The McGill Tribune Vol. 24 Issue 17 by The Tribune

NEWS: Anti-depressants number one reason to use ASEQ?

Curiosity delivers. Vol. 24 Issue 17

OPINION: Campus bar hopelessly battles against big city.

SPORTS: Find out what makes engineers sweep so soundly.

Tuesday, January 18. 2005

P U B L I S H E D BY T H E S T U D E N T S ' S O C I E T Y OF M C G I L L U N I V E R S I T Y

Y a lla A SA

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GENEVIEVE JENKINS Thursday night, when Arab and Jewish students held hands and danced in circles to "extempo jam" music of both cultures, vio lence between the two groups seemed unthinkable. As the crowd mingled, different sides of the spectrum became indistinguish able, and the room was beaming a collec tive smile. Bright-eyed young men and women gathered for a purpose—to support the creation of a literary dialogue between the two cultures in Yalla: Reflections on the Middle East. The Yalla launch party kicked off with speeches, songs, and readings from sever al Jews and Arabs. In their first-ever collab oration, Hillel McGill and the Arab Students' Association sponsored the event. The night was pointedly non-political, and focused on the fact that Yalla is the first liter ary journal in North America to foster com munication between Arabs and Jews. The journal has six editors, three Arab and three Jewish, assignations which had nothing to do with religious faith. Yalla is the voice of a younger genera tion. Whereas the older segment of Jewish and Arab societies seems hesitant to encour age acceptance of other viewpoints, the writers featured in Yalla—aged 18 to 3 0 -

p ro c e s s o n

jo u r n a l

are trying to start a real conversation. Dalia Rotstein, one of the Jewish edi tors and the founder of the project, voiced her dismay at the lack of support from older Jews and Arabs in Montreal and Canada. "The older communities, who unfortu nately hold the purse strings, are close-mind ed and very entrenched in their ideology," said Rotstein. She said the editors feel that this close mindedness is the reason they have been left grasping for the stray dollar to make Yalla work. The hope that younger Arabs and Jews have for peace was made clear in the words of a song performed at the Yalla opening: "We are not afraid to see the other side." In Yalla, the two sides mirror one another and face off across a gap of pain and misunderstanding, all the while try ing to close that chasm with written words. David Allouba, an Arab Yalla editor, spoke of the significance of a literary jour nal as opposed to traditional conversation groups. "It's time that we strip away the veneer of justification that has covered over the problems," he said. "We have created a new potential form of communication between Arabs and Jews that will hopefully See JOURNAL, page 2

in sid e

featurE15 I want my mommy, er... monkey! This week, Features jumps head first into those lonesome homesick feelings that we all experience from time to time. We take a look at the logic behind that longing pang and some fun ways to forget about your worries by acting like a kid.

Expand your culinary horizons. Put down those student guidebooks, and rely on the Tribune's survey of the best feasting options around town. Move over, New York, because Montreal has some of the finest gourmet establishments this side of the Atlantic. Ha. See page 16.

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STUDENT

U n ite d

NEWS

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s tu d e n t d a ta b a s e C A M PU S

NEWS

M c G i l l w ill n o t d i v u l g e

B .A .& S c . d e g r e e S c h e d u lin g

n e e d s

MIKELIS STEPRANS

w o rk

The American government is attempting to create a university and college student tracking system that is raising questions about whether per sonal information will be sought from foreign schools that have a substantial American student body, such as McGill. The proposed database would collect the social security num bers of students, their tuition rates, and the amount of financial assistance each student receives. The use of this information has yet to be disclosed. At a Senate meeting last Wednesday, Professor Sam Noumoff DAVEBRODKEY questioned if the McGill administra No Big Brother at McGill. tion was providing the United States' Department of Education with this "It is not inconceivable that the information. government could use this information Associate Provost Anthony Masi to identify every person who has stud assured Senate that McGill has not ied microbiology and then cross refer been approached. He also said that ence this to immigration records, in McGill's policy is to never give out the hopes of identifying possible terror personal information of students with ists," said the American Civil Liberties out their consent. Union co-president at Johns Hopkins

c o n flic ts fr u str a te s t u d e n t s

NATALIE EARL Only five months into its exis tence, the Bachelor of Arts and Science degree is already running into difficulties. Students are finding that there are problems with the merg ing of the two faculties, as scheduling conflicts between the different sub jects are common, sometimes occur ring with required classes. "I had conflict between a physics class and an economics class," said Abby Samp, U1 Arts and Science. "The physics class isn't a prerequisite for anything though, so I will be able to take it later." The new degree allows partici pants to have a more diverse curricu lum with various minor and major pro grams available in both Arts and Science disciplines. The program came into effect in September and currently has an enrolment of 65, but that is expected to increase in coming years. "As enrolment expands, we will then be alerted to the problems of sig nificant numbers of students," said Morton Mendelson, associate dean (academic). BASC 201 "Arts & Science Integrative Topics," the only course that is required of every B.A.&Sc. stu dent, has only 47 students this semes ter, but as it is not a prerequisite for any other course, students may take the class at a later point in their degree. "It is impossible for the university to ensure that every program is com patible with every other program and that every minor is compatible with every major," Mendelson said. In fact, he said that the Arts and Science program may provide more flexibility than other programs.

"It is not inconceivable that the government could use this information to identify every person who has studied microbiology and then cross refer ence this to immigration records, in hopes of identifying possible terrorists." —American Civil Liberties Union Co-President Blake Trettien

JULIASCHONFIELD When faculties collide: scheduling problems hinder new program.

"The major concentration is only 36 credits, so there is quite a bit of flexibility, and it is not like, for exam ple, a Science degree with 72 or 64 credits that needed to be taken in sequence." Other students are concerned about the content of the majors and believe that the requirements should be different. "For the biomedical science con centration most of the courses are 200 level. They should give you the option of taking the higher-level cours

es," said Maria Broker, U1 Arts and Science. Students have not yet been con sulted for their feedback on the pro gram, but BASC 201 students have been invited to participate in a focus group. The focus group will be held on February 1 in Dawson Hall from 5:30 to 7pm to get feedback on administrative issues. "Students have been involved in the planning of this [degree] all along," Mendelson said, "and we hope to continue to involve them." ■

Noumoff was made aware of the proposed tracking system by an online article, which reported that the new fracking system was created to help the American government achieve higher performance stan dards at colleges and universities. The article did not specify how a data base would have that effect. The arti cle, written by Catherine Komp for the New Standard, includes several criti cisms of the proposed tracking system. For example, some argue that the government's motives should be ques tioned and that students' rights are being infringed upon.

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University, Blake Trettien, in the article. Professor Noumoff said that the database would constitute a threat to student privacy. "With the large number of American students at McGill," he said, "I a) wanted to alert them of the issue and b) have the record clear from the point of view of the adminis tration." ■ What's Professor Noumoff read ing online? Google Catherine Komp’s New Standard article on the US stu dent database: "Some Students Worried Over Proposed Tracking System."

BRIEF

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A r a b -J e w is h

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Continued from cover encourage acceptance of the sincerity of both positions and the validity of dif ferent viewpoints." 2r "Yalla" means "Let's get going" in both Arab and Jewish lands. "If no one thinks peace is possi u s o u t h e M i d d l e S a s ble, it isn't," said Feriel Feghoul, a U3 Management student who attended effort by young Arabs ami jews, Yalla » a compilation o f short stories the launch. “Yalla is encouraging a agrapliy, m d «says. This national project is not politically affiliated, rational means for peaceful action." yes were invited to get at the human issues behind the headlines. The timing of the journal launch unintentionally coincided with the recent election of Mahmoud Abbas as Palestinian president. According to the New York Times, Abbas and Israeli leader Ariel Sharon conversed shortly after the election results were released, marking the "highest-level contact tant groups. Sharon made the in a different sort of peace between between Israelis and Palestinians in announcement in response to a Gaza the Jews and Arabs of Canada. several years." Late last week, howev Strip skirmish that left five Israelis "Peace is not about treaties er, Sharon severed ties with Palestinian dead. between nations," he said. "It's about leaders, saying he will not resume con As far as Arab editor Waleed peace between people and real com tact until Abbas cracks down on mili Jarjouhi is concerned, Yalla is ushering munication." ■

Music faculty mourns one of its own Christopher Driscoll, a U3 Jazz Performance student from Charlottetown, PEI was killed on January 9 in a skiing accident at Jay Peak, Vermont. Lauren Simmons, vice-president (internal) of the Music Undergraduate Students' Association said that he had been skiing down an advanced trail when he slid off and hit a tree. He had been wearing a helmet. "We are proud of all that he accomplished in his too short life," said a statement released by Dean of Music Don McLean. On Wednesday, a bus left McGill with 29 of Driscoll's friends and acquaintances who were to attend his Saturday funeral in Charlottetown, and faculty representa tives followed on Friday. The faculty, together with McGill Chaplaincy Services, will be holding a memorial service for Driscoll on Friday, and the university flag will be flown at half-mast that day. Simmons said that while MUSA's role in the service is still unclear, exec utives are meeting with the office of the Dean to ensure that "student voic es are definitely part of the memorial

service." "It's just crazy," said Simmons, who met Driscoll at their Discover McGill tour in 2001. "Our faculty is so small that I don't think anyone was n't affected by him or his music. Chris was amazingly genuine, and he always had a smile for you when you met him in the halls." Driscoll was a jazz drummer and a member of the jazz group Mobile Pried, whose most recent hon our was being featured in the North Sea Jazz Festival in the Netherlands. Simmons said that Driscoll's par ents have chosen charitable organiza tions to which donations can be made in his name. "In the far future, after everyone has had time for reflection, I think it's a good thing they can do." —Laura Saba The memorial service will be held on Friday, January 21, at 3pm in Redpath Hall. The Office of the Dean of Students is providing group coun selling as well as accepting condo lence letters, which they will forward to Driscoll's family. For more informa tion, contact MUSA at 398-4551.

th e mcgill tribune j 18.1.05 j new s

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ANALYSIS

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"But grandfather, how will I learn all about SSMU "Patience, grasshopper. Join the Trib News team and knowledge will come."

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Wednesday 26 January, 2005 at ! 7h30 Faculty of law. New Chancellor Day Hall Maxwell Cohen Moot Court, Room 100 (Enter via Old Chancellor Day Hall, 3644 Peel) A ll are welcom e. Adm ission is free

For students, the SSM U health care plan is primarily a source of anti-depressants.

organization that brings students Gerts, par ties, and beer. Often unnoticed, however, is another service SSMU provides—a health and dental plan. Administered by l'Alliance pour la santé étu diante au Québec and distributed by Sun Life Financial, the group plan provides health care cov erage to undergraduate students. ASEQ, established in 1996 by McGill alum nus Lev Bukhman, covers more than 35 student groups comprised of around 330,000 members. Through working with students and student associ ations, ASEQ aims to develop plans at competitive rates that suit the needs of post-secondary students across Canada. "The goal is keeping the plan relevant to stu dents," said Bukhman, "to stay useful and flexible." The number of students in tandem with its partnerships with health care providers enables ASEQ to negotiate competitive rates with insur ance companies. An annual fee of $144.60 affords a variety of services, ranging from prescrip tion medicine, medical equipment, and travel insurance to vision, dental, and chiropractic care. In comparison, for a typical private plan, the annual premium for a young adult is approximate ly $800, according to the ASEQ Web site. Similar plans exist for graduate students as well as those on Macdonald campus, through their respective student societies. International students pay for and are covered by the dental plan, but their health coverage is administered by the univer sity and supplied by Blue Cross. Only students who prove they have alterna tive coverage—besides provincial Medicarecan opt out of this program. Since the program's inception, opt-out rates have modestly increased, from approximately 17 per cent of students to 23 per cent in 2004, according to Bukhman. Some students have coverage they do not need. In a recent survey conducted by SSMU, 51 per cent of respondents said they were covered by another private health and dental plan, but only 34 per cent of those surveyed had opted out of the plan. A proposal that would allow opting out with out proof of additional coverage is being studied, but if implemented, would result in an increase in fees across the board due to the expected rise in opt-outs. Some students may choose to take back their $144.60, which will leave a gap in crucial health care. "Usage has gone up," said Anthony Di Carlo, SSMU vice-president (operations) "A lot of students are very aware and claims are being made." The insurance plan, however, is becoming a

victim of its own success. While the fees for the program have been frozen since 1996, the increase in its use has resulted in a decrease in coverage. Bukhman said it is difficult to minimize the effects of external factors. "What we've been battling is increasing costs and consumption, due to the higher costs [of the type of services used] and the [increased demand for] services that are needed," he said. "Over the years, the level of coverage has been greater than what was anticipated, so the level of coverage is back to its original levels." Although this may be the case, it is a discour aging trend. Instead of treating patients, the eco nomics of the health plan has created a system of pill pushing. Information on the use of the insur ance plan, compiled by Bukhman, shows that pre scription drug claims—most notably anti-depres sants—are the most used service. "The plan is an evolving dynamic," he said. "The needs of students change and the pattern of drug use is more complicated. It shows the stress and strain on students." But students are equally to blame. Taking pre scription drugs is easier than finding the root cause of the problem and has become a substitute for costlier hands-on services, Bukhman added. ASEQ annually negotiates with its insurance carrier and markets to other insurance companies every,.few years in search of new options. The cur rent contract is in place until 2006, but Di Carlo, whose term ends before the contract expires, declined to speculate on future plans. The 2004 ASEQ survey showed that 66 per cent of respondents would like the same level of coverage for the same cost, while only nine per cent wanted a decrease in coverage and cost. Unsurprisingly, 92 per cent of respondents want the SSMU to preserve its health and dental plan. These numbers suggest that while the ASEQ/SSMU plan faces challenges, students are overwhelmingly in favour of the current situation and look forward to receiving TLC from their stu dent union. Bukhman emphasized the importance of mak ing informed decisions. "Students should think of what they need, even if they have additional coverage," he said. "They should learn about it, read the information... We have a call centre they can call and hopeful ly they can make good decisions." ■ For more information on the plan, visit www.aseq.com or call 789-8775. In addition, stu dents can complete the ASEQ/SSMU survey at www.aseq.com/ssmu.

This lecture has received support fromthe Beatty Memorial Lectures Committee P ostg rad u ate

T he Students' Society is usually considered the

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ANDREW BAUER In some cases, transparency can do more harm than good. McGill professors have expressed reservations about publicly disclosing university professors' salaries, citing potential intra-faculty acrimony and administrative disrup tions as reasons for keeping salaries a secret. While Ontario passed legislation in 1996 requiring all publicly-funded institutions to disclose salaries over $ 100,000, currently the Quebec gov ernment only requires disclosure of academic administrators' salaries in accordance with Bill 95. McGill is under no obligation to publicly dis close any other salaries, nor are there plans to do so in the near future. "The McGill position on public disclosure has been to work in con formity with the Quebec law," said Vice-Principal Administration and Finance Morty Yalovsky. McGill professors have been unwilling to disclose their own salaries despite many faculty members' criti cism of the administration's closed decision-making processes. "[McGill has] a tradition where privacy is assumed for one's income," said Sam Noumoff, professor of politi cal science, adding that only rf the pol icy were implemented throughout the

school would he disclose his own salary. "[Public disclosure] would obvi ously lead to a tremendous amount of requests for anomaly salary adjust ments. There would be a transitional period of interpersonal animosity/' Economics professor Jagdish Handa emphasized the disadvan tages of introducing a salary trans parency policy, arguing that it would lead to demands for increased salaries, faculty dissatisfaction, and a potential decrease in faculty productiv ity arising from a decline in morale. He deemed it a question of productiv ity and efficiency. "While in principle the concept that there should be some accountabil ity is good, [public disclosure] is flawed," he said. "Accountability should be left to the university as a whole." Handa further highlighted that McGill does indeed have internal accountability as chairs, deans, and vice-principals are familiar with all salaries under their administration. In 2004, the Ontario Ministry of Finance revealed that approximately 4,000 university faculty and adminis trators earned salaries above $100,000 in 2003, many manage ment and business professors earning well over $ 200,000 plus bonuses. For example, University of Toronto finance professor Thomas McCurdy's salary in 2003 was $279,112.

e a r n in g s

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They know our tuition, but w e don't

However, the Public Sector Salary Disclosure Act's effectiveness in controlling salaries and making gov ernment funded institutions account able is unknown. An Ontario Ministry of Finance spokesperson said that there is no way to know what the results of the legislation are. "We just comply with it now," he said. Noumoff stressed that many pro

a t M c G ill

"Disclosing salaries leads to com parisons which may be based on gross misunderstanding of how salaries evolve over time," said Handa. Originally introduced in 1995, the Public Sector Salary Disclosure Act was meant to make the public sector more open and accountable to the tax payers. Emerging out of a recommen dation from the information and priva cy commissioner, it aimed to protect the taxpayers' right to compare an organization's performance and priori ties with the way it compensates its staff. "This bill is a sunshine law that will permit the taxpayers of Ontario to obtain information that has previously been shrouded in unnecessary secre cy," then-Deputy Premier and Minister of Finance Ernie Eves said in the EPS.BERKELEY.COM Ontario legislature in 1995. Handa denied taxpayers' right to know their salaries? know how public funds are being spent. fessors earn well above their university "I think taxpayers have the right to salaries each year from private con know that universities are efficiently tracts and that it might be unfair to managed," he said. "How to allocate force a salary comparison that may funds within the university should be not truly reflect actual earnings. left [to the university]." "If [salary disclosure] is to be insti Will public disclosure of profes tuted, it should be universal," he said. sors' salaries garner support within Handa said that past bonuses, past McGill faculties? Noumoff does not productivity, and current market conditions think so. determine current salaries and that a simple "Maybe by the year 3000," he comparison would be unfair. said. ■

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XIANG GU Starting in September, first-year students in the Faculty of Arts will be able to opt for a less traditional intro duction to university. A new 24 credit interdisciplinary program, "Making Modernités," aims to allow UO stu dents to acquire knowledge from a global perspective before pursuing more specialized studies. "This is a new and quite innova tive approach to education, and it is absolutely unique at McGill in this form," said Associate Dean of Arts John Galaty. Students following this curriculum will take four consecutive six-credit courses for half a semester each. Faculty members are to collaborate and offer their expertise in large lec tures that will be complemented by weekly seminars and tutorials. The lec ture supplements are designed to give students the opportunity to study in smaller groups and to become more involved in their own learning. One of the main benefits of this integrative program is that "the stu dent body will develop itself as a learning community," said Galaty. "Students [in this option] will be fol lowing a common mission, a common goal." Although unique in its own right at McGill, other universities, such as the University of British Columbia, King's College in Nova Scotia, Carleton University in Ottawa, and

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Courses in the program will Concordia University also offer study options that use a similar integrative, focus on the ancient worlds of the Greeks, Romans, and Chinese, team-taught approach. After consulting with students, the medieval Mediterranean Islam, initial decision to base enrolment in Judaism, and Christianity, early mod "Making Modernités" on grades has ern trans-Atlantic society, and the been dismissed in favour of a more modern North and South—all in more egalitarian approach, according to detail than can be covered in a tradi Galaty. The program will be open to tional class. The university approved the all applicants, but gender, ethnicity, age, and other indicators of diversity "Making Modernités" program on could be considered if the number of Wednesday. The new program will applicants exceeds the 176 student be refined and finalized in the upcom ing months. ■ enrolment limit.

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is possible to return course packs for a full refund with proof of having dropped the class in question. McGovern said that this leniency is not common among other course pack providers. "These are photocopy-able, print ed materials," he said. It is technically possible for a stu dent to merely photocopy the course pack and attempt to return it, he

Management, found it easy to return his course pack for a first year Management course. "I returned the course pack because I dropped the class," he said. "It was no trouble at all." Nirwan had heard through friends that this process was available at the Bookstore, but was unsure how many other students knew about the option.

Tuition, ancillary fees, gym mem bership, rent, health care, groceries, beer, and textbooks—the expenses of university life seem unending. Often students have the impression that the McGill administration is trying to clean them (and their parents) out. Buying textbooks is no exception. Before the end of the add/drop period, many students audit classes, shopping around for their final sched ule. This can leave those lacking orga The McGill Bookstore is not as unforgiving as one might nizational skills behind in their read believe. The bold letters on the back of course packs declar ings. ing them unreturnable are not as set in stone as they appear. It is not uncommon for students to buy their textbooks and course packs before they are completely sure of their schedules in order to stay on top of Many students are unaware that explained, which is why the excep things. But what happens when a stu tions are decided on a case-bycase they can return course packs and wait dent has bought the book and to buy their books until the end of basis. dropped the class? The Bookstore is trying to adapt add/drop period, falling behind in The McGill Bookstore is not as to recent changes in registration that their coursework. unforgiving as one might believe. The "I was unsure if I'd be able to have made it easier to drop courses bold letters on the back of course return my course pack," said Heather using Minerva. packs declaring them unreturnable are A sign in the Bookstore lobby Parsons, U2 Psychology. She unex not as set in stone as they appear. clearly alerts students that it is possible pectedly dropped a history class and "The policy of the bookstore is to return course packs with a valid was not sure whether she would get that [course packs] are not return schedule showing the course has been her money back. able," said Patrick McGovern, text "They were really nice about it," dropped. The sign directs students book coordinator at the Bookstore, downstairs to speak to an employee in Parsons said, "but you could tell that "but we are willing to make excep order to receive approval for the there was a speech they had to give tions in exceptional cases." you. It's obviously an issue at staff With McGovern's permission, it refund. Rajinder Nirwan, UO meetings." ■

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while, have issued a statement in which Harry apologizes for his "poor choice in costume" and any knickers this costume malfunction may have twisted. Prince Charles is, says the BBC, "incandescent with rage"—a phrase that brings to mind rather amusing imagery of candles lit behind the ears of the aging heir. Charles has decreed that Harry must learn a lesson in sensitivity. And to do this, he's shipping the boy off to Auschwitz—just for a tour, of course. He's not that angry. I'm not terribly angry either, even though as a Jew I suppose I could be. His cos tume was insensitive at the very least, and, at the most, very offensive to Holocaust survivors who should expect more from a royal. That said, the real scan dal is that Prince William went with his younger brother to get the costume. How can some one so hot—even if he is a bit vanilla—think this was a good idea? And then he himself went dressed as a lion! Oy, these goyim. But really—Harry's cos tume choice reeks of naïve ignorance, a condition easily remedied by education, and not the sort of overtly hostile rhetoric spouted by, say, our friend down by the Roddick Gates protesting the Jewish General. Props to Prince Charles for sending his son to get the sort of education I wish all racists could receive. ■

fi t m m w i m *eea' I * u'h< ‘ * 4 , ill X k* !>.i) * icW 'f"' U p to S p e e d ' :; ‘ ■ hu <s <’ sho «V ,4 J .. .. Prague's mayor disguised himself as an Italian tourist and took a few taxi rides to expose the city's nototQMU£h MW}!* riously corrupt taxi drivers. He found that one taxi driver's meter was rigged to charge him five times the correct I ^!. ! amount, and that another driver doubled the price when he ^ ill asked to pay in euros as opposed to the Czech national curwJi ,t rency, the Koruna. • Management consultant William Fried , — - ‘ ’ will not be invited back to Palo Alto middle school for his pop*V’ " ular annual Career Day speech entitled "The Secret of a Happy Life, after he fold a group of eighth grade students that stripping rite would earn them a good living. • New Scientist reports that US : I military proposals called The Sunshine Project included an aphro disiac that would make men in the enemy troops sexually attracted f ’i m r to each other, a method to make their skin sensitive to sunlight, and Of.rtr y : a chemical jhat would give them foul breath if they tried to blend to can ^ in with civilians. The researchers for these projects are said to have >f o iM . applied for government funding, but never got off the ground. • A

43-year-otd woman from Oshawa was arrested for smoking a joint while her grandchildren were in the car she was driving. • US W« j. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer set an example when he jvi< >,|^| . reported for jury duty in Marlborough, Massachusetts, but was *»{ [WH nof se^ec^ed for trial, • A couple from Transylvania was so ** . n grateful for meeting over the Internet that they have named their son Lucian Yahoo. f t i W B fci -1 SOURCES:ANANOVA.COM,BBC.CO.UK,CANADI>. J I.!» him AN PRESS,CBSNEWS.COM,CNN.COM, THEBOSTONI b ■*.. u l .» Utn CHANNEL.COM ».* ir«tn *

th e mcgill tribune | 18.1.05 | new s

SPEAKER PREVIEW

SARS

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S S M U

v is it c a m p u s

U n d e r g r a d u a te stu d e n ts to

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LAURA SABA Dr. Mona Loutfy, an infectious dis eases specialist •who was instrumental in the treatment of the Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome outbreak in the summer of 2003, will visit campus and give the keynote speech as part of the Science Undergraduate Society's Academia Week, which is running from January 24 to 28. Academia week is a free speak er series that is designed to help undergraduates apply their degrees after graduation, according to SUS Vice-President (Academic) Christopher Lee. Loutfy accepted the invitation to speak at McGill because she wanted to tell "a story where the science, med ical, social science, and political worlds all worked together." Another reason was her age, she said. "I'm 33 now, so I'm pretty young. I think it's important to emphasize to undergraduates that you can con tribute to society at any age." Undergraduates should hear per sonal stories to inspire and motivate them, she said, "especially since it's a very special time in the world to be an undergraduate." Loutfy was a post-doctoral fellow at the Montreal General Hospital researching HIV when she was called to Scarborough, Ontario to assist in the treatment of SARS, a disease caus ing respiratory failure that first broke out in March 2003 and ultimately claimed 44 Canadian lives. Loutfy said a friend called her to

MED.SC.EDU A SARS-infected lung. Mona Loutfy was honoured for fighting the disease.

the Sunnybrook and Women's College Health Sciences Centre because she is an infectious diseases specialist who had trained at the University of Toronto and had worked with such specialists in the area. "Dr. Anita Rachlis was one of my mentors, it was a personal call to help, so I went," she said. Loutfy returned to Montreal only to be called a second time, this time to the North York General Hospital, where she is now continuing her HIV research in addition to working as an assistant professor at the University of Toronto. During the search for a treatment of the disease, she led an effort to administer a combination of interfer ons (proteins that fight infection] with steroids to patients. The treatment ulti mately proved effective. As a result of her work, Loutfy has

earned both national and international media attention. In 2004, TIME Canada called her one of "Canada's heroes" because she was the first physician from outside Ontario to lend her efforts to treating the outbreak. She said that she sometimes feels uncomfortable with the "hero" moniker because hundreds of people were working together on the treatment, and being singled out felt strange. "It feels funny," she said. "A lot of people were involved, a lot of heroes were involved." "On the other hand," Loutfy added, "it's made my parents really happy." ■ Loutfy will be speaking in Leacock 132 at 7pm on Monday, January 24. For more information on Academia Week, call SUS at 398-6979.

6 0

S E C O N D S

Students who waited weeks for their grades can blame those errant classmates whose professors gave them extensions for their coursework. In many large classes, instructors refrained from posting grades until they had assigned grades to all stu dents. "Because there were a cou ple of blanks, they couldn't roll the grades centrally," said Students' Society acting President Andrew Bryan... SSMU signed on to a Fédération étudiante universitaire du Québec telephone campaign pres suring lawmakers to reverse last sum mer's $ 103-million cut to student bur saries. Participating schools are responsible for coordinating groups of students to call 20 designated MNAs three days a week. The fiveweek campaign began yesterday... SSMU Vice-President Operations Anthony Di Carlo refuted claims that

the elimination of a $3 per semester fee puts the SSMU daycare at finan cial risk. Students approved the ter mination of the fee in a fall referen dum. Di Carlo cited financial state ments prior to the referendum that showed the daycare running a $100,000 surplus... The January 4Floors party has tentatively been postponed until March 4. Members of the Students' Society Programming Network had debated whether to hold the event after two fall SSPN events—the Culture 4Floors party and "School Daze" battle of the bands—both lost money. The point of 4Floors has never been to make a profit, SSMU Vice-President Communications and Events Mark Sward said, though he noted it has become a "waning tra dition." —JenniferJett

QUOTABLES "You don't want to be seen as fiddling like Nero while Rome or Mosul or Baghdad is burning. But there is some thing powerful about having an inaugu ration that is smooth." —History professor Gil Troy, in a Los Angeles Times article Friday about US President George W. Bush's inauguration this Thursday. The week-long inauguration festivities, which include a parade and several balls, will cost an estimated $40million.

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B ring G e r t 's b a c k t o g lo r y Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but we wish we didn't. —Erica Jong

T he problem with Gert's is not only the actual operation of the bar, but the thinking, or lack thereof, about its future. Many innovations have been the product of outside-the-box thinking, where traditionalism and standards are thrown out the window in favour of radicalism. This is not to say that our campus bar, or what is left of it, should undergo some serious manage ment initiatives so that it may seek the best profit margin—that is not what this critique is about. However, some serious brainstorming is due, since right now there is not nearly enough of it going around. We have to stop the questions of what TV channel should be shown and even what kind of beer Gert's should sell. Revitalizing Gert's through club involvement It seems as if no one goes to Gert's because no one else is going. But if our campus bar pro moted itself more as a club frinedly site, then maybe they'd get more patrons. Already clubs can rent out the bar, sponsor nights and events, rent the coat check, and hold meetings there. But how many do? The sheer numbers would give Gert's some atmosphere it sorely lacks, promote greater attendance on other nights, and help it capitalize on an audience that is instead booking nightclubs on the St-Laurent strip. Truly making an effort to become involved with the student community would help surmount the neglect, to say nothing of improving the bar's attendance figures and cachet. Know when to Hold'em If our campus bar wants to regain its home field advantage, it has to tap into the "in" thing these days: poker. Gert's could host a Hold'em tournament once a month. Instead of money, players compete for beer and coupons. Instead of a bu^in, Gert's charges a modest cover and every player gets $1,000 in chips. The bar is big enough to host about 150 players, and those who get knocked out early are likely to hang out and talk to their fel low competitors while awaiting the outcome of the tournament. And with all those free coupons the players are to receive, they will have an incentive to come back to Gert's on other nights. Hosting a Hold'em tournament is just one step Gert's can take in the long path back to rele vance and respectability.

From the grassroots up Gert's was a great thing, according to the early 1990s grads that sometimes wander into Shatner. They talk about meeting there after class es, drinking beer and coffee, talking to profs... basically a far better experience than today's oper ation. Gert's needs to appeal to the first years. Like any successful business, starting from the grass roots will help save our bar from oblivion. Poster at the residences, offer promotional beers to firstyears or any floor fellow. Start young and get them hooked. It works for the cigarette companies, so why not our fading bar? Maybe if we actually had some good mem ories of hanging out at Gert's between classes or after exams, rather than the grope-fest Thursday Night Tradition, well, maybe we'd come back more often. Jock up the joint Whatever happened to the McGill Athletics security crew—those body rock bouncers that start ed more fights than they contained? If Gert's wants to get busy, then it needs to bring back the football players. TNT nights were solely a success because of the football team's promoting efforts. Though the place was also a bit of a "jock" scene, the fact remains that it was a full jock scene. Gert's has been empty since the football team's departure. To fill it up, we need to jock it up. An alternative to the Ste-Catherine strip Can we save two lost birds with one stone by upping the patronage of Gert's and simultaneous ly making the financial lives of students easier? We can: make it a strip club—the first of which to ever have student-friendly prices. Yes, Gert's, keep your drink prices low and your cover charge under $5, but invest your petty cash now at Copie Nova for application forms. A daily roster of paid dancers would not only be guaranteed to attract a substantial crowd night after night, but would aid all students who simply can't win the elusive oncampus employment opportunities. For maximum benefits on all sides, open the stripper jobs up to everyone for male nights, female nights, and even mixed nights. McGill is renowned for diversity, so let's start a new trend. The point: to find some solutions before stu dents become completely alienated from a sup posed campus staple. ■

B e g g a rs

c a n

b e

n Thursday, Hillel's McGill chapter and the Arab Students' Association co-sponsored the launch of Yalla, a literary journal edited by three Arab students and three Jewish students. Sara Kemeny, president of Hillel McGill, called it "the first-ever collaboration between Hillel and ASA." This new unity may be a landmark event in McGill student history, but these bridges have been crossed before. While we hold out hope for the success of this endeavour in bringing together two traditionally diver gent groups, ventures of this- sort have not always been met with open arms. ASA was less inclined to accept Yalla as enthusiastically as Hillel's Kemeny. In a mass e-mail to its members, ASA declared that it does not necessarily endorse the content of the journal, but that it is "committed to representing the Arab world at all events." Before accusations that the ASA is against communication start to fly, however, one must appreciate the group's position. If they claim to be absolutely pro-collaboration between themselves and Hillel, they will have a lot of angry people on their hands. Everybody wants an end to the ani mosity, but no group wants to be the first Arab collective to endorse Hillel, since the organization often maintains support for Israeli policies that many members of the ASA fiercely oppose. Zeina Awad, a Canadian peace activist, used to travel across North America giving lectures encouraging an open dialogue between Jews and Arabs. However, after working within the Montreal and Toronto eth nic populations for over six years, she discovered to her chagrin that col laboration between the groups had all but disintegrated, and for her efforts was dubbed a "sell-out" by those she was trying to support. Besides such negative examples, strides are being made on a smaller level in approaching a more open dialogue between Jews and Arabs. In California last year, a pair of Middle Eastern actors living in the San Francisco Bay Area collectively wrote and starred in a college pro duction entitled Ambassadors of Very Good Will. The kicker: one artist, Meirav Kupperberg, is Jewish, and the other, Ibrahim Miara, is Arab. The plays message is one of coexistence and peace between two peoples whose history is anything but. Comedians Rabbi Bob Alper and Ahmed Ahmed have been touring their successful comedy show entitled "One Arab, One Jew, One Stage" for more than two years. This pairing was unlikely—indeed, they have earned the nickname "comedy's odd couple"—but it was bound to hap pen at some point. These stories might give you a warm, fuzzy feeling, or they just might give you a sinking one in the pit of your stomach. This is a situation in which communication has been posing more questions than answers. It is one in which the initial hopefulness soon fades away as we realize that someone, somewhere is going to screw this up. There is no doubt that this issue is not being pursued as much as it needs to be. Want some evidence? In a Google search for the phrase, "Arab Jewish collaboration," only 13 hits came up. For a little context, consider that a search for "porn star automobile" yielded 19 hits. Ouch. There is a choice here, not just for ASA and Hillel, but for their sup porters and detractors as well. It is time for these groups to set the exam ple for the rest of campus and the rest of society. They need to preserve the connection that has just been made, and this might require asking people everywhere to look past the issues and build on the efforts they are currently making. ■

c h o o s e rs DANIEL CHODOS

ollowing a pleasant dinner with my grandmother last sum— mer, I found myself left with an unusually excessive amount of pizza. I wanted to bring home my gourmet doggy bag, >ut unfortunately I did not expect to find a refrigerator until many hours later. My potential solution presented a philosophical quandary: is it wrong to give my gooey remnants to a homeless person? After much soul-searching and introspection, I decided against it. After all, those who must live on the street are entitled to as much dignity as anyone. By offering them your mother-inlaw's leftover meatloaf, you may inadvertently affront their sense of self-worth. That being said, I wish to present a few cases where these fine people may have taken their freedom of choice a little too far. While I sat eating my $3.99 12-inch Subway, as is my thrifty Tuesday custom, a homeless gentleman asked to finish my sandwich. Upon handing him the remainder of my lunch, the man took a good look at it, and then he abruptly handed it back to me with a polite "no thanks." Erring on the side of cau tion, I opted to dispose of the final four inches of my hoagie.

Seeking an explanation, I imagined it was possible that my more often too. newfound friend was allergic to chicken. Or perhaps he was on Here's another potential explanation. Every day, we see a diet, and thus could not gorge on my ranch dressing-smoth bums traversing the Ghetto, picking up empty soda containers. ered sub. Further, I considered the distinct possibility that the When the 10 cent refund per can is aggregated over a whole beggar was exercising his God-given right to be selective. day's work, these venture capitalists can turn in a pretty penny. Later that week, my father regaled me with a similarly baf Entrepreneurship is no doubt a stressful endeavour, even for fling tale of panhandling pickiness. Once, when visiting Toronto these derelict wheeler-dealers in the street. The everyday pains on business, my father was approached by a man on the street, and strains of running a "business" may explain their, at times, asking for money to buy a meal. In response to his kind offer to unruly behaviour. buy him a slice of pizza, the frail and hungry solicitor respond However we rationalize certain beggars' obtuse social ten ed, "No, I already had pizza today." dencies, their behaviour presents an eye-opening allegory for This phenomenon is not limited to food. Walking along rue people everywhere. Are we, clothed and housed and showSherbrooke one day, I offered a quarter to a withered panhan ered, no better than those who live on the street? NHL hockey dler. As I saddled off, satisfied with my philanthropic efforts, the players would rather strike—losing a year's worth of payman callously threw the coin back at me, nailing me in the neck. cheques—than accept a salary cap; law students clamber at I held back my anger, though. After all, in these inflationary the doors of powerhouse Toronto law firms, eschewing times, I may have breached his minimum donation allowance. $50,000 starting salaries elsewhere; and I simply will not drink How might we explain the fastidious tendencies of our Treebu's half-assed attempt at beer, as affordable as it may be. homeless brethren? Well, for starters, they are homeless—if you I suppose it's just human nature to desire beyond one's basic resided among dumpsters and vomit, you would get ticked off needs. Perhaps it is the same with beggers. ■

th e mcgill trib u n e | 18.105 | opinion

The

Deconstructing the facade

IVIcGill T rib u n e Curiosity delivers. E d it o r - in - C h ie f

Natalie Fletcher editor@tribune.mcgill.ca M a n a g in g E d it o r s

Katherine Fugler James Scarfone seniored@tribune.mcgill.ca N ew s E d it o r s

Jennifer Jett Laura Saba Lisa Varano tribnews@tribune.mcgill.ca F e a t u r e s E d it o r s

Liz Allemang Panthea Lee features@tribune.mcgill.ca A&E E d it o r s

Daniel Chodos Lise Treutler arts@tribune.mcgill.ca S p o r t s E d it o r s

W a r

is h e l l

BRETT SCHREWE

brett. sch rewe@moi I.mcgi II.ca s a friend pointed out to me a few days ago, Martin Luther King Day goes largely unnoticed in Canada—unlike the empire to the south, there are no school closings, no 24hour sales, no quaver in the urban pulse. Likewise, as the jubilee year of the assassination of Archbishop Oscar Romero of El Salvador was inaugurated last weekend, there were few blips on the community radar screen. However, while it is quite rare in these days that the destruction of a human being by violence is seen as an act worthy of putting a lever in the turning, gears of society, these two men silenced by silencers have gained eternal life in the collec tive conscious. For it is in the ultimate witness of those who refuse to compromise for peace and justice that we are able to see outside of our selves, and to hear the inner rumble of Zapatista Subcomandante Marcos's “enough is enough within. Why, though, is it that we lose our cultural blindness only when our Cassandras are struck down? Why do we not see it in the body of Rachel Corrie crushed under a bulldozer in Palestine, an eight-year-old child deemed collat eral damage in Najaf, a mother of three shot in a parking lot in Detroit? It is in every violent death that on some level we are reminded of our human nature, a nature characterized both by capacities

for deep compassion and great destruction. More often than not, we hide from the latter, preferring to justify incarnated hate as an aberra tion. We ascribe villainous qualities to perpetra tors by displacing our frustration on the young American sniper in Mosul and the suicide bomber at the Gaza checkpoint, transforming them into inhuman monsters and shattering the mirror on the wall. In the process, we quickly for get the example of Rwanda, where next-door neighbours—everyday people like ourselves— who were on pleasant terms one week butchered each other the next. We are very good at saying we will never forget. Yet a mere three years after 9/1 1, we leveled Fallujah without regret. As his army cut a swath through the state of Georgia during the American civil war, William Tecumseh Sherman uttered three simple words that we have let fall out of our grasp: war is hell. Rather, we have turned it into a video game on CNN, a multi-billion dollar tragicomedy where a nation's bullets can be shot by the enemy at one s own military, and an absolute necessity to make the world a safer place. The irony of firing mis siles into urban areas and deluging the enemy with monsoons of bullets to make the world a safer place is laughable, and sickeningly so. Further, television, print media, and the Internet have turned us into the gatekeepers of

hell, allowing us to bring it into our homes at our discretion. With that emotional remote control, though, we can only see a destroyed city. We cannot feel the vibration of an explosion, hear the cacophony of confusion, or the disorientation and fear in life when the end could occur at any second. There is a scene in A Very Long Engagement where soldiers are ordered out of the trenches to attack with the cry, "For France!" About 40 sec onds later, most have been cut down by a German machine gun, lives lost to the anonymity of the mud. The absurdity of the scene is a metaphor for what we face now—for whose interpretation of ideals are we fighting, what encourages the bloodlust in those that remain six degrees of separation from the hot zone, and perhaps most importantly, why do we, as Dr. King so astutely observed, continue to believe we destroy the hate when we destroy the hater? At the heart of all of this is reclaiming the dignity of human beings, free of labels and of sides, as ends-in-ourselves rather than as faceless currency for some ideal or some promise of peace, where the purchase price of even one life taken violently is too high. The next time that war is ready to explode, may we shout "Présente" to the wisdom of King and Romero within, and refrain from indulging annihilation. ■

Radically respectable

Mohit Arora Andrew Segal sports@tribune.mcgill.ca

G o d , W illia m

S a tir e , a n d

, ■■ f g * h m kim.dsouza@mail. mcgill.ca

P h o t o E d it o r s

Yasemin Emory Iwona Link photo@tribune.mcgill.ca

T his columns headline is meant to be a list, in

C o p y E d it o r

Sam Goffman sam.goffman@mail.mcgill.ca D e s ig n E d it o r s

Lara Bekhazi Benji Feldman Heather Kitty Mak design@tribune.mcgill.ca O n l in e E d it o r

Lynne Hsu online@tribune.mcgill.ca A d v e r t is in g M a n a g e r

Paul Slachta advmgr@ssmu.mcgill.ca A d T ypesetter

Shawn Lazare P u b l is h e r

Chad Ronalds C o lla bo rato rs

Dave Barber, Andrew Bauer, Dave Brodkey, Robert Church, Keira Costanza, Celia D'Andrea, Kim D'Souza, Natalie Earl, Samantha Fuss, Joseph Gilgoff, Rebecca Graber, Xiang Gu, Emily Harris, Dany Horovitz, Gracia Jalea, Genevieve Jenkins, Seema Jethalal, Catherine Lemery, Ben Lemieux, Jacqueline Leung, Devin Montgomery, Thomas Pagliarulo, Jay Paleja, Julie Peters, Resham Popa, Melissa Price, Julia Raponi, Scott Sameroff, Brett Schrewe, Julia Shonfield, Elisha Siegel, Mikelis Steprans, Azadeh Tamjeedi, Serene Tourna, Harvey Wallace T r ib u n e O f f ic es Editorial. Shatner University Centre, Suite 110, 3480 McTavish, Montreal Q C Tel: 514.398.6789 Fax. 514.398.1750 Advertising. Brown Student Building, Suite 1200, 3 6 0 0 McTavish, Montreal Q C H 3A 1Y 2 Tel. 514.398.6806 Fax. 514.398.7490

decreasing order, of power. I'm probably just flattering myself about the power columnists wield by putting New York Times columnist William Safire behind God but ahead of the tsunami. Still, Safire, considered by many to be the master of my trade, has been a force to reck on with in his thirty-two years on the Times' oped page. A review of Safire's career has helped me clarify a couple of insights about column writing, which I now attempt to share, interwoven (seam lessly, I hope) with my reaction to Safire's take on subjects including God and the tsunami. Safire's 1978 Pulitzer Prize for a number of columns that forced the resignation of Robert Lance, Jimmy Carter's White House budget direc tor, is emblematic of his clout, which has been used more recently to critique Bushs clampdown on civil liberties, and also to defend the war in Iraq. Safire is a brilliant writer, who "transcends predictability," as my fellow Tribune columnist Jeff Roberts said last week. Safire's variety of interests and the personal contact he enjoys with a number of world leaders including Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon are helpful here. I think his unpre dictability is valuable, because it makes people more likely to take his column seriously. So far, so good.

My second conclusion is that Safire has too

th e

ts u n a m i KIM D'SOUZA

often exaggerated for the sake of making forceful, unqualified statements. In fact, Safire seems to have jumped to conclusions even in the claims of his Pulitzer Prize winning columns; all the investi gations into Lance's conduct yielded nothing. Another example of this tendency is the 1998 col umn he wrote in the voice of Hillary Clinton, wor rying whether documentation of the Clintons' ille gal activities had been destroyed. These examples, I think, show that Safire has habitually yielded to the temptation to oversimpli fy complex things, which, in my experience, is the biggest temptation that columnists face. The complex subject of divine providence is just one of the subjects that Safire tackles in is his January 10 column, "Where was God?" In the aftermath of the tsunami, Safire turns to the book of Job in the Hebrew Bible. He concludes with three lessons from Job: no one has any right to conclude that any victims deserved their cata strophic fate; that complaining to God in prayer has an exemplar in the Bible and need not under mine faith; and that such a catastrophe proclaims an obligation of justice for all humans to help in every way possible to meet the needs the victims. However, in the course of getting to these conclusions, Safire wrote: "The point of Jobs gutsy defiance of God' injustice right there in the Bible—is that it is not blasphemous to challenge the highest authority when it inflicts a moral wrong. [Job] gets an unexpected reaction: in a

thunderous theophany, God appears before the startled man with the longest and most beautifully poetic speech attributed directly to him in Scripture... The poet-priest's point, I think, is that God is occupied bringing light to darkness, imposing physical order on chaos, and leaves his human creations free to work out moral justice on their own." Now I'm no Biblical scholar, and I don't know a word of Hebrew, but I looked at a few Bible translations in the library. And Safire, I think, gets it exactly wrong. The point of the book of Job's description of the divine action in the uni verse is not that God should be challenged about committing moral wrongs, but precisely that God doesn't commit wrongs, period. Rather, God's care for the world operates a scale that exceeds human understanding. Anyway, despite my criticisms, I'd like to end on a more positive note, and here are two: First, Safire does see the moral imperative announced to us by the existence of human suffer ing, and the importance of this simply can't be underestimated. Second, Safire will continue to write his other column, about language, in the Sunday New York Times Magazine. I've only lately become a read er of this considerably more erudite column, but I'm looking forward to continuing to read the thoughts of the always entertaining, sometimes flawless, sometimes frustrating, William Safire. ■

Principal Munroe-Blum made her annual appear ance at SnOAP Friday evening, only staying long enough to gladhand stu dents on her way to the stage, where she gave a speech most attendees couldn't hear.

PHOTOS BY YASEMIN EMORY

rhe McGill Tribune is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the Studen^ Sr^ely °f ^formation 'VSubmissioni'^c^y^e ^maiV to o p e d ® ^ ^ ^ ^ Puf e ' T &Thrust and Reaction Engine must include contributors name, program and year, andL f^ ^ h liîh ïï Tie Tribune reserves the riqht to edit all contributions. Editorials are decided upon and written by the editorial board. ï ^ i S S s t ^ f T f c ^ K A recycle this newspaper. Subscriptions are available far $£>.00 per year.

I l O opinion | 18.105 j the mcgill tribune The Dose

^ d is p a tc h b o x

T h e

k is s i l e n t i n

elisha.siegel@mail. mcgill. ca

E th n ic , w ith in q u o t e s FARAH QASEMI

I n the January 13, 2005 issue of The McGill Daily, one of the reasons of the failure of SSPN events this year was mentioned to be the unpopularity of "ethnic" music. While it's under standable for events (more particularly, parties) to take unprecedented turns and end up with losses instead of prof its, blaming these losses on the type of music—and that too "ethnic" music in a place like McGill is outright hilarious. Why? Well, maybe because, I don't know, could it be that McGill is, like, the school with the highest per centage of "international" students in Canada? Yes, yes it is. If "ethnic" music wasn't popular, almost half of Montreal nightlife would have been shut down right nowl Even on our own campus, groups such as MISN, SALSA, MEDSA, MIPSA, HSA, ASA, MANABA, or MIA regularly organize parties with this same "eth nic" music as their themes, and guess what? Their events end up selling out days in advance of the actual event. (By the way, if you don't know what acronyms like these mean, congratula tions! You've been excluding, at the very least, half of the McGill student population who relate to them.) If we're so concerned about issues such as food and ancillary serv ices on our campus, why can't we be concerned about our nightlife too? I want to live in a city like Montreal and have my Students' Society money go towards events that make an effort to cater to my occasional party taste too, damn it! I listen to Radiohead and the Rolling Stones at home, and I think Kevin Smith was a genius (before he hit his head a couple of years ago and started making junk, that is). But if I want to get my yearly dose of salsa music from my students' society, is it really too much to ask? Don't get me wrong. I'm absolute- • ly in love with OAP and I can't imag ine not having gone to 4Floors parties. Walking into the SnOAP tent, I imme diately think of some of my best McGill memories, and as a freshmen student, parties geared towards the younger student crowd seemed like the most amazing idea in the world, but guess what? I want variety and choice in my life! And for the love of God, people, these "ethnic" types of music all have names like Salsa, Meringue, Bhangra, Reggae, Egyptian etc. These are all very different genres of music, and bringing them under one umbrella by giving them a label is nothing but ridiculous and a sign of ignorance on our behalf! This debate comes up at the SSMU every single year. Every year, event organizers blame their inability to work with other groups on lame excuses such as the lack of popularity of "ethnic" music on our campus, leaving those who oversee their committees hanging in limbo. If you need to cancel parties, do it. Just don't blame it on "ethnic" any thing! ■ —Farah Qasemi is a U3 Computer Engineer, former SSPN member, and former Communications Commissioner for SSMU.

ELISHA SIEGEL

I 've always been a healthy kid. Save for the

of snow. I screamed bloody murder and pound occasional asthma attack and one particularly ed my fist into the icy pavement. Clutching my nasty hockey stick to the head, I've steered knee, all I could think was that my season was clear of the emergency room. My two sports, over. competitive swimming and Playsation 2, aren't Of course, none of my intoxicated friends exactly high contact. But all that changed for me believed I was actually hurt. "Get up, you pussy" last week. was the extent of their sympathies. They grabbed I was at the bar enjoying a couple of was my arms and tried to pull me up. But I was like sails for a friend's birthday and generally mind Gandhi in a garment factory, a total dead ing my own business. As I left the fine Prince- weight. Nobody was going to move me until I Arthur establishment, I was sneak-attacked by a was damn well ready. member of the Tribunes editorial board who no The rest of the night's a blur. I remember doubt resented the high profile lifestyle of us Trib being carried back to a friend's apartment and columnists. While fighting for my life in this jour laid out on her bed. Frozen peas and whiskey nalist pn journalist violence, an engineering stu were applied topically as recommended by a dent with a crooked smile hit me in the back of pre-med who assured everyone I wasn't conta the leg with a really big stick. Some claim it was gious. All the while a former rugby player who'd a Tonya-style crowbar, other witnesses say it was lost a knee in the war inexplicably screamed at a billyclub stolen from a cop that the engineer me, "Stay alive, I will find you!" had killed earlier that night. As my knee swelled and what looked like a The minute he hit me I heard a "pop-pop- goiter formed where my knee used to be, I bit pop," on the inside of my left knee. I dropped to down a wooden spoon and stoically managed the cobblestones in agony, taking on a mouth full the pain without making a sound. Or I might

O Z X

have cried like a little girl. The details are sketchy. However it happened, I woke up the next day with a hangover, a full bladder, and a sword in my leg. The bathroom was out of the question, I knew as much when I tried to put my foot down and promptly hurled obscenities at my creator. God really fucked me on this one,' I thought to myself. With a full bladder and a head full of heretic thoughts, I waited for help -to arrive. The former rugby player returned from his morning deer hunt alongside a bearded Scotsman with a car. Long story short, I man aged to watch two playoff football games before the bearded Scotsman took me to the emergency room for a round of X-rays and a pair of crutches. The doctor assured me it was just a sprain and that I should be up and drinking again within the decade. I thanked the doctor and made my way home along Montreal's myri ad sidewalk deathtraps, promising to get even with the engineer with the crooked smile. ■

Load o' Chode

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k n e e

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US?» daniel.chodos@mail.mcgill.ca s your run-of-the-mill couch potato, I'm always trying to find ways to make my life easier. Whereas you might get up to open the door when your friend comes over, I prefer to tie a string to it. Whereas you might wash your dishes, I just buy new ones every week. Whereas you might have a pile of dirty laundry, I keep two piles: dirty and used. Get the pic ture? There are no doubt those who may look down at my slothful behaviour, but I have news for them: the wave of the future is on my side. As technology proliferates at an unprecedented pace, so too does my ability to remain idle. Correspondence courses are going to replace actual class es; all my chats can be done from the com fort of my dingy computer room; and, most importantly, I possess three devices that enhance my sitting-on-myass potential ten fold: pagers, buzzers, and remote controls. Yes, these little noisemakers may not be pleasing to the ear, but they are sure as hell conducive to my lifestyle. Have you ever left your portable phone off the hook, unable to discover it underneath the couch cushions, or inside the kitchen drawers, or buried within your used laundry pile? Well, a little green flashy button built into your phone's receiver known as the "pager" will alleviate this quandary lickity-split by beep

i-f\s

Pagers, buzzers, and remote controls: the lost art of laziness DANIEL CHODOS ing incessantly until your finger acknowl edges its presence. Ah, the joys of new technology. My question is: why don't all house hold objects have this affordable, but oftoverlooked feature? Television controllers, remote car starters, house keys, cutlery, your retainer case: these items are all cry ing out for pagers. Sadly, generic pagers are not readily available for such purposes just yet. However, a more enterprising couch pota to can build his or her own pager with a few basic parts, including one chime, one quarterAvatt resistor, one 50volt capacitor, and a tube of soldering glue—just $10.99 total at your neighbourhood Radio Shack. There is a God. Have you ever been late for an appointment? You may have inscribed the scheduled time in your silly little date book, but what good is that if you don't check your date book. The lazy man's credo dic tates that a noise of some sort must alert someone in the event of a meeting or appointment of any kind. Hence, timerbased buzzers are the next most integral point in the Chodos Guidebook of Laziness. When using these handy gadgets, be sure to think outside the box. It can be set to remind you to watch the latest episode of

The O.C.; it can be used to let you know when to put out the garbage; last week, you could have set it to alert yourself of the two-day McDonald's deli sandwich give away In fact, you can program your buzzer with dozens of different tones to represent different events throughout the day. Cellphone companies are way ahead of me on this one. These days, mobile devices come equipped with all kinds of tools for the Lethargic Lenny on your Christmas list, up to and including any number of buzzer types. Have you ever seen Quagmire or Boomhauer woo women into their arms by altering a room's lighting, bar, music, and furniture with the touch of a single buttoi That could be you! Remote controls, the final piece of the laziness puzzle, should be mandatory in any household whose inhabitants are looking to save time and energy. Really, am I a bad person because I want to cook my dinner, set the VCR, print an essay, turn the blinds, lock the front aoor, and refill my juice glass, all without leaving my recliner? I'd like to think not. In fact, I think people like me should be praised. With all this time on my hands, I can go running and biking and skating and swimming and... on second thought, I think I'll just check what's on TV. ■

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P 3 R K {Dentistry} HUMOUR

Correction: In Sam Goffman s editorial last week, "Hope made possible by inconceivable dis aster," the writer stated that the initial pledge from the US to tsunami victims was $30million. The correct amount is $ 15-million The Tribune regrets the error.

o D Z) D > © 1z © “D tô ~o "c © Q

Indeed, we did have extra space c inour seemingly bare Opinion O section. So, hey, quit making our d faces red and write us some damn Q_ letters. We knowthere are some haters out there. O

c a m p u s S u rv iv o r: F r o m t h e h e a r t o f t h e t s u n a m i D is c o v e r in g

h u m a n ity

in t h e

m id s t o f

d is a s te r

The following story is a firsthand account of Harvey Wallace, a relative of McG/W student Anton Lecky, U1 History, who has submitted this telling narrative of his survival of the deadly tsuna mi that struck Southeast Asia on December 26.

was tied to another boat and that, if another wave came, we wouldn't be able to untie and get out in time. And most of all I kept on thinking, "What the fuck just happened today?" The day after

We were leaving Phi Phi for somewhere safer. I wasn't going to die but I was going into the open ocean again. I hadn't allowed myself to break down into tears yet; I was in too much disbelief, as were the 25 or so other people now on the boat. That trip to Long Island was spent pretty much in dead silence. , . TL ., Nearing 4am we arrived at this small fishing village of about 20 to 30 people. They said to take their houses and they would sleep in their friends' places. The generosity of the Thai peo ple throughout that day and the following days was really amazing. We were all very thanktul since, for most of us, we had lost everything. Myself, all I had was. my flip-flops, board sb°r*s' and my hat. We spent the night on wooden floors and woke up at dawn. After we gathered our thoughts and figured out what the next step was, we got back on the dive boat to keep Then this current grabbed me and I almost hit the vertical reef wall on my side. Again I looked out into the deep water for my dive master. I can only remember looking away white moving. There were some people who had cellphones and were able to text message, but the nor this current was grabbing us and then turning back and Frasse was no longer below us and the mal lines were down. We hitched rides into Phuket to the crisis centre where all the embassies reef wasn't there. The power of the current was amazingly strong and I remember feeling the sensation of how fast I was moving and was kind of confused because I wasn't entirely aware of what was going on but knew that something wasn't right. I could see it in my dive masters The power of the current was amazingly strong and I remember eyes when she was looking at me. . . , , ,, As I started to focus around me, I saw that the water visibility had dropped drastically, it feeling the sensation of how fast I was moving and was kind of was full of sand, and you could see huge chunks of coral—the size of garbage cans—whip confused because I wasn't entirely aware of what was going on ping by. When I looked up, you could no longer see the surface. It had gotten really dark and my eardrums had begun to really hurt. My dive master started to signal for us to go up and we but knew that something wasn't right. inflated our life vests with air and began to swim up. After inflating our vests and swimming up, I noticed it wasn't getting any brighter on the surface. I later found out what was happening was that when we started at 10 metres and began to "ascend to nine metres eight... seven... were set up to help their citizens along with food, water, and clothing. The eight hours spsnt then nine 12 15 20... 22 metres... we were being sucked down. Then, when this cur here were pretty frustrating and bleak. The Canadian embassy wasn't helping its people. The rent passed we rocked back up to the surface. At the time, it was a pretty terrifying experience only thing it did was give us a temporary ID that allowed us out of the country. Other countries because I could feel this depth change by the pain in my ears, and when you re swimming were housing their citizens in the actual embassies. upwards and the surface you're looking at only gets darker, it's hard to control your thoughts^ A few hours into the afternoon, some of the survivors and I were still sticking together. Lists When we surfaced, we looked around and we saw the dive boat about IÜU to I zU at the police station were being compiled of the deceased and the survivors from various metres away; this current had launched us incredibly far. Bear in mind, this current threw us this places. They waited for me as I was given stacks of paper and list upon list of names. By the distance in a matter of a few seconds. We signaled the dive boat and it came around to grab thousands, I had to scan through looking for my family to no avail. They had big boards set up us. When we gathered everyone up, I went to the top deck of this two-storey dive boat and for mug shots of dead bodies still unidentified. It was an extremely emotionally difficult thing to looked around at the surrounding water, and you could see these huge bright green upwelling look through board upon board of dead bodies trying to see if that was your sister or brother currents about five to eight metres in diameter all over the place. It was sand being welted trom by something. the sea floor. I couldn't figure out what the hell would cause that-it was beyond me. Ive never disfigured Leaving the crisis centre, they had rides set up to take people to the Phuket airport, mostly seen anything like it. , , , just volunteers with pickup trucks. We pulled into the airport and climbed out as my brother-inWe arrived in the bay after waiting for some of the chop to subside and the entire bay law walked up to the people I was with showing them a picture of me and asking where we was just littered with garbage-it looked like the whole village had been pushed into the water. came from and if they had seen me. When I saw him, there was this immeasurable weight taken Our boat took 30 minutes to navigate 400 metres of water because there was so much debris. off my shoulders at the thought that at least one family member was alive. It was such a huge The water had become dead still as well. „ , ,, , He told me everyone was alive and gave me my passport. Soon after looking at all of this, I realized that some of the debris was actually dead bod relief.The following days were spent on Khao Sahn Road, a major tourist hub for almost anyone ies some bent in ways they really shouldn't be. People who had been helped, by the very sma I who is travelling in Thailand or staying in Bangkok for any length of time. Over those few days, percentage of people trying to help, were lying in a clearing made by the wave where the hel we had kept seeing more of the people we survived with and our group started to revert back icopters were now landing to take out the most hurt and assess the damage Some of these peo to what it was before we got separated at the crisis centre. It was a great time in a dark few ple were maimed and impaled with fatal wounds and were dying right there on the ground. days I helped as many people as I could. You could see people walking down this Khao Sahn Death was everywhere. The village, or what was left of it, had turned into chaos road with crutches or bandages and cuts and scrapes-they generally needed help of some I spent the rest of the evening on our dive boat sitting on the hull thinking about the after kind so we did what we could, got them to phones, helped them with money or food, shared noon that had transpired and watching the water by the Full moon that was illuminating every our stories and consoled each other. It wasn't until then that I realized what exactly happens in thing I spent most of the time watching the waves and the current trying to see if the bay was those legions that the old war vets go to. I finally understood the camaraderie people have with emptying out again because of another tsunami. This was giving me anxiety attacks every JU one another when bound by catastrophe. ■ seconds. I kept thinking of my family, whether they were alive or dead, the fact that our boa

I t started the morning of the 26th around 8:30 local time when I was scuba diving off the coast of Ko Phi Phi, Thailand, a small island just off of Phuket. There were about 18 peo ple all together on the dive boat, one dive master per group of four-in my case, just the diver, another guy from Sweden, and me. I kept thinking in the back of my head how clichéd it would be if something went wrong while on my first dive. The group of divers below me included a guy I became close friends with over the following few days named Frasse. They were floating around two metres below us; we were around 10 metres under, remember looking down at his group and then out away from the shelf around us into the deep

W h a m

B a m

th a n k

y o u

m a ttre s s

THEN TAKE A LOOl AT THESE FUN .

V O LU N TEER * O PPO RTU N ITIES NO TALENT WILL CO TO WASTE! DISCOVER McGILL McGill's one-day, campus-wide University Orientation day needs you! Get involved & represent your faculty as one of our volunteers and make a difference by creating a great McGill experience for our new students, right from the start. Your day will be fun & action packed. A Group Leader guides a group of new students throughout the day’s activities, assisting them by providing personal leadership and sharing your advice & experience; Logistical Staff provide invaluable assistance behind the scenes, helping with various tasks, e.g„ staffing information kiosks, handing out the pizza, etc. Discover McGill will take place on Thursday, August 2 5 , 2 0 0 5 . Volunteers will also need to be available on Wednesday, August 2 4 for training and coordination meetings.

ORIENTATION CENTRE & FIRST-YEAR RESOURCE ROOM Another great opportunity to have fun, m eet people and help out is through the Orientation Centre & Resource Room. Student volunteers greet new students, provide information on McGill and Montreal, help with registration on MINERVA and generally dispense wisdom and comfort to new and returning students. The Centre & Resource Room will be open weekdays from Monday, August 2 2 - Friday, September 9 ,2 0 0 5 .

FIRST-YEAR BUDDY PROGRAM Perhaps you would like to act as a mentor, friend, trouble shooter or just be a "buddy" to first-year students in general? First-Year Buddies will be connected with first-year students throughout the summer and are encouraged to communicate with one or two first-year students by e-mail, to address their concerns or to alleviate anxieties. A “Starters Kit" is made available to all First-Year Buddies to assist with answering ques tions and providing accurate referrals.

INTERNATIONAL STUDENT BUDDY PROGRAM If you are a returning international student (or even if you're not), this is also a great way to help ease the transition for new students. The International Student Buddy Program,

administered by our International Student Services, assists new international students with their initial adjustment to McGill and Montreal. "Buddy" duties are flexible depend ing on the needs of the incoming students.

CAREER PEER EDUCATOR PROGRAM Participate in this great program! You love people and want to help your peers find the job of their dreams. In return, you will be trained to facilitate informal group workshops on effective work search strategies and assist in the planning and delivery of career forums. Think of the possibilities!

McGILL PHONE-A-THON Are you interested in helping students choose McGill? Then volunteer for the annual Recruitment Office’s Phone-A-Thon. The goal is to encourage individuals to accept McGill's offer of admission by calling potential students and congratulating them for being accepted to McGill. You will help answer any questions they may have about the University or refer them to the right places for answers. You will have the opportunity of talking with individuals who are interested in your area of study and who are poten tially from the same high school or area you grew up in! The Phone-A-Thon takes place in the evenings from 5 :0 0 -8 :0 0 on various days during April, May and June. If you have one or two evenings free, come chat with other students and enjoy dinner on us!

McGILL SUMMER SEND-OFF The McGill Summer Send-Off is a social event for new students coming to McGill, host ed by the McGill Alumni Association. The knowledge and experience of McGill students is invaluable to incoming students since you know the challenges, surprises and fun stuff going on at McGill and in Montreal. They are held all over the world - there is prob ably one in your home town! Most send-offs take place between the last two weeks of July and first two weeks of August, so if you like meeting new students and answering their questions, then let us know you'd like to be involved.

« T INVOLVED - THE REWARD! ARE MANY! JTUDENT fERVICE* - PROMOTINC miDENT «JKEW ! PLEASE PRINT

/ am interested in participating in the follow ing volunteer program (s): (Check as m any as your want!)

NAME: (Ms/Mr.)

(First Name)

(Last Name)

Discover McGill: Group Leader [

] an d /o r Logistical Staff [

Orientation Centre & Resource Room [ FACULTY:

ID NO:

YEAR:

First-Year Buddy Program [

]

International Buddy Program [

]

Career Peer Educator Program [

McGILL E-MAIL:

McGill Phone-A-Thon f

McGill Sum m er Send-Off [

PHONE N0(S).

PLEASE RETURN TO: OR BY MAIL TO:

)_ Montreal Home Phone

(2 ) (

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]

OTHER E-MAIL: (1) (

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gets you a campus yearbook

JOSTEN'S Canada are the o ffic ia l photographers fo r the Students' Society o f M c G ill University

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Iw ant m y te d d y b e a r! W h a t's a n d

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n o s ta lg ic BY LISETREUTLER

urled up in her pajamas under a fleece blanket, the honours Poli Sci student dips marshmallows into hot chocolate as she watches whatever Saturday morn ing cartoons she can find. Care Bears, she believes, deserves far wider syndi cation than Seinfeld—at least at this moment, dangerously close to a paper deadline. As luck would have it, her roommate can afford cable, so she doesn't have to suc cumb to the fate of an acquaintance in the same building, who saves his change in a secret jar to sheepishly fund his Disney DVD habit. To each his own—as Lou Reed, of Velvet Underground and solo recording fame, said, "I don't like nostalgia unless it's mine." Nostalgia: longing for the simple pleasures of childhood, the drama-less plot lines of colourful cartoons where adorable animals can talk to humans, and the warm mugs parents would make in anticipation of their children coming inside to defrost after a massive snowball fight. Though author Thomas Wolf tells us, "You can never go home again," emotionally-aching students search high and low for ways to at least re-create the homey feeling.

socialization begins. Our families brought us up into childhood, schools and friends into adolescence, and now we are raising ourselves as adults. Hom e is w here...?

Memories of home, however defined, are always static. You can close your eyes and remember what it felt like to be in your bedroom before falling asleep, knowing your family was close by. You know where you grew up, whether a metro ride away in Outremont or a flight—layover included—away in Australia. Some of us are here only temporarily, living for eight months of the year in Montreal as students and planning to head back to our hometowns after four years. Others have moved here permanently. Some of us rack up hundreds of dollars in long distance charges every month by staying in close touch with our parents; others may write the occasional letter. For some, tear-provoking Canada Post commercials are all it takes to pick up the phone and say, "Mum, I miss you." For others, nostalgia is bet ter revealed through their actions, be it in the way they decorate and cook or the goals they have for the future. And for the more drastically simple needs, My Little Pony is always available at Blockbuster.

Bringing ourselves up

In elementary school, stress was as serious a subject as it is now. But the stress Smells like warm chocolate brownies of first-graders revolves around the most effective methods to acquire the hottest toys Though pajama-clad cartoon marathons may be the easiest way to reenact your of the month and whether or not they're invited to their classmates' birthday parties. childhood, most psychological research on nostalgia has centred on the effects of As undergraduates, our stressors are radically different: papers, bills, boyfriends, girl scent memory. Researchers at the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation friends, jobs, and the ever present dilemma of what to do after graduation—and on in Chicago study the effects of scents on memory, moods, sexuality, and disease, some days, graduation sounds more like "if it happens" than "what next?" These stres among other areas. Neurological director Dr. Alan Hirsch recently carried out a ran sors, combined with this defining era in our lives, result in a retreat to nostalgia. We dom-sample survey of 1,000 participants on "olfactory-evoked recall," the ability of can long for a simpler life—no, not the televised Paris Hilton kind—all day long, but the brain to instantly bring up childhood memories based simply on particular scents; what makes this dreaming successful is how we act on it. As we are all surrounded freshly-baked goods made up the largest category of evocative smells. Such research by friends and coworkers who are thinking about graduate school, getting engaged, can also be a useful historical or sociological tool: Dr. Hirsch's results showed a clear becoming parents, finding their dream jobs, and moving across the country or across distinction between nostalgic scents for those born before 1930—more commonly the world, it's easy to feel lost in the light-speed movement, especially for those who associated with nature—and those born after, "reflecting increasing urbanization after have left the proverbial "nest." the '30s." Time and time again we hear parents bemoan how hard it is to "let go" of their Whether brought on by scent, sight, or comment, nostalgia consistently evokes children, but do we ever ask ourselves the same question? Have we, the newly inde the warm fuzzies inside, even if accompanied by a few tears and comforting hugs— pendent, "let go" of our childhood, our hometown, our upbringing? Think for a and that's why we love our memories. Nostalgic longings can only serve to bring us moment. Perhaps your grocery shopping has been more influenced by media slogans closer to the best memories of our pasts; perhaps they aid our understanding of why such as "Just as Mom used to make it!" for Campbell's soup than those prescribing the hell our parents did that, because we understand "raising" now as we practice it present or future dreams. Even if you are consciously refusing to live like your parents, upon ourselves. Wolf, in denying us our homes and pasts, does a great injustice. you may be nostalgic in your own way: the late French existentialist Albert Camus "Home" is not a tangible thing. Like every nostalgic action we take or memory we wrote, "Every act of rebellion expresses nostalgia for innocence and an appeal to the share to bring us closer to it, "home" is a feeling. Maya Angelou, renowned for her essence of being." comforting words, said it best: "You can never go home again, but the truth is you As we undergraduates are experiencing a great deal of life as neophytes—laun can never leave home, so it's all right." dry, the grocery store, accounts with Hydro Québec—and can't always speed-dial It's all right. You can hug your teddy until he can't breathe and imagine your old our experienced parents, nonplussed as we may be, the commencement of a new kitchen's smells when times are rough. The rest of us are doing it, too. ■

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o you say you're not quite ready to leave your childhood behind, though you are equally unwilling to let op on the R-rated debauchery? Whatever is a coed to do? While the responsibilities associated with la vie scholastique are damn exciting, not to mention freeing, some of us are left longing for a carefree existence reminiscent of our youth. It is easy to fall into the fuddy duddy rut of a serious academic; spending every waking hour at the library, free time knocking back coffee and Plato at the 24-hour Second Cup, and the occasion al moments of shut-eye. Equally popular, and just as boring, many students freshly lib erated from the confines of their Mississauga abode fall into the trap of nonstop par tying, sopping up every vodka tonic and venereal disease in sight, just because they can. Not to worry, because being grown up doesn't mean that you can't create inno cent fun or adolescent mischief, ir we tear ourselves away from the super obvious for a second and think outside the box, it's clear that there is a lot of amusement to be had by acting like the brat you used to be. But if pitting G.l. Joes against each other in a death match or taking Barbie out for a cruise in her convertible is a step too far Into the kindergarten demographic, there's always compromising with your inner child. Montreal offers plenty of activities which mix the best of kid-adult entertainment. So stop longing for the days of Osh-Koshs, quality Saturday morning cartoons, and sippy cups, and start living life like the 1 S-year-ola trapped inside the hot body of a twentysomething that you are. Cock V Bull (1944 rue Ste- Catherine O., 933-4556) is delightfully scummy. Though the cheap drinks are inevitably what draws in the crowds, the allure of this place is Arts and Crafts Night every Monday. Not only is finger painting a welcome change from the academic rigours of McGill, but if you're broke you can act like you put a lot of work into your "art* and distribute it to (riends and family as gifts, just as enjoyable are the glitter and yarn encrusted paper bag puppets, which can double as an annoying sidekick, irritating sibling, or imaginary friend. Bring your puppet to class, encourage him to ask questions, have him break up with your girl friend for you or call your landlord regarding your pending rent. It's a laugh and a half!

Also appealing to the crafty, though slightly more refined set, is Ceramic CaféStudio (4201 -B rue St-Denis, 848-1 1 19). Though it could be considered lame-we are, after all, talking soccer moms wiling away a Tuesday aft painting mugs—it can be very fun. You start by picking your piece—the bargain ashtray you never made your parents at summer camp, perhaps. Select a couple of paints, sketch out your design and let your creativity do the rest. Bonus: It's open late on weekends (until lam Friday and Saturday) so you can squeeze it in between dinner at L'Académie and drinks at Le Barouf. Check out www.caleceramicstudio.com for hours and pric ing. If we are discussing Friday night entertainment reflective of your pedomorphism, Sharx (1606 rue Ste- Catherine O . 934-3105) has to make an appearance. In all fairness, Sharx is more where your adult self meets your spoiled, hwanna-be-a-grownup-now preteen alter ego. Though it is technically an I 8-plus establishment, go on any given night after 9pm and you will witness hordes of skanky adolescent subur banites throwing fits because they can't wear their stilettos while bowling. And oh, the fun that is bowling at Sharx! If you don't get there early the lines are long. And it can get expensive, particularly if you vow to play until you're good or you keep hitting up the bar to gorge on nachos and pints of Sleeman's. Still, there is something about the black light, hideous shoes, and your first strike of the night that makes it all worthwhile. For the more academically minded the Montreal Science Centre (333 rue de la Commune O., 496-4724) offers an edutaming bang for your buck. Though the sci ence centre as a whole is somewhat lacking, it's newest exhibit, "Autopsy of a Murder," is insanely interesting. Think CSI without all the gore. The exhibit takes you from start to finish, walking you through the moments leading up to the murder of a fictitious character. It is then your job to consider all of the information, examine the evidence using ballistics, fingerprint, toxicology and voice analysis laboratories, and solve the crime by identifying the murderer. You can start the investigation early by perusing their interactive file on criminalistics which allows would-be forensic experts to bone up on the basics (www.centredessciencesdemontreal.com). The Biodome (4777 avenue Pierre de Coubertin, 868-3000) must be visited at least once during your stint in Montreal. There is something about exploring the dif ferent ecosystems in the dead of winter that borders on magical. Feel free to toss your bikini on underneath your parka and strip down once you hit the tropical pavilion. Visiting the polar ecosystem is reminiscent of the deep freeze known as winter in Montreal, the key difference being, well, not much. The Biodome is home to many plants and animals, including the hilariously entertaining penguins whose waddle transfixes all who gaze upon it. Also neat are the parrots, though a word to the wise: try as you might, it is very difficult to teach them dirty words. Students get in for $9, paltry considering the hours of juvenile entertainment to be had. If you have money in your wallet to burn, a car to borrow, and can hold off until spring, the Granby Zoo (www.zoogranhy.ca/én/index.cfm) is worth the 45minute drive. With more than 800 animals, including the popular Giant Flying Fox, the zoo features specimens from around the world, housing obscure and well-known creatures dike. Once summer hits, the Parc Aquatique Amazoo is the place to be, featuring Quebec's largest heated wave pool, a lazy river and for some strange rea son, bumper cars. For those who prefer not to swim in the company of live animals, the Centre Sportif at Parc Olympique offers up its extensive aquatic facility to the public (www.rio.gouv.qc.ca/pub/centre/centre_bain.jsp). It's a long journey out to metro Viau, but the $2.65 free swim (remember your student ID) is well worth it. There's sive floating noodle or whale-shaped flutterboard are significantly increase be prepared to share/fight with a toddler for them. A sure bet is "borrowing" a child to "babysit" and finagle your way into the kiddie pool (complete with mini-water slides and waterfalls). If you are one of those strange people who actually embraces winter, but you have friends who can't stand it, The Atrium (1000 rue de la Gauchetière O ., 3950555) is sure to please. If you haven't been to this huge, heated skating rink you are missing out. At $5.50 for entrance and $5 for skate rental, the Atrium is an afford able way to spend the afternoon. Make fun of the men in Spandex skating circles around their bored dates or practice your figure-eights and pirouettes. On Friday and Saturday nights, gaggles of teens and adults flock to the ice to shimmy and shake to the latest over-produced dance beats. So corny, so entertaining. Crabby because you're broke? Not a problem, think like a child and you'll soon be playing like one. Snow is cheap and often plentiful, throw it at people, then let them throw it at you. If the white stuff is lacking outdoors, then scrape the ice out of your freezer and chase after your roommate. You're defrosting and doing your cardio at the same time! Playgrounds are another source of glee. Bring a friend and see who can swing highest or go on your own and be the creepy loner who bogarts the slide. Sleepovers, board games, truth or dare, downloaded episodes of Saved by the Bell—there are plenty of things to do, whether you have money or not, that will bring back fond memories of your childhood, Just be creative. The world is your oys ter, baby ■

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Sum Sushi 1360 boul. René-Lévesque O., phone: 935-7462. Looking to eat quality sushi on your lunch breaks? The best place I've found so far is Sum Sushi. Located in the CGI building food court on RenéLévesque, Sum Sushi has an unbelievable selection of food. Instead of sav ing your coins for months on end to afford sushi at an expensive Japanese restaurant, you can go to Sum Sushi for lunch as often as you like. Choose from a considerable selection of soups, noodles, appetizers, chicken, beef, and especially sushi for amazing prices. For $7.95, I had a lunch that consisted of teriyaki chicken with rice, chicken dumplings, salad, and potatoes. Sounds like enough, but not so with this considerable variety. I had to go back and try the Tom Yum soup with noodles... Remember, this is on top of all the sushi they offer. Take a break between classes and please your stomach with some thing healthy for lunch. —Resham Popat

Sakura—the name even sounds delicious—should not be missed. 21 14 rue de la AAontagne, phone: 288-9122. For starters, Sakura has great, moderately-priced weekday lunch specials, a treat for students. Sip on the roasted sen-cha Japanese green tea while alternating between your tasty miso soup and munching on your sesame-dressed salad. After the main course of your choice, be sure to sample their desserts: delicious green tea cheesecake, light mango mousse, or traditional dorayaki, a sweet bean cake. Other must-haves include katsudon, a Japanese breadcrumb-covered, deep-fried pork cutlet topped with onions and simmered in a mirin sweet sauce, complemented by an egg over a bed of Japanese rice, or agedashi tofu, tempura tofu with bonito fish flakes marinated in a delicious sauce While dining, relax with the patient, friendly service. Waiters are guaranteed to impress with trilingual abilities in Japanese, French, and English. Not only can Sakura be your next date spot where you can share a "loveboat" spe cial filled with nigiri, sashimi, maki rolls and yakitori or enjoy a piping hot shabu-shabu fondue of a flavourful fish stock, but if you're in a chill mood, Sakura welcomes you to relax with Asahi beer or hot sake in their Tatami room while catching up with friends. Feeling a little type-A today? Squeeze into Sakura express—located below the restaurant—for a heavenly takeout lunch that won't break the bank —Jacqueline Leung

Bombay Palace 2201 rue SteCatherine O., phone: 932-7141. Having been a frequent Bombay Palace diner for quite some time, I can state with complete confidence that the trip is worthwhile. The buffet, an Indian dining favourite, is fantastic. But if that tradition is not one of your favourites, the menu has a wide selection of set plates for comparably cheap prices. For the $8.95 lunch special, enjoy a selection of pakoras (potato fritters), rice, naan, curry—where the butter chicken is delicious— and even dessert. Bombay Palace is famous for their unique pickled turnips—while you're enjoying the warm ambience, complete with Indian paintings and traditional music, give them a try. Fear not if you have questions, as the service is stellar and the waiters, especially a cheerful British lad named Sammy, are extremely friendly. End your meal the authentic way with a handful of traditional crunchy candy, famous for its digestive abilities and also quite delicious. —Resham Popat

Cosmos Snack Bar 5843 rue Sherbrooke O., phone: 486-38 14. Don't let the name or the tiny room of 11 seats fool you—this place is the king of breakfast joints. Just a bus ride away from the comfy familiarity of Chez Cora, Tony Koulakis's Montreal institution has been considered a "greasy shovel." Though originally only a hot spot for N.D.G.-ers, Cosmos has recently been attracting lines of eager diners from all over Montreal that make Place Milton's look like a mere bathroom queue. Its fame has extended beyond word-of-fork-to-mouth after being featured in the documentary Man of Grease. Whether it's the charismatic, outspoken, and ciga rette-smoking Greek tending the grill or one of his similarly entertaining family members taking your order, Cosmos serves up the perfect hangover cure of greasy petit déje uner all day in a friendly, genuine atmosphere. The real attraction is definitively the "Mish-Mash," a 4-egg, bacon, sausage, ham, salami, tomato, onion, and cheese omelette. Ringing in at exactly 2,000 calories, the concoc tion was best described as a "test of manhood" by a long time patron, though all that comes to mind while scarfing it down—and enjoying every bite—is cholesterol test. —Dave Barber

Casa De Matteo 440 rue St-François-Xavier, phone: 844-7448. Nestled on a narrow, scenic street in the heart of Old Montreal, Casa De Matteo serves up authentic Mexican food, as well as some of the best frozen drinks I've ever had. The restaurants festive atmosphere remains classy, yet suitable for bringing a fairly large group of noisy friends. Meals start out with a delicious basket of fresh tortilla chips and homemade salsa—this gives a new meaning to the Lay's slogan, "Betcha can't eat just one!" To complement your nachos, peruse the large selection of appetizers, including fresh guacamole prepared right at your table. Entrees include standard Mexican fare, with rotating specials, while desserts range from sorbet, to banana flambé topped with ice cream— again, prepared right in front of you. On weekends, the restaurant is buzzing with excitement and margaritas as a quartet of traditionallydressed mariachis cruise the restaurant, ser enading different groups of customers. With tax, tip, and a large frozen margarita, you can expect to pay around $30-35 per person, so start saving up your beer money or wait until the rents come to town to check this place out. ^ —Scoff Sameroff Sakura Gardens

BENJI FELDMAN HANDS

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M c G ill fa s h io n

r e p lic a tio n JULIE PETERS

arning. McGill —no, worse than that, Montreal—has been invaded. Someone should call the fashion police, as we've been hit with a hurricane of fur-lined jackets and calf-high fuzzy boots. At the risk of offending absolutely everyone at McGill, I must admit that these über-trendy garments are really, really pissing me off. I see them everywhere I go: not just around campus, nor just hanging off the back of every uncomfortable McGill auditorium seat occupied in my classes, but throughout the originality-deficient populace of the females-under-30 set. Actually, that's unfair. Older women are also afflicted; so are men, for that matter. Even Americans! Sitting on the metro the other day, I counted eight of these warm and fuzzy coats—without the need to turn my head. This is now classified as a Serious Problem. This "fashion" combination is often, malheureuse ment, matched with those awful Juicy sweatpants that went out of style last year. This outfit epitomizes McGill fashion. Girls at McGill come to the fashion mecca that is Montreal, often from the typically—but not exclusive ly-boring Canadian style cesspools of small towns in

northern Ontario. No wonder. Suddenly, effort is required to compete with all the hot ladies for which Montreal is so well known. How to achieve a comparable assertion of "chic" with the minimal amount of effort, while staying warm in frigid weather, and theoretically needing the extra time to study at the library? Fashion Band Aid: those damn fur-lined hooded jackets, Juicy sweatpants, and calf-high boots. The McGill uniform. Don't get me wrong, the jackets do look great. They can be warm as well as sexy, they're not too puffy, they're waterproof, and that great little line of fur around the hood keeps the snow out of your eyes in a storm. The boots are also quite practical: they keep your hems out of the slush and give your calves a nice, warm winter hug as you brave the cold on the way to the library. The clothes are just great—a perfect mix of practicality and style for the student's winter in Montreal. The problem? Everyone has them. Even the guys are sporting the things! Even my moth er has one! You know it's bad when my mother and my brother are wearing the same coat, and thus I refuse to buy it. (No disrespect intended to those unfortunate few

who caught onto the trend before it became the tool of the masses and are now stuck sporting the same garb as everyone else all winter.) The beauty of fashion is that it is cutting edge. It's fun. Especially right now, a lot of the styles are original and kind of ironically funny, allowing one to wear striped socks with heels, arm warmers, and those fantastic fedo ras—all at once if you can really pull it off. Fashion is the poetry of the clothing world. It's not utilitarian; it's solely for the pleasure of the wearer and the viewer. But seeing those eight jackets on the metro car is like reading the same word in a poem over and over. It's like when a CD skips. Or when you download the trick songs that repeat the chorus ad nauseum in an attempt to discourage ille gal music-sharing. In other words, it's really bloody annoying. Wool is good, too, people. The fur is going to go out of style in five minutes, and let's not mention the cruel ty it implies. We're creative and intelligent McGillians, we must be able to find some other way to wear a coat. Any other way. How long until spring again? ■

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y o u r jp fe a s u r e ... L'Académie 4501 rue St-Denis, phone: 849-2249. It's only natural to be a tad skeptical standing outside of L'Académie. The restaurant's three floors tower over St-Denis, leaving the small French bistros that line the street looking like holes in the wall. Nevertheless, the quality greatly surpasses the price and the "bring your own wine" factor makes L'Académie perfect for students on a tight budget. The vast menu pleases gourmets and picky eaters alike, covering both French and Italian classics. The steaks are the most expensive items on the menu and yet are all under $23. The most diffi cult task of all is selecting a meal from the huge choice of pas tas, though none will ever disappoint. For $10, one can choose from favourites such as penne in a rose sauce to soft gnocchi floating in a gorgonzola cream sauce. Before you leave, be sure to check out the dessert tray, as it's fun to drool over even if the big portions make something sweet impossi JULIASHONFIELD ble. Then again, there's always sharing... —Samantha Fuss

Spirite Lounge 1205 rue Ontario, phone: 522-5353 If you’re one to cry when different vegetables shock!—touch each other on your plate, stay away from Spirite Lounge. There are rules at this vegan establishment, and only prospective patrons who agree to follow them will be invited insiae. Diners must vow to eat all of the food they order, leaving nothing behind on the plate. Cellphone use is forbidden in the eclecticallyfaecorated dining area. Last, there are no menus, because there is no choice of dish. You can decide, however, on portion size—considering the first rule of the Lounge, this is a true blessing. Green tea is provided free of charge at the beginning of the meal. The student price for the soup and main dish, centred on a dinner crepe, is $ 1 1.95. Dessert costs an addi tional $ 5 , but take heed: our waiter warned against ordering the cake if we could not finish it, threatening that "gluttonous" behaviour results in being "barred” from Spirite Lounge for life." Dispelling the myth that vegan food is bland, the filling meal throws together an extensive list of vegetables, from the standard eggplant to others I'd never heard of. Since this restaurant takes away control of the dining experience, you II be forced to try a new dish. Grab some open-minded friends, ditch the usual spots, and enjoy a leisurely meal at Spirite Lounge. But please arrive hungry\ —Lisa Varano

Dunns Famous Steakhouse Delicatessen 1249 rue Metcalfe, phone: 395-1927 Dunns has been a Montreal tradition since 1927. While many other establishments of the same variety have maintained a strict deli menu since the beginning of time— i.e., Schwartzs and Bens—Dunns has one of the most exten sive menus of all the beloved delis in this city. Apart from the peerless chopped liver, coleslaw, smoked meat, and the rest of the usual fare, Dunns offers a variety of equally delectable soups, pastas, and appetizers. Everything off the grill here is first class—above average steaks and ribs and the burgers lay the smack down on Mr. Steer any day. Other small pleas ures at Dunns include some of the best nachos in the city, a selection of ravishing cakes, and the unusual, but delicious, smoked meat egg rolls. Open 'round the clock, Dunns is the perfect place for an evening out or a post-movie snack. You're always welcome, long after most of the other joints around have long since closed. The atmosphere is great, boasting comic strip and monopoly board tables, friendly service, and a quality music selection. Most meals are just over $ 10 after taxes and guar anteed to leave you fully satiated. —Ben Lemieux

GRACIAJALEA Juliette & Chocolat 1615 rue St-Denis, phone: 287-3555 Juliette & Chocolat: sounds romantic, right? A trusted friend told me once I'd sampled the desserts, I would know the true meaning of love. Close to Berri-UQÂM metro, Juliette & Chocolat is a place for connoisseurs of—you guessed it—chocolate. Whether you prefer bitter, semi-sweet, milk, or white choco late, there is a dessert on the menu to suit you. Although chocolate is not the only thing to offer, as there are plenty of savory crepes to choose from, the fondue is the ultimate choice—share a simmering, generous helping of the melted chocolate of your choice surrounded by fresh fruit, perfectly sliced for dipping and munching. You're always welcome to ask for only your favourite fruits; my recommendation is always just strawberries and bananas. Another favourite is the "Fondant au Chocolat." It comes in two sizes: one for sharing with a lover—of chocolate, that is—and one to enjoy all on your own on a gloomy grey Sunday. Either way, you're guaranteed the best-tasting dessert, but like all highs, it's sadly short-lived, and you'll spend quite some time pondering whether you should order another. Prices, around $8 for a dessert and drink, are reason able, and the warm, inviting ambience will tempt you to spend an afternoon with Juliette & Chocolat, catching up on readings with a bitter espresso, accompanied, of course, by a side of chocolate edibles. Remember, chocolate melts at body temperature, so don't put it in your pocket to save for later. —Serene Tourna Pino's 1471 rue Crescent, phone 289-1930 Pino's, like the immaculate Italian restaurants in films, is the perfect place for occasions with friends or special dates. Though reasonably priced, with pastas and pizzas ranging from $10-15 and more expensive three-course meals in the $20-30 range, the hospitable waiters and warm lighting give the feeling you should be paying a lot more. The food is just what you'd expect from an Italian restau rant, with deliciously filling portions. The duck is especially succulent. The atmosphere is quiet and inviting. Customers of all ages will feel welcome and comfortable, especially if their preference lies in a more than casual setting. It's a trendy restaurant that still passes for classic. The location, however, is a bit of a mixed bag. Crescent is close enough to McGill that anyone living in the Ghetto could easily make the walk—and for everyone else, the GuyConcordia metro is around the corner. However, it seems as though Pino's would be better situated somewhere on rue StDenis, in the beloved "bring your own wine" part of the city. The Concordia Ghetto is dirty and loud at night—perfect for bar-hopping, but not for fine dining. Nevertheless, that is a small complaint against what is otherwise a fantastic experience. A great restaurant is always a handy excuse to ask that special someone if she's busy next Friday. —Dany Horovitz

REVIEWS CD. What Are Yr Colours Now by More Plastic Bands love claiming that they have "a wide range of influences" or an "eclectic" sound. It makes them seem just so worldly and interesting—at least until some one listens to the album and discovers that what they mean is that they used a viola on the last track. Not so with More Plastic. The five songs on their new EP actually sound like they were written by five dif ferent bands. The only common threads are a trippy new brand of interesting guitar work, and the fact that they're all fantastic. The opening track tricks listeners with deceptively straightforward-sounding rock, before the next ones careen through pale blue acid dreams, old-school metal confusing itself with jazz, intriguing indie rock hanging out with Buddy Holly's ghost, and finally a strange and lovely guitar noodle about crocodiles. If you can't figure out how these descriptions make sense, don't worry—they shouldn't. But if you listen to What Are Yr Colours Now, they will. The stand out track, "Heaven or Low Tide, combines soft vocals with distracted scraps of guitar'and a steady drum heartbeat, but that only begins to describe it. Each song twists down unexpected paths, odd and confusingly cohesive. It's like someone accidentally dropped his record collection into a blender. They sound like everyone and no one. This album is amazing. —Melissa Price CD. Florida by Diplo North Philadelphia-based Diplo brings new life to the instrumental hip hop genre. Florida critically identi fies what DJ Shadow did with his Entroducing in 1996, builds on the growing genre and mixes in more exper imental paces and rhythms. The Mississippi-born Diplo places a great deal of creativity Over technology in his work, playing on themes and giving us a hint of the Miami club scene in "Diplo Rhythm," which features cameos by Sandra Melody, Vybz Cartel, and Pantera Os Danadinhos. P.E.A.C.E. also appears to provide fast freestyle lines on the track "Indian Thick Jawns," which skillfully integrates an Indoorchestral backdrop. "Sarah" and "Works" fit nicely between the sounds of UNKLE and DJ Krush with flouting piano, synths, and reflexive percussions. Even included are a few samples from famous philosophers—when was the last time you imagined a hip hop artist channelling Plato? The last notable piece, "Into the Sun," despite an awkward flute sam ple, offers well-constructed reverse beats and relaxed female vocals. At times Florida plays on previously discovered rhythms, yet fans of instrumental hip hop will embrace those moments as tributes and this LP as exceptional. —Devin Montgomery CD. Funeral by The Arcade Fire Recorded in the midst of three funerals and a mar riage between band member's Win Butler—who grad uated from McGill last year—and Regine Chassagne, the Arcade Fire's debut album is a masterpiece of sym phonic indie rock. This Funeral has offerings both beau tiful and bittersweet. The quirky, introspective songs are filled with emotional depth and haunting lyrics that bril liantly capture the loneness, loss, and love that forged this acclaimed album. Although almost every song on this album is excellent and unique, "Crown of Love" and "Neighborhood #1 (tunnels)" are the most breathtak ing. "Crown of Love" starts out as a slow, drawn-out pop ballad that plays Butler's powerful, dynamic voice against dark violin notes, and steadily builds momentum until it explodes into a blissful, driving techno-like beat. "Neighborhood#! (tunnels)" features tiptoeing piano keys, church choir hymns, and raw distorted guitar riffs that provide the backdrop for wailing, distressed vocals which eventually deteriorate into painful howls by the end of the song. Captured is the internal turmoil of a bereaved friend struggling to deliver a eulogy. After just a single listen, it's a no-brainer why this album is on just about every North American music critic's "best of" list for 2004. The Arcade Fire delivers a breath of fresh air to deserving listeners, and it's recommended that you become one. i —Scott Sameroff

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P i n o c c h i o '. CHEERLEADERCHRONICLES

DANIEL CHODOS & LISE TREUTLER

masturbation. troupe overhauled Carlo Collodi's classic children's fable, Yes, it's serious stuff. But don't worry, Kabarett keeps the audi Pinocchio, turning it into a raunchy, adults-only social commentary. T he Centaur Theatre never fails to deliver. Right now, they are in ence in stitches throughout. The highlight of the one-hour sketch com Stewart Matthews and Justin Passant-Sage, the stars and writers of the midst of their eighth annual Wildside Festival, an English- edy comes near the end, with a biting, witty repartee about the show, picked apart the original script, creating an original new language event that promises to bring cutting-edge works from America's ethnocentric attitude. A foreign cheerleader warns a version of the classic tale that saw the poor wooden doll-cum-boy— the fringes of theatre to the main stage. This year, they continue to Middle Eastern woman that a building, within sight, is about to be represented by the aforementioned bear—nearly drowned, physi surpass their goals with a roster of five plays from Canada, Great bombed. The response: "Oh, I believe you, but it's just that it hap cally abused, and eventually sodomized. Disney must be proud! Despite an impressive array of rhymes and pop cultural refer Britain, and New Zealand. Our home country delivers with pens here every day, though the world only notices if it happens ences, I found myself lost in a mist of disjointed storylines and need Kabarett: A Cheericali, Caketown, and Solus, while British humour once in the States." Cheering the strongest throughout are Lissa Hostland and less vulgarity. Though I can appreciate the clever irony of telling a makes an appearance in the adults-only Pinocchio and the Kiwi Rebecca Singh, who both show the most energy and talent, as well children's story with an X-rated plot, all the while using children's Filler Up! will surely delight after acclaimed runs in Europe and the as the cheerleading requisite of having a good time. The other three voices and wearing undersized pajamas, the play hardly served as US. To whet your appetite for innovative theatre, we bring you a women don't fall too far behind, though by taking cues from the a convincing allegory for a world "where children exist for adult's shining stars of the troupe, the Montreal All-Star Cheerleaders could joys," the play's sinister tagline. The actors' deviations between sampling of two very different productions. become one of the most talked-about acts in town. characters seemed awkward at times, serving as more of a distrac Periodically, you're left perplexed, but soon enough you'll be tion from the actual narrative than as a humorous storytelling device. Kabarett: A Cheerical! howling again. Despite a few rough spots—easily fixable— This effort was surprising, as shows at the Centaur Theatre nor What's up with cheerleaders these days? Long gone are the Kabarett is not one Wildside sight to miss. Catch the AAASC this mally provide high quality entertainment. I would anticipate that the traditions of simple rhymes, routines limited to spelling out words week at the Centaur Theatre Friday at 9pm. performance will improve as the Wildside Festival draws on, as the with body parts, and the exclusive membership card given only to Five girls in short skirts and a cross-dressing guy... you heard actors adjust to a slightly older and more mature audience than the blondes. And wait—they think enough to put together a satirically me. Now get yourself a ticket! off-kilter fringe crowds to which they are accustomed. Nevertheless, political "cheerical?" kudos to Screwed & Clued for thinking outside the box and putting Witnessing the Montreal All-Star Cheerleaders puts to rest any together a show that attempts to deliver an important social mes Pinocchio doubts about cheer-tegrity. Kabarett: A Cheericali, one of the What do you get when you combine a stuffed brown bear, sage. Wildeside Festival's five features, is a madcap variety show starring five talented young women, the Cheerleaders. Along with a brilliant two 30-something British character actors, and a stage adorned The Wildside Festival continues at the Centaur Theatre through lone male (Paul Van Dyck), the Cheerleaders have written and pro only by a plain white sheet hanging from the rafters? The answer: Saturday. Visit www.centaurtheatre.com for show times and various duced a timely commentary on topics ranging from Canada's a minimalist play with lots of promise but lacking in substance. Veterans of the fringe circuit, the Screwed & Clued theatre ticket prices and packages. ■ image in world politics, weapons of mass destruction, and public

JPEX

g ra c e s

M o n tre a l s c re e n s J a p a n e s e film s e x p l o r e d iv e r s e r a n g e o f t h e m e s , s ty le s CELIA D'ANDREA

F !rom January 7 to January 9, Montrealers were treated to "JPEX: Japanese Experimental Film and Video, 1955-Now." Playing at Concordia University's de Sève Cinema and sponsored by McGill's Department of East Asian Studies and Concordia's Mel Hoppenheim School of Cinema, JPEX featured three nights of rarely seen Japanese experimental films. In fact, it included the largest col lection of such films in North America in 20 years. Cocurators Jonathan M. Hall and Michelle Puetz brought the feature to BERKELEY.EDU Montreal—its only Canadian screening—after the show sold out at I feel pretty, oh so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty, and briiiiiiiight! venues in New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago. Japanese experimental films are the propelling force behind the styles and directions of postwar Japanese animé and independent This film actually inspired Stereolab's 1996 album of the same title. Benighted But Not Begun. This film looked at the lives of a young "Sex Underground" featured 13 films from approximately three couple, in which a man physically and emotionally abuses his girl film. JPEX's program featured everything from cult favourites to rarely seen classics. There was a great variety in the styles of films, includ to 25 minutes each. The themes explored ranged from gender roles friend. Although the piece does not contain much dialogue, mere ing flicker film, feature-length narrative films, and psychedelic anima and norms in the more dated pieces, to sex and homosexuality in sound became an extremely effective medium, truly showcasing the tion, showing the variety of movements that Japanese experimental the more recent ones. Each film had a very different way of express power the man has over his significant other. Toshio Matsumoto's For film has seen in its 5Gyear history. The showings were divided into ing the themes of sex and gender. Some, like Idemitsu Mako's Inner- my Crushed Right Eye was a fitting close to the evening. Shown in three nights, featuring three different themes. Friday's program, enti Man, took a more lighthearted approach to the topics, making the triple-screen projection, the film was visually stimulating. It explored tled "Sex Underground," showcased films involving eruptive eroti viewer laugh at its portrayal of men and women, while others, like sexuality in the context of movement and fantasy. What made this cism. SaitoYukie's Benighted but Not Begun, maintained a darker tone. film appealing was the pop culture-inspired music that played in the Of the entire series, some films stood out more than others. Ito background, pairing rarely seen visuals with music popularly A more politicallydriven program was shown on Saturday, enti tled "Exploded States: War, Politics and National Identity." Finally, Takashi's Apparatus M, although silent and filmed in black and heard—such as songs from The Suprêmes and the Rolling Stones. Sunday's program, "Expanded Visions," showcased animation and white, was probably one of the more powerful instalments. In just six JPEX was a unique film experience because it was interactive pop-inspired psychedelia. For fans of Japanese experimental films, minutes, it showcased a male Marilyn Monroe re-enacting the infa Each filming was followed by a roundtable discussion or Q&A ses a highlight was Sunday's showing of the rarely screened avant- mous dress scene from The Seven Year Itch, and therefore challeng sion with Hall and Puetz and Montreal film writer/Concordia schol garde cult classic Emperor Tomato Ketchup (1970) by Terayama ing the stereotype of the ultra-feminized sex symbol status of icons ar Tom Waugh. Overall, JPEX was certainly a treat for the Montreal Shuji about a group of children's bloody revolution against adults. like Monroe. As previously mentioned, an interesting film was Yukie's film scene. ■

th e mcgill tribune j 18.1.05 | a&e 1 9

P RE VI EWS

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MUSIC. Matisyahu —Cabaret—2111 boul. StLaurent—January 18. "Hasidic Reggae Superstar" is certainly not a tradi tional tagline in any domain. However, for Jewish artist Matisyahu Miller, tradition is a major part of the show, as it is in the religion he advocates and celebrates in his music. Fortunately, in a musical genre (reggae) that can be fraught with anti-gay lyrics from hard-line Jamaican artists like Beenie Man, Matisyahu's approach is much more peaceful. Influenced by Bob Marley and Phish, Matisyahu at once evokes the sound of a cantor and a rapper, as he threads through expectations, creating something raw and origi nal. Call 526-4000 for tickets.

h ip

yg FESTIVAL. Fêtes des Neiges de Montréal —lle-Stej S Hélène (metro Jean-Drapeau)—January 22-February 6. jÉ Ê t Over the next three weekends, we have an opportunity to stop complaining about blustery winter days, and start enjoying them. The 23rd Annual Fêtes des Neiges de H Montréal on Ile-Ste-Hélène offers dozens of attractions all f l H over the sizeable park originally constructed for Expo '67. Included in the events is a 1.5-km skating path that pro vides a breathtaking view of downtown Montreal, live ice sculpting, tube slides, dog sled runs, horse-and-buggy rides, and much more. Don't let anyone tell you thus stuff is for kids. Visit the Web site at www.fetedesneiges.com for more infor mation about the history of the festival and schedules.

ta b le s

h o p METANCITY.COM

UKHH.COM beats. Logic recognized J-Zone's producing ability and was very happy to hook up with him; he released some of his latest tracks. "The Ugly Truth" is a perfect example of his lyri T his Wednesday at Foufounes Électriques, Under cal style: he explores society's tendency toward stereotyp Pressure, Sofa King Raw, and Ripper are presenting a ing blacks, gays,'Asians, and others, only to reveal to the hip hop show featuring two of the best underground listener at the end of the track that he has been narrating rappers, J-Zone and Louis Logic. For all the hip hop heads, from George W. Bush's perspective. The show will also include Halifax-born DJ Skratch lyricists, and deejays in Montreal, this will be one of the Bastid who recently moved out to Montreal, serving as res best shows of the year. J-Zone, who hails from Queens, New York, once ident deejay at Foufounes. Bastid opened up the Nas show worked with Slick Rick's longtime deejay, Vance Wright. in Montreal and was on fire. His second place finish in the During this time, he developed his own style by producing, 2001 international underground turntablism competition in rapping, and deejaying. It's no wonder his work with Al- Cincinnati allowed him to join the "1200 Hobos crew, Shid and Huggy Bear from Old Maide Billionaires was so consisting of phenomenal deejays, like Mr. Dibbs, DJ acclaimed. J-Zone also created tracks for Biz Markie, Signify, DJ Abilities, JEL, and Sixtoo. Bastid adds a new spin Masta Ace, and Celph Titled, and collaborated with Louis to hip hop by emphasizing the importance of the deejay throughout a hip hop track, with a highly innovative style of Logic of the Demigods. Logic undoubtedly brings some flavour to the micro looping, cutting, and most importantly, scratching the beat. Foufounes never fails to throw great hip hop shows. phone. This emcee, who has often been compared to Eminem for his highly controversial and skilled lyrical style, The venue is big enough to host an excellent concert while has grounded himself in the hip hop scene ever since he maintaining the atmosphere of an intimate local show. worked with artists like Jedi Mind Tricks. Having released Tickets on Wednesday cost $8 in^advance and $10 at his latest album Sin-A-Matic featuring "Celph Titled," his music features a combination of tight rhymes over solid the door. Call 844-5539 to reserve your spot. ■

CATHERINE LEMERY

O n e

w o m a n 's

fa s c in a tio n

w ith

t h e

e v e r y d a y

E x p e r i e n c e t h e b e a u t y o f M o v in g w it h o u t tr a v e llin g fa r JULIA RAPONI lighting or flattering shots, because as the artist herself point ed out, an audience knows when it's being tricked. As if to hat is your experience of moving?" asks the exhib W it brochure—a lofty question indeed. Artist and complete the artist's fascination with observation, a camera Concordia graduate Heeseung Ko answers her was set up at the back of the room to take in the audiences question with Moving, a mixed-media installation at the unscripted reactions. The content of the exhibit will be familiar to almost Montréal arts interculturels. She focuses on both the mun dane and the extreme movements of a person's life, from everyone. Who hasn't had the unnerving experience of try moving between apartments to the final move after death to ing to fit one's entire life into boxes? The choice of medium one's final resting place. The exhibits themselves present was curious at first, given Ko's extensive background in ideas of moving, and what is commonly associated with it, sculpture. The reasoning behind her choice lies in her pref such as the stack of boxes simply labeled "Where 2 go?" erence for all things three-dimensional, and while sculptures and the outline of a person's face filled in with packing certainly fit that description, they don't move and therefore tape, suggesting that our lives are entirely defined by our don't produce the full 3D-effect. Hers is a time-based media, which she sees as fitting for a timebased life. Ko movements. The video pieces, displayed on large, white back also seeks to portray what is real: real subjects, real situa drops around the room, provide a summary of Kos obser tions. Ko's work proves that visual art is nowhere near limit vations on what it is to move. One display shows a mon ed to remaining stationary in a museum. An experience of tage of the artists daily interactions, from taking a shower to shopping on the street. Another shows various interviews Moving will certainly guide you to see the art in everyday with friends—some recognizable at the exhibit's opening— life. with the subjects discussing the ongoing dilemmas of look The MAI is located at 3680 rue Jeanne-Mance. For ing for new roommates and eventually deciding that one has moved around enough in this lifetime. The clips are more information on Moving Iwhich runs until February 121 both earnest and unforgiving—there's no room for high-tech or upcoming events, call 982.1812. ■

DANCE. Casatierra: a danse danza dance by Héloïse Rémy—Montreal arts interculturels theatre3680 rue Jeanne-Mance—January 20-29. Casatierra is the name Heloise Remy gives for her cross-cultural dance exploration, beginning this week at the AMI Theatre. As part of the series, Remy holds public rehearsals and creative workshops, in which the viewer gets to spontaneously interact with her, symbolic of cross ing boundaries between different peoples and cultures. Originally created in Quito, Ecuador, the show continues to evolve as audience members add their interpretation to this humanistic dance piece. Join a public rehearsal on January 25 at 5290 rue Côte-des-Neiges, or become part of the show at the AMI. Call 982-1 81 2 for tickets or details. THEATRE. Caketown—Centaur Theatre—453 rue St-Francois-Xavier—January 19, 20, 22. Described by its writer and performer as "creepy and clueless," Caketown introduces a cast of characters that redefine paranoia in their own image. As part of Centaur's Wilaside Festival, Darcy Bruce puts on this oneman show, adapting to the roles of multiple colourful players, each of whom has their own unique neuroses. As Bruce is taking his satirical theatrical effort on the road, audiences in various cities have reacted in a number of ways, mostly with confused laughs. If you thought your old neighbourhood was weirder than any out there, take comfort by seeing this show. Call 281-3161 for tickets. FILM. Bad Education—Cinéma du Parc—3575 ave. du Parc—plays until February 3. Pedro Almodovar's new film explores the vulnerabili ty of a child in the face of inhumanity and devastation, leading to critical acclaim for its acting, script, beautiful scenery shots, and delightful soundtrack accompaniment. Bad Education takes place in early 1980s Spain, jumping backwards and forwards through the narrative, using flashbacks, film within film, and other devices to bring the story together. Visit cinemaduparc.com for information about this and other films playing this month.

CREDITS: HASIDICREGGAE.COM; FETEDESNEIGES.COM; DFDANSE.COM; MONTREALMIRROR.COM; MOVIES.YAHOO.COM

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BASKETBALL

- Bishop's

76,

Re d m e n 6 6

R edm en boxed

o u t b y B i s h o p 's

Gaiters overpower McGill in the paint for win help side and caused us a lot of problems. Nonetheless, I think the kids played their hearts The McGill Redmen basketball team can be out." The play was back and forth all game, with hard to watch at times. No, not because it's a bad team; rather, it's just the opposite. This is a both teams trading baskets throughout. But though team that plays with high intensity, has equal parts McGill showed good teamwork offensively, espe talent and heart, and leaves it all on the floor. The cially when passing in the paint, they were source of frustration comes from the fact that after unable to get a defensive stop when needed in watching a team play hard for 40 minutes, it's a the second half. "I think our big problem is that we are inca heartbreaker when you see them lose. As you may well have guessed, things didn't pable of putting together 40 minutes of intense work in favour of the Red 'n' White Saturday night basketball and that's we're going to focus on in at Love Competition Hall, as the Redmen practice," said Norman. McGill point guard Denburk Reid, who led dropped a hotly contested game to the Bishop's the team with 18 points, concurred. Gaiters 76-66. "We just didn't execute defensively," he The 10-point deficit does not do the team jus tice, though. The game was neck-and-neck said. Our energy drained and we were watching throughout, with the score tied 28-28 at the half. the game go by rather than taking charge. But At no point did it seem as though the Redmen we'll stick to it. I'll think well be [in the playoffs]." A key factor in Bishop's leaving with the win were on the ropes. In fact, the Gaiters earned their win in one-point increments in the second was their ability to get to, and excel from, the free half, slowly eking ahead of the Redmen without a throw line. McGill got in foul trouble early, while failing to earn a single foul shot of its own in the dramatic run. "We fought hard, we went all out," said first half. In fact, McGill would not shoot a free Derek Armstrong, who put up 17 points on the throw until there were only eight minutes left in the night. "There were times when the other team game, yet another signal that the Red 'n' White picked up their intensity and sometimes we didn't could not control the key. Bishop's, meanwhile, meet that intensity. We have got to raise our team went to the foul line 31 times, making 23 shots, compared to McGill's seven of 10. But Reid was to another level." McGill has been outsized under the basket convinced there was another explanation for the often this season, and this game was no excep discrepancy, and it involved the men with whis tion. At times, the Redmen seemed to have diffi tles. "It was a tough game, an important game, culty controlling the paint defensively against the Gaiters' 6'7" All-Canadian centre Jeff Szita, a but it's not the end," said Reid. "If we talk about stark contrast to the previous matchup between [officiating], it's not excuses, but it's a fact. Look at these teams, when McGill held Szita to nine the stat sheet, 31 foul shots to 10. Little touch fouls points in a 58-54 win on January 8. McGill's versus banging. Especially when you think you help-side defence was counteracted by the have home court advantage. I definitely feel fhat Gaiters after the half, when they were unable to we have no home court advantage." The loss puts McGill behind Bishop's in the stop the Bishop's back-door pass. "It was a tough game, very physical," said Quebec University Basketball League standings, McGill Head Coach Craig Norman. "I thought and makes their task of securing a playoff spot all Szita wore us down. I think they made some the more difficult. But the team remains optimistic. "We will bounce back," assured Norman. ■ good adjustments at the half. They took away our THOMAS PAGUARULQ

THE

RED

ZONE

w a ke u p

cGill students are constantly accused of apathy, but the 1 8,000 undergraduates at this institution were far from indifferent when it came to providing relief from the devastating tsunami that hit Asia and Africa on December 26. Student groups sprung into action to collect money to be distrib uted to worthy charities, and ordinary students responded to their pleas. But while Principal Heather Munroe-Blum made a speech at a memorial service and commended students for their fundraising work, McGill made no plans to contribute money of its own. Granted, the university is facing dire straits financially, but surely it is well enough off to donate something. The amount wouldn't have to be anything near the $ 1-million that the University of British Columbia agreed to give, although that insti tution is a model of the highest level of generosity. Even some thing as simple as matching $ 20,000 worth of student contri butions, as Concordia promised, would have been a welcome gesture. Unfortunately, our athletic department is taking its cue on tsunami relief from the administration's stinginess. Arguably, the face of the university, its 49 varsity squads compete in three con ferences for 14 Canadian Interuniversity Sport championships, to say nothing of teams' trips while representing McGill in the US and overseas. Something as simple as donating a portion

YASEMINEMORY The Redmen w ent just three of 16 from beyond the arc in a loss to the Gaiters at Love Hall.

c a ll fo r t h e

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of proceeds from ticket sales at this past weekend's Redmen and Martlets events would have been appropriate, but instead an opportunity was squandered. The fact is that people look to social institutions such as major universities to set an example in tough times. Other schools' athletic programs have embraced this challenge, and their support has been well-documented and celebrated. The CIS Web site has been touting the contributions of five athletic departments (UBC, Regina, Manitoba, Ottawa, and Concordia), but McGill remains conspicuously absent. Perhaps our cash-strapped school and athletic department were too focused on their balance sheets to consider the long term implications of providing financial aid. But aside from the altruistic duty to help one's fellow man, there would have also been something to gain from upping our efforts. The details of our campaign would have been proudly posted on both the McGill and CIS Web sites, for all —including prospective stu dents and their parents—to see. Might they now view McGill more negatively because they see tnat competing universities have pledged money? And might CIS brass think less of McGill when it comes time to award those coveted, profit-laden spots as national championship hosts? The athletic department also missed out on the chance to expose people to its product. Attendance at McGill sporting

MOHIT ARORA & ANDREW SEGAL

events is lacklustre, to say the least. Were McGill to contribute gate receipts to charity, more spectators would surely turn out to further the cause and get more bang for their donated buck, while at the same time receiving a preview of a women's hock ey team that will be contesting for this year's national champi onship. Crazy thought, but just maybe they'll return—as paying customers—come the post-season. The lack of generosity stands out all the more because the McGill athletic department oversees amateur sport, often con sidered the purest form of sport. When contrasted with its sup posedly greedy and selfish professional counterpart, amateur athletics and those who represent it are made to seem angelic. Yet it has been pro teams and leagues, like the NFL and MLB, that have opened up their hearts and their wallets. In an unrelated story, McGill athletic director Robert Dubeau announced Thursday that he would be taking early retirement and leaving his post as Canada's longest serving AD. Reversing the McGill athletic department's current policy of apa thy and ignorance towards fundraising for tsunami victims—by donating money from ticket sales at this upcoming weekend's games to tsunami relief—would be an excellent way for him to wrap up his distinguished career on a high note, and avoid wasting a great chance to show the world what kind of institu tion McGill can be. ■

BASKETBALL M a r tle ts

Bishop's

f a d e

la te

55,

Martlets

lo s s t o

th e mcgill tribune | 18.1.05 | sports 21

G a ite r s

OFF

THE

BEATEN

PATH

F o u ls , t u r n o v e r s s p o i l s o l i d e f f o r t ELISHA SIEGEL

H aaaaarrrrrd ! to

It's starting to feel like déjà vu all over again for the McGill womens basketball team. Once again, the Red 'n' White put forward a strong effort ana hung tough against a capable squad, and once again, the Martlets found a way to shoot themselves in the foot and squan der an opportunity for a big win, this time dropping a 5546 decision to Bishop's Saturday night at Love Competition Hall. The game started slowly, with two and a half min utes elapsing before the Gaiters finally opened the scor ing, ana the sluggish pace continued for much of the first half, which saw Bishop's take a 26-25 lead into the lock er rooms. This speed played into McGills hands, as the Martlets were able to clamp down on every Gaiters' offensive possession, but McGill struggled getting the ball into the lane on their trips down the floor, instead staying on the perimeter and settling for outside shots. Forward KelfycRae Kenyon expressed frustration over her team's inability to get the ball to its inside scorers. "[Centre]-Julianne [Noseworthy] and [forward] Alisen [Salusbury] are our scoring leaders and we could n't get it inside to them," she lamented. But it was from beyond the arc that Martlet cocap tain Amanda Costa, a third^/ear point guard from Toronto, kept the game within reach for McGill. In atten dance cheering Costa on were her former teammates from St. Clements High School, who were in town for a tournament of their own. Costa, buoyed by the support, made four of seven shots from three-point land on the night, setting a career-high for three-pointers made. The second half saw the Gaiters explode with a 103 run, but the Martlets answered with an 11-2 stretch of their own, highlighted by a spectacular reverse la-yejp by guard Marie-Eve Beaulieau-Demers. The Martlets briefly took the lead at the midway point of the second half, but late-game fouls and a slew of turnovers ultimately were the Martlets' undoing. The Gaiters feasted on free throws and points off turnovers, and pulled away for the win.

VOLLEYBALL

- Laval

V o lle y b a lle r s

c a n 't

M a r tle ts , R e d m e n

program

ou know what? Making fun of curling is really easy, and rather enjoyable, too. I've always relished that particular activity—teas ing curling, not actually curling. It's too easy to resist, considering the typical curler's resemblance in age and body type to Danny DeVito. And let's not forget the cacophonic screaming by the combat ants as the rock is thrown down the ice in the direction of... other rocks. Man, a patronizing ass like me armed with a rudimentary knowledge of curling could kill at Just For Laughs. But while we all delight in dissing this charming little sport, isn't it strange that we all seem to know so much about a game we claim not to like? I always feigned a lack of interest in the sport, yet I seem to know that the game is played in 10 ends, like innings, between two teams (or rinks), each consisting of a lead, second, third, and skip. I know that the rink with the rocks closest to the centre (the button) at the end of each frame gets points for each stone between the button and the opponent's nearest stone. Hell, I could even explain the meaning of terms such as "hammer," "hog line," and "double raised takeout." I think many of you can as well. But don't fret—your secret is safe with me. I blame my friend Lindsay from high school for my closet interest in curling. She was a big-time curler back in the day, and I used to give her a hard time. She would insist that curling is indeed a sport (which it is, albeit a silly one), but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction

YASEMINEMORY McGill's outside shooting wasn't enough to win.

The Martlets' record now drops to 1-7 within the conference and they still have yet to win at home. Still, Head Coach Ryan Thorne said that he was proud of the team's effort. "We kept a pretty good team to 55 points. We just have to do better on offence," he said. Leading the way for the Martlets was BeaulieuDemers, with a season-high 22 points. Kenyon also had a strong night, posting 10 points, nine boards, and a pair of steals. Despite the individual performances, time is running out on the team's season. The Martlets are going to have to find a way to put together a strong showing for a full 40 minutes if they expect to turn things around. ■

Laval

b r o n z e

Redmen

s h in e

str o n g to u r n a m e n t p e r fo r m a n c e s

It was a disappointing weekend for the McGill vol leyball teams, as both the Martlets and Redmen fell to the Laval Rouge et Or Sunday afternoon at Love Competition Hall. Both squads had hoped to use the contest to build on their solid third-place finishes in recent tournaments, but Laval was just too strong. In the best-of-five set match, the Martlets lost 3-2 (2025, 25-21, 20-25, 25-22, 15-9). Laval then swept the Redmen 3-0 (25-18, 25-20, 25-17). Sunday's loss left the Martlets with a 1-7 league record, while the Redmen are now 1-1 1 . The Martlets started by dominating the first set Sunday, in which Laval never gained the lead. "We definitely started out strong," said cocaptain Catherine-Anne Murray. "We came out as a team." The Rouge et Or responded, though, capturing the second set, but the momentum bounced back to the Martlets in the third. McGill trailed after losing an early lead, but finally caught up to tie the game at 1 8, then scored five of the next seven points to take a 2-1 advtange. The two teams answered each other almost point for point in the fourth, with Laval ultimately triumphing and forcing a decisive fifth set. Sunday's game was only the fifth this season to last five sets and that might have contributed to the Martlets weak play in the final frame, Murray offered. "I think maybe it might have broken down a little bit in the fifth set," she said. Of the three times the Martlets and Rouge et Or have met this season, McGill played its best in the most recent game, according to middle blocker Emilie Doran. In the two previous games the Martlets lost 3-1 and 3-0 to the taller Laval team. "It was really good that we kept strong, we kept the spirit, we kept hitting hard," said Doran. "This was definite ly a lot better." Setter Valerie Savard more than made up for a few short and long serves with 23 digs and three stealthily exe

c u r lin g

MOHIT ARORA

lo s e c o n f e r e n c e g a m e s a fte r

JENNIFER JETT

I lik e

C a m p u s R e c o ffe r s n e w

Martlets

k e e p

b o th

b u t

a d m it,

cuted tips. Doran led the team in kills with 16, while power hitter Anne Robitaille picked up two aces in addi tion to 19 digs. Head Coach Rachèle Beliveau attributed the loss to mistakes made in the final sets. "At the end of the game, we were digging the ball," she said, "but we didn't convert into an attack." Redmen can't keep up

In contrast, Laval overpowered the Redmen in three successive games. With several players sidelined or slowed down by illness, the Redmen faltered on defence, which is usually their strong suit. They managed to keep things close through the first two sets, but in the third stanza, tne Rouge et Or jumped out to a 9-0 lead. Louis Grenier's strong serves helped McGill rally to make the score 10-5, but Laval ran off six unanswered points before going on to win 25-17. Head Coach Jose Rebelo did not mince words in explaining the loss. "Balls were just falling on the court," he said. "[The players would] just look at them fall instead of trying to play them." ■ The game was not without bright spots, however. Andrew Royes and Paul Grinvalds led the squad with nine and seven kills, respectively. The team also had seven aces. "Our serving was good," Rebelo said. "A lot of guys had runs of four or five points." A chance to bounce back?

The Martlets have a week off before taking on the Carabins at the Université de Montréal on January 28. There's no rest for the weary Redmen, though, as they host the Quebec Student Sport Federation-Atlantic University Sport Interlocking League Tournament this weekend, play ing Memorial, Moncton, Dalhousie, and the University of New Brunswick. Rebelo has high hopes for the tournament and for a healthier team. "I expect good things," he said. "I expect everybody to get back in shape this weekend." ■

SMITHSONIANAAAG.COM of admitting it. "But it's shown on TSN!" she would exclaim, to which I'd calmly respond, "Yeah, but so is the National Spelling Bee." But all this debating would compel me to do something strange. I'd be channel surfing at home, come across the Brier or some other bonspiel (that's Curlish for "tournament"), and watch for a little while. "Wow, this game is so dumb," I'd say aloud even though I was alone, in a pathetic attempt to convince myself I didn't really like it—but I still ended up exclaiming things like "Manitoba is just dominating the Free Guard Zone" or "Russ Howard! He's so hot right now." Eventually, the fateful day came when I actually tried curling for myself. I figured going in that it wouldn't be so hard. After all, I've excelled in much more impressive sports than this. And I drink enough beer and have enough belly that Ishould be a natural. Hot damn, was I wrong. I started things off on the wrong foot—meaning on my ass. You see, those rocks weigh a solid 44 pounds each, and holding just the one in my right hand while standing on ice and leaning on a broom for balance is a pretty daunting task. Needless to say, I fell. Hard. Everyone's first reaction: "Careful! Don't break the rock!" Don't worry, the rock landed safely on my thigh. Thanks for the concern, though. My femur hates curling, by the way. Since I was too proud to admit that I might struggle with the finer points of the sport, we dove right into a game, ana it became clear that I was pretty useless. I could never get the rock to go where I want ed, and I couldn't understand what was being yelled at me when I was sweeeeeeeping! and hurrrryyyyingl, so my feam found it best to marginalize my contribution. "Mo, the best thing you can do is keep up tne chatter. If you annoy the other team half as much as you bug us, there's no way well lose." Thanks, guys. And we did win, in the end. But after it was all over, I wasn't sat isfied. I wasn't going to let this game defeat me. So I insisted on tak ing shots until I got just one to land on the button. My first 14 attempts weren't so hot, and everyone had the sinking feeling that we were going to be here for a wnile. But with sleight of hand and a twist of fate, my next shot drifted lazily down the ice, the rock slowly rotating and gently curling, and came to a stop resting perfectly on the button. At the time, it felt like my crowning athletic achievement. I haven't played since, but my friend Albert wants to put together a bonspiel to celebrate his birthday at the end of January, and I could n't be more excited. The secret is out. I love curling, and I want you to love curling, too. ■ Campus Recreation has teamed up with the Royal Montreal Curling Club to add the sport to its Drop-In Rec program. For more infor mation, contact Kevin MacSween at kevin. macsween@mcgill.ca or phone 398-701 I, or Linda Slade at rylmtlcc@videotron.ca or phone 935-3411.

sports | 18.1.05 | th e mcgill trib u n e

CAMPUS

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ROBERT CHURCH A familiar sight on campus, it is a place where students can enter tain themselves day and night, and is where the deepest thinking at McGill undoubtedly takes place. It is a holy shrine for some, and a place to relieve yourself during SnOAP for others. It is the lower cam pus ice rink, and it is shrouded in mystery. Undoubtedly, few McGill students know of the rink's origins, and those who do find out are probably surprised; the athletics department, the Students' Society, and the administration all have nothing to do with it. The group responsible for creating this enigma of ice is none other than the Engineering Undergraduate Society. EUS Vice-President Finance Egbert de Groot explains that the main use of the rink is for EUS broomball tournaments. "EUS funds [the rink] every year," said de Groot. "We use it for broomball. We usually have about 15 or so teams." De Groot said that while EUS pays for the actual cost of the rink, it is the responsibility of the McGill administration to actually build and maintain it. "Facilities Services maintains it and puts it up, and EUS just uses it," he said. "Usually it costs somewhere in the neighbourhood of $3,000. It depends on how much maintenance needs to be done." Vivienne Rock, assistant director and manager (special events) for Buildings and Ground Services, confirmed that the rink is specially designed to facilitate broomball, but was unsure how people actually come to play on it. "It belongs to the Faculty of Engineering," she said. "We put it up and we maintain it. The service is done so that it suits broomball. I know that people do play on it, but that's up to the engineers. They handle the bookings." Rock did say, though, that the rink is not prepped for hockey.

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But just what the heck is broomball? Think hockey crossed with a touch of curling. The players run, rather than skate, on the ice, while wearing special shoes that enable them to slide better. While chasing after an inflated ball, they manoeuver the brooms like hockey sticks and try to shoot the projectile into a net that is slightly larger than a hockey goal. Matches usually consist of six players per side contesting two 1 8-minute stop-time periods, and there are also offside and icing rules similar to those in hockey. Although the game originated in Canada in the early 1900s, it has spread to the US and around the world, with active leagues in cities like Sydney, Australia, and Orlando, Florida. The University of Miami (Ohio) even hosts an annual tournament that features 450 teams and over 6,000 participants. While the proliferation of broomball is great for the sport itself, hockey enthusiasts might find the apparent broomball-only designation of the rink distressing. However, EUS Administrative Manager Dianne Ferguson says that arrangements have been worked out in the past to permit other sports. "I think that if other people want to use it when it wasn't being used for broomball, they could work something out with our sports rep," said Ferguson. "It is a costly venture, and in the past people have rented it and paid for the ice time." For her part, though, EUS President Victoria David was skeptical that people would even be able to play hockey on the rink. "I've never tried to play hockey on that ice," she said. "I imagine it might be challenging considering the ice isn't anywhere near per fect. " With that in mind, it appears that broomball will be a fixture on lower campus for years to come. So, at least for the time being, prospective hockey players will just have to keep hauling their gear up to McConnell Arena when the urge to get in a quick game strikes. ■

The rink of mystery: in 1884 (above) and today.

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JOSEPH GILGOFF Fresh off a morning flight from New York to Florida for the 2005 Gator Bowl between the Florida State Seminoles and the West Virginia Mountaineers, I was getting over a horrible New Year's hangover while soaking in the sun in a sleeveless T-shirt—in other words, nothing could be better. And since I'm a red-blooded American, I'm supposed to be all about college football bowl games and the whole atmosphere that surrounds them. So then why was I so frightened when the drunken hick carrying a plastic bottle of Bud Light staggered up to my friend and me outside the stadium? The drunk quickly took note of the West Virginia hat atop my head — supplied by my friend, a former WVU student and the coordinator of the trip—and felt a sense of camaraderie. "People just forget about the old school!" he roared in his slow West Vir-gin-i-an drawl, slugging me hard on my bare arm. "You know what I mean?!?" "Yeah!" I agreed heartily, rubbing my shoulder and wondering what the hell this lunatic was talking about. "Now let's do it right! Let's goooooooooooooooll!" he cried, his face lit up with anticipation. When I responded with only a blank stare, the hick looked somewhat COACHROD.COM troubled, but recovered quickly. "This is discrimination!" he screamed. "Giving me a plastic bottle of The (drunken) M ountaineer maniacs of West Virginia University. beer! Plastic! Discrimination, brother!" "Fucking nerd, stop thinking so much," I scolded myself. Needless to say, my friend and I were relieved when he walked on. Indeed, once the game started, there was too much excitement for An hour and several Bud Lights later, though, watching the WVU and FSU bands battle it out on the field, I began to wonder if it was perhaps dis such contemplation. I yelled my heart out for West Virginia heroes like kick returner Pacman Jones and exchanged high fives with the Southern mob. I crimination. The field was bright and hazy, and everything was happy. Suddenly, the fact that 40,000 people wearing the Seminoles even forgave the blond-haired boy who agreed to take a picture of my maroon and gold were facing a mass of 20,000 blue 'n' gold clad West friend and I but instead aimed towards the sky. Disposable cameras can Virginians who had driven or flown halfway down the coast for a football be tricky, I reasoned. When I heard a familiar drunk voice cry, "Let's game made perfect sense. As the band leaders of the WVU group gooooooooooooooooo!" this time I understood. "Mountaineers!!!" I shouted in glee with the rest of the crowd. charged onto the gridiron waving gigantic flags in a scene reminiscent of West Virginia lost the game 30-1 8, and the rest of the day was spent Braveheart, I stood and raised my fist triumphantly with the rest of the retelling the experience to everyone we encountered. While sipping juice crowd. Soon enough, though, the McGill in me started to act up—that damn at the airport bar, three Mountaineer players filed in and ordered tall Canadian sensibility. When a procession of off-duty soldiers marched onto drinks, trying to forget a disappointing loss. Passersby congratulated them the field to a standing ovation and one sang the national anthem, my buzz on a good season and patted them on the back. Florida was in full bowl took a major hit. When three fighter jets thundered over the stadium, I fever, and for a week, the rest of the world was just a distraction. As my plane touched down back home in New York, I felt thankful. cheered, but wondered how much such unnecessary displays cost the Thankful for a new favourite college football team, for good memories with Army each year, and what place the military had at the Gator Bowl. a great friend and, most of all, thankful that I'm not from West Virginia. ■

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MOHIT ARORA Robert Dubeau, McGill University athlet ic director and the longest serving athletic director in Canadian Interuniversity Sport, announced his retirement on Thursday, and will wrap up his 28year career effective August 31, 2005. A native of Montreal, Dubeau has worked at McGill for 36 years. The 61 yearold is credited for overseeing the expansion of the school's athletic facilities, increasing the number of varsity teams, and full-time coach es at McGill, as well as raising the athletic department's annual budget from $1.6 million to $7.3-million. "I feel confident that I'm leaving with the department in good shape. It's kind of like the stock market... I'm selling when it's high," joked Dubeau. But Dubeau insists that he will be a busy man for the next seven-plus months until the end of his tenure. His main priorities are to oversee the planned $5-million renovations to the fitness centre from March until the end of July, as well as hire a marketing manager for the athletics department by no later than March 1. "The objective in the. next four or five months is to complete whatever projects I've started. It's important that the next person gets to start fresh and look to the future, rather than clean up a mess I've left behind," said Dubeau, who also -plans to further develop the financial awards program for student-ath letes. He also has the responsibility of hosting other QSSF brass for this summer's annual meetings Dr. Bruce Shore, dean of students, will soon be organizing a search committee for Dubeau's replacement. ■

th e mcgill trib u n e j 18.1.05 | sports 2 3

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Hockey Redmen top Gee-Gees

McGill's men's hockey team traveled up route 40 to face the University of Ottawa in a game with implications in the OUA Far East division standings, and pulled out a 21 win Saturday night. Greg LeBlanc's power-play goal opened the scoring for McGill at the 13:05 mark of the first period, and the Redmen held off a strong GeeGee attack on the strength of goaltender Mathieu Poitras' fine game in net, as he stopped all but one of 34 shots faced. McGill gave itself some breathing room when Alexandre Pagé also found the back of the net with the man advantage midway through the second frame. Though Ottawa rallied, solving Poitras early in the third to cut the lead in half, they were unable to net the equalizer and McGill escaped the nation's capital with the win. With the win, McGill now finds itself in a three-way tie with Ottawa and Concordia for second-place in the divi sion, but with two games in hand.

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PLAYOFF QUALIFICATIONS Men's hockey—top two teams in each of 15 the Far East and Mid East, and the two next-best teams, regardless of division 13 Women's hockey—top three teams 10 ! Men's and women's volleyball—top three teams

SHERBR'KE 8

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REDMEN HOCKEY—Concordia @ McGill, Saturday, 7pm at McConnell Arena The boys in Red 'n' White return to McGill for their first home game in nearly two months after a tour of Europe over Christmas break. The four teams in the division are all within three points of each other, so every game is key for playoff position, and this one against the rival Stingers is no exception.

McGill Redmen 2 @ Ottawa Gee-Gees 1

Purple Eagles soar over Martlets in exhibition romp

McGill's women's hockey team played host to Niagara University on Sunday at McConnell Arena, but was thoroughly handled by the visitors from Lewiston, NY, who skated away with a 5-2 victory. The Martlets got on the board first, as Kristen Leuszler scored at the 2:26 mark of the first period. But that was the calm before the storm, as Niagara erupted for all five of their goals before the game had even reached intermission. The Purple Eagles solved McGill goalkeeper Kalie Townsend four times in 10 shots before chasing her from the game. Catherine Herron replaced Townsend in net and yielded the fifth Niagara goal, but was sturdy the rest of the way, stopping 21 shots in her two-plus periods of work. Katherine Safka, McGill's points leader for the season, rounded out the scoring with her goal in the second period.

Sunday, January 16, 2004 SCORING SUMMARY First Period 1. McGill - Greg LeBlanc (D. Orr, D. Jacob), 13:05 (pp) PENALTIES: OTT: N. Tennant (unsports), 12:30 McG: S. Shewchuck (interfere), 13:48 McG: D. Jacob (rough), 15:40 OTT: D. Bliss (rough) 19:07 OTT. J. Pont (slash) & N. Tennant (rough), 20:00 McG: D. Jacob (rough), 20:00

REDMEN AND MARTLETS BASKETBALL-UQÀM @ McGill, Friday, 6 and 8pm at Love Competition Hall Might both teams get their second win against the second^ear Citadins? The women got their only win of the season against UQAM back in November and have a good chance at another, but the men will find things more challenging. After going just 3-1 3 last year, the Citadin men are at a solid 4-4 this season.

Second Period 2. McGill - Alexandre Pagé (P.O. Gosselin, G LeBlanc), 13:43 (pp) PENALTIES: OTT: N. Tennant (interfere), 13:55 McG: M. Leclerc (trip), 15:11

NFL—Conference championships, Sunday, 3pm on Fox and 6:30pm on CBS Note the late start times for these games, which should provide football until late enough in the evening to allow for some serious procrastina tion. In the first tilt, the Eagles try to avoid becoming theJV Bills by win ning in their fourth straight NFC title game appearance. In the late game the Patriots try to avenge an early-season loss to the Steelers.

Synchro team floats to top of Brock meet

The McGill synchronized swimming team was the belles of thé ball at a meet hosted by Brock University on Sunday, taking first place in four of five categories. Amanda Feige and Stephanie Landry claimed top spot in the duet routine, Catherine Pollock took home the solo routine, and Caitlin Black-Alien won the technical solo. Feige also coached the McGill "A" unit to victory in the team routine.

Third Period 3. Ottawa - Jérome Brière (S. Séguin, D. Dhillon), 1:51 PENALTIES: McG: S. Shewchuck (cross-check), 7:32 OTT: N. Tennant (rough), 11:10 McG: D. Jacob (rough), 11:10 McG: E. L'Italien (slash), 14:06

NBA—Raptors at Bobcats, Sunday, 1pm on TSN Want to finally see a Raptors road win? It could come in this tangle with the expansion Bobcats, but don't get your hopes up too much—the 'Cats are actually 7-9 at home. This game also provides the opportuni ty for fans to cneck out Charlotte's rookie doubledouble machine, Emeka Okafor.

Track and field teams hoard hardware at Sherbrooke meet

The Red 'n' White were fleet afoot on Saturday, with the men and women each collecting 1 1 medals, including a double sweep of the 3,000-metre events. Pat McAuliffe took the gold in the men's race, followed by Anthony Orth and James Young for the silver and bronze, respectively. Jane Cullis won the women's competition, with Laura Wilson and Jessalyn O'Donnell rounding out the top three. Dan St. Michael finished first in the men's high jump, and Paul Bouchebi's output in the shot put was good enough to give him the gold. On the women's side, Alissa Alpa finished first in the 600-metre race.

SHOTS BY PERIOD 1 2 3 Total McGill 9 1 1 6 26 Ottawa 13 9 11 34 POWER PLAY (goals/chances): McGill: 2 /5 Ottawa: 0 /6 GOALTENDERS: Ottawa: Matthew Davis (L, 58:38, 2GA, 23 saves) Empty net: (1:22, 0GA) McGill: Mathieu Poitras (W, 60:00, IGA, 33 saves)

McGill skier opens season with bronze finish

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Daniel Holden ♦ U3 Philosophy/English ♦ Men's volleyball

Q: What has been the best you've ever gone to support part about being on the your team? Redmen volleyball team for the A: Last year we raised past lour years? $2,500 doing a nude calen-

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A: I'm really lucky because I get to work with a really great group of guys who are great to play and party with. Q: Why be a setter? A: I'd like to say because it's the quarterback position of volleyball, but really it's because when I first started, I was too short to play power. Q: The team did really well in last weekend's tournament, What clicked? A: We had our big players step up when they needed

dar, which is surprising because you normally couldn’t pay peopie to look at volleyball players naked. We still have copies available for anyone interested. Q: Why do you think you deserve getting a Quick Hits devoted to you? I've been working hard for four years and haven't really gotten the recognition 1 deserve, or more likely, because you're my roommate. Q: What's it like living with really hot roommates?

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We can't believe how little respect the New England Patriots got all week leading up to their tilt against the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday Fine, Peyton Manning has been great all season (especially in the fourth quarter of blowouts, I might add), and sure the Colts dismantled the Denver Broncos the week before (a team that has not won a playoff game since John Elway retired, it's worth noting), but how does anyone completely overlook the DEFENDING SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS!?!?! We're not saying that we knew all along that New England would win or anything, but how can anyone give Manning and the Colts the benefit of the doubt when they haven't been able to beat the Patriots? His numbers are great, but has Manning ever won an important football game? Not even in college did he win a game that actually mattered. The Pats Tom Brady, on the other hand, has still never lost a playoff game. Sure, New England isn't the flashiest team in the world, but they've won 30 of 32 games. And last time I checked, isn't winning the most important thing? At least Manning and Minnesota's Daunte Culpepper have their stats to console them this off-season.

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McGill's Jessie Behan got the Quebec alpine ski sea son off to a solid start by skiing her way to a third-place fin ish at Le Massif Saint-François over the weekend. Behan's time of two minutes, 15.29 seconds was good enough to earn her the bronze in a field of 54 com petitors. The Martlets placed second out of eight teams for the competition. The Redmen were not so fortunate, as they were forced to compete without Nicolas Zyromski, who is current ly skiing for Canada at the World University Games. The short-handed men's team placed fifth out of the eight teams in competition at the meet.

INTRAMURAL CORNER

Ice hockey- men's division D

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Jan. 1 1 Sigma Chi 4, Absolut Zero 0 Jan. 12 Squids 5, Chiefs 2 Jan. 14 Black Shuck 5, Tastes like Chicken 2 Jan. 16 Morituri 4, Pink Panthers 1 Jan. 16 Team Sucko Farm 3, Bad Mamma Jammas 1

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WOMEN IN CANADIAN POLITICS, Joint Presentation by Marlene Jennings (Member of Parliament for NDG-Lachine) and Yolande James (MNA for Nelligan): Why are there so few female Canadian Politicians? Two politically involved women discuss the Canadian political environment from a wom an’s point of view. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner 2nd floor, 2-3:30. THE POLITICAL (MIS)REPRESENTATION OF WOMEN, Presentation by Dr Elisabeth Gidengil, McGill Political Science Department: Dr Gidengil discussed the m edia’s portrayal of wom en in politics, as well as limiting factors on female political participation in Canada. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd floor, 4-5:30. r

Tuesday, January 18th: Social and Workforce Equity of Gender “WHAT IS FEMINIST ACTIVISM TODAY?”, D iscussion Panel Hosted by the Union for Gender Empowerment: A two-part session (speakers, followed by audience participation d iscu ssion) about the diversity of feminist activity, including academic, community, and trans-activism initiatives. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner 2nd Floor, 11:30-1. FREE LUNCH! Hosted by the Midnight Kitchen, Our favorite Chefs serve free lunch, first com e, first serve. Shatner. A PERSPECTIVE ON PRACTICING LAW IN CANADA, Presentation by Janet Ferrier: This presenter works at Davies Ward Phillips and Vineberg Law firm, and discussed her experience in the legal profession. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 2-3:30. “SHOULD FEMALE CANDIDATES HAVE SEAT QUOTAS IN THE LEGISLATURE?” A debate hosted by the McGill Debating Union: Come hear both sid es of the argument, and share your own opinion. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 6-7:30.

Wednesday, January 19th: Queer Issu e s, at McGill and Beyond UNDERSTANDING HOMO! D HETEROSEXIAM: AN INTRODUCE FRIENDS, a workshop directed by the McGill Queerequity Safe 'orkgro^ip: A new initiative from this d ed group o! I, students and professors aims at making McGill a more open ivironment. Lev Bukhman Council Room, SI r, 2nd Floor, 3-4. FREE LUNCH! Hosted Üy the Midnight Kitchen. Our favorite Chefs serve free lunch, first com e, first serve. Shatner. HOMOSEXUALITY, MARRIAGE, THE CHURCH, AND GOVERNMENT IN CANADA, Joint Presentation by Brent Hawkes of Metropolitan Community Church Toronto and Darryl MacDonald of St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church Lachine: Two prominent gay rights activists and clergymen discuss their experiences of integrating religion, hom osexuality and human rights. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 4-5:30. QUEER ISSUES IN EDUCATION: IMPACTS AND IMPLICATIONS OF HARASSMENT IN SCHOOLS, a workshop directed by the McGill Queerequity Safe Space Workgroup: How d oes our educational system treat homosexuality? Come address questions important to McGill as a learning institution. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 6-7:30. v

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Thursday, January 20th: Minority Rights in Canada, and Disability Aw areness FIND OUT THE CHALLENGES FACED EVERY DAY BY MCGILL STUDENTS AND STAFF WHO ARE DISABLED. By limiting vision, hearing or mobility, w e are challenging non-disabled students to live half a day with a disability. Sign up at the SSMU Office, beginning Jan 17th. ; . ;«•?; \ '' * ' f ‘ •; / •' f J S - ■. -V,. THE POLITICAL REPRESENTATION OF ETHNIC MINORITIES IN CANADA, Presentation by The Hon. Warren Allmand, of the McGill Institute for the Study of Canada, former President of Rights and Democracy, and former Solicitor General of Canada: A discussion of how minority groups fare in the Canadian political system . Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 2:304. FILM: “WAR BABIES”, hosted by V-Day McGill: This acclaim ed film by a Montreal Production Company, Macumba International, illus trates how rape is a form of warfare, and d iscu sses the repercussions on m others and babies. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner 2nd Floor, 4:00-6:00. PRESENTATION by Elizabeth Wright, hosted by the McGill A ssociate for Baha’i Studies: A discussion of the role that men and boys can play in the achievem ent of Gender Equity. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 6-8.

Friday, January 21st: Equity Issu e s for First Peoples in Canada FIRST NATIONS IN HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE, Presentation by Ellen Gabriel, President of Quebec Native Women Inc.: This long-time First Peoples’ Rights activists uses history and her own artwork to explain the current situation of First Peoples in Canada. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner 2nd Floor, 10-11:30. URBAN ABORIGINAL PEOPLES IN CANADA, workshop directed by the Native Friendship Center of Montreal: This association, which works with Native people who are on the street or street involved, presents an interactive workshop, and a great learning experi ence. Ballroom, Shatner, 3rd Floor, 11-12:30. MOVIE: FORGOTTEN WARRIORS: THE STORY OF CANADA’S ABORIGINAL WAR VETERANS, hosted by the Aboriginal Students’ Network: This NFB documentary, directed by Loretta Todd, d iscu sses the experience of Aboriginal soldiers following WWII. The son of one of the soldiers followed in the docum entary will com m ent on it afterwards. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner 2nd Floor, 2-3:30.

Friday, January 28th: Special Presentation by Keynote Speaker THE HONOURABLE LISE THIBAULT, LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR OF QUEBEC: To round off January with Equity in mind, The Honourable Lise Thibault will discu ss the challenges faced by persons with disabilities in Quebec and Canada, as well as her own story of living with a disability. Lev Bukhman Council Room, Shatner, 2nd Floor, 1-2:30.