The McGill Tribune Vol. 15 Issue 12

♦

P u b lis h e d b y th e

S tu d e n ts ’ S o c ie ty o f M c G ill U n iv e rs ity

Volume 15 Issue 12

In Domino Confido

November 21st, 1995

t h is w e e k News

Sabbatical regulations called into question by

Judicial Board overrules CROs decision on Dav/v/health plan referen­ dum.

Page 3

Science First heart attack more easi­ ly prevented with the drug pravastatin.

Page 11

Features All you can eat food supplement.

Page 10

Entertainment 13 Engines, McGill Thespians and all kinds of other cool stuff.

Page 13

Sports Hockey ups and downs.

Page 16

C o lu m n ists Don McGowan........... Page 7 Mila Aung-Thwin.......Page 7 Ted Frankel.....................Page9

D ep a rtm en ts Crossword......................Page8 Observer.........................Page8 What’s O n ................Page 23

W alksaf» N etw ork 3 9 8 -2 4 9 8

Walking with you from anywhere to anywhere.

Sun-Thurs 7:00pm to 12:45am Fri-Sat 7:00pm to 2:30 am

T odd K ramers

Concerns have recently been raised as-to whether sabbatical reg­ ulations, designed to protect cours­ es normally taught by professors on leave, are being strictly applied.

The initial part of clause seven of the “Regulations on Sabbatic Leaves for Full Time Academic Staff’ reads: “The sabbatic leave schedule for an academic unit should protect its undergraduate and graduate teaching programs and provide for an equitable distribution of acade­ mic duties to replace the normal activities of staff on sabbatic leave.”

Questions are currently being raised as to whether this is an ade­ quate safeguard.

At the Senate m eeting of November 8, Arts Senator Matt Rosenberg requested an outline of sabbatic leaves broken down by department. This stems from the perception, particularly acute in the Faculty of Arts, that an uneven dis­ tribution of sabbatic leaves within faculties threatens to compromise departmental programs. The most powerful example of this was the hollowing out of the Department of Political Science in 1994-95, when nine of twenty-one professors were granted at least six months of sab­ batic leave.

SSMUVP University Affairs Lisa Grushcow followed up on R osenberg’s request, querying Vice Principal Academic Bill Chan whether or not mechanisms exist to prevent imbalances from occurring.

Chan affirmed that there were.

Grushcow plans to press for a more detailed answer to her ques­ tion at this week’s Senate meeting.

“My sense is that the U niversity made a m istake,” Grushcow stated, referring to the situation in the Departm ent of Political Science last year. “I don’t want to undermine sabbaticals in general, but it is the responsibility of the departments, the faculties and the whole university to provide the programs that students are here for and pay for,” she said.

Chan, however, stands behind clause seven. “[What happened last year]

S u n d a y - Chichen Wings l&jp/ each 10 per order. ^ T u e s d a y - Looney Night from 4pm lo 10pm ash gour server for more detail!

W e d n e s d a y - L a d ie 's Night, free s x ,« p . from 9:30pm lo 11pm

ualid Sunday & Monday

The semester comes to a close as students pre­ pare to cruise out of McGill.

was an anomaly that should not

have happened and should have been corrected,” he stated.

Another point of contention is the issue of finance. Clause 15 of the regulations are explicit: “The university will pay 90 per cent of full salary to sabbaticants and will also pay its normal share of fringe benefits.”

However, when sabbaticants are unable to receive financial assistance from outside sources, clause 19 provides for 100 per cent of full salary to be awarded at the discretion of “the Dean of the Faculty in which the sabbaticant holds his/her prim ary appoint­ ment.”

Although clause 19 appears to have been set up as the exception rather than the rule, figures from the last two academic years suggest the opposite has occurred in prac­ tice. In 1993-94, 99 per cent of the sabbaticants who applied for 100 per cent of full salary were suc­ cessful (108 of 109); in 1994-95, 85 per cent of applications were granted 100 percent salaries.

According to clause 16, in the event that 90 per cent of full salary is paid to a sabbaticant, “the University will return the remain­ ing 10 per cent of salary to the sabbaticant’s faculty in the same acad­ emic year” to assist in hiring replacement staff. In the past, a central sabbatic replacement fund was an additional resource. This fund, however, has been cut from recent McGill budgets, making the 10 per cent of sabbaticant’s salaries that much more crucial. As the above figures indicate, this 10 per cent rarely makes it to the faculty budgets.

Dean of E ngineering John Dealy believes that this creates an untenable strain.

“Departmental programs are left exposed when sabbaticants are aw arded 100 per cent of their salary,” he said. “The extra 10 per cent that would have contributed towards hiring replacement staff is gone, and funds have to come from elsewhere in the faculty budget, if they can come from anywhere at all,” Dealy said.

Continued on Page 2 I I

VP external affairs resigns from office B y Sara J ean G reen

SSMU President Helena M yers, announced during last Thursday’s council meeting the res­ ignation of Nick Benedict from his position as VP external affairs.

Myers requested Benedict’s resignation after receiving informa­ tion that two w riters from the McGiWTribune were working on a story alleging inappropriate con­ duct on the part of the VP external.

The Tribune chose not to print the article as the editorial board could not come to a consensus on the issue.

On November 14, an executive council meeting was held for which Benedict was in attendance. It was at this time, according to Myers, that Benedict was informed that the Tribune was intending to publish the article alleging his misconduct.

“There have been allegations that made us believe that Nick Benedict acted improperly. I was made personally aware of these

allegations and I forwarded this information to Nick Benedict,” said Myers.

During the m eeting of the executive, Myers asked Benedict what his intentions were regarding his job as VP external.

“I asked Nick if he was con­ sidering resignation as a reaction to the story. He took it as an ultima­ tum which it was not,” said Myers.

“He said he didn’t know and would have to consult with his attorney.

The following evening, I personally asked him to resign.”

Myers stated that Benedict did not respond to the allegations brought against him.

“In the executive committee [meeting], [Benedict] chose not to comment on the allegation,” she said.

The four other executives met and determined that Benedict’s res­ ignation was necessary.

“In the executive committee, we decided that we’d prefer for him Continued on Page 2 I I

S u n d a y -C liic h e n Wings m each 10 per order.

T u e s d a y - Looney Night from 4pm fo 10pm ash gour server for more detail: W e d n e s d a y -L a d ie 's N ig h t.fr e e < x ^ v from 9:30pm to 11pm N s v

ualid Sunday & Monday

r

Page 2 N e W S

November 21st, 1995

Sabbatical

Benedict resigns...

I I Continued from Page 1

to resign, and if he didn’t, we’d move to impeach him,” Myers said.

Last W ednesday, Benedict submitted his letter of resignation to Myers and also announced his resignation by posting a letter on the internet.

“Well, all things must come to an end at some point, including time spent in student politics. And

for me, that time is right around now. There are a number of person­ al reasons why I have made this decision to resign,” wrote Benedict.

During T hursday’s council meeting, Robin Perelle, a co-ordi­ nating news editor for the McGill Daily, addressed questions regard­ ing B enedict’s resignation to Myers.

“The first question is: is this mysterious article in regard to Nick

Benedict’s alleged involvement with drugs, and is this thus linked to his resignation? And secondly, what happened to your motion to impeach?” asked Perelle.

Myers stated that because Benedict chose to resign, the motion to impeach him need not be brought before council.

“Mr. Benedict has chosen to respond to the allegations by resigning and because he has resigned, the issue is closed,” said Myers. “Mr. Benedict is no longer on the executive, therefore we would be bring­ ing a student’s private life [into discussion] at council,” she said.

The SSMU council decid­ ed that Andrea Stairs, chair of the External Policy Committee and arts rep to council, would take over Benedict’s duties until a replacement is chosen.

“For the next two weeks, I'll basically be holding down the fort,” said Stairs. “The only thing that will really come up will be he resolutions from CASA [Canadian Alliance of S tudents’ Associations] which will be discussed in PCOC [the External Planning Committee of Council] and then in coun­ cil,” she said.

At the next council meeting on November 30, nominations will be put forth and a new VP external will be elected from the current council. Stairs will possibly seek the permanent position.

“I’m considering running but it’s a big decision, so I haven’t decided yet,” Stairs said.

I I Continued from Page 1

He maintained that when sabbaticants receive 100 per cent of their salaries, other areas suffer. “[Faculties are] either not pro­ viding replacement funds or they are withholding funds from other departments to subsidise sabbatical replacement,” Dealy said. “A piece of paper with a signature alone does not provide justification for giving 100 per cent of salary. It’s a question of how rigorously we have been enforcing the written rules.”

Biochemistry professor Ed­ ward Meighan, who sits on the committee overseeing sabbatic leaves, defends the m anner in which clause 19 has been applied.

“In my view, the 10 per cent is not really a bonus,” Meighan said. “The notion of 90 per cent of salary was simply to allow sabbaticants to save the university money by raising some outside sources, when there were still ways to obtain money from outside,” he said. “It wasn’t for the university to save money by only ever granti­ ng 90 per cent.”

However, M eighan is not without reservations.

“From a mathematical point of view, the interpretation of this clause has changed dramatically.

T h at’s what w e’re concerned with,” he stated. According to Meighan, the biggest problem was created when the University elimi­ nated the sabbatic leave replace­ ment fund.

“It certainly w asn’t a very nice idea,” he said. “They cut the easiest money they could cut.”

How d o you fe e l a b o u t M c G ill?

W hat d o yo u think a b o u t s e rv ic e s offered b y M c G ill a n d the SSMU? Do yo u w ant to se e c h a n g e s brought a b o u t?

The Quality of Student Life Committee is preparing a survey to find out what students thinkthe important issues on campus are. This survey will be used as a tool for future changes to benefit all students. * Next Meetings: Wednesday, Nov. 22nd &29th, 7:00pm Shatner B-10

Everyoneis welcome

There will be a suggestion box at the . f f-mmsMa SSMUinformation desk, in the Shatner lobby.

Sm iM f ll

Please answer what vou thinkshouldbe improvedat McGill.

COMMËNn~ând~SÜGGËSTiÔNS?' at the SSMU Information desk ¥ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The McGill Tribune is published by the Students’ Society of McGill University William Shatner University Centre, Rm BO! A, rue McTavish Montréal, Québec,. CANADA H3A 1X9 Advertising Office: (514)398-6806 Editorial Office: (514)398-6789/3666 Fax: (514)398-7490 Editorial Office:

Letters must include author’s name, signature, identification (e.g. U2 Biology, SSMU President) and telephone number and be typed double-spaced or submitted on disk in Macintosh or IBM word processor format. Letters more than 300 words, pieces for ‘Stop The Press’ more than 500 words, or submissions judged by the Editorin-Chief to be libellous, sexist, racist or homophobic will not be published. The Tribune reserves the right to edit letters for length. Place submissions in the Tribune mail box, across from the SSMU front desk or FAX to 398-7490. Columns appearing under ‘Editorial’ heading are decided upon by the editorial board and written by a member of the editorial board. All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the McGill Tribune, its editors or its staff. Please recycle this newspaper.

V* r *

*V t »

rrrr*

» w »;

r m

rrrr

r m

«««*

% %

•V

.• •• «

....... «'*v *

Sexual harrasment case at the University of Waterloo A recent case of sexual harass­ ment has caught the attention of students and teachers at the University of Waterloo.

During a field trip to India in August of 1994, Professor Schediv Kumar allegedly harassed a num­ ber of the students who accompa­ nied him on the trip. At least four students have made allegations against Kumar which include fondling and forced kissing.

Upon returning from the trip, students complained about Kumar to the Dean of Environm ental Studies, Jeanne Kay. Kumar apparently cancelled all his appointments with Kay to

discuss the issue.

Kay and another colleague recom m ended the dism issal of Kumar, but University of Waterloo President James Downey called for a “ severe p enalty” . Although Kumar lost six months o f his salary, he has been allowed to con­ tinue teaching at the university.

One of the students involved in the harassment allegations com­ mented, “By allowing him to keep working on campus, and have con­ tact with students, [Downey] is giving a greater opportunity to Schcdev [Kumar] to do it again...Schcdcv is in a position where he has a lot of power.”

Source: Imprint; U niversity o f Waterloo

Twenty First Century Fund nearing goal

By Jonathan O 'B rien

The M cGill Twenty First Century Fund hopes to attain its goal of $200 million by January 1, 1996. To date, the capital campaign, initiated in September 1993, has raised $179 million.

Thomas Thompson, deputy campaign director for the Twenty First Century Fund, emphasised the importance of this capital campaign to the future of the university.

“The Senate and the Academic Planning and Priorities Committee held meetings for two years to determine what the school’s priori­ ties should be as it heads into the year 2000,” Thompson said.

The priorities of the campaign were divided into six categories, with financial goals set in each one.

Because donors specify which pro­ jects they wish to fund, there are discrepancies in some of the cate­ gories between the goals set and actual funds received in meeting those goals.

One of the pre-established cat­ egories, teaching and research, had a set goal of $30 million. However, donations received for teaching and research are more than double the set goal for the category.

Nonetheless, all funds raised for teaching and research have been added to the amount of total funds received for the campaign.

In regards to categories in which goals have already been met, Thompson stated that it is possible that funds might be transferred to other areas.

“The principal and senior staff

will have to make a decision on where those extra funds are desig­ nated. But first, we’ll have to know exactly what the numbers are in the six categories,” he said.

However, some categories are not even close to reaching projected targets. For instance, the goal set for library collections is $20.1 million.

To date, less than half the amount has been received through financial donations.

“Library funds are something I certainly feel strongly about, know­ ing that for the majority of students, the library is their lab,” said Thompson. “Many of the presenta­ tions we have made to the donors have been visits to the library. We want to show them what an impact their donation can have,” Thompson continued.

Communications Assistant for the Twenty First Century Fund, Elizabeth Moreau, commented that donations from graduates are extremely important.

“Many graduates like to donate to their faculties. One of the donors who gave a big gift to the libraries said, ‘The libraries don’t get a lot of support because nobody graduates from the library’,” she explained.

With one month to go in the Twenty First Century Fund capital campaign and just over $20 million left to raise, Thompson remains confident about the success of the fund-raising effort.

“We know we can do it,” he said. “The question is, can we do it and can we do more, because we’d like to go beyond the $200 million goal.”

D E N T A L C A R E w ith Q E N T E E N E S S 20% off to McGill Students

D r . S tu a r t M . S e ltz e r a n d

D r . S t e v e n J. S e ltz e r Dental Surgeons - Chirurgiens Dentistes T e le p h o n e :

738-9240

• 5757 a ve ., D e c e lle s , s u ite M o n t r é a l, Q u é b e c

400

N ew s

November 21st, 1995

Page 3

Judicial Board: “No Opinion” votes reverse referendum results

By M elissa Radler

On November 10, the Judicial Board of SSMU heard appeals regarding the results of the McGill Daily and SSMU health plan ques­ tions of the October 23-25 referen­ dum. The JB decided to overturn SSMU’s previous decision to dis­ credit the “No Opinion” vote.

Of the total 3,672 ballots cast, 47.5 per cent voted in favour of the Daily Question to cut its funding.

“No O pinion” ballots made up almost 9 per cent of the total vote.

Chief Returning Officers ruled that “No Opinion” votes would not be counted. As a result, SSMU announced that the McGill Daily Question passed with 52.1 per cent approval. This would mandate the SSMU to annually petition the Board of Governors until a proposal to cease funding for the Daily is passed.

The D a ily's appeal to the Judicial Board, brought forth by Daily Co-ordinating Editor M-J Milloy, questioned SSMU’s posi­ tion on whether “No Opinion” bal­ lots should be counted towards the total vote. A rticle 13.2 of the SSMU Constitution states: “...a bal­ lot is to be rejected if: there is no

clear indication of preference for a single candidate or referendum question.” According to the CROs, the “No Opinion” votes lacked a clear preference. The votes were therefore discounted.

SSMU VP Internal Jen Harding stated that the CROs based their original decision on regular SSMU council voting procedure, which requires a simple majority of 50 per cent plus 1.

“If there are 4 “Yes” and 1 “No” and the rest [of eligible vot­ ers] abstain, this is considered a “Yes” vote,” Harding said.

She further stated that the fate of “No Opinion” votes was not a concern of the SSMU before the referendum results were tabulated.

“I don’t think anyone thought it would come down to the “No Opinion” [vote] making a differ­ ence,” she said.

Upon hearing the Judicial Board’s ruling, Milloy expressed relief on the part of Daily staff. He said that the Daily is currently addressing concerns that were brought about by the referendum, such as its structure and the makeup of its Board of Governors.

Milloy also questioned the suitability of the referendum itself.

“We [the Daily] don’t think the vote of 10 per cent of eligible stu­

VP Finance Kelly Remai dent voters should change editorial decisions,” said Milloy. “From the beginning, we felt that this was not

only completely inappropriate on the part of the SSMU but also a huge waste of time.”

The Ju d i­ cial Board’s de­ cision also re­ versed the pass­ ing of the fourth question on the ballot concern­ ing the SSMU health plan.

This question called for stu­ dent authorisa­ tion of SSMU to raise premi­ ums up to a maximum of 10 per cent of the approved cost of the plan in the future, with­ out having to S hold another re fe re n d u m .

SSMU considqj ered the small cost preferable to the expense of calling for another vote.

The health plan referendum question was passed by a 44.9 per

cent majority. “No Opinion” votes represented 14.3 per cent of the total vote and deeming them unac­ countable gave the question a 53.4 per cent majority.

SSMU VP Finance Kelly Remai stated his disappointment in the Judicial Board’s decision. He predicted no immediate effects to the decision but claimed that the vote will be pertinent in the long­ term.

“Several years down the line when we may be in a situation where premiums will have to go up to maintain services, council will have no choice but to go to referen­ dum,” Remai said. “The decision simply means that council will have less freedom regarding the future of the plan,” he stated.

Robert Kome, Chief Justice of the Judicial Board, stated that the appeal brought forth was necessary in validating the status of the “No Opinion” votes.

“The constitution was obvious­ ly ambiguous, so we had to inter­ pret it,” said Korne. “It [the “No Opinion” vote] is unaccounted as a “Yes” or a “No”. It is still part of the total vote,” he stated.

Montreal to fund “green” program for Jeanne-Mance district Resolution on a municipal proposal may turn the McGill ghetto into an environmental safe haven B y C onnie K im

The Jeanne Mance district, spanning University Street to StD enis and M t-R oyal to Sherbrooke is currently up for a $50,000 grant from the city of M ontreal. This district, which contains the McGill Ghetto, will receive the grant in the event that it is chosen as the next participant of the ‘eco-quartier’ program.

This program, which focusses on public awareness, education and mobilisation in environmental protection, has yet to be intro­ duced to the urban center. If the Jeanne-Mance district is chosen, it will be the first downtown ecoquartier. The project’s promotion­ al flyer explains it’s mandate.

“The eco-quartier program is designed as an environm ental, economic, and social program. It aspires to financially support and sustain the initiatives of citizen groups that wish to prom ote improved quality of life in their respective municipal districts.”

The City of Montreal intro­ duced the program in 1995 with the goal of having all of the city’s 51 districts participating by 1997.

In each of the districts, non-profit district is unique in the sense that organisations are invited to pre­ it is composed of residential units sent proposals for the program. as well as commercial businesses.

Following a study of these propos­ This diversity demands careful als, the City of M ontreal signs contracts with the accepted prom o­ tional groups.

Expired contracts can be renewed for a m andate of twelve months if the prom otional com m ittees have carried out their work to the city’s satisfaction.

The program is currently in place in 10 of Montreal’s suburbs and is looking to expand. The city is aware of the need for a recycling pro­ gram in the down­ town core area.

However, there are many specific challenges in its im p le m e n tatio n .

The Jeanne-Mance City plan to help make the Ghetto “green

[FREE"W hopper I *Buy a Whopper* and Medium fries at the regular price and get a second Whopper* FREE! This offer valid only at: BURGER KING • 2001 University • McGill Metro ★

M C D E B U R G E R K IN G C O R P O R A T I O N © 1 9 9 5

consideration, particularily due to the transient nature of the student population.

The Quebec Public Interest Research Group’s volun­ teer co-ordinator, Alison Dudley emphasised the importance of a continu­ ous campaign. “ [There is] the need for an ongoing citi­ zens’ campaign in edu­ cating the residents of the Jeanne-M ance dis­ trict in fundam ental issues such as proper days to put out the g arb ag e,” she said.

“Since students are tran­ sient, some form of con­ tinuous cam paign is needed.”

W ith the status of the $50,000 municipal grant still uncertain until mid-December, private in terest groups have gone ahead in forging th eir own proposals.

N um erous in terest groups are joining with public forces such as the M ilton P ark C itizens

C om m ittee lead by R ichard Phaneuf, to create effective and efficient proposals in meeting the objectives of cleanliness, recy­ cling and the im provem ent of green spaces within the JeanneM ance d istrict. Am ong these groups are McGill students within the music faculty, the SSMU envi­ ronmental committee, [the com­ mittee for students] Concerned About Resources in Engineering, QPIRG and many fraternities and sororities.

Dudley noted the importance of student involvement in the pro­ gram.

“In order for an environmen­ tal program to be successful with­ in the McGill Ghetto, mass stu­ dent participation is needed,” she said. “The only way to get every­ one involved is to make it as easy as possible. This requires hand in hand co-operation between the city and citizens.” t OIf you are interested in getting involved call QPIRG at 3987432 and ask them about the Ghetto recycling project.

Please present this coupon before ordering. Not valid w ith any other offer.

No cash value.

Applicable taxes payable by bearer.

Valid only at 2001 U niversity.

Expiry D ate: D e c e m b e r 3 1 st, 1995

November 21st, 1995

Page 4

T * H

*

E

Published by the S tudents’ Society of M cG ill University

McGILL TRIBU N E

Stop the Press CROs Respond to White

‘The more one pleases everyone, the less one pleases profoundly.”

- Stendhal Sylvie B abarik

Editor-in-chief Iqyce H o r -C hung L au

Assistant Editor-in-chief

Editorial

Newspapers make decisions “One of the persistent problems facing journalists is balancing what we know and what we print. Given the framework that most student journalists work in, where they are privy to many the piece of inside information, that is often difficult,” wrote 1994-1995 Tribune. Editor-inchief Michael Broadhurst.

A second problem facing journalists is that of balancing our duty to inform the reader with our own morals and priorities.

How simple it would be if a completely objective set of criteria existed for newspapers to follow. As this is not the case, we must make decisions.

Students who have their ears close to the ground may have heard about a story that the Tribune decided not to run last week. As we have officially turned it over to the two writers who put it together, the sub­ ject matter it contained will likely never appear in our pages. However, comments on the “mysterious Tribune story” will probably continue to burn our ears for a little longer. Moreover, the resignation of two editors and a writer not only depleted our staff, but has acted as a gratuitous slap in the face during one of the most difficult periods this paper has ever known.

Many within our group began to understand our printing of the “mystery story” as being a political move on our part — one that would be better dealt with on the political level proper. The Tribune is not a governing body.

It is frustrating to hear people hypothesise about our motives in cut­ ting the story. (Word-of-mouth publication spreads faster than a weekly paper.) With the exception of the resignees, even the most noble-minded of critics cannot imagine how many considerations we had to evaluate... in addition to the legal implications.

Our editorial board is made up of 15 students (down from 17), all of whom had different beliefs, concerns, and all of whom came to their own conclusions about whether or not the story should run.

Legal concerns were at the forefront of the group’s debate, up until the final day. However, the end decision to cut the story arose from the belief that the nature of this specific story required an editorial board consensus. Hours before we were to go to print, we lost that consensus.

Though legal questions influence many decisions, luckily our choices and our duties are not determined by the law alone. In our con­ sultation with lawyers, for example, we quickly realised that each branch of the law, and each reading of events will differ from lawyer to lawyer.

What we were ultimately left with was an internal clash. We dif­ fered in our visions of journalistic ethic, in our views of obligation to the reader, and in our priorities for the paper.

People must understand that editorial freedom does not means that the media will simply publish an issue because it finds out about it. This said, it is extremely difficult for the aspiring journalist to go against the impulse to inform when a story arises.

We held a story because we felt it was necessary in order to main­ tain the integrity of our group. Last year’s Tribune turned its back on the same issue, before any research into the matter was even considered.

The Daily too rejected the story because it was felt the issue was incon­ sistent with the moral vision of the group.

Newspapers do not have a set of objective criteria that they can automatically follow. They must make choices.

We would like to clarify for the record some inaccuracies in the letter w ritten by Thom as White regarding the CRO decision not to count the “No Opinion” bal­ lots in determ ining w hether a question had achieved majority.

Mr. White states in his letter that upon learning of the results of the count, “ ...panic spread amongst various m em bers of council: Helena Myers (president), Jen Harding (VP internal) and Kelly Remai (VP finance), who immedi­ ately retreated with the CROs for a brainstorming session.” This statement is erroneous for the fol­ lowing reasons: (a) No member of council was aware of the results at the time we consulted with Ms. Myers and Ms. Harding. They discovered the results at the same time as Mr. White. (b) The CROs “retreated” to the SSMU office to consult the constitution, as is appropriate, in making a decision. (c) The CROs did consult with Jen H arding and H elena Myers. However, we did not con­ sult with Kelly Remai (who was associated with the YES commit­ tee). The purpose of the consulta­ tion was to ask for direction in determining whether any prece­ dent had been made for similar sit­ uations in the past. Neither Ms. H arding nor Ms. M yers were aw are that this issue was in regards to the McGill Daily ques­ tion. The consultation was entirely appropriate as Ms. Harding is the advisor to the CRO. (d) The consultation was not a brainstorming session with the goal of finding a way to let the motion pass. The purpose of the consultation was to provide addi­ tional tools to solve a difficult problem. The CROs did not feel any pressure to decide in a partic­ ular way, as our job is a purely impartial one.

In response to the edi­ torial of November 14 The return of the West bank and the G olan H eights should not depend upon the religious attitude of Israel but should be decided by what is fundamental­

Mr. W hite also expressed concern that the oral interpretation we gave to him that evening “dif­ fered radically” from our written judgem ent. Our basic argument did not change (that we considered “No O pinion” to be an absten­ tion). It is true that our argument was clarified with the inclusion of Article 13.2 in our written judge­ ment.

It is also true that the appel­ lants to our decision sought to strengthen their arguments after our casual conversation at Gert’s.

We fail to see how this impedes us from conducting the referendum in a “free and democratic manner,” as Mr. White implies.

Mr. W hite has accused the CROs of not being competent and of not making an impartial deci­ sion. The CROs considered the interpretation of the constitution not because we have any interest in the referendum outcome, but because we wished to make the best decision on an issue which, under the cu rren t SSMU Constitution, is not clear. As we explained to Mr. White at Gert’s, this was not an easy decision to make as there were many relevant arguments, each of which suggest a d ifferen t in terp retatio n .

Although we felt our decision was sound, we encouraged Mr. White and other Daily staff members (both at Gert’s and in our written judgement) to appeal so that the Judicial Board could set a prece­ dent.

Warren Tranquada,U3 Management Joya Balfour, U3 Arts CO-Chief Returning Officers

So does V-P internal Several of the assertions you make in your last letter to the Tribune regarding the conduct of the CROs and SSMU executives during the October referendum are completely unsubstantiated. First

ly right. Let us not forget that these lands are occupied territo­ ries and are not and never were a part of Israel. Let us also keep in mind that these lands are inhabit­ ed by 1.2 m illion P alestinians A rabs who have been liv in g under m ilitary ru le sin ce the

of all, the discussion that Helena Myers and I had with the CROs regarding the outcom e was in regard to the Health Plan, not the Daily. Neither Helena nor I was aware of the Daily results at the time. You claim that Kelly Remai “retreated” with us while in fact he was not present at the time. The CROs did not announce that “no opinion” votes were to be dis­ counted; they stated that question carried.

If the CROs did not, as you say, “give valid reason for this decision” that night, how can you assert that their “oral interpreta­ tion... differs radically from their written interpretation?”

You state in your letter that “the President and the VP Internal owe the Student body a public explanation as to why they felt it necessary to discuss constitutional interpretation of the vote with the CROs.” I’d be more than happy to do this. If you were aware of the electoral by-laws in any capacity you would be aware of Article 1 1.1, which reads “The C hief Returning Officer shall be advised by the Vice President, Internal A ffairs.” I did not seek out the CROs in an attempt to influence them. They approached me to ask for my advice, and it is completely within the realm of my jurisdiction to advise. Your accusation that I had a vested interest in the “Yes” result is appalling considering that I have made no public or private statem ent in support of it and abstained when the question came up at council.article 9.2 of the co n stitu tio n states that the President of the Student’s Society is to “enforce the Constitution and By-Laws of the Society.” The CROs went to Helena for constitu­ tional information and looked over the various sections of the By­ laws and C o n stitution which might have applied to their deci­ sion. That was the extent to which they conferred with us, and if you honestly believe that this was an “aberrant practice,” as you say, appeal to the Judicial Board. It’s your democratic right, Thomas.

Jen Harding SSMU VP internal

1967 war. Countless resolutions p asse d by the UN S ecu rity Council have condemned Israel for its occupation and called for the right of self-determ ination for the Palestinians. Therefore although the peace process is a step in the right direction, the return of the occupied territories was something that should have happened a long time ago.

Zeid Salah U2 Engineering Continued on Page 9 »

T yla B erchtold , Sara Jean G reen ............................................................NewsEditors Liz La u .........................

Features Editor K urt Newman, Rachel Sto koe .............................. Entertainment Editors Staff D ana T oering , Kashif Z a h o o r ................................................................ SportsEditor T anim A hmed, S hannon Ross ...................................................................PhotoEditors Stephan Patten ............................................................................................ ScienceEditor Jordanna Berger, Carly Bohrer, Nicolas Boston, Andrew Cappell, Alex Churchill, Marc Gilliam, Adam Grossman, Jane Hutton, Bryant Johnson, Connie Kim, Todd Kramers, Dave Morris, Jonathan O 'B rien....................................................

Network Editor Reuben L evy, C hristiane W est.................................Production Managers Jessica Olshen, Rachel Ong, Melissa Radier, Matt Roy, Brett Schanfield, Erica Sturzenberger, Paul Slachta ..................................................................... Marketing Manager Michael Terzian, Marlisa Tiedemann, Alex Usher, Ian Watson A nne-Marie Racine................................................................................... Ad sales D on Mc G owan , V ivian D o a n ..................................................... Typesetters A ndrew C o rm ack ....................................................What’s On Coordinator

^ « t i i i m i i »».».

.

.

.

jaaaaBKgy.

«

.o

■

November 21th, 1995

o n w

o n

Page 5

David Suzuki and Issac Mizrahi don’t want you to read this [Column

5

? ] [italics mine] K* **■>!.>*aA ll

I’m not exactly sure when I first became aware of the arrival of black nail polish. Was it in see­ ing an Antonio Banderas’ photo spread in Entertainment Weekly?

P erhaps it was in w atching a David Bowie music video. More likely, my awareness was stirred by one of those people who like to dwell in the corner of my eye, like the ch e ck o u t-g irl at the supermarket, onyx-tipped fingers dragging produce over the price scanner. I’ll never know for sure.

All I know is that sometime this summer, the coolest people in the world began wearing black nail polish.

The most haunting aspect of a fad comes when you first recog­ nize it. Suddenly, after days or weeks of visual clues that you haven’t been noticing, one more person wears black nail polish bang! - you realize it’s A STYLE,

M ila A u n g -T hw in

and it has been stealthily spread­ ing through the p o p u latio n .

W eren ’t you terrified back in 1992 when you first realized that you and all your friends were wearing plaid shirts and lumber­ jack boots?

As anyone who’s ever worn Calvin Klein underpants so that they stick out o f th e ir pants knows, fashion has a life of its own. E ith er you co n scio u sly decide to wear your underpants sticking out, or you are one day surprised to find yourself doing it.

N either act can be com pletely attributed to Marky Mark’s influ­ ence, even if he really does have three nipples.

Stephen Hawking has called the computer virus the first form of life man has created, but being a genius, he’s oblivious to fashion and is therefore overlooking style.

Like computer viruses, styles are self-contained life forms, created

every cool kid had a pair (I was trying to m ake my own w ith bleach and a spray bottle - what was going through my grade 5 head?). A cidw ash jean s then begat acidwash denim jackets, fanny packs, pencil cases...

2. Reproduction: styles are parasitic, living off the disposable income of a host, and reproduce by finding new bodies to live on.

Highly infectious, they can even reproduce via television (note how hit TV show s such as Friends and 90210 have been able to spawn hairstyles across North America).

3. Internally initiated adapta­ But is style really a form of life, as I ’ve claim ed? (Note to tions to the environment: these Trib editors: could you put the are m echanisms used by a life S cienceW atch logo w ith the form in order to stay alive. swirling atoms atop my column to Perhaps the most drastic adapta­ add some much needed credibili­ tion con cern s the flu o re scen t ty?). W ell, life can be charac­ colours of the m id-1980s. The terised by growth, reproduction, first incarnation were those really and internally initiated adapta­ w ide sho elaces. The colours spread incredibly, to every part of tions to the environment.

1.

Grow th: styles grow the in textile industry, until almost their size, complexity and their every “Don’t Worry Be Happy” tmanifestations. A good example shirt and ski jacket were blasphe­ is the entity of acidwashed jeans. mously day-glo. The style had Initiated by a single company in grown too big, over-extending March of 1986, acidwashed jeans itself, and was weakened. The spread to alm ost all the other style seemed to disappear. But major brands within weeks, and flu ro co lours rem ain ed aliv e,

by man, then released to spread under their own power. Do you think any of those fashion design­ ers have any control over the styles they create? No, of course not. Have you ever heard of a designer recalling a tasteless fashion the way G eneral M otors recalls faulty automobiles? In a surprise announcem ent today, designer Jean Paul Gaultier has recalled the style of little leather backpacks, he says he d oesn’t know what he was thinking, the style is o bviously poorly designed, and he’s really sorry.

working their way into things like Oakley sunglasses and clothing, barely eluding extinction. Today th ey ’re pigm enting the hair of Green Day and Rancid, and sepa­ ratin g punks from non-punks th ro u g h o u t the w orld.

Fluorescent’s not dead!

The only people immune to style seem to be those with an enormous intellect. There’s the aforem entioned Hawking, and th e re ’s A lbert E in stein .

Apparently, Einstein had several identical sets of clothing, so he w o u ld n ’t have to w aste brain power worrying about what to wear in the morning. I’m not sure if this is tru e, but Jeff Goldbloom’s character said it in The Fly. Goldbloom also taught me about chaos theory in Jurassic Park and I think he plays a sci­ ence teacher in Powder, so I tend to believe any science related thing he says. I think we could all learn a lot from Jeff Goldbloom, and p ro b ab ly H aw king and Einstein as well. And I think it’s safe to say they never ex p eri­ mented with black nail polish.

M ila A ung-T hw in dresses funny.

W hen interestscome into conflict

First, an admission: this is my second column for this w eek’s issue. The first concerned a story about allegedly illegal conduct by a now ex-member of the SSMU exec­ utive, and a criticism of the Tribune editorial staff for not running the story. By now, you know what (and who) I’m talking about.

Some people really liked the first column, and some hated it. But I had to take one criticism to heart, and resubmit the column. Having given preliminary opinions to the Tribune on the law both for this story and others, I cannot now pre­ tend that I am a disinterested out­ sider.

Throughout the deliberations about running the story, the Tribune consulted with me for preliminary opinions as to whether the story was libellous. After telling them to get a lawyer, I told them that I believed they could safely run the story.

On the law, I was certainly correct. It is always a full defence to libel that the facts in question are true, and that it is in the interest of the person being told to be told.

Both of these circumstances were certainly true in this case.

N onetheless, the Tribune Editorial Board could not reach consensus as to whether to run the story, so it did not run in the Tribune. I disagreed then, and dis­ agree now, with that decision.

I firmly believe that, in part, the Tribune did not run the story because of threats of a lawsuit. No matter how many assurances you may get that som eone (here, SSMU) would cover your expenses, there is always the residual fear associated with lawyers. However, there was an extra-legal element of the Editorial Board’s decision upon which I cannot comment.

In writing my first column, I wanted to be as critical as possible, because I do so strongly believe that it was wrong. To make my position most forcefully, I would have to have relied upon things told to me in confidence. This left me with a very strong conflict of inter­ ests: as a columnist, I wanted to write the most interesting and forceful piece I could, but as the Tribune's legal informal advisor, I had to remain confidential.

This whole history hasn’t just been personal catharsis. We are all, to greater and lesser extents, called

upon to balance conflicting inter­ ests.

If the Premier has the provin­ cial budget to spend, he has to decide whether he will spend it on sedition (his personal interest) or on reducing unem ploym ent (the national interest). Or if your brother asks you not to tell your parents that you saw him smoking up, you have to decide whether you are more loyal to your parents or to him. There are rarely any right answers to these questions (unless you’re the Premier).

SSMU had offered the Tribune the services of its lawyer to help in the decision whether to run the story. For SSMU’s lawyer to advise the Tribune on a matter which puts SSMU’s corporate interests (not to be sued) at odds with the Tribune’s interests (to print matters of interest to its readers) seems to me so obvi­ ous a conflict as to require no com­ ment.

However, SSMU’s executives were also in conflict. On the one hand, they have to ensure the smooth running of our Society. On the other, they have an obligation to use to ensure the proper conduct of their colleagues. C loser to the Tribune, Ms. Babarik had to weigh the benefit to you and me of run­ ning this story against the benefit of maintaining peace on the Editorial Board. And none of these people could refrain from making a deci­ sion.

The law on conflicts of interest is forged in contract, where corpo­

rate directors make contracts with com panies they own, or where lawyers represent both sides of a case. The person in conflict has to let someone who isn’t make the decision. But when the person in conflict is the person who must decide, the legal situation becomes impossible.

The moral of the story is sim­ ple: don’t try to do two things at once. This system will work fine as long as you’re not human. But if you live in this world, then you will

always have interests in conflict, and the people who don’t agree with you will always point that out.

I’ve sat here for an hour trying to think of a nice conclusion to this issue. There isn’t one, except to show that there are some times where lawyers can’t help you. But that’s always good to keep in mind.

Don McGowan would like you to know all of his conflicts o f inter­ est, but he’s not actually that inter­ esting a person.

LA PHOTO SHOP

2178 S t e - C a t h e r in e W e s t , M o n tr é a l Rim,24 exposures, developing included

o \

Passport photos

Cc Q

Above prices only at LA PHOTO SHOP or drop your film off at SADIE’S for processing NATURE CARE RECYCLING

E v e ry th in g from g r o c e r i e s to w in e 1 0 % DISCOUNT with student ID H V ■ V/

67

• M inim um o rd e r $10.00 • . Not a p p lic a b le on beer, wine o r in -sto re s p e c ia ls •

P r in c e A r t h u r E .

8 4 5 - 5 7 5 1

Page 6

O p in io n

November 21st, 1995

S

A

Letters ...t o th e E d itor

» Continued from Page 4

Carter defends propos­ al to add councillors Helena Myers stated in the N ovem ber 7th Tribune article re g ard in g the p ro p o sal for SSM U S ervice representation that “ ...o n ce you add reps for o th er gro u p s o f stu d en ts you achieve double, triple, or even quadruple representation for each student.” I find this concern mis­ placed and a dangerous assump­ tion.

The bottom line is if you p u rsu e th is arg u m ent to its fullest, one can only reach one conclusion: that students should all have just one vote, and vote for the SSMU President alone [sic]. Follow ing this argument strictly you can say that any stu­ dent is instantly represented five­ fold with the SSMU executive.

People, and I’m sure Helena M yers also, w ill im m ediately state that the role of each of the executives is very different, they each represent very distinctive and separate areas and concerns [sic]. I agree, therefore the debate should be about quality of student representation [sic]. This is the point, and why services have pro­ posed increasing their représenta-

tion [sic]. For example pick an issue of concern to all students, the issue of safety, who best rep­ resents that issue, who knows first hand the state of safety at McGill — namely the Walksafe Network. Relate this to responses to tuition fee increases, another concern for all students, who best re p resen ts th at issu e, the VP external.

If you can say that people who live in residence; are con­ cerned about a safe open environ­ ment; are part of a club; or use the gym don’t deserve represen­ tation of these view points its a very fine line between stating, do we really need a VP Internal, F inance, E xternal, U niversity Affairs and President?

Chris Carter SSMU Clubs Rep BA U3 Political Science

In r esp o n se to K aren H urley’s letter As S S M U ’s H ealth Plan Commissioner, I have dedicated many hours of my time to publi­ cising and speaking to students about SSMU and the possible addition of the Hepatitis B inocu­

It’s never too late to start working for a news­ paper. The

lation to the plan. As a McGill student, I have every right to express my opinion, even if they don’t coincide with those of the IRC rep. It is clear from your let­ ter that you drew inferences from my com m ents th at in no way reflect what I said. Your letter im p lied th at I was m aking a judgement about the lifestyles of residence students and their sexu­ al a c tiv itie s. My statem en t im plied no such ju d g em en t. 1 only reported the facts as they were told to me by the McGill Health Services staff.

It is incorrect to assume that because support for the Hepatitis B coverage was below average in the four residence polling stations that it was a result of “the prac­ tice of safe sexual activity in resi­ d e n c e .” How is it lo g ical to deduce from a question about Hepatitis B inoculated for Hep B and therefore there is not a great need for this kind of coverage in the SSMU Health Plan. It makes no sense to draw the conclusions you have drawn simply from a referendum question.

I am extremely pleased that your o rg a n isa tio n is deeply involved in preventing the spread of STD’s in residence. However, since students are the highest risk group for Hepatitis B infection (there is a higher risk of contract­ ing Hep B than AIDS), I feel it is essential to include Hep B inocu­ lated. I am sure students will feel

safer knowing that their student association is making the preven­ tion of a serious STD a top priori­ ty in their Health Plan for years to come.

Christos Calaritis U3 Physiology SSMU Health Plan Commissioner

In su pp ort of resign a­ tions As a fo rm er ed ito r o f the McGill Tribune, I was very proud that I was once part of an organi­ sation that provided news to the McGill Student body. Informing a segm ent of the population is undeniably an immense responsi­ bility.

It was, therefore, with great re g re t th at I learned o f the T rib u n e 's refusal to print the in v e stig a tiv e jo u rn a lism of D ’Arcy Doran and Jack Sullivan.

The illicit activities of a student leader on campus is undeniably an issue of student concern. Of

the issue in question, the majority of McGill students fall into one of two categories: those who are unaware of a situation, and those who have heard the rumours. The Tribune was given the chance to inform the student body and set the record straight. Regrettably, the Tribune turned this opportu­ nity down.

I absolutely support the res­ ignation of D ’Arcy Doran from the Editorial Board and the resig­ nation of Jack Sullivan from the Tribune staff. An organisation that refuses to state the facts because of fear from pressure politics is hardly worth support­ ing.

Emma Rhodes U2 Sociology 1994-95 Photography Editor Ed Note: I f Ms. Rhodes, or any o th er stu d en t, w ants to understand the Tribune’s deci­ sion, she/he is welcome to speak to a current editor. We stand by our decision.

S T U D E N T S ' T E L E P H O N E D IR E C T O R Y

nowavailable at Students' Society Front Counter

SHATNER BUILDING t y e t effect coficf, t o d a y !

University of New Brunswick Faculty of Education BEd Concurrent or Consecutive Program

IF YO U W ANT TO B EC O M E A T E A C H E R A P P L Y B Y JA N U A R Y 31, 1996 Applications available from: Registrar’ s Office University of New Brunswick P.O. Box

4400

Fredericton, NB Canada E 3 B 5A 3

506- 453-4864 Fax: 506 -453-5016

Phone:

Tribune

(http://cnct.unb.ca/unb/davray/

needs pho-

Copocobono ^ mvm T

writers and layout assistants.

Call 3986789 ■ ......................'

v

HAPPY HOUR

o

2

EVERY DAY D RAFT S M A LL P IT C H E R LA R G E P IT C H E R M IX E D D R IN K S SH O O TER B O T T L E D BEER

2 FO R $ 5 .0 0 $ 9 .0 0 2 FO R 2 FO R 2 FO R

$3.75

$ 6 .0 0 $ 4 .0 0 $4.50

PO O L T A B L E M A L A Y S IA N FO O D

3910 S T -LA U R EN T 9 8 2 -0 8 8 0

O PEN 7 D AYS A W E E K 1 1 :0 0 am - 9 :3 0 pm * 730 Ste-C atherine W est Eaton C e n tre )

November 21st, 1995

T r ib u n e Page 7

Sample GRE for the Faculty of Ephemera not a real patron saint?

By A lex U sher

Greetings. As the month of November rolls by, a number of you - particularly those of you in fourth year - are no doubt thinking: “my God! I ju st bombed my LSAT/M CAT!” (Not GMATs. Nobody can blow a GMAT). “I am doomed to a life of flipping burg­ ers!”

Well, have you considered a Master’s Degree? It’s a fabulous way to spend two years without doing anything which is the least bit productive - and hey! what’s a lit­ tle intellectual prostitution among friends. Take this test and see if you can gain admittance to that most fabled of all intellectual disci­ plines - Ephermerology!

1. Adolf Hitler once arrived at a meeting with the League of Nations Disarmament Com ­ missioner wearing: a) a carnation b) a large bull whip c) a bright yellow ascot d) a Luger 2. When the “U niversal Declaration of Human Rights” went through the committee stage at the UN in 1948, Canada: a) supported it b) opposed it c) missed the vote d) abstained because human rights were a matter for the provinces 3. The first Premier of South Korea was General Lee (no relation to the car of the same name). His given name was: a) Bum Suk b) Tae Woo c) Yong Moon d) Suk Deep 4. How many Popes were born with the name “Guido”? a) none b) three c) one d) five 5. The brilliant General Erwin Rommel, of WWII Afrika Korps fame, had the following views about Nazi anti-semitism: a) he supported it b) he violently opposed it c) he sheltered Jews in his home and let them watch contraband Charlie Chaplin films d) thought it was a big mis­ understanding and suggested to Hitler that he put a few “suitable” Jews in top Nazi party posts to com­ bat all the bad press Germany was getting.

6. W illiam Rufus de Vane King, the 13th Vice-President of the United States, was notable because: a) he was gay b) he was sworn in outside of the country and died before he reached Washington c) both of the above d) none of the above LS-'it-ifeTsT»!***.%’* i 4 x**"*si :

7. Michelle Nichols, of Star Trek fame, almost quit the show in the second season because she never got any good lines. Who persuaded her to stay? a) Martin Luther King b) Gene Roddenberry c) the Great William Shatner d) Sidney Poitier 8. Which of the following were created because of World War I? a) Radar b) Kotex tampons c) freeze-dried food d) the fox trot 9. Fast food dates from a) 1950s burger joints b) 1920s roasted-peanut and hot-dog stands c) fourteenth century Egyptian falafel stands d) Sung dynasty (1st century A.D.) noodle vendors 10. Which of the following is not an actual George Bush quote: a) ‘The concept of the Dukakis family has my great respect.” b) “When I need a little free Hussein, I turn to country music.” c) “I stand by all my mis statements.” d) “I had a good long talk bilaterally with Francois Mitterand this morning.”

11. Catherine the Great died: a) peacefully in her sleep b) while sitting on the com mode c) having sex with a horse d) in battle with the Prussians 12. The Term “cooties” comes from: a) the Malaysian kutu, meaning lice b) the Swahili q’ti, meaning îparasitesî c) the earlier 16th-century Irish slang word “cooty”, meaning “menstruation” d) The name of the nowdefunct “Coot Hospital” for lepers in New York 13. Which of the following is

a) b) c) d)

St. Bonaventure of Potenza, patron saint of bowel disease St. Bernardino of Siena, patron saint of public relations St. Colman, patron saint of Hanged Men St. Elmo, patron saint of Truck Drivers

14. Pinstripes began appearing on baseball uniforms when: a) Yankee owner Jacob Ruppert thought it would make his team look more business-like b) Babe Ruth demanded them so he would look thinner c) Ty Cobb thought they would blur the pitcher’s vision just enough to allow him an extra hit every week d) They were a mistake in the design of the White Sox uniform which enraged Comiskey, but were quickly copied by others 15.

The dancer Isadora Duncan died: a) of complications follow ing leg surgery after an accident on stage b) of a broken neck after her scarf got caught in the wheels of a Bugatti roadster she was test-dri ving c) of a brain haemorrhage after being hit in the head by a champagne cork at a party honouring the Prince of Monaco d) of a urinary tract infection Well, that’s it. Check your scores to see if you too can be admitted to the faculty of ephemera!

Answers: 1) b; 2) d; 3) a (look it up if you don’t believe me); 4) b Callistus II, Celestine II, Paschal III; 5) d; 6) c; 7) a (ludicrous but true); 8) b - it was created because some­ one needed to get rid of a lot of cel­ lulose cotton which has been stock­ piled for use in shells; radar was a WWII invention and the fox-trot was invented the year before WW I; 9) d; 10) c (it’s actually a Dan Hw 3Jmi WW E«pwr*d X lutfe

4» Ac w -tfwr bAeHjfiMW a**

/iy

-hit «tattifc» hit)

/

iW W M I Jo -tkAt iMViitj AWat <A

Quayle quote...); 11) b (the horse story was likely invented by irate Polish émigrés); 12) a; 13) d (a trick question: the patron saint of Truck Drivers is St. Christopher); 14) b; 15) b 15 of 15 You are already a staff member and are merely taking this test to gratify your ego.

14 of 15 Go straight to your comprehensives.

12-13 Permitted to skip the MA, but must take PhD coursework.

9-11 Standard MA-level scores.

7-9 Admittance to MA grant­ ed pending successful completion of qualifying year.

5-6 Wait-listed. Don’t hold your breath.

3-4 Have you considered teaching Phys Ed? 1-2 Unsuitable for any advanced education, but eligible for cabinet post in Ontario.

0 Brain dead. Eligible for PhD work in political science.

Having completed his Masters, the only job Alex Usher is qualified for is that o f writing for Kaplan.

CROSSWORD

R A E L A L L O MU S T

by TH O M AS JO S EP H

ACRO SS

1 Swindle 5 Climbing spike 10 Rid of rind 12 Island send-off 13 Steamed 14 Moves clumsily 15 Sailor 16 Uma's “Pulp Fiction" role 18 Earl Grey, for one 19 Radio annoy­ ance 21 Bin contents 22 Theater exit 24 Train type 25 Christie works 29 It’s just a question of time 30 Arm muscle

41 Kiosk 42 Lane cohort DOWN

1 Barbecue aids 2 Emerald units 3 Turkey’s high point 4 Convened 5 Heming­ way nickname 6 Under the weather 7 Overly affected 8 “Heavens!”

9 Twangy 11 Satyr, e.g.

10

ro

U

oR

MO P R HA

B B 1 L E N O NG O E N M R A 1 R T N, O G G O R A »■ A L DT N A 1 s T O L E T E D

L O B B U H U R R 1D E C O D E H■ t D E R N D O Gâ E G A F E T L NO A P 1 N S A U C K Y S E

l D A N G E R

Last Week’s Answers

17 “Rock” in a bar 20 Hawk’s grasper 21 Stomach ailment 23 Actor Travanti 25 “Let’s!”

26 Montana’s

capital 27 Prof’s status 28 Incite 29 Drivers, e.g.

31 Onset 33 Pleased 36 — Arbor 38 Sea bird

|12

11

114

13

IÏ6

15

IÏ8

17

20

19

|21 23

124

VL P o p e y e s

27

26

OJive V2> “uft/sW”

34 Lunatic 35 Cager Shaquille 37 “Little House” girl 39 Reed of TV 40 Panelist

Y A R D S

31 134

32 35

36

■■37 ■40

39

142

41

try im h-AHnm/ ‘‘w.

4*aw woMt WtjAmUr l Hwut c' mM, tt* ship comJn'f J AHy VfMttA ...*

38

YWeMy SHK5, A ho twd^tootJ» Mi ort* cotRf ntjWPtml LMAtt...

ÎXMJI-S*.;

pwk'loft.

Ht

T H E O M B U D S P ER S O N F O R S T U D E N T S EIG H T H A N N U A L REPO RT TO SEN ATE FO R T H E PERIO D SEPTEM BER 1, 1994 TO A U G U ST 31 , 1995 Submitted by Estelle Hopmeyer, McGill University Ombudsperson for Students E IG H T H A N N U A L R E P O R T O F T H E M C G IL L O M B U D S P ER S O N F O R S T U D E N T S September 1, 1994 - August 3 1 , 1995 I am pleased to present the Eighth A nnual Report of the M cG ill U n iversity Ombudsperson for students for the reporting period September 1, 1994 to August 1, 1995, in accordance w ith the terms of reference of the office as approved by the Senate and the Board of Governors (copy attached). T h is is my second report to Senate as I have occupied this h alf tim e position since September 1, 1993.

A s previewed in last years report, the Ombuds O ffice moved to the Burnside Building in mid October. The O ffice is on the m ain floor assuring easy access for a ll stu­ dents. Th e Equity O ffice w hich shared this space moved out in July and the O ffice for Students w ith D isabilities moved into the vacated space in August. We are confident that the new arrangement w ill be a permanent one!

T H E M A N D A TE Th e Mandate of the Ombudsperson for Students is the im partial investigation of com plaints by M cG ill students who feel their rights have not been respected by some member of the M cG ill Com m unity. Th e process begins w ith a telephone call or a visit by the Student to the Ombudsperson’s office. A s Ombudsperson I listen to the student and validate their concern. Th en there are many alternative interventions. A fte r discussion, the student may feel ready to intervene on his/her own behalf w ith th eir Professor or other U n iversity O fficia l. I may refer them to the appropriate U niversity O fficial or to the Legal Inform ation C lin ic . In certain instances, w ith the stu­ dent’s perm ission, I w ill investigate the com plaint and if warranted intervene on his/her behalf.

A s stated in last year’s report, one of the prim ary goals of the U n iversity in supporting the position of the Ombudsperson for students is to try to resolve student problems/complaints through inform al means such as dis­ cussion, negotiation or m ediation rather than resorting to the more form al grievance or discipline procedures. W hile this has been possible in most cases, there are a percent­ age, particularly in the Graduate Faculty, that do require form al resolution.

education cases suggests that these students may not be aware that they can consult the Ombudsperson. T h is w ill be an area of outreach this year.

TABLE3 CROSSTABULATIONOFFACULTYBYPROBLEMTYPE Admirions Complaints Info/Referral Total Admissions 4 4 Architecture 1 1 68 13 81 Arts 21 1 18 2 Cont. Ed. 1 1 Dentistry 19 Education 3 12 4 22 3 25 Engineering 3 3 3 7 GradStudies 4 5 1 4 1 Lib&InfoStud.

1 8 Management 7 1 5 Medicine 2 7 14 6 2 Music 4 1 Nutrition 1 2 Parasitology 2 1 Plant Science 1 1 Kelig. Studies 1 49 36 8 Science 5 3 7 Staff 4 1 3 2 6 263 199 47 TOTAL 17 TABLE4 NUMBEROFCASESBYCASECATEGORY Count CaseCategory 146 12 AcademicMisconduct 19 Admissions 1 Appeals Counselling 1 3 8 7 Financial Aid 20 1 HealthServices 8 Libraries 3 McGill Housing 16 9 RegistrationandLoans 5 SecurityandSafety 1 Other 263 TOTAL T h e number of cases this year has reverted back to the average of previous years 1992-94-1 attribute this to better reporting than in the previous year - my first. Th e data on Ombudsperson involvem ent indicates the number of interventions taken on a case: single (113) or m ultiple (126) as w ell as the action taken: phone, meeting, infor­ m ation, referral, etc. It also indicates the number of stu­ dents served by telephone (1 0 7 ), visit (150) fax or letter (6 ). W hat I found interesting was the m onthly statistics. I had an averrage intake of 4-5 new cases a week u n til the spring when I was inundated w ith new d ifficu lt cases. The summer reverted back to a more regular pattern. (June reflected attendance at two conferences). It w ill be inter­ esting to compare these figures in future years. It must be noted that “m” - m ultiple can mean several intervention or extensive work of up to 50 contacts or interventions over a period of many months - often at night or on the weekend, w hile “s” - single can be a 15 m inute phone call or meeting not requiring my intervention.

ate studies. Th e new direction that is being taken by the M cG ill C .A . program provides a model for this review.

R e lig io u s H o ly D a y s A t present M cG ill does not have a w ritten policy or statement in its academic calendars concerning religious holy days. T h is year the first day of classes fe ll on the Jew ish holiday of Rosh Hashana and the fin al exam peri­ od included the Jewish Passover holiday. I understand that the V ice Prin cip al Academ ic drafted a directive to Faculties concerning the beginning of term and that the Faculty of A rts did accommodate exams. I strongly recom­ mend that M cG ill develop a policy and procedure con­ cerning religious holy days and include it in its academic calendars. Concordia’s draft policy is an excellent model for us to consider.

Faculty responsibilities and student rights are clearly spelled out in the Green Book. M any students visit the Ombuds O ffice because they believe that their rights are not being respected by the Faculty. For exam ple, course outlines are not provided as required, course requirements or grading formulas are changed w ell into the course, “par­ ticipation” marks when given (from 10%-40% of total grade) are seen as arbitrary, Faculty are not available for consultation, papers/assignments are misplaced/lost, marks are not submitted on tim e., etc.

Students have also been very concerned by sexist or racist comments made by Faculty in their classroom. T h is is particularly stressful when the remarks are personal.

Students are without power in these situations and often choose to withdraw from these courses w ell into the term.

It is evident that Faculty should be aware of the rules that spell out our responsibility to students in the same way that students must meet th e ir responsibilities.

Harassment of any kind is unacceptable.

D if f ic u lt C a se s

S ta tis tic s

O m b u d sp e rso n fo r S ta ff an d F a c u lty

Th e Ombuds O ffice recorded 263 cases this year. The statistical summary and tables w hich follow provide detailed inform ation concerning the cases (tables 1-4) and the work of the Ombudsperson (tables 5 and 6 ). Trevor G arland of Inform ation Systems Resources developed a new programme w hich has permitted this more detailed reporting of the data.

Th e Jo in t Com m ittee on Equity has reviewed a propos­ al concerning the appointment of an Ombudsperson for staff and faculty. O nce again this year I have been approached by a number of Faculty and staff concerning workplace issues. I have listened and have tried to initiate strategies to assist them in problem solving. A n issue for consideration is w hether there should be one Ombudsperson for students and another for Faculty and staff. M y colleagues at Concordia share both mandates as they are concerned that serving only one constituency would identify them as advocates. However, the advan­ tage of a divided mandate is that the Ombudsperson can develop specialized knowledge and expertise. Since M cG ill has only one half-tim e Ombudsperson, I would suggest the naming of another Ombudsperson who would deal w ith staff and faculty. T h is would allow for consulta­ tion and cooperation and reduce the present isolation of the Ombudsperson.

TABLE 1 CROSSTABULATIONOFPROGRAMBYPROBLEMTYPE Admissions Complaints Info/Rgferraj Total 3 Admissions 3 20 2 23 1 3 Diploma 2 1 19 23 4 29 33 PhD 4 1 1 2 Post-Doctorate 1 1 8 6 2 Qualifying 1 Special Status 1 3 7 Staff 4 111 26 144 Undergrad 7 3 3 Visiting 2 Visiting/Special 2 10 Other 2 4 4 47 263 TOTAL 199 17 TABLE2 CROSSTABULATIONOFPROGRAMBYGENDER Total Female Group Male 3 Admissions 2 1 11 23 12 2 3 Diploma 1 16 7 23 15 33 PhD 18 3 Post Graduate 1 4 2 2 Post-Doctorate 8 Qualifying 1 7 1 Special Status 1 7 Staff 6 1 6 53 146 Undergrad 87 3 Visiting 2 1 Visiting/Special 1 1 2 3 2 5 6 100 263 TOTAL 157 In analyzing Tables 1 and 2 the following points should be noted. There appears to be a disproportionately large number of graduate students who use the Ombudsperson.

T h is w ill be discussed later in the report. Th e low number of admissions cases reflect the fact that my mandate does not include admissions as that office has its own review and appeal procedures. I do, however, facilitate access to the Adm issions O ffice. Th e low number of continuing

Total 17 199 46 1 263

TABLE6 NUMBEROFCASESBYMONTHOFFIRSTCONTACT

D IS C U S S IO N O F IS S U E S Th e A nnual Report is the opportunity to raise issues that have been identified in the years work. There are sev­ eral that I believe m erit attention.

G ra d u a te S tu d e n ts Graduate student cases rem ain one of the most complex areas of my work. Last year I discussed some issues includ­ ing, intellectual property, harassm ent, requests to w ith­ draw, etc. T h is year I would like to focus on the issue of admission criteria including background preparation for PhD study. T h is problem and other equally serious issues is reflected in the 33 PhD cases w hich I dealt w ith this year.

There have been a number of cases often International students, where after two years of study they have been told that they do not have the potential for PhD level w ork. T h is may be prior to or after the comprehensive exams and before or after a change of advisor. I certainly support academic standards but note that different depart­ ments have different approaches, i.e . some require qualify­ ing courses prior to admission to Doctoral study w hile oth­ ers place students in a laboratory environm ent where they are expected to function independently in the preparation of a thesis proposal. If students do not have adequate course preparation (i.e . m icro-biology) or a tradition of independent work, they may have d ifficulty. O ur “student centredness” w hich leads us to give students a second chance, extends the period of scholarship funding or fin ancial expense on the part of the student, but may not make them more able to perform at the expected level.

There may be some m erit to reviewing admission criteria, consideration of qualifying courses etc. for some students so that they can reasonably expect success in th eir gradu­

• • •

E v a lu a tio n o f th e O m b u d s O ffic e A n evaluation form has been drafted that w ill be given to a ll students who visit the O ffice. Th e form w ill be made available in several strategic locations for these students who consult by telephone. Th e completed forms are to be returned to Heather Sm ith-W atkins of the V ice Principal Academ ics office. Th e evaluation comments w ill be used to increase the effectiveness of the O ffice. Th e results of this evaluation w ill be summarized in next year’s report.

C O N C L U S IO N Th e Ombuds position is one of considerable responsi­ b ility. M cG ill is a very large institution and some students do need help in the process of achieving their education­ al or personal life goals. It is a privilege to work w ith these students and my colleagues in the M cG ill community to ensure that academic freedom and academic standards are m aintained in an environm ent that is respectful of a ll of its members.

A C K N O W LED G EM EN TS A n important part of this report is to recognize the people who have been of special help to me this year.

Jackie Fee-Owen and my former Equity office mates Honora Shaughnessy and Bev Evoy Annette W erk, former Ombudsperson Vice Principal Academ ic B ill Chan Associate Vice Principals Graduate Studies, Lydia W hite and Bernard Robaire Former Dean of Students and Associate Dean of Students, Irw in Gopnik and Lynn Butler-Kisber Associate Deans of A rts, Science, M usic, Education and M cDonald College N icole Domingue and Sarah W estphal, Ian Butler and N ick de Takacsy, Kenneth Woodman, John G radw ell, Deborah Buzzard

•

Charlotte Legare, Faculty of Graduate Studies

•

Elaine Sequeira, Chartered Accountancy and Grad Adm in Studies Robin Eley, D irector, Departm ent of Career and Management Studies M artela Johansen, Director of Adm issions Jen n ifer C o utlee, Secretary to the Dean of Education Laurence Hansen, Bruno G uillot-H urtubise, David Levy and Jody Berkes, Legal Inform ation C lin ic Jen Sm all and Lisa Grushcow , V P U n iversity A ffairs, SSM U Students who consulted the office and shared their concerns and wisdom.

F a c u lty R e s p o n s ib ilitie s

D IS C U S S IO N O F C A S E S

TABLE5 CROSSTABULATIONOFPROBLEMTYPE ProblemType Inform Letter Meeting Phone Referred 3 2 1 11 79 Complaints 32 4 26 58 2 10 19 InfoReferral 15 1 Other 29 TK5Si TOTAL 4$ 4

• • •

•

Th e most d ifficu lt cases that I worked on this year were: assault cases, case involving ‘troubled student’, a post-doctorate case and cases involving graduate or qualifying stu­ dents. A ssault cases by the very nature of the problem require very sensitive intervention. Two of the cases this year created a unique situation for the Legal Inform ation C lin ic because they represented both sides of the case. A s a “neutral” intervener, 1 was able to be available to both parties, though cases where I am involved w ith parties does require special care.

W hen working w ith ‘troubled’ students I rely very heav­ ily on my social work sk ills. It would be important to try to intervene early on in these cases in the best interest of the student, and the Faculty or U n iversity official involved. A “crisis” team would be an excellent idea to implement for M cG ill to respond to these special cases.

I had the opportunity to work closely w ith Associate V ice-Principal Robaire on a case this year concerning a Post-Doctorate. In the absence of an Ombudsperson for staff I worked “outside of my mandate” to help successful­ ly resolve the problem. T h is particular case was one that required the highest number of contacts and interventions on my part.

Th e discussion of qualifying students related in part my earlier observations concerning graduate students. I have noted a pattern of “failures” in several qualifying pro­ grammes at M cG ill. These departments should review admission criteria, programme requirements and structure, as there appears to be systemic problems that have serious im plications for students.

Th e ab ility to resolve cases inform ally is due to the strong support I have received from a ll members of the M cG ill com m unity: faculty, staff, Associate Deans, Deans and A ssociate V ice P rin cip als. Telephone calls are promptly returned - often from home - and tim e is given to hear and understand the issues. Every effort is made to come to a reasonable and fair decision. Th e neutrality of the office is understood and respected by a ll. If cases are going to require advocacy, I refer them to the Legal Inform ation C lin ic at M cG ill. Th e student lawyers are an extraordinary resource for our students. A number of the most com plex cases this year have resulted in close collab­ oration between the Ombuds O ffice, Legal Inform ation and/or the V ice President U n iversity A ffairs of the Students Society.

Th e Ombuds O ffice played a role this year in the Independent Com m ittee on Inquiry O n Research Policies and Practices in the department of C iv il Engineering.

Students who did not want to meet the Com m ittee of Inquiry but wished to bring concerns could do so through the Ombudsperson who attended the inquiry on their behalf. Several students did take advantage of this oppor­ tunity.

•

• • • • •

T h is list is a long one, however it is an indication of the level of involvem ent required for problem solving as the Ombudsperson is an advocate for equity w ithin the sys­ tem, but not an advocate for an individual.

O M BU D SPER SO N FO R S T U D EN T S T e rm s o f R e fe re n c e Th e role of the O M BU D SPER SO N FO R S T U D E N T S is to receive com plaints from the students and to try to resolve those com plaints through inform al negotiations w ith a view to avoid the more form al grievance procedures already existing at the U niversity.

A p p o in tm e n t Th e O M BU D SPER SO N is appointed by the Board of Governors on the recom m endation o f a jo in t Senate/Board Com m ittee, one-quarter of whose members are students.

W o rk in g C o n d itio n s Th e O M BU D SPER SO N is appointed for a term of five years.

Th e O M BU D SPER SO N is a member of the M cG ill Faculty respected by staff and students. Th e h a lf time Ombudsperson’s appointment is subject to a fixed formula for m erit increases equivalent to 50% of the U n iversity’s average academic m erit, unless the academic h alf appoint­ ment is higher. W here the academic h alf is higher, the Ombudsperson’s h a lf appointment m erit component w ill follow.

O ffic e F a c ilitie s Th e Ombudsperson is provided w ith a separate O ffice, appropriate secretarial support and on-going answering phone facilities.

F u n c tio n s Th e O M BU D SPER SO N is an im partial arbitrator, as free as possible from conflicts of interest.

Th e O M BU D SPER SO N investigates, at the request of any member of the student body, any com plaint that may arise between that student and the U n iversity or anyone in the U n iversity exercising authority.

Th e O M BU D SPER SO N brings his or her findings and recommendations to the attention of those in authority by the most expeditious means possible.

Th e O M BU D SPER SO N investigates any apparent inadequacies in existing U niversity procedures w hich may jeopardize the rights and liberties of any members of the U niversity community.

Th e O M BU D SPER SO N formulates recommendations w hich are not to be construed as formal policy.

Th e O M BU D SP ER SO N , if requested by both parties, mediates disputes between parties.

C o n fid e n tia lity Th e O M BU D SPER SO N treats a ll com plaints in a con­ fidential manner where appropriate, w ith the upmost care and respect for the individuals concerned.

Th e O M BU D SPER SO N has access in accordance w ith law to a ll official files and inform ation as are required to fu lfill his or her functions.

S co p e Inquires made by the O M BU D SPER SO N to members of the U n iversity receive respectful attention and are treated w ith reasonable promptness.

Th e O M BU D SPER SO N does not make U niversity policy or replace proper legal channels; he or she acts sole­ ly in an advisory and interm ediary role.

Th e O M BU D SPER SO N exercises no powers that are beyond the legal scope of the U niversity. He or she can only make recommendations regarding actions or policy w ith in the scope of the U niversity.

A n n u a l R e p o rt Th e O M BU D SPER SO N provides a w ritten report of the activities and decisions of his or her office annually to the Senate.

T h e annual report indicates the progress o f the O M BU D SP ER SO N ’S office and indicates any recommen­ dations for im provement.

November 21st, 1995

Page 9

McGill students reach out to single moms and troubled teens B y Erika Sturzenberger

It is a common criticism of McGill students that they are so caught up in their academic world that all non-academic/non-alcoholic affairs are ignored.

As with any stereotype, the validity of this image is not nearly so great as perceived. Hundreds of members of the McGill community take part in community service efforts throughout M ontreal tutoring, baby-sitting, counselling, or acting as m entors for area youth.

One such program is Project Chance. Stationed in the basement of a subsidised housing unit for single student mothers, the pro­ gram provides the tenants with baby-sitting for a couple of hours each evening, giving m others much needed free time.

Walking into the baby-sitting room makes it clear just how valu­ able their service is to the mothers.

Screeches and howls betray their location as one enters the building.

Peeking around the corner, you can see a child-sized house rocking on its foundation, as kids inside take turns tackling one another. In the middle of it all are three McGill students.

The volunteers believe they have a lot to gain from the experi­ ence. “[Students] live a somewhat ego-centric lifestyle when going to school,” said Coordinator Rachel Rich, a U3 history student.

“Without something like this to give perspective, it’s easy to stag­ nate... Getting peed on by a kid gives perspective pretty fast.”

U3 Latin American Studies student Cecelia Soares is a Project

Chance member. She believes that them of their goals. The system support for teenagers. single mothers deserve a lot of becomes a crutch,” she stated. “We Their first joint effort was last respect. just try to show them that there are summer, when they ran a week“When I think about single people who care in the outside long women’s issues discussion mothers doing and stressing over world as well.” session called Wave, directed at the same things that we do when This concept of mentorship is teenage girls aged 12-17. The they have kids to take care of, I not exclusive to tutoring groups. group discussed issues such as find it pretty amazing.”

McGill’s Women’s Union and Q- racism, sexism, body image, and Danielle Paterson, a U2 histo­ PIRG’s Shakti, an organisation for drug and alcohol issues. They are ry student, is a coordinator for the women of colour, also provide planning to expand this program McGill Literacy Council. ____ “I t’s a reality check.

We may even be benefiting more than they d o ,” Paterson stated.

W ithin the Literacy Council, there exist a num, ber of other programs pro\ \ moting literacy for children, teenagers, and adults. The sessions have a student-cen­ tered approach, and have the ultimate goal of promoting fun with books.

“In school, kids begin to regard books with work, we try to show them their entertainment value,” said U2 English literature student Caroline Butler.

Paterson and 40 other M cGill students visit Shaw bridge D etention Centre each week. The cen­ tre serves both as a quasi­ jail and a protection centre for m inors. Initially, Literacy Council members visited to help detainees work on writing skills, but have gradually acquired a less serious focus.

A ndrea Breen, a U2 education student, is another coordinator of the program “They are kept from most contact with the outside world and it drains Student volunteers are breaking out o f the McGill campus

into a weekly discussion group in the coming month.

U3 philosophy student Ramona Roberts, one of the coor­ dinating members, explained their goals.

“Adolescent girls do experi­ ence a number of problems; body im age, relatio n sh ip s, sexism , racism, sexual harassm ent, and these issues are not really dealt with in high school,” she said. “We tried to create a supportive space where they could look at these issues.”

“I think its important to dis­ cuss the issue of race, and how it affects sexism ,” added Katrina Abarcar. “Often women do not want to be critical of their commu­ nity, so they are lenient with prob­ lems.”

By giving teenagers the opportunity to discuss these issues at a young age, they hope that the girls will begin to see ways to im plem ent change within their own schools.

With regards to the coordina­ tors themselves, they noted the practical value of participating in the program.

“I feel that activities such as this are more relevant to me than any of my studies. I will be active in feminist projects for the rest of my life. I can start it now ,” remarked Roberts.

Student volunteer, Laura Humphreys, agreed.

“A university education is so hypothetical,” she said. “W e’re sucked into this M cGill world, while outside Montreal is a fran­ cophone city and most of us don’t even speak French. It is healthy to get out of the insulated environ­ ment.”

Down with intellectuals, up with the people Column

Nomad's Land Te d Fr a n k e l

For two years now, our fine and upstanding school has been in a destructive mood. Think Gert’s is a hole? Knock it down and start again. Hate Marriot foods? Fire ‘em and bring in their evil clones, M irabel. D on’t like the D aily?

Bum it. Oh, how change has shak­ en our little Sherbrooke p lay­ ground.

L et’s face it, these actions have amounted to zilch. We are still behind Queen’s in the survey and I still can’t get a decent chick­ en burger anywhere on campus.

Where to go from here? Why not put our negative energy towards usurping the real culprits of our sorry state - the pseudo-intellectu­ als.

If you’ve ever taken a class at •"iMr’Mmm~*V»V• • • • ** t ••

McGill, you’re familiar with these despicable characters. They usually come from families so arrogant that even the Bradys would want to whip their asses. In grade school, they corrected the teacher’s long division errors. In high school, you could usually find them smoking menthols outside, whining about being misunderstood. When every­ one else was doctoring their licens­ es so they could sneak into strip joints (or so I’ve heard people do), these dogmatic dudes were writing poetry about death for ‘open mike night’ at places called Susan’s or The Parisian Tea House.

These people can quote Nietzsche at will. They can give you ten quick reasons why capital­ ism is sinful. These folks drink caf-

feinated coffee so they can stay up all night doing the supplementary readings. They don’t watch televi­ sion, not even Thursday night heaven. Jeanne d’Arc over Jennifer Aniston? These insurgents must be stopped.

The following are character sketches of the four generic types of smart-guy suspects. If you ran into any members of this keener cabal, do not attempt to apprehend them. These sorry students not only possess a wealth of superficial knowledge, they’re not afraid to use it to bore you.

1. Alex Trebek wannabe The class is cruising along, the professor is bringing you to levels of consciousness you didn’t think were attainable without intoxicants, and up goes the hand. It’s the sly intellectual in the front row. “Um, Professor,” he or she articulates with precision, “what did Locke think about this movement?”

These morons ask preplanned questions, à la Trebek, looking smart even though they’re not. The inquiries are invariably frivolous

and obnoxious. An alex-in-the-box will usually pop up anywhere from eight to ten times per lecture.

2. Mr. Rogers Like the effeminate idol, these pseudo-intellectuals just want to be friends. The target of their affec­ tions, however, is their trusting professor. Watch them go to office hours just to talk politics. Look at them cozying up to the teacher in hopes that they may one day be on a first name basis with their brainy leader. Laugh as they take the clever professor’s tweeds and cor­ duroys to the dry cleaners.

3. Engels Kind of like the Mr. Rogers type, these characters think they’re the Engels to the professor’s Marx.

In short, they’re under the delusion that they are the instructor’s equal.

You’ll find them in the middle rows, usually playing with their unshampooed knee-length hair. In between the professor’s sentences they’ll mumble comments as if to support their colleague. Taking no notes because of the redundancy of the material, they’ll chip in a “mak­

ing it a constitutional crisis” here and a “like W oodsw orth said” there. By the end of the class, you'll want to teach them a lesson.

4. The face-mover This is the worst kind of stu­ dent snob. The face-mover honest­ ly believes they know more than the professor. To show their disap­ proval, these characters contort their ugly mug every time they dis­ sent with the lecturer. The facemover is especially sensitive to comments about popular culture, sometimes even tugging at their goatee when this abhorrent element is mentioned. I sometimes dream of pouring a hot bucket of acid, Gatorade shower style, over the face-mover in my class.

There you have it, fellow vic­ tims. These bloated egos are threat­ ening to destroy the sanctity of our fine institution. All we can do is be alert, be cautious and above all, never stop mocking them.

Ted Frankel d o e sn ’t go to class ‘cuz everybody there is too intellectual.

November 21st, 1995

Page 10

Table for one: the perils of the student who eats alone B y M arlisa T iedemann

Remember eating in res? If you didn’t partake in this (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime experience, let’s fill you in on what you missed.

You would have to wait in line, for what seemed like hours, and once you made it past the meal card checker, you would find that “risi bisi”, that dreaded peas and rice combo, was the meal in store for you.

You had a wide range of foods from which to choose, and some inexperienced firstyears were often over­ whelmed by this. What sense did it make to have the desserts at the front of the line, anyway?

However, having been warned about the dread­ ed “freshman fifteen”, you refrained from taking those three extra desserts in place of your well-balanced main dish. Sure, the food never tasted that great, but the advantages were that a) it was always hot (well, lukewarm depend­ ing on what was being served), b) you didn’t have to cook it yourself, and c) you didn’t have to do the kitchen clean-up.

Nonethless, you choose not to waste a second year in the dorm, as you were excited at the prospects of doing everything yourself. But cooking for yourself wasn’t quite as straight-forward as you thought it would be, was it?

Joan Hickey, a nurse at McGill’s Health Services, revealed that many students have dietary con­ cerns, especially if they live alone.

“They’re away from their par­ ents, in their own apartment. A lot

Another sans-roommate student is well known for his home-made soups. If you are under the weather, you can expect more than canned chicken noodle soup from U1 eco­ nomic student Dave Garrison. One

of them just don’t know where to start. Kraft Dinner is such a staple for so many students,” she said.

Do all McGill students who live alone conform to this stereo­ type? Maybe it’s due to the culinary diversity in Montreal, but some stu­ dents seem to eat remarkably well.

Many were especially careful to not overlook the nutritional importance of a healthy dinner.

“I made chicken fajitas tonight,” U2 management student Mark Vujicic told the Tribune.

However, he wouldn’t expand on this because he claims to rely on “secret spices and sauces.”

lucky friend was invited to share a Mexican tomato soup, complete with crumbled tortilla chips at the bottom and coriander on top for colour.

But don’t be deceived into thinking that they always eat well, because like people who eat with roommates, these people have their share of nutritional black-outs.

“Once I ate a dozen eggs and a pound of bacon,” claimed Vujicic (who, incidentally, is not as large as his appetite would lead you to believe). “I do eat a lot, and maybe that’s why it’s easier not to have roommates, because they wouldn’t

T a ke a new direction in y o u r s tu d ie s !

As a member of a professional order, the Chartered Administrator sets himself apart by adding to his name the credentials C. Adm. However, his higher skills, that he makes available to customers and employers, give him an edge in the business world.

You can take a step ahead right now by becoming a member o f VOrdre des administrateurs agréés du Québec, the true management professionals.

Your future is in your hands, it’s up to you to seize the opportunities to make it successful.

AD N H ORDRE DES ADMINISTRATEURS AGRÉÉS DU QUÉBEC

1 8 0 0 4 6 5 -0 8 8 0

eat as much as I do and it wouldn’t be fair to share food.”

Despite occasional breakfast binges, Vujicic maintained that his first priority regarding food is quali­ ty. Does this mean that weekly visits to the metro station dollar store wouldn’t adequately cover his gro­ cery shopping?

Garrison never ceases to amaze his friends with his culinary abili­ ties. He laughed at the student stereotype.

“I think it’s true for some peo­ ple, but I think that there are just as many people who eat well as those who live off of Kraft Dinner.”

Pitfalls to cooking only for yourself? “I think it’s easier when you live alone to not sit down to eat, to just kind of grab stuff,” respond­ ed Garrison. “I have to make a real effort to sit down and put together an actual plate of food.”

Not bad so far, but then you come across guys like U2 engineer­

ing Dean Castronovo, whose eating habits go above and beyond the stereotype. Health for Castronovo is not a priority. He has a five-coffee, pack-a-day habit, never exercises, and lives on 99 cent pizza slices.

When he cooks, it’s invariably something of the pasta family. “If I’m feeling rich I’ll make a rosée sauce: canned tomatoes, tomato sauce, and cream cheese.”

Ironically, Castronovo doesn’t live alone, and he claimed his room­ mate is a gourmet cook. So much for the theory that it’s people who live (and cook) alone that end up in the shallow end of the nutritional pond. What advice would Health Services offer someone like Castronovo?

“Bottom line, we’d give him a copy of the Canada Food Guide,” replied Hickey. “I might send him to a nutritionist for which he’d have to pay, but one visit is usually all it takes.”

Attention: food shoppers!

You hate it. but you keep going back. The line-ups, the narrow aisles, the funny smell in the frozen food section... all a part of the Metro experience!

Sure, Campbell’s soup is the same everywhere you go, but those interested in breaking out of the pre-packaged food cycle should check out these stores and eateries.

La Chillenita (4348 Clark): discover delicious Chilean empanadas, biscuit-like pastry filled with different meat and vegetable combinations. You can get 6 for $ 10.

Pushap (5195 Paré, near Jean Talon): this family hole-inthe-wall makes the best somosas in the city.

The Atwater Market (bottom of Atwater street): the Fromagerie cheese shop on the ground level has the best prices, a huge selection and an extreme­ ly knowledgeable staff; it makes the Vielle Europe look like a ripoff. Anyone seeking good spices, nuts and beans must go to Ramdas. This Caribbean store has every type of curry in exis­ tence, plantains, and other Indian (east and west) foods you could ever need.

S. Miguel (St-Urbain, near Villeneuve): we can all smell

t/3 as <\ UJ Fif) • Q O O ttm < U tfi

Waldman’s but this place, though limited in selection, has cheaper fresh fish and seafood.

Fromentier ( 1375 Laurier East): this bread bakery carries fabulous and original breads and buns. The range goes from chocolate-nut to onion-goatcheese loaves. Even if all you want is good sour-dough, it’s still worth your while to make the trip north.

Milano (6862 St-Laurent): products like Italian cheeses, sausages and pastas at better prices than in speciality stores.

SAQ en Vrac (2021 Des Futailles, 253-6244): if you bring 12 of your own wine bottles, they can be filled up with decent table wines for approximately $60. Bottles can also be pur­ chased there for $0.50 each.

Fainnount agel (Fairmount): this street’s bagels are beginning to rival the St-Viateur establish­ ment. A dozen poppy or sesame bagels cost approximately $3.50.

Monas (4565 Parc Ave.): this store supplies restaurants with everything from pots and pans to specialised kitchen implements.

Andes (4387 St-Laurent): you can find most ingredients for South American recipes at this store.

— Sylvie Babarik

B R O C H E T T E R IE

a

ALEXAN D RE Greek and Italian cuisine

w.\

v

^

Special Table d'Hôte ^ starting at $7.95

73 Prince Arthur east • Tel: 845-6545 'Coupon valid only with purchase of 2 à la carte meals with McGill student I.D. card.

Reserve NOW for Xmas! Reserve NOW for Xmas!

03 O 3

PI tr 2

I

November 21st, 1995

u

0

Page 11

The beauty of M ontreal’s BYOBs tainly acquainted with the joys of A m elio’s Italian delights (201 Restaurants can lift simple Milton). If your stomach craves a nourishment to the level of “eating m eatless treat, then the veggie experience”... for those who have lasagna will more than satisfy you. the means. One way to lighten the However, if you are armed with a financial load of eating out is to bottle of red, you are sufficiently equipped to deal with the heavily delicious five-cheese pizza.

Another pizza/pasta place is A1 Dente (5768 Monkland). If you do not have wheels, the trip to NDG may not prove worthwhile, for the quality of this BYOB can vary.

Generally, choosing from the table d’hôte is the best deal — a soup or salad, pasta or pizza, and coffee usu­ ally ranges from $8.50 to $11.50. The safest bet for the dis­ criminating palate is probably the pizza.

The wood oven means that the cook basically has to burn your order to hurt it. Their pastas can also be very good Montreal has a slew of BŸÜ, — if the table d’hôte explore Montreal’s “bring your own does not impress, you can mix and match your pastas and sauces. booze” scene.

People of the ghetto are cer­ However, their ingredients seem to B y S y l v ie B a b a r ik

have experienced a marked decrease in quality over the last year or two.

N onetheless, if you have a big group driving into Montreal for a visit, and wine is too great an expense, Al Dente is still worth the trip... for those not driving of course!

Those who like the meatier, cream ier side of Italian cuisine might be satisfied with Tony du Sud, an old-style restaurant near the comer of St-Laurent and Fairmount (25 Fairmount). Anyone looking for a good penne arrabiata should con­ sider this spot, as it uses fresh pep­ pers. Oven pastas such as cannelloni and manicotti are other safe bets. A word of wisdom: when you are done with your dinner and wine, turn the comer onto St-Laurent and head towards Kilo or Café Eldorado for desert. (Sorry Tony, the neighbours’ cakes are among the best in the city.)

Back on the east side of the McGill world, Prince Arthur is still a good place to explore. Many of this street’s BYOBs are Greek, but if it’s garlic you’re craving, you should have enough of a choice between the various casas and cabanes.

Heading north on St-Denis, you hit Chez Lien. This Vietnamese restaurant cannot brag about its quality relative to some of

RECIPE CON 1S t Prize Pasta in Oil and Spices Sauce

This is a recipe for a dish that I first sampled at the fine Roscoe Diner in Roscoe, NY. I approached the chef, demanding that he reveal to me the scintillating ingredients of this palate-pleaser.

1 bag fresh semolina pasta 1 heaping tbsp basil 1 heaping tbsp salt 1 heaping tbsp pepper 1 heaping tbsp oregano 1 heaping tbsp garlic powder 1 gallon pure virgin olive oil 3 tbsp Durkies Red Hot Sauce To taste, Kraft grated parmesan cheese In a large pot, cook spaghetti. Delicately add each ingredient. Stir.

Serves one. Bon appétit!

2nd Prize

Stick your pizza crust in the oven for 10 minutes at 200°. Grate the block of mozzarella. Dice the apple and pear, removing the cores.

Sprinkle grated cheese all over pizza crust. Dump pesto sauce onto cheese. Throw diced apples and pears at crust. Sprinkle cinnamon over apples and pears. Oven it for 20 minutes at 300° or until well cooked (looks brownish).

3rd Prize

This study, “The W est of tors for heart attacks...We want to Scotland Coronary Prevention prevent the first heart attack,” said Study” (WOS), was presented at a Lam, who earned his M.D. from scientific meeting of the American the McGill Faculty of Medicine.

In 1994, another statin, sim­ Heart Association last week in vastatin, was shown to reduce the Anaheim, California he fight against high choles­ Dr. Jules Lam, cardiologist at risk of death from heart disease, as terol and heart disease is constantly getting better. A the Montreal Heart Institute, was well as the overall mortality in with pravastatin, and people with established heart dis­ class of drugs called the statins involved are to the Tribune after his ease. These findings were present­ proving to be effective bothspoke in ed in the “Scandinavian reducing cholesterol and the risk return from Anaheim.

Simvastatin Survival Study” (4S).

“A fair number of people in of heart disease.

The statins are a class of Quebec fall into this category: Continued on Page 12 » drugs that are used to reduce cho­ high cholesterol and high risk faclesterol levels. A high level of cho­ lesterol is a major risk factor in heart disease, heart attacks and stroke.

FA M ILY S P O N S O R S H IP In last w eek’s issue of the IN V E S T O R S P R O G R A M New England Journal o f Medicine, researchers from the University of S K IL L E D W O R K E R S P R O G R A M Glasgow published the results of a EN TREPREN EU RS PROGRAM study that dem onstrated some If you or your friends/relatives are studying at the university effects of a member of the statin level and would like to obtain permanent residence status family, pravastatin. Pravastatin (Canadian Visa) in order to be able to stay in Canada, or would reduced the risk of a heart attack like to lift conditions from an existing visa, we can assist you by 31 per cent, and the risk of death by 22 per cent in people with or them in doing so! no history of heart disease.

CALL FOR CONSULTATION FROM 10:00 AM TO 5:00 PM Previously, studies involving cho­ Charles Maisonneuve lesterol-reducing drugs were car­ tel: ( 514 ) 286-4231 fax: (514 ) 286-2920 ried out with people who had a CANAMO INVESTMENT AND IMMIGRATION CORPORATION history of heart disease.

This finding, and previous ASPRI, ASPRI & OUELLET, NOTARIES ones involving other statins, may 1981 AVENUE McGILL-COLLEGE be comforting to approximately 4 SUITE 465 “ m illion C anadians who have a Montréal, Québec, H 3 A 2 W 9 M cG ill high risk of suffering heart attacks due to hi gh levels of cholesterol.

T

IMMIGRATION TO CANADA

Krispy Explosion R & R Eats

1 metal pan 1 microwave 1 Hershey’s chocolate bar 20 marshmallows 1 handful Rice Krispies

Closing in on cholesterol B y Stephan Patten

Pesto Pear Pizza

Pizza crust (no sauce!) from Metro 400g mozzarella cheese 1 tbsp cinnamon 1 pear 1 apple 4-8 tbsp pesto sauce

Continued on Page 12

The statins: a class o f drugs prescribed to lower cholesterol are proving to be effective in reducing heart disease mortality

ÏS’"

Put chocolate, marshmallows and Rice Krispies in metal pan. Put metal pan in microwave for 5 minutes. Sit back and watch. Let cool, eat.

Ed. note: The Tribune is not liable for any recipe-related injury

Honorary mention

kd

à la Dave

Prepare KD (personally 1 prefer the swirly shapes to the elbow shapes). Add jalapeno pepper.

r

McGiii W o rk tftudu P rogram

The Student Aid Office is pleased to announce the continuation of the W ork Study Program for the 1995-96 academ ic year! In addition to our regular funding, the Science Undergraduate Society has made a special contribution to the W ork Study Program to create new positions in the Faculty of Science for science students.

WHAT IS WORK STUDY? It is a program that provides part-time on-campus employment for full-time degree students who demonstrate financial need.

Eligible employers will benefit from subsidized labour costs when work study students are hired.

HOW DO I APPLY? W ork Study student applications and brochures are available at the Student Aid office on both campuses. Applications must be returned to the Student Aid office by: Ja n u a ry 5th, 1996.

OFFICE OF STUDENT AID & INTERNATIONAL STUDENT ADVISER

L

P ow ell B u ild in g, 3 6 3 7 P eel St., R oom2 0 0

Page i2 F ea tu res

November 21st, 1995

Statins: a line of drugs that lower cholesterol » Continued from Page 11

“[The WOS] study will have little impact on what we do. The 4S study was a spectacular trial,” said Dr. Peter McLeod, professor of Medicine and Pharmacology at McGill. “I haven’t seen any data

that suggests that [pravastatin] is any different from the other statins in terms of benefit to patients.”

Pravastatin and simvastatin are what McLeod calls “me too drugs” — drugs that all fall within the same class, do the same basic thing, and are only slightly differ­

ent.

In fact, pravastatin and sim­ vastatin do slow the body’s natural production of cholesterol in the same way — they turn down the tap, an enzyme called HMG CoA reductase. This enzyme is a vital step along the assembly line of

cholesterol synthesis.

Slowing down the synthesis of cholesterol with the use of choles­ terol reducing drugs is necessary only for certain people.

Dr. Peter Jones, director of the School of Dietetics and Human Nutrition, noted that exercise and a proper diet could be used to reduce cholesterol in many cases. Those individuals who have a genetic predisposition to cholesterol or those who cannot lower their cho­ lesterol levels by dieting receive further treatment.

“We’re taking in too much fat.

If we slow down the natural pro­

duction [of cholesterol with pravastatin] we’re back to where we should be,” he said.

Jones also points out that we still do not know the long term effects of taking pravastatin and that a “relapse effect”, where the body starts compensating for the drug, may also be an important consideration.

M cLeod is also looking beyond the study for encourage­ ment. “[The WOS study] has inter­ esting data,” he said. “But the trial has to stand the criticism of the scientific community.”

BYOB restaurants... >1 Continued from Page 11

the more expensive Asian alterna­ tives — but taste buds seeking spice, or peanut sauce, will be appeased in the modest little dining room.

For further explorations into Vietnamese BYOBs, try Duluth.

L’Amandine, La Vietnamienne, Nguyen and L’Harmonie D’Asie are a few of the restaurants from which you can choose.

You may automatically associ­ ate high cost with French restau­ rants. Even in the BYOB realm this conception is founded. Still, being able to pick your own SAQ French helps in this domain. One favourite is Bistro L’Entrepont (4622 Hotelde-Ville). This quiet restaurant will win the hearts of lovers of good feuilleté pastry and chèvre chaud fans. Their table d’hôte generally ranges from $16 to $20.

In the same area is Le Parigot (330 Mont-Royal), if you have ever wanted to try horse meat... On a lighter note, the fish dishes, particu­ larly the filet of sole, are classic.

However, if you or your eating part­ ner tend toward vegetarianism, do

not waste your time at this parisianstyle restaurant.

Warm weather eaters should know about the Brazilian/Mexican combination of Lele da Cuca (70 Marie-Anne est). The house spe­ cialities are Amazonian wonders like spicy marinated mango and fish, shrimp, and coconut combina­ tions. Though vegetarians can eat well, this tiny restaurant also tends towards the carnivorous side of nourishment.

If you feel like wandering, head north to Puca Puca. You would not suspect that a restaurant with such a strange name could be so popular. But if you do feel like experimenting with Peruvian food, make reservations before you make the trip. This fish, chicken, and potato spot is not actually a BYOB. However, because the wines they sell are at SAQ prices, you can still avoid the times-three price that other restaurants charge.

When all is said and done, the best BYOB is still home. Pick a couple of good cheeses, a fresh baguette, your favourite red, and life will be complete.

i

The ISIC, the o n e and only card you’ll need.

I n a d d itio n to 40% off a n y e c o n o m y s e a t, a n y w h e re , a n y tim e w ith VIA R ail, a n IS IC c a n s a v e y o u h u n d r e d s o f d o l l a r s o n a c c o m m o d a tio n , a d m i s s i o n s to m u s e u m s a n d c u l t u r a l a t t r a c t io n s , a n d a w h o le h o s t o f o t h e r v a lu a b le p r o d u c ts a n d s e r v ic e s a c r o s s C a n a d a a n d a r o u n d t h e w o rld .

D ro p b y the IS IC issu in g

L™

P % TRAVEL CUTS

o u t m ore.

V o yag es C am p u s 3 4 8 0 r u e M c T a v is h 3 9 8 -0 6 4 7

ÿ ïï

perform ed on fh t o f e » 3MÊÏB indjjding G reat V.I.P.Service at M fo s d A ll M a jo r B ^ J M j* ifc Disposable (âQGÔDGO M Jusi& tej)0 GTC/IF/from $

m f VOYAGES CAMPUS

a gen t n e a re st y o u to f in d

Ɯ

8 9 5 , r u e d e la G a u c h e t iè r e 9 8 9 -2 6 2 6

1115, rue Sherbrooke ouest

Tél.: (514| 844-8777

November 21st, 1995

E n t e r t a in m e n t

Page 13

Small wonder: less is more in The Small Play B y M arc G illiam

It’s not easy being small. Just ask Joel Miller, who spoke at the gala premiere of P.O.V. Productions’ The Small Play.

Miller, the founder of the English Language Theatre Company (which started in 1991 but was on hiatus for most of this year), admits to the disadvantages of their size. At

She playfully persists in c a llin g Jim m y “sm all h olding s” for reasons related less to his business than to pleasure. times, it is difficult to maintain their mandate for contemporary works written, performed by and, unavoid­ ably, aimed at Montrealers.

But being small has its perks, too. As Miller predicts, the growing canon of short P.O.V. works will be easier to assemble into a compilation to export to the rest of the country.

The Small Play is also part of a greater whole called the “Seduction

Cycle” which includes the upcoming wife emerges, forcing Skai to con­ staging of The Mandrake next week. vince herself that she has not fallen Both comedies deal with the act of for a man years her senior. (Still, she seduction. As the evening demon­ playfully persists in calling Jimmy strated, you do not have to be big “small holdings” for reasons related and flashy to be attractive — good less to his business than to pleasure.)

Meanwhile, Jimmy’s son is tor­ things come in small packages. The small production company pulled in an audience that left charmed.

The Small Play docu­ ments a man named Small trying to get things right.

Canadians Jimmy Small (Harry Standjofski), the manager of investm ent agency Small Holdings, and Skai (Danette MacKay), a masseuse, journey home from Los Angeles together, sharing their troubles along the way.

In the past, Jimmy has been known to steal his son’s money to get deals off the ground, and Skai almost (accidentally) shot and killed her boyfriend. There Short people and big action. is a dangerous, seductive power between the two actors that mented by crazed dancer Lizzie Haze (Chip Chuipka), who claims to makes for great chemistry.

Jimmy and Skai stop in Toronto have been cheated by Jimmy. These for a funeral, where Jimmy’s ex- two share almost as many scenes as

Jimmy and Skai, and are just as dynamic together.

Clearly, Simon Sachs’ story has many chances to tickle the funny bone and several moments shine with comic success. The actor’s deliveries of a flowing script lets the

audience get swept away in the inherent humour of everyday situa­ tions.

The characters may all be uno­

riginal, (Jimmy plays an amazing George Castanza, Skai portrays the generic LA woman, and Lizzie’s insane dancing man schtick...well, Twin Peaks has the rights on this one) but, in this case, the perfor­ mance is more important than the character. Simply, these actors per­ form to carry the script, and they do it well.

The ending arrives with a jolt.

It may seem sudden because the seduction has quickly run its course.

Or maybe, since the repartée of everyday dialogue never really ends, the play cannot have an ending that is both realistic and graceful. In either case, someone’s been seduced — be it the characters or the audi­ ence. Or both. Small wonder.

6 The Small Play runs fro m November 16th to the 20th.

Tickets are $8 on Tuesdays and Sundays, $20 fro m Wednesday to Saturday, and $1 for students. Reservations can be made by calling Théâtre la Chapelle at 8437738

The 13 Engines: Can-rock crusaders talk about music, poetry, and mud C ritch ley: In G im li we played SunFest. It’s was like the w orst segm ent of a Tragically Alas, the days of the Nmm Hip audience all concentrated.

Nmm’s are gone. Maybe it’s just One guy had a backpack and a as well. Still, with lots of hype hose coming out of his fly, people cram m ed into a few tight days would kneel and drink out of his consisting of, for the most part, hose. They were just out of their mediocre talent, there were a cou­ m inds. We felt like we could ple b ands th at m ade this have p u lled dow n our overblown festival worth pants and shit on the b illin g : B utch V ig ’s stage and it w o u ld n ’t Garbage and, of course, “Beyond all the grand philosophising, have made any difference 13 Engines. if it d oesn’t rock then there’s so m e­ in the w orld. It had 13 E n g in es are old rained super-heavy and kids on the b lo ck and thing fundam entally m issing.” there was this big pit of have carved many faces mud... I ju st wanted to on the tour totem pole. have something happen because Five albums deep, with the new level.

Tribune: And the song writ­ nothing was happening through one, Conquistador, enjoying its p lay in g . I su ggested people second single “Tailpipe Blues”, ing process?

Critchley: “Zone” is a semi- shouldn’t be afraid of the mud Engines carried some much-need­ autobiographical song about the and maybe throw it at their neigh­ ed clout to the stage of Fouf.

John C ritchley, the band’s process. I started to write songs bour. In my quest to be politically singer-guitarist-w riter-producer to get to the place w here the correct I included, “or us.” In five drew deeply on a de Maurier in zone’s supposed to happen. There minutes the stage was covered, the moody atmosphere of the pre­ are certain times when and on I and they started hauling off our show hours, and settled in for the reflect. The frustrating thing is eq u ip m en t m idstream into understanding why it happens or M enefreghista. Security guards interview.

T ribune: W hat kind of why it isn’t happening now. It’s were offering $50 to the promot­ like the muse. It’s nice while it ers to get me alone for 5 minutes ! album is Conquistador?

C ritch ley: W ell, our la st lasts and you hope it w on’t go Thing is, we probably sold more albums the next day then we ever album , P erp e tu a l M otion away but you know it will.

Tribune: Do you draw any have in our life.

M achine, was doom -laden and Tribune: What’s your over­ brooding. Conquistador is more inspiration from external sources?

C ritch ley: Y eah. I w rote all feeling about that scene? external looking. If Motion was Critchley: If there’s going to our dark rom antic album, then “ V e rm ilio n ” a fte r reading The F rench be mistakes I’d just rather make this o n e’s Fauvism is in some B au d elaire. ways a rebellion against the last. Symbolist poetry has a lot of vio­ them myself. Ultimately its rock A Blur To Me Now was our clas­ len t, lurid im agery. M uch of and roll. It’s pop music: a dispos­ able m edium . B eyond all the sics album. That was classic rock, that’s going on in the song.

T ribune: Any anecdotes grand philosophising, if it doesn’t (laughs) T ribune: You once said from the road? I heard there was rock then there’s something fun­ damentally missing.

“Songs to me are about poetry an incident in Manitoba...

B y D ave M orris

and emotion”. Are they still?

Critchley: I’ve always been attracted to music that has a cer­ tain d arkness to it: L eonard Cohen, Neil Young, Lou Reed.

With Conquistador, the songs are m ore co n cise, m ore stripped down, more oblique. Hopefully they can be enjoyed on a visceral

Getting Rude Ironically, the greatest chal­ lenge facing black filmmakers in Canada has very little to do with film. Rather, it is a matter of national boundaries. With big budget African-American produc­ tions dominating the corpus of black film, it can be difficult for emerging Canadian directors not to conflate their visions with those of Lee, Singleton and oth­ ers.

T oronto-based film m aker Clem ente Virgo takes up this challenge as both a blessing and a curse. His new release, Rude, travels — albeit unintentionally — back and forth across the fortyninth parallel, showcasing charac­ ters and situations that either echo popular African-American senti­ ments or boldly declare a new, decidedly Canadian aesthetic.

Rude takes the form of three non-intersecting storylines.The central is a tired tale of pistolwielding drug dealers. Luke, the main character, is home from serving time in prison, and must put to rest deep ambivalences he has towards the drug world he once inhabited. His police officer wife, Jessica, warns him that the slightest indiscretion will cut him off from her and their little boy.

An uncom plicated narrative ensues, as Luke’s existential crisis of m asculinity is grossly indulged.

Homophobia is the theme of the second plotline. Jordan, a gift­ ed boxer, dedicates himself to the

practice of his sport, hoping to distract himself from his unde­ clared homosexuality. One night, a group of machos from his gym decide to go gay-bashing. Jordan feels compelled to join. While the influences on this story can be easily traced to British filmmaker Isaac Julien’s Young Soul Rebels, there are a couple of notably orig­ inal portrayals. One is of a selfaware gay man who refuses to be victim ized and confronts his attackers. The other is of a ‘wanna-be b lack ’ white guy whose appropriations of gangstastyle lingo and m annerism s reduce him to little more than a buffoon.

Virgo’s arthouse bend comes through in the third narrative. He uses home video images, washes of colour, fragmented sequences with minimal dialogue, and, the coup de grace, a pretty little spirit child who dances across the screen. The effect is so beautiful that one can almost forget the possible pro-life connotations.

The strategy of multiple plotlines suits Rude’s purposes quite well. Transitions between the nar­ ratives are facilitated by recurring visits to a female DJ, Rude, who talks revolution through poetic monologues laced with sex and profanity.

Though Rude (the DJ) has progenitors in films ranging from Pump Up the Volume to Do the Right Thing, this changeling suc­ ceeds in bringing the character, and the m essage, right back home.

Page h E n te r ta in m e n t

November 21st, 1995

D r a m a t ic P a u s e s : T h e a t r e a t M e t*ill The Children’s Hour and the evils of youth and prejudice B y Joyce Lau

In her portrayal of Lillian Heilman’s “the wicked very young and the wicked very old”, director Meredith Caplan is perhaps more convincing than the playwright her­ self.

The Children’s Hour is among the finest of M cGill dramas.

Veering away from the blunted over-dramatisations of most stu­ dent productions, Player’s Theatre achieves a sympathetic and unpre­ dictable tragedy.

The cast overcom es the script’s contrived dialogue and staging tactics. Furthermore, the production as a whole takes full advantage of the text’s labyrinthine strategy of theme and narration.

Heilman masterminds a fluxuating system of power plays and social standards. These are well constrained by the venerable walls of the Wright-Dobie School for Girls, as well as by the seemingly absurd sensibilities of its matrons (think rural Britain, circa 1935).

Without ever allowing the dia­ logue to delve into the realm of the obvious, Heilman places homosex­ uality in a jarringly heterosexual world, a very straight male in an exclusively fem ale-created and inhabited estate, as well as a core of adults in a society of children.

But most im portantly, Heilman

places a child in an adult arena she strong and believable, the can not understand, but one she has bystanders are intelligent and sigmonstrously changed. nifigant and the ‘perpetrators’ are Mary T ilford (Jessica despisable, though tragically mis­ Greenberg) is a brilliant, demonic led. pre-teen who manipulates little At some point, each of the schoolgirl peers with a bravado too daring for an adult. After ensuring that her classmates are firmly under her control, Mary turns to planting allegations of ‘unlawful sexual knowledge’ between the founders of the school, Karen W right (Jean G laister) and M artha Dobie (Meredith Evans). The main conflict of the play arises when these allegations reach the ears of M ary’s elderly aunt, Mrs. A m elia T ilford (Jennifer Finestone), a prestigious school matron.

Karen and Martha are best friends, attractive, single, liber­ al minded ladies, less than a decade out of college. When they are introduced, there is a Audiences aren’t begging fo r mercy. hint of indigience and irra­ tionality in Martha, while Karen is central characters is pressured to slightly cloying in her maternalistic tic take a decisive stand — and almost nature. By the end of the play, they ey every time, (s)he makes one to the are almost rendered statuesque in detriment of others. Mary, ruled by their final stand. the self-convinced mind of a young A versitile cast creates charac­ tc- compulsive liar, insists that her ters who develop throughout the he allegations are true. Mrs. Tillford play with great charisma, allowing ng succombs to her prejudices and the drama to move beyond simple )le blindly supports her youthful niece, moral dichotomy. The victims are ire Dr. Joseph Cardin (Jamie Elman) is

so adamant in his love for Karen that he denies he ever even suspect­ ed the allegations of lesbianism.

The actions of the characters never betray the unpredictability of the plot.

The Children’s Hour is not a humourless play, and speaks more of naive denial than of betrayal.

Both Mrs. Lily M ortar (Jessi Baden) and school girl Peggy Rogers (Lori Chodos) are virluently harmful as the witnesses who fear testim ony. Mrs. M ortar is ingeniously decked out as an over­ aged and inapproprate superstar,

while the bespecled and ill-coiffed Peggy is a shy-turned-hysterical youngster.

While the mood of the first two acts is marked by the omni­ scient frenzy of children, the intensely quiet third act fea­ tures the adults as victims.

This production’s only major disappointment is the re-editing of the last act.

The elongagted conversa­ tion which marks the last confrontation between the accuser and the accused is gravely cut short.

On one hand, the rewriting of the text allows the play to come to a much cleaner end. On the other hand, it sim plifies Heilman’s thematic closure.

In Player’s Theatre’s ver­ sion, the victim never acknowledges the regrets of her aggressor. The audience is never allowed to pity an old woman who will always be burdened by the hell child she loves.

C to The Children’s Hour plays from Nov. 21-25, at 8 p.m. at Shatner. Tickets are $12/$6 for students. Call 398-6813 for reservations.

King Lear falls short despite actors’ efforts B y Ian W atson

Shakespeare’s tragedy, King Lear, has defeated artists who have spent their entire lives in the theatre.

For students to present the play is an act which rests somewhere between supreme courage and naive folly.

Unfortunately, the McGill English Department production of King Lear is ill-directed, and the collosal efforts of the actors are undermined.

Harry Anderson’s direction, the design, and the coaching consistent­ ly create a production that general­ izes or interferes with subtleties of the text. As a result, the actors pro­ vide only general emotional ‘wash­ es’ or attitudes. At times, they are painted so thickly the text is incom­ prehensible.

Goneril’s elaborate declaration of love for her father Lear drips with undisguised irony and evil.

The question arises, ‘If the audience sees through her, why doesn’t he?’

There is no need to point out this irony. By doing so, what she says is obscured. This emotional telegraph­ ing by the actors happens through­ out the production, and prevents the audience from getting a full under­ standing and appreciation of the story.

Anderson’s blocking of scenes indicates his lack of understanding of Shakespeare’s text and the basic requirements of a dramatic scene.

Many of the confrontational moments begin with the actors in close proximity to one another. As a result, while Shakespeare’s text develops, the actors have nowhere a A *

to go, dramatically or physically.

Perhaps Anderson thinks this is dra­ matic. It is not. It is deathly dull.

The debilitating proximity among actors is seen throughout the pro­ duction. The result is unnatural stage pictures that strangle any of the natural ebb and flow dynamics which Shakespeare’s scenes con­ tain.

All actors require some support in approaching the rhetorical diffi­ culties of Shakespearean language.

In this production, however, there is a notably lacking in the coaching.

For example, the stressing of per­ sonal pronouns often makes the thought expressed nonsensical. The actors gesticulate as if to point out the sub­ jects of their dia­ logue, indicating a lack of understanding of and faith in the text. There is an unnaturally even and laboured tempo for long stretches, with little sense of where a moment ends and where it begins.

Shakespeare’s charac­ ters think faster and hang on each other’s words much more than the actors have been taught to do.

Many of the actors do not speak in their own voices but adopt (what they per­ haps believe to be) Shakespearean voices. « o ' * 'é —

Such vocal artifice irredeemably cuts the actor off from any emotion­ al centre he or she might use. It denies them their greatest resource: themselves.

Some actors, despite the lack of directive help, exhibit proficiency.

Vince Bruni, as Gloucester, is wellgrounded throughout the evening.

He listens to the other actors — something in short supply in the production.

Luke Hutton has a vulnerable quality which well serves his perfor­ mance as Edgar. He is particularly good in the scenes with his father, the blind Gloucester.

Robert Aguirre-Sacasa, as the

Earl of Kent, is very clear, especial­ ly in the expository scenes with the messenger, Mauro Nunez.

Anthony Paré, Lear, is tremen­ dously fond of the grand, vocal ges­ ture, using a growling yet breathy, ominous voice for the darker ‘bits’ and a booming, thunderous voice for the loud, kingly ‘bits’. The result is a totally affected performance, a symphony of false notes. In the mad scenes, he is positively sprightly.

M agnificent speeches are made absolutely incomprehensible as he gives us his rendition of madness. If Paré focused on the text’s specifics, thought by thought, instead of try­ ing to show everything in spite o f the text, the audience would receive everything: pathos, rage, anguish, madness, and far more of Paré him­ self.

Lear is a play of elemental images: father, sister, brother, daughter, son, earth, wind, thunder, rain, the gods, etc. But the set is patently false; it is plywood made to look like stone, while the backdrop is made of solid flats painted to look like individual, rough-hewn boards.

The backdrop of fabric strips which replaces the flats in the second act is more effective simply because it is what it truly appears to be. To have King Lear played on an overdesigned and so blatantly false set undermines the play’s simple yet profound images and themes. From a practical standpoint, the set’s multi-levels create cramped playing areas and give no strong visual focus to the production.

The storm scene has long been

viewed, by academic and theatre professional alike, as a duet between the storm’s passions and man’s. In Anderson’s production, this does not happen. Rather, Paré’s Lear is forced to fight over a cacophony of sound effects.

The costumes are designed to reflect an Anglo-Saxon Britain, a decision not without m erit.

However, this period is beyond the abilities of Catherine Bradley and her staff. Again, the visual element undermines the strength of the text, and gives the production almost a comic book feel.

This production of King Lear stands as an example of the funda­ mental gap between academia and the approach required for a presen­ tation of a dramatic work. Anderson and his team have a grasp of the rudim entary requirem ents of a Shakespearean staging, but lack the ability to ask practical, specific questions of the text on all produc­ tion fronts. What is lamentable, is not bad or inappropriate choices.

Rather, the choices made suggest that the questions of the text have not been asked by the directorial team. In the meantime, these choic­ es obscure the text and hamper the efforts of a committed group of stu­ dents. i f t £ aKing Lear plays at M oyse Hall from November 15th18th, and the 22nd-25th.

Tickets are $12. $6 fo r stu­ dents . Call 398-6070. e l I > i » i •i

J t

i

-V

s i

. i

i i »

E n te r ta in m e n t page 15

November 21st, 1995

She said: Breaking the bad Bond The great white hope is trying to ride his own melting into the hearts of a post-modern society. If he succeeds, it will mean a reaffir­ mation of the colonialist, first world conspiracy that has plagued post­ cold war progress.

James Bond, the self-professed misogynist, the pro-capitalist martini drinker, the glorifier of all that is corrupt, is a lesson in false con­ sciousness. Much like an ‘opiate for the people’, his presence makes us

Bond d iscovers the foreign, the negative, through the cultural standards of the white m an’s hierarchy. believe that the status quo need not be questioned. He is a control mech­ anism of the elites to keep the work­ ing class staring at the medium.

Deconstructing the hypertext of meaning in a classic Bond plot pre­ sents a cultural monopolist’s wet dream. Bond’s components, and the reality they create, can only be described as an imperialist method of control — a validation of inter­ polation over self-actualisation the ideals of an ideology that can only lead to an unspo­ ken acceptance of struc turalist alienation.

The Bond girls, the pneumatic ‘b e a u tie s ’ that reaf­ firm an o p p re s­ sive aesthetic standard, push an iconological cult u r a 1 anorexia on female view­ ers and validate the ‘male gaze’. We are taught our main use and the method of our control is our sexuali­ ty. Names like “Pussy Galore,” and “Holly Goodhead,” not only limit women by their sexual difference but also condone their inferiority because of it. Bond controls women with his Lacanian phallus. He ‘con­ quers’ the Bond bad girl in the bed­ room, and subsequently blinds her from her mission, making her give up everything because of her depen­ dence on sexual gratification. The good Bond girls are always the Barbie-like stereotype of a Puritan ideal. Because all forms of sexual activity is a lesson in dominance, the subservience of women can only be avoided by abstinence.

Bond’s gun, an extension of his penis, a method of social and femi­ nine control, often makes appear­ ance in the bedroom. The sexual act is seen by the male as having to ‘conquer’ the female, an object that must be owned and controlled.

All that is foreign to the upperclass white male is negative. The criminals always have accents and deformities. Nick Nack (Herve “de plane! de plane!” Villechaize) in The Man With a Golden Gun, is a perfect example. Not only was he vertically challenged, he had a speech impedi­ ment. The white antagonists are

either nazis or communists, an easy and unquestioned target in Western World ideology. It is a misreconnaissance, helping to maintain the status quo by transferring the evils of society onto that which is foreign. This scapegoating (a need resulting from mimetic desire) transfers atten­ tion away from the real source of the problems — the social evils and malaise of an ideology that is sandwiched between heavy­ breasted beer com­ mercials and politi­ cians with shinier teeth than reputations.

Bond is an alco­ holic. He encourages viewers to d r o wn

out their sorrows and the oppres­ sion of their reality with martinis shaken, not stirred. The multiple subjectivities and fragmentations of self that a life in espionage engen­ ders, serve as a mirror of the immiseration fundamental to cold war con­ trol. The narcotic agent of the marti­ ni is at once a symbol of the sensedulling ritual that is the only source of meaning for the post-modem citi­ zen. And yet, the martini, (not beer, not whisky, not even a highball) is also a class divider, a symbol of wealth and breeding a distinct eco­ nomic signifier by which Bond remains above the viewer who iden­ tifies with the jones, but not, so to

speak, with the remedy.

Bond discovers the foreign, the negative, through the cultural stan­ dards of the white man’s hierarchy.

Negative elements are dis­ covered when they order red wine with fish.

The ‘bad’ are those who do not have the cultura1 curren­ cy with which to battle Bond. It is this nar­

row definition of ‘high class’ that perpetuates the distinction between the masses and the privileged, inner circle.

The Bond gadgets support the Industrial Revolution and the subse­ quent alienation of the proletariat.

The machinery that Bond employs are the shackles of a cold and for­ eign technical age. As workers become numbed to the creative process, see themselves without con­ nection to their life tasks, the Bond mission valorises these inventions as ‘life-saving’.

— Rachel Stokoe

M c Ç itf Chap Caincy Service is Lootqngfor Student VoCumteers for posting Chaplaincy events.

Some funding fl.vaita.6Ce T o r m o re in fo r m a tio n , c a tt3 9 8 -4 1 0 4

He said: Bond as meta­ clown - in defense of 007 Some of the neo-fascists in the cultural studies world have taken up the time-wasting venture of ‘debunking’ the traditional, patriarchal hero. That James Bond should fall under the butter knife of these “ren eg ad es” is truly unfortunate, for Bond as post­ m odern tragic hero is fertile ground for scholarly investigation.

The multiplicities of Bond’s subject render simplistic analysis of Bond as colonialist icon entire­ ly specious. If a person unfamiliar with the tropes of the Western cultural corpus were to examine the Bond phenomenon, several glaring in co n sistencies would appear within the cultural script.

F ir s tly , that Bond has taken the physical body of at least three popular actors (Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and now Pierce Brosnan) points to Bond as a meta-pathetic hero, a decon­ structed set of the most basic human attribut­ es, mechanical proof of the lie that is fiction.

The p ro ­ cess by which the psychic energy of a cin­ ema’s audience is m anipulated by Lacanian identifica­ tion (as the stru c­

turalist film critics would posit), is significantly weakened by extratextual identification with three ‘heroes’ (i.e. celebrities). As such, Bond’s place in the popular imag­ inary is entirely of the schizo­ phrenic art v ariety that has defined post-modern fiction, at least, for the past 30 years.

On a sim ilar note, the fact that the ‘Bond Girls’ are all of the in te rc h an g ea b le /in tern atio n a l bimbo variety, rarely attaining celebrity status (with the possible exception of U rsula A ndress, though it is unlikely that her star will be trod upon on Hollywood Boulevard any time in the near future), leads further to the con­ clusion that the Bond phenome­ non is a product of fear of the Moëbian sheath.

Witness Octopussy, wherein the female sexual organ is turned into a literal, Freudian threat.

James Bond (that is James/Bondmale power/constricted) is sur­ rounded by a phalanx of available women, but the gaze of the audi­ ence is alienated by the absence of celebrity correlative in objectify­ ing the woman. W ere it Uma Thurman or Sharon Stone, at least they would be on the same objec­ tive footing as Brosnan, but as they are, in fact meta-objectified, they function as utterly dehuman­ ised objects. In terms of “male gaze”, both Bond and the audi­ ence are denied pleasure — final evidence that Bond represents not the highest echelon of patriarchal overclass oppressor status, but is in fact a meta-clown, a testament to the bankruptcy and vapidity that defines every square inch of human activity.

— Kurt Newman

The McGill Choral Society

directed by M ary Jane Puiu @ on.eUatlcf ‘In vited tv

JO H N R U T T E R 'S

REQUIEM on N o vem b er 2 4 th , 1 9 9 5 , 7 : 3 0 pm StdÂùte eutd /tutenicau T in ted 6 4ve*tue du TKuaee c&ute* S6en&ioa6e) $5.00 Students / Seniors, $7.00 A dults; available at the door, S adie’s, S teve’s M usic Store, and M axim usique.

For Ticket Enquiries Information Please call: 398-6814

Page 16

November 21st, 1995

Redmen tie Ottawa, York; comeback cut short by Laurentian B y A dam and A lex

G rossman C hurchill

Redmen hockey started off a busy week with a feature article on head coach Terry Bangen in last W ednesday’s G azette.

The G a zette’s Pat Hickey was seen roaming the halls of Currie Gym in

search of both Coach Bangen and clues explaining the early success of this year’s Redmen squad.

The article chronicled Coach Bangen’s journey from the interior of British Columbia to the streets of Montreal.

Following Hickey’s article, the Redmen traveled to our

nation’s capital to face the Ottawa Gee-Gees.

Following a 3-2 victory two weeks ago against Ottawa, the Redmen came into the game confi­ dent, and skated to a 2-2 tie, to come home with a respectable 4-31 record overall.

The work continued Friday

o -c ■Q. .SJ £ York watched helplessly as the Redmen stormed back, erasing a three goal deficit.

night at the McConnell W inter Arena with the Redmen facing off against the York Yeomen. York jumped all over the Redmen in the early going, taking a 3-0 lead by the half way point of the second.

The scrappy Redmen squad, not known to take this sort of thing lying down, began to doggedly fight back. They had the Yeomen on the mat at 5-4 late in the third, only to see the Yeomen tie it up at five with nine seconds remain­ ing. A fruitless overtime saw nei­ ther team able to score, as McGill settled for a point. Redmen cap­ tain Todd M arcellus was the undisputed star of the game, key­ ing M cGill’s five unanswered goals with a natural hat-trick.

Again on Saturday, the Redmen felt the warmth of their home arena, despite a lacklustre mood of the crowd on hand. The Redmen raised their sticks against another Ontario based squad, Laurentian University.

In a rough, crowd-pleasing match, the Redmen dropped a heartbreaker to these Huns from the West by a score of 5-4.

Early in the first, the Redmen got into serious penalty trouble and fell behind 4-1 by the time the period had expired. With fire burning in their bellies, the Redmen came out hustling in the third. For the second consecutive

night, the Redmen rallied from a three goal deficit.

Three goals from the Redmen tied the game at four, at the mid­ way point of the third. However, this comeback went for naught as they dropped the game on a late Laurentian tally.

As the match was not clean, one incident might cause the CIAU to hand out suspensions to a Laurentian player, who decided it would be prudent to apply a double handed axe chop to the back of Martin Routhier’s calves late in the gam e. Does the name ‘Tonya Harding’ ring a bell?

In line for the Redmen this week are a pair of matches with great historic significance to the club and the hallow ed hall in which they ply their trade. On Tuesday night, M cGill and Concordia face-off for the 100th time over at the Beehive at the Loyola campus.

Saturday night, McGill will play the Les Patriotes de TroisRivières in front of what should be a packed house for the M cGill hockey home-coming. Already, 700 tickets had been pre-sold, and the Redmen are anticipating the first sell-out at the M cConnell Winter Arena since the 1989 play­ offs. Schedueled to attend are such luminaries as Dick Irvin, Brian O’Neil and Dr. Bob Broderick.

Redmen picking up the pace as pre-season comes to an end B y D ana T oering

the play of McGill’s back court and the impressive 87.5 per cent shoot­ ing from the foul line, as the Redmen were good on 21 of 24 attempts.

McGill forwards staring Johnston who had 11 points and 5 boards, followed by rookies Joel Baetz with 10 points and 6 rebounds, as well as by rookie Joel Pearlman who

The McGill Redmen basket­ ball team won two out of three games this weekend at the U niversity of Toronto M etro Classic improving their pre-sea­ son record to 5-8.

The Redmen played inspira­ tional basketball in the absence of all-star forward Chad Wozney, and managed a second place fin­ ish in Toronto. The back court was the story for the Redmen this weekend, as veteran Sam Mendolia led the McGill men to impressive wins over Ryerson and Lakehead.

In the first game of the tour­ ney, the Redmen lost to the host U of T Blues for the second time this season. They went down by a score of 73-51, after trailing by only 9 points at the half. The top scorers for the Red ‘n ’ White were all back court players. Rick Varisco led the charge with 11 points, while teammates Ryan Schoenhals and Sam Mendolia had 8 and 7 points respectively.

In replacem ent of the injured Wozney, who suffered a broken nose in the Redmen’s last tourney, McGill is looking to slam the competition this year. sophomore Mike Johnston filled Varisco was once again the scored 6 points and grabbed a strik­ in and scored 7 points.

In their second game, the scoring leader for the Redmen scor­ ing 10 rebounds.

The final game of the tourney Redmen took a 46-41 halftime lead ing 22 points, followed by fellow and never looked back. They beat back-courters Schoenhals with 15 was reminiscent of the ‘cardiac Ryerson by a score of 91-80. The and Mendolia with 12. The job up kids’ that took the court last year story of the game was once again front was handled by a plethora of for the Redmen.

With the Redmen down by one, and three seconds remaining on the clock, Sam M endolia stepped up to the foul line for the Redmen with two shots. With his

head between the vice, Mendolia proved that he will be a clutch play­ er for the Redmen this season as he drained both shots — giving the Redmen the silver, and a great vic­ tory. ...............................................

Mendolia ended the game with 14 points and 6 rebounds and was named to the All-Tournament team.

On the weekend, McGill’s diminu­ tive point guard had 33 points and 16 rebounds in three games.

Varisco and Schoenhals were again offensive forces scoring 14 points a piece while the Redmen’s ‘Big’ Johnston netted an impressive 14 and grabbed 7 rebounds.

The absence of Wozney and the Redmen’s success suggest a number of things for the new-look McGill Redmen. The first thing that this weekend proves is that when they have to play, the Redmen’s back court can play with the best. The leadership and scoring prowess displayed by Mendolia, Schoenhals and Varisco is evidence to suggest that the loss of the scor­ ing power up front will not be as detrimental as first speculated.

Furthermore, this weekend’s success proves that the Redmen have enough depth to make up for the loss of a key player like W ozney. The perform ances of inexperienced players like Johnston and rookies Pearlman and Baetz suggests that when called upon the Redmen bench will perform.

C CP £ 9The Redmen open the QUBL season at home to Bishop’s on N ovem ber 24 before a trip to Laval on November 2 6 :-....................-

November 21, 1995

S p O r t S Page 17

Martlets conclude pre-season with two wins over American schools B y Kashif Z ahoor

The M cG ill M artlets w om en’s basketball squad fin­ ished their pre-season tuneups w ith an 8-3 o v erall reco rd ,

worst defeat of the year by Siena College. The physical style of play, coupled with the sm aller gam eball used in the U .S. , allowed Siena College to take a 38-23 half-time lead.

buzzer had mercifully sounded, the Red ‘n ’ White found them­ selves on the losing end of 77-37 score.

M cG ill did not let the 40 point hum iliation of the night before affect the rest of the trip.

The Martlets turned the tables on their American counterparts in the second gam e o f th e ir NY tour. S quaring o ff against Columbia University (A division 1-Ivy League S chool), the Martlets lit up the scoreboard for 38 points in the first half alone, en route to a 23 point half-time lead. The Martlets rode their 23point cushion to a 74-60 win.

Gildenhuys returned to her norm al scoring output, as she poured in 30 points. Tessier fin­ ished with 14 points and grabbed nine rebounds.

After beating Columbia, the M artlets m arched into W est P oint, NY to face Arm y. The Martlets for the second game in a row, took a lead into the locker room at half-time. Tessier, Josée D eloretto and Jennifer Stacey paced the Red ‘n’ White with 14 point apiece. Lesley Stevenson cleaned the glass for six rebounds in 63-55 win over Army.

Although, M cGill notched another victory, the Martlets lost the services of Debby Morse for at least a game. Morse twisted her knee, and is questionable for the QUBL opener this Friday.

D o n ’t mess with Gildenhuys, ‘c u z she’ll eat you fo r lunch, man! including two wins last week south of the border.

M cG ill tra v e le d to New Y ork for three gam es against American universities.

In the opening contest, the Red ‘n ’ W hite su ffered th eir

M c G ill’s big guns w ere silen ced , as M artlet fow ards Anne G ild en h u y s and V icky T essier com bined for only 12 points. The McGill offense man­ aged an anemic 14 points in the second half. W hen the final

HatdoyoutW nkoT

The M artlets open league play this Friday at home against B ish o p ’s U niversity at 6 p.m. On Sunday, M cG ill continues league play against Laval in Quebec City at l p.m.

Martlet Hockey still looking fo r first win The McGill Martlets hockey team is still looking for that elu­ sive first win of the season as they extended their winless streak to 7 games. The Martlets lost by a 5-3 score to Westmount in an exhibi­ tion game on November 15.

Claire Sharpe scored her third goal of the season in the McGill effort while Anne Bishop and Carolyn Head both potted their first of the season. On November

Claire Sharpe, the Mario Lemieux, o f the McGill Martlets....

Martlet Synchro Swimming is sterling at OWIAA meet The OWIAA Figures Meet was held this weekend at McGill and the host Martlets finished with 20 points and a silver medal.

Q ueen’s won the meet with 21 points followed by Western in third with 17. McGill won the senior fig­ ures led by Julie Paris who won the gold over 17 com petitors. Jen Peterman won the bronze for the Martlets in the senior figures. In the intermediate figures, McGill’s top finishers were Tanya Handa who

1 0 , 0 0 0 $ - 1 5 ,0 0 0 $ / y e a r ?

Wednesday & Friday, 9 :0 0 - 10:30 Room 4 0 8 , Currie Gym Bldg.

student-teacher

partnership with

ratio ?

Co nco rdia i-iJ

U niversity?

This course examines the role of carbohydrates, fats, proteins, vitamins, minerals and w ater in a balanced diet.

Students will be introduced to the effects of nutrition on exercise, sport perform ance and wellness. The concept of wellness from an active living and stress reduction perspective will also be discussed.

th|e u n dergraduate student population 43 4-5 0 2 Y .6 1 - S ele cte d issu e s: S p o r t M e d ic in e fo r P h y s ic a l A c t iv it y S p e c ia lists

TOWARDS A NEW McGILL

Wednesdays 1 7 :0 0 - 2 0 :0 0 Room 1 5 2 , Currie Gym Bldg.

A ct now. GET INFORMED!

Are you interested in understanding the healing process of com m on sport injuries? A new course is being offered that focuses on these issues. Aimed at physical educators, coaches, trainers, and taught by sport medicine physicians, the course will review recent scientific developing in the rapidly growing field of sports medicine

The future is here. Let's talk about it.

J h e f id s U n d e r g r a d u a te S o c ie ty Mjgjfj.

“ /'c a m a n e w la n g u a g e m a k e a n e w f r ie n d . ”

English, français, espanol, etc.

F

u

B

a

K

C o m p u te r s an d O f f ic e F u r n itu r e

BUY* SELL «TRADE Computers Complete Colour PC - $199 + Printers- $69 +

cut in half: 2 0 ,0 0 0 - 1 0 ,0 0 0 ?

Wednesday, November 29th, 1 9 9 5 12:00 - 1 4 :0 0 , Leacock 2 32

T H E L IN G U IS T IC E X C H A N G E CLU 3

W IN TER 1996 4 3 4 -3 9 2 B .0 1 - N u t r it io n & W ellness

a strategic

finished 14th of 30 competitors and Tanya Gillis who finished 25th. In the novice figures, McGill’s top finishers were Shannon Bourassa, 4th of 19 and Line Dufresne, who finished 6th.

DEPARTMENT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION FACULTY OF EDUCATION

s u b s ta n tia lly h ig h e r tuition fe e s , a ten-to-one

17 the Martlets lost 4-0 at CEGEP St. Laurent. McGill goalie Lucie Fortin made an incredible 50 saves. The M artlets are 0-5 in QWIHL play and are 0-6-1 over­ all. They will play an exhibiton game at College B rébeuf on November 22 before closing out the first semester with a home game against the powerful Concordia Stingers on December 2.

Lasers - $199 + Laptops-$300 + Parts& Accessories

Office Furniture ComputerDesks Chairs

D e liv e r y A v a ila b le

34-0-1170 4 0 5 6 Jean Talon West (Near Victoria)

Page 18 S p O r t S

November 21st, 1995

Martlets lose on road, find their winning touch against Sherbrooke B y Jordana B erger

and a 2.37 passing efficiency, the same level as we do, so we while Anie de la Fontaine, one of will have to be really prepared,” The Martlet volleyball team the team’s co-captains, had 8 kills, said Head C oach R achelle came off a tough week. The Red 6 digs and 2 stuffed blocks. Beliveau. “It will be a battle for a ‘n ’ White played three of their Rookie Alexandra Ivanov had 4 playoff spot because both teams four games on the road. And the kills and an im pres­ have the potential to road was not kind to McGill, as sive 2.57 passing effi­ win. Essentially... the the M artlets dropped all three ciency. team that wants to Laval had their McGill has found gam es away from the friendly win the most will be confines of the Currie Gym. a formidable rival in way with McGill the one to advance in On Wednesday night, the No. this team , and will once again the playoffs.”

10 ranked Université de Montréal likely have a tough F rid a y ’s and defeated the No. 7 McGill in three year if both team s S atu rd ay ’s gam es straight sets, 15-12, 15-12 and 15- continue to play at the were both played level they are now.

3. against the powerful Université de “[Université de] Montréal is a Laval team, ranked second in the Rookie Wendy Whalen had 7 kills and 7 digs in a losing cause. very strong team, a very tough nation. The Martlets lost to Laval Catherine So had 2 aces, 7 kills team to play against. They play at on Friday, three games to one.

Laval won the first game 15-9, and dropped the second 5-15, before wrapping up things by tak­ ing the last two by scores of 15-7 and 15-13.

Wendy Whalen had 15 kills, 14 digs and 6 stuffed blocks while her sister, Heather, assisted on 43 kills. De la Fontaine had 6 kills, 17 digs and 2 stuffed blocks, while co-captain, Lisa Mrak, had 6 k ills, 10 digs and 3 stuffed 1143 O U E S T DE M A IS O N N E U V E • M O N TR EA L, Q U É B E C H 3 A 3 B7 blocks.

TÉLÉPH O N E: (5 1 4 ) 2 8 8 -5 2 7 5 Laval had th eir way with McGill once again on Saturday,

You can take control of genital herpes a*st& diaquoaed

sweeping the M artlets 3-0 with scores of 15-6, 16-14 and 15-9.

Heather W halen had a 100 per cent killing efficiency, five kills,

the court and a lot of confidence.

We accomplished what we set out to do today — we w on,” said Mrak.

Please take yo u r weak sauce a n d yo u r Ragu elsewhere. three digs and two stuffed blocks.

Wendy Whalen contributed with 1 1 kills, 12 digs and 2 stuffed blocks as well. Ivanov had a 50 per cent killing efficiency, 5 kills, 4 digs and 1 stuffed block.

Monika Volesky, who played in only one and a half sets, had an impressive game with 8 digs , 1 kill and a sharp 2.21 passing effi­ ciency.

In a 57 m inute m atch, the Martlets defeated Sherbrooke in three straight sets, posting 15-6, 15-3 and 15-0 wins. Bretta Weise had 12 k ills, 8 digs, 3 stuffed blocks and a 71 per cent killing efficiency. Wendy Whalen had 12 kills, 11 digs, 5 stuffed blocks and an excellent 2.53 passing efficien­ cy. De la Fontaine had 10 kills, 10 digs, 2 stuffed blocks, a 53 per cent killing efficiency and a 2.2 passing efficiency. Mrak had 19 digs, 2 stuffed blocks, a near-per­ fect 2.76 passing efficiency and a 37 per cent killing efficiency.

“Today we played a great game. We had a lot of control on

The Martlets are now 2-3 in league play, and 12-9 overall.

“We are an effective team offensively and defensively and we work well to g eth er,” Mrak continued.

Though after a moment of thought, she added that “commu­ nication on the court can use some improvement.”

“They are a strong team with a lot of potential, but the team must work on its consistency if it is going to compete and remain at a high level of play this season, “ agreed Beliveau.

De la Fontaine concurred, “We have to keep playing with confidence and work hard like we have been these past few games, if we are going to want to get to the finals this year.” itt^ o The Martlets will play at an 8-team Omnium Vert et Or tournament in Sherbrooke starting Nov. 24.

...and your life Coping with recurrent symptoms such as itching or burning pain, tingling, sores, or even localized redness in or near the genital area has never been easy. Add to this the emotional impact of guilt, resentment, depression... a disruption of daily life.

Advances in medical research now enable you to do so m e­ thing about genital herpes out­ breaks. A greater understanding of genital herpes — p lu s the

availability of affordable treat­ ments, and counselling — can help you get your life essentially back to normal and potentially keep outbreaks out of the picture for years.

To confidentially learn more about reducing the severity and freq u en cy of g en ita l h erp es outbreaks, and minimizing the risk of transm ission through safe sex guidelines, contact the National Herpès Hotline.

And consult your physician

m £

S T U D E N T

***

with presentation of this ad • all prices include tax

Colour Perm Highlights

S P E C IA L S

2 8 .7 5 * 1/2 Head Highlights 6 3 .0 0 * H aircuts:W om en 6 3 .0 0 * Men

4 7 .0 0 * 2 9 .0 0 2 2 .0 0

Students wanted for night classes $ 1 0 • Supervised by qualified hair stylists

ON PERMS, COLOUR & HIGHLIGHTS WITH THIS AD ONLY

S p o r ts/W h a t’s O n

November 21st, 1995 Tuesday. November 21 •L aura A ssm uth, from the University of Helsinki, presents a lecture (4:30-6pm) in Leacock 738 on the changing lives of women in highland Sardinia. Free admission.

•The Alumni Association pre­ sents M aria R B attaglia, BLC, LLB, discussing the legal issues of adoption, in a sem inar entitled “The Adoption Option.” $5 per person (w ith refresh m ents) at M artlet House (3605 de la Montagne). For more info, call 398-5000.

I p Jg f i |y •The C anadian HIV/AIDS legal network presents Dr. Diane Riley in a seminar discussing the effect of Canadian law regarding HIV and drugs on the spread of the disease. 7:30 pm at 3600 Hotel-de-Ville St., 2nd floor. Free adm ission. For more info, call 526-1796.

•King Lear continues its run today at 8pm. See November 22 for details.

•The Jewish Studies Student’s Association presents a Jeopardy! style trivia game featuring depart­ mental professors as contestants.

5pm, Shatner 108. For more info, contact Daniel at 738-4198.

•LBGTM holds its weekly Women’s Group in Shatner 423, 6pm.

•WUSC holds a discussion m eeting on Peru at 6pm in Burnside Hall, no.426.

•The E nglineering Dep. invites everyone to see a seminar held by Frederick Marx, the direc­ tor of the movie “Hoop Dreams.”

This seminar is at 7:30 in Leacock 232. Admission free.

Friday. November 24

w ant to eat re sp o n sib ly ...

Contact Rebecca or M elanie at 398-7432.

•The P ublic R esearch on Business Ethics is a QPIRG work group whose aim is to promote clever and conscious consumerism through the examination of multi­ national corporations. Meetings every M onday, 6pm, in the QPIRG office.

Tuesday. November 28 •Volunteer opportunities in Guatemala. Project accom pani­ ment inform ation Session with slides and video. 6:30 in the Shatner cafeteria. .

•M ontage (the English S tu d e n t’s Journal) presents a McGill Faculty Reading; distin­ guished staff read from their own creative poetry and prose works.

Thom pson House, 8pm; free admittance.

if interested, or call 844-4907.

•UNSAM presents a public lecture by Harry Wu, activ ist extrordinaire. “Six Years After Tiananmen Square— a personal reflection on human rights” will be in Leacock 132 at 7pm on N ovem ber 29. A dm ission $8.

Reserve tickets at 398-6824.

Page 19

McTavish, with a side entrance.

•Activist Week, run jointly by SSMU and QPIRG and to be held in mid-February, is looking for people interested in participating and/or assisting. Please contact either Alison Dudley (QPIRG) at 398-7432 or Chris Carter (SSMU) at 398-6800.

•The P la y er’s T heatre is accepting one-act student written plays to be perform ed in the McGill Drama Festival. Proposals accepted until December 1. For m ore info, contact M eredith Caplan at 398-6813.

•Com e and disco v er the V ietnam ese S tu d e n ts’ Association! From ski trips to the­ atre productions— you can do it all. Contact Chi at 256-0745.

•The M cG ill U niversity P hotographic S ociety is now offering courses. Drop by Shatner B06 for details.

•Latitudes, a student publica­ tion, is searching for someone to co-ordinate and fund-raise. Gain experience and boost your C.V. Call Brenda at 842-6422 or e-mail at bbaa@musicb.

•The Scrivener, a creative review, welcomes your submis­ sions for the March issue. Leave your poetry, fiction, art and pho­ tography in the Arts P o rte r’s Office. Deadline January 15.

•The Alley holds jazz bands Mon.-Thur. at 8pm, professional bands Fri.-Sat. at 9:30pm. 3480

W ednesday. N ovem ber 22 •King Lear re-opens tonight with a run until November 25. All shows in Moyse Hall (Arts build­ ing) at 8pm. T ickets $12, students/seniors $6. Two for one spe­ cial tonight only. Contact Maria T ariello at 398-6558 for more info.

•PC McGill Policy Meeting and Party. Post-referendum policy discussion to start at 7:30; the party starts at 9pm. Take your pick and BYOB. Bring your mem­ bership cards if possible. Bring your friends! Apt. 302, 3603 rue St. Denis. C all 288-9037 for details.

•The Jewish Women’s Circle presents Edeet Ravel on “Midrash: A lternative V oices.” 7-8pm at Hillel House (3460 Stanley). All welcome!

•The Quality of Student Life Committee is preparing a survey to determine campus issues that are im portant to students. This survey will be used as a future resource. E veryone w elcom e, Shatner B10, 7pm. The Shatner SSMU desk also holds surveys on campus improvement.

•LBGTM holds its Bisexual Discussion Group in Shatner 423 every Wednesday at 5:30 pm.

•Living With Loss (bereave­ ment support groups) holds anoth­ er meeting today. New members welcome for these free sessions.

Contact Estelle Hopmeyer at 3987067.

Thursday. November 23 m

v e UERT S

•The McGill Choral Society presents Rutter’s Requiem (one of the best) at 7:30 in the Erskine and American United Church (Ave. du Musée and Sherbrooke). Tickets available at Steve’s Music Store and Maximusique. For info, call 398-6814.

•King Lear continues today at 8pm. See November 22 for details.

•McGill Christian Fellowship is holding a meeting at 7pm in the Shatner cafeteria. The guest speaker will be William Fietje of the Overseas Missions Fellowship.

For more info, contact Jean at 848-1720.

•LBGTM holds its Coming Out Group every Friday at 5:30 in the basem ent of UTC (3521 U niversity), follow ed by the weekly G eneral D iscussion Group, same location, 7pm.

Upcoming and Ongoing •The M cGill Sym phony O rchestra presents the War Requiem by Benjam in B ritten, December 1, in the Eglise SaintJean-B aptiste. $10 adm ission.

Contact the Faculty of Music for more info: 398-5514.

•M o n ta g e, the English Student’s Journal, is welcoming submissions of poetry, short fic­ tion, essays, photography and visual art from all M cGill Students. All submissions to be placed in the DESA box in the Arts Porter’s Office by December 15. All contributions considered for the upcom ing L iterary Festival.

•King Lear closes tonight at Moyse Hall, 8pm. See November 22 for details.

•GERT’S OPEN BAR!! It’s the inter-university (Concordia, U of M, UQAM, McGill), Open Bar (9-10) Saturday Night Fever! It’s Real Retro Night— music from the 60s, 70s and 80s. Proceeds to McGill Outreach.

Monday. November 27 •Loaf Organic Food Co-op orders and produces bulk dried foods every M onday betw een 11:30 and 5:30 at the QPIRG office (3647 University). If you

V k lV B BO TTLES BEER !

P U B PITCHERS $ 5 ^ 5 EVER I ^ V

•The Sexual Assault Centre of M cGill has support groups for men and women. Call 398-2700 (Mon.-Fri. 9:30-5:30) and 3988500 (7 days; 6pm-midnight).

o m

GP 5 4 5 5

W 4 3 3 0

e n ’s L 1 1 3 5

l i e n UQTR Ottawa McGill Concordia

•The Pillar, a McGill literary journal, is accepting poetry and short fiction for its upcoming pub­ lication. Submit your works in the Pillar Box at the SSMU desk in the Shatner lobby.

M Laval Sherbrooke Montréal McGill

•Living With Loss: bereave­ ment support groups. For people who have suffered the loss of someone close; run by the McGill School of Social W ork. No charge. Contact Estelle Hopmeyer at 398-7067.

L 0 2 4 5

o m

5 4 2 1 1

L 2 3 4 6

e n ’s

w

•Seeking editors for the McGill Review o f Interdisciplinary Arts'. Leave your name, number, year and program in the Review’s box in the Leacock Porter’s Office

9 6 4 3

W 6 3 0 0

W

Laval Montréal McGill Sherbrooke Concordia

w

GP 11 11 10 9

’s

o c k e y

T 0 0 0 0

GF 28 31 20 1

H

o c k e y

T 0 2 2 0

PF 77 44 36 35

V SW 18 10 2 0

H

SW 15 12 7 7 4

PTS 8 6 4 0

PA 30 30 43 43

PTS 18 14 10 6

o l l e y t j a l l SL 2 7 12 15

PF 297 205 129 80

e n ’w L 0 1 3 6 3

GA 7 6 15 52

PG 158 169 171 225

PTS 12 6 2 0

lu i! 1 SL 2 3 10 19 10

PF 250 200 205 221 163

PG 132 156 195 353 202

PTS 10 8 4 2 2

"

r ^ f i f f i ^ P

H

T

H

E

B E S T

P R IC E S

IN

T H E

C IT Y !

M on. N ov. 2 0 th

T u e s. N o v . 21st

W ed. N ov. 22nd

T h u rs. N ov. 23rd

F r i. N o v . 2 4 t h

S a t. N o v . 2 5 th

M O N D A Y N IG H T FO O TBALL

S H O O T E R N IG H T

J A Z Z & B L U E S N IG H T

P IC A R V E

$ 1 .0 0 s h o o te r s

$ 5 .9 5 p itc h e r s

T H E B IG B A N G DANCE DANCE DANCE!

H y p n o tis t S h o w

S A T U R D A Y N IG H T FEVER

$ 5 .9 5 p itc h e r s th r o u g h th e g a m e

$ 5 .9 5 p itc h e r s

$ 9 .0 0 s a n g r ia

P r e -C h r is tm a s C h a rity D r iv e lo r

7 :3 0 pm

D a rt L e a g u e

S u n Youth

P o o l T o u r n a m e n t!

Featuring D.J. Buzz -

I ''c

UQTR Concordia St-Laurent McGill

Saturday. November 25

F r e e B e e r O lym p ics

I

W

• .—

'

•-

\i /\ , \r .

v.vf:

$ 5 0 0 first p r iz e

G am m a P h i B e t a

$ 2 0 0 s e c o n d p r iz e $ 1 0 0 th ird p r iz e F e a tu r in g D J . B u z z

S u n Y outh

4 /É !}JiJr

TOB

P r o c e e d s g o to

F e a tu r in g D.J. B u z z

«'

;

\

R ock & D ance

I n t e r - U n iv e r s it y

A ll N ig h t L o n g

M u s ic o l 6 0 s, 7 0 s, 8 0 s

P a r ty fo r

M u s ic b y N O N ST O P ( D J . Joel)

C o n c r ete T o b b o g o n T ea m

O p en B a r 9 - 1 0 pm

F or M cG ill c>

R e a l R e tr o N ig h t e v e r y S a tu r d a y a t Gert's

P r o c e e d s g o to M cG ill O u trea ch

Student think tank: reshaping the university for the future.

By Philippe McCrackin.

A week long ‘think tank’ on the future o f our university ended yesterday. It was seven days long. The ‘think tank’, the latest brainchild of the Student’s Association for the Union of Students Union, gave students an opportunity to contribute to the reshaping o f the school.

The ‘think tank’ produced a report, The Think Tank Report, which will be presented to the Board of Directors at the up coming Board of Directors m eet­ ing which is up coming. Chet Biffersby, a veteran student of the undergrad pr<^ 16 years, says th^ in the right report, we likd “Think Tank R / the right dire o f D irectors! w e’ll be re mean, w e’ll j The mail and there sizes the that the! become Chadwiq the Ur m ittee j Round ves the! of the rej?

“Once j can real!; fees. Wei ty-five going t< leges, do i kn th beside w e’ll be a! at the pub.

Chip Exeter, a ki to the ‘Think Tank’, on students’ position.

“This is a com m on sense report. It’s all about fiscal responsibility. W e’re advocating privatization. Sure tuition fees will go up, but we have ideas on how to cut costs too. Great ideas.

Take this one for instance: “We strongly advocate that we video tape, for one school year, all lectures. Then we simply lay off the professors and play their video tapes the following years.

M ost of our professors deliver the same lectures, word for word, year after year, so what difference does it make? They wear the same clothes year after year, read from the same yel­ lowed note paper year after year... most students wouldn’t even notice.

“Look at Victoria Prepschool

at the University of Toronto.

T hey’re way ahead o f us.

Students can take Southrop B ake’s Shakespeare course on video tape. Brilliant! Dr. Bake’s still a success even though he’s moved on to the big campus in the sky. Now that’s progressive

We need credibility. The kind of credibiltiy that a great name gives you.

“Our top VPs, Skooter and Chip, came up with the new name and it’s really great. We knew those guys would come up with something great on account

graduation ceremonies in 1996 will be none other than former U.S. president Theodore Roosevelt.

Mr. Roosevelt was president of the United States from 1901 to 1909. He became governor of New York in 1899, soon after

p re se n ts...

TH E FA LL SC R A B B LE TO U RN A M EN T! Saturday at 8:00. Don't miss the

!

— One-on-one Scrabble American rules Jjm e-Clock and Challenges.

ition!

The next great poet.

by Larry Tate.

H e’s a good baseball player.

H e’s a great football player. And by all accounts h e’s an even greater poet. It was announced yesterday that next week’s fea­ tured poet at the English facul­ ty ’s poetry series is the Dallas Cowboys’ Deion Sanders. The New York Time’s poetry critic Frank Cannonfodder calls Deion “poetry in motion. The m an’s a -----------genius.”

Is Deion Sanders the new dri­ ving force in American poetry?

Has he taken the reigns from the likes of Walt Whitperson, Ezra Pound of Flesh and Robert Frostedflake? W ill he singlehandedly take American litera­ ture to new heights? D on’t miss next weeks’ readings. With spe­ cial guest reader Chris Nilan.

Faculty of Science researchers announce breakthrough.

heat read at will ‘Flini Eedicine evidence itial conings, and of an We have d this was at different tain different fat holds little food, skeletal ave the highest

Stu< Union changes name.

By Missy Choate The Students’ Union, disgrun­ tled by the fact that nobody takes it seriously, has changed its name. A ccording to Chastity Westmount, it was the only logi­ cal course of action.

“We thought w e’d like give ourselves a facelift because like nobody pays any attention to us whatsoever. Obviously it’s our name. It’s sooooo lame!

“So like what w e’ve done is w e’ve changed it to give us more respect, you know what I mean?

man. Those ju st remember, them,” he said.

Theodore Roosevelt this year’s Commencement speaker.

by Darren Stevens Those who are graduating this spring are in for a real treat!

Special guest speaker at the

associates? valiantly for the inw!^*" Regressive Movement.

His accomplishments include the breaking up of large games of Monopoly so he could get in on the action, and the Nobel Prize for peace in 1906. Roosevelt summarized his foreign policy as “speak softly and carry a huge gun.” He did not seek re-election in 1908, but ran unsuccessfully for the presidency in 1912 as the candidate of the Regressive Party.

Mr. Roosevelt died in 1924.

research also Jfer helps distribute fthe body, it trans­ i t s and hormones and between body [it is also the vital mediI'hich chemical reactions Host importantly, we have scientific proof — that uenches thirst.

1that’s not all. Working in stion with the kidneys, water also helps dilute toxic sub­ stances and absorb waste prod­ ucts. We conclude from our research, unequivocally, that to stay in good health, it is impor­ tant for adults to drink water.”

With water “out of the way,” Dr. I.C.A. Grant says his next step has to be food. “I have this sneaking suspicion that food is energy. I can’t say anything fur­ ther, but that’s where I’m head-