The McGill Tribune Vol. 24 Issue 16 by The Tribune

NEWS: Songs in the key of ^Failing student musicians tell all.

Tribune

A&E: Not every ad is dull. See the one per cent that's actually cool.

SPORTS: Rôtisserie chicken-The Trib's tribute to fantasy football.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

PUBLISHED BY THE STUDENTS' SOCIETY OF MCGILL UNIVERSITY

Puffing the pain away Study looks into safety of medicinal marijuana MATTHEW HENDY

DJ Casper heats up with hip hop under the big top. See SnOAP band reviews on page 19.

It's not the end of the world... or is it? Mother Nature: friend, foe... or your very worst nightmare? From tropical storms to Doomsday-causing meteors, Features examines our natural world.

The M c G ill U niversity H ealth C entre is p a r tic ip a tin g in a p io n e e rin g scientific study on the effects o f m e d ica l m a riju a na use. S in ce 2 0 0 1 , the C a n a d ia n M e d ic a l M a riju a n a A ccess R egulations have granted patients w ith severe p a in an d certain other sym ptom s access to c a n n a bis fo r m e d ica l pur poses. Today, 1 0 to 15 per cent o f C a n a d ia n s suffering from c h ro n ic p a in le g a lly use ca n n a bis as a n a n a lg e sic. H ow ever, the m e d ica l com m unity know s little a b o u t the possible long-term effects that regular c a n n a b is use m ight have on patients w ith p a in . For instance, these patients often take other m ed ica tio n s such as p a in relievers a n d a n tid e p re s sa n ts, b u t the in te ra c tio n b e tw e e n those drugs a n d m arijuana has not yet been s cie n tifica lly investigated. " W e need much m ore inform ation on the safety issues fa c in g these patients," s a id Dr. M a rk W a re , a p hysician a t the M U H C Pain C entre. W a re also heads the M U H C branch o f the "C a n n a b is fo r the M a n a g e m e n t o f Pain: Assessment o f S afety Study,” a ls o know n as C O M P A S S . This c lin ic a l trial fo llo w s 1 ,4 0 0 c h ro n ic p a in patients a t e ig h t d ifferent sites a cro ss C a n a d a , 3 5 0 o f w h o m w ill use c a n n a b is as p a rt o f their pain-alleviation regi men. H e a n d the M U H C C O M P A S S site w ill fo llo w 2 0 0 p a in patients, 5 0 o f w h o m w ill use c a n n a bis. C O M P A S S p a rticip a nts suffer from "hardto-treat ne u ro p ath ic o r muscle p a in , such as spinal c o rd injuries, m ultiple sclerosis, an d arthritis," sa id W a re . They w ill be ste a d ily m onitored for on e y e a r a n d then p e rio d ic a lly assessed over tw o years. The researchers w ill be on the lookout for a ra n g e o f safety issues such as d a m a g e to kid ney, liver, heart, a n d lung functions, as w e ll as a n y adverse c o g n itiv e effects. "A ch ie f g o a l o f the study is to determ ine h o w m a riju a n a interacts w ith other chem icals,"

IWONA LINK

said W a re . "The participants w ill b e instructed to continue taking their prescription o r over-thecounter painkillers a n d antidepressants.” The C O M P A S S study is the first o f its kind, both n a tio n a lly a n d inte rn a tio n a lly. A m p le research has been con d u cte d in the past con cerning the effectiveness o f m arijuana as an a n a lg e s ic , b u t never b e fo re has a n y o n e attem pted to investigate its safety as used for m e d ica l purposes. O n e question this study raises is w hether the C a n a d ia n governm ent w ill m ove to b ro a d en p u b lic access to this type o f treatm ent if the results o f the study in d ic a te that m arijuana use fo r p a in is safe. As the mom ent, o n ly those C a n a d ia n s w h o m eet v e ry s p e cific m e d ica l cri teria m ay le g a lly use m arijuana. M oreover, e lig ib le c a n d id a te s for m edical m arijuana must be vetted b y the fe d e ra l governSee PAIN, page 3.

Tonight, 4pm-9pm, Shatner W ÊÊÊH

This Week in McGill Athletics Sat., Jan. 15 (W) 6 pm, (M) 8 pm Basketball vs Bishop’S (Love Hall) Sun., Jan. 16 at 1 pm Martlet Hockey vs Niagara (McConnell Arena) Sun.| Jan. 16 (W) 1 pm, (M) 3 pm Volleyball vs Laval (lovi-wd Congratulations to the 2004 Fall Conference Champions & National Medallists

S u n ., J a n . 16 a t 1 pm

Martlet Soccer QSSF Champs & CIS Silver Medallists, Redmen Soccer CIS Silver Medallists Martlet Rugby QSSF Champs, Redmen Rugby QSSF Champs. Martlet Cross Country QSSF Champs, Rowing Men’s Heavy Weight 8’s CURC Silver Medallists, Redbird Baseball QSSF League Champs

‘

news

McGill aids tsunami victims Student response "overwhelming"

S T U D E N T NE WS

JA M E S C O T O W IE C

A face in the crowd Is Thefacebook.com really bringing people together? K E V IN A F S H A R I

w h o p p in g 21 m em bers a t M c G ill. The re sp o n se a m o n g M c G ill u n d e rg ra d u a te students is v a rie d . Kim C orry, U 1 Arts, has fo u n d it to be help ful in c u ltiv a tin g real frie n d s h ip s b e yo n d a com puter screen. "I've a ctu a lly m a d e friends o ff the

Take that,. Friendster. The Facebook is an o n lin e d ire c to ry that connects students through social netw orks a t college s a n d univer sities. It w e n t on-line a t a fe w schools

THEFACEBOOK.COM

Has anyone tried to stalk you yet? F a ce b o o k w h o have been in classes w ith me but w h o m I w o u ld n 't have b e frie n d e d n o rm a lly ," she s a id . "Som etim es I feel that you need a cer tain num ber o f c o in cid e n ce s to m ake a frie n d ." O thers a re m ore skeptical a b o u t the n e w trend. "I find that trying to m ake friends o n lin e is sym bolic o f h o w o ur society has d e g e n e ra te d into this s o cio p a th ic v o id o f p e o p le w h o 'd rather not d e a l w ith ea ch other," sa id Val M u z ik , U1 C ultural Studies. "H a v in g this techno lo g ic a l surrogate as a m edium bothers

last w in te r a n d is n o w used b y a b o u t on e m illion students a t 3 0 0 universi ties, in c luding M c G ill. This n e w d ig ita l p h enom enon raises the issue o f w hethe r the service is m erely m a in taining a n d cre a tin g n e w an d healthy relationships o r is attem pting to fill the v o id o f personal in te ra c tio n w ith s u p e rfic ia l o n lin e friendships. F acebook, invented b y H a rva rd student M a rk Zuckerburg, has created an im p licit w o rld o f its o w n w ith vary ing d e g re e s o f a d d ic tio n a m o n g

"I find that trying to make friends online is symbolic of how our society has degenerated into this sociopathic void of people who'd rather not deal with each other. Having this technologi cal surrogate as a medium bothers me. It's a Band Aid over something deeper." —

F a ce b o o ke e s. Those a fflic te d can c o m p a re the num ber o f "friends" they have listed in their p rofile to the num ber o f "friends" their room m ates have. A n o th e r sym ptom com m on a m o n g Facebook a d d ic ts is the obses sive w a n d e rin g through profiles o f p e o p le they w ish they knew, b e h in d a veil o f anonym ity. This often leads a d d icts to conjure up w a ys o f m eeting their a d m ire d person through a shared co m m o n interest d is c o v e re d on Facebook. The W e b site also en ables users to send m essages as w e ll as join or create groups, w ith everything from a 4 : 2 0 club, pro m o ting m ariju a n a use, to a Let's Elect Bush g roup, b o a stin g a

Val M uzik, U 1 Cultural Studies

me. It's a Band A id over som ething deeper. " In b etw een the tw o poles o f o p in ion lie the m ajority o f M c G ill students, w h o fin d the W e b site to b e helpful in c re a tin g a sense o f com m unity a n d e s ta b lis h in g real re la tio n sh ip s, y e t have m a n a g e d to a v o id Facebook's seductive a d d ic tio n . U 1 Arts student Lou K osak is not a Face b o o k member. "It's trying to bu ild a sense o f w h o the hell p e o p le a re a t a school w h e re g e n e ra lly that's not possible just fo r sheer num bers," he sa id . "It does seem to b e establishing a com m unity sense a n d it is o n e m ore w a y to g iv e p e o p le a sense o f a d ig ita l self." ■

M o re than tw o w e e ks a fte r a d e a d ly tsunami pum m eled the shores o f south A sia , killin g o ve r 1 5 0 ,0 0 0 p e o p le a n d d e stro yin g entire villa g e s, com m unities have just b egun to think a b o u t re b u ild in g . C ountries a ro u n d the w o rld have p le d g e d b illio n s o f d o lla rs in a id to the re g io n , a n d M c G ill faculty, staff, adm inistrators, a n d students have jo in e d the effort. "If seem ed a b s o lu te ly o b vio u s that w e w o u ld be d e e p ly a ffe c te d b y virtue o f our in te rn a tio n a l ch a ra cte r," P rincipal H e ather M unroe-B lum sa id . "The response o f the M c G ill com m u nity has been in c re d ib ly w a rm in g ." M unroe-B lum s a id that the uni versity has no current plans to d o n a te funds, but a d d e d that a natural disas ters fund m a y b e c re a te d if it ca n help c h a n n el su p p o rt to w h e re it is need ed . M a n y cam pus gro u p s have also taken up the cause. M e m b e rs o f the Indonesian .Students A sso cia tio n o f M o n tre a l (PERMIKA) spent the last w e e k o f their v a c a tio n m a kin g m ore than 1 ,5 0 0 b la c k flo w e rs w ith w h ite centres to g iv e to those w h o d o n a te d m o n e y a t their ta b le in the Redpath IWONA LINK Library. Students have been g iv in g g e n e ro u sly— on the first d a y o f their The MSA raised more than $6,000 for tsunami relief in one week. d o n a tio n d rive , the g ro u p raised m ore than $ 6 0 0 . to g e ther under the S S M U um brella, d o n 't a n tic ip a te a p ro b le m ," B illick PERMIKA held a fu n d ra isin g d in a n d d o n a te the p roceeds to O X FA M . said. ner a t C o n c o rd ia on S aturday, a n d is The PGSS has d e c id e d to help The money, roughly $ 2 ,0 0 0 , p la n n in g a c a n d le lig h t v ig il fo r this b y d o n a tin g money. w o u ld co m e from the society's s p ecial w e e k. " W e d o [fu n d ra is in g ] events projects a c c o u n t as w e ll as the o p e r Both the Students' S ocie ty a n d e ve ry year, a n d ty p ic a lly w e d o n a te a tin g surplus. the P ost-G raduate Students' S ociety profits to c h a rity," PGSS President A rts U n d e rg ra d u a te S o c ie ty a re h e lp in g ou t w h e re possible. N o a h B illick s a id . "This y e a r it w ill V ice -P re sid e n t (E xternal) Jam ie "The student societies g rie ve fo r g o to c h a ritie s s u p p o rtin g re lie f F erguson-W oods s a id that proceeds th e v ic tim s ," s a id S S M U A c tin g efforts." from this semester's A U S C h a rity Fair President A n d re w B ryan. "Every little H e a d d e d that a m otion w ill w ill g o to the re lie f efforts. b it d o e s count a n d w e w o u ld like to a p p e a r b e fo re PGSS C o u n c il a t its " W e a re v e ry o v e rw h e lm e d w ith d o w h a t w e c a n ." next m eeting, com m itting it to d o n a t the re sp o n s e o f p e o p le ," s a id O n W e d n e s d a y , student o rg a n i ing most o f the S ociety's o p e ra tin g M u m h a sp ria n to Ramli, PERMIKA pres z a tio n s held an a d h o d m eeting, d u r surplus to relief efforts. ident, "both inside a n d outside the ing w h ic h they d e c id e d to w o rk "It hasn't been passed, but I M c G ill com m unity." ■

E YE ON E F F O R T

Giving wisely tudent g ro u p s o n cam pus w h o a re c o lle ctin g m oney fo r the tsunami re lie f e ffo rt a re p ro m isin g to d o n a te w h a t they raise to a va rie ty o f o rg a n iza tio n s. It's a c o m p le x process that som e gro u p s d e c id e d to fo rg o on W e d n e s d a y b y jo in in g w ith the Students' Society, a nd g iv in g the funds to O x fa m . S S M U Vice-President (Clubs a n d Services) Sam een S hahid s a id that m any S S M U clubs a n d a M a n a g e m e n t U n d e rg ra d u a te S ociety c lu b a re p a rtic ip a tin g in the joint effort. "A ll o f these groups d e c id e d to w o rk together in o rd e r to g iv e a m ore im pressive d o n a tio n ," she said. O th e r student gro u p s w ill continue to raise funds for their o w n charities o f ch o ice . H o ld in g m e g a p h o n e s a n d shaking la rg e boxes full o f c h a n g e , students fro m the M u s lim S tudents' A sso cia tio n spent the first w e e k o f classes asking for d o n a tio n s a t R oddick G ates, They s a id they raised a b o u t $ 6 , 0 0 0 last w e e k w ith plans to d o n a te it to H um an C o n ce rn International, a fe d e ra lly registered C a n a d ia n c h a rita b le o rg a n iz a tio n th a t has been involved in a lle v ia tin g hum an suffering since 1 9 8 0 Rekha Tak, U 2 M a n a g e m e n t, w h o w a s not co lle ct ing on b e h a lf o f a n y g ro u p on cam pus, w a s on e o f se\c eral students sitting in the lo b b y o f the Leacock b u ild in g on W e d n e s d a y a n d Thursday h o ld in g a sign that read, "A Toonie fo r the Tsunam i." Tak h a d spent her w in te r b re a k in India. "I ca m e b a c k [to M o n tre a l] a n d w a n te d to he lp ," she sa id , e x p la in in g that she a n d her friends set up a c o f lection a n d raised $ 2 , 6 0 0 in tw o days.

Tak s a id that they w e re p la n n in g on sending the m oney to the Prime M in iste r o f India's Relief Fund, but that they m ight g iv e it to W o rld V ision instead, because the C a n a d ia n governm ent has p le d g e d to d o u b le d o n a tions b y ind ivid u a ls to ce rta in non-governm ental o rg a n i zations. The Indonesian Students' A ssociation o f M o n tre a l w a s stationed a t the entrance to the Redpath Library last W e d n e s d a y through Friday. They s a id the m oney they c o llected w o u ld b e sent to the Indonesian Embassy Relief Fund, w h ic h w ill then fo rw a rd the funds to the S ec re ta ria t o f the D e p a rtm e n t o f F oreign A ffa irs ' W o rk in g G ro u p for N a tu ra l Disaster Relief Efforts in Indonesia, a c c o rd in g to the Indonesian em bassy's W e b site. ■ —Amanda Greenman The government of Canada will match all donations made by individual citizens to Canadian non-governmen tal organizations before by today. These include the Canadian Red Cross, CARE Canada, OXFAM, World Vision, UNICEF, Doctors Without Borders, and Save the Children. Oxfam: w w w .o x fa m .c a Human Concern International: w w w .hum anconcern.org Prime Minister's Relief Fund: p m in d ia .n ic .in /re lie f.h tm World Vision: w w w .w v i.o rg Indonesian Embassy Relief Fund: w w w . in d o n e s ia -o tta w a .o rg

the mcgill tribune [ 11.1.05 | news 3 CAM PUS

NEWS

Word is out on SSMU book drive New market for students looking to dear the slate

news If you like the ladies, come to a News Meeting,

DAVID NATAF

every Wednesday at 6pm in Shatner, Room 110. (Word on the street is that News has cute ones.)

M c G ill students looking fo r anoth er venue to sell an d purchase used textbooks n o w have a n e w op tio n : the Students' S ociety b o o k d rive . The d ro p o ff period e n ded yesterday, but the sale begins tom orrow a n d contin ues through Friday. O rg a n iz e d b y S S M U V iceP resident (C lubs a n d Services) S am een S ha h id and S cie n ce Representative N a m ita Rokkam, the b o o k exchange allow s students to des ignate their o w n prices. "Students set the price a n d w e take [a ] o n e d o lla r ch a rg e to cover advertising costs," said S hahid. Presently, M c G ill students have a fe w o p tio n s a t their d is p o sa l to exchange o r purchase books. The online classifieds a t www.mcgill.ca list m ore than 1 ,5 0 0 ad s for books, w h ile rue M ilto n bookstore The W o rd carries roughly 2 0 0 textbooks a t a n y one time. The W o rd typ ica lly buys books from students a t 4 0 to 5 0 per cent o f the cover price a nd re-sells them a t roughly 6 0 to 7 0 per cent, d e p e n d in g on the condition. The bookstore does not, however, purchase oud a te d e d i tions. In a d d itio n , m any departm ental societies hold their o w n bo o k drives. Som e students also use general retail ers such as C hapters o r A m a zo n .ca . "The point o f the b o o k d rive is not 'This is the w a y to d o it,"' said Shahid. Referring to the M c G ill classi fieds, she said, "I d o n 't k n o w h o w m any pe o p le use that service. [The SSM U bo o k drive] is som ething use ful... peo p le can com e an d look." The b o o k drive has thus far col lected more than 1 0 0 books covering topics as diverse as chem istry o r e co nomics. D o m in iq u e B astien, U1 International Developm ent Studies, is relying on the b o o k drive to sell some o f her used books this semester. "I think it's nice," she sa id . "You

CAM PUS

tribnews@tribune.mcgill.ca

CALL FOR NOMINATIONS F A C U L T Y O F A R T S T E A C H IN G A W A R D H. Noel Field h o u se Award F o r D istinguished Teaching Any student, alumni, or member of the academic staff may submit a nomination. Nomination forms are available on the web, in the Dean’s Secretariat (Dawson Hall, room 302), or from departmental chairs. For further information, please consult the web at httD://www.mcaill.ca/arts/awards2/fieldhouse-award/

or call 398-4216. Send nominations to Susan Sharpe, Dawson Hail, Deadline: Friday, February 18, 2005

IWONA LINK

Spring dean a little early, make some fast cash, and get a hernia. can choose the p rice [you sell for] here." A q u ick com parison o f prices for various textbooks, indicates it m ay be o f interest to students to shop around. Calculus & Early Transcendental b y James S tew art w a s a v a ila b le in near-mint condition fo r $ 7 0 a t the b o o k drive but sells fo r $ 1 0 4 .9 5 at the M c G ill Bookstore. Globalization and its Discontents, suggested re a d in g for POLI 4 4 5 , sells for $ 2 4 a t the M c G ill Bookstore but is a v a ila b le for $ 1 9 a t A m a zo n .ca .

W a tc h out fo r b u d d in g profiteers, however. A used course p a c k fo r a fall co m p a rative politics course w a s found to cost $ 8 0 dollars a t the b o o k drive, w hereas the M c G ill Bookstore sells it fo r $ 7 2 .9 5 . A dd itio n a lly, the a v a ila b ility o f used books can be unpredictable. "A lot o f the books have a shelf tim e o f a b o u t 1 5 minutes," sa id an em p lo ye e a t The W o rd . " [W e ] buy a b o u t 1 0 0 textbooks e v e ryd a y and c a rry a b o u t 2 0 0 — the turnover is quite hig h ." ■

Teaching Certificate I40hs/ Internationally Accredited

TESOL Program Jobs in C an ad a & O verseas O verseas Jobs: $30,000 to $50,000/ y r TESOL Certificate is accredited by Emploi Quebec , Canadian Language Teachers Association (CLTA) & ______the European Union TESOL Association (EL_£A)_._____

T t e l:5 1 4 - 9 3 5 - 0 7 7 7 I'vw ^egucgionM nadaeolljiyyjm n^^^

NEWS

Pain relief without problems Continued from cover m ent before they can b e su p p lie d w ith the drug. These stringent rules m ake it d iffic u lt for p a in patients to g a in access to governm ent-issued ca n n a bis, a n d som e w o n d e r if the C O M P A S S study c ould qu e ll a p p re hension a b o u t the d rug a n d co n tribute to a C a n a d ia n health c a re regim e in w h ich m arijua n a is a v a il a b le a t the local pharm acy. M a r c B oris, le a d e r o f the C a n a d ia n M a riju a n a Party, c o n c e d ed that w h ile such a state o f a ffa irs is unlikely in the near future, scientific p ro o f that m arijuana is safe to use for m e d ica l purposes m ight inspire p o liti cians to co n sid e r ca n n a b is a n d other herbal treatments as v ia b le a lte rn a tives o r com plem ents to c h e m ica l drugs on a m ore m ainstream level. Dr. Paul C le la n d o f the M o n tre a l G e n e ra l H ospital app ro ve s o f the p a in study but does not share Boris's view . "If physician discretion becom es

On sale in Shatner Tues. Jan 11 all day and during activities night

$2 from

e v e ry purchase (a t booth) goes to TOONIES FOR TSUNAMI RELIEF FUND

IW O N A LINK

Some people use marijuana for pain, not pleasure. the o n ly m echanism in p la ce , there w ill likely b e instances o f a b u se ," he sa id . "Free a n d le g a l m a riju a n a is an a p p e a lin g id e a to m any, so w e must b e c a u tio u s a b o u t h o w it's d is persed." The study b e g in s this w e e k.

W a re a n d his research team a re not presently in search o f n e w recruits the M U H C C O M P A S S site w a s bom b a rd e d w ith over 5 0 0 p h o n e calls from interested p a in sufferers since the p ro je c t w a s p u b lic iz e d in m idD ecem ber. ■

www.student-passport.com

WOMEN IN CANADIAN POLITICS, Joint Presentation by Marlene Jennings (M em ber of Parliam ent for NDG-Lachine) and Yolande James (MNA for Nelligan): Why are there so few female Canadian Politicians? Two politically involved women discuss the Canadian political

environment from a woman’s point of view. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner 2nd floor, 2-3:30. THE POLITICAL (MIS)REPRESENTATION OF WOMEN, Presentation by Dr Elisabeth Cidengil, McGill Political Science Department: Dr Gidengil discussed the media’s portrayal of women in politics, as well as limiting factors on female political participation in Canada. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd floor, 4-5:30.

WHAT IS FEMINIST ACTIVISM TODAY?”, Discussion Panel Hosted by the Union for Gender Empowerment. A two-part session (speakers, followed by audience participation discussion) about the diversity of feminist activity, including academic, community, and trans-activism initiatives. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner 2nd Floor, 11:30-1. FREE LUNCH! Hosted by the Midnight Kitchen. Our favorite Chefs serve free lunch, first come, first serve. Shatner. A PERSPECTIVE ON PRACTICING LAW IN CANADA, Presentation by Janet Ferrier. This presenter works at Davies Ward Phillips and Vineberg Law firm, and discussed her experience in the legal profession. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 2-3:30 “SHOULD FEMALE CANDIDATES HAVE SEAT QUOTAS IN THE LEGISLATURE?” A debate hosted by the McGill Debating Union: Come hear

both sides of the argument, and share your own opinion. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 6-7:30. UNDERSTANDING HOMOPHOBIA AND HETEROSEXIAM: AN INTRODUCTION FOR ALLIES AND FRIENDS, a workshop directed by the McGill Queerequity Safe Space Workgroup: A new initiative from this dedicated group of staff, students and professors aims at making McGill a more open environment. Lev Buckman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 3-4. FREE LUNCH! Hosted by the Midnight Kitchen. Our favorite Chefs serve free lunch, first come, first serve. Shatner. HOMOSEXUALITY, MARRIAGE, THE CHURCH, AND GOVERNMENT IN CANADA, Joint Presentation by Brent Hawkes of Metropolitan Community Church Toronto and Darryl MacDonald of St. A ndrew ’s Presbyterian Church Lachine: Two prominent gay rights activists and clergymen discuss their experiences o f integrating religion, homosexuality and human rights. L ev B ukhman Council R oom, Shatner , 2nd F loor , 4-5:30. QUEER ISSUES IN EDUCATION: IMPACTS AND IMPLICATIONS OF HARASSMENT IN SCHOOLS, a workshop directed by the McGill Queerequity Safe Space Workgroup: How does our educational system treat homosexuality? Come address questions important to McGill as a learning institution. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 6-7:30. FIND OUT THE CHALLENGES FACED EVERY DAY BY MCGILL STUDENTS AND STAFF WHO ARE DISABLED. By limiting vision, hearing or mobility,

we are challenging non-disabled students to live half a day with a disability. Sign up at the SSMU Office, beginning Jan 17th. THE POLITICAL REPRESENTATION OF ETHNIC MINORITIES IN CANADA, Presentation by The Hon. Warren Allmand, of the McGill Institute for the Study of Canada, fo rm er President of Rights and Dem ocracy, and fo rm er Solicitor General of Canada: A discussion of how minority groups fare in the Canadian political system. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 2:30-4. FILM: “WAR BABIES”, hosted by V-Day McGill: This acclaimed film by a Montreal Production Company, Macumba International, illustrates how rape is a form of warfare, and discusses the repercussions on mothers and babies. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner 2nd Floor 4-006: 00. PRESENTATION by Elizabeth Wright, hosted by the McGill Associate for Baha’i Studies: A discussion of the role that men and boys can play in the achievement of Gender Equity. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 6-8.

FIRST NATIONS IN HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE, Presentation by Ellen Gabriel, President of Quebec Native Women Inc.: This long-time First Peoples’ Rights activists uses history and her own artwork to explain the current situation of First Peoples in Canada. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner 2nd Floor, 10-11:30. URBAN ABORIGINAL PEOPLES IN CANADA, workshop directed by the Native Friendship Center o f Montreah This association, which works with Native people who are on the street or street involved, presents an interactive workshop, and a great learning experience. Ballroom, Shatner, 3rd Floor, 11-12:30. MOVIE: FORGOTTEN WARRIORS: THE STORY OF CANADA’S ABORIGINAL WAR VETERANS, hosted by the Aboriginal Students’ Network: This

NFB documentary, directed by Loretta Todd, discusses the experience of Aboriginal soldiers following WWII. The son of one of the soldiers fol lowed in the documentary will comment on it afterwards. Lev Buckhman Council Room, Shatner 2nd Floor, 2-3:30. THE HONOURABLE LISE THIBAULT, LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR OF QUEBEC: To round off January with Equity in mind, The Honourable Lise Thibault will discuss the challenges faced by persons with disabilities in Quebec and Canada, as well as her own story of living with a disability. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 1-2:30.

the mcgill tribune | 11.105 | news

NEWS ANALYSIS

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Matthews also clarified that a low graduation rate is not always a negative sign. "In the professional world of performance, it doesn't matter whether you have a piece of paper from a university,” he said. "What matters is that you can play well [at] your auditions and in concerts. There are sometimes excellent performers who enter the professional world before finishing a degree or who leave a degree program to opt for more focused musical study." He also noted that many students enter the fac ulty without having a full grasp of what studying music at the post-secondary level entails. In these cases they may realize the program is not for them and switch to another faculty or program offered at McGill. Not only is the graduation rate from the pro gram low, some students feel that there are no real resources available to assist them in finding jobs after graduation. "Other than [Career and Placement Services] and some posters in our building, there are little to no resources available for us post-graduation, said Simmons. "I will be lucky in that the Education career fair will be a source of job information for me, but my peers in Performance have no official help in finding orchestral auditions other than their contacts and their own gumption in seeking out opportunities. The difficulty in finding work is a hazard of the field, said Matthews. "I think most students in the fac ulty are realistic about their career prospects post-McGill,” he said. "In the professional world of performance, it doesn't "Music is an extremely competitive matter whether you have a piece of paper from a univer field and it continues to become more so. The realities of the job sity. W h at matters is that you can play well [at] your market mean that Music students auditions and in concerts." must create opportunities for them — Dave Matthews, president of the selves and be innovative in explor ing unconventional career options. Music Undergraduate Students' Association Many students hope to see more courses or workshops offered hours a week. Then we take a full credit load on top to prepare them for the working world. Simmons sug gested making a first-year course called "Life as a of this." Simmons underscored that music majors take Professional Musician" mandatory for all Music stu between 18 and 19 regular course credits each dents. "[A Bachelor of Music] will hopefully become a year, while those in a concurrent program may take more classes. For instance, she is working towards a more useful and practical degree for those pursuing Bachelor of Music and Education, which can require it," she said, "one that prepares students for the many musical walks of life they might pursue." ■ up to 21 credits a year.

mall class sizes and close contact with profes sors would appear to make the Faculty of Music a cozy and inviting place to be, yet low gradu ation rates and students' concerns for their prospects after graduation are putting a damper on the pro gram. Dave Matthews, president of the Music Undergraduate Students' Association, estimates that only about two-thirds of students who enter the facul ty as undergraduates complete a Bachelor of Music degree. "The program is extremely demanding both in terms of academics and performance, he said. "Studying music demands a level of commitment that is not common in many undergraduate degrees. Margaret Shoesmith, a Performance major, said that the dropout rate may be higher in the Music pro gram because it is so specialized. "Students can begin to feel cut off from the world," she said. "Perhaps it is also because it is so difficult to get a great job unless you are outstand ing." Due to the expectations of private practice and ensemble participation, the program itself is also challenging and time-consuming. "In the program you are taxing private music les sons an hour a week minimum, with the expectation that you are practicing your instrument at least an hour a day," said Lauren Simmons, MUSA vice-pres ident internal. "On top of that, you are expected to be in an ensemble, which can rehearse up to five

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Mtni'1 In North Korea, state-run media uple are running an intensive • ampaign »| 1 against men's untidy haircuts and sloppy II attire. A television program has aired a five part series in which long haircuts are said to •’v • fok the krajn 0f energy. • A Florida truck \1 DjltKO driver has vanished, taking 3.6-million nickels *\vi\ . S -u-ii- (US $180,000) with him. Police suspect foul play, and the empty truck and trailer turned up * HcG» >- in Fort Pierce, Florida, despite the fact that the truck was travelling from the Federal Reserve in t-juth \ on* New Jersey to New Orleans. • A Texas couple ro v sat in detention along with their daughter »s because they said it was their fault she was late to school six times. The three of them copied 4 * to fits £»! lines from a school guide to good citizenship. • A 94-year-old Massachusetts woman wants : her Megabucks lottery winnings to be given to • w W 'Mst 5I her in a tump sum right away as opposed to I «50* « # « l ' ■ . - >L • SOURCES: bbc.cc.uk. Boston.com, M m rm t ffr Çàifftim ».

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in payments spread over the next 20 years. "Now, you know I’m not going to live 20 years," Louise Outing said, but the State Lottery Commission has rejected her request. • Some people, however, can afford to wait. A Florida man did not claim his US$60-mi!lion lottery prize for a month because he wanted to divorce his wife first. • The Kuwaiti government cancelled all New Year's Eve celebrations set to take place in hotels because they had reason to believe terror ist strikes Were planned for that night. • Boston is cracking down oir people who Want to keep their parking spaces. Sanitation workers have been instructed to haul away any garbage cans, chairs, or boxes after 48 hours when people use them to hold the parking spaces they have shov eled. Apparently, the city does not have any prob lems with crime for Mayor Tom Menino to work

F ro m Ja n u a ry 1 8 th , c o m e to t h e A lls o f f ic e (L e a c o c k B -1 2 ) t o c o l l e c t y o u r n o m in a tio n k it. E le c tio n sA U S

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Welcome to winter Montreal winters can be bitterly cold, but for stu dents who are new to these temperatures, this time of year can be more than just mind-numbing. Chaplaincy Services is helping students foreign to Canada's winters dress for minus 40. Its annual coat drive is underway until February. So far this year, 100 students, who came to McGill from places like Mexico, Brazil, Colombia, Indonesia, and Sri Lanka, have turned out. Under the guidance of Reverend Gwenda Wells, the Chaplaincy receives donations from both local churches and the McGill community, and distributes them to newcomers to Canada. The inventory includes coats, sweaters, scarves, hats, boots, and even chil dren's clothing and toys, as some students come to

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dents towards the end of February. Leftovers will be donated to the Salvation Army. —Elissa Zirinsky Concordia students join the FEUQ party

On November 10, the day that 12,000 Quebec students protested the provincial government's $ 103million cut to student loans and bursaries, the Concordia Student Union held a referendum to affiliate itself with la Fédération étudiante universitaire du Québec, a provincial lobby group. CSU is now the only other English-speaking FEUQ member besides the Students' Society. The referendum saw a record turnout. At the same time, Concordia students voted to leave L'Association pour une solidarité syndicale étudiante. FÈUQ now boasts more than 170,000 students, while ASSE mem

IWONA LINK McGill with their young families. Reverend Wells started the program a few years ago in response to a need identified by the Office of International Student Services. "There were students who didn't know what a Montreal winter was like," said Chaplaincy Coordinator Josee Di Sano. "The main reason we want them to come in here is to have the contact with them." She said students not only get a coat, but are also informed of Chaplaincy's other projects, such as the McGill Student-Parent Network. Beyond the winter garb, Reverend Wells explained, the coat drive "provides a spirit of wel come." Located in suite 4400 of the Brown building, the Chaplaincy features "Welcome" in 15 languages on its door—a reminder, she said, that "you've come to a place where you are invited in." Although any international student is eligible to receive a coat, the service will be opened to all stu

bership is below 40,000. By joining FEUQ, CSU strengthened its political position, in turn giving FEUQ strength in numbers. "We are very happy to welcome the students from the CSU," FEUQ Vice-President (University Affair's) Nick Vikander said in an official statement released on December 12. "With this new affiliation, FEUQ has become stronger and more representative than ever." Concordia students may have been prompted by the immediacy of the government's financial aid slash, but students are mindful of the long-term benefits of join ing FEUQ. "Real changes may take a while to put into effect, but I think future students will profit," said Andrew Walker, a first-year Political Science student at Concordia.

Perfectionnez votre anglais au CANADA!

PHOTOS

BY Y A S E M I N

I n more news about where your money is (not) going, the renova

tions to the Sports Centre are not just a year behind schedule. It seems that the $ 10 per semester fee you have been paying since last fall is not even being used to repair the building as it crumbles. In the fitness centre, garbage cans and constructions cones are being used to handle water leaking from the ceiling. Way to make a problem go away, even with the $3.9-million students and alum ni will have paid by the time the fiveyear fee expires. The renova tions, scheduled to be completed last September, are now expect ed to begin in March and completed by August.

—Genevieve Jenkins

Perfectionnez votre anglais ou votre allemand devenant assistants de langue française en EUR

Etudiants universitaires VOUS VOULEZ VIVRE UNE EXPÉRIENCE INOUBLIABLE? VOUS AVEZ LE GOÛT DE VOYAGER? Faites connaîtra votre culturetout en découvrant uneculturedifférenteet en faisant l'expérience d’untravail des plus intéressant. Comment? En vous inscrivant au programme Odyssée ou Accent (anciennement connu sous le nomde Programme des moniteurs de

Date limite d’inscrlptkm : 15février 2005 Pourensavoir davantagesur les programmes Odyssée etAccent, ilsuffitdevisiter lesite WebduConseil des ministres de l'Éducation au: http://www.cmec.ca/olp/ oudevous adresser : • à lapersonneresponsabledel'aidefinancière auxétudiants dans votreétablissement d’enseignement ou le travail de moniteur oude monitrice • à ladirectionrégionaleduministèrede (assistant de langue) consiste à soutenir l’Éducationla plusprochedechezvous. l’enseignante ou('enseignant en organisant des activités qui favorisent Rémunération la compréhensionauditiveet (’expression Programme Odyssée, monitrices et moni teurs i temps pfslB: Environ16$ l’heure orale auprès d’adolescents dont la langue maternelle n’est pas le français. pourunt Ce programme s'adresse plus particu ProgrammeAccent, monitrices et moni lièrement aux étudiants universitaires. teurs à temps partiel : Environ17$ l'heure,

■

■ ■

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BRISEZ U «BUTINE, VIVEZUNEEXPÉRIENCE «B SORTDE L'ORDINAIRE ETEXPLOREZ DE NOUVEAUXHORIZONSENDEVENANT ASSISTANTES OUASSISTANTS OE LANCUEAL’ÉTRANGER. Le ministèrede l'ÉducationduQuébec offre des postes d’assistantes et d'assistants de langue française au Royaume-Uni, en Irlande ou en Allemagne.

PRINCIPALESCONDITIONS: • Étudieràtemps pleindans une universitéquébécoise; • RésiderenpermanenceauQuébec; • Êtrecitoyencanadien.

Fonction : soutenir leprofesseur de français pendant 12heures enorga nisant des activités qui favorisent la compréhensionauditiveet l’expression oraleauprès d'adolescents dont la languematernelle n’est pas lefrançais.

Datelimite d’InscripUon: Royaume-Uni et I'Wande: le vendredi 28janvier 2005 Franceetl'ASemagne:le 15février 2005

Durée du stage : de8 à 9 mois, selonle pays d'affectation. Allocation : montant brut de 1170$ à 1500$ par mois.

Décroche tesrêves

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Consuiteztesiteinternetduministèrede l'Éducationwww.meq.gouv.qc.ca/daic • Pourobtenirplusderenseignements; • Pourvousprocurerlesformulaires d'inscription; » Pourconnaîtrelenomdelapersonne responsabledudossier dans votre université. Education Q uébec o "

I the mcgill tribune | 11.1.05 | news

H I

A N G LES

H e a r

s o m e

e v il, s e e

s o m e

e v il

Q u estio n s?

JO SH W 1LNER

w e

h a v e

"The tragedy of the tsunami was through the force of nature. The tragedy of Africa is through the failure of man. There is the equivalent of a man-made preventable tsunami every week in Africa. " -British Prime Minister Tony Blair, at his January 6 monthly press conference hat makes a cause a cause célèbre? The earthquake-induced tsunami in the Indian . Ocean that battered the coasts of India, Indonesia, Sri Lanka, and Thailand on Boxing Day is the most calamitous natural disaster in recent memory. The tragedy, marked by a national day of mourning here in Canada last Saturday, has caused immense damage to the South Asian infra structure and unspeakable human suffering. There are an overwhelming number of reasons to give money to the victims of the tsunamis. There are also a number of reasons why humanitarian aid is deeply needed elsewhere in the world, reasons that sadly don't get airtime and ink because they are not "newsworthy," which basically means they aren't in demand. The human toll taken by the tsunami is grow ing daily. To think that 150,000 human lives, at the very least, were taken in an instant (with anoth er 150,000 at "extreme risk" of death from the outbreak of disease, the World Health Organization warned last week] is enough to make one reexamine the anthropocentric arro gance with which we often view the Earth as something that we own and control. It may take a decade to rebuild the infrastructure that the tsunamis swept away in a single, angry instant But for all of its colossal geological force, the tsunamis have also mobilized a human force of compassion that rivals their terrible tides of destruc tion. As of late last week the total humanitarian aid pledged internationally, including debt forgive ness, was US$4-billion. The offers were coming in so fast that the United Nation's emergency relief coordinator, Jan Egeland, said his office could not keep track of them. Médecins sans frontiers said on its Web site that it had "received sufficient funds for our currently foreseen emergency response in south Asia ” UNICEF s Web site crashed last week because traffic on the site was so high. Money is not a problem, it seems, but on the other hand, money is a problem—though a welcome problem, to be sure. Talk about too much of a good thing. The world's cup runneth over with

A R T S A N D S C IE N C E P E E R A D V IS E R S

compassion. Canada has been an important part of this great wellspring of international sympathy and generosity. The federal government has already pledged $80million in financial aid, and Prime Minister Paul Martin has said that more will be forthcoming, though he has not specified how much. Donations from private Canadian citizens topped $70-million last week. We Canucks are quite a charitable bunch, it seems. That, is one way to see it. Another is this: Australia is donating approximately 20 times more to tsunami relief, as a percentage of its gross domestic product, than is Canada. For all the com mendable (though at times overly self-lauding) humanitarian spirit of generosity in the air, Canada's foreign-aid budget was just 0.28 per cent of its gross domestic product last year. That is bupkis. There is no question that what happened in south Asia is a heartrending tragedy. There is no question that money is needed. But even greater tragedies, tragic because they are avoidable, are occurring daily. The Globe and Mail noted last week that in the less than ' 14 days since the tsunamis struck, about 365,000 people have died from "commonplace illnesses of poverty," includ ing measles, diarrheal diseases, tuberculosis, malaria, AIDS, and pneumonia, more than twice the tsunami death toll. Stop and think about that for a moment. There is a sad trend in the media that has blurred the line between news journalism and Hollywood disaster-entertainment. What counts as newsworthy these days has to be flashy and sexy, something that makes for good TV-watching. Those 365,000 people around the world died invisibly and quietly. Apparently, only a certain kind of tragedy sells. Lets hope that the unprecedented outpouring of humanitarianism around the world sparked by the tsunami disaster will not be reserved for South Asia alone. The banal catastrophes are the gravest evils ■

and we're here to help you with adjusting to McGill, course and program selection and other concerns you may have. V is it u s a t th e G r o u n d F lo o r o f

D aw son H all, today! OFFICE HOURS ARE AVAILABLE AT THE STUDENT AFFAIRS WEBSITE:

w w w .m c g ill.c a / a r t s s c is a o

<89/ M c G ill f Faculties o f Arts and o f Science

/ i i

QUOTABLES

D aily. First of a ll, it's disturbing that a n y b o d y w ould w ant to read the D a ily ."

—Economics professor and National Post columnist William Watson, telling his Political Economy of Trade Policy students why it's rude to read in class.

c/>

co 15

WHO...

WHEN...

WHERE...

CONTACT...

2005 Winter Carnival Cancer Auction

McGill Cancer Society & MUS

Jan 17, 2005 2-5pm

Shatner Ballroom

christopher.ranjitkar@mail .mcgill.ca

«3 U

i i

You m ay opt out of paying

Fake and bake-a-thon*

McGill tanning club*

Jon 11, 2005, 6-9pm*

MTC Office*

fakeandbake@mcgill.ca*

Weekly Poutine Outing*

Poutine Association*

Jon 13, 2005, time TBA*

La Belle Province*

curdsandgravy@yahoo.ca*

for the Arts Student Employment Fund (ASEF), or

24.50$ for the Arts Undergraduate Improvement Fund (AUIF).

i o

6.50$

"It's distracting w hen som eone is sitting there read in g the

WHAT...

a n s w e rs

We're the

cn o n

th e

*These aren't real. But, you can advertise your real event! For only a toonie, you can get a listing in the print and online editions of the Trib. Drop by the SSMU office (Brown Student Building, Suite 1200) to pick up a form. Deadlines are Fridays at 3:30pm. For more information, e-mail calendar@tribune.mcg iII.ca.

Opting out from ASEF disqualifies you from work study positions. O p t o u t P e r io d is fr o m J a n u a r y 1 7 th t o J a n u a r y 2 8 t h C o m e b y th e A U S o ffic e , L e a c o c k B -1 2 .

o p in io n

H o p e

a d e

p o s s ib le

in c o n c e iv a b le ^ e d ito r ia l

b y

d is a s te r

SAM C O F F M A N

What me worry?

If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today. —E. Joseph Cossman

e worry about our grades, we worry about paying our bills, we worry about the homeless, about terrorist attacks, and we worry about tsunamj victims. We watch, spellbound, as CNN and CTV Newsnet show the waves surging over deck chairs and sweeping away lives. And then we act. We call relatives who were in the area, we donate money and time to charitable organizations, we pass on e-mails and we read more news stories. As the news cycle passes to the next horror, the next scandal, the event closer to home that eclipses the original impact, we move on. Sadly, the victims of these events don't have the means to do the same. Instead they continue to rebuild their lives shard by shard, board by board, moment by moment trying to find the sense of normalcy that left them weeks ago. We try to help them achieve this through donations of time and money. Across campus last week voices were raised with pleas, outstretched hands, posters begging for pennies and the smiles of joy when bills were handed over. Hell, Giving is insufficient if we donate only when an event of such magnitude occurs. W e should remember those in our our community as well as those oceans away.

none of us need our morning Starbucks as much as someone needs basic sanitation and hospital care. Besides, pennies are a bitch to count. And we could always do more. McGill stu dents have been incredible in collecting money and reaching deep into their pockets. The admin istration's stinginess, though, remains unshaken. Principial Munroe-Blum has encouraged us to give, but McGill as an institution could do so much more. The University of British Columbia has begun an aggressive fundraising campaign,

and has promised to match community endow ment donations up to $1-million. Concordia University will match students' donations up to $20,000 at a fundraising event on January 13. McGill has offered only words of encourage ment, not tangible initiatives. McGill students, as they so often do, have excelled with no help from the administration. Yet despite good intentions, giving is insuffi cient if we donate only when an event of such magnitude occurs. We should remember those in our own communities as well as those oceans away, Glida's Club, an international cancer sup port centre for women and their families closed their Montreal operation last year due to lack of funding. The Old Brewery Mission is now charg ing the homeless for meals. Canada has pledged to donate $80-million to tsunami victims, while our campus alone raised over $270,000 for Centraide last year. Charity shouldn't only be generated by a campaign or a horrific incident; it should be based on compassion, awareness, and concern. We should be smart about those aid organizations to which we give—a bit of research could mean the difference between two dollars going to the shelter rather than overhead spending. Although seemingly cynical, it's impor tant to question where our donations go. Is Dans la rue an organization that feeds Montreal's street kids or a program to rebuild schools and hospi tals in Indonesia? Does it last for three months or three years? Does it foster growth or depend ence? Will it teach a man to fish or merely give him one? Being smart about one's money means donating it to someone with a plan. As students with limited funds, we need to ask, "What are you planning to do with these donations?" before we reach for our wallets. But we shouldn't stop reaching just because we've fallen prey to cor rupt aid groups, are asked 20 times a day for a loonie, or‘grow weary of the kid carrying the Halloween Unicef box. Charity should be a daily inclination towards those both close to home and far away. ■

O n

p a t i e n c e

a n d

ne hundred and fifty thousand is a difficult number to imagine. As the death toll from the December 26 tsunami in Southeast Asia kept advancing inexorably towards that awful number (and does n't show any sign of stopping), the world's horror advanced -with it—first a tiny blip in the morning newspapers on Boxing Day of a few. hundred dead, then an overwhelming and desperate barrage of news and dismay the following days as the extent of the disaster sunk in. As it did, the world's wealthiest countries kept upping the ante of their aid in what seemed to be a race to outbid each other, as well as an effort to quell early criticism of stinginess, (At first, the US pledged only $30-million, just over half of what is planned for Bush's inaugural festivities.) The result has been absolutely massive: US$80-million from Canada, 350 from the US, 500 from Japan, 529 from the EU, 680 from Germany, 81.5 from Australia. And private donations have been generous to the extreme. In the States, an estimated three in every 10 people have donated, and British private donations of $ 146-million have well outpaced the govern ment's pledge of $95-million. Such an outpouring of support is unprecedented in history. Had this tsunami decided to strike 100 years ago, the victims would have been on their own, except perhaps for some halfhearted efforts by European povc ers to salvage their colonies. The world has come together over this catas trophe, mostly out of selflessness. Yes, politics is coming into play as it always does—there have already been murmurs of thankfulness in the Bush camp for the switch of headlines away from Iraq—and yes, swindlers are busy swindling, and we must be on our guard against fraud ulent aid agencies pretending to be legitimate. But the money is still com ing, despite kinks along the way, and the vast majority of people in the world those who aren't politicians or thieves—have only compassion and concern for the victims on their minds. There's something about deaths from a natural disaster that strikes a different chord in the public mind than do deaths from other upheavals. In war, there is always someone to blame, and an interest in what is hap pening all too often means taking sides. With every death in Iraq, it is easy for an American to feel a cringe of guilt or frustration, and we in the Western world are still trying to come to grips with what we didn't do in Rwanda or.the Sudan. But when nature strikes, there is no one to blame, and this exculpation of human guilt makes it easier for us to respond. Helping is something everybody can do, and it doesn't mean anyone has to lose. The disaster has also provided hope in some surprising realms: sev^ eral rebels in Indonesia are stopping their fighting for the time being; cor rupt Indonesian troops are undergoing sometimes dramatic reform; and the American military, as it drops packages of food and excavates the badly wounded, is showing a humanitarian side of itself that many Southeast Asians had not previously thought existed. We are demonstrat ing what is possible, made so by the inconceivably awful. We must hold this solidarity together for as long as we can. As the news fades so might the help we've promised and the progress achieved. Unlike in war, where constant battles and ongoing deaths keep the head lines alive, a natural disaster like this one comes abruptly and then goes, leaving a momentary shock that is easy to forget or at least move past. Rebuilding Southeast Asian coasts will take longer than the news cycle. Let's prove to ourselves that we're up for the challenge. ■

f r o s tb ite s EV ER ETT RA M BLER

ustling down Prince Arthur on a bristling January evening, wind darting in your face like shards of glass, wondering why oh why didn't you go to Florida State, you may encounter the dismal figure of a student in a green coat, a black scarf tucked around his face, a grey cap on his head, with big Thinsulate gloves and black boots, standing miserably on the corner at Durocher. He may stamp his feet. He may rub his hands together. He may even glance at his W hat is there for us poor punctual folk to do? Drawing and quartering is, unfortunately, illegal, as is lashing and beheading, though perhaps the law would make an exception for those who show up late for classes or movies and then are loud about it.

watch, if he can gather up the courage to pull down his sleeve and put it back again before frostbite sets in. Who, you may wonder, is this guy? And why isn't he indoors, like sane peo ple? This unfortunate character, I am saddened to report, is

me. All too often I make the hideous mistake of agreeing to would make an exception for those who show up late for class meet people on street corners instead of inside, where meet es or movies and then are loud about it. Or maybe the solu ings inJanuary are supposed to occur. "It's right between your tion lies not in punishment but in counselling. These poor mis apartment and mine," the reasoning may go, "so let's meet guided souls could be required to attend group sessions ("Hi, there, in, say, 10 minutes?" Trusting and unsuspecting, my iron my name is Joe, and I'm always late"), or, if the case is seri naivete withstanding even years of experience, I nod happily ous, direct one-on-one therapy, with straightjackets if neces into the phone. And, 15 minutes later, there I am, shivering sary. Or could it be that we are approaching this problem the with cold and anger, a snowman on the corner of Prince Arthur wrong way? It may not be criminal or psychological but phys and Durocher, yet another hapless victim of tardiness, that ugly ical. Are latecomers inflicted with some strange disease that beast. affects the area of their brain that deals with respect for oth What is there for us poor punctual folk to do? With some ers? Neurologists, get to work! A scientific breakthrough may people, the habit of being late becomes all too common, and be in sight. when dealing with these sick individuals one must learn to live With some people, I am sure, the cause of their lateness with the frustration and show up late for any meeting. The is more innocent: absentmindedness, forgetfulness, the inabili beginning of these friendships is the hardest part of the ordeal, ty to judge how long things will take. I think I speak for all of since the learning curve can be very long and painful, maybe us punctual nerds when I say I feel for you guys, I really do. I with a few potholes of punctuality thrown in to enhance the know you mean well. But for goodness sake, do something! confusion. But once the fact is established, these people, Write it on your hand! Write it on your arm! Write it on your along with all other habitual offenders, should be dealt the forehead! (People will say, "What's that?" and you'll say, "Oh harshest punishment. Drawing and quartering is, unfortunately, yeah! I have to be some place!") Just please, please, please! illegal, as is lashing and beheading, though perhaps the law Be on time. ■

the mcgill tribune | 115.05 | opinion

The

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M c G ill T r ib u n e Curiosity delivers. E ditor-in-C hief

Natalie Fletcher editor@tribune.mcgill.ca M anaging E ditors

Katherine Fugler James Scarfone seniored@tribune.mcgill.ca N ews E ditors

Jennifer Jett Laura Saba Lisa Varano tribnews@tribune.mcgill.ca Features E ditors

Liz Allemang Panthea Lee features@tribune.mcgill.ca A&E E ditors

Daniel Chodos Lise Treutler arts@tribune.mcgill.ca

Sacred cows T h e

p o litic s

o f

b la t h e r JEFF ROBERTS

jeff.roberts@elf.mcgi 11.ca capable of transcending caricature and pre I f you discovered that I was full of shit, would you MacGregor, they seem to find no shame in empty dictability. William Safire of the New York Times is pontificating. Laughably, the paper's online edition

stop reading this column? This is a genuine con cern for columnists and pundits across the land. Paid to produce meaningful insight on a regular basis, they live in silent terror of the public finding out they are vacuous hacks. In the era of the celebrity pundit, even Canadian newspapers are relying evermore on columnists to sell issues. Not only are they cheaper than reporters (who must travel to their stories), good columnists can bring cachet or competitive advantage to a newspaper. Once faceless names who offered occasional meditations on the news, but today columnists appear as large heads called upon to spout blustering harangues on a near-daily basis. The result, most often, is boring copy and poor journalism. A chief offender is ^Roy MacGregor of the Globe and Mail whose "This Country" column clogs a whole page of the paper with stupid parochial ramblings. It is a miracle how he can live with himself. Does his breath grow rank from spewing so much drivel? Does his keyboard come to smell like sewage? Will hell see him beat en with hockey sticks to the call of the loon? Equally complicit in the paper's cabal of windbags are Jeffrey Simpson and Ken Wiwa. Like

is attempting to get people to pay to access these b°z°s. To be fair, fault for this proliferation of drivel does not lie' entirely with the columnists. The news industry's decision to make them celebrities requires that they must pretend to hold a deeper well of insight than they are capable of possessing. Put yourself in their shoes. Do you wake up every morn ing with a new and trenchant observation about what the nation ought to know? The public too is complicit in ensuring that most columnists quickly become little more than car icatures. This occurs because the average reader prefers to have their opinions reinforced rather than challenged. Favourite columnists are often those who can be counted on to repeat the same pet idea over and over in a variety of keys. Imagine the disappointment of Margaret Wente fans should they turn to her column and find she has written that gay marriage is no big deal. Or think how Atwood enthusiasts would shudder should they one day read that Maggie no longer thinks that America is the anti-Christ. Too often, it seems that columnists are paid to be predictable rather than right. Mercifully, certain newspaper writers are

one. Aided no doubt by his personal acquaintance with world leaders, Safire regularly produces columns brilliant for both their language and their content. His counterpart, Maureen Dowd, remains equally relevant. Her repeated floggings of George Bush are, of course, variants of the same idea, but Dowd's intelligence and stylistic genius allow her theme to remain fresh. The Globe too, despite its coterie of hacks, employs a handful of columnists worth your time. On Saturday, "Pop Rocks" by Toronto poet Lynn Crosbie rarely misfires in its efforts to discover and deconstruct hidden nooks of our culture. Likewise, Doug Sanders continues to emerge as a great young columnist and journalist. Finally, on the local front, the Daily's new "Jane Says" shows promise, although it remains to be seen how much mileage its author will get with her bad-girl shtick. This era of columnists shows no indication of going away anytime soon. As my editor pointed out last issue, the spread of blog culture has only helped to ensure that every nattering nitwit on the planet now has a forum on which to serve up their tedium. Ultimately, it's a boring world out there. Read carefully. ■

S ports E ditors

Mohit Arora Andrew Segal sports@tribune.mcgill.ca

Swift kick

O f s y lla b le s ,

P hoto E ditors

g e o d e s i c a n d

o t h e r

d o m s m a ll

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Yasemin Emory Iwona Link photo@tribune.mcgill.ca C opy E ditor

Sam Goffman sam.goffman@mail.mcgill.ca D esign E ditors

Lara Bekhazi Benji Feldman Heather Kitty Mak design@tribune.mcgill.ca O nline E ditor

Lynne Hsu online@tribune.mcgill.ca A dvertising M anager

Paul Slachta advmgr@ssmu.mcgill.ca A d T ypesetter

Shawn Lazare Publisher

Chad Ronalds C ollaborators

Geraldine Anania, Kevin Afshari, Bryan Badali, James Gotowiec, Amanda Greenman, Emily Harris, Matthew Hendy, Genevieve Jenkins, Cristina Markham, Jeremy Morris, David Nataf, Danny Nguyen, Caroline Olechowski, Thomas , Pagliarulo, Dave Piccin, Sid Pharasi, Melissa Price, Jeff Roberts, Scott Sameroff, Elisha Siegel, Josh Wilner, Elissa Zirinsky T ribune O ffices Editorial. Shatner University Centre, Suite 110, 3480 McTavish, Montreal QC Tel: 514.398.6789 Fax. 514.398.1750 Advertising. Brown Student Building, Suite 1200, 3600 McTavish, Montreal QC H3A 1Y2 Tel. 514.398.6806 Fax. 514.398.7490

Dimly Newspaper office that can mean only one thing: production night. The sound is Phil Collins's Love Songs and the ed board is singing along. "Phillll" bellows one. "Phillll" bellows anoth er. Together now, "We love Phillll." But don't tell anyone, they're supposed to be listening to hip esoteric Indie bands like the Bavarian Dwarf Electric Klezmer Singers. Phil Collins is a special secret pleasure. The smell is lentils, the choice dish of jhe ecologicallyconscious newspaper-person. "Lentils!" screams an editrix. "Lentils!" screams another. "No tofu?" There's a sad writer in the room. "But lentil good" says the editrix rubbing her belly. The sad writer continues moaning, "I want Toh-fuuuu." In a blink, the editrix leaps up shrieking, flailing, jab bing her chopsticks at his eyes in a motion meant to underline the hipness of the legume. "Lentils!!!!" Swayed by her logic, the writer concedes, "Ohhhkay lentils good." Then Dick Black-Poon, the resident Visigoth and gossipmonger, bursts in covered with dead animal pelts. "SSMUT exec cheat on girlfriend he roars. The others huddle for protection and yell back, "Boooooring." But the oversized brute is not

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jeremy.morris@mail. mcgill.ca

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to be cowed so easily. "He stick penis in girl's spe cial place. Penis funny." The others step back. "Ooooh ironic." They are rapt in awe. Now together they yell, "Penis funny, penis funny, penis very funny." The sad writer interjects in the middle of the verbal hysteria, "Tofuuuuuuuuuu." All the edi tors and editrixes stop their noisemaking. Silence. They circle round the dissident. Terrified, he whim pers, "Tofuu?" But no one listens. Their faces contorted into grimaces, the edi tors and editrixes stare down at their prey. The lights go out. Silence. Then lowly a terrible sound rises up from the mouths of the editors: "Blather yak yak." The sad writer is curled up in a ball. The editrixes repeat the sound, Blather yak yak. Torches are lit. The editors chant, “Blather yak yak." A keyboard is seen in the torch-light. The editrixes chant, "Blather yak yak." The sad writer begins screaming, “Postmodern, post-modern." The editor and editrixes draw forth their red Bic pens. Together now, "Blather yak yak." The sad writer screeches, "Deconstructionism, deconstruc tionism." Then silence. A drum of keys begins to rumble from an iMac keyboard. The editors and editrixes raise their red Bic pens in anticipation of a fresh kill.

Molson muscle support squad I'm surprised to see the Tribune printing a juvenile article like "O Molson, where art thou?" by Daniel Chodos (5.1.05). When I was at McGill, that kind of lazy slagging of corporate America was only found at the Daily, and it was cute there, but clearly not a publication to be taken seriously. Chodos s comments about the Heritage Foundation and discrimination against blacks are unfounded. I visited its headquarters in Washington in May. The first person I met was a black woman; the "first impression" of the organiza tion. There seemed to be many in the offices, both seated in their own offices and in cubi cles. This year, at their largest event, with over 600 people from the US and around the world, they presented their biggest annual

Together again, "Write Tribune news weakling. Down the red Bic, pens stab when... In walks the columnist. "Urn yes, hello all, I was wondering is this the Dimly Publication Society?" He looks around. "Ritual sacrifices of writers? Isn't that just a little tacky? I mean couldn't you just get better peo ple than killing the inadequate ones? But I am get ting besides myself; I am here to make a com plaint." A pause as the columnist looks round the room. "Yes. You see when you want to attack a man in print couldn't you at least have the decen cy of putting his name in bold. I mean come on we have egos to uphold here people. And 'random syllables thrown together' as an insult, couldn't you at least call me a dipsomaniac or something cre ative—I think someone's a little jealous?" He buttons up his jacket, "So that's all I want ed to say, so I will leave you to get back to your messy human sacrifice thing and do hope that before you kill the poor little writer that you at least have the decency of telling him your name. Otherwise, it's just plain unsportsmanlike. In the words of Oscar Wilde, 'A true friend stabs you in the front.'" With that last remark, the columnist left the room. ■

in full support and participation with the MCSS. There are four student bodies represent ed on the BoG: MCSS, MACES, PGSS, and SSMU. When the restructuring issue surfaced in late 2003, all four were collaborating together to ensure maximum student partici pation and representation on the Board, but unfortunately some disagreements regarding seat numbers resulted in the SSMU attempt A BoG mistake? As a former BoG member, and the one ing their motions solo. So please do not for who presented the motion for the restructuring get to recognize the efforts and role played plan that was adopted, I feel compelled to by the MACES, along with the PGSS and point out an unfortunate omission in Jennifer MCSS, during the restructuring of the BoG in Jett's BoG portion of the news special in your ensuring full voice rights to the four major stu January 5 issue (Student activism: 2004 in dent societies at McGill. —Daniel Kapeluto review). It was, in fact, the FGSS, in collabo Former BoG rep to the PGSS, 2003ration with AAACES (Mature And Continuing 04 Education Students) who created the motion,

award for freedom to a black woman. This woman fought the government for 10 years to secure choice of education in D.C. Hardly the actions of an organization that, to paraphrase Chodos, is promoting an agenda of hatred against blacks. Maybe he's writing for the wrong paper. —Andrew Work, B.Sc. '94

™ —

The McGill Tribune is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by th® j CH^rmlon'lubmi^ions'^y^^t^^aiho o^ÆuSrncgill.ca Any mate'rial judged by [lie T i i L Puf r ° ^ n &Thrust and Reaction Engine must include contributors name, program andI year °n° f°"tac4 inform yh ' reserve5 L right to edit all contributions. Editorials are decided upon and 'written by the tsditonal board.

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After finishing his year abroad at McGill, Dan has returned to his oh-so-funny home of Australia from where he will continue to send accounts of his trials and tribulations with the opposite sex.

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Trippin' & Flippin'

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A u s t r a lia n

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LAURA SABA

T he airlines have been screwing with

everybody lately. And I thought I was the only one they hated. After a 34-hour jour ney home and a 26-hour one to Montreal, I have come to the conclusion that it is time to hate back. In the interest of sharing the, acquired wisdom, here is a quick guide to interacting with anybody you might meet on a trip. Reservations: Never deal directly with any airline or log onto a Web site. Take the time to find yourself a good travel agent and fork over the exorbitant fees unless you want to take 24 separate flights to your final desti nation. The more you hate your travel agent upon meeting him or her, the better your chances are of securing a good reservation, because they will be absolutely horrible to the airline representatives. Mob ties are the mark of a good travel agent. Remember that calling a toll-free number is just stupid. Ground staff: They seem nice. "I'll see if an aisle seat is available," they say. Do not trust their smiles, because behind that friendly look lies a moron. Expect them to hand you a boarding pass with a seat number on it that does not even exist. Or to give you one for your connecting flight that says "Montreal" that is actually somebody else's boarding pass to Los Angeles. Compare the code to the one on your ticket. This is not poetic license. When that last one happened, they bumped somebody else up in order to give me a seat on the flight I paid for. Crying: Master the art of crying on demand well before you are set to go on a trip. Also learn the phrase "but I haven't seen my family in 10 years and my mother has been ill for the past five" by heart. Get an act ing coach if you have to—the better you play it, the higher your chances of getting a free overnight stay in a hotel or a seat upgrade. me person next to you: Never be afraid to hand over some deodorant. A 10-hour flight is no time to be considerate of other peo ple's feelings. Baggage loss: This happens to every body regularly. Under no circumstances should you be understanding. The baggage claim employees might try to fool you into thinking your luggage will actually get to you in 24 hours. These- people are liars, and this is where you should practice making people c y Put the look of death into your eyes and tell them losing your luggage twice on the same trip is ridiculous. You would appreciate it if they did not take you for an idiot and tell you when you will really see it again. Until your luggage is delivered, call them evey day and threaten to sue them for emotional damage unless they find out where it is and bring it to you. Customs agents and Passport Control: These are the only people you should ever be nice to during your journey. You do not want a CSIS or FBI file started on you, now, do you? Do not cry or be too nice, because they will know what you're hiding. Don't ask how, they just know. A final word: This one is a no-brainer. The only reason you should ever be at O'Hare is if you plan to be in Chicago. If you would like to get stranded overnight, get your luggage lost after being stranded overnight or freeze to death while being stranded overnight, O'Hare is the place for you. Otherwise, there are plenty of airports in Detroit or Western Europe that would be happy to accommodate your stopover needs without making you want to end your life. ■

ell folks, I hope you all had a splendid Christmas vacation and are enjoying another wintry semester. As we speak, I'm back home in sunny Oz, readjusting to this part of the world as best I can after an amazing year in Montreal. As part of this process, I'm get ting re-accustomed to the thriving Australian meat industry, from my vantage position working behind a bar in Perth's inner suburbs. Whilst there are markets for this industry all over the world, I'd have to say that it is particu larly successful Down Under. A simple explana-

tion would be that, with Australia's fortunes hav ing been historically tied largely to sheep (with wool exports toJapan back in the day, and more recently wool exports to Toronto in the form of Uggs) this has had a clear bestialisation (is that a word? I hope so.) effect on the way we behave. What I observed from the other side of the beer tap on my first night back at work was an extraordinary sight. Hundreds of steroid-injected, beer-fuelled blokes out looking for the right invest ment opportunity, and even greater numbers of what I will describe as young, (my goodness were some of them young) "lambs" (for the sake of the analogy) trotting in herds across the room and on the dance floor, knowingly under the gaze of the XY chromosomes all around them. If I had not been already well versed in this

setting, I might have been shocked at how fluid the market process worked in this setting. With lit tle more than p quintessential Australian but pathetically clichéd line such as "geez you look fucking awesome in that dress," the well-fleeced, Chanel-scented females were almost always won over by their pursuers. I'm not sure whether it was the naivety of youth (and analogyaside, I'm now convinced that an extra ID check here and there isn't such a bad thing), the result of having their milk laced en masse, or me having been in Canada too long, but by the end of the night, I was like WTF mate? At the end of the day it's probably always been this way and I've just had the wool pulled over my eyes until now. But after seeing this spectacle, Ithink I'm becoming a veg etarian! ■

Neurotica S5*

p re fe r

s u ffe r

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cristina.markham@mail.mcgill.ca CRISTINA MARHAM

I f there is only one thing I learned in first year, it

is how to predict a hangover within the first moments of waking up. My number one indica tor is waking up with the previous night's makeup on. While it seems innocent in comparison to the red flags of some of my friends (waking up on the bathroom floor, or with inexplicable rug burn) it is a Code Red that can only mean hours of brain melting misery and praying for a swift death. Over the break, after a lethal combination of tequila and karaoke, Iwoke up wearing all of my makeup, my mittens, a giant pair of earrings, and one shoe. Sure enough, I had the world's most skull-splitting, bonecrushing, bowel-rotting hang over. Normally, the only cure for a hangover is to wallow in my apartment, cursing my stupidity, and only leaving the confines of my seven-b^nine foot bedroom to crawl to the bathroom. Unfortunately, Iwas about 500 kilometers west of my shoebox-sized bedroom, as I was at my par ents' house in Toronto. You may think that this would have little to no effect on my recuperation, but then you obviously have never been hung

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over at my home. At 7:30am—about three hours after I passed out—Iwas jolted awake by the ear pierc ing yapping of one of my neighbourhood's many miniature dogs. I lay there, cursing this pathetic excuse for a pet, until I realized that the awful sound was coming from my family's miniature poodle, Gaby. She came barreling up,the stairs and into my room, followed by my mother, whose only greeting to me was, "You reek of beer." She asked what I had been doing the night before, and what I had drunk that made me turn this shade of green. I recounted what I could remem ber from the previous nights events until forming consonants became too exhausting. Perhaps it was the disapproving look on my mother's face, or maybe it was massive curtain of white tulle sur rounding my bed—I decorated my bedroom when I was 16, and a princess curtain seemed logical at the time—but I suddenly felt like I was 17 again and about to be grounded for drinking on a school night. My mother laughed under her breath and left to go to work, but the snow-cov-

h e a r

r o a r

CASEY REYNOLDS

ered dog kindly kept me. company as she broke the silence with yelping. A few hours later, my younger sister stumbled into my room in her pajamas to tell me all about her night out, but when she saw my condition, she immediately took action. As a freshman, her hangover-curing skills are still fresh in her mind, and she ran down the stairs to get me dry toast and club soda. As she told me stories of her own first year exploits, I went from feeling like a teenager to a boring old thirtysomething. I told her that I could drink like that when I was 18, but not anymore, looking back on my youth with a nostalgia that should be reserved for those over 40. Finally, around 8pm, I finally found the strength -to pull myself from bed and start getting ready for that evening's escapades. As I readied myself for another challenging night of walking home sloshed in heels, I promised myself that the next time I subject myself to that kind of pain, I'll do it when I can suffer alone and uninterrupted.

A C R O SS

1. Fills your pen 4. Rowthat boat 8. Gothic era Italian painter, 14th century 12. Louis XIVor Pepin the Elder 13. Bubbly chocolate bar 14. Sagan or Lewis 15. Landers or Coulter 16. China's dish of choice, often 17. Present at house parties 19. Small 20. Too smart for one's own good 25..Online Sweden abbr. 26. Exclamation of comprehension 28. Andes ruins:___ Picchu 29. Perpetual virgin Sandra 32. Adjective for Clifford 33. Getting cold out there... 34. High school shop class 35. He, inFrench 36. Sandbar 37. Mid-winter Montreal hazard 38. Stallone nickname 40. Home country of IanThorpe 45. Popular Thursday night diversion 47. Often a focus ingeology 48. Origin of maple syrup 51. "What Not to Wear" network 53. Irishgirl, sometimes 54. Need this to line your shower 55. Frito-__ 56. One, inGerman 57. Jib or spinnaker 58. Fin 59. Hurryup, indoctor-speak 60. Connected toyour shin bone

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24. Early Schwarzenegger role 26. Shipping magate Onassis 27. Judas Iscariot hangs out inthe lowest level 30. Education Development Centre (abbr.) 31. Summer, in French 37. Sophia Loren's nationality 39. A literary sisterhood, times two 41. Bottoms of feet 42. Recessive insome genes 43. Mangled earns 44. Prove oneself to a useful member 46. Scottish familygrouping 49. Fib or whopper 50. Brazilian soccer legend 52. Old time actress and dancer Charisse 54. Primexpression of disapproval

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H EA TH ER KITTY M A K

espite the presence of the Management Undergraduate Society office and the cafeteria, the basement of Bronfman seems like an inhos pitable place, given its lack of light. At the end of a long hallway is the office for STOP-Shaping Tomorrow's Organizational Practices. The name implies exactly what the club seeks to do—to inform and generate awareness of todays business practices and their implications on society and the environment. Though they do point the fin ger, the club's efforts extend beyond naming names. STOP presents alternative practices and opportunities for students to promote a healthier environment for current and future generations. "We try to use STOP as an open discussion forum— there's no membership fee, it's extremely fluid, and we don't expect people to go to meetings regularly, says Manon De Raad, U3 Strategy. De Raad admits that this lack of structure has led to some disorganization in the club. A lot of projects get started that don't get finished—but, I guess that would be the same in other organizations or NGOs, even with a committee with defined positions." For now, many of the events are confined to Bronfman but are open to students across campus. One of STOP's recent campaigns was for Consumer Awareness Month in November. It encouraged students to participate in Buy Nothing Day, made popular by the Vancouver-based magazine Adbusters. Other activities, such as guest speakers, movie nights, and a Barter Bazaar have proved to be successful. Monthly features about sustainability topics are placed in the Bull and Bear, Management's faculty newspaper. After each event, we try to encourage critical analysis of what was just present ed,” explains De Raad. "We try to ask some tricky ques tions so we get the attendees to really think about what they've just seen, because most of the time it's a little hard to swallow." STOP has a lot on its plate this semester. Currently, they have partnered with McGill International Students Network and the Students' Society McGill University to raise money and awareness for the McGill Tsunami Fund. In March, they plan to work with Kariann Aarup of the Community Experience Initiative to promote an alternative career fair to show Management students that they .can use their skills in places like NGOs and community organ izations. They also have a hand in the Management Undergraduate Society organized Sustainability Conference being held at the beginning of February. For more information about Shaping Tomorrows Organizational Practices, contact stop.mgmt@mcgill.ca or STOP Iget it? Stop?) by a meeting in Bronfman 036 on Fridays at noon. Everyone is welcome. ■

Kennedy's research: this dust doesn't come from old books.

STOP: Fighting Management heartlessness.

Would you tell a stranger to stop littering? I might tell them to pick up what they just littered ; it was obvious that they did it on purpose. —Sarah Muir, U3 Anatomy

STREETER G e n e r a t io n A re y o u

a p a t h y What form of pollution do you think goes most unnoticed? Litter, like gum that gets stuck on the street or on chairs. Are McGill students/our generation in general concerned about the i environment? . It depends where they come from-I'm from Egypt, and there they | Is there any way to get students | more concerned about the envi- | j don't care about recycling at all. In general, I think people in Montreal j ronment and invigorate all their j Ï are concerned about the environment. —Nicole Wasfy, UI International Business j apathetic asses? I think if the government j j offered a reward for those that | Are you environmentally-conscious? j actively worked towards the ben- | I reuse plastic bags, write on both sides of the paper, and j efit of the environment, and heav- 1 when I go hiking or camping and I have to brush my teeth, I spray I ily fined those who didn't—it's all | the backwash around instead of concentrating it in one area so it i matter of positive and negative j doesn't harm the plants or wildlife. Does that count? Ï reinforcement. —Peter Luk, U3 Accounting —Andrea Assanah, U3 Marketing -compiled by Heather Kitty Mak

e n v ir o n m e n ta lly

Are McGill students/our gen eration in general concerned about the environment? Ithink our generation is more soncerned than the older genera tions, it's hard for leaders to force it onto their people when they are so negligent themselves. They'd rather invest the money in industry, where they can see the short-term benefits. —Jamieson Chew, U3 Economics

When I first heard that I was teaching Natural Disasters, I was... really nervous because there were over 400 people in the class. After some terrifying moments at the beginning, it became fun. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's involvement in pre dicting the tsunami in South Asia was... I'm surprised that they haven't gotten more criticism by the world press, but it seemed they issued their warnings as they were supposed to. I think their initial warning was of a magnitude 8 quake. If this had been the 9 that it really was, the warnings may have been taken more seriously. It seems it was communication that was the problem, as is often the case with natural disasters. My advice for future mitigation/prevention of tsunamis in South Asia are... simple sirens and education of local people in coastal towns. My love for volcanoes and geology, my main area of study, came from... my uncle who was a geologist-1 used to go on fossil digs with him, I loved looking for dinosaurs. When I was 18,1 went on a hike up Villa Rica [a vol cano] in Chile with my brother and saw bubbling lava and knew that that was what I wanted to do. , The toughest part about being a volcanologist is... thats a tough one. Ihe travelling and jet lag, but really none of it is tough, I love it all! Natural disaster movies are... usually melodramatic and over-romanti I cized. There's some potential for some good ones, but I still find myself point ing out mistakes. For example, there's one called Krakatoa: East of Java. Krakatoa is west of Java! The best/worst volcano joke I've heard is... the one about aa, a spiky type j of lava. "Ah Ah" is the sound that you make when you run across it. Volcano near-death experiences have... not been frequent for me. The j only semi near-death experience was when I was at Mount Etna during an eruption—a rogue individual bomb came flying out of the volcano at a funny angle and landed a couple hundred feet from me. In my spare time, I... usually do outdoors stuff—hiking, snowboarding water sports, surfing, and some photography. I also play ice hockey the English way—very badly. My favourite part of Montreal is... Tam Tams in the summer. —compiled by Fteather Kitty Mak

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s e n s e s p o llu tio n JENNIFER JETT

hat's the price tag on an uninterrupted night of sleep? According to a Quebec judge, it's worth $1,200 a year. On November 30, Laurentian residents living near a snov^ mobile path were granted $6- to $8-million in compensation for the past seven years. The judge also banned snowmobiles from the area. Noise and light pollution are less visible than landfills and smog, but people are starting to take notice. The class-action snowmobile law suit is part of a larger movement to turn the volume down. Boston's US$14.6-billion "Big Dig" project, which is transplanting the city's freeway system underground, began in 1991 and is nearing com pletion. Locally, à new by-law bans Montreal's "Spoonman," 52-yearold Cyrill Esteve, from playing spoons outside Ogilvy's on rue Ste. Catherine. In the era of Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib, human rights groups have even categorized prolonged exposure to loud rap or rock music as a form of torture. Noise as a threat to quality of life is a relatively new phenome non, said Les Blomberg, executive director of the Noise Pollution Clearinghouse in Montpelier, Vermont. "Just 100 years ago, the two biggest noise sources we have right now—airplanes and highways—didn't even exist," Blomberg said. "1903 was the year Ford Motor Companies started, 1903 was the year of the Kitty Hawk flight." Eardrum-splitting inventions have continued to appear in the past Jew decades—among them the snowmobile, leaf blower, weedwacker, and car alarm. As the roar of technology grew louder, the ability to escape it declined. "It used to be that people with means

who didn't like noise could escape it by moving to the suburbs," remarked Blomberg, who characterizes noise pollution as "audible lit ter. " “But that doesn't really work anymore because everyone who moves to the suburbs has taken the noise with them," he added. What that means is people are

more interested in fixing the problem." Noise pollution takes a noticeable toll on individuals, Blomberg asserted, with effects ranging from hearing damage to sleep loss. People exposed to high noise levels also have higher levels of stressrelated problems. The cacophony has consequences for society as well. "There's been a lot of research that has shown that in noisy envi ronments people are less generous," Blomberg said. Since McGill opened New Residence Hall last year on avenue du Parc near rue Prince Arthur, professionals living in the McGill Ghetto have complained about the noise students make. But Blomberg said the main culprits behind noise pollution are airports, highways, and businesses. Of course, there is one pollutant students can control—those ubiquitous cellphones. "It's very simple. If you're in school, if you're in class, turn it off," explained Blomberg, or at least ut if on vibrate. The cellphone is an example of etiquette trailing ehind technology, he noted. "We've become so enamoured of the technology that we just use it without thinking about our neighbours." Whether the offending noise comes from construction or car alarms, cities are finding creative solutions. New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is especially cracking down. Since 2002, Bloomberg's Operation Silent Night has sent police armed with sound level meters into the noisiest neighbourhoods, netting more than 34,000 criminal-court summonses, according to a November 17 New York Sun article. Last summer he proposed legislation making it easier for police to impose fines for deafening stereos, jingling ice

public began receiving storm warnings and sever A s to rm b y a n y o th e r n a m e al systems of easier monikers were introduced. E x a m in in g t h e title s o f t e m p e s t s From 1942 to 1950, a corresponding letter was assigned to the current LIZ ALLEMANG year, thus the first tropical . storm would be titled "1947 A," the second I n the path of a storm, as any remotely news savvy child should "1947 B." Forecasters, deciding that this system was confusing know, the vigorous fury with which a hurricane can hit is and error-ridden, began naming storms, based on the West impressive. But beyond the obvious destruction —roofless Indian custom of naming hurricanes after the particular saint's day homes, loss of life, economic suffering, and utter environmental on which they occurred. Though the initial list of names was chaos—we are grossly uninformed as to the [comparatively unim somewhat basic, representing every letter from the phonetic portant) technical aspects. If a natural disaster isn't sensational alphabet and reusable once each had been exhausted, it has then it has to hit close to home to get our attention. But even if since become quite thought out. you aren't at risk of being pelted with aerodynamic lawn furniture, In 1953, a list of female names was produced and stream it is worth considering the preparation that goes into every storm lined, and the WMO committee that created the list excluded season. Most interestingly though, hurricanes and tropical storms names beginning with the letters Q, U, X, Y, and Z as they were are given names based upon a detailed system specific to each uncommon. The system required fine-tuning once forecasters real region. ized that having only one list of names resulted in unnecessary confusion. As such, a rotating list of girls' names was put in place From "45° 28' N, 73° 45' W" to "Hurricane Deb" in *1955. The reason for hurricanes being named exclusively In Canada, the process of naming a hurricane or tropical female is twofold: first, it was traditional to refer to ships as female storm was introduced in 1950 .by the World Meteorological and ships were often the first to be affected by a storm. Second, Organization after the previous method of identification proved and here's hoping the meteorologists never mentioned this point confusing. Until 1942, storms were named for their latitudinal-lon in front of their wives, storms were thought to have the tempera gitudinal point of origin, but as radios became more popular, the ment of women, shifting directions frequently and without reason.

cream trucks, and barking dogs—"the city that never sleeps" would join several other cities with 10-minute barking time limits. Montreal residents haven't been sleeping well, either, despite the city's best efforts. During nighttime construction on the Decarie expressway last year, the city blasted ocean sounds into the surround ing residential neighbourhoods. Blomberg is not impressed. "Creating more noise to hide noise isn't really a solution," he noted. "It just makes the world noisier. Blomberg is concerned that students raised in a noisy world will be unaware of the value of quiet. "I would encourage people to visit a wilderness area, and when they're there, listen to the natural soundscapes and enjoy the peace and quiet," he said, "because I think if we don't learn to value it, we'll never try to preserve it." The light, the light! Take pride, Montrealers: Our fair city produces more light pollu tion than even New York. There are two main reasons for this according to Rémi Laçasse, president of la Fédération des astronomes amateurs du Québec. First, the abundance of snow reflects light towards the sky. Second, the low cost of energy in Quebec discourages people from conserving. Light pollution is the glow created by commercial and residential lighting—it explains why stars are more visible in the countryside. Since the observatory at the Parc national du Mont-Mégantic was built in 1976, light pollution in the surrounding Eastern Townships has doubled. "We have a big campaign.on that because if we don't stop it, in 20 years that obser vatory will become totally useless," Laçasse said. Like noise pollution, light pollution has negative health implications, specifically for eye sight. It also impacts birds' migration patterns and other animal behaviour, Laçasse said, as well as humans' circadian rhythms. "We weren't born to be living in [daylight] 24 hours a day," he said. He added that if each person reduced his electricity use, the results would be significant. "We have a tendency sometimes to say, 'Well, it's a major prob lem, but it's the governments problem [or] it's someone else's prob lem,"' he said. "But at the end of the day it's all of us individuals who contribute to that."B

„ As flattering as that is, men's names were added in 1979. That same year also saw the introduction of six different lists to be used in rotation: therefore the list used in 2005 will appear again in 2011. The lists from one year to the next alternate gender—in 2006 the first storm will be Alberto and in 2007 Andrea. The names on the list also reflect the culture of the region. Montreal, for example, is part of the larger Atlantic basin which represents the Caribbean, Central and North America; accordingly, English, Spanish, and French names are used. Early retirement In the case of a storm being particularly noteworthy, such as a great loss of life or severe damage, the areas affected can make a request to the WMO hurricane committee in the region of responsibility to have the name retired. Retiring a name means that it will be replaced by another of the same first letter/gender and is out of commission for 10 years, though in all likelihood will not be used again. To date, more than 50 storms in the Atlantic basin have been retired, including, most recently, HurricaneJuan, which caused over $ 100-million in damage when it hit Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island in September of 2003. The WMO generally sways towards short, distinctive names because they are easier to communicate to both the pub lic and in shore-to-ship exchanges. In the current list published by the Canadian Hurricane Centre, which covers the 2003-2008 season, only one of the 126 names is four syllables (2005's "Ophelia") where as the rest average two. And as this year's storm season kicks into gear, ready yourself to hear all about everything from Hurricane Arlene to Tropical Storm Wilma. ■

D EV A STA TIN G

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ou love them, you hate them, but mostly you just hate them, and with good reason. Sure flash flooding, tornadoes, and blizzards occaisionally translate to a day off from school, but missing your chem quiz is hardly worth uprooted trees, overturned cars, and water-soaked basements. Severe natural disasters, the kind poorly written movies starring Jake Gyllenhaal are based upon, are no reason to celebrate. That being said, some are more noteworthy than others, if they are particularly destructive, deadly, or disasterous. They are all similar in their ability to devastate and leave so many questioning their fate. Here are five of the most sensational/fascinating/overwhelming beasts of nature, both well known and unknown. If you pay attention, you might just learn something that you could repeat at the next dinner party you go to and jsretend like you didn’t just read it in the Tribune. After two hundred years of inactivity, Krakatoa, a volcano in Indonesia, erupted in 1883. As a result of the main volcanic eruption, a tsunami fol lowed and flooded much of the coastal areas of Indonesia. The death toll reached 36,000 people, many of whom lived in the villages along the Sundra Strait. The eruption also had devastating effects on the environment: volcanic dust blew into the upper atmosphere, and interfered with incoming solar radiation; consequently, the earth’s weather was modified for several following years. On October 17, 1989, the Loma Prieta earthquake shook much of northern California, and interrupted the third game of the World Series (San Francisco vs. Oakland). Reaching 6.9 on the Richter scale, the earthquake was one of the largest to hit the area in decades. Because so many people had left work earlier that day to catch the game on the tube, the death toll was significantly lower than what may have occurred: 63 people perished, as opposed to the initial 300 estimated to have died. Candlestick Park “swayed,” but no casualties were reported inside the stadium. Montreal was hard hit with its own natural disaster inJanuary of 1998. An unusually long ice storm—five days in length affected much of southern Quebec, covering roads and hydro lines with thick layers of ice. As a result of the weight, many electrical pylons fell, thus leaving many in the cold and in the dark. Most schools and businesses were closed and power was dif ficult to restore because of the dangerous conditions left by the storm. Shelters were opened to accommodate those who had no resources, such as fireplaces and generators, to keep warm. Hypothermia was a major problem for many who believed they could live in an unheated home for several weeks; obviously, a wrong assumption in the month of January in Montreal. , Charley, Frances, Ivan, and Jeanne are not the names of your moms bowling teammates, but rather the hardest hitting hurricanes to strike Florida and the Caribbean this past year. Causing over 3,000 deaths, most of which were in Haiti, the 2004 hurricane season was one of the deadliest in recorded history. In total, the hurricanes caused around $42-billion in damages. The recent tsunami disaster in Asia is the most devastating, large scale natural disaster in years. With a climbing death count of over 150,000 in 1 1 countries, concerns are growing over the likely outbreaks of diseases that could kill thousands more. Reports from the World Health Organization claim that many cases of malaria, dengue fever, diarrhea, and infected wounds have been surfacing. It has yet to reach epidemic proportions, and the UN is content with the world's efforts so far.* —Geraldine Anemia

iS S *

o f t h e w o r ld a s w e k n o w

it? DANIEL CHODOS

eteorites orbit Earth's crust on a fairly reg ular basis. Some students may have been fortunate enough to witness a "meteor shower," which occurs when Earth's orbit intersects the orbit of a meteor stream. In these sit uations, meteors that enter the atmosphere usually disintegrate and are dramatically slowed as a result of atmospheric friction—not particularly exciting stuff. However, there is a limited but nev ertheless noteworthy possibility that a large mete orite could strike earth with unimaginable force. Would our lives change much as a result? Let's find out. A meteorite consists of mostly stone and, in some cases, iron. If the meteorite in question is not broken up, it could be larger than a kilometre in diameter, and it may travel as fast as 70 km per second. Upon striking Earth's surface, the impact will create a base surge, which consists of a thick cloud of gas and debris travelling at absurd speeds, immediately vapourizing anything in its path. Devastating earthquakes caused by tectonic plates moving below the Earth's surface will rav age many areas around the world. Furthermore, there is a strong possibility that the Earth will shake to such an extent that dozens of volcanoes will simultaneously erupt on the opposite side of the Earth, furthering the amount of gas and debris in the air, and generating magma flows hotter than Carmen Electro. Then, of course, it is possible the meteorite will strike a body of water. In this case, we will witness global tsunamis, the likes of which would put the disaster in Southeast Asia to shame—just try swimming away from a 5,000-foot wave. In

addition, runaway hurricanes known as "hyper canes," which could involve winds faster than 1,000 km per hour, would blow away much of what we hold dear. These effects may not sound terribly appeal ing, but I would be more concerned about the environmental impacts of such an event. In addi tion to the harmful gas and dust emitted as a result of the impact itself, soot generated from wildfires will rise into the Earth's stratosphere. In other words, recycling will no longer be anyone's num ber one priority. This atmospheric disruption will block out the sun, causing most crops, as well as most humans, to die off. Enter: global winter, a fundamental climate change caused by the tremendous amount of sul phur dioxide being injected into the stratosphere. This will lead to mass extinctions all over earth. Forget the Kyoto Protocol; the acid rain associat ed with this change will tear your skin off like a million Band Aids. In addition, the carbon dioxide released from burning and vapourized rocks will heat the atmosphere, leading to tremendously dangerous global warming. So if you hear about an impending meteorite event, don't make any major plans. Fortunately, the chances of such a large meteorite actually orbiting and striking earth are pretty slim. Experts' opinions diverge on the exact probabilities associ ated with this type of event, but estimates range from once every 250,000 years to once every million years. But when it does happen and it's each man for himself—unless you're an amoeba or a cockroach—you better be hoping that Lady Luck is on your side. ■

■

TRUSTING WEATHER REPORTS S tic k

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(w e a th e r )

hether planning your latest and greatest tropical getaway or simply just what to wear to school, we all rely on weather reports to tell us how the weather will turn out, but exactly how accurate are they? It turns out that 24-hour forecasts are reliable about 85 per cent of the time, while five-day forecasts can be trust ed about 80 per cent of the time. The further ahead one looks, however, the less reliable the weather report is; thus, planning your vacation around the weatherman or even advanced weather reporting systems like those employed by Environment Canada may be an exercise in futility due to the complexity and randomness of weath er systems. Although weather technology today is highly evolved, even the most advanced analyses may not always predict Mother Earth's moods much better than the tactics of ancient cultures. Meteorology, in its early stages, was based on observation of the skies alone. The

m a n understanding of weather made no great leaps forward until the invention of the barometer in the 1700s, which allowed for measurements of air pressure. It was quickly observed that dropping air pressure indicated a coming storm. Communication technology, however, not yet developed enough to allow us to make any real use of this knowledge, but the invention of the electric telegraph in 1830 suddenly made meteorology a field highly rele vant for the masses. After World War I, it was discovered that weather systems followed the laws of physics, mean ing that predictions could be made. Today, weather cen tres divide the Earth into grids and atmospheric wind, air pressure, temperature, and humidity are recorded from 3,500 different observation stations at 20 different levels of altitude. This data is analyzed by a computer program to determine what the weather will be like for the next 15 minutes. ■ —Bryan Badali

How does Montreal stack up? As we all settle in for another winter of ice and frozen limbs, it's time to look back on how last year treated us in terms of weather. Here's hoping to a better 2005. MAX LASTYEAR

MINLASTYEAR

AVERAGE FROM1961-90

January

6.6

-29.0

-9

February

5.5

-24.0

-8

March

15.2

-16.1

-1

April

7.7

-9.0

May

29.2

0.2

June

30.0

6.3

July

31.2

T0.9

August

28.6

8.6

September

26.6

5.1

October

24.2

-3.7

November

14.4

-8.7

December

9.5

-26.7

-6

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KATHERINE FUGLER

L et's get one thing straight: I am not Kate Spade, nor am I

Martha. I cannot create beautiful flower arrangements or master baked Alaska without needing to clean the stove afterwards. Instead I have decided to concentrate my efforts on perfecting the art of entertaining—dinner parties, cocktail parties, tea parties, keggers, tailgate parties, beach parties, slumber par ties. I am reveling in the art of eating while drinking while talking while cooking and serving. We should agree on one thing first: a successful party is one that the guests and the hosts both enjoy. It doesn't mean you won't light the chandelier on fire, or that your conniving room mate won't disappear with the entire bottle of red wine you intend to serve, or even that in the middle of the festivities you will suddenly remember you forgot to invite the girl you want to set up your friend with. Instead, stories like that should just fade into the background of your memories, and you can remember meeting the really hot fireman who lives two floors below and that you ended up setting up with your lab partner. But before we go any further, realize that parties are complex beasts requiring certain conditions and some planning, and in the words of the lovingly missed Brody Brown, "it's like a date," and your guests you must woo. I am not just talking about flowers and chocolate, but about making your guests want to come back, want to talk to you the next day, want to invite you over for dinner, and hey—maybe even send you a thank you note for your pain. So let's choose a type of party. Say, a staggered party where you host a small dinner party, and then later in the evening have more people over for a cocktail hour of chit-chat? First, choose a reason. A motive, if you will, for having said gathering. It never fails to say, "Oh look—it's Saint Camillus de Lellis's birth day!" or, "I am serving a semi-formal dinner at seven o'clock sharp. Can you make it?" Dinner parties are fun—more so if you are the guest of a chef-in-training—but should be kept small unless you enjoy and know how to cook for a large army. Choose your guests wisely. Spend more than a drunken pre-dinner second to

plan the seating arrangement wisely. If Emily Post happens to be your idol—she's a better choice than Ms Stewart, at any rate— you may wish to think up a few relevant, but only slightly contro versial, topics to discuss over dinner. And please do have dinner just about ready when your expected guests walk in the door. Hand them a drink, mingle and relax for a few minutes, and the rest of the meal should be per fect. After clearing the dinner table and preparing for your sec ond troop of guests, bring out the loud, energetic music and dim the lighting. Don't worry—here you can take more of a break! Sit back with your sherry and enjoy the mingling. In advance of the festivities, pay attention to the following tips. One, your apartment needs to be cleaner than it will be the morning after. Yes, you may have to vacuum. Clear off surfaces, as your guests will undoubtedly put their drinks down everywhere, and they will knock things over unless you provide them with enough space. If you will be permitting indoor smoking, take a tip from a girl I know who hides all her house plants on the fire escape to save them from becoming instant ashtrays—or worse. Stuck on ideas? Themes work: play Twister in one room, preferably after smoking a bong in the other. But when thinking décor, avoid copious candle usage or you may light some poor unfortunate drunk aflame... or lose your entire apartment. Offer plentiful seating. Plentiful. Those, my future hosts, are the basics. Find your inner party animal, chef, or wine-and-cheese connoisseur, and find a few friends to practice on. Don't get discouraged before even trying: the New York Times once printed an entire spread on a young woman who invited friends over and served only grilled cheese sandwiches and iceberg lettuce! See, your plan of Doritos, beer, and popcorn isn't looking so bad. Just remember that if you want to host the ubiquitous keg party, complete with flyers and a cover charge, get yourself a iiquor license, and be careful not to pass the booze too far beyond your friends and acquaintances. If you're still stuck for a party motive, good oT Saint Camillus de Lellis's birthday is on June 14th. Pump up the music. ■ KATHERINE FUGLER

HANDS

OFF

THE

CANVAS D is t u r b in g

th e

s a n c t it y

o f

th e

s ta g e SCOTT SAMEROFF

F or those lost in the pursuit of academic excellence,

However, this recent tragedy is unique because the mur der took place while the group was performing in front of a live audience. Whatever happened to the sanctity of the stage? Many of us grew up worshipping rockstars, placing them above the likes of mere mortals; the stage was the play ground for these gods. The stage was once a magical place where any promising talent could play their heart out night after night and be rewarded with immortality. Sadly, in recent times, the stage has begun to mirror the fucked-up The stage w as once a m agical place where an y promising talent could society in which we live play their heart out night after night and be rew arded with immortality. today. Nothing is sacred anymore; noth ing is immune from the Pantera's breakup. increasingly horrific crimes that seem to be occurring with This is not the first time a rockstar/rapper has met a greater frequency these days. violent and unjustified death at the hands of a fan. The All speculation aside, this tragedy is likely to yield Mexican-American diva Selena was murdered by her fan some lasting implications in the music industry. Security at club manager and Marvin Gaye was killed by his father. clubs and venues is going to become increasingly stricter, the events of the real world usually take a backseat to the theoretical framework of the ivory tower. During this past exam period, music fans suffered a great loss, when former Pantera guitarist "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott was fatally shot along with four others in atten dance as his new band Damageplan was performing their opening song in a Columbus, Ohio nightclub. The shooter was a disgruntled fan who was angered by

which isn't exactly a bad thing, except when they claim that the rolled up joint in your pocket has the ability to cause harm and confiscate it. Performers are going to be more concerned with their safety, and therefore may decide to curtail their role as public figures. Worst of all, some artists will think twice about becoming more acces sible to their fans. The Internet has opened up many new avenues for artists to interact with those who adore them, which sometimes carries over beyond the world of cyber space. The fact that fans are taking the music and per sonal events of artists more seriously than the artists them selves is a scary notion for all concerned. Obviously, most fanatics are relatively harmless and actually help their favourite bands continue performing by purchasing albums and numerous other weird arti facts, as well as spreading the gospel of the music. Hopefully this tragic event was simply a freak occur rence, a societal anonhaly. We can only hope that the music industry does not suffer as a result of this incident, and fans continue to support their heroes in a peaceful, healthy way. ■

the mcgill tribune j 11.105 | a&e 17

P R E V I E W S

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F e s tiv a l h o n o u r s m a s t e r s o f p e r s u a s io n

COURTESYOF CINEMA DU PARC MELISSA PRICE ommercial breaks, most would agree, tend to suck. Our favourite shows are rudely interrupted by seem ingly endless blocks of annoying music, obnoxious "actors," and mass materialism being shoveled down our throats. Taken by most as a signal to refill the chip bowl, flip channels, or deeply ponder that hole in your sock, commer cials today range from simply boring to absolutely infuriating. So why the hell would anyone willingly sit through two solid hours of people trying to sell us stuff? Well, since todays bombardment of advertising has gotten so bad that the only way to protect yourself from attempts at persuasion is to live under your bed wearing earplugs, the occasional Really Good Commercial has been forced to evolve—fast—in order to raise its head above the deafening caterwaul of "Buy me!" These are the commercials that actually make you laugh, the ones you pause on while channel surfing, and the few you may even find yourself telling your friends about until you start to feel like a tool. The Cannes Advertising Festival actually gives awards for ad agency brilliance, and, should you feel inclined, you can check out the winners at Cinéma du Parc (3575 avenue du Parc) until January 13th. And yes, they are really good. The bulk of awards went to commercials selling cars, friendly suggestive ads advocat ing soccer, and the ubiquitous anti-smoking public service

announcements. Even if none of the above ads' goals appeal to you—much like my situation—the entire two hours remain utterly enjoyable. Tactics ranged from inventing ridiculously funny skits to staging mini-movies which were almost, I hate to say it, artistic. From two stupidly cute computer-generated caterpillars eating tea leaves to a stadium-sized game of musical chairs; a sober driving message with a seeing-eye dog lapping up spilled beer; that oddly entrancing colourful iPod commercial; a mythical product called Shards O Glass Popsicles; an ad for French lessons blaming Americas heart attack rate on the amount of English spoken, and so forth, it's amazing how bloody good these things can be. Of course, we can't deny the bewildering continued awesomeness of all beer commercials. Budweiser alone took home nine awards, and it's easy to see why. Their ' Real Men of Genius" campaign is annoying in a funny way that one has to enjoy, while other commercials about the usefulness of diplomatic immunity and a shipwrecked castaway being tor tured by empty Bud Light bottles are so freaking hilarious, they almost make you forget how nasty the product is! The Grand Prix, however, went to a Playstation 2 com mercial where millions of people piled inside a rather trippy mountain, complete with a Shirley Temple song playing in the background. Just trust them—it's oddly good. Now if you'll excuse me, I've been possessed by an uncontrollable urge to purchase some brand name goods and services. ■

^ jiu sic C o u n try - w e s te rn - s u rfe r- ro c k D o n 't u n d e r s t a n d ?

T h e

S a d ie s

SCOTT SAMEROFF ressed in dark suits, their ragged hair flowing freely below their ears, Dallas and Travis Good towered over the enthusiastic audience at Le Swimming Friday night. The Good brothers, along with Mike Belitsky on drums and Sean Dean on standup bass, make up Toronto's extremely versatile and talented quartet, the Sadies. Playing their original mix of garage-influenced country and western music, which taps the fringes of a mul titude of other genres, the Sadies laid down a grueling, two-hour set. For those who love the deep, rolling guitar licks of Ennio Morricone's The Good, the Bad & the Ugly sound track, you will fall in love with the Sadies wonderful instru mentation, which showcases the bands love for tradition al country riffs. Starting the set off with "Dying is Easy and "Cheat," both from their debut album, Precious Moments, the band quickly made it clear that their hearts reside in the classic country/western sounds of their upbringing. Both these tunes had rolling basslines, which were trotted over with dark, twangy guitar chords and notes. In other songs, such as "Higher Power" and "Whiskey," Travis Good trad ed in his guitar for a fiddle and bow, and the crowd mor

e x p l a i n ...

phed from tamed head-bobbers to full-on, feet-stomping, dancing maniacs, reminiscent of whiskey-soaked cow boys. Later on, the band exposed yet another side of their multi-faceted musical skills. "Loved on Look" is rock and roll in its purest form, showcasing howling vocals and roaring guitars, whose chorus melts into a harmonious ode to the surf rock of the 1960s. They played a cover of Johnny Cash's classic "Big River" and the twangy "Workin' Man Blues," by Merle Haggard. Toward the evening's end, the Sadies played the popular "The Curdled Journey, a release from their most recent album, Favourite Colours, a rich, mesmerizing orchestral piece. The Sadies are blazing a new trail in the North American music scene with their modernization of the clas sic country/western sound. Even when playing songs rem iniscent of early punk, a few western licks made their way into the mix, adding a whole other dimension. Do yourself a favour and check these guys out, in both recorded and live incarnations. All three of their albums are solid from beginning to end, and their performance was easily worth the $8 admission price. The Sadies will be returning to Club Soda on February 1 1 as the supporting band for Canadian country star Neko Case. ■

FESTIVAL. Wildside Festival—Centaur Theatre—453 rue St-François-Xavier—January 11-22. How do you take a children's story and turn it into an "adults-only" play that has thrilled audi ences all over Europe and North America? Stop by the Centaur Theatre over the next two weeks and find out. The popular stage setting in Old Montreal will cram in several showings of five plays, including the aforementioned adaptation of Pinocchio. Other attractions at the Eighth Annual Wildside Festival include the hilarious socio-political satire, Kabarett: A Cheerical, and the artistic Solus, which was featured in. the Tribune last semester. Buy a five-play Superpass for only $30. Call 288-3161 to reserve your tickets, and check www.centaurtheatre.com for more information about the festival. FILM. What the # $ *! Do We KnowCinéma du Parc—3575 avenue du Parc—until January 13. Appearances can be deceiving, right? This oft-taken-for-granted statement may be deceiving in itself, as our perception of appearances is no doubt conditioned by our conception of our selves. What the # $ *! Do We Know explores this and similar questions from a philosophical paradigm that many viewers may find enlighten ing. Warning: metaphysical movies are not for everyone—these, sorts of films can come off as preachy and overly intense, so those without a passion for philosophical journeys may be left wanting. Pick up a Cinéma du Parc flyer or call 281-1900 for details. MUSIC. Sum 41 —Metropolis—59 rue SteCatherine E.—Friday, January 14. One of the catalysts of this generation's re born love for punk rock, Sum 41 plays this week at Metropolis as part of the Canadian leg of their current world tour. Coming off an ominous appearance at a benefit in Congo, Africa, where the band was nearly killed in a warfare cross-fire outside their hotel room, Sum 41 has toned down their formerly hardcore image, adding a touch of emo to their repertoire on their latest album, Who is Chucky, named for a BCnative the band met during their African ordeal. For more information about Friday's show, con tact Metropolis at 844-3500. MUSIC. Scissor Sisters—Le Spectrum—318 rue Ste-Catherine O.—Sunday, January 16. Great musical ability is only a fraction of what makes a great concert. You don't have to tell this to the discodropping gaggle known as the Scissor Sisters, who beat out the Red Hot Chili Peppers for Virgin Radio's "Gig of the Year" for their performance at the UK's V Festival in August. Incorporating a newage sound that evokes a mental image of Jamiroquai, along with an eclectic mix of all kinds of rock, this quin tet—they're not actually sisters or solely femaleare not afraid to make their mark on music histo ry. Spectrum's intimate venue provides an excel lent atmosphere for this upand-coming discoesque music marvel. Call 861-5851 for tickets and show information. CLASSICAL MUSIC. Gil Shaham and Elgar's Romanticism—Salle Wilfrid Pelletier (Place des Arts)—175 rue Ste-Catherine O.— January 11-12. Be dazzled this week by Grammy award winning violinist Gil Shaham, as he performs the eloquent Fourth Symphony of Brahms, accompa nied by noted conductor David Zinman. Shaham is known as one of America's most finely tuned young violinists, working with the likes of John Williams, musical composer for Star Wars and Indiana Jones. A veteran of the classical sounds, Zinman has been head maestro for Zurich's Tonhalle Orchestra, the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra, and is musical director for the Aspen Music Festival and School. These two will surely shine, as they feed off each other's grace and musical prowess this week at Place des Arts. ■

CREDITS-.CENTAURTHEATRE.COM; IMDB.COM; ISLANDRECORDS.COM; SCISSORSISTERS.COM; PITTSBURGHSYMPHONY.ORG

18 a&e j 11.1.05 | the mcgill tribune

A re y o u c o n s id e r in g a c a r e e r a s a n a r c h ite c t?

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If y o u e n jo y d e s ig n in g an d y o u 're in te re s te d in b u ild in g s a n d c itie s , c o n s id e r s tu d y in g

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V isit o u r w e b s it e a t a r c h p la n .d a l.c a o r re q u e s t an a d m is s io n p a c k a g e fro m th e S ch o o l o f A rc h ite c tu re : a rc h .o ffic e @ d a l.c a P.O. Box 1000, Halifax, Nova Scotia B3J 2X4 phone: 902 494 3971

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DALHOUSIE U N IV ER SIT Y inspiring M inds

T h e M an W ho L e a r n e d t o F a ll A fe a tu re docum entary

Thursday January 13, 2005, 7PM Presbyterian C ollege, 3495 U niversity Street

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The Faculty of Religious Studies is very pleased to invite you for the screening of the movie about Philip Simmons: “ T h e M a n W h o L e a r n e d t o F a i l ” by Garry Beitei

Philip Simmon ,, a thirty five year old English Professor with two young children and a future full of promise, developed Lou Gehrig's disease, then for ten years experienced life being ladled out of his body "one teaspoon at a time." Phil died on July 27th, 2002, leaving us a great gift, his award winning book, "Learning to Fall: the Blessings of an Imperfect Life." "The Man Who Learned to Fall" is an unforgettable film featuring Phil, his family and the odyssey they shared over his final months of life. Lovingly crafted by gifted Montreal filmmaker Garry Beitei, the film, like Phil's book, is "generous and genuine, like water from a deep well, halfway between a meditation and a dance", "an act of grace".

MGM.COM L IS E T R E U T L E R

on true events, the film tells the tale of a house with an evil voice as it threatens to kill the Lutz family. S o many films, so little time." How many of you mutter For those ready to revisit childhood memories, check this while plodding through a coursepack during out The Pink Panther (July 22), a sure hit with the crime-solv commercial breaks? Perhaps a trailer caught your ing duo of Steve Martin and Kevin Kline, supported by eye? If you're on a first-name basis with the friendly faces Beyoncé. This won't be just any diamond heist. selling popcorn at Parc already—or perhaps if you'd like Fans of Ghost World, line up: Terry Zwigoff and Dan to be—then take a look at some of 2005's upcoming fea Clowes are back with another comic book adaptation, tures and plan your schedule accordingly. this time entitled Art School Confidential (Spring release]. Remember Get Shorty? Here comes the sequel! Be Egotistical dreamer Jerome arrives at a well-known acade Cool (March 4) takes a new "spin" on the assassin genre, my only to discover that evèry stereotype and pretension placing John Travolta's Chili Palmer smack-dab in the cen he's ever heard about art school is true. As he aims to tre of the music business. He's surrounded by the usual sus prove his worth, watch for the talents of John Malkovich pects, including Uma Thurman, Harvey Keitel, and Danny and Anjelica Huston. DeVito, but there's a surprise cast member waiting for you. Another school year will bring us another school hor Here's a hint: sometimes this "Dude Looks Like a Lady.” ror, The Woods (September 2), where loner Heather If you're looking for an uplifting true story, in just a (Agnes Bruckner) discovers her new boarding school's for few weeks Swimming Upstream (February 4) will surely est locale hides a dark secret. Sounds clichéd? It may very delight. Set in Brisbane, Australia in the 1950s, this film well be—but don't fret, as our beloved Bruce Campbell tells the story of young Tony, who overcomes his alcoholic will be sure to save the day. father to compete in the Olympic Games. Can't wait? This may indeed be the Year of the Remake, but from Grab the book of the same name, written by Anthony and the good looks of these upcoming films, we just might Diane Fingleton. avoid the 2006 remake-hangover. As for whether or not When finals simply fail to frighten, try The Amityville we will be forced to contend with the usual obnoxious Horror (April 15) and "the house that started it all." Based summer blockbusters..., no promises have been made. ■

It begins on the streets. It ends here.

For any information, contact Dr. Gaëlle Fiasse (gaelle.fiasse@mcgill.ca)

Put Y our

D r a m a t ic T a le n t s M ; u

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to W o r k in M l l e c flO

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The M ile End M ission / M cGill Ecum enical Chaplaincy Theatre Project is looking for aspiring and experienced P E R F O R M IN G A R T IS T S interested in contributing their talents to an exciting N E W P E R F O R M A N C E P R O JE C T concerned with im portant issues of today - spirituality, anti-poverty empowerment, social justice, woman's rights, peace and sexuality. We w ill be holding an INFORM ATIONAL M EETING at 3 pm, FRIDAY, JANUARY 14, at th e M o n tre a l D io ce sa n C o lle g e , 3 4 7 3 U N IV E R S IT Y (just south of M ilton). Or

PIRED BY A T rue Story S A M

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contact ROBERT: (514) 279-6208 / new berg@ cam .org

The M IL E E N D M IS S IO N is a "safe and welcom ing com m unity, where people can come together for mutual support, personal growth and concrete program s, and to serve the community of M ile-End."

NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN

C o p y rig h ts 2004 by Param ount Pictures. A ll R ights Reserved.

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IN THEATRES EVERYWHERE JANUARY

1 4

the mcgill tribune | 11.1.05 | a&e 19

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S tu d e n t b a n d s

th e h e a t

R E V I E W S CD. Bangzilla by Mix Master Mike

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Just in time for last year's Halloween, turntable veteran Mix Master Mike, of Beastie Boys fame, cut up classic film blurbs and cheesy horror flick instrumentals for a hign-octane mix of evil, twisted beats. You don't even have to be a fan of turntable techniques to recog nize Mike's incredible talent and sixth sense for creating kooky sound collages that have you scratching your head and moving your ass in an inexplicable unison. Above all, there's his quirky sense of humour, highlight ed by a Robert Johnson sample howling "I've got to keep on moving on top of a speedy-tongued rapper whose words come scratching to halt. Other moments are more reminiscent of the Star Wars theme music—if jacked up on steroids—with dark synth phrases and racing breakbeats. Like all great turntabling records, Bangzilla will utterly amaze and hum ble a large percentage of its audience, while leaving others to suffer from one hell of a migraine, brought on by the constant cuts, fades, and scratches. One thing's for certain, however—don't plan on sitting still while enjoying this warp speed ode to the classics. —Scott Sameron

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DVD. Unconstitutional: The War on Our Civil Liberties (The Disinformation Company)

SID PHARASI & SCOTT SAMEROFF

I t's not often that an event showcases talent unique to

McGill. But SnowAP, McGill's unofficial party headquar ters for the first two weeks of winter classes, presents just such an opportunity. Located on the west side of lower field, the SnowAP tent is an ideal alternative to class this January, supplying ample cheap beer and dozens of bands. Here's a sample of four that played last week: da Funkt Da Funkt took the SnowAP stage last Thursday after noon, and the quintet rocked out with a jazzy combination of funk and blues that was fun and original. Although young and unpolished, these guys are onto something good, using a Moog synthesizer, guitar, bass, drums, and trumpet to orchestrate well-composed songs and jams. The crowd; of mid-afternoon drinkers was brought to their feet by inspired trumpet solos, played over a backdrop of spacey, drawn-out synth notes and reggae-inspired funk that had everybody's heads bobbing up and down. Check these guys out when they play Le Swimming at 10pm next Tuesday. The Goners Ian Ratzer of da Funkt gave up his bass and sat him self in front of a keyboard to play for the boozy, end-of-afternoon class overflow in the crowded tent. Referring to them selves as the Goners, Ratzer, alongside Alan Mann on gui tar, Avi Ludmer on bass and Eric Albanyan on drums rocked the house for a good part of the hour with some old fash ioned blues. Impressive solos by both Ratzer and Mann slowly pulled the chatty crowd in towards the stage, and the groove set by the bass and drums led some of the head bobbers to bust a few moves on the dance floor. Look out for them in the future. The AOT McGill's own unofficial live hip hop act, AOT, took command in front of a packed crowd teeming With antici pation, opening with their lead single. An acronym for "Ashes on the Table," AOT is made up of eight versatile artists with an eclectic set of skills. These guys attempt not only to bring live MC'ing on stage, but they also demon

strate a unique energy and vibe that is a pillar of hip hop culture. AOT applies varied styles from song to song, using a great range of beats. They also keep their show visually enticing with standard hip hop antics, gear, and dance moves. For more information about the band, visit their Web site at www.theaot.com, and catch them playing at Le Swimming this Thursday for a night of good beats, cool rhymes, and beautiful women. Hearts of Palm With raspy vocals, loudly distorted power chords, and plenty of rockstar bravado, McGill's Hearts of Palm treated the SnowAP crowd to a great set of music this past Wednesday afternoon. Together for over a year, they have developed a solid repertoire of originals and well-selected circa-1970s covers that showcase their talent as instrumen talists dl^ell as songwriters. A raw mix df garage rock and classic blues, Hearts of Palms sound is an ode to the smoky, beer-soaked bars of the city that have become their playground. Those in attendance were treated to a highoctane performance of well-rehearsed songs, an ultimate showcase of the band's dedication to quality and their love for the stage. For details on the band's future plans, visit their Web site at www.heartsofpalmmusic.com. So if lecture-related learning isn't on your schedule this week, grab yourself a beer—or four—under the our beloved big top and get ready to shake your ass. On the program for this week...*

Unconstitutional: The War on Our Civil Liberties, along with two unrelated films, forms what one Internet blogger calls the "Fuck America Trilogy." It details how the USA PATRIOT Act was railroaded through Congress shortly after the 9/1 1 attacks, and how the greatly expanded powers of law enforce ment have shredded the Bill of Rights. Michael Moore pounded the "Bush: bad" mantra into moviegoers' heads last summer, but in the end, Fahrenheit 9/1 I was mostly style, with little substance. Unconstitutional, the third in a series of films that take on the 2000 election and the war in Iraq, eschews personal attacks in favour of policy analysis, and points fingers in mul tiple directions. Bush takes a backseat to such power players as Attorney General John Ashcroft, while the film illustrates an oft-overlooked fact: it took 435 lawmakers to make the PATRIOT Act a reality. Released in October, Unconstitutional joins a crowded field of political documentaries that preach to the converted. The hour-long film was sponsored by the American Civil Liberties Union, and director Nonny de la Pena dutifully trots out several ACLU talking heads. What the film is missing is comments from the other side. Civil liberty activists and politicians from both sides of the aisle launch plenty of accusations, but the filmmakers make no apparent effort to track down government officials to respond. For instance, Unconstitutional portrays the tragic 10-month detention of Syrian refugee Safouh Hamoui, along with his wife and adult daughter. Why didn't the director interview the FBI and immigra tion officials who arrested them? Vincent Cannistraro, the former CIA director for counter-terrorism and oper ations analysis, argues in the film that such arrests are counterproductive because they alienate the very communities that could supply intelligence about impending terrorist attacks. Rather, this film makes clear that the American gov ernment seems to be fighting the war on terror with no intelligence at all. —Jennifer Jett

a&e If y o u w rite fo r A & E y o u will b e a s h a p p y a n d a s se x y a s the fine "sp r in g b r e a k c o u p le " to y o u r right! C o m e to m e e tin g s,

TUESDAY, JAN 11 Tonal Ecstasy - 1:00 Katie Leigh - 2:30 Steak This Thick - 4:00 Kokoro - 5:30

WEDNESDAY, JAN 12 B-Tards 2:30 Moksa 4:00 DJ CD 5:30

THURSDAY, JAN 13 The Goners 2:30 Dave Borins 4:00 Terry and Deaner 5:30

FRIDAY, JAN 14 da Funkt 2:30 Vanderpark 4:00 Throwback 5:30 Atomic Brothers 6:30

e v e ry M o n d a y a t 5 :3 0 p m in the sm o k in g section (c o u g h , c o u g h ) o f C a fé r a m a . arts@ tribune.m cgill.ca

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Martlets championship hopes on thin ice M c G i l l 's

s e v e n th -p la c e

DANNY NGUYEN McGill's women's hockey team was clearly a little rusty heading into its first games in over a month. And if they don't hurry up and turn things around, their national championship hopes may be derailed. The Martlets entered Concordias annual Theresa Humes Tournament on Friday looking for a taste of the competition they'll face at the nationals in March, in which the team has an automatic berth as hosts. "The nationals have the same format as this tournament, and the calibre of play is very simi lar," noted forward Véronique Lapierre before the games got underway. But if the team's results are any indication, Head Coach Peter Smith and the players have reason to worry. After dropping their first game 32 in a shootout to the second-ranked Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawks, the Martlets lost their sec ond game in a 5-4 overtime decision against thé unranked Queens Golden Gaels. Although McGill rebounded to shutout Plattsburgh State 10 in the seventh-place game, the Martlets appear unable to compete with Canadas best. The troubling inconsistency that has seen the Martlets drop five of their last seven games was very much on display in Saturdays defeat. The first period was marked by a fast pace and strong play in the defensive zone, as the Martlets turned aside the Gaels scoring chances while capitalizing on a number of their own. The McGill power play unit was especially adept at positioning itself in the offensive zone, setting up the period's only goals, one by Shauna Denis and the other by Kristin Leuszler. The second 20 minutes, however, was far different from the first. "We played well in the first period, but after that we let go of ourselves and were not able to come back," said Lapierre. Indeed, the Golden Gaels came out with strong play, outshooting the Martlets 14 to six

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and getting two goals within the first nine min utes. The Martlets answered back, though, with in a minute after the second Queen's marker, when Valérie Paquette scored off a feed from Laura Ruhnke. Ruhnke then got a goal of her own at 13:39 of the period to restore the two-goal lead, but McGill qouldn't hold on from there. The Martlets handed Queen's a five-on-three advantage after successive penalties taken by blueliners Julia Carlton and Patrice Mason, and the Gaels responded with a goal at 17:29 of the period to cut the deficit to 4-3. Although none of the players nor Smith protested, Queen's powerplay goal was controversial due to what looked like goalie interference on the scoring play, Two-goal lead slips away

The momentum had swung towards the Gaels as the third period began, and Queen's notched the tying goal halfway through the frame, on a play that left Martlets' goalie Kalie Townsend alone and helpless against the Golden Gaels' rush. Through the third, the Martlets also missed several occasions to ham mer the nail in the coffin, according to Ruhnke. "We gave out everything on the ice, but we were just not lucky enough to put the puck in the net/' she said. In overtime, McGill again failed to capital If the Concordia tournament is any indication, ize on an opportunity to score after the Gaels's Jackie Thurston was called for hooking at 1:33 it is at 9am," she said. of the extra stanza. The Martlets' lack of disci Although the Martlets did win, it seemed as pline again hurt them, as Paquette was sent to if the early start time and the strain of playing the penalty box just 57 seconds later, and after three games in less than 48 hours drained them, the Queen's penalty expired, Michelle Clark- and they did not dominate the Cardinals as they Crumpton slipped the puck past Townsend for the could have, recording only 13 shots on goal. winner. Denis scored six minutes into the first period, and McGill managed to hold on the rest of the way Finishing on a high note to a 1-0 win, as Catherine Herron recorded the Heading into the seventh-place game shutout by turning away 21 shots. against Plattsburgh State, Lapierre emphasized "Our toughest opponent is ourselves," said the importance of not losing three straight con veteran forward Katherine Safka, admitting that tests. McGills effort was somewhat lacking in the "We will play our best in that game, even if games. "We need to play well for 60 minutes." The Martlets also need to show some

NICOLE LEAVER McGill still has some work to do to.

improvement quickly, as the nationals are just two months away, and All-Canadian goalie Kim StPierre won't be between the pipes to make up for the team's defensive mistakes as she has in years past. For his part, though, Smith remains opti mistic about the team's stretch run. "We've been off for a long time, now we need to get back into it and that is what this tour nament does," he said. "So I think the fact that we got three good games in is terrific." Luckily for Smith and the Martlets, with three more non-conference games to go before a tilt with Ottawa on January 29, the team still has time to find itself and get back on track toward a gold medal. ■

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T SN turns 21 this year, and while there won't be the same

hoopla that surrounded its cousin ESPN reaching the US legal drinking age a few years back, it appears that our venerable cable sports network is still headed for a giant hang over in 2005. In years past, TSN was leagues ahead of its rival Sportsnet, which since its inception nas reminded viewers of an untalented cover band, hoping to ape its rivals greatness but always falling short. Now, however, the TSN of quintessen tial pros like Jim Van Horne and Dan Shulman has degenerat ed into the domain of late-night SportsCentre hosts who can't seem to go more than a minute without bungling a line or laughing at their own inane jokes. Hard as it may be to believe, given Sportsnet's numerous shortcomings, but it seems as if the annoying little brother now has a semi-legitimate claim to sports family supremacy. And bad as things are now for TSN, they're going to get worse. With the absence of the NHL, the completion of the World Junior Hockey Championship, and the end of the NFL regular season, the network now has very little marquee pro gramming to choose from. So while, come spring, Sportsnet will feature the NCAA men's basketball tournament, much of the NBA playoffs, and the large majority of Toronto Blue Jays games—Canadas only baseball team—TSN will be relegat

ed to airing a steady diet of fishing, bowling, pool, and poker. Yet man cannot live on Texas Hold'em alone, especially in primetime. Surprising as it may be—considering that Sportsnet all but hung out a neon "Open for hockey 24 hours" sign when it first hit the air—TSN actually misses the NHL more. While Sportsnet has started to show many excellent regular-season NBA tilts (including a number featuring Canadian favourite Steve Nash) in lieu of the NHL, TSN hasn't compensated with equivalent pro sports coverage. Furthermore, of the two, only TSN carried live playoff hockey, which is obviously not avail able this year. Compounding this is the exclusive curling deal the CBC signed last July that prevents TSN from showing any of the Brier, Scott Tournament of Hearts, or World Championships. Combined with the lack of an NHL post-season, this amounts to 300-plus hours of airtime for which TSN needs to scrounge for content. If we can judge future broadcast decisions by past ones, sports fans have reason to worry about how TSN will fill this programming void, as the network recently started airing Off the Record twice a day. To put it kindly, Michael Landsfcrg's pitiful attempt to channel Jim Rome and his fixation with oneonone interviews with pro wrestlers had OTR jumping the shark

from day one. Bill Maher's similar show—with guests far more interesting and noteworthy than Landsberg's—was cancelled, and Maher himself was actually entertaining. Yet, inexplicably, rather than canning Landsberg, TSN promos him nonstop. The network has been around for too long to let a lack of programming sink it—after all, it got off the ground while offer ing viewers heavy doses of Australian Rules football and darts. But it needs to do something to fill the NHL-less abyss befonthose at home begin tuning out. A good start would be with some original dramas—ESPN garnered critical acclaim and strong ratings with Playmakers and movies about Bobby Knight and Bear Bryant, and even the CBC recently created two pop ular hockeNoased series; TSN honchos could surely come up with something similar if they tried. TSN also needn't forget that there are other leagues out there: the National Lacrosse League's season is just getting started, and the Arena Football League's 2005 campaign is around the corner. Picking up more live sports would help fill countless hours, and deliver viewers in greater numbers than the 2004 Strongman Superseries. For TSN, shaking up its lineup is the equivalent to having that slice of pizza and those glasses of water before going to sleep—it will help ward off an extremely painful hangover, one that could otherwise last until the end of the NHL lockout. ■

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PROFILE - REDMEN R e d m e n T h o u g h s ta n d s

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THOMAS PAGLIARULO It's n.ot easy being Gregory Rembeyo. The forward/centre for the Redmen basketball team spends his nights banging against the big bodies of the opposition in pursuit of rebounds, and the price he often pays for his consistent double-doubles is a collection of bruises and swollen joints. But with all his success this year, it's surpris ing to see that he never suffers from a swollen head. The one thing that jumps out when speaking to the hard-nosed Rembeyo is how soft-spoken he is. Hailing from Gabon, France, by way of Kirkland, Rembeyo has shown himself to be an asset to every team for which he has played. At College Jean-de-Brebeuf, his alma mater, Rembeyo was named MVP for the 2001-02 season. His steadiness and reliability has continued on into his university career, and Rembeyo has shown himself to be as versatile as he is competitive. On a team with no listed centre, Rembeyo has stepped up to fill that hole in the lineup. Rembeyo characteristically downplays his role on the team. “My job is to grab the boards, play defence on the big guys," he explains. "I used to shoot a lot more than now. Now I have to post up. ! guess we're kind of under sized, so I have to play the 'big guy' on the team." That seems to be suiting Rembeyo just fine. What he doesn't have in size, he makes up for in athleticism, which allows him to play bigger than his listed height of 6'4". On Saturday in Lennoxville, he notched 22 points and nine rebounds, both game highs, in leading the Redmen to their first victory of the season, downing Bishop's 58-54. Rembeyo also scored 15 points and hauled down an astounding 23 rebounds on December 30 against the York Lions, a team that boasts one of the tallest lineups in the country, including a 6' 10” centre. All this from a young man who could potentially graduate from McGill with a degree in microbiology at the age of 19. "He was only 15 years old when he was in CÉGEP," says Head Coach Craig Norman. "He's a seri ous student and a gifted young man. We haven't even touched his potential. I think he's going to be an AllCanadian." Though this could be Rembeyo's last year on the court, he is not in a rush to end his athletic career. While entertaining ideas about going to medical school, Rembeyo is also contemplating picking up another major while he is still eligible to play basketball at McGill. *1 want to play ball for a couple more years," says the Redmen forward. Norman hopes so as well. “Greg has gotten himself into terrific shape for the first time in his career," he notes. "I think he has tremen dous potential. He's 19 years old, so hes still learning the game. He's probably one of the most gifted athletes in the

SAM COFFMAN

I f you happen to be in the gym on a Monday or Wednesday

evening, you might see some people wandering around dressed in white uniforms, indistinguishable except for their dif fering belt colours: yellow, green, orange, blue, and, for the espe cially deadly, red or black. Do yourself a favour: follow those people into the old cardio room. Look past the dangling weight bags and feast your eyes on an awesome display. Rows of fierce, focused fighters of all ages, sizes, and sexes lined up, shouting emphatically while they thrust their feet high into the air with amazing force. Welcome to the McGill Taekwondo club, a veritable onslaught of Korean ferocity and beautiful violence. The club is one branch in a tree of schools rooted in Ottawa's Tae Eun Lee Taekwondo School. Mr. Lee is a black belt of the ninth dan, or rank—an achievement so grand it's practically mythical, with the eighth being the most an ordinary mortal can achieve. Lee has won various international championships, trained South

BENJI FELDMAN Rembeyo cuts an imposing figure in the paint. conference. He's only going to get better and better. As far as he has already come, Rembeyo has enjoyed his time at McGill as an athlete. When asked about the high level of commitment that is necessary to be a varsity athlete, it's apparent that Rembeyo does not see it as a detriment to other aspects of his life. Rather, Rembeyo believes the discipline required to play a McGill sport will serve him well in the long run. "It will be good for my life," he says. Though it would be out of character for Rembeyo to say it himself, it is obvious that he is one of the keys to McGill's success on the hardwood. This year's team is young, but with bright prospects. The squad's younger players have the good example set by Rembeyo to fol low, and he will undoubtedly be a springboard for any future sucess the team might have. Even though many would shirk the responsibility of leading a young team, Rembeyo does what he does best. “I like a challenge," he says, embracing the dirty work once again. ■

2005-2006 Are you thinking about the next academ ic year yet? If you like people and you are interested in a challenging and rewarding student leadership position, why not apply to be a Floor Fellow, Don or MORE Fellow at McGill Residences? The deadline for submission of applications is January 24th , 2 0 0 5 before 4 p.m . Please check our website: www.mcgill.ca/residences on how to apply.

Smiles can be deceiving: these Taekwondo warriors are deadly. Korean troops, and, legend has it, blown candles out with his mind. In his Taekwondo organization he is revered. At the Taekwondo championships in Ottawa every summer, his photos, cult-like, line the walls of the University of Ottawa gym. In Mr. Lee's mould, McGill students toil in an effort to devel op strength, balance, and quickness—both within and without. Each session is so eclectic that if you did spy on a Taekwondo class, you might see the fighters pounding away on punching bags, delivering 180-degree turning hook kicks to their opponent's heads, or kneeling in pensive silence. At the end of the classes, these students practice sparring, sending carefully timed kicks at each other or flying through the air, Wayne's World 2 style, to col lide with the waiting punching bags. No one really gets hurt, mind you, save for the odd kick to the head that doesn't quite stop in time, or an inadvertent jab to the groin. Unlike closer range martial arts like Judo, Taekwondo is always a long-range fight, and in sparring matches you get a point only with a good kick, very rarely with a punch. Such involvement of the legs makes Taekwondo a fun but demanding discipline. Sparring matches are short—one or two minutes of non stop kicking is enough to leave most out-of-shape students wheez ing and gasping for air—and finesse is just as important as power. Landing the perfect kick on someone's torso is oh so satisfying, as is flawlessly completing one of the beautiful patterns you must learn in order to advance to the next belt level. While sparring caters to the aggression within every student, patterns reinforce the disci pline and artistry of the endeavour and, if done right, look more like a graceful dance than self defence. The McGill Taekwondo club is open for anyone who wants to join, no matter what level of athletic ability, so for the hardcore martial arts aficionado it might not fit the bill. But for anyone whos out for a good time and some solid exercise, you could do a lot worse than the exciting world of Taekwondo. ■ If you're interested in joining a Taekwondo class, sign up at the Currie Gym's Client Services Office for one of the two offered this semester. Registration continues through January 28.

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I feel like I've lost a friend. For the past four months I've been a part of a fantasy football league, and it changed my life. For anyone who's never been in a rôtisserie (or roto) league before, picture a combination of SportsCentre and WebCT, only with more cursing. In a fantasy league, each "owner" gets to draft players from the NFL, trade them, sign and waive them, and try to build the best team he can, with no regard for his friends. It's cutthroat and dirty, but oh so much fun. And now it's all over. Seriously, if I ever have a girlfriènd, this is what I imagine breaking up with her would feel like. I haven't felt so attached to a group of guys and a communal activity since my Jew camp days. I knew only a single person in the league heading into the season, but I felt like we'd all been friends since grade one. It was amaz ing. When I finally got to meet the crew in Toronto, it was like being reunited with brothers from whom I'd been sepa rated at birth. It was Maury Povich, NFL style. I've never followed the NFL so closely. I would watch whatever games were on television, religiously following the ticker on the bottom of the screen, hoping my players were putting up big numbers. Sometimes I would go to the library to study, only to find myself killing hours while scour ing the waiver wire for hidden gems and making horribly offensive comments to my good buddies. The agony of a loss and euphoria of victory in fanta sy football is like no other experience. When you lose, you bemoan benching—just 30 minutes before game time— that one player who ended up scoring two touchdowns. When you win, you feel like a Vince Lombardi or Bill Belichick, masterfully guiding your team to pigskin great ness. You pore over statistics, read the sports sections of local newspapers to try and get the slightest edge. You want to get that prized receiver off waivers before anyone else, and you must make the right roster choices or all your efforts go to waste. And of course, there's talking smack—making fun of your buddies for any number of reasons, real or imagined. The general topics of smack include questioning one anoth-

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Mo: I love fantasy football, but that affection surely isn't returned. I pour time and energy into my team, sacrificing that which should be important to me—namely, sleep and studying—all so that I can find a backup tight end on the waiver wire. I think I'm in a neglectful relaÆr tionship. Fantasy football doesn't reward the person who puts togeth----- er the best team. In our pool this year, McGridiron University, the eighth-seeded team beat the seven-seed to take the championship. Can you hon estly say that's a good reflection of who the best team in the pool was? Danny: Are you kidding? Eighth vs. seventh is ideal. It shows that our pool had more cpmpetitive balance than the NFL itself. My team started 1-5, but I clawed my way to eighth place, and then I was no different from the first-seeded team. Once you're in the playoffs, you're in, Mo. Surfing the waiver wire may have been the most enjoyable activity of my day! For example, when I picked up Larry Johnson, he was a third stringer, but he ended up becoming my Sunday Stud. Fantasy football does indeed reward the best team, and the best team is the one that can prepare for the worst. Cursing out someone's mother isn't so fun on WebCT. er's sexuality, debating genital size, the sexual activity of each other's mothers and other such topics not suitable to print. But now, it's all gone. As the NFL moves into the real playoff season, all fantasy leagues come to an end, and with them, my favourite method of procrastination. My Web browser's startup page is no longer my fantasy league's site. I have nobody to make inflammatory remarks to any more, since you can't really get away with insulting some one's mother on WebCT. Seriously, I want to cry. No more late-night posts on the message board. No more obsessing over roster moves while trying to fall asleep. No more bragging to my friends about my genius as a general manager. It's all over. I can finally get a decent night's sleep, but it hardly seems worth it; I'm a hollow shell of my former self. I get through the days, though, by consoling myself with, one enduring thought: there's only another eight months until I get to do it all over again. ■

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The Tribune's sports editors, MohitArora and Andrew Segal, as well as A&E editor Daniel Chodos, all took part in a fantasy football league this year, with Chodos eventually defeating Arora in the championship. Here, our two finalists debate the validity of the enigma we call fantasy football.

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Mo: You're exactly right, there's no difference between first and eighth place. So what's the point of the regular season then? Since the higher seeds have no advantage, the regular season becomes an arbitrary way to determine the playoff bracket, and that's it. And that makes the draft utterly useless. I selected Priest Holmes first overall, and he was the best player in the pool. He gets hurt just in time for the playoffs, and you ride to victory on Johnson's back? It shouldn't work that way. The best fantasy GM should be a wise owl, not a vulture. Danny: Hey, there's nothing wrong with vultures—life is all about scavenging. Holmes gets hurt more often than a leper—you should have thought of that before wasting your prized pick on him. Besides, the draft is not useless; it's a good base for a team, but a winning franchise will make smart trades and shrewd free agent acquisitions. For exam ple, I drafted Shaun Alexander in the first round, let his value soar, and then trad ed him at the deadline for Anquan Boldin, Isaac Bruce, and Rudi Johnson. Sometimes a strong draft will handcuff you: if you make good picks, it's hard to let them go when they're npt playing well. But if you drafted the guys that I did, then the free agent market can be your diamond in the rough. Mo: Just for the record, I tried to trade my first overall pick, but then the stupid draft simulator program started messing up on me just before I closed the deal. And speaking of smart trades, how about my acquiring Jamal Lewis and LaDainian Tomlinson, in addition to drafting Holmes and Curtis Martin? I may have assembled the best stable of running backs in fantasy football history, and was still as strong as anyone else at the other positions. And what do I have to show for my brilliance? Lewis' ankle injury, Holmes' knee injury, and second place to a guy who only got into the playoffs on the last week of the regular sea son because I was too banged up to beat up on you. You can call it what you want, but from my vantage point, you just got lucky. Danny: Lucky!?! Give me a break! So you had a bunch of play ers whose salaries were higher than Sudan's GDP. it doesn't mean anything unless they can compete when it counts. Lewis ran for 26 yards in the final; your QB, Tom Brady, may be the most overrated player in fantasy sports, and he showed why. Face it: you put all your ducks in a row, and they got shot down one by one. My team may not appear on a Wheaties box, but those boys came to play. When you're done whining, I'll give you a few pointers on how to build a fantasy team. Mo: Okay Champ, you win. The cheque's in the mail. But I still main tain that this whole fantasy football thing is a scam. After four years, two silver medals and two bronze, I'm starting to think I'm always going to be the bridesmaid. Do you really think I'm going to put myself through this again next year? Yeah, of course I will. ■

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Third place the charm for McGill volleyball squads

McGill's men's and women's volleyball teams were in fine form this weekend, as each took part in tournaments this past weekend. The Redmen traveled to Quebec City to take part in the Coupe L'est, while the Martlets headed up to the nation's capital to play in the Ottawa Quality Hotel Invitational. Both teams were in fine form, as they each earned a third-place finish for their efforts. The Redmen cruised through the round robin portion of the Coupe L'est, racking up wins against College Montmorency (3-1), Georgian College (3-0), Algonquin College (3-0), and King's College (3-1) before running into Seneca College in the semi-final. Seneca proved too much to overcome, downing the Redmen in three sets to advance to the final. McGill was forced to settle for playing in the third-place game against Royal Military College. But in that bronze medal game, the Redmen continued their strong play, taking the match in four sets (23-25, 25-16, 25-19, 25-22). McGill's play was boosted by the return of fourthyear star Andrew Royes, who had missed significant time with an ankle injury. Royes went on to lead McGill in kills in four of its six games in the tournament, finishing with 16 against RMC to help the Red 'n' White capture the bronze medal. The Martlets notched a 2-1 record in the round robin, claiming shutouts over McMaster and Queen's and dropping a hard fought five-set decision to host Ottawa. In the semi-final, McGill was pitted against QSSF rival Sherbrooke, and fell to the Vert & Or in three sets. Relegated to the third-place game, McGill found itself squaring off against Ottawa once again. This time the Martlets got the better of the hosts, winning in four sets (25-21, 15-25, 25-23, 25-22) to take the bronze medal. Thirdyear player Emilie Doran registered 15 kills for the McGill women in the match, a performance that helped her receive McGill's lone tournament all-star selection.

BOX SCORE

MARTLET HOCKEY-Niagara @ McGill, Sun. Jan. 16, 1pm, McConnell Arena This non-conference match between the Martlets and their tough upstate New York guests has the potential to be a barn burner if McGill wants to rebound from their poor showing at the Theresa Humes Tournament this weekend

McGill Martlets 1, Plattsburgh State Cardinals 0 Sunday, January 9, 2005 7th-place game of the Theresa Humes Tournament @ Concordia's Ed Meagher Arena

REDMEN & MARTLET VOLLEYBALL-Laval @ McGill, Sun. Jan. 16, 1pm & 3pm, Love Competition Hall Both McGill teams hope to build on the momentum of their bronze medals from this past weekend's tournaments, and face a tough test in the Rouge et Or, who sit in second place in both the men's and women's standings.

SCORING SUMMARY First Period: 1. McGill - S. Denis fC. Hartnoll), 6:07 PENALTIES: Plattsburgh - K. Moore (cross-check), 6:53 McGill -V. Lapierre (hook), 19:43

NBA—Heat @ Suns, Tues. Jan. 1 1 ,9pm on The Score East-leading Miami heads to the desert to take on Phoenix, who sport the top record in the NBA. See Shaquille O'Neal and Amare Stoudemire battle in the paint, with Dwyane Wade and Steve Nash helping out as well.

Second Period: (no scoring) PENALTIES: McGill - V. Sanfacon (highstick), 5:1 8 McGill -J. Carlton (cross-check), 12:25

PLAYMAKERS—Saturdays at 10pm on Showcase The popular and controversial ESPN series was cancelled after just one season because the NFL—which counts drug abusers and drunk drivers among its stars—felt the depiction of tne players' sor did off-field lives did not reflect positively on the league. Decide for yourself as Showcase presents the entire run to a Canadian audi ence for the first time.

Redmen wrestle Gaiters for first win

The men's basketball team went into Lennoxville Saturday night hoping to come away with its first win of the season, and was able to do just that after edging out Bishop's in a 58-54 nail biter. Forward Greg Rembeyo led the way for McGill, lead ing all scorers with 22 points, as well as grabbing a gamehigh nine rebounds—all this while playing against Bishop's All-Canadian Jeff Szita. The Gaiters forward was held to just 10 points in the game. Also figuring prominently in the game was guard Denburk Reid, whose 18 points brought him to within 88 of McGill's all-time scoring record, currently held by Wille Henz, who amassed 2,126 points from 1980-1987.

Third Period: (no scoring) PENALTIES: McGill - C. Hartnoll (hook), 6:35 SHOTS BY PERIOD 1 2 3 Total McGill: 4 4 5 13 Plattsburgh: 1 1 7 3 21 POWER PLAY (Goals/Chances) McGill: 0/1 Plattsburgh: 0 /4

Free throws sink Martlets against Bishop's

The women's basketball team hung in against a tough Bishop's squad, but fell short against the host Gaiters in drop ping a 65-56 decision on Saturday. Marie-Eve Beaulieu-Demers led the Martlets with 22 points, while centre Julianne Zussman added 14 and Alisen Salusbury 10 in a losing effort. McGill kept itself in the game by out-rebounding Bishop's, posting a 29-24 edge in that department. But the Red 'n' White were undone by their inability to get to the free throw line. McGill shot just 7 for. 13 from the line, whereas Bishop's owned the charity stripe, nailing 20 of 24 free throws and pulling away from McGill.

GOALTENDERS: McGill: C. Herron (W, 60:00, 0GA, 21 saves, SHO) Plattsburgh : C. Roy |L, 60:00, IGA, 12 saves)

WOR L D J U N I O R CHAMPI ONSHI P

HOCKEY T R I VI A

BENJI FELDMAN

Q: You played most of this season with a foot so injured that you walked with a cane most of the week leading up to the game. How were you able to get yourself fit enough to actually play? A: I was getting injections in my foot to freeze it before the game, so the pain wasn't as acute as it could have been, And it was mainly just a pain issue. The damage had already been done to my ankle tendon, so it was just the pain that would slow me down.

to live up to the role and fulfill those expectations,

Q: Someone could watch Varsity Blues and think the players have a gun held to their head and are forced to play hurt. Is there really any pressure to play? A: I took a couple games off, but they weren't the big games. 1 made myself available for the games that I needed to be . there for, for myself and the team. The coaches obviously encouraged me to do whatev er I could to be there, but t Q: What was your motivation made it known that I wanted to to play through the injury? play A: It was kind of an emotional season for me, to make the Q: How's the foot now? most of my last season of foot- A: It's getting better. The doctor ball, probably ever. Finally said I needed at least 10 making it to a starting position, weeks rest, but I'm not limping which I've worked towards for anymore. It's getting better, so long, 1did whatever I could slowly but surely. ■

Correction

Dave Richardson ♦ U3 Psychology ♦ Thornhill, Ontario ♦ Football

y j? *> T ■; While we're sure you can identify who scored every goal f I and took every penalty in this year's recently completd tour- I fj nament, how much do you know about past WorldJuniors? 1 The World Junior tournament started in 1974, and fea! tured teams from Canada, the US, the Soviet Union, 1 f Finland, Sweden, and which other country? j 2. Prior to this year, when did the Canadians last win the j; / gold medal?

H O R N

B-BALL (W) Playoff format: Men's hockey—top two teams in each idivision and next two best teams . Women's hockey—top three teams iMen's and women's basketball—top four teams

T H E

In a caption in last week's issue, we stated that the sub ject of a photo was Denburk Reid of the Redmen basketball team. In fact, the player featured was Gregory Rembeyo. The Tribune regrets the error.

INTRAMURAL CORNER The ball has dropped on the New Year, and is now ready to be kicked, passed, and shot. The signup period for win ter intramural sports runs through Thursday, January 13 at the Currie Gym, room G20C, until 5pm.

Division M: A-B 3. Which Swede, who competed in 1992 and 1993, is F: A-B the tournament's all-time scoring leader, with 42 points in just j M: A-B-C Basketball 14 games? F: A-B Inner tube w. polo CR: A-B 4. Which former member of the Edmonton Oilers is the | M: A-B Indoor Soccer American leader in points scored in a single tournament, F: A-B notching 19 in seven games in the 1991 competition? CR: A-B M: A-B 5. What was the first Canadian city to host the event, in Volleyball F: A-B 1978, and which team emerged victorious in that year's CR: A-B tournament? u o i u p 1 3IA O Ç . ' p o j i u o y y B je q s jo j j e je j

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Cost # Playi 8 $100 8

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For those looking to join a team, there will be a free agents meeting at Tomlinson Hall on Tuesday, January 11 at 5:30pm.

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S S M L J M in i- C o u r s e s : F u n , i n e x p e n s i v e , n o n - c r e d i t c o u r s e s h e l d in t h e S h a t n e r a n d B r o w n B u ild in g s . C h e c k t h e w e b s i t e a t w w w .s s m u .m c g lll.c a / m in i o r c o n t a c t u s a t 3 9 B - 3 B B 1 e x t 0 9 & 4 4 , o r b g e - m a il a t m in i& s s m u .m c g ill.c a f o r t h e f in a liz e d p r ic e s , d a t e s a n d t im e o f c o u r s e s .

W in e t a s t i n g

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Learn all you need to know about the wonderful world of wines! Our experienced instructor, sommelier at one of Montreal’s finest restaurants, will teach you the difference between all the major kinds of wine. Become an expert and get to taste them all in one afternoon! Cost: $55.1 day course. Beginners Saturday January 29th, 123pm. Intermediate Saturday February 13th, 12-3pm

Pilâtes is a wonderful exercise system focused on improving flexibility and strength for the entire body without building bulk. Watch your body become toned throughout the semester as you team a series of controlled movements engaging your body and mind. Registration is limited; register early. (7 weeks long) Cost: $50. Times: Mondays 7-8 pm

If you want to take the LSAT but don’t want to invest $1000 to prepare, consider our LSAT mini-course. For just $100 you get a ten week session course aimed at providing you with the best possible instruction, practice, and strategies in preparing for the LSAT. Benefit from a small class size and actual past LSAT exams for practice! Taught by a former Kaplan instructor. Cost: $100. Time: TBA

M o d e r n B a ll r o o m D a n c in g

This course is an introduction to the wild styles of breakdance. As we learn the foundations of toprocking, footwork, and freezes, we will explore the essential elements of style rhythm and movement invention. Bring your knee pads! (Although the class is for beginners, some moves may be physically challenging.) Cost: $45. Times: Mon 4:30-6pm

B r e a k d a n c in g

Have you always wanted to dance like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, but never had the time to take lessons? Now is your chance! Learn the waltz, foxtrot and more. Leather soled shoes are recommended. Cost: $45. Times: Wednesdays 4:30-6pm Tango

Tango is this one dance where making mistakes is alright. If you make a false step and get tangled up, it's ok... you just tango on! Come, join us, and discover this wonderful dance. Times: Thursdays 8 to 9:30 pm S a ls a

Everybody likes to say 'Salsa!" Just like the music, the dance is also a wild mix of everything -- emotions, tempos, spins, dips, drops, syncopations, a little Mambo here, a little Cha Cha there, perhaps a pinch of Argentine. This year we offer you our very talented and patient instructor, Billy. Cost: $45. Times: Beginners: Mon 6-7 pm or Wednesdays 7:30-8:30pm. Intermediate: Wed 8:30 to 9:30pm in t r o t o b a r t e n d in g

Think your drinks could use a bit more creativity? Think Absolute Bartending! Offered in collaboration with this renowned institute, you'll be the best host Abtoiut* Bartending around with this new found skill! During _____ institut* E ssr this amazing-value class you will familiarize yourself with shaking, equipment set up, fruits and garnishes, glassware and of course preparation (and tasting!) of various classic cocktails and drinks. With the option of continuing next semester for certification with a discount, you can't lose with this mini-course! Visit our website for more, or check out theirs at www.absolutebartending.com Cost: $60. Sections: 1) Jan 21, 28. 2)Feb 11, 18. 3)Mar 4, 11. 4)Mar18, 25. 5)Apr 1, 8. Times: 6-9pm. F re n ch

Want to travel to France but cannot speak the language? Get a grip on all the French you need to get around in any Francophone city around the world. The beginner's class is a complete introduction to the course, while intermediate is for students who still remember their high school French. Break out that Bescherelle! Cost: $45. Beginners: Mon 4:30-6pm or Mon 6-7:30pm or Wed 7:15-8:45 pm , 1 class TBA. Intermediate: LEVEL1: Tues 4;30-6pm. LEVEL2: Tues 6-7:30pm S p a n is h

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Taught by our wonderful breakdancing instructor, the groove class is a dance class mixing techniques of jacking, house, jazz, latin and tap. Using soulful house rhythms as a sound-scape, the class carries a feeling of Fred Astaire, focusing on fast feet work and lots of grooving. Get ready to slide, bop and bounce! Cost $45. Times: Thurs 4:30-5:30pm Yoga

Kripalu Yoga calms the body and quiets the mind, creating inner stillness. This hatha yoga practice tones and strengthens muscles, increases flexibility, oxygenates the blood, improves the immune response and integrates mind and body. You will leave energized yet relaxed, ready to face whatever else is going on in your life. Cost: $45. Times: Thurs 5:30-6:30pm G u it a r ( B e g in n e r , In t e r m e d ia t e J

Have you always wanted to master this instrument but never got the chance? Even got a guitar, but private lessons were so expensive that you decided to forget about it? Our extremely popular Guitar class is the solution! Get your roommate's guitar and leam guitar at a fraction of the price of private lessons! Cost: $45. Beginner: Monday 7:30-9pm or Wed 5:45-7:15pm Intermediate: Mon 6-7:30pm S p e e d r e a d in g

Run by the Harris Institute, this extremely popular speed reading course is once again being offered at McGill. This 1-day class always gets rave reviews and regularly has students improving 50-150% in reading speed, while also helping them, improve comprehension and retention. Cost: $50. Date: 1 day course : Feb:5 or 6 or 19 or 20, 9:30am - 4:30pm

C o o k in g

Sick of eating canned food and micro-wave dinners? Here is your chance to leam quick and delicious recipes for students on-the-go. You will learn everything from tasty soups and stir-fry to sushi-making and cakes that will impress not only your tummy but also your secret crush! And hey who knows, you might become the next Chef Tony! Offered in our very own midnight kitchen. Cost: $55. Times: Monday 5:30-7:30 M a n d a r in

Have you ever wondered how over one billion people can communicate via pictures instead of letters? Take this beginners class and learn all about the Chinese language and culture! Register early, the number of seats are limited. You don't need any prior knowledge of this language to register. Cost: $45. Times: Wednesdays 4-5:30pm A r a b ic

Don't miss out on learning this beautifully scripted language! Our beginners class, taught by our very experienced instructor, will teach you the basics of spoken and written Arabic TEHKI ARABI? Then our level 2 beginners and our intermediate dass are for you!!! Level 2 beginners is dedicated to people who have some spoken knowledge of Arabic but have no knowledge of writing (or who have taken a beginners dass in the past). On the other hand, the intermediate dass is for people who can speak and have some basic writing skills. If you have spoken Arabic your whole life and yet still don't know how to read or write, this is your chance! The int. course is dedicated to Arabic-speaking students. Because who knows, you just might get a too-good-tobe-true job in the Middle-East, where knowledge of the language is essential...Don't miss out, register early; spaces are limited. Cost: $45. Beginners: LEVEL 1: Mon 4:30-6pm. LEVEL 2: Tues 4:30-6pm. Intermediate: Tues 6-7:30pm.

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Need to brush up the Spanish skills for Christmas break? We've hired two extremely experienced teachers with first hand teaching experience in Mexico and Spain who will make sure you fall in love with the Spanish Language and Culture! Cost: $45. Beginners: Tues 7:30-9pm or Wed 7-8:30pm. Intermediate: Wed. 5:30-7pm

Think your loved ones love you? They'll love you more when you finish this class; this is one skill you just have to master! Our experienced massage instructor will teach you a variety of mas sages on professional massage beds, focusing on using pressure to release blocked energy white reducing pain. Partners recom mended. (8 weeks long). Cost: $60. Times: TBA

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Have you always wanted to leam to shake your hips like Shakira? Do you wish you had her hard-as-rock abs? Well this class will give you both! Our new, very talented Instructor will teach you this beautiful, endearing Middle Eastern art-form often known as "Hip-dancing". Cost: $45. Times: Thurs. 6:30-8pm

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Everybody loves Kung-Fu Fighting! That's right, here's your chance to kick like Jackie Chan! Kung-Fu can benefit everyone, young and old, male and female, as it uses breathing and meditation techniques derived from the Taoist System to keep the body resilient, the mind active and in harmony. Cost: $45. Times: Wednesdays 6-7:30pm

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Walking home alone at night? Make sure you have the tools to protect yourself in any potentially dangerous situation. This course will teach you to heighten your awareness and accurately read your intuition in order to avoid violence, aggression and confrontation. Derived from a mix of judo and kioshinkai, this course will also teach you the 'Fight and Flight' technique as well as many others. Cost: $45. Times: TBA

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