The McGill Tribune Vol. 24 Issue 24 by The Tribune

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Curiosity delivers. Vol. 24 Issue 24

FEATURE: Daydream your way into your future-it's healthier.

A&E: Green beer & cheer-parading Irish pride with clichés.

SPORTS: An All-Girl's Revue-Reader discretion is advised.

T hu rsd a y, M a rc h 17, 2 0 0 5

PUBLI SHED BY THE ST UDE NT S ' S O C I E T Y OF M C G I L L UN I V ER SI T Y

S tu d e n ts to strike to m o rro w C la s s e s

w ill g o

o n

a s

XIANG GU M cG ill's undergraduate students have voted for a 24-hour strike tomorrow as a show of support for stu dents across Q u e b e c . M o re than 1 8 8 ,0 0 0 university and C É G E P students are on strike in protest of the provincial governm ents refusal to return the $ 103-m il lion cut from the student bursary program last spring. M o re than 8 0 0 students from all faculties showed up to a general assembly W e d n e s d a y in the Shatner ballroom , breaking fire safety regulations. After tw o hours of deba te , between 7 0 and 8 0 per cent of stu dents attending voted in favour of the one-day strike, according to Students' Society Speaker Ira Dubinsky. Elections M c G ill will also run an online referendum ask ing students whether to hold a second 24-hour strike next Thursday. The general assembly coincided with a dem on stration at Roddick G a te s . M em bers of the PostG ra d u a te Students' Society w ere on strike W e d n e s d a y as well. "Striking is a last resort, but it is also a successful o n e ," said Rachel M arcuse, a member of the strike committee. "All other avenues have been e xhausted... Education is a right— let's make sure w e don't punish those w h o really need this money. It's a symbolic action that shows the government how w e feel." A t a news conference last w e e k, la Fédération étu diante universitaire du Q u é b e c urged its member asso

in sid e

SSMU

u s u a l,

u n iv e r s it y

ciations, including S S M U , to launch a general and unlimited strike. "The minister's statement is outrageous, and it leaves us increasingly worried for Q u e b e c 's 7 5 ,0 0 0 poorest students w hose debt w as doubled due to this unprecedented cut," said F E U Q President Pier-André Bouchard. A n d re w S a lzb e rg , U 3 Engineering, said S S M U 's participation will boost the strike's effectiveness. “M c G ill is a well known English university," he said. "If w e lend support, it should help the cause. If w e stay on the sidelines, it will be detrimental." U 3 Political Science student Stephanie Boulton agreed. "I think it is important that English students show support, that M c G ill is not an apathetic university and that w e 're willing to give up one d a y o f class for the cause," she said. A small but vocal group of students at the general assembly opposed the strike. Clubs a nd Services Representative Ale x Kem eny said that striking is an inef fective w a y for students to convey their message. "If you believe education is a right, then as a stu dent you should exercise that right and g o to class," he said. Som e students questioned whether the general assembly w as a democratic w a y to represent all stu-

See PACKED, page 4

ELECTIONS

2,3,&4

A c o u p for

C o n fe r PHOTOS 8YDAVESRQDKEY T h e lin e o f s tu d e n ts w a itin g to v o te o n th e s trik e e x te n d e d o u t o f S h a tn e r

Whether or not you cared enough to have your say. the Students' Society's next batch of doe-eyed politician-wannabes has been determined. To meet next year's executive, or to simply laugh at what people will say right after they win an election, turn to the news section.

a n d d o w n M cTavish, past P eterson Hail. Final call: s tu d e n ts v o te to strike.

C o n g ra tu la tio n s

o u r M c G ill A t h l e t e s

To the Redmen & Martlet Hockey Teams Thanks for the Ride! ______ It has been a great year. The 2004-05 McGill Athletics Awards Gala A Celebration of E x ce lle n c e Thurs., Mar. 31 at 6:30pm A th lete tic k e ts on s a le sta rtin g M arch 2 1 st a t clie n t s e r v ic e s - G 20

new s SSM U ELECTIONS

2005

A sea of faces you probably already know BY

P R E S ID E N T

LAURA

SABA

COM M . & EVEN TS

Karcza said that he w a s surprised a t the number o f votes he earned, con sidering he only ca m p a ig n e d for a sin g le day. "It doesn't matter w h o w in s," he said, "but the promises A dam m a d e — if he carries them through, it w o u ld be per fect. " Conter said that he w o u ld im m edi ately begin building contacts w ith cam pus groups for next year. "I'm g o in g to start before M a y first," he said. "I'm g o in g to w o rk on

A dam C onter w a s elected the next Students' Society president b y a land slide, garnering 5 8 .5 per cent o f the vote. His opponent, Kristôf Karcza, earned 2 ,0 4 2 votes, a nd 7 1 2 students spoiled their ballots. "I'm really excited about, the voter turnout," C onter said, referring to the 3 5 .8 per cent o f students w h o voted. "H ig h e s t voter turnout in history? A w esom e."

O P E R A T IO N S

JAMES

GOTOWIEC

Clutching a bottle o f celebratory cham pagne, Eric van Eyken rejoiced in his election as Students' Society Vice-President (O perations) last night, w ith 3 , 2 9 6 votes ( 4 9 .7 per cent). His o pponent, Trevor H anna, received 2 ,6 3 8 votes (3 9 .8 per cent). The m ain issue betw een the tw o candidates w as their plans for Gert's

H anna plans to stay involved w ith SSMU a nd possibly run a g a in next year. Van Eyken said that he w as e a g e r to g e t d o w n to w ork. His first a c t in o ffice w ill be to look into Gert's. H e said he plans to spend the summer painting Gert's a n d mak ing it into a "great p la ce ." C u rre n t Vice-President (O perations) Anthony Di C a rlo also congratulated van Eyken. "I've w o rked w ith Eric... through out the year," he said. "H e does know the portfolio, a n d I think he'll have a head start because o f that."

GREENMAN

I m ade my presence at McGill. Unfortunately we have a school that votes on face recognition. But also I held my own at the debate.

Roz Freeman w on vice-president (communications and events) last night, taking 5 1 . 9 per cent o f the vote, or 3 ,4 4 0 votes. "I'm e csta tic, v e ry h a p p y ," Freeman said after her victory. Freeman said that her first order of business as vice-president (communica tions a nd events) w ill be to reach out to student groups across campus.

She attributed her w in to her face recognition around campus. "I m ade my presence a t M c G ill," Freeman said. "Unfortunately w e have a school that votes on fa ce recognition. But also I held my o w n at the d e b a te .' O p p o n e n t Peter O c h o d o , w h o received 4 0 .8 per cent o f the vote and w a n te d to im p ro ve co m m u n ica tio n between students and SSMU through a better W e b site, said that if he had to conduct his ca m p a ig n a g a in he w o u ld have Spoken to more students. "I w o u ld have given effective class announcem ents," he said.

C L U B S & S E R V IC E S

Pub. Hanna w anted to shut Gert's d o w n , w h ile van Eyken plans to keep the bar running and give it a fa ce lift. "It's gre a t news, I'm ha p py with it," said van Eyken. "For once d em ocracy w o rke d ." Hanna co n g ra tu la te d his o p p on e n t on the w in a nd w ished him the best o f luck. "Eric's g o in g to d o a g o o d jo b ," he said. "I knew either w a y w e 'd have a com petent VP o p e ra tions year."

A M A N D A

"[I w ill] contact various bodies and groups a t M c G ill and start com m unicat ing with them," she said. Freeman said that the most difficult issue the Students' Society w ill tackle next year is keeping Gert's Pub afloat. "Gert's is a priority," she said. "I hope O perations w ill a llo w us a ll to w o rk together on the issue."

I'm really excited about the voter turnout. Highest voter turnout in history? Awesome.

learning the jo b ." Current acting President A n d re w Bryan, w h o has a lre a d y prom ised to w o rk w ith the w in n in g ca n d id a te until the end o f his ow n term, said that voters m ade the right choice, but that Conter has a d ifficu lt task a h e a d o f him. "H e certainly has a lot to learn," he said. "H e w ill have to read a lot o f d ry documents and com e to m any meet in g s— partly to learn, and partly so he can start d e cid in g w h a t he wants to im prove."

^received 3 0 .2 per cent a nd 2 0 .2 per cent, respectively. "I w a n t to thank Jesus Christ," said M w o tia . "I ran the race the best w a y I knew how, a nd I'm g la d it w orked out." Pavan and Stern congratulat ed M w o tia and had nothing but w ords o f praise for the victor in the hotly contested race. "I kn o w he'll d o a really great jo b ," Pavan said.

CHRISTINE

CULLEN

"I think he'll d o a g o o d jo b ,” she said. "H e has some really g o o d ideas a nd I'm looking fo rw a rd to seeing w h a t he has to offer." O n e o f the hot issues for this portfolio in the upcom ing ye a r is the problem o f fin d in g a perm anent M uslim prayer space. M w o tia prom ised in his ca m p a ig n to d o whatever he can to find a solution, a n d he

I went out with a clear mandate. I believe

A m id a bustling cro w d o f cam pus m e d ia a n d confused b a r patrons, Leon M w o tia prepared to celebrate his victo ry as Students' Society Vice-President (Clubs a nd Services). M w o tia w o n w ith 4 0 . 8 per cent o f the vote, w h ile opfxjnents Josh Pavan a n d Richard Stern

Stern a g reed. that McGill students appreciated what I "He's a pro fe ssio n al and I want to do for them. kn o w he'll handle the position w e ll," he said. M w o tia said one o f his first plans to keep that promise. acts w ill be to w o rk on the SSMU "It w ill definitely be one o f my b o o k drive. priorities," he said. "I've g o t so m any exciting plans a n d I ca n 't w a it to g e t started," he said. C urrent Vice-President (Clubs and Services) Sameen Shahid had some w ords o f encouragem ent for M w o tia .

M w o tia said a strong m andate g a ve him the e d g e over his o p p o nents. "I w ent out w ith a clear man d a te ," he said. "I believe that M c G ill students a p p re cia te d w h a t I w a n t to d o for them."

ALL PHOTOS BY YASEMIN EMORY

S S M U

E L E C T IO N S

th e mcgill tribune | 17.3.05 j news

2 0 0 5

BY THERES A MU R P H Y

ARTS

AD WAT CH C a m p a ig n

our fo o d services." Stoa w a s unavailable for comment. Paul-Erik Veel w a s close behind w ith 9 5 6 votes ( 2 5 .7 per cent), a n d C o le Ryan received 4 8 6 votes ( 1 3 .0 per cent). The rem aining votes w e re spoiled. Ryan congratulated the winners. "I am not d isappointed in the results— both w e re g o o d ca n d id ate s," he said. "I am sure they w ill d o an excellent

M a le k Yalaoui a nd Ryan Stoa w e re d e clared next year's Arts senators. Yalaoui earned 1 ,1 0 7 o f the votes ( 2 9 .7 per cent), w h ile Ryan Stoa w o n 9 7 7 votes (2 6 .2 per cent). Yalaoui expressed excitement for the w o rk that lies in store for her. "There are some key issues affecting Arts students in the year a h e a d ,” she said. "Som e o f the most obvious that have been in the press lately include the A + issue, the issue o f M uslim prayer, A n cilla ry Services, a nd the contracting o f

a d s

a b o u n d

TRIBUNE NEWS TEAM

jo b ."

BY SARAH GRYNP AS

S C IE N C E concerns—course packs, fo o d services— to the Senate so their voices can be heard." Upham looks fo rw a rd to be w o rkin g w ith Pasternak. "W e 're from different departm ents— he's in Anatom y and I'm in M a th — so w e 'll bring together a larger g ro u p of

N e x t year's Science senators are Heather "Finn" Upham and incumbent Jesse Pasternak. Upham said she plans to im prove com m unication between the Senate and students. "I w a n t to deve lo p W e b space for the students to kn o w what's g o in g on, and establish contact w ith the other g ra d departm ents," she said. Her main priority w ill be raising awareness w ithin the student b o d y a b o ut the Senate and w h a t it does. "I d o n 't think a lot o f students know too much a b o ut the Senate or h o w it functions," she said. "I w a n t to bring their

p e o p le ," she said. Pasternak w a s unavailable for comment. The third ca n d id ate , Chris N e w lo v e , accepted the turn o f events. "I'm fine w ith it," he said. "Jesse a nd Finn w ill be great. It's not like som eone,unqualified w o n the position." i000O00«00»»»MO««0««0(00CM0C(M0«0»00O0««0OMweM0»«««c««w«W 0««»«««MW »««CM»»»0'N««M«c«««oM«M»»««o»0000«««o04M000M00C0«0M'

BY DAVI D N AT A F Law students voted by a m argin o f 6 7 . 4 to 2 9 .1 per ce n t— 1 9 0 to 8 2 votes— to elect Students' Society Speaker Ewa Krajewska as their senator. Firstyear class president N ic k Peters cam e in second. Krajewska plans on being involved in a number of issues. "I really w a n t to g e t on the libraries [com m ittee]," she

said. "There's a bunch o f committees that haven't existed for years that relate to students' rights and responsibilities that I'd like to resurrect." Peters said he w ill consider his options. "I've been involved w ith SSMU for five years," he said. "M a y b e it's time to take a little bit o f a break."

BY KAYVON AFSHARI

E D U C A T IO N Ivy O 'R e illy a nd Jennifer W h ite secured positions as senators representing the Faculty o f Education last night. W h ite w o n 2 2 0 votes (3 8 .2 per cent) a nd O 'R e illy g a r nered 1 9 9 votes (3 4 .5 per cent). "[I intend] to w o rk w ith lvy an d , just to make sure that Education students g e t a vo ice in whatever they w a n t im proved, Ivy a n d I w ill w o rk together to d o it," said W h ite .

"I kn o w that she is [interested in] more advisors, more advis ing sessions, a nd revising the curriculum, and I think that's a g re a t id e a . W e 'll just put our id e a s together. Stephen Ross trailed w ith 1 4 4 votes (25 per cent). This election sa w a higher than usual turnout in the Education faculty w ith 2 7 . 7 per cent.

BY EMILY HARRI S

M E D IC IN E A head-to-head race for M e d ic in e senator resulted in a victo ry for M a x im Ben-Yakov. He earned 2 4 1 votes, or 5 5 .2 per cent. His opponent, C yrille N a im , took 4 1 . 6 per cent o f the vote. The rem aining ballots w ere spoiled. During the ca m p a ig n period, Ben-Yakov w a s not con vinced that his position could enact substantial change.

"As w e have one-year terms, positions like the senator m ight not yie ld b ig long-term accom plishm ents," he said during the ca m p a ig n period. However, he underscored the im portance o f bringing student voices a n d opinions to the adm inistration, especial ly w ith regard to controversial issues.

Both proposed amendm ents to the current Students' Society constitution passed the referendum w ith a m ajority vote, altering the constitution for the first time in five years. The first set o f amendments, w h ich contained lan g u a g e clarifications a n d changes to the m em bership and procedures o f council, passed w ith 6 7 . 9 per cent o f the

President A n d re w Bryan, referring to the rem oval o f the Board o f G overnors representative. "I think it is quite in d ica tive that 7 0 per cent o f students voted in favour o f that

vote.

per cent o f the vote. If the resignation occurs w ithin the first six months o f the term, a m andatory by-election w ill be held. If the resigna tion occurs after the first six months, the decision to hold a by-election w ill be put to vote a t council. "I am ve ry pleased that the am endm ents w ent through," Bryan said.

The Treasurer position w ill be elim inated, a n d duties w ill be transferred to the Vice President (O perations and Finance) portfolio. Furthermore, the elected student seat at the B o a rd o f G overnors w ill be elim inated, leaving the pres ident as its sole representative. "B asically a lot o f it w a s house cle a n in g ," said acting

th e

he sea o f posters plastered across campus last w e e k w as d izzyin g and, as Students' S o cie ty Vice-President (Operations) ca n d id ate Trevor C. Hanna noted a t last Thursday's d e b a te , m ore than a little obscene. Here, the Tribune rates the c a n d id a te s ' a d ve rtisin g efforts.

Vice-President (O perations) Trevor C. Hanna: N ic e photo illus tration. The, text w as too small to read from far aw ay, but the font w a s strong. Including an e-mail address a nd W e b site is crucial, but Hanna w a s one o f only a handful o f candidates to d o so. Eric van Eyken: O n e van Eyken poster had the right idea: "W e 'd like to think that cam paigns are a b o ut more than name recogni tion," it read against a photo o f a student passing b y c a m p a ig n posters from last year. Van Eyken also informed students w hen vot ing began, w hich w a s a nice touch. But then there's the other poster, the one on w hich he lists 10 inane reasons to vote him ("Because ice cream is g o o d " — really?). O h , a nd Eric, next time it m ight be a g o o d idea to actually nam e the p o sition fo r w h ic h you're running.

BY MI RI AM A R O N O W I C Z

REFEREN D UM

Ju s t

SEEMA JETHALAL

Candidates try to pout the right way.

n u m b e rs :

am endm ent." The second amendm ent, w h ich clarifies the b ye le ctio n procedure in case an executive resigns, passed w ith 6 7 .2

th e

Health a nd Dental Plan Referenda Q uestion 1: Increasing the current Health a n d Dental plan fee b y $ 3 6 .1 3 . Yes: 2 , 5 5 3 ( 3 8 .5 per cent) N o : 3 ,4 7 3 ( 5 2 .4 per cent) S poiled: 6 0 4 (9.1 per cent) Q uestion 2 : A uthorizing SSM U council to increase the Health and Dental p la n by up to 1 0 per cent per year. Yes: 1 ,8 2 8 ( 2 7 .6 per cent) N o : 4 ,1 88 (63 .1 per cent) Spoiled: 6 1 4 (9 .3 per cent)

re fe re n d u m

Q uestion 3: O p tin g out o f the SSMU Health a n d Dental p la n w ithout p roof o f alternate coverage Yes: 4 , 2 5 7 (6 4 .2 per cent) N o : 1 ,8 2 6 ( 2 7 .5 per cent) S poiled: 5 4 7 (8 .3 per cent) Plebiscite: A + g ra d e Yes: 1 ,6 4 9 ( 2 4 .9 per cent) N o : 4 , 7 0 2 ( 7 0 .9 per cent) S poiled: 2 7 9 (4 .2 per cent)

SHB F

Vice-President (Clubs and Services) Leon M w o tia: M w o tia had one o f the best photos, but it w a s over whelm ed by a distracting back ground that m ade the poster look too busy. Poor printing q u ality— there w as a line through the slo|an "It's a b o ut tim e "— m ade it iard to read, but the slogan tied in to his pen sketch nicely. Josh Pavan. A p o o r ch oice o f photo and even poorer place ment (no one w o u ld stand on a bench, much less during the mid d a y congestion in the Leacock building, to read the fine print) d id not help Pavan's cause, but his name a nd the position w ere

lllllll

both prom inent Pavan's other posters— the triumvirate themed "F o o d ," "C lo th in g ," and "S h e lte r"— w e re much better, especially w ith the slogan "For all your clubs + service needs." R ichard Stern: Stern's posters w ere hit or miss, but the hits w ere cute. Underneath a photo o f a small creature clim bing onto a llam a, the poster d e c la re d , "C h a lle n g e s the Unsurm ountable." Typo a le rt— that should say INsurmountable. Vice-President (Communications and Events) Roz Freeman: The grand prize goes to Freeman. (W ell, w e don 't have an actual prize per se, but if w e d id , she w o u ld receive it). Freeman had a g o o d variety o f styles and colours, and she w ins for poster placem ent— text-heavy ads set a t eye level. The best o f the bunch w a s an a d in which she spelled out "Vote" w ith her hands. Design fundamentals like repetition o f a circle shape height ened the visual effect. A nd as one Tribune staffer a d d e d , "She's play ing up the fact that she's hot, w hich I think helps." Peter O ch o do : O c h o do 's lowbudget posters w e re unappeal in g — if he had to stick to text alone, w h y p la ce it on a boring w h ite b a ckg ro u n d ? O chodo redeemed himself by putting his first name in large bold letters. W h e n students vote they think of names, not platforms. President A d a m Conter G o o d photo on attractive salmon-coloured paper, a n d cheeky references to past SSMU incom petence— "H ell, it's time w e actually had a presi dent." Another poster w a s equal ly stylish, all black w ith a Conter silhouette in colour. K risto f K a rcza : Unim pressive overall. N ic e colour choices, but the text w a s too small and w e just d id n 't understand the photos. ■

( i j : :

news | 17.3.05 j th e mcgill tribune

P a c k e d PETTY

b r e a k s

fir e

c o d e

POLITICS Continued from cover.

i In

b r ie f

dents. "I have personally missed three classes to be here," said Brian G onynor, U1 History. "I'm sure a lot o f other peo ple chose not to come because o f class. M ost peo ple w h o are here are a lre a d y w illin g to skip class to be here." , Unlike m any Q u e be c universities, a large percentage o f M c G ill students com e from out side Q u e b e c and d o not directly benefit from

EMILY HARRIS CRO had to go The Arts Undergraduate Society fired AUS C hief Returning O fficer Trevor C ra ig last week, citing concerns over his performance in the February AUS elec tion. In addition, AUS council voted Tuesday to withhold $ 5 0 o f C ra ig s $ 3 0 0 stipend, both as a penalty and a stipend for his late-semester replacement if such a person is necessary. The councillors w ere concerned that C ra ig d id not adhere to all o f the election by-laws, sufficiently advertise to attract candidates, or properly advise students ho w to vo te ,, resulting in lower voter turnout than last year. C ra ig admitted that he had made mistakes. "I think I d id everything required of me, but I could have done things better," he said. "I misunderstood the im portance o f student communication and there w as a messy, unwieldy rush at the end o f the election." C ra ig estimated that he put in between 1 5 0 and 200 hours o f w ork during the election period, but conceded that he should have put up more posters. "[Lack of] postering w as the worst failing I ha d ," C ra ig said. "I d id n 't poster enough because I underestimated the im portance o f postering as the prime means o f garnering student interest." To prevent similar situations in the future, C ra ig submitted amendments to the AUS election bydaws in order to clar ify the position o f C RO for his successor. He also created a "C R O handbook," a how-to guide that includes a calendar of tasks and necessary contact information. C ra ig noted that a lack o f commu nication between himself and AUS might have contributed to the problem. "I did n 't ask for a briefing," he said, "and [AUS executives] did n 't give me one."

Itzkowitz dears his name AUS council accepted an a p o lo g y from Vice-President External-elect Jacob Itzkowitz after President Rob Salerno sug gested Itzkowitz might have breached electoral b yla w s. Salerno w a s concerned that

w ise wants to protest— even if it's a matter that w e care very much a b o u t— it doesn't mean that w e have to shut d o w n ." In a statement released last night, the uni versity w a rne d that students w h o strike m ay risk cancelling the semester. "For m any o f our students a t M c G ill, it is essential that their a c a d e m ic year not be disrupt e d ," the press release stated. "They have w orked hard and invested precious time and m oney in their education and there is to o much at risk to je o p a rd ize their a ca d em ic year."

Jacob Itzkowitz. -Itzko w itz may have received "gifts in kind for the purposes o f cam paigning" by accepting a fee for m anaging the cam paigns o f the three other candidates on his "sla te." Kay Turner, C o re y Shefman, and Jennifer O 'D e ll—w h o vyere all candidates for Arts representa tive to the Students' Society—each paid Itzkowitz a cam paign m anager fee of $25. Because AUS had no acting chief returning officer at the time o f Salerno's com plaint, AUS council examined his concerns. Itzkowitz addressed council, a p o lo gizing for any appearance o f mis conduct or illegitimacy. "I a p o lo g ize to AUS for a legitimate concern to the validity of the election," he said. His slate mates also clarified that Itzkowitz d id not solicit the funds out right—they offered to compensate him. Itzkowitz p a id the money back in full as soon as he realized his error. "[The money w as p a id ] with the exp e cta tio n that I w o u ld d o la rge amounts o f w ork for their cam paigns," Itzkowitz said. "I did n 't interpret that as against AUS b yla w s. If I had, I w ouldn't have listed it in financial statements or created receipts." AUS Vice-President (External) Jamie Ferguson-Woods brought forth a motion to accept Itzkowitz's a p o lo g y and extend him a w elcom e into next year's execu tive. "It is obvious [he had] no malicious intent," Ferguson-Woods said. "As a council w e should let that be known [to the p u b lic]." ■

p ro vin cia l loans a n d grants. Nevertheless, A aron D o n n yC la rk, an international student and accla im ed vice-president (community a nd g o v ernment), said that the cuts are pa rt o f an even less favourable age nd a . "This has been w id e ly a n d correctly per ceived, as a first attack to test the waters and see if they can g e t a w a y w ith d o in g this," he said. "I see their next step, if they w e re to g e t a w a y w ith this [cut], as starting to raise tuition, e specially starting w ith international and out o f province tuition." Since the government's decision to cut fin a n cia l a id last spring, student groups have launched a series o f protests a nd cam paigns, from peaceful to m ore aggressive, in the hope that the province w ill reinvest the $ 103-m illion. A cco rd in g to la FEUQ, the $ 103-m illion cut reduces ave ra g e undergraduate bursaries from $ 2 , 4 6 0 to $ 4 0 0 , a nd elim inates g raduate bur saries completely. The adm inistration has a lre a d y notified stu dents by e-mail that the university w ill not accom m odate striking students w h o miss exams or assignments.

However, no student strike in the history o f Q u e b e c has resulted in the cancellation o f an a c a d e m ic term. Yesterday Education M inister Jean-M arc Fournier offered students a com prom ise, saying that tw o measures are being put in p la ce that w o u ld reduce annual student d e b t by 2 5 per cent. The first reduces the d e b t for e lig ib le stu dents w h o g raduate after this spring b y 4 0 per cent. However, to be e lig ib le , the students must g raduate no later than tw o semesters after the standard duration o f their program as w e ll as have received financial a id for the entirety of their post-secondary education. The second proposal is to reduce the stu dent d e b t ceiling. Fournier said that this offer w a s given w ith in the context o f b u dgetary constraints, but that it expressed the government's comm itm ent to keep ing education accessible by ensuring that d e b t does not deter students from pursuing higher education. Principal H eather Munroe-Blum encour a g e d students to a cce p t the offer in the fa ce of severe university underfunding.

"There are 1 4 ,0 0 0 professors w h o have teaching, research, a nd adm inistrative duties," said Dean o f Students Bruce M . Shore. "Just because a g ro u p o f students o ffic ia lly or other

. "The government's offer sends an encourag ing signal and demonstrates a real w illingness to address flaw s in the loans a nd bursaries pro g ra m ," she said in the university's statement. ■

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questions-they w e re a b le to log in as guests. Deputy Returning O ffic e r Tania Jenkins said that more than 3 0 0 messages w e re posted over a three w e e k peri o d . • Elections M c G ills n e w W e b site, w hich operates on a different server from SSM Us, ena bled the elections coordinators to create an unlimited number o f em ail addresses for the candidates. A personal W e b site for:each ca n d id a te w as also set up, for w h ich candidates could submit up to 1 ,5 0 0 w ords a n d three pictures, and choose their ow n d o m ain names. • The form at for the debates

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a llo w e d to ask an unlimited number as w e ll as submit questions by e-mail. IKmm ms4 ? • In a d d itio n , Elections M c G ill initiated a massive inform ation ca m p a ig n i, • Mi - Sj;r; :■Hi "ffe I « 14 mito help students m ake an inform ed decision, a nd to encourage them to , >' O i U' U \ vote. Voter turnout w a s 3 5 .8 per cent, com pared to last year's 1 9 .9

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P» cent ~ the hi9hest in SSMU h'storyDAVE BRODKEY

SPEAKING OF...Corporate P r iv a t e

in f lu e n c e

C o r p o r a t i o n s

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th e mcgill tribune | 17.3.05 | news 5

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1 -8 8 8 -2 7 0 -2 9 4 1 Privatization and corporatization pose significant threats to education, said environmental justice activist and G lob e and M a il columnist Ken W iw a a t C o n c o rd ia last Thursday. O rg a n iz e d b y members o f the M ontreal K now W a r Project, w hich seeks to remove m ilitary contractors from the M c G ill a n d C o n c o rd ia boards o f governors, the lecture w a s jointly sponsored b y M c G ill student groups. In his speech, W iw a d re w upon his experience fighting oil drilling in N ig e ria and addressed the connec tions between human rights, co rpora tions, a nd universities. W iw a , son o f human rights activist Ken S a ro -W iw a , spoke o f the profound influence his father's w ork and devotion to the cause o f the O g o n i peo ple had on his o w n devel opm ent as an activist. S a ro -W iw a , tar geted for his outspoken cham pioning o f the O g o n i struggle against energy comjaany Shell, w a s executed by the Sani A b a ch a regim e in 1 9 9 5 despite international protest. Shell "cooperated a nd conspired w ith the m ilitary governm ent to kill" his father a nd other O g o n i, W iw a said. H e noted the devastating toll Shell's encroachm ent has taken in the re g io n — je o p a rd iz in g the human, cul tural, and environm ental diversity of the N ig e ria n Delta. W iw a recounted the d ecades o f struggle against for eign oil firms, w h ich have taken an estimated $ 100 -billion w orth o f oil revenue out o f the O g o n i region to d a te w h ile givin g little back. Despite its vast oil resources, W iw a said, the N ig e ria n Delta is still "impoverished a na underdeveloped. The insights o f the indigenous peo ple o f the N ig e ria n Delta may help students in their o w n fight against

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co rp o ra te infringem ent on cam pus a n d in the halls o f a ca d e m ia , W iw a a d d ed . H e e xp la in e d that, as w ith count less national governments, universities are under increasing pressure to b o w to private interests. "The nation-state a nd the w ill of the p e o ple have been sold o ff," said W iw a . "There has been a co lo n iza tion o f p ublic spaces by private inter ests." W iw a said there are disturbing parallels betw een the influence o f cor porations in nations and universities. "C orporations can be a force for g o o d , as w e ll as a source o f evil," he said. Placing his people's struggle in the context o f g lo b a liza tio n , W iw a questioned whether there is a w a y for

the w orld's peo ple to w o rk w ithin the structures o f co rp o ra te involvement w h ile still m aintaining their integrity. W iw a attem pted to sh o w that the O g o n i case is not the only exam ple o f peo ple fighting against p ow er ful private interests a nd w ill certainly not be the last. "This is the m orality tale o f the 2 0 th century and speaks to one o f the w orse excesses o f corporate abuse, but it is not an isolated on e ," he said. H e im plored the audience not to a llo w private interests to trump the public g o o d , a nd w a rn e d o f the d a n gers o f the blurred distinction between the dem ocratic institutions o f govern ment, university classrooms, and the corporate boardroom . ■ Visit w w w .k n o w w a r.c a for more

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news | 17.3.05 | th e mcgill tribune

S T U D E N T NEWS

Q U O T A B LES " W e are hoping that the governm ent w ill endorse a n d recognize that practice."

-Vice-Principal IInter-Institutional Relations) Janyne Hodder, speaking at Senate on M arch 2, on the supplemental tuition M cG ill charges international students that exceeds provincial limits.

R o o m to re n t, n o v ie w , u g ly n e ig h b o u rh o o d a n d w ic k e d g u a rd . P e rfe c t fo r th e s u m m e r.

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MONTREAL (Downtown), 255 Shannon tel.: 954-1833

Are you dogged by dogma?

U n iv e r s it y

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S t a t s C a n r e p o r ts d ip , b u t M c G ill b u c k s t r e n d JORDAN SAFER M o re high school students are choosing not to a p p ly to university, a c c o rd in g to a Statistics C a n a d a report released .this year. Universities across C a n a d a have observed that although the after-effect o f the dou ble cohort has just ended, there has been a steady decline in enrolment. The d o u ble cohort w a s an increase in university a p p lica tio ns tw o years a g o after O n ta rio elim inated g ra d e 1 3 from its high school curricu lum, yie ld in g tw o sets o f graduating students. "O n e reason could be that m any o f the courses a t the com m unity col lege level have very high rates o f em ploym ent," said G re g g Blachford, d irector o f C a re e r a nd Placement Services. "There is a b ig dem and for peo ple w ith trades qualifications such as plumbers, electricians, heating and ventilation technicians, builders, and ca r mechanics, all o f w h ich have high rates o f pay." Some students m ay d e cid e on that route instead o f a university career that m ay not have such rosy em ploy ment prospects o r high salaries, he a d d ed . Students m ay reason that attend ing university for a fe w years w ill only return an undergraduate d e g re e — w hich m ay or m ay not lead to w o rk right a w a y —w hereas a technical or vo cational co lle g e d e g re e often leads to professional w o rk immediately. M c G ill, how ever, d e fie s this trend. A c c o rd in g to Q u e b e c's M inistère d e l'Education, in the last

DAVE BRODKEY

McGill's not following the trend—the missing students are just sleeping in, tw o years enrolment has increased by 1 0 .4 per cent overall a nd 5 . 4 per cent at M c G ill. A letter to the e d ito r in the February 2 2 issue o f the Regina Leader Post notes that the StatsCan report is faulty because the survey focused on students living in a fam ily home.

"Full-time enrolm ent has swelled by a further 1 3 0 , 0 0 0 in the past three years," said C la ire M . M orris, presi dent o f the Association o f Universities and C olleges o f C a n a d a , "a nd there are no indications that the trend to higher enrolm ent levels w ill reverse itself in the foreseeable future." ■

ANGLES G a y

m a r r ie d e a t

t e r r o r is t s

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JOSH WILNER

We are undogmatic. T h e U n ita ria n c o m m u n ity h a s n o fix e d d o c tr in e o r c re e d . W e b e lie v e t h a t “ t r u t h ” is e v e r-e v o lv in g , a n d w e r e m a in o p e n to n e w

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"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. "

— William James oothsayers pushing fam ily values are prophesys ing that the redefinition o f m arriage as "the lawful union o f tw o persons to the exclusion o f all others" m ight spell the end for h a p p y fam ilies and well-adjusted children. Are they dreamers? M a n y opponents o f same-sex m arriage v ie w the C ivil M a rria g e Act, w hich is currently being d e b ate d in the House o f Com m ons, as the legal insti tutionalization o f a massive— a nd very risky— social experiment. They claim that redefining m arriage m ight harm children because there is currently insuffi cient research on the potential developm ental effects o f being raised b y a same-sex couple. Is this a w o rry ab o ut the w e lfa re o f children, or is it disguised discrim ination against homosexuals? To be sure, the m ajority o f p e o ple concerned for children and fam ily values aren't hom ophobes o r les bian lynchers. They're responsible, upstanding p eo ple w h o are sim ply troubled b y the potential conse quences o f le g a lizin g g a y m arriage. But even sensi ble peo ple can harbour prejudice. To say that w e need em pirical evidence o f the fitness o f same-sex co u p le s to raise c h ild re n bespeaks a fundam ental dou ble standard, for there is abundant evidence that m any heterosexual cou ples are unfit to raise children. Som ehow that gets conveniently ignored. The ch ild h o o d w e lfa re crusade in this country w ears g a y blinders. It is fixated w ith the "threat"

posed by same-sex couples and ignores all the terri ble "tra d itio n a l" parents— for no other reason, it seems, than that they are heterosexual— w h o neglect their children. The co gnitive dissonance o f fam ily val ues advocates is pa lp a ble. W h e th e r intended o r not, this kind o f reasoning has the effect o f pa tho lo g izin g hom osexuality as a "co nd itio n " that needs to be "tested" so that w e can determ ine its "effects." (And perhaps find a “cure"?) It's not just that fa m ily values groups are hyper critical o f homosexuals; they're also hypocritical (liter a lly "under-critical") a b o u t the state o f m arriage. W h a t is seen depends on w h a t is sought, and because some things are seen, other things are not. There are reasons, based on solid em pirical evi dence, that the age-old institution o f m arriage is no longer so sacred, and that it is in dire need o f revam ping. C a n a d a's d ivorce rate is one o f the high est in the w o rld , a nd is n o w fivefold w h a t it w a s less than 4 0 years a g o . This does not b o d e w e ll for the state o f fam ily values in our society, nor is it prom ising for child w e l fare. Reams o f studies over the past 2 0 years have found that children from divorced families themselves have higher rates o f divorce, depression, school fa il ure, a nd teenage pregnancy, as the G lob e and M ail noted in an editorial on Friday. In heeding threats foretold, let's b e w a re realisti cally. H

th e mcgill tribune | 17.3,05 | news

SPEAKING OF...Gender B o r n s t e in

b re a k s

c a m p u s lis t in g s

b a r r ie r s

W HAT

A r tis t a n d a c t iv is t c h a lle n g e s t h e g e n d e r d iv id e NIALL MACKAY ROBERTS Kate Bornstein defies definitions, and that's exactly h o w Kate Bornstein wants it. The American transgender activist, writer, and performance artist spoke to a full auditorium last Thursday as part of Q ueer M cG ill's annual Pride W eek. Bornstein—w h o prefers the pro nouns "ze" and "hir" to the dichotom y of "h e /sh e " and “ h im /h e r"— has earned a sizeable fo llo w in g across N orth America and Europe for hir w ork on gender studies. Hir books are now taught regularly in courses at many uni versities, including M cG ill. In hir presentation, Bornstein mixed performance art and personal history— often engaging the audience directly in conversation—to relate hir own experi ences with gender and transgenderism. Ze touched on a multitude of issues, at one moment making light o f the rigidity o f male-female pronoun usage, at another vividly recounting moments of sexual harassment. "I don't know ho w to be a girl," Bornstein told the audience. "I certainly don't know how to be a boy. I spent all this time thinking about w hat it means to be each, and I decided neither is really worth all the trouble." Bornstein, w h o has spent much of hir life challenging gender presump tions, explained hir conception of gen der as fluid, individual, and too often dictated by social norms. "I w as born male and raised male, but I went through a gender change because male did n 't w ork for me,"

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March 161 8, 7pm

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For only a toooie, you can get a listing in the print and online editions of the Rib. Drop by the SSMU office {Brown Student Building, Suite 1200) to pick up o form. Deadlines are Fridays at 3:30pm. For more information, email catendar@tribune.mcglB.ca

C A M P U S NEWS A c c e s s

M c G ill

re tu rn s

S tu d e n t d u b

fig h ts fo r d i s a b l e d s t u d e n t s

BENUI FELDMAN

Transgender issues on campus could use improvement. commnity and its allies. "Through visibility, I think [Bornstein's presentation] w as bringing more attention to trans issues," Toth said. "But there still needs to be more. The names of common usage policy [at M c G ill] w ould be a progressive move. There's still no anti-discrimination policy, and that has to happen." Bornstein echoed the call for new perspectives in future discussions of gen der and transgender issues, noting specifically the unique experiences of female-to-male transsexuals. "There's a gender virus moving through North A m e rica —an unstop pable virus," Bornstein said. "M ore and more people are defining for themselves w hat it means to be a man, w h a t it means to be a w om an. ... I w ant more voices in this discourse." ■

Bornstein said. "A few years later, I dis covered female didn't w ork for me any better, and I settled into being neither." M atthew Toth, co-administrator of Q ueer M cG ill, saw the evening as a successful part of this year's Pride W e e k activities. "I thought it was brilliant," he said. "Kate's talk w as something that— no matter how much you knew about trans politics or postmodern gender theory— you could really take something a w a y from. Kate was able to question these things you hold as absolutes... and then present them in a new and really engaging w ay." Toth did, however, see room for improvement in transgender issues on campus. He pointed to presentations like Bornstein's as only part of the progress tow ard appropriately recog nizing the interests of the transgender

C A M P U S NEWS S ic k

WHO.

lo s in g

s tu d e n ts

M c G ill m a y in t r o d u c e

SONDIP CHATTERJEE Faculty members in the M athem atics departm ent are dis cussing the possible addition o f an actuarial math program to M cG ill's existing curricula. In the meantime, cur rent a nd prospective M ath students w ill have to study elsewhere to prepare for their actuary accreditation exams. Actuaries are responsible for pre dicting, assessing, and solving undesir a b le financial situations. They design feasible pension and insurance plans, and can even calculate the likelihood of mechanical failure of a given auto mobile make and model. Professor G e o rg Schmidt, director of the undergraduate math program at M c G ill, said that M c G ill does not need an actuarial math program. "O ur Statistics group is spread very thin w ith teaching commitments," he said, explaining that several new professors w o u ld need to be hired if a new program w ere introduced to the department. "Besides, the tradition is to get a general math degree first and then train as an actuary." The director of C oncordia's actu a ria l program , José G a rrid o , dis agreed. "W h e n w ill M c G ill w a ke up?" he said. "Undergraduate programs d e d i cated to actuarial math have been offered for at least 20 years.

C o n c o r d ia

a c t u a r ia l m a t h

p ro g ra m

M cG ill, when C oncordia, Université de M ontréal, and U Q A M all offer a ctu a ria l program s? M a n y former C on co rd ia actuarial students seem to think so. "I a pplied and w as accepted to M cG ill's M ath program, but they had no actuarial program and ! w ould have to take supplementary courses not offered by M c G ill," said Stephanie Steinbrenner, a former actuary student w h o chose to study at C on co rd ia over M cG ill solely because o f its actuarial program. M a n y o f her classmates were also accepted to M cG ill, but had no choice but to g o to C oncordia. Current M c G ill M ath students are interested as well. "Q uite a number o f M c G ill stu dents make inquiries about becom ing actuaries," said Sancho. ment. Furthermore, it seems that M c G ill "That's ridiculous—this is a ‘major' is continues to lose prospective math program ," he said. "It’s not easy and I students to other universities because of don't think [a minor] w ill take off," this issue. However, the M ath department "I received an e-mail from a coun offers several courses that can partially sellor at John A b b o t C o lle g e ," said Dr. prepare a student for the actuary pro K .N . G o w ri-S an ka ra n , ch a ir o f fession. These courses, along with the M cG ill's M ath department. "A number addition of a fe w more, could lead to o f his students w ant to g o to M c G ill but the creation o f an actuarial math pro also w a n t to study actuarial math— gram. they'll have to g o to C on co rd ia ." "W e just need a faculty member Nevertheless, he is w illing to con to take on the project," said M a rc o sider the implementation o f a special Carone, U3 Probability and Statistics. ized program if enough interested stu Are students really interested in dents contact him directly. ■ studying a ctu a ria l mathem atics at

These specialized programs train students for the first four o f eight actuar ial accreditation exams. After passing the first four exams, an individual can be em ployed as an associate actuary and comm and an annual salary of between $ 5 0 ,0 0 0 and $ 1 0 0 ,0 0 0 . "In a competitive market, not hav ing an actuarial math degree puts you behind," said G arrido. Jobs Rated Almanac, a ranking of 2 5 0 professions based on la w stress and high demand, salary, and autono my, places actuaries second. A t a recent departmental meet ing, M athem atics professors discussed the possibility of creating a minor focus ing on actuarial math. However, its implementation seems unlikely, accord ing to N eville Sancho, chief under graduate advisor for the M ath depart

TRACI JOHNSON Students are trying to resurrect Access M c G ill, a club that helps stu dents w ith disabilities on campus. The club has been inactive for the past three years, but the need for support for those w ith both physical a nd learning disabilities has not decreased. Samuel Konig, U3 Arts, is lead ing the ca m p a ig n to bring back Access M c G ill. "There is a need for a forum to discuss issues and to educate other students on w h a t it means to have a disability," he said. “W e w a n t the d u b to be more social than political so that people have a com fortable p la ce to talk about their disabilities and to learn from each other." Last week, the club held a meet ing to discuss h o w Access M c G ill can serve students and reach out to the community. Students at the meet ing voiced concern a b o ut issues a ffe ctin g p e o p le w ith A ttention Deficit Disorder and dyslexia and expressed relief a t having found a place to talk about their disabilities. A ccording to the O ffic e for Students w ith Disabilities, there are 5 6 0 peo ple registered there with some type o f disability, but rules of confidentiality make it difficult for stu dents w ith similar disabilities to meet one another. "Learning disabilities are some thing that some peo ple are a fra id to talk a b o ut," Koriig said. "It w a s g o o d just to have peo ple come together and share with each other." Students a t the m eeting also

expressed concern a b o ut the lack of services on cam pus for people with physical disabilities. O n e student spoke o f his efforts to im prove co n d i tions a t M a c d o n a ld campus, w here m any o f the main buildings lack w heelchair ramps. M em bers o f the Faculty o f Architecture are scheduled to visit the campus to see w h a t can be d one to im prove accessibility. Safety for students w ith physical disabilities is also a concern a t the d o w n to w n cam pus. Brenda C hom ey, a M aster's student in bioethics, broke her tib ia when she slid on ice w a lkin g to class. “ M c G ill is not a disabled-friend ly cam pus," she said. "The side walks are not properly salted, there are very fe w ramps, and people in w heel chairs cannot get around." C hom ey a d d e d that services for disa b le d students are poorly advertised. Joan W olfo rth , director o f the O ffic e for Students w ith Disabilities, disagreed. "If you look on the M c G ill w e b p a g e, the O ffic e for Students with D isa b ilitie s is v e ry prom inently pla ce d and there is a list o f the types o f service w e offer," she said. "W e have had over a 10 0 students with tem porary disabilities use our servic es this year, so they are finding us. " Konig also pointed to the lack o f w h e e lch a ir accessibility on cam pus. "Right n o w there is no lift to the basement o f R edpath,” he said. "Access M c G ill can be both a w a tc h d o g group for things like that and a social group." ■

NEWS BRIEF M cG ill purchases W ebCT upgrade M c G ill has signed a five year contract with W e b C T to upgrade from the current "Campus" edition to the more modern "Vista" version. Scheduled for completion by September 2 0 0 6 , this m ajor upgrade w ill ensure that every class has W e b access and makes it easier for profes sors to create and maintain courses online, said Deputy Provost and Chief Information O ffice r Anthony M asi. The Senate Com m ittee on Information Systems and Technology found that the Campus edition is unable to accom m odate the number of students seeking access to W ebCT. "Vista is a more modern version that is more suited to a larger cam pus," M asi said. In terms of cost, M asi said that im proving information technology is a "m ajor investment," but a d ded that the cost of the system change is with-

e b C T

in the current budget. The upgrade w ill be completed over the course o f a year, with a peri od of overlap between Campus and Vista in the meantime. Shelagh Daley, U1 Political Science, said that W e b C T is an im portant tool for students, but is “ underused by professors." Vista fea tures like the "Learning O b je c t M anager," w hich reuses and distrib utes academ ic content, may help p ro fessors operate W e b C T with greater ease. "W e are implementing a more intuitive and ped ag o g ica lly sound sys tem," M asi said.

— Terri Alderfer

Éw hine factory

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E v e r s u s p ic io u s

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^editorial Self-justification never tasted this fishy

S t r ik in g

From: Sent on behalf o f Principal Heather Munroe-Blum

c h o r d ?

Dear fe llo w members o f the M c G ill community, Yes, it's me. Or, to be more specific, it's me as channeled by a pub lic relations underling.

*Power is not revealed by striking hard or often, but by striking true. " — H onoré d e Balzac rustrated b y the provincial governm ents F refusal to reverse its conversion last spring o f $ 10 3 -m illion from grants to loans, more than 7 0 , 0 0 0 post-secondary students across the province are striking in the hope that the m oney w ill be reinvested in the upcom ing provincial budget. The strike is the cul m ination o f a fruitless ye a r o f both action and pol iticking. In one sense, students have on ly their lo w voter turnout to blam e for their in a b ility to make their voices heard. But Premier Jean Charest and Education M inister Jean-M arc Fournier clearly d o not take students seriously, even w hen they are active Liberals. A t a Liberal Party convention in Novem ber, form er Education M inister Pierre Reid so w atered d o w n a Liberal Youth Commission m otion as to render it meaningless, then claim ed it as a victory for students. The provincial governm ent claims that stu dents are unw illing to com prom ise, but taking on any de b t a t all is a com prom ise in itself. Last M o n d a y, after a ye a r o f student negotiations and demonstrations, Fournier reaffirm ed that he has no intention o f reinvesting the $ 103-m illion. There is no o ption left. O f course, tuition fees for Q u e b e c residents have been frozen for over a d e ca de , but despite that, activists argue that the c a p should remain a nd the relative value o f tuition be gra d u a lly reduced, because education needs to be free. However, it w o u ld be easier to side w ith strikers if they wese realistic a b o ut the notion o f raising tuition. But instead o f a d vo catin g that those w h o can p a y more should—a nd that this w in d fa ll should g o tow ards bursaries for those w h o ca n 't afford their e d u ca tio n —they can only suggest that tuition be effectively elim inated altogether, a strat e g y that doesn't address the question o f w here the m oney to support universities is g o in g to com e from. Clearly, pa yin g for an education in Q u e be c is not something students should com plain about. Everything gets more expensive over time, from oranges to books, a n d tuition should not be an exception. In Q u e be c, students should be thankful that this investment is so ch e a p co m pared to else where. If students outside Q u e b e c, graduating w ith tens o f thousands o f dollars in student debt, knew that Q uebecers p a y less than $ 3 , 0 0 0 in tuition and student fees for a full ye a r at M c G ill,

O ve r the past fe w weeks and days, you m ay have seen unflattering stories in the m edia a b o ut the M uslim Students' Association's request for perm anent prayer space a t M c G ill.

they p ro b a b ly w o u ld not have too much sympathy for this unreasonable strike. Then a g a in , this strike is not d irectly about tuition— it's also ab o ut debt, w here Q u e b e c stu dents have a legitim ate gripe. The $ 103-m illion cut w ill increase average student de b t upon g ra d uation from $ 1 3 ,0 0 0 to $ 2 1 ,5 0 0 . That's higher than the C a n a d ia n a ve ra g e o f $ 2 1 ,2 0 0 , a figure p rovided by the C a n a d a M illennium Scholarship Foundation.

I w o u ld like to take advantage o f my access to student e-mail lists to present my side o f the story w ithout giving M S A a chance to respond in kind. The university does not subsidize student clubs, nor does it provide space to student clubs on a permanent basis. If the Students' Society wish es to offer space to M uslim adherents a t M c G ill, m any o f w hom are not members o f M S A or even students, it can d o so at its o w n expense. M c G ill has been w orking with M uslim students and SSMU to help them find a permanent off-campus solution. Unfortunately, M S A represen tatives w ill not meet with the university w ithout representatives o f the C a n a d ia n Council on American-lslamic Relations.

Still, even if the cause is worthy, it's a wellknown fact that striking on ly works if you can hope to extract something from those you are striking against b y hurting their bottom line. But M c G ill stu dents are not members o f a union, and the govern ment feels no pressure to change from our sim ply not g o in g to class. Indeed, w h a t w ill those w h o d o strike accom plish? The 2 0 0 peo ple w h o w ill show up to vote in favour o f a strike a t the G eneral Assembly are the same 20 0 w h o m arched at last month's demonstration, and they'll be the 200 w h o are standing outside Roddick G ates picketing. But if professors d o n 't cancel classes, most other stu dents w o n 't join them — m aking it seem like M c G ill students are crossing picket lines, w h ich w ill look worse to the Q u e b e c com m unity than not striking a t all. Further, those w h o d o choose to participate w ill be thinking, "O h , cool, a strike, let's join," w ithout having a n y real motive or conviction, thus diluting the m eaning o f the cause they are support ing.

Despite this stance, w hich is regrettable, w e w ill continue to over whelm the defenceless M S A w ith our considerable expertise and experi ence. It is not known h o w m any M uslim students study a t M c G ill or w h a t percentage actually use the current prayer space. M S A m ay be inflating these numbers w hen they really use the space as a lounge in which to play foosball. Thank you for considering my arguments. HMB

Presidential ignorance to cramp SSMU's style Non-Am erican M c G ill undergrads w ill soon understand w h a t it's like to have an o a f as their president. A t Thursday's presidential debate, the tw o candidates for SSMU pres ident displayed an impressive lack o f understanding a b o ut the position, leading us to conclude that the general SSMU population is go in g to be represented by a boor. C a ll us crazy, but an organization that has been a c c re d ite d — a nd is thus our legal representative— should be headed b y someone w h o has know ledge o f the letter o f agreement. The letter, in case yo u're w o ndering, is just a little piece o f p a p er that defines SSMU's entire relationship with M c G ill. The only reason you are forgiven for not know ing this is that you are not running for president.

Strikes only succeed if all those involved believe in them, as in the case o f a union. O therw ise, they merely serve to a n ta g o n ize stu dents, professors, M c G ill staff, and the govern ment, and could therefore backfire, instead o f helping students realize tan gible gains through means such as discussion and negotiation. That said, the strike should not be dismissed sim ply because out-of-province students, w h o p a y higher tuition a n d are in e ligible for Q u e b e c bur saries, feel the issue does not matter to them. It does matter. Education politics in Q u e b e c does not occur in a vacuum —the federal governm ent a nd other provinces w ill take their cues from ho w students respond to education cuts in Q u e be c. O n e thing is for sure: the strike w ill not w o rk unless students take pa rt w holeheartedly. It w ill not w o rk if some students sit in half-empty classrooms. It w ill not w o rk unless it includes M c G ill. ■

A learning curve is part o f every job, but unfortunately, in this case, there isn't time enough for a learning curve, because the term only lasts for one year, not 17. W e must ad m it that it's obvious that A dam Conter, a t least, has been do in g some homework. W e must also adm it that he is fed up with hideous ly disorganized C ouncil meetings and the lack o f confidence students have in the position, as he has vo iced these opinions every chance he has had. But w e all kn o w w h a t happens to idealists w h o get into politics to change the status quo. Kristof Karcza, on the other hand, has not d one any research, as he doesn't even know that the main objective o f his ow n platform doesn't even fall under the SSMU president's jurisdiction. The ch oice w as yours, student body, but you d id n 't really have much to choose from. Better luck next year. ■

4_off the board I q u it

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fr ie n d s DEENA MOREHOUSE

t w a sn 't a N e w Year's resolution as much as it w a s an l-haveno-money-left resolution. O n e Saturday night in January, I took a d e e p breath, m ilking that last d ra g for a ll it w as w orth, a nd put out my cigarette.

Two weeks later, I sat d o w n and p ondered my new lifestyle, and realized that I did feel healthier a n d better ab o ut myself, it was nice not to smell like a w a lkin g ashtray, and my non-smoking friends w e re all in cre d ib ly supportive. By support-

T h in k a b o u t those b la c k -a n d -w h ite m o vie s in w h ich the w o rd s "d o y o u h a v e a lig h t?" alm o st a lw a y s m e an "from n o w o n o u r fates a re intertw in ed ." ive, I mean they said things like, "It's gre a t that y o u 're not dis gusting anym ore." Still, I a p p re cia te d their efforts to be nice. Then there w e re the cons. In those tw o weeks, I had g a in e d a b o ut 5 6 pounds, but that d id n 't w o rry me too much, since I could n o w use an e llip tica l m achine for longer than 45 seconds w ithout hyperventilating. W h a t bothered me w a s that

my social circle had decreased to a b o u t half its size. Say w h a t you w ill a b o u t cancer, w asting money, a n d smelling aw ful, but the truth is that smokers have more friends. It's a culture only smokers or former smokers w ill under stand, a nd once you buy your first p a c k o f cigarettes you are initiated into their exclusive w o rld o f sharing the go o ds, b o n d ing w ith each other in the freezing co ld , a n d being ostracized by e ve ryb o d y w h o doesn't understand your a d d ictio n . Think a b o u t those black-andw h ite movies in w h ich the w ords "d o you have a light?" alm ost a lw a ys mean "from n o w on our fates a re in tertw ined." Those five little w ords have begun countless real life friendships that trag ica lly end after one person decides they d o n 't w a n t to d ie an e a rly a nd painful death. Anyone w h o has been told by tw o o r more friends that sm oking is unhealthy knows that they w ill suddenly band together to fight a com m on enem y— the self-righteous nonsmoker. "Leave us alone, they're our lungs," one w ill say.

"Yeah," the other w ill say, a nd a n e w com m onground is established. Smokers a lw a ys ask if they can bum cigarettes, not bor ro w them, because there is no such thing as cigarette debt. It's understood that if you a re ever in the position o f too broke or too la zy to g e t your o w n pack, you can just ask and you shall receive. A nd you shall receive not just a mere cigarette, but a decent conversation as w e ll. It's am a zin g w h a t total strangers w ill say to each other in the smoking section o f an a irp o rt or right outside an o ffice b uilding. But o nce you quit your filthy, disgusting habit, you are no longer privy to w h a t goes on in C aféram a's sm oking section or on the porch a t a house party. You spend most o f your time w ith non-smokers in an effort to stay on the w a g o n a nd your former sm oking buddies begin to resent y o u for ditching them You lo n g in g ly look a t the g ro u p that's hea ding outside for a q u ick smoke, realizing that you w ill be missing out on some sort o f intense discussion that just w o n 't happen indoors, no matter h o w much beer is involved. For a w h ile , it's lonely, but the quitter a lw a ys finds a w h o le n e w g ro u p o f friends— other recent quitters w h o need som eone to bitch and moan w ith. ■

the mcgill tribune | 17.3.05 j opinion 9

The

McGill Tribune Curiosity delivers. E d it o r - in - C h ie f

Natalie Fletcher editor@tribune.mcgill.ca M a n a g i n g E d it o r

James Scarfone seniored@tribune.mcgill.ca N e w s E d it o r s

Jennifer Jett Laura Saba Lisa Varano tribnews@tribune.mcgill.ca F e a t u r e s E d it o r s

Liz Allemang Panthea Lee features@tribune.mcgill.ca A & E E d it o r s

Daniel Chodos Lise Treutler arts@tribune.mcgill.ca

S a cre d co w s

B u ild

it a n d

th e y

w ill c o m e JEFF R O B E R T S

jeff. roberts@elf.mcgi II.ca ike it 01 not, M c G ill has the better argum ent this time. The issue is a b o ut as p rickly as they com e, but the university is correct in affirm ing that it has no positive o b lig a tio n to p rovide a campus prayer space for Muslims. Before getting into the harder questions, let's begin by reiterating tw o facts that are more or less incontrovertible. First, M c G ill is a secular institution; it is a p ublic p la ce w h ose prim ary m andate is to prom ote teaching, learning, and research. Second, M c G ill is full. N e a rly every square foot on this campus is being put to use. Those w h o d o u b t this need on ly lo o k a t class rooms w ith students seated on the floor, or a t TAs packed cheek by jo w l in shoebox-like office spaces. If more room is to be created, it must be built a t a price. Construction and real estate are not cheap, and the university must p a y for it like everyone else. If the cam pus assigns space for religious purposes, it w ill sim ultaneously be forced to a llo ca te scarce resources to buy, bor row, or build elsewhere. The m oney it expends w ill be diverted from the school's core a ca d em ic mission, m eaning that one or several d epart ments w ill be shortchanged o f labs, class space, o r teachers. The school is right in d e cid in g that

and w e ll o rg a n ize d , and a b le to a ct together. N o r should m oney be an issue as M c G ill Muslims have m any friends in the city am ong academ ics, alumni, a nd merchants. The universi ty itself has a lre a d y show ed g o o d faith in offer ing staff a n d adm inistrative support to any fundraising efforts that are undertaken. This solution, though obvious, w ill not please everyone. C ertain individuals in the M uslim comm unity w ill continue to seek political advancem ent by ba yin g for confrontation at every turn. The cam pus papers w ill duly serve them by gullib ly la p p in g up their arguments. N o matter. There is no reason that those seeking prayer space cannot w a d e past the dem a gogues and get to w o rk on raising m oney to obtain it. The alternatives to this solution are not pleas ant. A d a n ce at the human rights commission w ill create tens o f thousands o f dollars in legal fees for both sides, m oney that could be much better spent elsewhere. Such a scenario w ill further serve only to com pound animosities, and thw art the g o a l o f M c G ill's Muslims to be fully integrat ed into the university community. M c G ill has behaved in g o o d faith; it is time for campus Muslims to d o the same. ■

these latter needs take precedence over religious demands. This is not, o f course, the end o f the matter. M uslim activists are unlikely to w ith d ra w their dem ands in the near future. A nd those fond o f conspiracies w ill be h a p p y to spread d a rk hints that the adm inistration's decision w a s driven by Jewish o r Christian interests w h o seek to discrim i nate against the M uslim community. W h ile this is hardly the case, Muslims d o have cause to feel m arginalized given that other religious groups at M c G ill have not only their o w n space, but their o w n buildings such as H illel o r N e w m a n House. The solution to this dilem m a is not dram atic, but it is time-honoured and obvious. The campus M uslim com m unity should fo llo w in the footsteps o f dozens o f groups before them, a nd raise funds to lease or buy space o f their o w n . U p and d o w n streets like Peel, Stanley, a nd University, M c G ill is ringed by fraternities, religious orders, a nd com munity groups that have w o rked to o btain build ings ror themselves. There is no reason campus Muslims cannot d o the same. W h ile Muslims a t M c G ill m ay once have lacked the c a p ita l or cohesion to pursue such a project, that is no longer the case. The comm uni ty has repeatedly shown that it is both confident

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S p o r t s E d it o r s

Mohit Arora Andrew Segal sports@tribune.mcgill.ca P h o t o E d it o r s

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eth is dangling upside dow n. It's raining and he's stuck. H e w ould be terrified, but he finds his predicam ent hysterical. W a tch in g him is Summer Roberts; she steps forw a rd and then it

C o p y E d it o r

Sam Goffman sam.goffman@mail.mcgill.ca

happenes. "W e regret to interrupt this program with an important message from Premier Jean Charest." Poof-hair is sweating visibly, but he m anages to smile: "M es chers amis, recently there has been a great deal o f disturbance over m y'governm ent s proposed university education reform s...” Stacia, U 2 Cultural Studies, and her best friend M elody, U 2 Psych, look mortified. W ith a gasp, M elocly murmurs, "O h no, he didn't." Stacia, recovering from her shock, blurts, "That pig

D e s ig n E d it o r s

Lara Bekhazi Benji Feldman Heather Kitty Mak design@tribune.mcgill.ca O n l in e E d it o r

Lynne Hsu online@tribune.mcgill.ca A d v e r t is in g M a n a g e r

Paul Slachta advmgr@ssmu.mcgill.ca A d T ypesetter

Shawn Lazare Pu bu sh er

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fucker!" And just like that, it started. Rising up from the Ghetto, fists raised, Ugg boots buffed, sans culotte a d o rn e d they cam e. Torches w e re lit, feet marched, a nd before long, it w a s a parade o f fire. A chant rose up, "Bring back The O .C .I Bring back The O .C .I A t the M ilton gates they w ere met by a group of student activists. C om rade Vikander of the Red Squarish Vaguely Rectangular O blong-shaped Class W a rfa re O rganization spoke: "Ladies, is Jean Charest just another C a le b N ich o l? W ill he

r e v o lu t io n

w ill b e

t e le v is e d ?

J E R E M Y M O R R IS

marry Julie C o o p e r and steal $ 103-m illion in bur saries? I think so." At that, a call of, "Lynch him, lynch him!" echoed through the gates. In the crow d, Stacia and M e lo d y met their sisters (figuratively and b io lo g ica lly speaking, vo) C in d y and Harmony, both U1 IDS. M e lo d y whis pered to her friend, "B lah—w h a t are they w ear ing? Random scarves, your mom's jewelry, and w o o l? " Stacia answered, "And they smell like lentils and old cheese." C in d y and Harm ony retort ed, "W h y w ould you w a n t to w e a r footw ear that sounds like a grunt?" "Yeah, girls, d id you kill StBernard's and strap them to your calves?" Stacia and M e lo d y replied, "Eat a turnip, ladies, the real ultimate outsider is Ryan, he's so d re a m y..." A t that moment, the m ob surged forw ard d o w n rue University. The ladies sw arm ed motorists, pulled them from their vehicles, and dem anded, "W hat's the name o f Seth Cohen's sailboat?" "S ailboat o f Love?" answered the motorists. They w ere quickly strung up on lampposts. W in d o w s w ere smashed, buildings burned to the ground (just like Ryan, he's the real ultimate outsider), buses flipped, as the crow d marched towards the M inistry o f Education. At the head of the procession, Jane screeched and screeched

and screeched against those salopes d'hostie d'anglos de Westmount. Stacia murmured to M elody, "She is pretty smarty, isn't she?" M e lo d y replied, "And she smells like hummus too." O utside the Ministry, the m ob w as addressed b y activist-par-excellence Jessie Rozensmeld: "Ladies, any use o f force is justified if it helps the student movement." The crow d muttered. He con tinued, "Remember, you d o n 't know if Summer w ill kiss Seth at the end o f season two, episode 14 and it's all their fa u lt... and the $ 103-m illion bur sary cut." The doors o f the Bastille w ere smashed dow n, an orange flag fle w from the roof, and the girls sang Postal Service songs. Minister o f Education Jean-Marc Fournier w as dra g g e d out. "Ladies, these proposals are unreal istic. Q u e be c has the highest level of taxation in North Am erica w ith the lowest tuition costs and w e receive transfer payments from the other provinces. This is not sustainable if w e are to reinvest in edu cation and remain competitive. There has to be a readjustment." But the ladies w o u ld n 't listen; the loss o f The O .C . w a s too painful, too, like, half an hour a g o . "C ut off his balls," they screamed. He pleaded and begged, but the torches and knives closed around his stricken person to tear him limb from limb. ■

C o lla bo ra to rs

Kayvon Afshari, Terri Alderfer, M iria m A ro n o w icz, M e g a n Briggs, Dave Brodkey, S ondip Chatterjee, M a rk C hodos, Lauren Consky, Trevor C ra ig , Christine Cullen, V ladim ir Eremin, Katherine Fugler, James G o to w ie c, A m anda G reenm an, Sarah G rynpas, Xiang G u , A dam Heller, Seema Jethalal, Traci Johnson, Leora Katz, Jordan Langlois, Ben Lemieux, Cristina M arkh a m , Dan M c Q u illa n , Rachel M elnik, M elissa M iller, Jeremy M orris, Theresa M urphy, David N a ta f, Sid Pharasi, M elissa Price, Jeff Roberts, N ia ll M a c k a y Roberts, Jordan Safer, Julia Shonfield, Elisha Siegel, Josh W iln e r

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The McGill Tribune is on editorially autonomous newspaper published by “ e n f c 'S ^ o p ^ r ? b u ^ m e ^ i l |Al SUA n ^ t h '- ^ K n e Publlcori^ & Thrust and Reaction Engine must include contributors name, program and year, and Ç ^ ta c into . reserves the riaht to edit all contributions Editorials are decided upon and written by the editorial board. A ^ o l^ r ^ ^ i o ^ 'a r ^ s f r k ^ ^ th o ^ o f ^ t h e autfior'andrd o ^ o t nœess<?ily r e f l ^ t^ e ^ p in ^ o n ^ f^ h e /M ^ i/rrib u n e 0^ rSricxsVr^risrs?aff*^leasea recycle this newspaper. Subscriptions a v a i l a b l e for $ & 0 0 per year.

10 opinion j 17.3.05 | th e mcgill tribune

Ain't nothing but a P thang S i

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t infuriates me that Q u e b e c students take for granted the extraordinary ben efits they receive in subsidized educa tion a nd d o not realize that the actions taken to reduce the bursary fund w ill help them, as w e ll as all o f Q u e b e c, in the end. Q u e b e c university students' tuition is approxim ately 3 0 per cent o f the national average, a nd they cannot expect this blatant overuse o f taxpayers' m oney to continue. The socialist spend thrift governm ents of the Parti Q u é b é c o is have left the province's econom y in a state o f com plete disarray and serious steps must be taken to resolve this problem . The peo ple o f Q u e be c m ay be accustom ed to a province overrun by unions a nd governm ent handouts such as subsidized education. However, they d o not realize that these policies are not

The socialist spendthrift governments of the Parti Québécois have left the province's economy in a state of complete disarray and serious steps must be taken to resolve this problem.

» :;V

For those gracious individuals that were w illing to look beyond physical appearances— G o d bless their souls— I still could not befriend them in my pre-Facebook days, for I have an atrocious memory. I w ould stare blankly at those w h o said hi to me on the streets, and w ra ck my brain trying to figure out w here I knew them from, but my attempts w ere always in vain. Ensuing conversation w as always extremely a w kw a rd. Today, when such inci dents occur, I can simply run home and enlist the help o f the almighty Facebook. I can browse through the thousands o f mug shots on the site until I find the person w h o said hi to me. Then, the next time I see the individual in question, instead o f stammering something about hating the weather and having too much w ork (yawn), I can come out with gems such as, "W h y Hector, it is just marvelous to see youl H o w are you doing these days? Say, h o w is that Physiology 5 1 7 Artificial O rgans class you're taking? Your birthday is com ing up in three days, isn't it? W ill I be invited to your party? W hat's that you say? W e don't really know each other? That's no p roblem ... w e both love Radiohead and Pink Floyd, w hat else do you need?" The Facebook has done wonders for my social life. Instead of being some random awk-

w a rd girl, I have n o w reached a new level of j the social ladder: I am n o w known as that ; creepy girl w h o prowls the Facebook and : knows w a y too much information about you. For the Facebook naysayer, I say get off i your high horse and join the party. "The j Facebook is just a popularity contest, its just | about showing off the number of friends you j have," cry the too-cool-for-Facebook crow d. J O h, ho w w rong you are. The Facebook is not | about showing off the number of friends you j have; rather, it is about showing off just how i pushy and creepy you can be. It is about prov- j ing your resourcefulness in tracking dow n every t single person with whom you have ever I crossed paths. The girl w h o shared a couch 1 with you in the crow ded Shatner lounge, or p e r-1 haps the guy you saw at BDP the other night | who's friends with the brother o f that girl w h o j lived with you in Rez... they're all fair game. | They all w ant to validate you, to boost your ! friend count, and to inflate your ego. So, my fellow ugly and socially a w kw ard 1 brothers and sisters, our d a y has arrived. The j Facebook is our chance to overcome d iscrim i-1 nation and join the ranks o f individuals with ! friends, so make g o o d use of it. I wish you the 1 best of luck in scamming some friends for your- 1 self and, remember, creepy is the new cool. ■ I

Neurotica

|n( f P r in c e s s

rfe iâ l cristina. markham@maii. mcgill. ca

—Jordan Langlois is a U3 International Business student.

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the best w a y for their tax dollars to be spent. It is a b o ut time Q u e b e c joined the rest o f C a n a d a by bringing its lavish spending habits to a halt, a nd focus on getting its econom y b a ck on track. Q uebecers m ay protest now, but their minds w ill ch ange w hen they see the effect Charest's policies eventually have on their taxes. M y hat is off to you, M r. Charest, for being a vo ice o f reason in a province that seems to lack a lot of rea soning. It takes a lot o f courage to stand up to the fierce opposition your party is fa cin g , a nd I sincerely hope you w ill continue to stand firm on the issues you are convinced w ill lead to the better ment o f Q u e b e c ■

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ared had Subway. Fergie had Jenny C raig. I, Panthea Lee, have the Facebook. Just as those above institutions changed the lives of JJVbney and F-Train, the Facebook has transformed the life o f yours truly. (Note: for those poor, deprived souls that know not of w h a t I speak, g o to Thefacebook.com and preB re to see the light.] Before the Facebook, I a shameful existence. W ith a none too attractive visage and a horrible memory for names and faces, I w as destined for social ruin. The appearances thing I couldn't d o so much a b o ut—fret not, I'm not one o f those ugly folk that tell themselves it's what's inside that counts; I know no one wants to befriend a fugly. W ith the Facebook, this is no longer a problem. M y profile p age showcases an im age of myself that is Photoshopped to perfection— yo u 'd be surprise w hat the blur tool can do. This allows me to trick beautiful peo ple —yes, even ugly people don't w a n t to be friends with other visual horrors— into "confirm ing" me as’ a friend. O n ce they have been duped into becoming one o f my Internet pals, they feel o bliged to smile back when I see them out and about. And I milk this for all it's worth. Finally, to have friends! Okay, fine, "friends" m ay be stretching it. Finally, not being glared dow n when I say hi to others... it feels great!

J O R D A N L A N G L O IS

P A N T H E A LEE

panthea.lee@mail. mcgill. ca In

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eople sometimes assume that, because I am an English major, I have the m agical ability to spout random w ord definitions like some kind o f human dictionary. W h ile that w ould be an awesom e party trick, my abilities are generally limited to using the w o rd in an appropriate sen tence, or lying and inventing a new meaning (while secretly laughing about the d am age and embarrassment my new definition w ill cause). The one w o rd that gave me the most trouble w as "iro n ic"— even though I'm completely aw are o f w h a t it means, I always end up giving cliché examples like, "It's ironic that Alanis Morisette's song has nothing to d o with irony," or "I can't real ly give you a g o o d definition, w hich is ironic, since I am an English student!" But those days are over, as I no w have the world's most sublime def inition of irony—w hile I pay Lisa, my stylist, close to 6 0 bucks to style and primp my fabulously

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girlie hair, she and I discuss the merits of feminism and the cruel injustices of a patriarchal society. Every day, a battle rages on between my inner raging feminist and my inner fa iry princess. The feminist wants to study sexual ethics and gen der, become a high school teacher, and convince the female students that pretending to not under stand trig isn't necessarily the best flirtation method. The princess, however, wants to redeco rate my entire apartment in pink satin, fight the dis crimination against miniature poodles, and buy the w orld a Coke. M y inner feminist is repulsed by the patriarchal messages behind TLC's daytime programm ing, w h ile the princess in me secretly cries at every episode o f Perfect Proposal. The feminist thinks "Ladies' N ig h t" is a disgusting event, replete with vile old men w h o prey on froshies sloshed out o f their minds on o n e do llar beer. The Princess agrees, but knows my w allet

'l il

can't handle much more abuse. In the meantime, w hile the girls are duking it out, there is w ork to be done on the rest o f the w orld. It's incredible ho w many well-educated people think that being a feminist and ow ning eight pairs of strappy stiletto heels are mutually exclusive. Being a feminist does not necessarily mean shaving your head, letting your leg hair g ro w to a yeti-rivalling thickness, and burning every lacy undergarment you own. N o r does being a feminist mean you hate men— in fact, someone w h o perpetuated that kind o f indiscrimi nate hatred and called themselves a feminist w ould be an even better definition o f irony. The fact that I am a feminist means that I believe that, aside from some basic plumbing issues, men and wom en are equal on all planes. The fact that ! wash my dishes w hile w earing a tiara and listen ing to Britney Spears is irrelevant. ■

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BY SAM G O F F M A N ACROSS I . U nhappy 4 . ___ Q ueen 7. Best M c G ill publication (abbr.) I I . Burdensome 13. Received b y the ear 14. Superlative 15. Plant w ith seeds 17. _________ D 18. Captures drug dealers in the US 19. A boy? A girl? N o one kn o w s... 2 0 . Salutation 2 1 . Sw ine dw e llin g 2 2 . C om pletely untrue 23. For exam ple, a violin, vio la , and cello 2 5 . Realm o f ca g e d animals 26. W in n in g serve 28. M alevo le n t computer 2 9 . U nable to function 3 1 . Honest Am erican president 33. A b ig Bush concern 3 4 . 28-across has this 35. G ra d adornm ent 37. Crafty 38. Difficult to unhook

39. "You're such a ___ !" 4 0 . "Right o n ___ " 41. W h e re parents and teachers meet 4 2 . Dr. o r Donahue 4 4 . Enemies 45. British "H e y !" 4 6 . C leaving tool 4 7 . Lascivious stare 48. _________ W est ('3 0 s actress) 4 9 . Abbas's party 5 0 . C om e before ens

10. Duplicate principals: M unroe12. Aural comm unication device 13. Spirited ___ 16. N o t a t the Daily 2 0 . A la n d sca pe w ith ups a nd do w n s is this 21. Bribe or gift 22. French infants 2 3 . N o t these, but ___ 2 4 . Train's road 25. C ountry o f M obutu 2 7 . SSMU helped found this in 5 1 . N o n e o f these, alo n g w ith 21994 d o w n a nd buts 29. C a p ita l o f Afghanistan 30. Ruined clothes m ay be in these DOWN 32. Songs for the d e a d 1. D on't d o this to your underpants 36. Sail these seven 2. N o n e o f these, alo n g with 5 1 4 0 . French sky across and buts 4 1 . O ften written in verse 3 . _________ Sutthiphisal (in M c G 4ill2 .Econ) Dealing with the public 4 . Former US presidential ca n d id ate 4 3 . This, alo n g with a jump and a 5 . C onfucian school skip 6 . Jerk o r d ick 4 4 . Payment 7. " E t___ , Brute?" 4 5 . Clumsy o r supid person 8. & (vacation goal) 4 6 . Com es after 4 8 -d o w n 9. 29 th US state (abbr.) 4 8 . Com es before 4 6 -d o w n

CHATTERBOX

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SILHOUETTE W h e re

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onna-Lee Smith is a faculty lecturer with the department o f integrated education. Smith's professional areas of inter est are aboriginal literacy and multiculturalism in the classroom. Her literature for children and young adults is hugely popular among education students in part because o f her fantastic storytelling skills. The most im portant thing I have learnt from students... is never underestimate w h a t they think I need to learn. M y fa v o u rite m ovie is...

G a m e rs

G u ild th riv e s o n

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fantasy role-playing is the ability to step out of your ordinary life and assume the role of a fictional charac ter," says Paris. "It's kind o f like acting in a movie but

ou know how it goes: your well o f party conversation runs d ry — ho w many variations on inane weather banter can there be?— so out comes the deck of cards or a board game. Soon you find that you and your friends are up until obscene hours of the night playing poker or M o n o p o ly as the stakes get higher and the competitive

without all the pressure." W h ile gam ing gets your creative juices flowing,

spirit kicks in. G am ing is more than just a w a y to pass time. For some reason, many people find themselves_cutting off all sense of shyness and constraint whenever they roll a pair of dice or deal a deck of cards. W h a t is it about playing games that makes people shed their sense of self-consciousness? Games have long been a social activity. "W h ile peo ple have been playing games for centuries, the idea of a 'gam ing league' has been around for only 3 0 years," says Ben Paris, president of the Gamers G uild of M c G ill and a U2 student of History and English Literature. M em bers of M cG ill's gam ing organization participate in three types of games: role-playing, collectible card games, and strategic board games. Here at M c G ill, and all over the w orld, roleplaying games are dom inating the gam ing industry. "The creative facet of role-playing games attracts many players," says G race Seybold, a LJ3 East Asian Studies stu dent and member of the Gamers G uild. Players are espe cially draw n to those that possess an element of the surreal, such as M a g ic the Gathering and Dungeons and Dragons. "Role-playing has that w hole kind of Lord.of the Rings fantasy a p p e a l," says G reg o ry Hum, U3 Education. But w hat is it about fantasy experience that made Lord o f the Rings such a huge hit in the first place? "Part of the allure of

it also makes you, w e ll... smarter. "Board games con tain a strategy aspect that appeals to a lot of people because they really like to embrace intellectual chal lenges,” explains Seybold. Yet not all board games are your average Scrabble and Risk. "The M c G ill Gamers have a lot of exotic games that you wouldn't normally find in stores," says Hum. The latest trend in the w orld of gam ing isn't a new gam e but rather a new community of players: women. C ontrary to stereotypes, gam ing is not all male. M ore and more wom en are joining in on the strategy and the com petition," states Seybold, w h o is starting her own female gamers league. Nevertheless, most gamers are still men. "W om en only make up about 10 per cent of our mailing list," says Paris. If any girl at M cG ill is ever in need of a smart stud, she knows w here to look. The best part about gam ing, many claim, is its creative, low-key, social environment. The Gamers G uild participates in gam ing conventions at local and international levels. They are hosting their own conven tion called ConjurationX in Verdun on M arch 5 and 6. "You'll meet a lot of people [at the convention]," says Hum. "It's a different group of people than you would meet elsewhere." ■

The Gamers Guild holds informal meetings on Thursdays and Fridays. For info, contact mcgillgam ers@ yahoogroups.com .

t r ic k s t o

Rocky Horror Picture Show. It is an advantage to be a fem ale professor in Education because... I get to w e a r a skirt. The biggest challenge future teachers face is... learning how to live on an M E Q salary. The most fun I ever had was when... I starred as a hooker in an RCMP training film. The funniest story I have ever heard from one o f m y students about their field experience w a s ... There's nothing funny about field experiences. W e take our profes sion very seriously. I am interested in A b o rig in a l literacy program s because... they em power First N ations peoples by strengthening language and cul ture If I w eren't a professor, I

knew

fu n n y ? w ould be... an entomologist or a N e w York City d o g walker. M y lifelong goal is... to die in Venice at 1 0 3 , poisoned by a jeal ous lover. A p a u city o f p o ly s y lla b ic w ords... renders a book teach able. M ulticulturalism in the class ro o m ... enhances a student's/teacher's experience because racism, classism, and sex ism suck the life out of all of us. M y favourite children's book is... The Lorax by Dr. Seuss. (All you eco nuts should read it and then force feed it to your peers w h o believe that cutting dow n all the trees doesn't matter.) M y ideal v a ca tio n circles around... a stint in a lig h th o u s e one with room service; I'd take my laptop and write a story about a N e w York City hooker w h o wants to be an entomologist but she can't because she has issues with authority and death. If I could offer one piece of advice to future teachers it w ould be... love your students, especially the ones you'd really rather not. M y favourite p izza topping is... shredded pem m ican— it's just so damn hard to get the g ood stuff.

—compiled by Melissa Miller and Leora Katz

t's funny how university students are the most likely to fear the future. Despite four years o f rigorous mental boot cam p, a strong esprit de corps from awkward-turned-rockhard friendships, and an unprecedented sense o f self-assurance stemming from the experience of overcoming failures, instead of standing the strains, most w ould rather hide under their bed sheets, whispering a rosary o f "Let's not and say w e d id " in a m addened frenzy. W h y does the future make us so tense? In theory, w e 're more prepared for it now than anyone has ever been before. All o f the Brown Student Services building is devoted to mak ing sure w e 've got the resources, money, knowledge, options, schmoozing skills, and CV to take on our fates as efficiently and triumphantly as possible. For every increase in the per centage o f students in post-secondary schools, a dozen p o p psychology theories emerge to help them out, spurting remedies that call for lots o f w ill power, self-discipline, and prepara tion—with no instructions as to how these actually w ork together. Even when armed with the best intentions, advisors hand out life profiles like marketing gurus d o new brands of gum, luring us with "long-lasting" flavours that are sure to lose their zest soon after. There is a reason w h y motivational talk is so enticing: it appeals to our basest common sense, nips cynicism in the bud, and leaves us with a sense of serenity that is comforting if nothing else. But should w e adm it to being uncertain, the "W ro n g Answer" sign starts flash ing and everyone looks extremely disappointed. Career counselling these days is tantamount to bolting a fixed im age to the door so whenever w e leave our house w e already know where w e re going. In a way, it prevents the future from happening, encouraging students to sign years o f their life over to contract-happy businesses and restrict w hat they love to w hat they can "realistically" cultivate, all because it's "safe" and "smart" to plar* this way. And w hile so many students thrust predictability on themselves without complaints, those w h o are content with uncertainty have to practically scream "I'm okay with it!" so they'll be left alone. The truth is that the future is not something that happens to us but something w e make happen; and, since reality usually gets its way, it'll likely be unglamorous and jumbled at first. Yet a regime o f simplicity and exaggerated focus isn't go in g to change that. Alternative psychology suggests, quite to the contrary, that self-complexity, daydream ing, and skeptical opti mism are healthier attitudes towards the future as they emphasize the process instead of the outcome.

Complicating matters Revealing ones true colours has never been so easy. W ith personality, aptitude, and career assessment tests, individuals can determine exactly w hat kind o f future they have in store for themselves by figuring out whether they're, say, Green, O range, G o ld , or Blue. Research has shown that there are only four basic personality temperaments in the w orld, asserts the self-improvement site www.insightlearning.com with shocking confidence. W ithout dropping a penny, you can be granted a coherent self-identity in under 2 0 seconds: you just have to click on the psychedelic filmstrip that best mirrors your persona. Moments later, you re left relieved, clutching a concise emailed message outlining yocir many "unique" characteristics and prospects. Apparently, this writer is am ong the six per cent of the world's Green individuals w ho, like N apoleon, Jefferson, and Lincoln before her, "seek to understand the w orld, "are sometimes oblivious to emotions,” and "believe w ork is play." Simple, right? It certainly seems more obvious to fit into categories than defy them. Those w h o juggle too many character traits seem more likely to g o around in circles, if not develop a full-blown multiple personality disorder. Yet recent research is putting a muzzle on the simple eloquence o f standardized personality tests by proving that being com plicated is actually better for your health—and your future. "Self-complexity" is about recognizing the number and diversity of character traits that w e use to engage in the w o rld under various circumstances. Since the term w as first coined by Yale University psychologist Patricia W . Linville in the late 19 8 0 s , "self-complexity" has garnered academ ic esteem and is increasingly view ed as a self-defense mechanism against the kinds of depression and sickness that result from stressful situations. Linville's research shows that people w h o describe themselves as com plicated are bet ter equipped to deal with life's curveballs. After surveying over a hundred university students, she found that those w h o used a greater and more dissimilar amount o f "descriptive cards" to characterize themselves— think lazy, motivated, and impulsive in the same h and—were less likely to experience the negative physical effects o f stress, like headaches, cramps, and colds. In contrast, those w h o had simpler views of themselves tended to react negatively to stress: their inability to succeed in dem anding situations left them questioning the character trait that failed them and unable to find another in w hich to put their faith. The classic exam ple is the student w h o defines himself by his grades, only to find himself dejected when he performs poorly and has no other im age o f himself on which to rely. In high self-complexity individuals, thoughts and feelings evoked by negative events are likely to be confined to im mediately salient self-aspects that make up a relatively small pro portion o f their self-knowledge," explain John R. Z. Abela and M arie-Hélène VeronneauM cA rdle o f the Journal o f Abnormal Child Psychology. "O n the other hand, in individuals lo w in self-complexity, spillover effects are likely. Therefore, follow ing negative events, a greater number and proportion of self-aspects are likely to be adversely affected in such indi viduals."

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BY N A T A L I E F L E T C H E R

Future prospects become less overwhelming the more disjointed the self-image. Those w h o are constantly expanding their life pxperiences and keeping their d a ily schedule packed w ith a range o f engagements develop ?more inconsistent sides to themselves, thus providing them with a greater pool of attributes from which to d ra w when faced with a challenge. If you've only ever thought o f yourself as a student, a son or daughter, or as single, when placed in a situation where you have to envision your future as something else, you don't have the scope o f personality to handle the pressure. The culprit? Personality testing originally meant to diagnose mental illnesses becoming a pop culture phenomenon. In her book The Cult o f Personality: H ow Personality Tests Are

Leading Us to M iseducate Our Children, Mismanage Our Companies and Misunderstand Ourselves, Anne M urphy Paul argues that personality tests overstepped, the boundaries when they began professing themselves as scientific. W h ile these tests can be revealing if users are fully aw a re o f their limitations, when taken as gospel they create "a culture in which our unique and varied personalities are subject to the petty tyranny of the average." As it happens, it is possible to reverse the simplification programming resulting from years o f orientation and guidance counselling workshops. Increasing self-complexily is as sim ple as involving yourself in more social roles, seeing ho w different parts o f you combine to perform these roles, and clearly distinguishing between these different selves. M a n y art stu dents are startled when told they have g o o d m anagerial skills; many business students are surprised when they find themselves confidently debating an issue in an arts elective. Realizing you are a leader in some situations and a follower in others proves that self-aspects d o not translate to all areas o f life— different situations call for different selves. In short, taking on new roles makes the future less daunting because there is simply more o f you to bear the brunt. As Linville puts it, you develop "uncontaminated areas o f your life that can act as buffers" when sources o f stress like future planning present themselves. Carl Jung was fond o f saying that labeling with categories is "nothing but a childish parlor gam e." W h o knew being complicated could actually make life simpler.

Daydream believer Henry David Thoreau used to spend his childhood nights staring out his bedroom w in dow, losing himself in daydreams about truth and nature, or as he put it, "looking through

th e mcgill tribune | 17.3.05 j feature 1 3 the stars to see if I could see G o d behind them." He w as labeled a wilderness hermit for spending so many uninterrupted hours contemplating his environment. He was also one of the 19th century's most quoted philosophers. O n ce thought of as the most obvious manifestation of laziness, immaturity, and even schizophrenia due to Freuds theories about fantasy and reality, daydream ing is now being cast in a new light. Some argue that every time a person is discouraged from daydream ing, they lose a little more contact with w hat they w ant for themselves. Simply put, if you can'fdaydream about something—or imag ine yourself happy and content in that particular situation—do you really want it? N o w a d a ys, there is proof that daydream ing may actually be a sign of psychological vigour, and a symptom of future success. "Evidence shows that people w h o are given to fantasy may even have spe cial psychological strengths," says Eric Klinger, a psychology professor at the University o f Minnesota. "Playing over one's current concerns serves as a reminder of important events and problems; it provides an arena for reviewing and learn ing from the past and rehearsing and refining future behaviour." University definitely hosts periods o f restlessness, dissatisfaction, and irritabil ity. Thinking about the future in fanciful w ays leaves many students feeling they're being overly idealistic about life's potential. Yet there's a reason w h y some students secretly enjoy cleaning their rooms, washing the dishes, or taking the long w a y to school—these seemingly brainless activities give the daydream er free rein to indulge in crucial self-reflection... and im agine themselves in their perfect lifestyle. “ People tend to rehearse through daydreams the changes they'd like to make in their lives,” says Comprehensive C oaching U Director Rachna D. Jain, w ho believes that fantasizing should be openly discussed not repressed: "If you keep dream ing about the same thing, that's a clue to w hat you might need to change. Trying to avoid daydream ing is not only fruitless,, it's detrimental, adds N e w York University psychologist Loriann Roberson. Although based in reality, daydreams lack reality's constraints, thus a llo w in g individuals to test out behaviours and lifestyles that may scare them ordinarily. Because emotions get tangled up in daydream ing, undervaluing the im portance of this kind of personal brainstorming makes people feel powerless towards the situation they are trying to confront. "O ur brains seem to be built to daydream —to create images that reflect our inner psychological selves in action," says Klinger. "Daydreaming seems to be a natural w a y to use brain pow er efficiently... Daydreaming keeps our minds active

not an arbitrary, esoteric force— no amount of black-eyed peas, amulets, or knock ing on w o o d to summon the tree gods w ill help prototypical luck lovers gam ble their w a y towards their goals. Superstition is an attempt to trick, rather than exploit, the unforeseeable. Truly "lucky" people, on the other hand, are w hat The Skeptical Inquirer's Richard W isem an has dubbed as "skeptical optimists": they use rational, scientif ic, and realistic means to enhance their own happiness and success. "Luck is not a m agical ability or the result of random chance," says W isem an, whose case studies prove that individuals make their own luck by tailoring their thoughts and behaviour positively. In an experiment that asked both lucky and unlucky individuals to count the number of photographs in a newspaper, the lucky ones quickly stopped after noticing a message on the second p age that revealed the number of photographs, whereas the unlucky ones counted every last picture. "M y research revealed that lucky people generate their own good fortune via four basic principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and a d o p t a fesilient attitude that transforms bad luck into g o o d ." Lucky people tend to be less anxious than unlucky people, enabling them to better spot potential in the unexpected or the trivial. Because they are more open to opportunities, they constantly seek change, thus increasing their chance o f finding luck on a d a ily basis. "It is easy for people to exhaust the opportuni ties in their life," W isem an says. "Keep on talking to the same people in the same way. Keep taking the same route to and from work. Keep going to the same places on vacation. But new or even random experiences introduce the potential for new oppor

selves." In an effort to rescue daydream ing from ill-repute, psychotherapists are using guided daydreams to help their patients overcome major life obstacles. Their meth ods, based on pioneering daydream research by Jerome L. Singer, w h o devised the Imaginai Processes Inventory (IPI) as a w a y to evaluate how fantasies can inform reality, lend scientific proof to Thoreau's claim that if you build castles in the

tunities." Skeptical optimism also promotes a glass-half full mentality. According to research conducted- at the University o f Herlforshire in England, when faced with a difficult situation, lucky people feel glad their plight isn't worse. They're likely to remem ber a rosier picture of bad events, making it possi ble for them to see life as easy. This, in turn, makes them more approachable, more lovable, and more w orthy o f help—something g ood businessmen bank on. "W h e n an entrepreneur does his or her home work, g o o d things happen," explains Steven M . Krauser of N e w York's N etw ork Associates Inc. Having a vision and developing a strategy is impor tant, as it makes you more receptive to great possi bilities in your im mediate surroundings. In fact, pos itive skepticism puts a w hole new spin on getting lucky. "Luck is basically an opportunity you take

air, you can actually lay foundations under them.

advantage o f when you are prepared."

w hile helping us to cope and create." Since it is such a natural process, daydream ing is often neglected as a cre ative force. "Rarely is it mentioned that some of the greatest advancements in human his tory w ere the result o f someone's daydream ," remarks Alan Tutt in "The Power of Creative Daydream ing," an account o f h o w creative daydream ing helped master minds like M ozart, Nietzsche, and Einstein let their art and inventions "reveal them

Deny everything

Lucky skepticism Tetrapods, or four-limbed vertebrates like turtles, crocodiles, seals, otters, some birds, and humans, have had the best biological "beginner's luck" when it comes to species adaptation, successfully moving from sea to land and back to sea without a hitch. As University o f C alifornia geologist G eerat J. Vermeij has noted, these creatures w ere endow ed with the kind o f qualities and capacities to a d a p t to these varying elements. Beyond initial g o o d fortune, however, luck has had nothing to d o with it. W h a t helps the most successful creatures along is being flatout opportunistic. "W e humans are the latest and, although atypical, certainly the most success ful land animals to exploit the sea," says Vermeij. "Even with no special physical adaptations, Hom o sapiens makes use o f more marine resources and penetrates the ocean more extensively—from the poles to the equator and from the high-tide line to the deepest trenches—than does any other species." Ironically, it is also humans w h o spend their time pandering to Fortuna, the lady luck herself, hoping that romantic entanglements with "lucky" objects will somehow ensure the kind o f bright and prosperous future they crave. But luck is

w h o 's

a fr a id

o f

f o r g e t a b o u t fin d in g a jo b

th e

b ig

Being prepared is not an overnight project, however, and over-planning can cause more anxi ety than it cures. W h e n you research a goal too specifically, the uncertainty surrounding it becomes all the more self-evident. "It's natural to think gathering more information w ill reduce uncertainty, explains Dale Brashers, a professor at the University o f Illinois whose w ork with H IV/A ID S patients has led him to believe that focusing on short-term rather than long-term goals is much more beneficial to future outlooks. "In cases like this, more information simply causes greater anxiety, because often it forecasts negative con sequences and is contradictory and unclear." As an interim agreement, healthy denial can definitely rise to the occasion. According to psychologist Lynn C raw ford, "patients w h o deny their fears have bet ter physical health." And so, make like an ostrich—avoid any thought that causes unreasonable self-doubt. M a n y have said it: the future, like unfought wars, unwrit ten novels, and unborn children, is not something to obsess about. ■

b a d

a fte r g ra d u a tio n

JAMES SCARFONE ou have to adm ire the people w h o explore the possibility o f life after death, or whatever it is that lies ahead. It is a mystery for everyone, and it's those w h o enjoy debating the potential outcomes w h o are considered brave, right? To spend w a kin g moments pondering this concept is ironic in that logic d ic tates that you'll be out cold when the time com es—w h y not live in the moment w h ile your soul is still contained within your body? Nevertheless, it is an intriguing idea to consider what's in store for people once they're six feet under. For some groups or dem ographics, there are fundamental differences between each other's ow n beliefs on the afterlife, or simply the future in general. This is not too surprising, as different religious groups have contrasting conclusions on any subject. In Judaism, for instance, the idea surrounding reincarnation is purely controversial. Back in the day, it w as at least taken more seriously, a cco rd in g to Does the Soul Survive?. Afterlife literature w as more varied and colourful then, writes author Rabbi Elie Kaplan Spitz, w h o includes inferno-like descriptions o f our soul's existence in his book. This has since given w a y to a complete lack o f im agination. The concept, most notably, first gained w ide-

■KH

an d

P H O T O S BY YA S E M IN EM O R Y

fu tu re s t a r t w o r r y i n g a b o u t p a y i n g f o r y o u r s i n s in t h e

spread acceptance in the H asidic movement in Eastern Europe. Yet there is no direct mention o f it in H e b re w scripture, leading the rabbi to suggest that an individual leading a life after life was not a colossal issue w ithin Judaism. H o w w e m ay interpret this could include the proposal that Judaism either wishes not to think past the sim plicity o f life —choosing to enjoy the present d a y rather than hark upon the darkness o f the afterlife. However, to say that it is, ahem, a d e a d issue, might be pushing it. A ccording to Spitz, there are still many forms o f evidence that raise the level of fear from dying am ong this particular g ro u p — levels that are the norm for the m odern-day individual. In an examination o f the discrepancies in afterlife accounts, w e are conflicted as to w h a t may happen to us on judgment day. Recent research examines w h y people are afraid o f dying. The Hasidic rabbi posing the query points out that it is because w e are w o r ried about confronting our recollections o f our time on Earth. O ld e r scribes bring up the possibility that w e w ill be judged quite harshly. These similar conclusions have all led to our concern for our post-mortem selves. O n the other hand, feminism has spaw ned very different concepts about the afterlife. In A pocalypse N o w and Then, a highlight o f the feminist movement and its struggles with the "end

n e x t l if e

o f the w o rld " from the point of vie w o f historical figures and folks today, w om en are said to struggle with fear, a bad history, and a redemption com plex that refers to the pre-suffrage days. This has led to more positive emotions, such as poise, when regard ing the future as a result of a d d ed pressure to ensure equality am ong the sexes. W h a t w e come to learn, for the most part, is that move ments such as these have prophesied many ends and ages behind and before. “A pocalypse provides a kind o f kaleido scope for cultural self-consideration," writes author Catherine Keller. Based on histories of certain groups, they are a b le to come up with their ow n conclusions on life after death. Obviously, there is a choice to be made, whether w e appreciate our lives as w e know them and w o rry not about the future. O r w e can contemplate w h a t w ill happen next, out o f amusement or curiosity, and evaluate our choices no w to see if they w ill be suit able further on. In the end, keeping an open mind is necessary if w e w ant to debate the merits o f reincarnation or a d ead soul. Creativity, above all else, seems to be the key to a healthy existence now in order to receive benefits later. But that just goes without say ing, doesn't it? ■

im a g e s urban

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You can be chosen to go on exchange in one of the 91 countries that are part of our network. For more details come to our Information sessions on March 18th at 5:30 in Bronfman 179 & March 29lh at 6:30 in Bronfman 301 Or drop by our office in Shatner 407, Phone #: 514-398-3001 ext. 09939 ^ Email: aiesecmcqill exchanqe@vahoo.com, Website: www.ca.aiesec.org

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Editorial Board applications should include a letter o f intent, a CV, and a portfolio containing three (3) relevant samples of work. Applications should be addressed to Natalie Fletcher, Editor-in-Chief, and be received by 4:30pm on Monday, March 21st in the Trib office (Shatner 110). For more information, e-mail tribune@ssmu.mcgill.ca.

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a&e t. Patrick's Day When Irish eyes are smiling... . . . w e s t u d e n t s p a r t a k e in p a r a d e f e s t i v i t i e s , g r e e n DANIEL CHODOS & LISETREUTLER t long last, w inter salvation is here— no, not the first signs of spring (sadly), but a h o lid a y to put that long-lost joie de vivre back in our steps before the end o f term. M a rc h 1 7 brings the night that, quite honestly, most o f us need. M idterm s have been hard, and the erratic w inter temperatures have been driving us crazy. Luckily, the one tonic a b le to cure all these a il ments and more is upon us: a g o o d , drunken St. Patricks Day. After all, our beloved guru— one Hom er Jay Sim pson— never fails to remind us o f this very im portant toast: "To a lc o h o l—the cause of, and solution to, all life's problem s!"

N e ve r a shrinking violet, our fa ir city o f M ontreal is one o f the most ideal cities to host celebrations for the holiday. As w e s a w on Sunday, our Irish comm unity boasts one o f the biggest a nd best St. Patrick's D ay parades in the w o rld . Bars everyw here throw massive parties, offering drink specials a nd the infamously tongue-tinting green beer. But am ongst the festivities, it is w orth exploring the Irish heritage that lay the foundation for these a lco h o lic fiestas.

A pot o' golden lore for us... M ost are a w a re that our em erald parties actually o riginated centuries a g o as comm em orations for the anniversary o f St. Patrick's death. W h ile it is hardly uncommon to find religious back grounds for holidays around the w o rld , a cco rd in g to historychannel.com the Irish held greater faith in the celebratory aspect o f the

H A N D S

O F F

THE

h o lid a y than other cultures: "Lenten prohibitions against the con sumption o f meat w e re w a ive d , a nd peo ple w o u ld da n ce, drink, a nd feast on the traditional meal o f Irish b acon and c a b b a g e ." But one o f the ye a rs most p o pular holidays d id not sim ply g ro w out o f a saints memory. The first St. Patrick's D ay pa ra d e took p la ce in 1 7 6 2 — but in N e w York City, not Dublin, as a w a y for the Irish soldiers serving in the British arm y to connect w ith their hom eland. The United States, interestingly enough, ap p ea rs to be w here m any o f our em erald traditions began, starting w ith the emi gration o f nearly one million Irish C atholics during the Irish Potato Famine in the m id -19th century. Naturally, the resentful, xe nopho b ic Protestant-Americans d id not take this mass influx o f ne w culture

and different religion into their country lightly, a nd b e gan portray ing the stereotypical drunken de b au ch e ry w e see lam pooned to d a y as the regular Irish w a y o f celebrating St. Patrick's Day. But as time w e n t on, though the parties d id n 't stop, they d id take on a n e w m eaning. The Irish realized their p o w e r in numbers and b e gan to take pride in the celebrations, reclaim ing their culture a n d starting new, now-beloved traditions such as the annual p a ra d e , culm inating in US President Truman's attendance o f the 1 9 4 8 p a ra d e , w h ich signified long-aw aited acce p ta n ce a nd vic tories after a century o f ca m p a ig n in g for rights. Truly, St. Patrick's D ay is something to celebrate for more rea sons than w e m ay be a w a re of.

...and a pot o' reality for others

h o p e f u lly a

b it o ' c u lt u r e

G o o g le the phrase "Irish drinking song" and more than 8 , 0 0 0 hits com e up. This number far exceeds the "drinking song" Internet con tent for a n y other ethnicity by a landslide. In contrast, a query for "British drinking song" produces a mere 5 4 7 hits. Perhaps this is a result o f plenty o f inspiration? Let's not forget the de-robed Irish priest w h o tackled the firstp la ce runner a t the 2 0 0 4 summer O lym pics in Athens. After the incident, it w a s discovered that this w a s the same intelligent cler gym an w h o earlier that ye a r had disrupted the British G ra n d Prix by running in front o f the ca rs— as they revved their engines— w e a rin g something akin to lederhosen a nd holding a sign that read, "The Second C o m in g is near, says the B ible." N o t surpris-

ingly, this enthusiastic Irish is n o w behind bars. Regardless o f the songs, the fun, a n d the o d d "Kiss m e— I'm Irish" T-shirt, it is not fa ir to autom atically associate drinking w ith St. Patrick's D ay w ithout know ing why. Clearly, there is an entire cul ture surrounding Ireland's som ew hat infamous history o f drunken exploits. It is not surprising, then, that collegians like us, particular ly a t M c G ill, mark off M arch 1 7 on our calendars. In the w o rd s o f O sca r W ild e , take an "a lc o h o lid a y " for your self this y e a r— there's no shame in celebrating a lo n g w ith the rest o f us. Toast your first pint w ith this w ell-known Irish saying: "Thirst is a shameless disease, so here's to a shameful cure!" In the morn in g — o r more likely, afte rn o o n — take heed o f another: "D aylight comes through the drunkard's roof the fastest." ■

Irish "drinking songs" are not uncommon. C ase in point:

— with files from M ark Chodos

C A N V A S

W h e re If

b e e r, a n d

a n y o f you has recently d e b ate d the state o f hip hop between puffs at a party, you must have heard this phrase uttered more than once: "M a n , w h e re is d a oldschool shit?" The old-school shit to w h ich I refer is the w o rk o f ra p s pioneers. It's not Afrika B am bataa o r C huck D; it's not even Rakim o r KRS-one. It's funk music. It's the g ro o ve h ip h op h ad in its h e yd a y during the early- to m id -1 9 9 0 s w hen it w as d e ve lo p in g , slo w ly

th a

f& ° / o $

is d a

fu n k

some d e g re e — sound repetitive, rather than m elodic. The situation in the m odern hip h o p scene is reminis cent to the dem ise o f funk music's p o p ularity during the late 19 7 0 s . James Brown, am o n g other superstars o f yes teryear, co m p la in e d in his late 1 9 7 0 s autob io g ra p hy, James Brown: The Godfather o f Soul, that d isco music, by using the Ashlee Simpsons o f that era, pro d u ce d a redun dant, synthesized tune backed by unoriginal lyrics. It is true that q u ality hip hop lyricism is on the W h e n w a s the last tim e y o u m a d e that sour, rise, thanks to emcees from all over the w o rld bring in g c o n to rt-yo -fu n k y fa ce y o u m a k e w h ile liste n in g to B ig B o i? their styles instead o f N Y C o r Southern sla n g . But w h e n w a s the last tim e you undergoing its experim ent-laden m etam orphosis into the m ade that sour, contort-yo-funky fa ce you m ake w h ile lis mainstream. tening to Big Boi rhyme on ATLiens? H o w m any tracks out The funky bassline is w h a t makes p e o p le d a n ce; it there have that funky bounce a Pete Rock track brings? Does a n yone else miss the m usicality in Tupac's later is w h a t turns a beat w ith a lyric into a record that is album s o r g ro o vin g to the Tribe's beats on the p a tio a t a rem em bered b eyond o n ly a fe w w eeks' play. Yet most tracks on the ra d io —a n d even in the underground to summer barbeque?

SID PHARASI As the 19 9 0 s en d ed , so d id a n y sem blance o f a funky sound in most m ainstream hits. After The N eptunes broke through, m any producers a b a n d o n e d samples from funk and soul samples that w e re p o p u la r in the e arly 19 7 0 s , and they sw itched to more electronic, a n d repet itive, sonic beats. H ip h op tracks to d a y sound mass-produced, a nd h ardly encom pass a n y live feel anym ore. G ra n te d , there a re some underground acts a t present that sound very funky. M c G ill has even boasted a number o f impressive funk acts, including Steak This Thick a n d The Atom ic Bros. The focus in current ra p is to please as m any ears as possible, w ith sounds that a re fa m ilia r to as m any as p o ssib le — à la D ick Clark's A m erican Bandstand. N o w a d a y s , it is not uncomm on to hear cheesy 1980s pop sam ples s p lic e d in to ra p tracks. C a te g o riz in g h ip h op tracks into their sp e cific genres has never been easier than it is today. A n d because they e m p lo y such a form ulaic production process, p o p music to d a y is in g re a t need o f a funky m akeover, one that is kinder to creative experim entation. ■

the mcgill tribune | 1 9 .0 4 | a&e ] 7

P R E V I E WS FESTIVAL. Festivalissimo—Cinéma du Parc—3 5 7 5 av. du Parc—March 3 to 2 8 .

S e v e n

d a y s

o f

lo s t

b r a in

W h e n you think o f Latin Am erican documentaries, w h a t subject comes up in your mind? If you said "horrif ic human rights infractions," y o u 'd be right. A t least this is the general impression one m ight get from the best movies being screened this month a t C iném a du Parc. O n e o f the most p o pular Festivalissimo m ovie showings is Tom Feiling's scathing indictm ent o f the US-backed right-wing C o lo m bian m ilitia that routinely murders inno cent civilians in Hip H op in Colombia. O no zani en Argentina, a shocking docum entary that describes h o w Swiss banks a nd the Vatican m ade sure N a z i w a r crim inals kept their fortunes intact, is another depressing, though highly accla im ed selection a t this month-long event. C heck the C iném a du Parc listings for show

c e lls

M E L IS S A P R IC E ased on the results o f several very unscientific stud ies, it is a know n fact that m any university students like their b o o ze. Sadly, this tendency battles the unfortunate fact that m any students a re often broke. In honour o f St. Patricks Day, this reporter has taken the opportunity to sacrifice her liver a nd review some o f the cheapest possible w ays to indulge your beery crav in g s— the strong " 4 0 ." Behold the options...

times.

MUSIC. De La Soul—Metropolis—5 9 rue SteCatherine E.—Thursday, March 1 8 . H ip hop visionaries De La Soul w ill be returning to M etro p o lis on Friday. A band that truly exem plified the old-school style o f o rigina l funk beats and humorous rhyming lyrics, this Long Island trio m ight take you back to the days o f In Living Color and the e a rly years o f The Fresh Prince o f Bel-Air. They set the stage for such respected m odern h ip h o p g ro u p s as Arrested Development, Blackalicious, a nd OutKast. Throughout the years, De La Soul's style m orphed several times betw een harder rap approaches a nd the softer "chill hop" style that characterized their second album, De La Soul is Dead. This should make for an eclectic musical d isp la y for the contingent on hand a t M etropolis. G e t your tickets s o o n — 8 4 4 -3 5 0 0 .

Carling Black Label Supreme (8%). W e ll, this gem w o u ld taste like nothing, w e re it not for the ever-pleasa n t bitter aftertaste. Its endurable, though, a n d g o t this tiny g irl w ith a b ig tolerance to a g o o d state o f h a p p i ness—a n d hey, it's cheap.

Molson HiDry (6 .5 %). The percentage looks pretty w im p y com pared to its boozed-up com panions, but its saving g ra ce is that it tastes essentially like M olson D ry— w h ic h ca n be g o o d o r b a d , but isn't as terrible as some o f the monstrosities I guzzled. As for effectiveness, w e ll... it's 6 .5 % a n d it tastes okay, so it'll leave you with a nice buzz a n d nothing more.

Labalt Wildcat ( 10 %). It doesn't taste that b a d , actually. It's a little bitter, but that's the sort o f thing you w o n 't notice w hen y o u 're drunk. A nd w ith a 1 0 per cent whamm y, you w ill be. Labatt Blue Dry (8 . 1%). A g a in , la b a ft delivers. This tastes alm ost like your regular beer, but packs a b igger unch. That 0 .1 per cent som ehow raises it quite a bit igher than B b c k Label, a n d yo u 'll definitely feel it after o n ly half o f the bottle.

Black Bull ( 10 %). W h a te ve r this beer is m ade of definitely frightens me. First o f all, it’s g o t alarm ingly long-lasting h e a d — m eaning I poured it, w ent to check my e-mail, returned, a n d if w a s still to o foam y to drink. That aside, Black Bull greets you w ith pleasant notes of

U$€ TRHUTIER

T-10 and counting as Harry shows us how it's done. varnish a nd paint thinner, a nd stretches into a drawn-out aftertaste reminiscent o f that pile o f socks you stilt haven't gotten aro u n d to w ashing. It also likes to burn yo u r throat, w h ich b rought b a ck unpleasant memories o f that e p iso d e o f The Simpsons w ith the antifreeze w in e . It is very effective, and h ad me ram bling ab o ut conspiracies after one glass— but the threat o f ra d io a c tivity isn't quite w orth it.

Lucky Lager Force 7 (7 %). This tastes really g o o d — a n d no, I ca n 't believe it either. Sadly, though, you p a y for the taste w ith a reduction o f in e b ria tio n — I bet I co u ld have driven after the w h o le bottle, and I don 't really kn o w h o w to drive.

FILM. The Ring Two—various theatres—begins March 1 8 . W a it no more to see the much a n ticip a te d sequel to the horror movie that had most o f its viewers a t the e d g e o f their seats throughout its eerily suspenseful plot. In this case, Dream works is bringing in H id e o Tanaka, w h o directed Ringu, the Japanese precursor to The Ring. There is am ple reason to believe the sequel could outdo the o rigina l. This time, six months since the creepy S am ara had begun terrorizing them, Rachel (N aom i W atts) a nd her m entally shattered little son A id a n (David Dorfman) have taken o ff for Astoria, O re g o n , for some p e a ce a nd q u ie t... but not for longl M o o hoo ha ha ha!

Colt 4 5 (8%). The classic... As a friend o f mine o nce a p tly put it, C o lt tastes like w easel piss: b land, watery, a nd sort o f a c id ic It gets the |ob done, th o u g h —a 4 0 o f C o lt once took d o w n my fabulous e d i tor's six-foot brother. G ranted, he w a s 16 at the time, but C o lt leaves you feeling g o o d whatever your age. Donations to the Liver C irrhosis Research Foundation can b e delivered to M e lissa s house. She will probably use them to buy more beer.

THEATRE. Tales From O vid—Centaur Theatre—4 5 3 rue St-François-Xavier—March 8 to April 3 . For those unfam iliar w ith the Roman poet O v id , the Centaur Theatre offers a taste o f cultural history begin ning tonight that should not be missed b y anyone w h o is literate! Famous— w e ll, more like, really, ridiculously fam ous—for w riting Metamorphoses in 8 A .D ., the Roman poet O v id had no intention o f solving any grand human mysteries; he just w a n te d to w rite creative stories. Tales From O vid, written by England's poet laureate Ted Hughes and brought to us b y the C entaur Theatre in con junction w ith the N a tio n a l Theatre School o f C a n a d a , links the gods, human beings, a nd a persistent theme of c h a n ge throughout time. C a ll 2 8 8 -3 1 6 1 to order tickets.

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18 a&e | 1.9.04 j the mcgill tribune

^ ^ ilm FIFAi A feast of films 2 7 0 films fro m 2 5 c o u n trie s in lO d a y s KATHERINE FUGLER

Dimension, a portrait of surrealist artist Salvador Dal!.

ollyw ood rarely produces pictures that can be classified as "challenging." The blockbusters w e see at the Paramount are sometimes disgusting, ugly, revolting, or even thought-provok ing, but rarely d o they appeal to our intellect. "Intellect" is considered the realm of independent and short films, whether low-budget or not. The sad truth is that to our image-hungry, channel-changing genera tion, they can be misconstrued and confusing—though often cathar tic — before the title even rolls across the screen. This year marks the 2 3 rd anniversary of the International Festival of Films on Art, a bilingual celebration o f the extraordinary gracing many M ontreal screens from M arch 1 0 2 0 . The content of the films— yes, all 2 7 0 of them— is more diverse then the M c G ill population. Proof lies in the films' originating from 2 5 countries; together, they cover the spheres of architecture, fine art, circus art, dance, design, literature, music, painting, photography, and sculpture. Enough? N o t quite— not to be forgotten are the even more unconventional, includ ing films on mimes, fashion, renowned composer Philip Glass (Looking Glass), Sigmund Freuds grandson (Lucien Freud: Portraits), Vincent van G o g h {Vincent—The Full Story), Frankenstein (M a ry Shelley), and the Bic Pen [Le Bic Cristal). There really is something for

Those interested in playing witness to the more unique films of the festival may appreciate the Q uébécois Sons terre ni mère, a mimed performance about a man longing for his mother's love. Artistic? Definitely. Confusing? Som ewhat—the fact that the protago nist merely takes the role of thp narrator w hile tw o mimes in full-body leotards prance around like horses is one thing, but throwing one's mother into a tale with simulated horse sex is quite another. Though the films shown at FIFA 2 0 0 5 w ill probably never make it to Sundance or even HBO , they w ill be cherished by admirers or scoffed at by shocked audiences sure to remember them long after w a rd. Regardless, the many films of FIFA are sure to broaden any stu dent's artistic and mental horizons. ■

The official W eb site, artfifa.com, lists all 2 7 0 films in a direc tory you can search by show time, title, category, and even country o f origin. Enjoy films in both English and French, and be sure to check back on M arch 21 when the list o f winners is posted.

everyone. Pre-festival previews offered screenings of an array of competi tion pieces (all categorized in the section "Creative Crossroads") to tempt the cinematic mind. These films, with production dates across the past four years, w ill be judged by a five-person jury comprised of film experts from C a n a d a and Europe. The winners w ill be announced at the festivals closing ceremonies on M arch 2 0 — am ong the competitors are the aforementioned Le Bic Cristal and M a ry Shelley, tw o am ong 5 4 diverse pieces that also include the intriguing The Mysterious Mr. Hopper, about everyone's favourite Keanu Reeves villain portrayer, Dennis Ffopper, and The Dal!

Dali, Hopper, rural Quebec—FIFA showcases eclectic film art.

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the mcgill tribune | 1.9.04 | a&e 1 9

REVIEWS

^ ^ h e a tre W h o

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f a ir e s t

CD. Life in Dreaming b y H idden in Plain View.

F ilip in a

T e e sri D u n iy a T h e a t r e e x p lo r e s f h e

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th e m

C a n a d ia n

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m in o rity id e n tity

L IS E T R E U T L E R

hat d o you g e t if you pit three young w om en, alike o n ly in their Filipino heritage, against each other in a beauty pageant? M ontreal's Teesri Duniya Theatre, d e d ic a te d to prom oting cultural diversity, explores this question in a multi-faceted fashion. A/l/ss Orient(edj, w h ich prem iered in M on tre a l on International W om en's Day, gives us m ore than a snapshot o f a beauty p a geant. The p la y tackles the issues o f ethnic m inority identity and w o m e n s roles w ith' hilarious, satirical force, ed u catin g the a u d ie nce a b o u t internal dilem m as they have n o t— o r perhaps h a ve — experienced. W ritte n b y N in a A q u in o a n d N a d in e Villasin (who also stars as a contestant), M /ss Orient(ed) fo llo w s three p a g e a n t hopefuls through their journey on stage: Jennifer, C a n a d ia n-b o rn a nd g ru d g in g ly p a rticip a tin g to please her mother; C a rrie , a self-absorbed know-it-all w h o believes the key to success lies in cla im in g your heritage fully, but also be in g a b le to hide it com pletely; a nd Twinkle, a shy recent im migrant. A lo n g w ith the talented cast a nd crew , Director Sarah Stanley takes the recipe M iss Orientledj offers a n d cooks a brilliant, m em orable dish — besides the a cco m p a n ie d catered Filipino cuisine, o f course. The open runw ay set a llo w s for full a u d ie nce interaction; Stanley makes sure each cast m em ber takes full a d va n ta g e o f this. The stage sparkles w ith all the overdone glitter one w o u ld expect from a beauty p a g ea n t, a d d in g in a v id e o projection for entertaining scenes betw een scenes. M a n y moments o f the p la y are a c c o m p a n ie d b y music, ranging from the current a nd w ell-know n (G w en Stefani's "Rich G irl" a nd Tori Amos's "C rucify") to u p b e a t selections o f F ilipino pop. Cultures co llid e , blend, a n d sometimes m ake friends throughout the show. The all-Filipino cast demonstrates a m a zin g stage chemistry, p la yin g out their stereotypes in an utterly believ a b le w a y. The a u d ie nce is e sp e cia lly d ra w n to the strug g le o f Emilee Veluz's Twinkle, w h o exem plifies the mes-

"Uninspired rock" is the only w a y to describe the overall sound o f H idden in Plain V ie w on their debut album , Life in Dreaming. N o t to judge based on a g e , but their youth clearly shows in both their lyrics and musicality. The band tries to be provocative a nd con front d e e p issues—such as a brutal rape in a b a ck alley, a friend dyin g from cancer, a car w reck on the turnpike, or standing alone on a high rooftop a nd contem plating the fast w a y d o w n — but bland instrumentation b y Rob Freeman on guitar, Spencer Peterson on drums, a nd Chris Am ato on bass temper the darker issues w ith a lack o f caring. The first song, "Bleed for You," is catchy in a pop-punk w ay, but only until you realize that every track that follow s sounds exactly the same. Life in Dreaming, however, is not entirely ba d . There is g o o d b uildup in the néo-symphonic seven-minute long "G a rd e n Statement," w h ich traces the anguished reflections o f a soul on fire. The more intimate "H a lcyo n Daze" blends its rhythmic m elody nicely w ith a d d e d strings, w ithout o verpow ering the lyrics. O ve ra ll, this hard-rocking N e w Jersey quintet tries to express a lot more than they can handle and ultimately gets d ro w n e d out in a wash o f sounds reminiscent o f G lassjaw , Sum 4 1 , and other post-pubescent pop-punk bands.

—Lauren Consky

TEESRIDUNIYATHEATRE.COM sages M/ss Orient/edl tells by being both the o n ly over w e ig h t contestant a nd the o n ly one w ith o u t a perfect com m and o f accentless English. The show's surprise h ig h lig h t, however, lies in Carolyn-Fe Trinidad's triple role as the three mothers. Veluz a n d Trinidad, a lo n g w ith the rest o f the cast, keep the a u d i ence in stitches a ll the w a y through. But M iss Orientledj is no sim ple com edy. In keeping w ith its producers' m andate, the p la y offers a lesson in F ilip ino-C anadian identity, p la yin g w ith stereotypes a nd breaking them com pletely. W ro n g s are not "right" b y the end, but each contestant learns some form o f lesson a b o ut her b a ckg ro u n d — a nd her attitude to w a rd s it. For over 2 0 years, the Teesri Duniya has been stag ing plays like this to prom ote culture a nd g ive a ll actors, both neophytes a nd veterans, the chance to w o rk togeth er. If the jo y M/ss Orient(ed) brought to the packed house is a n y ind ica tio n , the co m p a n y w ill be d o in g so for m any years to com e. ■ M iss O rient(ed) runs until M arch 2 7 at 3 9 9 7 boul. St-

Laurent. For ticket information, call the b o x office at 8480238.

CD. Devil's Playground b y Billy Idol. M uch o f the w o rk on Billy Idol's latest release is far less p a la ta b le than the more pop-oriented material o f his earlier studio efforts. Describing the fine points o f this album seems pointless in m any respects, and since the music w ill only a p p e a l to a select crow d o f listeners, let's just break it d o w n in point form, assuming the simplistic identity o f the album. You w ill thoroughly en jo y Devils Playground if: Inspired a nd d e e ply contem plative song titles such as "Super O verdrive" and "Yellin' at the Xmas Tree" totally light your fire. You e n jo y lyrics com pletely de vo id o f substance or w o rds o f three o r more syl lables. You think that b a r fighting should becom e an O ly m p ic sport. You en jo y albums w here songs, in terms o f vo ca l style, instrumental style, and content sound exactly the sam e— both because the fam iliarity is com forting and because you have no taste. You use mosh pits as an excuse to e lb o w peo ple in the fa ce because that's just h o w co o l you are. You w e re d ro p p e d as a child. O n to some bricks. Repeatedly. Unless three o r more o f these preconditions a p p ly to you, d o not listen to this record. O r m aybe w e should leave all directions a little simpler: just d o n 't buy it. — Ben Lemieux

m m m T he M m « * » PU B & RESTA URA NT m m Ne w m a n b a l l I f ______ $ invites you to come and celebrate 9 MARCH 19, 2005 @ 8:00 pm m Newman Centre, 3484 Peel St. Tickets only $15 in advance, $20 at the door. # # A Hollywood themed, semi-formal evening featuring... * ❖ Swing Lessons (beginning at 8:30 pm) m tl ❖ Salsa Lessons H T h u r s d a y , M a r c h 9 <♦ Live Swing Band (Catnip Alley) ❖ Light Buffet t§ S t . P a t r i c k ’ s D a y it ❖ Door Prizes m e SN O C O V E R C H A R G E # ^ Imported and domestic | -pr # d ra u a h t b e e r W e h a ve I to choose fro m . « 9 * 2 F L O O R S L IV E M U S IC « » * * # « # * # *

Come swing witH the stars at the . . .

qîchets are avaiCa6(efrom the Newman Centre office (398-4106). Tor more information, pCease emaiCnewman_stucCents@yahoo.com, or visit ourweSsite at: www.mcgidnewmanstudents.ca USJ

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s p o rts HOCKEY

UQTR

REDMEN

(BEST-OF-THREE

SERIES)

Familiar fo e ends R e d m e n season o n c e m o re M c G ill l o s e s dan

11 t h s t r a i g h t p l a y o f f s e r i e s a g a i n s t P a t r i o t e s

M cQ u il l a n

It's hard to chase a w a y o ld ghosts; they just stick around a n d keep haunting their victim s, as w a s evid e n ced Sunday night a t M c C o n n e ll Arena. The Université du Q u é b e c à Trois-Rivières has haunted the Redmen since com ing into the league in 1 9 6 9 , w in n in g all 1 0 previous p la y o ff tilts. The horror sh o w continued as a packed M c C o n n e ll Arena, w ith a record cro w d o f 1 ,5 4 4 , s a w M c G ill lose 4-1 in the third and decisive g a m e o f the O n ta rio University Athletics East division fin a l. The Redmen w e re unable to exorcise their dem ons, scoring first but then relin quishing the le a d for g o o d in the third pe rio d . Rookie Eric L'Italien o p e n e d the scoring e arly in the first, stuffing home a rebound from Patriotes' g o a lie D any Dallaire's doorstep. But UQTR responded before the end o f the pe rio d , w hen M ath ie u T hibodeau p icked o ff an errant pass, streaked d o w n the ice a nd m oved in alone, slid in g the puck through conference M VP M ath ie u Poitras's five-hole. After a fie ry first p e rio d , both teams settled d o w n in the second, w ith M c G ill p la yin g tenta tive hockey. The gam e's tem po slo w e d and turned into a goaltenders duel. Poitras w a s stellar as he has been all sea son for M c G ill. The rookie netm inder stoned UQTR on several occasions. O n e o f his m any g re a t stops o f the night cam e w h ile the Patriotes w e re on the p o w e r play. Poitras took the initial shot o ff his chest, a n d then kicked out his p a d to turn a w a y the rebound. Poitras's d ueling partner, Dallaire, also had a superb outing, w ith 3 5 saves. The Pats took the lead a t the 4 : 0 5 m ark of the third w hen Pierre M o rva n tip p e d a shot from the point past Poitras. After that, the Redmen poured on the pressure, p e p pe rin g D allaire w ith shots. Both D oug O rr and Benoit M a rtin cam e close to evening the score, but O rr b le w a chance a t the e d g e o f the crease a n d M a rtin h ad a w rist shot from p oint bla n k range turned a w a y by Dallaire. The g a m e w a s put to b ed w hen the Pats

scored tw ice w ith the net empty.

Squandering a series lead Follow ing a stirring 6-3 in the series o pen er on W e d n e s d a y a t M cC o n n e ll Arena, the Redmen w e re forced to p la y a d e c id in g gam e after be in g unable to put the Patriotes a w a y in the series' second tilt, a 5 -2 victo ry for UQTR on Thursday in Trois-Rivières. Though M c G ill kept up w ith the Patriotes through the e a rly stages o f the g a m e — courtesy o f a g o a l b y rearguard M a rk Debusschere late in the first p e rio d that countered a marker by Pats fo rw a rd Samuel G ib b o n s — UQTR pulled a w a y w ith tw o g o a ls near the start o f the sec ond. O rr scored as the m id dle fram e w a s w in d ing d o w n to g ive the Redmen a shot heading into the final 2 0 minutes, but UQTR kept the Redmen a t bay, a n d G ib b o n s iced the contest w ith his second g o a l o f the g a m e late in the peri od. D allaire m ade 3 2 saves for the Patriotes to g e t the w in , w h ile Poitras d ro p p e d his first gam e o f the playoffs, a llo w in g all five g o a ls w h ile fac ing 3 6 shots. Three o f UQTR's go a ls w e re scored on the p o w e r p la y as the league's to p unit converted 5 0 per cent o f its chances. M e a n w h ile , the Redmen misfired on nine o f their 1 1 p o w e rp la y opportunities in a chippy, penalty-filled contest that forced the league comm uter to attend G a m e 3 to ensure that both team s— a nd espe cia lly the Patriotes— w e re on their best behaviour.

NICOLE LEAVER McGill's Daniel Jacob was once again on the wrong side of a confrontation with U Q T R .

Putting a positive spin on things Despite e xp e riencing a crushing defeat after the Redmen show ed so much prom ise in the series's o p e ning g am e, Plead C o a ch M artin Raymond had some redeem ing w ords. "I think it w a s a fantastic season," he said. "Too b a d it ends up this w a y. This w a s a fantas tic bunch o f guys; they w e re very com petitive a nd easy to co a ch . [A victo ry here] w o u ld have been the icing on the cake. Unfortunately, w e had our cake but no ic in g ." A lthough the Redmen w e re "very, ve ry dis

a p p o in te d ," Raymond intim ated that they need ed to start b u ild in g a g a in for next season. "You can a lw a ys g ra b pros out o f sports," O rr a d d e d . " W e had a g re a t season. W e had n't finished first in 5 9 years, and I'll be telling my g ra n d ch ild ren a b o u t it in 5 9 years." This prem ature end to a successful season left m any in the b u ild in g w ith tears in their eyes. It is the end o f the road for players such as C a p ta in Daniel Ja co b a n d blueliner C h a d Blundy, both o f w hom have used up their five

years o f elig ib ility. The d a m a g e co u ld be much w orse, however, as several players a re set to g ra d u a te . But there is cause for optim ism tow ards next season, as a talented young core w ill return. After this run d e e p into the playoffs, rookies like L'Italien, C harles G authier, Poitras, a nd Teddy Kyres w ill be counted on for leadership w hen a n e w class arrives in the fall. Pfopefully that g ro u p w ill have m ore success erasing the ghosts o f the past. ■

THE RED ZONE I ju s t

c a n 't

s to p

lo v in g

y o u ELISHA SIEGEL

n today's sports culture o f free agency, salary caps, a nd spoiled m illionaires dem a n d in g trades, it's tough to find an athlete w h o spends his entire career in one city. So w h a t are fans to d o w hen their heroes le a ve — or are run out o f—tow n? Should w e continue to support salary c a p victims a nd those w h o sim ply ditch their teams for b ig g e r paycheques, o r d o w e turn on them, like jilted lovers? This is a tough call. But w hen it comes d o w n to it, there's just no w a y w e can forget a b o ut our favourite players, even if they torched a fe w bridges on the w a y out. Sure, there are the extreme cases that make us w a n t to pre tend the guys never existed, like Vince Carter, w h o turned his back on the team that m ade him famous a nd screw ed a generation o f hapless Raptors fans w h o n o w have num ber 15 jerseys rotting in their closets. But w hen push comes to shove, Torontonians w ill a lw a ys love Vinsanity. In time, they w ill forget his repeated trade demands, the comm encement incident prior to G a m e 7 o f the sec ond round o f the 2 0 0 1 playoffs, and his papier mâché knees. Instead, they w ill remember the 2 0 0 0 dunk contest, his posterization o f Frederic W e is in the O lym pics, a nd the time he d ro p p e d 51 points on Philly. Ultimately, C arter w ill

be rem em bered for putting the Raptors on the m ap and bringing Am erican exposure to a city that h adn't had that much attention since Joe Carter's W o rld Series heroics. Think a b o ut that for a second before you jum p on the Vince-haters b a n d w a g o n . Let me look at another that hits a little closer to home for this Bostonian: Pedro M artin e z. In case yo u 've forgot ten, Pedro w a s far a nd a w a y the best pitcher in baseball in 1 9 9 8 a n d 1 9 9 9 , but a n a g ging shoulder injury a nd a three-year feud w ith Red Sox m anagem ent portended that the end w a s near. N o t even a W o rld Series ring could keep Pedro from ditching the Sox for the M ets, w h o offered him a fa t fo u ry e a r contract w orth a t least U S $ 5 6 million. C a n I blam e Pedro for fo llo w in g the m oney? I hate to say it, but I can't. As much as it pa in e d me to see M a rtin e z put on a M ets c a p and jersey, I can understand the move, in N e w York, he'll be the ace, w hereas he'd lost that jo b to Curt Schilling in Boston; his numbers w ill im prove, as he'll no longer have to fa ce DHs, a nd he'll continue to finance his philanthropic efforts in his home country o f the Dom inican Republic.

As fo r us in Boston, w e 'll still be a b le to take pride in the fact that w e had Pedro w hen he w a s a t his prime. W e w e re w a tch in g w hen he one-hit the Yankees in the Bronx, that time he cam e out o f the bullpen to beat C leveland in the 1 9 9 9 playoffs w ith a b a d back, and his final outing w ith the Red Sox in the 2 0 0 4 Series, w here he a llo w e d only three hits a nd struck out six in seven innings. So if you ask me if I'm g o in g to keep rooting for Pedro, then the answ er is definitely yes. (As long as he never goes to the Yankees, naturally.) W h a t's the lesson here? It's sim ple. It's to o easy to dis miss a player's im pact on a city w hen he leaves, to ques tion his desire a nd challenge his comm itm ent to an organ ization. But no matter h o w much it hurts to see a beloved player g o , w e c a n 't stop rooting for him. That's the reason Shaq w ill still be cheered in LA, Bledsoe in N e w England, a n d ja g r in Pittsburgh. These guys becom e a part o f each city's sports history, and w e o w e it to them to show them love, because— no matter w here they end their careers— a t the end o f the day, they're family. Except, o f course, for Roger C lem ens— he's just a dick. ■

the mcgill tribune | 17.03.05 | sports 21

MARTLETS H O CKEY - NATIONAL CHAM PIONSHIP U n h e r a ld e d

B is o n s

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M a r t l e t s fin is h f o u r t h a f t e r f a llin g t o A l b e r t a , M a n i t o b a ADAM HELLER Although A lberta quashed the M artlets' cham pionship hopes for the second straight year Saturday night, M c G ill still had a shot to join the Pandas as the only team to m edal in three straight years if it g ra b b e d the bronze against the M a n ito b a Bisons Sunday afternoon at M cC onnell Arena. But it w as not to be, and a team that entered the tournament aim ing for a g o ld medal after playing its best hockey o f the year d o w n the stretch w ill leave without hardw are after falling 31 to M anitoba. The main problem for the M artlets w as their inability to beat Bisons' g o a lie Heather Ash more than once in 3 3 shots, something that led M c G ill H ead C o ach Peter Smith to infer that the gam e could have gone either way. "Both teams played really hard," Smith said.. "I'm not sure that w e could have had a better effort. The difference w as that w e had a couple of scoring chances and w ere unable to capitalize." Strong play by both Ash and Kalie Townsend ensured the game's first g o a l d id n 't com e until the second period, on a Bisons p o w e r play after a questionable b o d ychecking penalty w a s assessed to M c G ill defenceman Patrice M ason. It w as the fourth straight penalty called on the Martlets, and perhaps a bit o f penalty-kill fatigue set in as the M artlets gave up several g o o d chances. After a Véronique Lapierre rush that almost netted M c G ill a shorthanded goal, the Bisons stormed into the Martlets' zone and scored on a point shot that w as deflected into the net b y Katherine O'Rourke. But after having been kept scoreless for more than 9 0 straight minutes, the Martlets d id n 't let their frustration get to them, and put together a solid power-play attack that culminated in a goal by Shauna Denis. Julia Carlton sent a shot from the point, and the second-year forw ard banged it in past Ash at 1 4 :1 5 to knot the score heading into the third.

Bisons break the deadlock It becam e clear as the third period pro gressed that the next g o a l w ould w in the gam e, as both goaltenders continued to be stingy, stopping

chance after chance. As time ticked do w n and overtime loomed, both teams becam e more deter mined to break the tie, and M anitoba's w ill ulti mately w on out. Bisons forw ard Chantal Larocque fle w do w n the ice and fired a hard wrist shot at Townsend, w h o m ade the initial save, but the rebound bounced to Am ber Sarraillon, w h o slid it into the net w ith just 1:3 9 remaining. An empty net g o a l by Leanne Kisil 21 sec onds later w ould seal it for the Bisons, sending Smith and the M artlets home empty handed. "At the beginning o f the season our focus w as on winning the g o ld m edal," said Smith. "W h a t w e w anted to accomplish w a s to w in the last gam e o f the year, but w e cam e up a little bit short today."

Martlets another victim of Alberta's streak M c G ill failed to reach the g o ld medal gam e because o f the ram paging Alberta Pandas, w h o ran,their w in streak to 1 10 games w hile beating the M artlets 2-0 on Saturday. Alberta opened the scoring late in the first w hen Townsend gave up a big rebound off a shot from player o f the gam e Lindsay M cA lp in e , and Jenna Barber put it in on the far side to give the Pandas a 1-0 lead. The M artlets held their ow n, though, keeping Alberta's top line—featuring national player o f the year Danielle Bourgeois— scoreless, but the defen sive-minded philosophy resulted in only 10 shots on net. And despite Townsend's heroics in goal, stopping 3 0 shots w h ile m aking some phenom e nal saves, when the Pandas' Taryn Barry scored 3 :3 7 into the third, M cG ill's com eback hopes w ere dashed. Smith noted that if the M artlets had m anaged to crack Alberta g o a lie Andrea Thomas on some early chances, it could have changed the tone of the match. "W e d id n 't generate a lot o f opportunities, but w e d id have some g o o d ones," he said. "It's too bad w e couldn't capitalize on one, because I think if w e had gotten one g o a l, it could have m ade a difference." Both Smith a nd leading-scorer Lapierre could not fault the Martlets for their effort, though. "W e tried to com pete for 6 0 minutes," said Lapierre. " W e gave it everything w e had. They're

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Looking forward Despite finishing fourth, there are some bright spots for the Martlets, notably Townsend coming into her ow n w hile getting her first national cham pionship experience. "C om ing to M cG ill, my biggest problem w as not so much the skills but the mental gam e," she said. "N e a r the end o f the season I discovered

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ho w to get my head into the gam e." Even though veterans like all-star defenceman Peggy Donohue w ill be gone, Smith believes that the team has a lot o f potential next season. “ For the girls com ing back next year there is go in g to be a huge carryover," he said. "I think that they realize w hat level o f hockey they can lay at. The games they have played have been igh-energy, and the experience they gained w ill

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They all knew it w o u ld end eventu ally. But none o f the A lberta Pandas thought their C a n a d ia n Interuniversity Sport record 1 10-gam e w in n in g streak w o u ld meet its demise in the final gam e o f the season, as they w ent for their fourth g o ld m edal in a row. C in d y Eadie m ade 2 4 saves and A m a n d a Joseph scored tw ice, leading the W ilfrid Laurier G o ld e n H awks in upsetting A lberta 4-1 in Sunday's title match a t M cC o n n e ll Arena. "I w a s pleased and impressed with our perform ance," Laurier H e a d C o ach Rick O sb o rn e said. "Like all season, our a p p ro a ch w a s playing to w in , not 'not to lose.'" O sborne has Joseph to thank for his team handing A lberta its first loss since O cto b e r 13, 2 0 0 1 . The 2 3 y e a ro ld fo rw a rd from O akville , O n t., broke a scoreless tie 2 8 seconds into the sec ond period, givin g the H aw ks a 1-0 lead they w o u ld never relinquish. Laurier w e n t up 2 -0 on a g o a l at 1 3 :4 6 o f the frame, a nd then rookie Jessica Judges countered a g o a l by national player o f the y e a r Danielle Bourgeois to restore the H aw ks' lead to 3-1 by the end o f the second. Joseph's

c o m e s

h a lt second g o a l, an empty-netter with 11 seconds left to play, provided the final m argin o f victory. "The entire team d ip p e d in the sec ond period tonight a nd that w a s the d if ference," said Pandas H ead C o a ch H o w ie Draper o f his team's suprising loss. "I am proud of that streak. W e w ill a lw a ys have that accom plishm ent to be proud o f." But even w ith the offensive break out a g a in s t stellar A lb e rta g o a lie A ndrea Thomas and the Pandas' some w h a t lacklustre play, the H awks couldn't have w o n w ithout Eadie, their all-tourna ment backstop. She a llo w e d just three goals in the three gam es she played, a nd turned a w a y numerous Alberta scoring chances to keep Laurier ahead. Defenceman Ashley Stephenson, the captain o f the Haw ks, w a s named the tournament MVP, and joined team mates E adie a n d fo rw a rd Laurissa Kenworthy on the tournament all-star team. Bourgeois a nd Delaney CollinsPye w e re selected from Alberta, and M c G ills Valérie Paquette, w h o notched a hat trick in the M artlets' gam e against St. F.X., rounded out the honourees.

—Andrew Segal

sports | 17.03.05 j the mcgill tribune

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UKBASKETBALL.COM/ DETNEWS.COM Arora says it'll be time to party like it's 1998 for the Kentucky Wildcats and perennial courtside presence Ashley Judd, but Segal thinks that Rashad McCants and top-seeded U N C will have something to say about that. A 12 -seed has beaten a five-seed in 16 of the last 17 years. With that in mind, which number 12 has the best chance to pull an upset?

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Segal: The Panthers from University of W isconsinM ilw aukee. This team w ent to the tournament in 2 0 0 3 , and because the Panthers' veteran starting lineup features four jun iors and a senior, all w ere around For the trip. Their experi ence and scoring punch (74 points per game) should help them overcome an Alabam a team that has fe w quality wins. Arora: The M onarchs of O ld Dominion are the pick here because they pass well, so they w ill slow do w n the p ace of the g a m e —a must for any upset—and they have a star player w h o can take over dow n the stretch in centre Alex Loughton. M ich ig a n State doesn't shoot the trey very well, can turn the ball over if pressed, and doesn't have a go-to

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Which double-digit seed has the best shot of winning two games and making the Sweet Sixteen? Segal: The Blazers o f UAB have certainly been more impressive than their namesakes in Portland, winning big games do w n the stretch to sneak into the tourney. They've got a legitimate chance to upset LSU, and w ill then face the Arizona W ild ca ts, w h o have flamed out in the tournament in recent years. Don't forget, this team knocked off top-seeded Kentucky in last year's second round. Arora: UCLA is a young bunch, but they are talented and w ell coached. They are prone to w e a k interior defence, but Texas Tech doesn't have the personnel to exploit it in the first round. If UCLA can g ra b boards against G o n z a g a and get the Zags' big men in foul trouble, they have a shot at sur prising a lot o f people, including themselves.

Never have all four top seeds made the Final Four in the same tournament, so one has got to drop out before the others. Which team will lose first? Segal: The W ashington Huskies shouldn't be a top seed, and w ill prove that soon after the tournament starts. They're not going to lose to 16th-seeded M ontana, since that's never happened to any top seed, but either Pacific or Pittsburgh w ill pose a challenge, as w ill a revitalized G e o rg ia Tech and under-seeded Louisville. Arora: North C arolina is in the toughest region, and Florida or Villanova are scary third-round opponents. Throw in the fact that the Tar Heels are coached by Roy can't-winthe-big-one W illiam s, and U N C is going to fold against any one o f the tough teams it's due to face.

In terms of its seed, the location of its games, and potential matchups, which team got the best draw ? Segal: Those w h o argue the selection committee is biased towards Duke may just have some fodder, as the Blue

Devils captured a top seed ahead o f W a k e Forest despite fin ishing tw o games behind the Deacons in conference play. A d d to that the fact that the Devils get to pla y their first tw o games just a couple hours from campus in Charlotte, and you've got yourself a budding conspiracy theory. Arora: The selection committee protected Illinois by placing them in the easiest region, and they play in Indianapolis and C h icago, so they're practically playing at home. Their first tough opponent w ill likeiy be Boston C ollege in the third round, but BC's stock plummeted in the last few weeks.

What about the worst draw? Segal: It's g o t to be the Syracuse O rangem en. C a n 't the Big East get any love? Last year, Big East tournament-winning Connecticut was denied a top seed in the Dance, and the O rangem en, this year's tourney victors, w ere placed fourth despite beating the second-seeded Huskies. C om bine that with a first-round matchup against an experienced and sur prisingly powerful Vermont team — in Worcester, M ass., just a short drive for most Catamounts fans, no less— and there's a team w ith a right to com plain. Arora: Dukes gain is W ake's loss. Instead o f staying in state to start the tournament, the Demon Deacons have to travel to Cleveland to take on a C hattanooga team that can pose matchup problems. W a k e is sometimes shaky on D, and the M ocs have tw o centres that can shoot the three-ball well. Then, W a k e w ill likely face W est Virginia in the second round— a seven-seed that could have been a five. The Demon Deacons can g o far if they can survive W V, but that's a big if.

That's all well and good, but here's the really important stuff: which teams will make the Final Four, and who will come out on top? Segal: N orth C arolina is my only Final Four lock. Beyond that, in descending order o f confidence, it's W a ke Forest, Duke, and O klahom a State, w h o I think w ill get by top-ranked Illinois in the Elite Eight. Ultimately, the Heels are my pick to w in it all. They've played as w e ll as anyone else in the country all season, possess excellent guard play, fea ture a d ependable b ig man in Sean M ay, and led the nation in offence. Roy W illiam s's inability to w in the big one notwith standing, this is U N C 's year. Arora: It is definitely not U NO 's year. Illinois is my sure bet to make it out o f C h ic a g o with the easy draw , and none of that pesky perfect-season pressure. After that it's Kentucky, Connecticut, and my sleeper Final Four pick, G e o rg ia Tech. Ultimately, Kentucky's depth a nd Patrick Sparks's three-point shooting w ill have the W ild c a ts cutting do w n the nets. And that w ill make Kentucky super-fan Ashley Judd happy. And that w ill make me happy. ■

the mcgill tribune | 17.03.05 | sports 2 3

W OM EN'S

NATIONAL

CHAM PIO N SHIP

REVIEW

GREAT GOALIES S tro n g MOHIT ARORA It's not exactly a revelation to point out the im portance o f strong goaltending in hockey. O ne need only look at the success ot netminders such as Patrick Roy and M artin Brodeur, and specifical ly the Stanley C up rings on their fingers, to be reminded of this fact. But as hockey continues to g ro w on the women's side, it is remarkable to note the rapid development of dom inant goaltenders, to the point w here the game's superstars reside almost exclusively between the pipes. But w h y is it that goaltenders are so far ahead of the rest o f the skaters on the ice? "I think strength is an issue,” says M c G ill H ead Coach Peter Smith. C oncordia H ead C oach Les Lawton expands on that idea, noting that fe w players have strong enough shots to beat goaltenders from very far out. "The women's gam e is played very tight around the net,” Lawton says, which allows for taller goalies to be able to get more coverage of the net and better control of rebounds. The lack of b o d y contact in w om ens hockey also makes size am ong skaters less of a priority, so bigger athletes can move into the net and have an impact there. Indeed, the tw o most celebrated goaltenders in the tournament, Concordia's C ecilia Anderson and W ilfrid Lauriers C indy Eadie, are both in the neighbourhood of six feet in height.

Clash of the titans W h e n the tw o faced off on Saturday night, the gam e pitted tw o teams that w ere a mirror im age of each other. Both Laurier and C oncordia em ploy defensive strategies that rely heavily upon their goaltenders. G olden Hawks Head Coach Rick O sborne discussed the approach his team took when playing against C oncordia. "You know the five-on-five stuff is going to be a draw, so w h o ever has the better special teams and whichever g oalie wins the duel, that's the team that's going to w in ." But w hile O sborne m ade clear mention of the specific matchup in net, both goaltenders insisted they don't care who's behind the other mask. "I have no say in w hat happens at the other end," Eadie said, adding "and she can't score on me

T W O -P O IN T

g o a lte n d e r s

C I S 's

s a v in g

g r a c e

Alberta H ead C oach H o w ie Draper is can d id about the lack o f attention his goaltenders, Andrea Thomas and backup H olly Tarleton, received during the team's undefeated regular sea son. "The reality has been that they don't face a tremendous amount of shots, so people don't nec essarily lend credence to their capabilities," he says. "But sometimes it's tougher to play in a game where you might not get a lot of shots, and then all of a sudden you get three." Draper also points out the fact that the two goalies have the unenviable task of facing the Pandas' offence every d a y in practice. "They're going against some of the best shooters in C a nada, and more importantly, they challenge oyr shooters," he explains. "If they w ere weaker goaltenders, I don't think our offence w ould be as strong." Thomas laughs off the notion that starting in net for Alberta is the easiest jo b in the country. "Personally, I prefer to get 3 0 shots a gam e," she says. "But if w e run into a hot g oalie and only get one or tw o [goals], then I have to be ready for the 12 shots I'm going to see."

at least I hope not." Anderson also had little to say about the duel. "I'm just the g o a lie ," she deadpanned. O sbornes w ords proved prophetic, though, as Laurier netted a power-play goal and a shorthanded marker in dow ning the Stingers 3-2 to advance to the g o ld medal game, with Eadie get ting the better o f Anderson on the night.

The Martlets' two-headed monster But the show dow n between Eadie and Anderson, each their respective conference's play er of the year, w as far from the only interesting sto ryline o f the C a n a d ia n Interuniversity Sport tourna ment. After falling to C oncordia in the provincial championship, M c G ill faced the dilemma of choosing between tw o cap a ble goaltenders, Kalie Townsend and Catherine Herron. After splitting time in net all season, it appeared that Herron had emerged as the starter, playing all three games in the first-round playoff matchup with O ttaw a. But Townsend took to the ice in G am e 2 o f the C oncordia series and turned a w a y 2 0 shots to earn a shutout and force the series to a decisive third game. "W e 're blessed with tw o outstanding goaltenders," said Smith before the tournament. "But playing in net is a question of confidence. N o t only the goalie's confidence in herself, but the team's confidence in their goalie." Based on the w in over C oncordia, Smith elected to give the third 7 ear Townsend the nod over rookie Herron in the national tournament, and the former understudy to über-goalie Kim St-Pierre played well despite posting a 1-2 record.

Worlds collide in the gold medal game That w as precisely the situation when Alberta faced Eadie and the G olden Hawks in the cham pionship game. Eadie held off the vaunted Pandas' attack in the first period, w hile Laurier only tested Thomas four times in the frame, which equalled the most shots Thomas had seen in any one stanza up until that point. In the second, however, Laurier opened up their attack with the confidence that Eadie w ould hold them in the game, and beat Thomas three times in eight shots to place Alberta in the unfamil iar situation of having to mount a com eback. But try as they might, they could only put one past Eadie, and the G olden Hawks skated a w a y with the gold medal in a 4-1 win. The most com pelling aspect of all these goal tending subplots at the CIS tournament w as how they all seemed to converge and essentially dictate the outcome of the national championship. The events that unfolded at M cC onnell Arena last weekend proved that, in CIS wom ens hockey, the best storylines are found standing on blue ice. ■

The overlooked stars O n e of those losses came at the- hands of three-time defending CIS champion Alberta. The Pandas boasted the nation's best offence this year, scoring 1 21 goals in conference play alone, but w hat fle w b e lo w the radar was the fact that they only yielded to 16 opponents. There w as a cloud of mystery over Alberta's goaltending situation entering the tournament, with the idea floating about that the Pandas' top go a lie is merely their strong forecheck.

Laurier goaltender Cindy Eadie was named to the all-tournament team.

C O N V E R S IO N

M y MOHIT ARORA ith all the excitement surrounding last week's CIS wom en s hockey cham pi onship, it's easy to get caught up in silly things like wins and losses. But your intrep id Tribune sports guys understand w h a t really merits coverage, and so w e dug deeper, and discovered that which is truly newsworthy. Actually, this w as more of an effort in selfpreservation. Spending an entire weekend at M cC onnell Arena covering a hockey tourna ment, the games began to resemble each other, to the point w here I started to feel like it w a s Groundhog Day. This is w h a t the mind notices when staving o ff mental illness:

Best fans: St. Francis Xavier The X-Women crow d went all out last w eek end, with hundreds o f 'G o X G o " signs, tem po ra ry tattoos, and even St. FX ThunderStix, of w hich they gave me a set. And they sure d id bang the hell out of the inflatable tools of Satan every time the X-Women d id anything remotely positive, like kill a penalty or execute a clean line change. O f course, they gave me free stuff, so w h o am I to com plain?

w e e k e n d

w it h

1 5 0

knowledgeable. That's not a g o o d thing in this case though, since they eschewed a p p ro p ri ate customs— like cheering on their team — in favour of incessant arm chair coaching. Plus, one id io t sitting behind me kept ringing an annoying dinner bell. G o to Hell, man with dinner bell.

Best press packet: Concordia A sharp-looking folder containing C oncordia Stingers trading cards, bumper stickers, and a LiveStrong-esque bracelet that I snapped against my w rist to make sure I could still feel the pain o f listening to tw o fans arguing about a "b o d y contact" penalty call. The lesson, as always: free stuff good.

s w e a ty

w o m

enjoyable to watch the X-Women try to talk themselves into believing they weren't scared of Alberta an hour before the game. O h yeah, St. F.X. lost that game 7-1.

team:

Best logo: Alberta

butterfly tattoo.

The obvious choice is the St. Francis Xavier "X," but I'll take the pa n da . It reminds me o f a South Park episode in w hich the children are visited at school by the Sexual Harassment Panda, before he retires to the Island o f M isfit Mascots. I lost it every time I sa w an Alberta panda after thinking o f that episode. And yes, I'm a w a re that exactly three people w ill find

A stack of black and w hite sheets of paper hastily stapled together that practically disinte grated in my hands. N o t that Alberta wants a n ybody to read about their utter dom ination o f women's hockey or anything.

Best off-ice presence: Manitoba The Bisons w ere very visible around the arena in their co w g irl hats. And I learned something about myself: I like girls in co w g irl hats.

Worst fans: Wilfred Laurier

Worst off-ice presence: St. F.X.

I'll say this about G olden H awks fans: they're

Actually, that's not entirely true. It w as quite

Danielle Bourgeois, Alberta, forward: CIS records in goals, assists, and points; four national cham pionship g o ld medals; and a

Dominique Rancour, Concordia, forward: The Stingers' leading scorer is tiny at 4 '1 1", but she's skilled, tough, and adorable.

Laurissa Kenworthy, Wilfred Laurier, forward: The G olden Hawks' leading scorer exudes nothing but confidence on and off the ice.

this funny.

Kristin Nickel, Manitoba, defence: Worst logo: Concordia

Worst press packet: Alberta

e n

It's a freakin' bumblebee, dammit! O kay, so it sounds like the tournament wasn't very much fun to be around, but that's misleading. W e are talking about the best in women's hockey C a n a d a has to offer, and these are excellent athletes w h o worked very hard to accomplish w h a t they have. And I adm ire them for it. A nd a number of these fine athletes stood out because they w ere dynamite on the ice, and looked dynam ite off o f it. There is nothing in the w o rld as beautiful as the com bination of talent, charm, and a nice smile. W ith o u t further ad o , I present my All-Hot

The Bisons' captain is actually a fo rw a rd , but she plays the point on the p ow er play, so w e 'll put her on defence. She looks nothing like a bison.

Whitney Eastwood, St. F.X., defence: A very g o o d defender w ith a very nice smile.

Andrea Thomas, Alberta, goaltender: The inspiration for this team. She even told me she loved the idea. There you have it, folks. This is w h a t got me through the weekend, just d on't tell me to g o bang my ThunderStix. ■

SSM U P o s i t i o n s A v a i l a b l e 2 0 0 5 - 2 0 0 6 a c a d e m ic y e a r D o

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in v o lv e d

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lif e

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y e a r ?

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