill started pressuring the op position early and scored quickly after Luc Latulippe made a strong effort to keep the puck in the Lancer zone. A one-handed pass to A1 an Sweeney, who was parked behind the net, led to a mess in front o f the net which saw R obbie Clinch sink his third o f the sea son. W indsor wasn ’t going to give up right away, how ever, and S E E M U T IL A T IO N AN D L IQ U ID A T IO N , P A G E 2 6
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The Volunteer Bureau is sponsoring a Clothing Drive from Feb.l to Feb. 1 9 . Please deposit clothes in boxes located in all major buildings on campus. Donations w ill go towards clothing for the poor and homeless. This winter season, help bring warmth to those who really need it.
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Raven PR9 1 0 2 Raven PR2 4 0 6 Canon BJ- 2 0 W/Sheet feeder Canon BJ- 2 0 0 W/Sheet feeder HP Deskjet Portable HP Deskjet 5 0 0 /Deskwriter HP Laserjet HIP HP Laserjet IV
$ 1 9 9 .0 0
$3 1 9 . 0 0 $4 9 9 . 0 0 $5 2 5 . 0 0 $5 4 5 . 0 0 $4 9 5 . 0 0 $ 1 2 9 5 .0 0 $ 1 8 9 5 .0 0
A L L P R IC E S A R E M E M B E R P R IC E S IT E M S A R E S U B J E C T T O A V A IL A B IL IT Y • L IM IT E D Q U A N T I T I E S P R IC E S S U B J E C T T O C H A N G E W I T H O U T N O T I C E . 2 0 2 9 M ETCALFE
M O N T R E A L , Q U E B E C • TEL: 8 4 4 - C O O P
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The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
A lo n g tim e c o u rtin g ( !)
B Y C R A IG B E R N E S
J a n e
In h o n o r o fV a len tin e 's day, th e Tribune sa lu tes a th letes in lov e. “Hey, Punk!” I f you know Jon Campbell or Jane R oss, you’ve heard that before. The two make a remark able couple. They both come from small towns and have a vocabu lary all their own. They are also integral pieces o f the M cG ill bas ketball puzzle. After meeting in Molson hall during first year, they have been together for more than three y ears. T h eir relationship has grown deeper and stronger over that time, and last summer they took a two-month trip to Europe. Friends bug them about marriage. Com m ents about being whipped are the norm. And they love it. O n the basketball court, they are similar players but are a study in contrast. They are both forwards, they both work hard for everything they get, and they both sweat a fair bit, particularly Jon. W hile Jane relies on a strong inside game to get her automatic ten points, Jon shoots from eve rywhere inside the three-point line and frequently gets fouled. Jane has started every game for the Martlets for the past three years. Jon is not exactly a co ach ’s pet. He does more with less playing time than anyone around. “ J o n is an u n d errated player,” said Jane. “H e’s also a very emotional player and he’s always, always, always looking for the score.” “ Ja n e is a g re a t team player,” said Jon. “S h e’s a good rebounder and scorer and works very hard.” Ja n e ’s numbers have im proved every year that she has played. Last season she averaged 13.9 points and 7 .6 rebounds per game and shot 55 per cent from the floor. She was team M V P and a Q U B L first team All-Star. Most
J o n ’s T e n F a v o u r ite W o rd s
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recently, she was the team ’s player o f the month for January. In league games, she is averaging 7 .6 rebounds (first in the league) and 12.3 points. A long with Debby Morse, she is the Martlets ’ co-captain and is a key reason for the team ’s 20-3 overall record. Jo n ’s basketball career has been a bit more bumpy. Although he was cut from the team in his first and third years, last season he emerged as a consistent scorer and averaged 11.3 points per game, second on the team. Now in his fifth year at M cG ill, Jon has struggled at tim es and co ach Schildroth has been quick with the hook. W ith severely curtailed playing time, he has still aver aged 9.1 points, fifth on the team. Even if he gets no time, he is the team ’s most spirited fan when on the bench. You ca n ’t m iss him. W ith the Martlets on a roll, many people are looking for the team ’s first berth in the National Tournament. Jane has never been at a national championship. “W e should definitely make
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the N ationals,” she said. “I think we have the talent to win it, but w e’ll have to have things going our w ay.” Jon is guardedly optimistic about his team ’s chances in the playoffs. “W e ’re a lot better than peo ple expected us to be. Concordia is strong, but we almost won last week. Beating them is a definite possibility.” T h e two have been encour aged by Ja n e’s mother Diana, who com es down from Ottawa for
every M cG ill home game and keeps stats on both the Martlets and Redmen. S h e’s a big fan. In a M o n trea l G az ette contest, she re cently won a trip for two to see the Chicago Bulls (in Chicago) and has given it to Jon and Jane. “I think Jon gets a lot o f kidding about us,” Jane said, “but on my team it’s pretty low-key. Marty (V an der V list) keeps ask ing me if w e’re still going out.” The two have no special plans for V alentine’s Day. “Lots o f flowers and candy
CON TIN UED FR O M P A G E 2 5 scored a nice goal on Dwayne Brunet’s rush in which he spread M cG ill goalie Paulo M iguel and tucked in a five-hole backhand. M cG ill exploited the W indsor g oalie’s weak glove on their next tw o g o a ls . F ir s t , S ta c e y M acG regor threaded a perfect pass to Guy Boucher on a two-
on-one and Boucher proceeded to beat the goaltender like a rented mule. Next, Luc Latulippe sent Todd M arcellus alone with a pretty breakaway pass, Marcellus finishing with a shot identical to B ou ch er’s on the preceding goal. M cG ill almost went to the dress ing room with a three-goal lead. W indsor scored their last goal in the second, a trickle-in
ftfti
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F r id a y , F e b r u a r y 1 2 th . L e a v e s f o r M o r in H e ig h t s a t 7 :1 5 a .m . f r o m t h e S h a t n e r B u ild in g a n d r e t u r n s a r o u n d 6 p .m . f o r f r e e h o t c h o c o la t e a n d m o v ie s w it h M F S . B u y t ic k e t s a t S a d ie 's . S C IE N C E
ST U D E N T S,
F Q & N O IM -S C IE N C E
ST U D E N T S
10. Oui 9. Suck on that 8. Sweet 7. (whistling) 6. Der Horn (?) 5. Oui, Jean-Guy 4. Puddin’ 3. Non 2. Wow. 1. Punk / Punkin’ for m e,” said Jon. “I don’t know what she’s getting.” Jane graduates from M an agement this May and has ap plied to law schools across the country. Jo n is scheduled to graduate in D ecem ber and plans to look for work in mechanical engineering. W hen asked about the future, both will shrug and smile. Are these lovers to be starcrossed? Tim e will tell.
M u tila tio n a n d liq u id a tio n
S o m e o n e to la y o u t a n d d e s ig n a d s fo r th e M cG U k M ^ n e . Y o u m u st b e w e ll o r g a n iz e d , d e p e n d a b le , a n d a b le t^ w o r k T h u r s d a y p m a n d
FO R
a n d
c o m p u t e r g r a p h ic s a n d a r t is t ic f la r e a r e M A J O R a s s it s * J C n o w le d g e o f P a g e m a k H & o r F r e e lf ih d is a ls o E S S E N T IÂ l^ B É a É p » ’ l i f
Please come see Helene Mayer. Publications Manager. Shatner Building. Room B22. Mondays. Wednesdays and -Gfc Fridays are best if you wish to spend some time talking æ fg w g l about yourself and why we should hire you!
goal on the power play. Captain M arc Vigneault scored next for M cG ill o ff o f a low blast from the point. In the cornucopia o f scor ing, Dave “Brad M arsh” Huck managed to deliver the crunch o f the day on a hapless Lancer, which helped earn him third star honors. The third period was more o f the same with W indsor unable to forechcck effectively or create any odd-man rushes. M cG ill put the frosting on a fine weekend with two goals in the third: a delayed penalty blast by Marc Lustig and an aborted two on one leading to yet another goal for David V ecchio. M c G ill c a p ta in M a rc Vignaultcompared the two games M cG ill played over the weekend. “W e played with more in tensity for the whole game. T o day we played more in the sys tem. Both goalies had a good performance and all o f the lines played w ell.” The four points earned this weekend put the Redmen solidly in fourth in the O U A A East be hind Trois R ivières, whom the Men in Red play this Friday at 7 :3 0 at the M cConnell W inter Arena. :
The McGill Tribune, February 9-15,1993
Sports
E U S : E x tr e m e ly U n -S a fe Have you ever wondered why engineers have their own intramural league, why every engineer you know seems to play, and why each one can re count a grisly tale or two about intramural-related injuries? W ho has not em erged from Redpath Library and spot ted clusters o f body-checking math whizzes splashing around, or alternatively, frosting their loins on the lower campus? Until recently, I ascribed such predilections to the engi neering mystique, which is at least 3.1 4 light years away from this arts student. But the accident toll o f the Engineering Undergraduate S o ciety (E U S ) intramural league led me to conduct some “em pirical research” (to quote the title o f my one required course). Th e latest casualty is a female engineer who busted her ankle two weeks ago, now has a cast up to her hip, and may require pins to be put in. This calamity o c c u rre d in the w o m e n ’ s broomball league. Roxanne T urcotte, an EU S sports coordinator, unwittingly confirm ed what engineers have told me about intramurals: they feel a peculiar pressure to par ticipate. “People almost don’t have the choice to play,” Turcotte said. “W e go to the first-year classes, tell them to make a team and they’ll stick together for four years.” Why don’t people simply refuse to enter the rink o f death? Besides the fact that they might actually enjoy playing, there seems to be a desperate need to be part o f a support system. As one oft-injured female engineer told me: “In first year it’s a heck o f a lot o f work. You have one assignment per week in each o f your classes. You do them with other people or you could never get them done. So it’s really important that you know peo ple. So when you com e you jo in flag football and hang around them for-the rest o f the degree. I t ’s important to make friends right away.” Just when these first-year engineers escaped the sport-cen tric world o f high school, they ’ re pressured to be jo ck s all over again. How many engineers are participating in these intramu ral games with reluctance? How many have been sidelined be cause o f injuries sustained from playing flag football, soccer or broom ball? Thirty-five per cent o f the faculty participates. How compelled are engineers to play
P age 27
HITTING THE WALL B Y A LISO N KORN if they want to survive academi cally? The engineer who spoke to me described feeling that she really had little choice but to play. Overw helm ed by the workload and the pressure to jo in , she played flag football— and blew out her knee, which, incidentally, sidelined her from her varsity sport. T he E U S league must be differentiated from the M cG ill Intramural league, which prides itself on its safety standards. R efs for M cG ill’s broomball league are paid $ 9 .5 0 an hour and have been briefed on the emergency protocol as outlined by the Sports Injury clin ic (al though they still aren’t required to have any First Aid or C PR knowledge). Safety measures have been supposedly tightened up since last year, when scandal erupted because there was no blanket at the hockey arena to keep an injured man warm. Claim s G eo ff Phillips, the cam pus recreation assistant: “There have been no significant inju ries so far.” But E U S refs, if you can believe this, are provided by the intramural teams themselves. Could this account for the law lessness witnessed outside the library? Each team is obliged to contribute one ref, who is paid a meagre S 6 -6 .5 0 a game and is not required to have any first aid training. Turcotte said there is a first aid kid in the EU S o ffice that intramural partici pants are to use in case o f in jury. But does anybody know about this useful kit? When I asked a partici pating engineer what kind o f safety mechanism was avail able, the answer was: “I ’d say almost none. If there was a lifethreatening injury, the person would be screwed.” T o the credit o f the E U S, this year’s collection o f five sports coordinators will recom mend to next year’s batch that future referees have some First Aid andCPR training. And they have started an ‘ injury lo g ’ to keep track o f the mishaps. I t ’s also time for the EU S to hire non-partisan referees and raise their wages. M ost impor tantly, all refs should be re quired to have em ergency train ing. This might raise team fees a little, but I suspect people will still play intramurals.
S p o r t s N o te s added a single. First-year Arts student Bloomfield, a league all-star with the soccer Martlets, collected three goals and two assists The McGill SkiTeam raced the Giant Slalom in bonein her first apearancc with the hockey Martlets. She was chilling temperatures at Mt. Orford last Saturday and Sun second in scoring on the soccer team with nine goals. day, and despite the -45 C cold, retained its first place overall in the standings. After four races in two weekends, M cGill’s men and women top the league, which includes Université B e n o it skates, skies a n d runs to de Montréal, UQAM, Concordia and Laval. th e m u s ic On Saturday, coach/racer Sophie Marcoux placed third among the women. On Sunday, Julia Hogan was sixth McGill’s Jean-Marc Benoit won himself a Panasonic in 1:57.86 and Jill Taylor was 7th in 1:58.71. Maitha stereo system as he skated, skiied and ran to a third place McDougall placed ninth. The winning time was 1:54.23. finish in the Ottawa Winter Triathalon last Sunday. The Also Sunday, Mike Blank placed third in 1:51.61, competition took place on and along the Rideau Canal and giving McGill its first medal since the days o f Pavel comprised a 7km skate, a 8km ski and a 7km run. Pochobradsky. Eric Bedard finished eighth in 1:53.57. The The -25 C temperature had volunteers on the sidelines winning time was 1:48.02. identifying people with frostbite and advising them to dis The men’s races will be shown on RDS on February continue. 18 at 5:00 pm and the women’s will air on February 20 at This weekend, members o f the Nordic Ski Team will 2:00 pm. take part in the two-day Canadian Ski Marathon. On the first The Ski Team’s next race will be at Mont Blanc on day, 80km will be completed, and on the second, 90km. On February 20. Sunday, February 21, the team will compete in the Gatineau-
M c G ill skiers le a d th e le a g u e
55, where participants may race distancesof 10, 15 or 55km.
S o c c e r s ta r B lo o m fie ld b o ls te rs h o c k e y M a r tle ts
G o u g h -a s in c o u g h -w o n ’t slack o ff
The hockey Martlets partiepated in the Theresa Humes Invitational tournament hosted by Concordia last weekend and ended up with a 2-1 record after playing some o f the best teams in Canada and the United States. On Friday, the Martlets lost 11 -1 to Concordia with Brenda Benson scoring McGill’s only goal. On Saturday, M cGill was defeated 10-2 by the Mississauga Chiefs. Heidi Bloomfield and Alyson Fournier scored for the Martlets. On Sunday, for the first time this season, the Martlets beat UQTR, by a score o f 5-4. Bloomfield scored two, including the winner. Benson tallied twice and Fournier
National short-track speedskater Steve Gough, pro filed in this section a few weeks ago, went on to compete in a pre-olympic competition in Hamar, Norway on January 30-31. Skating against racers from the top 16 countries in the world, Gough narrowly missed a medal as he finished fourth in the 500m race. He also came 19th in the 1000m. The Hamar Short Track Cup, held at the Olympic venue, was intended to help coordinators make sure that everything will be working flawlessly for the Olympics. Gough’s next competition will be the Canadian Open Championships in Montreal on March 5-7 to qualify for the World Individual and Team Championships.
S O C IE T Y
O F
ASSOCIATION DES ÉTUDIANTES E T ÉTUDIANTS DE * * $2.500 Scholarships Four scholarships will be presented to full
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Quatre bourses seront décernées aux étudiants et étudiantes de l'Université McGill, inscrits à plein temps dans des programmes menants à un grade qui ont fait preuve de: q u a lit é s d e le a d e r à l'U n iv e r s it é e t q u i a o b te n u d e s r é s u lt a t s u n iv e r s it a ir e s
information/Applications!
AWARDOF DISTINCTION » n 3 A .x » x x i« m
February 15,1993 at 5:00 pm
D A T E
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15, février, 1993 à 17:00 -
1 9 9 2 w as a fa n ta s tic y ea r. A n d w e 'd l i k e t o t h a n k y o u w i t h a s p e c i a l i n t r o d u c t o r y o ffe r o n th e b ra n d n e w 1 9 9 3 C o lt.
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