The McGill Tribune Vol. 24 Issue 25 by The Tribune

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Curiosity delivers. Vol. 24 Issue 25

Tuesd ay, M a rch 2 2 , 2 0 0 5

PUBLISHED BY THE STUDENTS' SOCIETY OF MCGILL UNIVERSITY

S t r ik e

r e a c t io n s

O n lin e v o t e o n

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XIANG GU & MIKELIS STEPRANS M o re than 5 0 0 M c G ill students w ent on strike last Friday to protest Q uebec's cuts to the university loans a nd grants program . An online plebiscite is also underw ay, asking students w h e th e r M c G ill should strike a g a in on Thursday.

LAURASABA Early Friday m orning, striking students g a th e re d a t the R o ddick, M ilto n , a n d M cTavish G a te s to form p ic k e t lines. Demonstrators m ade noise, chanted, w a ve d posters, a nd cheered w hen passing cars honked. Some protesters heckled students crossing the picket line. O n rue M ilto n , stu dents threw snow balls a t a cut-out o f Premier Jean Charest, w h ile at the main gates they set up a m aze o f y e llo w po lice tape. "The w h o le idea here is to in some w a y

ix e d

p r o te st e n d s to d a y

make students choose to g o through the pick et lines, so that they realize that they are do in g something that they should be thinking about," said A aron D onnyG lark, Students' Society vice-president (community and government)elect. "It's a m aterial w a y o f getting students to think ab o ut w hether or not they really w a n t to g o in the cam pus despite the strike." Nevertheless, students w h o w a n te d to attend class d id not encounter a n y difficulties. “ [The protesters] o n ly g a ve out papers," said Jennifer Barton, U 2 Arts. "They are pretty nice and they d o n 't bother yo u ." Later in the day, close to 1 5 0 students m arched to the James Adm inistration b uilding, holding p lacards and chanting, in a peaceful yet vocal demonstration. "I believe education should be accessible to everybody," said M a d e le in e C ohen, a UO Arts student. Billy Denman, U 2 Electrical Engineering, said that education should not be free. "People say that free education is a right," he said. "It's not a rig ht— it's an invest ment yo u 're m aking, a nd w hen you d o gradu ate, you can p a y b a ck society.” M a n y o f the protesters w e re out-ofprovince students not directly affected by the cutbacks.

in sid e1

See STRIKE, page 4

N E W S

ho is the face of McGill's administra tion? Principal Efeather Munroe-Blum is the most recognizable person of the university's top leaders. In her two years on the job, she has had to answer tough questions about campus issues, ranging from food servic es to Muslim prayer space. The Trib sits down with the lady herself.

A T T E N T IO N

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EXCLUSIVE behind the lo w frozen tuition fee p o lic y in Q u e b e c are g re a t social values. They're based on the notion that if you have lo w frozen tuition o r even as in some western European countries no tuition, yo u 'll have greater accessibility. The fact is it isn't true. It sim ply doesn't w o rk ... The reality is that right n o w the Q u e b e c governm ent pays more per student than a n y governm ent in C a n a d a . W e have the lowest tuition fees in N o rth A m erica, w e have b e lo w a v e ra g e partic ip a tio n for C a n a d a , a n d w e have the lowest d e g re e com pletion rates in C a n a d a , not at M c G ill, but in Q u e b e c. W h y ? Because if you're truly fin a n cia lly d isa d va nta g e d , tuition isn't w h a t stands in the w ay. It's tuition plus cost o f living, housing, fo o d , transportation, all o f those things. The systems that seem to be ve ry productive [a re in] O n ta rio or N o v a Scotia. N o v a Scotia's not a rich province b y a n y m eans... [but it] has the highest p a rticip a tio n rate and the highest tuition fees. O n ta rio has h ig h — not the highest— but high tuition fees a n d ve ry g o o d p a rticip a tio n . The p o licy that w e 're p ro p o s in g — a nd that I'm very much the author o f— is that in Q u e b e c w e need a system w here w e can re-regulate, not deregulate, tuition. W h a t does that mean? It means have a p re d icta b le , reasonable increase ye a r over ye a r that universities co u ld choose w ith their b o a rd o f go ve rn o rs... O u t o f a n y new d o lla r o f increased tuition fee, 3 0 cents w o u ld be taken a n d put directly into student a id a t that university on an a cco u nta b le basis.

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How effective do you think the student strike will be? W e ll, it d e pends h o w long they leave for. I think that students have to m ake a decision a b o u t w hether they w a n t to be in the classroom or not.

Negotiations over Muslim prayer space have deadlocked because the administration refuses to meet with advocates for the Muslim Students' Association. What is the reasoning behind that? W e d o n 't reco g n ize this to be a legal situation. O u r interest is in helping our students to find sp a ce to acco m m o d a te their needs. W e have no interest in g o in g through interm ediaries.

Does the administration have legal counsel in this case? W e 're v ie w in g this as a situation w here w e 're interested in helping students find space to acco m m o d a te their needs. W e 're not vie w in g this as a legal issue.

As principal, you've overseen the downsizing of the Board of Governors from 45 members to 25. Do you have similar plans for the university Senate? As I've said from the beg in ning , I have no inter

prayer

t o tu itio n .

est in decreasing the numbers o f Senate. I think Senate shares w ith the adm inistration a desire to lo o k a t h o w to m ake Senate w o rk most effective ly in support o f its gove rn a n ce purposes, a n d in that regard w e 're constantly looking a t h o w to im prove the op e ra tio n o f Senate.

How does the administration justify charging international students more than is legally per mitted by the province? W e are in discussions w ith the governm ent on international fees. It's an o n g o in g discussion, so until that's resolved w e 're p ro ce e d in g as w e believe w e must to p ro vid e a d e qu a te support. The tuition a n d student fees that w e ch a rg e are fully supported b y the Board o f G overnors and the government's ve ry e n g a g e d w ith our discus sion. O u r aim s are a lw a ys driven b y a ch ie vin g q u ality a n d a ccessibility to the best o f our a b ili ty. W e are d e e p ly underfunded on all counts to be a b le to d o that right now, to guarantee accessibility.

You've previously mentioned a "people who can pay, will pay" system with regard to tuition. How do you envision that working? From my p oint o f view , the social values that rest

W e have that p o licy on international students already, but it's at the level o f 2 0 cents, but a g a in w ith a com m itm ent to g o in g up on that. This is also depen d e n t on governm ent not d e cre a sin g the a m o u n t o f investm ent they [g iv e ]... I d o n 't favour the BC a p p ro a c h w hich is totally deregulate, take the c a p o ff tuition and let universities ch a rg e w hatever they w a n t and w ith no comm itm ent to g ro w in g student a id .

What was your reaction when Senate created a permanent committee to oversee Ancillary Services, which controls food services, course packs, and parking, among other things? W e ll, it's a ctu ally still in play. It's in p la y because there are questions a b o u t w h e re responsibility lies. The Board o f G overnors has responsibility fo r the fin a n c ia l dim en sio n s o f A n c illa ry Services, adm inistration has responsibility for the judgments that g o into creating an effective a rra y o f A n cilla ry Services, a nd Senate has cer ta in ly a ca p a c ity to g ive a d v ic e on this.

Does that mean the Ancillary Services committee may not materialize? There's a ctually a process that's in p la ce w hich is that Senate asked for a com m ittee to look at structure. That comm ittee's looking a t a structure a n d [w ill] com e b a ck w ith some proposals to Senate. So it's just, there hasn't been com pletion o f the process. [It] d e p en d s w h a t recom m enda tions b a ck to Senate are and w h a t the response o f Senate is to those. I think there w ill be some process to increase consultation on the d e ve lo p ment o f A n cilla ry Services. I just c a n 't predict.

Name three mistakes you've made during your time as principal. O n ly history can tell what's a mistake and w h a t isn't, but let me say w h a t the c h a lle n g e is— it's

w h y w e 'v e created the tow n halls a nd I've cre ated more a nd more a d hoc or spontaneous opportunities to get together w ith people. W e are a huge, diverse co m m u n ity... I'd say the greatest frustration a nd m aybe the learning curve is to figure out w h a t are the mechanisms and m odalities to be a b le to not just com m uni cate o u tw a rd , w h ich is a challenge, but also to hear in, because every tim e I e n g a g e in a con versation w ith a g ro u p o f p e o ple a t M c G ill, I'm smarter. You have to make real time judgments as princi p a l... I g e t some right a nd g e t some w ro n g . But the gre a t jo y o f the jo b is that a t university and espe cia lly a t our M c G ill, even w hen yo u 're d e a lin g w ith the toughest things, w hen yo u're d e a lin g w ith tra g ic things, like the death o f stu dents or the tsunami im pact on members o f the b ro a d e r M c G ill community, there are fabulous things taking p la ce a t the university in the class rooms, in the labs, p e o ple fa llin g in love on the grounds, p e o ple expressing their interest in polit ica l a n d com m unity initiatives. That's w h a t makes it so totally w orth it a t the end of the day.

How is your French coming along? How does not being fluent affect your ability to accomplish your goals? M y a b ility to read French is fa irly com petent a nd my v o c a b u la ry is a ctually com petent, but verb conjugations a n d so forth w e re hugely challeng ing for m e... I had my first tw o weeks on the jo b as princi p a l... and suddenly felt like something that I've counted on being a relative strength— being a b le to express myself p u b lic ly — becam e a huge h a n d ic a p ... So I really started a program o f w o rkin g w ith a tutor, rea d in g the French news papers, listening to French ra d io a nd taking every m eeting that I had, com m itting myself to w o rkin g in French, not in English. You ca n im ag ine as a professor— and w a n tin g to represent my university as p rin cip a l — it's hard to feel like an id io t expressing yourself, but I just pressed on d o in g it... I w o u ld still not call myself by any means fluently bilin g u a l, but I think I'm becom ing functionally bilingual.

You've said in the past that you wish you could interact more with students. What has been your most negative interaction with a student? I d o n 't think I've had one. I've had d yn a m ic inter actions w ith students a nd interactions w ith stu dents w h e re there's been upset or tension or unhappiness or grief. The fall w as a tough, tough fall. I'd say that fa r a n d a w a y interacting w ith students in a p e rio d o f m ourning... is very m oving, but I feel g o o d every tim e I interact with students. I'm not a t all separated from them by expressions o f different points o f v ie w o r anger o r upset o r need o r a n y o f that. W e 're in a learn ing environment, w e 're learning together, and w e 're creating an experience together. I have different responsibilities than students d o , but I d o n 't ever com e a w a y feeling, "I'm sorry I w as there." I d id a v o id the [p icke t lines a t the] gates this m orning because I needed to be here. ■

—C om piled by Jennifer Jett and Laura Saba

T h ere a r e fa b u lo u s th in g s ta k in g p la c e a t th e u n iv ersity in th e c la s s r o o m s , in th e la b s , p e o p le fa llin g in lo v e o n th e g r o u n d s , p e o p le e x p r e s s in g th eir in terest in p o litic a l a n d c o m m u n ity in itia tiv es. That's w h a t m a k e s it s o to ta lly w o rth it a t th e e n d o f th e d a y .

C A M P U S

th e mcgill tribune | 22.3.05 | news

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for only a toonie, you can get a listing in the print and online editions of the Trib. Drop by the SSMU office (Brown Student Building, Sotte 1200) to pick op a form. Deadlines ore Fridays at 3;30pm For more information, email calendar@ltibune.mcgill co Next issue is the last set of campus listings for the year! Campus listings can also be posted online at w w w mcgilltribune.com after the last issue.

O B TA IN PERM ANENT RESIDENCY IN rfe ■ ' i

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PHOTOS BYSEEMAJETHAIAL JAY PA LE JA Smokers can breathe a sigh o f relie f— Sadie's T ab a g ie in the Shatner University Centre w ill continue to sell cigarettes b e yond the end o f this school year. A Students' S o cie ty O p e ra tio n s com m ittee report has rec om m ended that Sadie's keep selling to b a c c o w h ile decreasing the volum e o f its advertising. In February o f last year, SSMU council passed a m otion to let its con tracts w ith to b a c c o com panies expire this June, leaving Sadie's smoke-free. W h ile this proposal w as a p p ro ve d last year, this year's council is not bound b y the decision a nd is free to m ake its ow n. A t the tim e o f the m otion, council also m andated the O p e ra tio n s com mittee to explore alternative revenue sources for Sadie's. The committee's recom m endations w e re revealed at last Thursday's c o u n c il m ee tin g . C igarettes w ill continue to be sold, but advertising m ay be decreased by w a y o f dism an tlin g the disp la ys. C igarettes w o u ld be hidden behind the counter, beneath w a rning s a b o ut the dangers o f smoking. The report w e n t on to explain that other tenants o f Shatner a nd out lets on cam pus w ill continue to sell cigarettes, regardless o f the decision, G ert's Pub, for exam ple, has a sepa rate contract through 2 0 0 7 w ith c ig a rette manufacturer Benson & Hedges. C a fé ra m a in Shatner a nd AUS Snax in Leacock w ill also continue to sell cigarettes. W ith the absence o f cigarettes, Sadie's w o u ld have e n ded up w ith o p e ra tin g losses in each o f the last three years. C ig a re tte sales have ranged from 5 0 to 5 5 per cent o f total sales, m aking it a crucial source o f revenue. Last ye a r alone, sales from cigarettes am ounted to a p p ro x i m ately $ 7 0 ,0 0 0 , but this figure does not include purchases o f com plem en ta ry products m ade b y smokers. "I w a s an a d vo ca te o f [the pro posal] before I s a w the numbers," said Anthony Di C a rlo , SSM U vice-

president (operations). "O th e r schools phased [cigarette sales] out, o r subsi d ize d their convenience stores... They are not like us w h o try to break even or m ake a pro fit." The crucial m itigating factor for continuing cigarette sales w a s the via bility o f Sadie's itself. "You're asking to kill this con tract, fb kill S a d ie 's,” said Di C a rlo . H aissam D a h a n , last year's Dentistry representative and author of the o rig in a l m otion to stop cigarette sales, a g re e d that selling cigarettes is lucrative.

"I am d isa p p o in te d ," said N a fa y Choudhury, a Clubs a nd Services rep resentative. "The g o a l w a s to explore the alternative sources o f revenue...I d o n 't see an effort, just a last minute c o p out." Di C a rlo responded b y repeat e d ly referring to phone cards as another source o f revenue, but said that the com m ittee w ill look a t other initiatives to increase sales. The heated d e b ate w a s deferred to next w eek's council session, w hen D ah a n and current D entistry Representative C a ro lin e C h o i w ill pro

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Cigarette sales have ranged from 50 to 55 per cent of total Sadie's sales, making it a crucial source of revenue. Last year alone, sales from cigarettes amounted to approximately $70,000.

"It's m ore a d d ic tiv e than c o c a in e ," he said. "They've had a w h o le ye a r to make Sadie's pro fita b le w ithout ciq a re tte s... T hey've d ro p p e d the b a ll." Current members o f council also questionéd the report.

pose g ivin g SSMU more time to find these alternative sources o f revenue fo r Sadie's. "Instead o f taking a proactive role... [the O p e ra tio n s com m ittee] has d o n e nothing ," said Dahan. "They haven't d o n e their jo b ." ■

Smokers keep the Shatner University Centre's tabagie afloat.

QUOTABLES

"Its kind of like the greater powers act like gang sters, and the little powers act like prostitutes, and I'm sad to say that Italy was a prostitute." —Professor Diane Labrosse, in her Modern European History class, on the Triple Alliance during World W ar I.

W E D N E S D A Y M A R C H 23, 2005 @ 6:00 PM TH O M S O N H O U S E B A LL R O O M 3650 M C TA V IS H F R E E B E E R A M B P IZ Z A ! FOR MORE INFORMATION C H EC K OUT OUR W EB SITE: h t t p :/ / w w w .w e b .n e t / ~ a g s e f i i

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C A M P U S

NEWS

ANALYSIS

NEWS

D o in g S t r i k e in s o l i d a r i t y w i t h Q u e b e c S tu d e n ts s a c r ific e c la s s e s to

stu d e n ts

w it h

b u s in e s s

c o n s c ie n c e

m a k e th e ir p o in t S S M U 's e t h i c a l p u r c h a s i n g p o l i c y

Continued from cover "I am not being shot a t by Am erican soldiers, but am still against the w a r," said Blake Sifton, U1 Arts. E n g in e e ring students w e re am ong those w h o seemed less enthu siastic a b o ut the strike. Both the Trottier and M c C o n n e ll Engineering buildings w e re filled w ith students busily w a lk ing to class or w o rkin g on assign ments. "I'm g o in g to class because I think the strike is pointless, a nd that it's m aking the students o f M c G ill look b a d ," said Denman. Some students sim ply chose to g o to class for a c a d e m ic reasons. "Personally, I'm not even thinking o f striking because there's no w a y .1 c o u ld a ffo rd missing a w e e k o f school," said H icham Ratnani, U2 Electrical Engineering. In a statement, the university said it w o u ld not accom m odate students w h o missed exams or assignments to strike.

Strikes ongoing in Quebec A cco rd in g to Donny-Clark, the strike had an im pact. "It is sending a message to the governm ent that students at M c G ill are unhappy a b o u t [the cuts]," he said, a d d in g that it also raised awareness am ong M c G ill students w h o m ight not otherw ise understand the situation. The strike w a s the result o f a G eneral Assembly held tw o days ear lier, w hen a g ro u p o f more than 8 0 0 students vo te d o v e rw h e lm in g ly in favour o f taking this action. The d a y long protest w a s a show o f support by M c G ill students w h o favour the o n g o ing province-w ide strike against the

sets a n

MATTHEW HENDY

LAURASABA Peacefully protesting politics: McGill students cut class for a day. governm ent's $ 10 3 -m illio n cut to fin a n c ia l a id last sp ring . Student groups on strike argue that the action is necessary because other attempts to pressure the Charest governm ent to reinvest the m oney have failed. "The strike is a lre a d y show ing signs o f success," Sifton said. "Demonstrations are getting b ig ger," he a d d e d . "The tide is turning." U1 Arts student Stuart C haim berg said that missing class sends a contra d ic to ry message. " M y o p in io n is that they are not really g a in in g anything out o f striking, because they are striking for their edu ca tio n , yet they are skipping class," he said. "It's kind o f h yp o critica l." O n the other hand, Donny-Clark said that missing class w a s a sacrifice. " W e w a n t p e o ple regardless of their means to be a b le to g o to school, a nd w e 're w illin g to sacrifice some thing for that," he said. "I just d o n 't see a n y con tra d ictio n ."

Students reluctant to strike argued that Q u e b e c students a lre a d y benefit from lo w tuition rates. "I think that living in this province w e have a pretty g o o d d e a l," said C h a im be rg , a Q u e b e c resident. “ It's the cheapest education a n yw here in N orth A m erica. I'm pretty h a p p y w ith the cost o f education as it is." O th e r students, such as Ratnani, questioned the intent o f striking stu dents. "I believe a lot o f p e o ple w h o are striking are p e o ple w h o just w a n t to strike," he said, "a nd p e o ple w h o really need the bursary w ill p ro b a b ly be w o rkin g a part time job, trying to make up for the m oney they lost." ■

—Additional reporting by Lisa Varano Do you think that M cG ill should stage a second day-long strike this Thursday? Vote online until noon today at

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BENJI FEIDAAAN

SSMU can no longer be accused of being two-faced. ast sp ring , the Students' Society becam e the first stu de n t a ssociation in N o rth Am erica to a d o p t an ethical pur chasing policy. The p o lic y stipu lates that the SSMU should boy cott com panies whose m anufac turing practices are inconsistent

Anthony Di C arlo. Despite its o p e rational suc cess, this ne w p o licy has one uncontestable w eakness— it only ap p lie s to SSM U. As a small org a n iza tio n , SSMU has a m od est purchasing budget. As such, the im pact o f its ethical purchas

As a small organization, SSMU has a modest purchasing budget. As such, the impact of its ethical purchasing pol icy on boycotted companies is negligible.

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w ith certain ethical standards with respect to labour a nd the environ ment. For exam ple, the po licy states that SSMU should not pur

ing p o licy on boycotted co m p a nies is negligible. "Since w e 're so small, w e lack m onitoring and enforcem ent

chase g o o ds from com panies that e n g a g e in p ra ctice s such as fo rc e d labour, d is c rim in a tio n , child labour, o r excessive pollu tion, either directly o r through sup pliers. W h ile this p o lic y seems attractive in theory, it raises ques tions o f logistics. W ill it handcuff SSMU operations, or fo rce SSMU into more expensive contracts? Rachel M arcuse, chairperson o f the S o c ia lly Responsible Investment W o rk g ro u p and the architect o f SSMU's ethical pur chasing policy, brushed o ff these concerns. "After a ye a r o f research, w e cam e up w ith something very flex ib le ," she said. In a d d itio n to exem pting con tracts under $ 5 0 0 , the po licy a llow s SSMU to select the "nextbest" c o m p a n y if it is unable to find a co m p a n y that com plies with the enumerated ethical standards. "These clauses w e re d e s ig n e d to a llo w SS M U a degree o f le e w a y a nd discretion,” said M arcuse. The SSMU executives give the p o licy a ringing endorsement. "To date, implementation has run sm oothly—the biggest im pact o f the p o lic y is that SSMU n o w charges students an extra penny for a cup o f co ffe e," said SSMU Vice-President (O pe ra tio ns)

pow ers," said M arcuse. In other w ords, the SSMU has no w a y to m ake sure that com panies a ctually co m p ly with the standards set out in the policy. "The real g o a l here is to set an exam ple for M c G ill," said Di C arlo. M c G ill, unlike m any other reputable institutions such as the University o f Toronto and H arvard University, lacks a form al ethical p u rch a sin g p o lic y . The Free Burma C o a litio n has a p p ro a ch e d the adm inistration w ith a plan for more socially a cce p ta b le invest ment in Burma, w h ich is currently under review. In most cases, the M c G ill adm inistration evaluates co m p a nies' ethical standards on a "case b y case" basis. "[M c G ill's ] stance on ethical purchasing is flimsy and they need to catch up," said M arcuse. W h e re a s the M c G ill a dm in istration m ay be d ra g g in g its feet on this issue, student associations at local universities have rallied around SSMU's initiative. The stu dent associations at M ontreal's four universities plan to form a co a litio n to co m bine their efforts on this matter, and the C o n co rd ia Student Union is currently com pos ing a n e w purchasing p o lic y using the SSMU p o lic y as a tem plate. ■

CAMPUS

th e mcgill tribune | 22.3.05 | news

NEWS

25YEARSEXPERIENCEINIMMIGRATION K e e p in g

u p

w it h

th e

v ir t u a l J o n e s

ENTER-CANADA M c G ill's t e c h n o l o g y

c o sts sk yrock et

MULTILINGUAL SERVICES ENTER-CANADA

NATALIE EARL M c G ill is fin d in g it increasingly difficult to stay on to p o f the technolo g y w ave. A t the university Senate m eeting on M a rc h 2, Anthony M a si, deputy provost a nd ch ie f inform ation officer, spoke ab o ut the Information Systems a n d T ech n o lo g y b u d g e t a n d the increased dem and on M c G ill for tech no lo g y services. The cost o f pro vid in g Internet services has shot up from a b o u t

per cent o f all students had at least one course that used W ebC T. For exam ple, Political Science Professor Rex Brynen said that the use o f the Internet has becom e very important. “ I use W e b C T in all o f my cours es," he said. In Developing Areas, a course he teaches, one o f the 2 8 conferences is held virtually. "This can be a benefit to really shy students o r in some instances, for students w h o are taking the course w h o are out o f the country," Bjynen said.

staff from other institutions, prospective students, o r any number o f curious W e b users. "O n lin e ap p lica tio ns are huge n o w a n d that's h o w w e p re fe r [prospective students] to a p p ly," said K athleen M u llig a n from the A d m issio n s, Recruitm ent and Registrar's O ffic e . "Like everywhere else, M c G ill is m oving m ore o n line." W ith o u t increasing the budget, there are fe w alternatives for the uni versity, aside from reducing the a va il a b le ba n dw id th . H o w e ve r, there a re oth er

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In his other courses, online dis cussions have taken on an im portant role, a nd W e b C T a n d e-mail are often essential tools, he a d d e d . M c G ill's student population of alm ost 3 0 , 0 0 0 a nd the university's 7 , 5 0 0 staff members are all granted access to the Internet. However, that number doesn't include a nyone out side o f the M c G ill b a ckb on e w h o w ants to access a n y o f the university's inform ation. "The number o f p e o ple inside w e know, but the number o f peo ple out side w h o are trying to access M c G ill is never know n," said G a ry Bernstein, d ire c to r of N e tw o rk and Com m unication Services. O utsiders m ay include faculty or

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By day, students browse WebCT, Minerva, and library databases... $ 5 0 ,0 0 0 a n n u a lly to n e a rly $ 5 0 0 , 0 0 0 in just a fe w years, M asi said. M c G ill currently purchases a b a n dw id th o f 7 0 M b p s from the Réseau d'inform ations scientifiques du Q u é be c. RISQ is a non-profit co rporation that links all o f Q uebec's universities a nd CEGEPs w ith a g ro w in g number o f private and pu b lic research institu tions in a netw ork that stretches more than 5 , 0 0 0 kilometres throughout the province. It w a s first form ed in 1 9 8 9 to p rovide these institutions w ith a bet ter price for their b a n dw id th a nd net w o rkin g needs. The expense is a direct result o f the increasing dem and as university a c tiv itie s b e c o m e m ore cen tre d around the Internet. Last semester, 7 4

T £ S

t i i i i i i i i

options. The b a n dw id th can be priori tized, ranking W e b C T o r M in e rva a b o ve other functions that clo g the b a n d w id th , such as o nline gam es or peer-to-peer sharing program s that m any students use to d o w n lo a d music a n d vid e o files. "During the day, w e prioritize that kind o f traffic in ord e r to fulfill the mission o f the university first," said Bernstein. O ften on ly single investments are required to purchase network technol o g y to im prove e fficie n cy for the w h o le system. "As the w o rld becomes more 'w e b -iz e d ,' more and more peo ple are g o in g to need access to it," Bernstein said. ■

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news j 2 2 .3 .0 5 [ th e mcgill tribune

ANGLES

N E W S BRI E F

C y n ic is m the replacem ent o f several deans. Vinet first cam e to M c G ill in 1 9 9 9 . His sec ond term as provost b e gan last July and had been scheduled to run until 2 0 0 9 .

Vinet vacates provost position Provost Luc Vinet has becom e rector o f the U niversité d e M o n tré a l, e ffe c tiv e June 1. Im m ediately assum ing the p o sition o f a ctin g provost is current D eputy Provost a n d C h ie f

h u m b le

p ie

REBECCA GRABER

—Jennifer Jett

Inform ation O ffic e r Anthony M a si. As provost this year, Vinet o ve rsa w the A c a d e m ic Program Review Process, the o n g o in g

e a ts

Correction In the M a rc h 8 issue, "Saving a seat" w a s not attributted to its writer, G enevieve Jenkins.

drive to hire more than 1 0 0 faculty per year, a nd

"He didn't run across C anada for rewards and tributes. H e ran for the purpose o f trying to find a cure for cancer. "

—Darrell Fox, Terry Fox's brother and national director o f the Terry Fox Foundation.

o as I w rite my last p ie ce fo r the Tribune (not

OFFICE OF THE OMBUDSPERSON FOR STUDENTS

NEED

because my e d ito r has fin a lly d e c id e d to burn me on a pyre for d isreg a rd in g d e a d lines, but because I'm g ra d u a t ing), I bring you pleasant tid ings. Feel that optimism? That's hell freezing over, like the melt ing o f the M o u n t Kilim anjaro ice ca p . The heartw arm ing news: Terry Fox is g o in g to be on a coin. O n the other side o f the loonie, in fact. Perhaps you are like my room m ate, and you feel that the o n ly reason it's Terry Fox on a c o in and not W a y n e G retzky is that G retzky's not d e a d yet. This is possible. But I w o u ld rather think the ch o ice o f the first C a n a d ia n to be on metal m oney w a s based upon ideals o f com passion, triumph o f the human spirit, a n d a ll that jazz. A nd not upon the chance fhat "I'll put my fa c e on any thing" G retzky w a s busy the d a y o f the m inting. Terry Fox e n c o u ra g e d p e o p le to unite to help make life better for those w h o need ed it. As a p o litica l junkie, I see so m any instances o f those w h o presume to govern "for the p e o p le " but w h o m ake the business o f living m ore difficu lt a n d trag ic. W e needn't be passive re c ip ie n ts o f this behaviour, nor need w e back d o w n ag a in st cancer. My tra g e d y is that obscenity law s a n d visa restric tions prevent me from living out

HELP?

The Office of the Ombudsperson for students offers confidential, informal, independent, and neutral dispute resolution services to all members of the student community by providing information, advice, intervention and referrals. For an appointment to meet DR. NORMAN M. MILLER, Ombudsperson for Students, please give us a call at (514) 398-7059 Office location: Brown Student Services Building, Room 5202 Fax: 398-1946 Em ail: om b tid sp erso ii@ n icgill.ca W ebsite: w w w .m cgili.ca/om budsperson

I K

L A S E R V I S I O N C O R R E C T I O N

my days on a trop ica l island drinking m argaritas a n d sun b a th in g topless, but, a la s, there are others w hose circum stances are w orse. For m any M c G ill students, the effect o f p o litic a l fin a g lin g becom es most salient w h e n the higher e d u c a tio n b u d ge t is tossed a sid e because, hey, obviously no one needs to g o to universi ty. But w e can all think o f other things w e 'd like to change. K no w le d g e em pow ers us to kn o w w hen p e o ple or cir cumstances are screw ing us over, a n d gives us the tools to d e c id e w h a t to d o a b o u t it. A n d even if w e 're feeling use less, w e can b e a r witness and try to understand. Fifty-six jour nalists w e re killed w h ile report ing in 2 0 0 4 . They w e re in the trenches because inform ation is on ly pow erful w h e n there are p e o ple to spread it, and w h e n there a re p e o p le to receive it—w h ich brings me b a ck to com passion a n d car ing, and all that H a llm a rk y stuff. You have to g e t a w a y from politics to g e t b a ck to humanity, y 'kn ow ? It's been a p rivile g e to be one o f the Angles columnists this year. I've enjo ye d ranting w ith relative impunity, and I h ope I've m ade you smile a t least o n c e — life is absurd, and I w o u ld n 't w a n t to im ply other w ise. N o w Pm off. It's to o chilly to sunbathe, but I can still m ake some m argaritas. ■

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legislators are pushing for a d a y lig h t savings bill that w o u ld increase the d a y lig h t hours during the summertime, i A British w o m a n used the n é w freedom o f inform ation: law s to ask for a list o f e lig ib le bachelors on the p o lic e fo rce

in her area. A lthough the p o lice force is n o t a llo w e d to g ive her a n y names a nd addresses, they d id tell her that they had 2 6 6 unattached men. • South A frica has introduced stricter gun o w n ership law s, so citizens have begun purchasing knives, crossbows, a n d spears to protect themselves from violent crime. i * ‘.et»,*" v South Africans regularly keep firearm s in their g lo ve com part :■>, : ments to a v o id be in g rob b e d or c a rjacke d a t traffic lights. • A i* W i G erm an man w h o w o n 2 0 . 4 euros last w e e k d id not have time to celebrate his w in because he sa id he w a s g o in g to be late fe k ' for his salesmen job. • A Romanian m ayor is d ivo rcin g his A e: i v Wife because a la w states that spouses ca n n ot work: togeth : . : :* er. • An Austrian man w h o bought a p o lic e uniform a t a • ? •. ; costume shop a n d b e gan to stop fem ale drivers for speedKx> . *> '■ ing told p o lic e that it w a s the only w a y he could meet T sUTii'i w om en. M

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neverknowhowhighweare, tillwearecalledtorise." — EmilyDickinson

hen Jetsgo shut down its operations two weeks ago, canceling every sin gle flight at once, it sent a loud (and vicious) message across the country that dis count airlines can no longer be counted upon. We used to rely on Jetsgo and Westjet in Canada, and JetBlue and Southwest in the US, for basic, no-frills air carriers that simply got us from point A to point B hassle free. They were also convenient alternatives to unfriendly giants like Air Canada and American Airlines. However, revelations of shoddy manage ment, sour customer service, and delay after delay after delay, have all contributed to alien ation of the thrifty. This sentiment is no more prevalent than it is among young people. As students, we are privy to so many options to get us home for the weekend or long breaks, be they Via Rail, bus, or rental car, all of which are affordable. When Jetsgo started flying out of Montreal nearly three years ago, and then Westjet soon after, that meant we could get home faster for nearly the same cost as other methods of transportation. What a fantastic alternative, most of us thought. Beats sitting on the train for an hour longer than scheduled while hearing another Sex DVD playing in the background. Unfortunately, as students, we also know the ins and outs of backpacking across the pond. This includes European forms of travel; and those folks know what they're doing. Cheap flights all around with easyjet and flybe—more economical than a round of marti nis at Newtown—make us cringe at the idea of all the taxes we pay on our airfares, dis count airline or not. Why are we paying to improve Toronto's Pearson airport if I'm flying from Montreal to Halifax? It seems the Europeans have us beat in almost every con sumer product—free incoming calls on cell phones, anyone? North Americans have had to put up with this nonsense for many years. The head of Jetsgo previously went bankrupt on three other airlines, most recently with the student-friendly Canada 3000. Mosf would think twice before entering other industries after three failed attempts in one. Apparently, his motto was "keep on pluggin'"... at least until you screw over thousands of passengers the day before spring break. Since most students have little money at this time ôf year, barely enough to get away, we are the most vulnerable in these situa tions—no Jetsgo passenger has been reim bursed by the airline. Looking at Canada's air line history, only Air Canada has survived the longest. Westjet is holding its own, but is con stantly under investigation for tampering. Further, now that it is flying out of Toronto, its fares have been relatively on par with its chief rival. If not for Air Canada's shameful customer service, there is little reason to travel with the Calgary-based carrier. In the US, Southwest hasn't fared much better with its starring role in the A&E reality hit which showcases the jetliner's flawed service. The pattern is telling us to get out of the discount airline game. Not a decade ago, it was unheard of to even enter—the crash of a Valujet flight in 1996 drew attention to low-fare carriers as a major risk. Since then, we've seen a flurry of action from these types of airlines to combat the sorry state of the current industry. However, not many make it past the five^ear hump, and the consumer is left with the bill more often than not. With Jetsgo's demise, we should look at favourable alternatives that we relied on before this mess. We may not arrive at our destination in record time, but we know, in fact, we will get there. ■

andthe

City

very year, the aftermath of the Students' Society elec tion, including our current state of curiosity following last week's results, has had one thing in common: they leave everyone—the newly elected, the campus press, and the student body at large—bogged down with questions. How will the new team fare? The following is an open letter to the incoming SSMU executive.

Dear SSMUshies, While we voted for you, you should know the students have expressed concern over your ability to work together as a team. Our advice to first-timers: along with owning up to any mistakes you may make as individuals and as a team, you must ignore gossip columns and avoid the trap of appeasing the masses. Get informed about your portfolios now, go ahead with your agendas, and do not be afraid to try new tactics. Adam Conter. With a landslide victory, you have been elected president. Strange as it may sound, you have very lit tle to do to gain and maintain the students' respect: don't resign. If you survive an entire year, credibility may slowly come back to the presidential position, and the campus press will be forever grateful. That said, you do have your work cut out for you. After being elected, you stated, "I'm going to start before May... on learning the job." Keep this promise. Use the enthusiasm voters saw in you to delve into your portfolio, and , use your interpersonal skills to make—and keep—contacts among the McGill administration, student groups, and off cam pus, as well as build bridges with those disillusioned with the presidential position. Leon Mwotia. Address the concerns of all clubs and serv ices equally, ensuring that you pay special attention to mend ing the many broken relationships between bitter clubs. Playing favourites will land you a spot in the doghouse in no time. Stay on top of all club information. And never forget this twoword phrase: "Shatner renovations." Roz Freeman. You have a difficult road ahead of you and your pretty face will only get you so far; this we know from experience. Major SSMU events like Gert's TNT and 4Floors have clearly failed this year, and the communication between SSMU and all undergraduates is weak at best. Don't be afraid to take risks with events where you, and the students, have nothing to lose. If you revamp 4Floors only to see it crumble once again, you'll have done your best, and the student body will have to agree to wave goodbye to the Shatner parties, at least for now. However, a strong focus on communication is crucial. Student apathy is about as high as it can get with regards to SSMU; move thy butt and get the information out there—target marginalized groups, use your bilingualism to its full advantage, and try different avenues, such as using cam pus publications as well as e-mail to advertise events.

crucial

Aaron Donny-Clark. Acclaimed VP community and gov ernment, you now hold the portfolio that generates the most apathy of any. Why else would this be the third consecutive race with no competition? Lucky for you, students are aware of FEUQ now more than ever, due to the rather obvious striking sounds all over campus. By no means do you have an easier road than your predecessors—if you wish to avoid a pie in the face, start taking action by talking to students. Your goals for on-campus debates about FEUQ-related issues are an excellent start, but it is crucial that you continue to keep the information and communication levels high all year long. Eric van Eyken. Some serious number-crunching is ahead of you, Mr. VP Ops. Think hard before dismissing any contract renewal—revenue to replace Sadie's smokes would be need ed straight away. That's only one example. Work with Ms Freeman on the Gert's issue, as you both share the same sen timent on our ailing campus pub. If it succeeds next year, yo'ur finances will be much happier. Last, please remember that not all finances equate to beer—this is not Arts Froshl Max Reed. Acclaimed VP university affairs, you must address the wide range of frustrations with McGill as a whole and all administrative processes. What student does not have a complaint under his or her belt? The difficulty in obtaining academic advising, the ubiquitous red tape mazes, the anger over Ancillary Services debates and changes—you are the voice to represent the above and more. We may be sick to death of hearing aboutChartwells, but the sole way to save our ears is to finally resolve this issue. No, you will not accom modate everyone, but stick to your guns and reclaim McGill for the students—not for the handful of bureaucrats running the farce. To all of you, and not just with each other— so as to avoid another Naeem Datoo fiasco—but with stu dents. Make your policies clear; translate all referenda and plebiscites legalese into plain English to avoid being ham strung by ill-informed student-supported policies, such as reject ing a $36 increase in the cost of the health and dental plan that would coverage levels, while opting to pay $40 more to allow an opt-out while coverage levels will continue to decline. Students aren't that stupid (we think); they just didn't understand, the issue. This election saw the highest voter turnout in SSMU histo ry. It's difficult to tell if it was because of the prize incentives involved, or if students are actually becoming more involved on campus. The new SSMU executive must be ready to listen to concerns and implement changes. Students want to see action; if the action fails, so be it, but if there is none, then we will be hearing "SSMU who?" across campus a lot more often, and voter turnout will suffer once again. ■

communicate,

maintain

Airline,

The_

the mcgill tribune | 22.3.05 | opinion 9

Deconstructing the facade

IV lc G ill

C h a n g in g t h e r e v o lu tio n

T r ib u n e Curiosity delivers. E d t o r - in - C h ie f

Natalie Fletcher editor@tribune.mcgill.ca M a n a g in g

E d it o r

James Scarfone seniored@tribune.mcgill.ca N e w s E d it o r s

Jennifer Jett Laura Saba Lisa Varano tribnews@tribune.mcgill.ca F e a t u r e s E d it o r s

Liz Allemang Panthea Lee features@tribune.mcgill.ca A & E

E d it o r s

Daniel Chodos Lise Treutler arts@tribune.mcgill.ca

brett. schrewe@maiI.meg i11.ca

BRETT SCHREWE

ending confirmation, the World Bankcharged by the UN with fighting poverty and improving living standards in the devel oping world—has a new executive. As a secondyear anniversary gift for his role in designing the Iraq war, Paul Wolfowitz, the current US Deputy Secretary of Defence and card-carrying member of the American neo-conservative faction, has been tabbed for the job. By tradition, the leader of the World Bank is an American, while the head of the International Monetary Fund comes from a European nation. However, this practice betrays a source of the structural violence inherent in the sys tem that has permitted an ongoing state of lowlevel warfare in the developing world, as well as the continued shadow of nuclear annihilation. For the majority of the majority world, the bro ken infrastructure, the abject poverty, and the unfor givable paucity of health care resources has risen in large part from the pursuit of economic wealth by the developed world. It can be seen quite trans parently in Spains control of Latin America in the 1600s and the European dissection of Africa in 1884. In the process, resources and wealth were extracted, and cultures native to the area were thrown into existential crisis by this traumatic exer cise. Completing the cycle is that those natfons

responsible for a great deal of the causal factors of todays conditions are trying to encourage and fund development in these lands. Sadly, it is development on the terms of the First World, both in the hierarchical process and in the form the development takes. These practices in conjunc tion with the work of the IMF have led to some suc cesses, but on a greater scope have served to keep in place the current power differential. With the appointment of Wolfowitz to the top post at the Bank, these undemocratic and denigrat ing practices threaten to be reinforced. The neo conservative movement, of which he is a major power broker, favours democratization and devel opment by the sword if necessary—a routine becoming too frequent with the American evange lization. Structural violence such as this will even tually erupt from its bonds despite attempts to dampen its effects. And when violence breaks out, it is an unpredictable and destructive force. In order to stave off this explosion, some argue for the removal of forces that repress the indomitable spark known as the human spirit, and its right to self-determination—in short, the activist version of the preemptive strike. However, history watched with an abject eye as the French Revolution spilled blood all over Europe for 25 years, and tne structures that arose in its aftermath

put into motion the chain of events that made the 20th century the most violent in human history. As it is, violence creates a debt that must be paid down by future generations. Often, our ways of paying off the interest add more to the principal, locking us in a paradoxical cycle where desper ate, hurried, politically expedient attempts to return to the peaceful black increase the amount of red in which we are ensconced. In this, we are united with the developing world, many members of whom are in similar straits, but with the added crush of monetary debt and economic dependence piled on by the IMF and the agency Mr. Wolfowitz will soon be direct ing. Perhaps this is the common ground that will enable our hearts and minds to finally no longer accept the forcing of what is termed development on nations upon which so much intrusion has already been visited. It is not towards changing the manifestation of inequality that we must work but rather towards solving the equation itself. We must re-chart a third way. There is no reason the dream of equali ty cannot unfold in the waking hours, but it is up to us to take steps to wake up from the blind accept ance that allows suffering. May we continue to rise up in opposition holding always truth as our muse. ■

S p o r t s E d it o r s

. IP ^ ij i : #nr f P ic t u r e ■ ■ SSo SxiS*' • 3 * _whM K_Ij

Radically respectable

Mohit Arora Andrew Segal sports@tribune.mcgill.ca P hoto

E d it o r s

Yasemin Emory Iwona Link photo@tribune.mcgill.ca C opy

p o l i t i c s a n d t h e E n g lis h l a n g u a g e KIM D'SOUZA

kim.dsouza@mail. mcgill. ca hen there is a gap between one's real caused relatively little uproar. "Normal" politics and one's declared aims, one turns as it today is as much a battle over pictures as over were instinctively to long words and words. In my opinion, the abortion question is a star exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink." So reads a particularly memorable sentence in ling example of this battle. And though it's contro George Orwell's essay, "Politics and the English versial, Ithink it exposes the choices we have in the Language." In the essay, Orwell rejects abstract face of picture politics. Orwell himself wrote about abortion in his theorizing in practical moral judgements, believing "For the first time it is symptomatic of insincere politics. To avoid novel opaque dogmatisms, it's better to first get one's he grasped, with the only kind of knowledge that meaning as clear as one can through pictures and matters, what they were really talking about. The words 'a baby' took on a new significance. They sensations. Ifear, however, that we are in a far worse sit did not mean any longer a mere abstract disaster, uation than Orwell was. In his day, language was they meant a bud of flesh, a bit of himself, down contested, but at least one could still turn to pictures there in her belly, alive and growing... He knew without much trouble. Depiction rather than theoret then that it was a dreadful thing they were contem ical argument was Orwell's method of moral com plating—a blasphemy, if that word had any mean mentary, but in our day depiction itself is being dis ing." In contrast, abortion described as "the sever torted. A couple of concrete illustrations from the ing of the foetus from its mother" or "the ejecting of "War against Terror" come to mind. Recall the a foetus from its womb" are deceptive. It's a strange Pentagon trying to get the media not to show pic world where Ann Coulter exaggerations—"sticking tures of the abuse of prisoners at Abu Ghraib. Or a fork in a baby's head," for example—are more again, think how well a nation was inculcated with accurate than the language of many bioethicists. the idea that the suspected terrorists at But anyone who shows pictures of dismembered Guantanamo Bay technically don't have prisoner- aborted foetuses is roundly condemned for foreclos of-war status, so that pictures of their treatment ing civilized discourse with shock tactics.

E d it o r

Sam Goffman sam.goffman@mail.mcgill.ca D e s ig n E d t o r s

Lara Bekhazi Benji Feldman Heather Kitty Mak design@tribune.mcgill.ca O n l in e E d it o r

Lynne Hsu online@tribune.mcgill.ca A d v e r t is in g M a n a g e r

Paul Slachta advmgr@ssmu.mcgill.ca A d T y pesetter

Shawn Lazare P u b l is h e r

Chad Ronalds

KeeptheAspidistraFlying:

There's even conflict over depicting the foetus. Prochoice groups in some American states, having successfully challenged counselling pro-life agen cies in court, are now challenging such groups for funding ultrasound clinics even though no coun selling is involved. Last summer, British professor Stuart Campbell's invention of a new type of ultra sound was publicized with detailed pictures of foe tuses sucking their fingers (and toes!) at 1 1 weeks, yawning at 12 weeks, and smiling at 26 weeks. Immediately, Campbell was subjected to a verita ble inquisition to make sure that he did not harbour anti-abortion leanings. The political result was that the vividness with which we saw the foetuses' faces was obscured, and with it the insight that Jewish philosopher Emmanuel Levinas drew from the Holocaust: "The first word of the face is the 'Thou shalt not kill.'" I've used the abortion example because I think it reminds us that, even in a world of politi cized pictures and language, we still have the option to choose between seeing and not wanting to see because we don't want to know. Our choice has consequences. We need to decide whether we will, in Orwell's words, "make lies sound truth ful and murder respectable." ■

C ollaborators

Stephanie Boridy, Dave Brodkey, Trevor Craig, Kim D'Souza, Natalie Earl, Tony Esteves, Joseph Gilgoff, Rebecca Graber, Xiang Gu, Adam Heller, Matthew Hendy, Gracia Jalea, Seema Jethalal, Jonathan Klein, Ben Lemieux, Sam Loeb, Dan McQuillan, Adam Myers, Caroline Olechowski, Thomas Pagliarulo, Melissa Price, Brett Schrewe, Matthew Segal, Elisha Siegel, Mikelis Steprans, Zenah Surani, Steve Waldman

^letters

3 o> u 0>

T r ib u n e O f f ic e s

Editorial. Shatner University Centre, Suite 110, 3480 McTavish, Montreal QC Tel: 514.398.6789 Fax. 514.398.1750

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Advertising. Brown Student Building, Suite 1200, 3600 McTavish, Montreal QC H3A 1Y2 Tel. 514.398.6806 Fax. 514.398.7490

We have no problem thinking We took issue with some of the comments made in "Boy, girl, boy, girl" (8.3.05). Particularly, we were disap pointed by the comments made by Mr. Simard, a Master's student in Computer Science, who thinks that "women's brains have more difficulty with pro gramming languages." Now we don't know the last time Mr. Simard had a woman's brain, but we have had no dif ficulty programming inJava, C, Matlab, Fortran, Visual Basic, Maple, MIPS, and HTML: we think you see our point. It is no wonder that there is a lack of females in Engineering and Computer Science when society finds it accept able for men to make comments like that. Fortunately, despite a combined

McGillTribune

eight years of studies in Engineering at McGill (in two of the most male domi nated disciplines), we have never heard anything nearly so sexist nor anything so uninformed. We were offended that Mr. Bauer, the author of the article, drew the conclusion that "many men in Engineering still show a reluctance to accept women into what has traditional ly been their vocation" based on Mr. Simard's comments. Neither of these men is in Engineering; and the men, both professors and students, in our fac ulty are nothing but supportive and respectful of their female colleagues. Keep your mouth shut when you don't know what you're talking about.

— Meryl Sponder&VictoriaDavid U3Engineering

The pot... she is stirred It is important to recogriize the fact that the specially funded LSA clubs and projects are instrumental in maintaining identity among McGill Law students (Laying down the law—8.3.05). Sure, there are other SSMU clubs that they may join; it's important, however, to have an element of solidarity among your peers in the same program. Considering that McGill Law students are already paying $30,000 a year in SSMU fees, the loss of the $6,000 grant simply creates bad blood between the LSA and the SSMU.

— JoshElbaz UIEngineering

The is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the Students' Society of McGill University, in collaboration with the Tribune Publication Society. All submissions, including letters, Dismtch Box, Parry &Thrust and Reaction Enqine must include contributors name, program and year, and contact information. Submissions may be sent by e-mail to oped^ribune.mcgill.ca. Any material |udged by the Tribune Publication Society to be libellous sexist, racist, homophobic, or solely promotional in nature will not be published. The reserves the right to edit all contributions. Editorials are decided upon and written by the e^tonal board. All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the its editors or its staff. Please recycle this newspaper. Subscriptions are available for $30.00 per year.

McGill TribT urnibe,une

o p in io n

j 22.3.05 | the mcgill tribune T h e D o se

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If I w e r e

Judge m e not

elis ia.siegel@mail.mcgill.ca

f o r m y iP o d STEPHANIE BORIDY

InresponsetoJamesScarfone's "Iamwithout iPod"(8.3.051. I do own the musical device that is all over campus this year. I do wear those white earphones with extreme self-conscious ness, as they have developed into an inexpli cable fashion statement. I do talk on my cell phone more than Ishould, and nine times out of 10 the person on the other end is... my mom. Ido not have a top 40 hit as my ringer because "Zippidi Doo Da" suits me just fine. I refuse to leave my house on Boxing Day, but I will gladly take part in any poten tially good Valentines Day, Halloween, St. Patricks Day, Victoria Day, or Canada Day celebrations. Iwill put lemon in my water if the opportunity arises—sometimes it doesn't hurt to add something to the "supposed-to-bebland." It does take me half an hour to get ready before I go out, whether it be to Bifteck or Lodge (both suit me just fine). I have gone to Café Campus on a Tuesday and have had a swell time partaking in the inebriated sing-alona ritual. While Miami is not on my top trav el destination list, I would accept a plane tick et there any time during the dead of Canadas winter. Ido like to watch on occasion, and overanalyze how it is only a matter of time before Marissa and Ryan get it on again. I have never seen Ihave never studied for the LSAT, but Iam sure I would love the party that ensues after wards. I also like to finish what I start and set short-term goals, and I make a point of pursu ing what Isay Iam going to do (my pet peeve is those who don't). I do not live anywhere in the vicinity of the Ghetto, and as such I must get up at 7am for a 10:30 class, and commute by train or car. Therefore, in my opinion, nap time is by no means a waste of time. I do have more than one pair of shoes. Iwear Uggs and Ilove them. I do relish in watching the McGill Daycare children frolic around campus. I am an undergrad at McGill. I am also one of the people you seem so quick to judge. Why? What have I done to piss you off? Is it because I fit the "McGill snob" stereotype? Well, your judgment is unfounded. Why don't you try talking to me before judging me so adamantly? I'msure you'll find Iwill challenge your preconceptions. Iam approachable and, unlike many people I have met on campus, I like to smile. Iam not a simple kind of girl, and no, most of the time I do not understand myself.

o I'm sitting in my living room with my roommate Dan, playing MarioKart and discussing the finer points of life. We like to talk about the big issues: race, religion, eth nicity, and girls. But sometimes we just bitch about life—where we want to go, where we think we're headed—the usual fare for soon-tobe graduates. I just watched / so I'm in a particularly self-reflective mood, and Dan's doing his best to help me put life in perspective. And then it dawns on him. "You know what your problem is?" Dan says and pauses the game. "What?" I say. "You're problem is that you're notJay-Z." And then it all became clear. Dan was right: I wasn't Jay-Z and it was killing me; just killing me. If I were Jay-Z I'd be an internation al superstar. I'd have a much easier time get ting dates, and if things didn't work out with Beyoncé, Christina Milian would be on speed dial. I'd get to hang out with Kanye West all day and I wouldn't lose any more clothes because everything I'd own would have my

Heart

name written across the chest. Yup, that's the answer right there. If I were Jay-Z, all my trou bles would melt away. Okay, being Jay-Z wouldn't solve all my problems, but it would be nice, right? Maybe not. We North Americans love our celebrities. We deify them and assign them all kinds of accolades and superlatives. But famous peo ple drop smelly farts too, right? Why do celebrity gossip rags fly off the racks? Why are there so many tabloid shows on television? Why won't people just leave Affleck alone? Do we really care that much about Paris Hilton's sexual exploits? Will my life be unalterably affected if Brad and Jen don't get back together? I don't think so. Take Carson Daly for example. I fucking hate the guy; I really do. It rnakes me angry just thinking about it. He elicits vitriolic pukey feel ings in my gut. I've never seen a guy so unde serving of his position in life. Seriously, I've seen porn stars with more stage presence. Why does Carson Fuckhole get the A-list treat-

ment despite his D-list talent? The guy is the biggest tool on television—why do we impart our love and adoration on a guy whose only accomplishment is that he banged Tara Reid? I don't have an answer for this. It just baffles me. Maybe it's time to stop idolizing people who pretend to be more important than you or I and start recognizing celebrities for who they are: people, plain and simple. So if someone offered me the opportunity to switch places with Jay-Z tomorrow, I don't think I'd do it. I'm going to make all of you kiss my ass on my own. One last unrelated note. Sadly, this is the last instalment of The Dose. I have officially begun counting down the hangovers until graduation. Come June, I'm off to bigger and scarier things—and possibly a stint in rehab— but I want to thank everyone who's come along with me on this ride. I hope it's been as fun for you as it's been for me. This is one dream that won't be easy to wake up from. ■

4 o f f th e b o a r d

I 'm

s o r r y , is t h a t m y

k n ife

in y o u r b a c k ?

TheO.C.

24.

m a n

ELISHA SIEGEL

Huckabees

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LIZ ALLEMANG eing mean is fun. Let me rephrase; being mean to someone who totally deserves to be put in their place is delightful. Now, please, before you shoot scornful glances towards the newsprint, allow me to attempt an explanation. It is not out of moral depravity that I have retaliated. My parents did a fantabulous job raising me, less that decision to send me to a hippy-dippy, chooseyour-own-education pri mary school. All the same, I turned out quite well—do I hear heckling from the peanut gallery?—and the origins of my cruelty are completely self-inflicted. Ionly seek an eye for an eye when it is jus tifiable and appropriate. I enjoyed biting my friends when they would disagree with me, and will even take a nibble these days if called for—sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get attention. When I got the chicken pox at a latent stage, the ripe insecure age of 15, my brother tormented me, saying I looked like a leper. I coughed on his doorknob, and a few short days later, he too was covered in blistering

boils. If a former friend tries to get back on my good side as part of her crack addict anonymous steps, I'll reject her to the point of tears. I do believe that living well is certainly decent revenge—it's the cherry atop the glistening sun dae. You'd like for these people to be jealous of you, but you'd really like it if they were not only envious, buf broke, ugly, and unhappy. Plus, it's a good exercise in confidence for all of us. Evaluate all of the great things going on in your life, whilst omitting the DUIs and that pros titute in Taipei who gave you syphilis. There is little logic behind my revenge campaign. I take much pleasure in teaching people lessons. If you have wronged me, I want to be the one to convince you why you should never do such a thing again. But mostly, I'm just petty and have too much time on my hands. Generally, it is good to refrain from paint ing the town red with retribution. If making peo ple squirm were an official pastime, I would sign up ASAP, buy appropriate footwear, and play along. Half the fun is plotting revenge. Squirreled away in a darkened lair, I con-

jure up complicated schemes and store them in the mental file-o-fax under the "To do" heading. Of course, it is rare that I go through with some of the more elaborate plans—those that would have landed me in prison many times over— but, oh, how a girl can dream about airing the dirty, crab-infested laundry of a former flame to his conservative family, watching the subse quent nervous breakdown ensue, as he's kicked out and his trust fund cut off, then hitting the boy in the back of the head with a shovel. Mmm... feels good just typing that. And mulling over these hypothetical situa tions, hitting the rewind and play buttons sever al times, one achieves a state of Zen similar to if they had actually gone and ratted the boy out. Same outcome, less work, ain't nothing wrong with that. Revenge a dish best served cold. It's even more delicious, though, when it's only served up on special occasions. Incorporating it into your lifestyle adds a delectable element of surprise, one that is sure to satisfy all involved—well, except those who fall ill as a result. ■

Editor'snote: The"Miami"towhichtheoriginal author referred was, infact, the sadly shut downseedydiveontheMain. We prayforher soul. StephanieBoridyisa U3CulturalStudiesstudent. PRI M A T O L O G Y

STEVE WALDMAN & TONY ESTEVES

cam pus CHATTERBOX

P r o fs a r e j u s t lik e y o u : t h e y w a Ron

s e tt le s

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g r e a t B e r k e le y

vs. The biggest problem with the human rights movement today is... lack of a grassroots membership in the develop ing world. Something that my students would be surprised to know about me is... I like to watch sitcoms every night. Stupid shows whose names I'm embarassed to list. My favourite place to go for a night on the town in Montreal is... Au Petite Extra, a bistro on Ontario street. The most important element of a university education is... becoming curious about the world. If I could have any superpower, it would be. .. to be able to concentrate on nothing but work for four hours a day, and not be distracted by email, stupid thoughts, or the phone. The best part of my job is... getting students to think about the world in a different way. —

ames Ron isn't just a sociology professor at McGill, he is also the the Canada Research Chair in Conflict and Human Rights. We caught up with him to ask him a few questions. In a nutshell, political sociology is... the study of political behaviour using soci ological concepts such as social class, ethnicity, or ideology. The human rights issue that needs our attention the most is... severe global poverty and its correlates: civil war, disease, hunger, and extreme inequality. An overseas experience that changed my life was... several weeks collecting testimonies from Kosovar refugees along the border with Albania in 1999. My hero/role model is... my PhD advisor [at Berkeley], Michael Burawoy. What McGill has that Berkeley doesn't... cold weather and a great downtown location in a tremendous city. What Berkeley has that McGill doesn't... warm weather and beautiful hills nearby. The most valuable thing that students learn from my classes is... the impor tance of ambiguity. No one political system, country, race, or group has a monop oly on either virtue or evil.

CompiledbyCarolineOlechowski

MCGILL. CA

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Tuition: $4,400, Society Fees: I Hll Heyscience. I've had a lot of Cheers to Science. $470, Books: $1,000 ...TRACY experience inthe McGill My name is Marta and Iam EBANKSforVPAcademic: community andwill work running for SUS President. PRICELESS. Deciding to study hard to represent undergrads. You may have seen me Science at McGill was a great Students would see their organizing TopGun Frosh, choice, so make another fan money better spent bydistrib Carnival, or assisting in pro IlIlP tastic choice and vote for me! pli ' uting available funds to the grams such as Peer I'll workwith the facultyto llflfaindividual undergrad depart Mentorship, FUSS, and ac^ng ™»--... get your academ ic concerns addressed and help ment councils that represent themand increased as an interdepartmental liaison in my current funding of social events for U1 and upstudents. give YOUthe best education money can buy! position as SUS VPInternal. Iamacandidate with experience, motivation, and enthusiasmforthe job. Iwould like to see Burnside basement renovated into a lounge for all Science students, afiscally responsible SUS council, and increase exposure and participation inall the services we offer YOU! For an Awesome 2005 year. Be Smarta, Vote Marta!

| M ik e

|P r i y a

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Experience and knowledge for two years dealing with numerous SUS events is what Ibring to the table. My HP involvement started as a froshie back in2002 leading upto being one of the recent 2004 Frosh Coordinators. I have clearly been presented with experiences fromboth ends of the spectrumand amconfi dent that these experiences will enable the Science community to have another incredible year! Iwill do what the students want, and keep the SUS tradition alive of having bigger and better events and as our cheer goes...SCIENCERULES! SCIENCERULES!

S a ra

C h a n

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VP EXTERN AL

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Ihave been involved inthe How's it going Science? As majorityof events under the VPexternal, Iwill ensure that VPExternal portfolio, the interests of science under including coordinatorfor grads will be represented in Charity Fairand the Redand —■arn ,liBra”il SSMUand at McGill White Ball. Iknowhow University. Ibelieve that this portfolio works and am facilitating interaction confident that with myexperi between students and repre sentatives fromprofessional schools, research ence, all these events and our contributionto the and industry will secure the success of gradu community can be phenomenal next year. I'm friendly &open-minded, so come talkto me ates. about what Ican do foryou!

V P C O M M U N IC A T IO N S

V P F IN A N C E

L a g o d ic h

V P IN T E R N A L

As your prospective VP Internal and current VP Internal for the First Year Committee of Council (FYCC), Ihope to workaround notions like the increase of participation at events, flexibility amongst the aca demic faculties andfulfillment of the needs of science students. Ipromise to bring you a Carnival so good that all the Froshies will be praying to the porcelain god bythe end of the night, along with a Science Puband cafeteria to call our own. Withyour vote, and me as VP Internal, we together will take over the world and (you knowthe rest....)

Vote Nathaniel Winata for VP As an SUSfrosh-leader for Internal, yourfuture linkto two years running andthe the biggest and captain of an 'ICUKarnival' greatest events on campus! team, I've seen matters from Here's a caring and hardwork the vantage point of both an ing devoted Science organizer and a participant. major at your service. Get Frommy experience, a more ready for an amazing year effective formof communica and WHY-NOT-AH?VOTEWINATA! tion between the student body and exec is essential during both large-scale events and mid-semester to ensure maximal turnouts. More importantly, most students are not even aware of the SUS's mandate. This is something that needs to be clarified encourage more students to get involved. Did Imention come fall 1B21 will blowBlues Puboutta the water?

V P F IN A N C E J a s o n

| N a th a n ie l W

K u m a r

Himy name is Marina and I want to be your VPAcademic for next year. Iplanto improve and expand peer tutoring and lectures record ings as well as create a database of student research opportunities. Iwill also organize an amazing and informative Academia week. Ihave experience instudent government andwith SUS and IknowIwill make a great VP Academic and make next year a great school year for you!

V P IN T E R N A L

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V P A C A D E M IC

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Hello! I'mJason, your current VP-Finance, looking to contin ue again next year. Iamalso VP-Finance for the SSMU Aviation Club, so Ihave expe rience on many levels of organization. This year Ihave ensured that the SUS was financially responsible, and remainwell under budget, which means I'mdoing my job. I've also spent four months fighting (on your behalf) the bankfor $17,000 of students' money and won. Next year Iplanto get heavily involvedwith sponsorship and to improve the way we pay our departments which potentially means more money for you. Re-elect Jason Chanforfinance!

Ihave come to appreciate the financial rnanagement of SUS through my experiences as Frosh and Carnival Coordinator which allowed me to turna profit of $11,000. Ihave seen howyour funds have been handled and Ifeel that my experience as Co-VPFinance of Drivesafe will allowme to implement newideas to handle the SUSassets. Iwould liketo explore investment opportunities to facilitate the growth of ourfaculty, refurbishthe basement of Burnside and helpdepartments with specific financial needs. Allowme to make money for you. Your money. Yourchoice. Vote Sara VP Finance!

Hey, Science! Iknowyou want the truth, and no one else will admit it, so here it is: I'mrunning for VP Communications because it'll look incredible on my med school application. Come on, don't act all surprised. Honestly though, Itake everything Ido very seri ously, andthis jobwould be no exception. I feel that the main problemwith SUS js not the event organizing, it's that students aren't informed about what's going on. Myfavorite ' pastimes are sending emails, constructing giant posters, and making announcements inclass. Put my hobbies to good use. Vote Dan.

Hello Science! I'mLopa Das, yourcurrent VP Communications, and I'm running for re-election! I'ma U1 student inMicrobiology and Immunologyfromthe Alberta prairies, and Ilove McGill and Montreal. This year, Istarted upa monthly newsletter, Sustenance, sent out e-mails to keep everyone informed, put upposters, and made tons of class announcements which led us to have an awe some turnout forthe events organized bythe SUS. Iamconfident that my experience this year will enable me to further improve publicity and awareness of the Science Undergraduate Society in2004-2005...littlelopa thinks big, so vote!

This position requires a leader (aka me) who will make appropriate decisions on issues that affect you. I ensure you that Iwill be the bridge facilitating communication and coopera tion between the main gov erning body of McGill and Science. We are a very large faculty and need a strong representa tive. Iwill voice your interests and concerns. I want to increase awareness of the services SSMUand SUS provides so we can utilize what we're paying for. And since we're inscience... Q: What is the fastest wayto determine the sex of a chromosome? A: Pull down its genes.

S S M U R E P R E S E N T A T IV E

| Y a s m in e

L a u re n

H a d d a d

It's myfirst year at McGill and Iwould like to be your SUS representative at SSMU because Iwant tObe The voicEfor all you guYs and workfor our interest. I'm determined to mAke sure Science student's opinions and requests will be known. Iwould like you to feel More informed and Involved inthe importaNt dEcisions that will be taken. VOTE Yasmine HADDAD.

M c G ru th e rs

R im e

S a m a r El T a ra z i

S a lm i

Rime for Rep: HeyScience, vote LAUREN for SSMURep! Iwas VP 1- Because you wanna know External for the Student what's what's happening Union of John Abbott w hen it's happening College. Ihave loads of expe 2- Because you crave wellrience working onvarious transmitted information committees on behalf of the 3- Because you'd die to have students, including the Confederation of Anglophone CEGEPs. Iama your voice heard 4B ecause you're w orth it! teamplayer. Iamnot afraidto voice my opin ions. Iama great communicator and Iwill defend the rights of science students on SSMU! Vote Rime for Repand yourwildest dreams will come true*... *wildest dreams inthis context include having your voice heard and being well informed...What were youthinking???

F r e .e

S h e lle y

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Bonjour à tous! My name is Heythere Science Voters! My Samar, and Iama U2 physiol name is Shelley Vaisberg and ogy majorwith a minor in Iamrunning forthe Science French literature andtransla SSMUrepresentative. I tion. As an SSMUrepfor should have yourvote SUS, Iwill be sitting on the because Ihave experience SSMUcouncil and represent and Iwant to hearwhat you ing YOURinterests, andthat have to say. Iamcurrently of SUS, at the level of the Isitting on SSMU, as Science repand I'dlove to Students' Society. Iwill also make sure that Iget another yearto serve myfaculty. SSMU Science students get the max out of every Ideals with issues that affect of all of us. Your opportunity SSMU has to offer! Votez pour moi.. opinions are veryvaluable to me and Iwill make Voyez ladifference! sure your voices get heard so you can have a Isay onwhat affects you. Vote foryour voice, vote SHELLEY!

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a n d M e e t t h e C a n d id a t e s o n W e d n e s d a y , M a r c h 2 3 r d , 2 0 0 5 a t G e r t 's f r o m 1 1 a m - 2 p m

fe a tu r e

THE YEAR IN REVI EW

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Student's body found in dorm room

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Only one week into September, a first-year student was found dead in her dorm room. The body of Kathleen Currier, 18, was discovered at Douglas Hall. McGill hesitated to release an official statement about the passing of this American undergrad. Students in Upper Residence said that rumours spread as a result of the lack of information. A month later, the Quebec coroners office said the cause of death was probably a severe form of hepatitis that developed as a complication from mononucleosis.

Students' Society president resigns—again The first week of September was also marked by the resignation of Students' Society President Alam Alii—marking the second consecutive year a SSMU president has quit his seat early in his term. He stepped down after the university refused to extend his undergraduate degree, making him no longer eli gible to be the head the SSMU executive. Council voted against having a pres idential by-election. Andrew Bryan, vice-president (university affairs), then assumed the title of acting president, a procedure laid out in the SSMU consti tution.

Strike: cutting class in protest McGill undergraduates joined 188,000 Quebec CEGEP and university students in their protest of a $ 103-million cut to the government's student loans and bursaries program A one-day strike was staged at McGill on March 18 Students organized a rally and picket lines to encourage their classmates to cut class in protest As an added incentive to potential activists, emails were sent to all students promising food and entertainment at the various protest sites. An overwhelming majority of the 800 students who showed up at general assem bly days earlier voted in favour of striking. The university said that students who went on strike and consequently missed exams or assignments would not be accommodated An online plebiscite is underway, asking students whether they want to hold a second 24-hour strike this Thursday, March 24

arts

Having fun—and knowing why This year's St. Patrick's Day feature eschewed the ubiquitous bar-listing format. Assuming that most stu dents, if they were so inclined, could Google events boasting green beer and swanky shamrock decor, "When Irish eyes are smiling..." sought to break down the profound effects of St. Patty's. Debunking the myth that the sole purpose of March 17 is to sell "Kiss me, I'm Irish" tees and promote rowdy debauchery, the arti cle delyed into the history behind the holiday—who knew that the first St. Patrick's Day parade was held in New York City?

entertainment Ben Lemieux bashes the Beatles In the year's most controversial Hands Off the Canvas column, enter tainment writer Ben Lemieux ripped apart the Beatles' rise to fame in a way few modern writers are willing—and able—to do. Ben mocked the Beatles' early simplistic lyrics for feeding off the success of other pop bands in style at the time. Lemieux is no more impressed by the supposedly "revolution ized" style of the Beatles in the late 1960s, arguing that their new psyche delic motif was ripped off the refurbished rock spirit spearheaded by such other up-and-coming bands as Pink Floyd and The Doors. Lemieux conclud ed that the Beatles' success leached off the formulae of other avant garde artists, and presented little real ingenuity. His stance was ruffled a couple of feathers, but raised an interesting, albeit unpopular, question.

A college-dropout-turned-deejay confesses Do you ever sit in class and daydream about fame and fortune? For Alain Macklovitch, this kind of fantasy goes beyond the realm of daydreaming —it is day-to-day reality. After formallly retiring from the deejay scene at the age of 18, this now 22"year old grizzled veteran is known as DJ A-Trak, a.k.a. hip hop superstar Kanye West's right-hand man. Macklovitch, who, like West, is also an avid reader of The and an everyday fan of understands the plight of the mid-90s-oriented emcee West. Despite the inevitable nostalgia, A-Trak misses McGill, especially his favourite bunsen burner.

NewYorker

Seinfeld,

the mcgill tribune | 22.3.05 | feature ] 5

STUDENT SOUNDBYTES T h e y e a r 's e know you love the Tribune. We know you eat us for breakfast with your grande, non-fat, low-foam, double-shot vanilla chai latte. You have copies stashed in every room of your one-room apartment. You clutch us up tight against your bosom during slumber—we swear we're flattered and not creeped out. With such total and utter devotion, we don't mind that every now and again you may have missed an issue. Don't cry, babies, we

Trib

got yo' back. For your perusing pleasure, here's a whole spread chock full of blasts from the past. If you're a newbie to the world of student publica tions, you'll benefit from the saucy synopses that will bring you up to speed on all things McGill. So, sit back, chillax—your friendly Features edi tors have pretty much done all of the work for you—and read all about what's gone down on and around campus. You can send us a thankyou fruit basket later.

b e s t - a n d

e n te r ta in in g -s tu d e n t

m o st q u o t e s ...

"People forget that you're human."

—NaeemDatoo, formerSSMU Vice-President ICommunityandEventsIandlaterPresident, onthe disadvantages ofbeingacampuscelebrity

"I've ingested enough hot air sitting in on SSMU meetings that I think I've just sort of floated here."

—Daniel Stem, TVMcGill headliner, onrisingtothetopof hisgame

"Well, QBs and receivers are the best-looking guys, so we tend to stick together. I like to surround myself with beautiful people. But whenever receivers are not around, you'll find me with my offensive line."

—Matt Connell, RedmenQuarterback, onhavingaposse

"People like that, regardless of what they have achieved in other aspects of their life, should never deserve physical recognition for anything, regardless of whether it is a Metro station or a statue. illilili

— JeremyLevenstadt, U3Psychology, onthe celebrated, yet anti-Semitic, Lionel Groulx

"Montreal has a lot of construction going on that never seems to get finished, so they realty have to get that up and going. Actually, what they really need is a roller skating rink. And hot boys."

—SydneyDowney, U3Strategy, onwhatMontreal islacking

spo

"I prefer regular exams because being in the exam room with other students helps you to concentrate better and therefore do bet ter, instead of putting off a take-home exam." —Leiselle Pilgrim, U3 Physiology, on traditional exams "Take-home exams are more relevant to reahworld situations. You almost atways have access to reference material and are rarely under those kind of ridiculous time constraints."

Jean-Michel Daoust bolts from the Redmen McGill hockey's leading scorer Jean-Michel Daoust left his team halfway through the season to sign with a semi-pro team in Sherbrooke, of all places, in the Ligue Nora-Americaine de Hockey. He gave up thousands of dollars in bursaries for a few hundred dollars a week. Also, he left the team in early January; this was after accompanying the hockey team on a trip to France over winter break, despite knowing that the trip was designed to build team chemistry, and after already having told his teammates—but not the coach—that he was leaving. This also broke a promise he had made to the head coach when he was recruited—he had agreed to stay for at least one whole year. In response, Redmen hockey Head Coach Martin Raymond cried, "If he wants to go, then get the hell out of here. If he doesn't care about the team, then it's better that he leaves."

—DavePiccin, U3Biochemistry, ontake-homeexams

"I don't buy my friends anything, actually. I'm not a very good friend. I avoid that dilemma."

—TimYung, UI Economics, onholidaygift-giving

"Yeah, they're fabubus... especially if they motivate fat people to get skinny.”

Martlets, Redmen soccer teams both take silver at nationals

Montreal hosted the men's and women's national soc cer championships this year, with McGill hosting the mens and Université de Montreal the women's. The McGill men were mediocre during the season and only got in because they had an automatic spot reserved for them as hosts, while the women had to win the Quebec conference and did. The men were the worst or second-worst team in the McGill pulls games bid McGill and four other Montreal universities were tournament field of six, but surprised everyone by making going to bid to host the 201 1 World University Games, it to the gold medal game, where they lost, but were still the second-largest sporting event in the world after the ecstatic about their silver medal. The women, on the other Olympics. In December, however, the city decided to pull hand, were expected to get to the gold medal game, and its money—and hence its support—from tne project, claim did get there, but were then up 2-0 before allowing Trinity ing it was overextended from having to pay for the FINA Western—a Catholic university from BC—to tie the score. world acquatics championships to be held here in July The game was decided by a penalty kick shootout, which 2005. As a result, McGill lost out on $2- to $3-million McGill lost to come in second place.* worth of infrastructure that would have been provided at no cost. Needless to say, Athletic Director Robert Dubeau was upset.

—RichMadras, U3Marketing, onthe wondersofNewYear'sresolutions

"{Confident girls are] definitely more attractive. As long as they don't hit, or throw things." —

Anonymous, ongirlsdoingtheasking-out

"There’s nothing new in the over-played dance dubs—it’s the same sexy girls you can’t get with, the same guys standing on the side waiting for a miracle, the same cokehead club managers try ing to impress the clientele." —Ben//

FeldmanontheAAontrealdubscene

"Who could have guessed you could have so much fun with atoms?"

—DeanofScienceAlanShaverona talkbyNobel Prizewinningphysicist ClaudeCohen-Tannoudji

“There are so many fixable appearance flaws that the majority of the population overlooks. Unibrows, obvious lip liner, and pit stains are all gross. Does bad breath count?”

— JenFiorella, UIChemistry, onherbiggest petpeeves withpeople's looks

“I don’ think that there could ever be too much political demonstra tion at a university. I find it significantly saddening that. . McGill does not have any kind of political fire.”

—StanKupferschmidt, U3Social Work

"In some ways, Americans deserve [the negative attitudes towards them]... It’s kind of embarassing being American." —

Richard, U3Political Science

“I love slickin’ it to the man. I listen to loud music while throwing my middle finger in the air. I steal candy bars from Wal-Mart and drink free trade coffee. I’ve hated every politican since Bubba and I don’t trust anyone in the media. I’m a firm believe in conspiracy theories and every year I threaten not to pay my taxes"

—CompiledbyLizAllemang, DannyChodos, AndrewSegal, LiseTreutler, andLisaVarano

—Columnist ElishaSiegel onhisbadass ways —compiledbyLizAllemangandPantheaLee

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LISE TREUTLER

T oday's music has become more than a creative end. For many artists, their work often becomes a vehicle for broader mes sages, be they political, charitable, or just about anything else. We've seen this trend grow especially through benefit tours and themed albums. On March 30, McGill students will demonstrate their devotion to charitable causes with a benefit concert for War Child Canada, entitled "Keep the Beat." This project has been in the making since last semester, when the Inter-Greek Letter Council resolved to host the largest charitable event in the Greek communi ty's history. "We have the ability to pool our resources—our enthusi asm, different talents, different connections, and love of philanthropy—together to create something that really makes an impact," says Jessica Jekkel, IGLC president and member of Kappa Alpha Theta. Since January, she, along with the whole Greek community, has been working hard to organize Keep the Beat, a night of music and awareness featuring artists In This Life, Kwek Movement, and Typecast, as well as Andrew Greene, who will speak about his War Child Canada experiences in Sierra Leone. In contrast to much of what we hear about elitist attitudes in the music business—namely rumours that artists participate in such shows simply for exposure and image—all members of headliner In This Life have taken major roles in the planning process. "In This Life was chosen because of their vision, exactly in like with our concept and War Child Canada's mission to create awareness for human rights and motivate others by using music as a vehicle," says Jekkel. The band, well known for its relentless sup port of Amnesty International, agrees. "We're pretty picky when we play a benefit, because for us it's not a regular gig. We like to help the promoters; our involvement

is much deeper," explains rhythm guitarist Jeff Beaulieu. "We've never played for a charity benefit if we weren't to be involved," adds lead vocalist Alex Foster. Five years of touring across Canada and three independent releases prove the members of In This Life to be determined, hard working artists, and, in regards to their music and their philanthrop ic devotions, reminiscent of Bono's campaign to end world debt. But though they're quick to acknowledge U2's admirable work, their philosophy on music's influential power addresses both ends of the

HANDS

OFF

THE

spectrum. "Music can challenge the status quo and lead an amaz ing, introspective revolution;" says Foster. "Bands like U2 are using their musical gifts to promote human rights, and neo-Nazi groups are using music to attract young people—it's the same tool. We all choose where we stand, but music pushes you to reevaluate why you're standing there." With all the admirable and important causes existing and in , need of support, why War Child Canada? For Jekkel and the rest of the Greek community, all regularly involved in charity work and fundraising, motivation lay in the search for philanthropy with a wider scope. "We have concentrated on a lot of local initiatives, such as Centraide, Dans la rue, and Sun Youth," she says. "The idea came to be because it has the power to attract many groups at McGill and around Montreal. Why not try to make an impact on the global community?" Meanwhile, the members of In This Life were attracted because of their personal connection with social causes. Foster explains: "Stephen [Laroelin, on guitar] and Iare former social work ers. We first played music based on our desire to have an impact on our environment. What's the meaning of walking in the streets and screaming? [Through music], people come to be entertained and see their money support the cause—it's a win-win situation." All involved—the IGLC executive and In This Life—have high

hopes for Keep the Beat. The three bands (alternative, funk, and hip hop) will appeal to a diverse crowd, and Greene's information will make it hard for attendees not to be touched by the global reso

nance of War Child. Says Jekkel, "The effect of the people coming together, moti vated to learn about or end injustice, and the satisfaction of seeing action being taken is enough to make anyone take on a greater role in promoting peace and awareness. I'mglad I found a way to help a worthy cause by using music as the vehicle." For Foster, being asked to play and be involved "was a real privilege." Diving into his emotions, he vividly articulates his posi tion: "For me, one child holding an AK-47 on his father's political behalf is enough to stand in front of a microphone and try to have an impact. Sorry, Jagger—but it's not only rock and roll.” ■

KeeptheBeatwilltaketheCaféCampusstageonMarch30 at 8pm. Tickets are $10, available at Café Campus, through Admission.com, orbycalling790-1245. Formoreinformationon War Child Canada or In This Life, visit www.warchild.ca or

www.inthislife.ca.

CANVAS

T h e d e g r a d a tio n

o f th e

T im e s

b e g in s w ith

M a ry -K a te LIZ ALLEMANG

T here are few media outlets that can boast a history of

NewYorkTimes. Times

unbiased reporting quite like the Having been raised in a household where the Sunday was a fixture—its presence guaranteed amidst bags from the local patisserie and jars of raspberry jam—I have long considered the paper to provide reliable commentaries on world events and stories of national interest. In recent months, though, a trend has emerged among the mainstream media. Suddenly, the whose slogan is "All the news that's fit to print," has become determined to connect with a younger readership. They are attempting to sell their soul in the name of being cool and attracting differ ent kinds of advertisers. The level to which the is willing to lower its standards, and neglect altogether its principles, is not only despicable, but offensive to readers who seek relevant information. My former journalistic holy grail, which was once a source of idolatry to all likeminded writers, is reducing itself to senseless tabloid fodder. Case in point, "Mary-Kate, Fashion Star" (Sunday Styles, March 6, 2005), which detailed at length why the brunette Olsen, and New York University freshman, is setting trends on campus by subscribing to her own brand of "dumpster chic" dressing. Any reasonable reader who has

Times,

Times

seen pictures of the emaciated child actor cum collegial allstar knows that she is hardly someone to emulate—unless the goal is to look like a coked out hobo troll with eating issues. Ruth La Ferla, author of the article, explains that Mary-Kate's descent into fashion extremism was perpetuated due to con stant paparazzi snooping on behalf of glossy entertainment mags. Her rebellion of dressing in unbranded layers is allegedly the new hip. "She makes skinny girls in baggy clothes look cool," says Karen Berenson, a stylist quoted by La Ferla. But aren't we forgetting something? The fact that the new face of homeless chic was treated for anorexia last spring and has allegedly relapsed. That women with a skewed body image, whose existence is based upon self-hatred and denial, dress in baggy clothes to conceal their slight frames, preserve body heat, and mask the source of their shame. That an influential institution such as the should know better than to promote such a truly disturbed individual as role model and icon for young female coeds, who rep resent the majority of eating disorder statistics in both the US and Canada. Setting aside the fact that this move to sell papers and connect to youth is completely misreading the truth of the mat

NewYorkTimes

ter and is alienating their regular and target readerships, it is difficult to overlook precisely how low the is willing to stoop to impress people like me, who consider the appear ance of such drivel out of place and chronically uncool. For all of their faults, the tabloid press covers celebrity gossip more accurately and timely— has been recording the fashion faux-pas of the actress since orientation week. The fact that they are getting it right whilst the denies is truly frightening. Janice Min, of fame, and Bonnie Fuller, the edifrix responsible for recent face lift, may be oddly obsessed with Olsen's personal problems, but they continuously say that she is clearly unhealthy. A cover story, in one of the tabs currently on news stands, questions why Hollywood stars go too far to accom plish the skin and bones look. Experts interviewed for the arti cle agree that many stars are physically and mentally self destructive under the pressures to remain svelte. Compare that attitude with the which declares the Olsen twins as trendsetters. Kind of makes you think that you're in the Bizarro World, where up is down and down is up. The is certainly on an uphili slide. ■

Times

InTouchWeekly

Times USWeekly StarMagazine's

Times,

Times

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u s ic

PREVIEWS THEATRE. Godspell—Casgrain Theatre—21-275 ch Lakeshore—March 24 to 26, March to April 2, 8pm

T h e s to ry b e h in d th e

O r g a n 's d is s e c t io n o f e m o t io n

One of the biggest Broadway and off-Broadway successes of all-time, comes to the Casgrain Theatre this week. Featuring some of the more memorable (and, some might say, obnoxious) songs in theatre history, is a cheesy but well-orchestrat ed musical that preaches love and respect for one's fellow man, employing such crowd-pleasing devices as clown ing, pantomime, vaudeville, and various kinds of bodily contortions. Though it is playing in the far off Ste.-Anne de Bellevue, this one of a kind rock opera is worth the trek. Call the Casgrain Theatre at 457-6610 for tickets and show details.

Godspell

MUSIC. Toots and the Maytals, with guests—Club Soda—1225 boul. StLaurent—March 23, 9pm Listen up people: reggae does not begin and end with the late, great Bob Marley. Catch reggae legends and ska pioneers Toots and the Maytals, as they "blaze" their way into Club Soda tomor row night. Toots and crew have been delighting audiences since the early 1960s with their soul-soothing blend of gospel and irresistible rhythms. The only thing harder than standing still at a Toots show is refraining fromjah Herb.

band, bringing like-minded people together. After her previ ous band, the instrumental trio Full Sketch, broke up, Sketch began looking for members to make up a band with a sim hat I really hate is being asked what it's like to be ilar sound, only with added vocals. The transition was not W in an all-female band. I mean, what am Isupposed as easy as she'd hoped. to say to that?" "ft's not that hard to find musicians, it's just hard to find Every interview with Katie Sketch and her band, The musicians who are interested in what we want to do," she Organ, has three things in common: references to Joy Division, The Cure, and especially The Smiths; some morbid says. So, after convincing organist Jenny Smyth to join, they phrase about the depressing nature of the lyrics; and, of began ignoring musical expertise and just recruiting people course, the implication that being in a band devoid of testos who shared the same vision. Neither bassist Ashley Webber terone is somehow akin to living on the moons of Jupiter. nor drummer Shelby Stocks had ever played their instruments It is the repetitiveness of the questions that's annoying, before joining the band. Thanks to everyones hard work, more than anything else. As Sketch points out, however, though, you'd never know; as Sketch puts it, "I showed them every article needs some background, so here it is. a few things, but I'd say they're basically self-taught." The Organ is a five-piece band from Vancouver, led by Along with Smyth, Sketch represents the technical core charismatic vocalist Katie Sketch, who does indeed sound of the group. Having studied violin between the ages of somewhat like Morrissey. On their first full-length album, three and 16, her classical training shines through nicely in they channel post-punk, mixing in a crystal- her songs, which are composed mainly by Sketch and toned guitar with the omnipresent sigh of their namesake Smyth. Onstage, the band plays with a studious detachment organ into spectacular, heart-wrenchingly catchy tunes. and Sketch swigs beer and twirls, looking lost in thought. In contrast to the rich desolation of her singing voice, As for new songs, Sketch says they're trying to get Sketch is cheerfully friendly in an interview. By night, she is some ideas out, but the pressure of their current tour cuts Ian Curtis reborn, minus the spastic dancing. But by day, she back on creativity time. After all, despite growing critical is a psychology major at Simon Fraser University, although acclaim, The Organ still gets nervous on tour. ■ she is currently taking time off to get through the complicat ed dealings of being in a band. One of the likely reasons for The Organ's distinctive and consistent sound is that Sketch virtually constructed the MELISSA PRICE

MUSIC. Amon Tobin—Corono Theatre—2490 rue Notre Dame O.— March 25 & 26 NinjaTune's Amon Tobin makes a rare solo appearance at the Theatre Corona this Friday and Saturday night. Expect nothing less than insanity, as his dark, hypnotic drum and bass-fused beats dance circles around your brain. Tobin's signature barrage of mind-numb ing noise should reach new heights thanks to the promise of a 360degree surround sound experience. If you're tick et isn't already burning a hole in your pocket, odds are your going to be left out in the cold for this one; so scalpers may be the way to go.

GrabThatGun,

TheOrganplaywithStars, WoodenStars, andMontag atCabaret (2111 boul. St-Laurent)onApril ISand 16.

MUSIC. Montreal's White Party Week (Bal en Blanc)—Aria Nightclub— March 24 to 28 In its 11 th edition, this all-night, all day electronic dance fiesta will be the highlight of Easter weekend for aficiona dos of the local after-hours scene. On Easter Sunday, the Bal en Blanc parly truly takes off, as the internationally renowned DJ Tiesto kicks off a series of four talented deejays to rock the trance room until Easter eggs come out of your ears. Meanwhile, David Morales, a Stereo veteran and former New Yorkbased Def Mix turntablist, heads up over 10 hours of live house music. For more information about the entire event, visit

elevision

W h o 's y o u r A m e r i c a n

d a d d y

www.balenblanc.com. FILM. D ownfall— Cinéma du Parc-

3575 rue du Parc—runs until March 31 A film about the Holocaust with a happy ending? Sort of. is tout ed as a standout cinematic achievement for its brutal and honest portrayal of Adolph Hitler throughout the final days of the Nazi war machine. Bruno Ganz plays Hitler and Alexandria Maria Lara plays his secretary Traudl Junge, who leaves us with this haunting story, as Hitlers final stenographer. Both actors portray their characters with finesse and unparalleled skill. While more and more L countries become immersed in war in the -u» present day, it is worth taking a look back at the decapitation of an oppres sive regime as a lesson for the future.

Downfall

............................... JENNIFER JETT .............................

American Dad— the political cartoon debuted in a coveted postSuper Bowl time slot. And indeed, as should be expected from F amilyGuycreator Seth MacFarlane, the F ox clearly has high hopes for its new series

show is a smart satire of an American family living in the post-9/1 1 culture of fear." Trigger-happy CIA bureaucrat Stan Smith is the family patriarch, whose paranoia is indulged Joy his wife Francine. Like many misguided parents, Stan and Francine do everything in their power—the law be damned to aid their awkward adolescent son Steve. As a left-leaning com

munity college student, daughter Hayley is the black sheep, although she is closely seconded by Roger, the ALF-like alien Stan brought home from Area 51. A goldfish named Klaus—really a German Olympic skier whose mind was swapped by Cold War-era CIA agents eager to head off an East German victory—rounds out the high-strung clan. Stan lives in a world where al-Qaeda lurks in every corner (and toaster). Alarmed by a crash downstairs, an armed Stan crouches behind his bedroom door and calls out, "Osama? Is that you?" But it's unclear how much mileage the material will provide—jokes about the colourcoded terror alert system were stale two years ago. The series begins its official run May 1. ■

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DANIEL CHODOS C a n a d ia n

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s e lf-r e fle c tio n alling on all political science and Canadian history majors: the Saidye Bronfman Centre for the Arts is calling your col lective names. Greed and corruption in political circles is nothing new, and it is high time that everyone—not just those in academia—familiarize them selves with the real inner workings of backroom politics. Enter Guy Sprung. The acclaimed director of a multitude of plays featured in Ottawa, Montreal, and Toronto, in addition to numerous other locations all over the globe, is bringing his critical stance back to the Montreal stage. Beginning this week, catch Sprung's latest foray into the politico-theatre scene, being performed at the Saidye Bronfman Centre for the Arts. It explores the dark bedrock buried deep beneath the murky topsoil of Quebec politics throughout the Trudeau and Mulroney federal reigns. A graduate of Canada's National Theatre School, Sprung's plays always channel the raw emo tions associated with life. In 1999, he took a stab at Samuel Beckett's existential play directing the production in a deserted foundry in Old Montreal. For 1 1 years, Sprung directed a Russian version of William Shakespeare's at Moscow's Pushkin

GRACIA JALEA

I n November, a friend invited me to see this reggae group that she had been raving about for months. Deciding to brave the Montreal winter, I walked up boulevard StLaurent to Divan Orange to see whether my friend's acclaim was warranted. As soon as I entered the venue, I knew I was about to experience something special. I was immediately struck by the intense energy and excitement that filled the room, and was quickly drawn into the music. Despite my unfamiliarity with reggae, save the one Bob Marley CD I owned, I was overwhelmed by this welcoming feeling of warmth, peace, and serenity. Taking my cue from the musicians and the assembled crowd, I was swept into a meditative state, and was propelled into a journey of self discovery. Most of Inwords musicians, having been raised in Canada, offer a unique flavour to the musical genre they have adopted. Their music is informed by a concern for the state of spiritual poverty that has infected our society. Through a distinctive blend of conscious reggae and dub, Inword has been able to musically convey its message of self-realization, allowing one to find inspiration and power within themselves. Their music truly initiates a re-discovery of the spiritual forces that reside within, and unite all of human ity, by eliminating the boundaries that blind us from this force. Inword offers great intensity in their music, one that encourages inner strength and personal awakening. Both the audience and the performers themselves are overcome by this transformative energy, which delivers the soul into a transcendent realm. The music thus produced, coupled with this collective spiritual thirst, allows one to uncover one's potential to be limitless and free. ■

DeathandTaxes,

GRACIA JALEA

Theater. In this latest piece, the veteran playwright analyzes Canada's mod ern history of sordid corruption and scandals at the highest level of government. From Mulroney's Airbus scandal—in which he eventually won $300,000 of taxpayers' money after suing the federal government—to the recent Chrétien sponsorship scandal, is not afraid to tack le all areas of power in this country. Written from the perspective of a con flicted Montreal tax lawyer, this play examines the conflict between desire and conscience, using a unique mixed-media "docu-drama" style that is sure to enlighten and entertain. ■

DeathandTaxes

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the mcgill tribune | 22.3.05 | a&e 19

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R E V I E W CD. T rueifDestroyed, True ifNot Destroyedby Burn Rome

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ELISHA SIEGEL

I sraeli hip hop superstars Subliminal and The Shadow blew the roof off Metropolis last Saturday night. The tan dem, accompanied by Ami "DJ HeHe" Shoftat as well as other members of their label, TACT Records, gave a high energy performance that delighted the audience. The group played all of their hits and took some time to sing the praises" of Israel, even pausing to drop a little bit of the Israeli national anthem on our heads. The Metropolis per formance was part of a larger world tour that includes appearances in the US and Europe. As hip hop continues to evolve as a global phenom enon, Subliminal is receiving ever more props as a pio neer in the Israeli hip hop scene. The leader and visionary behind TACT Records, Subliminal has cultivated a distinct ly Israeli style of rap music that blends Middle Eastern sounds with hip hop bass lines. The lyrical content ranges from hype party anthems to politically-charged right-wing commentary on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Subliminal and his partner, The Shadow, became household names in Israel after their 2002 release, went platinum. The group was widely criticized for their strong political views, but they have also been applauded for their efforts to promote Zionism and pride among young Jews. They have recent ly released collaborative effort by the TACT Family, the eight-member super-group associated with the label. The crowd at Metropolis consisted of mostly Jewish and Israeli youth, many of whom were decked out in assorted bling adorned with stars of David. They waited in anticipation for the curtain to fall on the show. Before long, DJ HeHe stepped up to the ones and twos, which were draped in an Israeli flag, and dropped the beat. As soon as Subliminal and The Shadow appeared onstage, the crowd went into an uproar and did not stop until the final song. Among the performers was Montreal native SHI 360. SHI, which stands for Supreme Hebrew Intellect, is also a pioneer rapper and deejay in Israel. His mix tapes feature Israeli rappers like Subliminal and the The Shadow, as

The

Light and the Shadow,

in a Dream Any musician in the pop/rock spectrum would probably agree that tightly wound, consistently enthralling instrumental music is one of the most challenging things for a band to produce. Burn Rome in a Dream, with their debut album takes a hack at the challenge with an eighttrack instrumental rock album featuring arpeggiated acoustic guitar riffs, minimalist arrange ments, and a smooth jazz-pop aesthetic. Points for trying, but, for the most part, they fail. Many of the post-rock out fits that are lauded for their powerful instrumental efforts have earned success thanks to one thing and one thing only: they have soul. Their music is visceral and emotionally mean ingful; it feels true. BRIAD's album, certain stronger moments notwithstanding, feels too technical. Much of the writ ing, most notably the lullaby-ish tones and constantly shifting time signature of "Kelowna," is beautiful and brilliant, but ulti mately lacklustre. A fair propor tion of the songs lack direction, upbeat enthusiasm, and that soaring, driving, "feelin'-it" rush you get every time you hear Mogwai laying into "You Don't Know Jesus," Godspeed You! Black Emperor's immortal opus “Moya." A nice looking cut of meat, cooked a little raw, it is. It will be interesting to see where Burn Rome in a Dream goes from here. Bonus points for having one of the most unassuming and lovely jewel cases you will ever lay your eyes on. —Ben

All Stars, a

ROLLINGSTONE.COM

well as underground prodigies such as Montreal's Bless and New York's Sneakas. SHI was greeted by huge applause, and he took the opportunity to bring his broth er Leroy—who is also a rapper—onstage for one song. Subliminal and The Shadow finished their show with an encore performance of their new single, "Peace in the Middle East," as fans threw up peace signs, giving us hope that the new generation has its priorities straight. ■

Lemieux

a & e A&E still exists next year! Current or future writers inter ested in learning more about A&E should em ail Lise or Danny, or better yet, stop by the office. And a hearty thank you to all this year's writers for your a w e som e contributions.

,o o i lo o p y MOYSE HALL TH EAT RÎ: ARTS BUILDING. McGILL CJNfV SHERBROOKE ST. WEST

QUICK SURVEY: W hat would you like to see more of in next year's paper:

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a) theatre reviews b) band profiles c) art & d ance d) nudity e) something else

PROF I L E -

I N D O O R SOCCER

A ll-C an ad ian d e fe n d e r leads wild ghost chase F ra s e r h o p e s

MOHIT ARORA The women's soccer team had what most teams in Canada would consider an excellent season this past fall. The Red 'n' White romped through the Quebec Student Sport Federation season, then co-hosted the Canadian Interuniversity Sport championship, where the Martlets found themselves in the gold medal game, and up 2-0 at halftime. But that was where the wheels fell off for the women, as they let that lead slip away, yielding the tying goal in injury time and eventually losing in a shootout to Trinity Western University. The road to recovery from that heartbreaking loss has seen the Martlets excel in the 2005 indoor soc cer season, including a win at the McGill Adidas Pro-Sport Indoor Soccer Classic, held earlier this month at Tomlinson Fieldhouse. The MVP of that tournament, Shari Fraser, is a two-time All-Canadian and a key component in 2005 to McGill exorcising the demons of last fall's gold medal loss. Fraser, as steady a defender as there is in.. CIS soccer, explains the importance of doing well in the indoor soccer season. "It's always good to win these games against teams we're going to be facing outdoors," the sec ond-year Civil Engineering student says. "It sends a message that we're strong indoors, and we're going to be strong outdoors too." Consider the indoor season as a more competitive version of Major League Baseball's spring training. While teams are certainly playing to win, much of the focus of the schedule is on players gaining experience and getting a taste of what they can expect in the coming fall.

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"It's not as serious as the outdoor season, in that we don't practice five times a week like in the fall," explains Fraser. "But when we play outdoors, not everybody gets to see the field, but in these tournaments everyone gets to play and work on their skills." For the Martlets, this year's indoor season is about grooming a team that can finish what they started last fall, when they came up two minutes short of wearing gold medals around their necks. "It's obviously hard to get over the past," Fraser says. "We try not to think about it, but it's always going to be there... we have to look forward; otherwise we're not going to get back [to the gold medal game]. If we always look back and say what if, we're not focusing on what could be." Indeed, the 2004 Martlets were a team built to get over the hump that had seen McGill win four silver medals in past CIS tournaments. Armed With talent at every position, and with CIS player of the year Danielle Day lead ing a strong offensive attack, the Martlets seemed primed to win their first national championship. "The sad thing was that we have two players

she adds. "Danielle is one of the great est players I've ever played with. And Alanna just knows the game. She knows where to be, and she works really hard. You can't replace that kind of leadership." The truth of the matter, however, is that Fraser, as captain, will be counted on to be that leader next year. She knows that will be her personal chal lenge come fall. "It's going to take some adjustment," she says. "I don't like being singled out. I take on the responsibility, but Idon't need anybody saying 'she's a leader.' I just set an example and play as hard as I can." But Martlets Head Coach Marc Mounicot thinks Fraser underestimates her own abilities. "Shari imposed her self as the best defender in the QSSF, and she's more confident now. She's very respected by all the players and coaches, at McGill and from other teams." And Fraser has the benefit of lead ing a talented crop of returning players in the fall, including six players who scored at least five goals this past sea son and a defensive backfield that remains intact. The defender remains confident McGill has one of the best squads in the I don't like being singled out. I take on province. And though Fraser says the responsibility, but I don't need any all the right things about body saying "she's a leader." focusing on the 2005 out — Shari Fraser door season, she admits that the pain of last fall's loss remains. "We still think about graduating that won't get another it," she says. "I know I'm not over it yet. chance for a gold medal," Fraser says Maybe the only way to get over it is to in reference to Day and Alanna win the gold medal next year." Maloney, another standout on the The upcoming soccer season will Martlets squad. According to Fraser, it be an effort in finishing what Fraser is going to be a challenge to move on and the Martlets started this year, and without those two leading the way. perhaps acting as Ghostbusters along "You can't replace players like that," the way. ■

TREVOR CRAIG

Fraser, named captain of the 2005 Martlets, is a two-time All-Canadian.

Z O N E

W h a t m o re

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M c G ill d o ? ANDREW SEGAL

quick glance at Redmen hockey attendance figures from 2005 reveals an interesting trend. Obviously, the annual rivalry games against Queen's and Concordia drew big crowds, as they always do. But after hosting early season games that drew as few as 312 people to McConnell Arena, a late January tilt against Ottawa that took place after the Redmen began a seven-game winning streak drew a solid crowd of upwards of 600. And by the time the regular season's final contest jolled around, close to 1,000 fans packed the building. Once the playoffs got started, the numbers continued to swell, culminating in a McGill record crowd of 1,544 attending the Redmen's final post-season game two Sundays ago. It is clear that fans flocked to McConnell more frequently as the season went on, and at a higher rate than during the 2003-04 campaign. But while members of the athletic depart ment will want to parlay this momentum into increased interest in the Martlets and Redmen next year, they shouldn't waste their time trying. The difference between the pre-winter break Redmen and the team that materialized after it, as well as the distinction between last year's team and this one is simple: win ning. And it's shameful that success dictates attendance. McGill students have a tendency to blame the administra tion for anything that they're unhappy with, and the athletic

department takes its fair share of criticism, some of it deserved. But the disparity between last year's crowds and recent ones can't be accounted for by claiming the department had poor advertising last season or a particularly brilliant campaign this year, as athletics didn't significantly change its ads or promo tions from between then and now. Instead, only students—while rightly being credited for supporting their hockey Redmen—can be faulted in this instance for not backing their other teams, both this year and in the past. This practice has to stop. Anyone who has surveyed Montreal's sports scene will be far from shocked by the assertion that citizens of our fair city are fair-weather fans, so it's no surprise that McGill students act sim ilarly when it comes to their teams. Many students point to the diverse entertainment that Montreal has to offer as a reason they don't go to games; others claim it's the lack of school spir it and of any tangible connection with the university that causes McGillians to eschew sports. But back in 2002, over 6,000 fans took in the football Redmen's national semi-final game on a freezing November day. Compare that with this season, when only 1,800 watched the mediocre Redmen battle Bishop's, and just a thousand more showed up to see McGill host Montréal—the nation's top team—in the season's final game. Combined with the example from this year's mean hockey squad, it has become obvious that

a winning or losing record determines the crowds for McGill's high profile sports teams. In addition to showing a complete lack of school pride and laying waste to the quaint notion that amateur athletics are more about participation and personal improvement than results, these actions are self-defeating if we actually want to see winning sports teams at McGill. When top recruits are try ing to decide where to spend the next four or more years of their lives, the idea of playing for nearly 20,000 at Laval has to be more appealing than performing in front of nearly 20,000 empty seats at Molson Stadium. Likewise, basketball stars must be discouraged to be able to hear every heckle echo off the rafters as they run up and down the court in the sparse ly peopled Love Competition Hall. With that in mind, it is clear that there is nothing McGill, its athletic department, or the Students' Society—even with a new athletics-friendly president—can do to improve the state of sports at McGill. The answer is not more giveaways, or better advance advertising, or cheaper ticket prices, or more press coverage. This season, students have shown once and for all that the reason events are poorly attended is because they don't care for a team unless it's a winner. It's time for students to stop passing the buck and take responsibility for their dis honourable actions. ■

the mcgill tribune | 22.3.05 | sports 21 M A R K I N G TH EIR T E R R IT O R Y Redmen Basketball

......................... , The men's basketball team suffered through a less-than-spectacular—it not unex pected-season, finishing at 2-14 in conference play, a drop from last year's 4-1 2 mark. Whereas in 2003-04 the Redmen managed to sneak into the playoffs ahead of expansion UQÀM, this year they finished one game behind Bishop's and missed out on the post-season. , This was definitely a rebuilding year for the Redmen, their first under Head Coach Craig Norman. With a fresh bench boss and a bevy of new players, it was unknown how the squad would perform. While there were moments of greatness that bode well for the future, the team had too many lapses and weaknesses—especial ly in the second half of games—to pose a serious challenge. As usual, veteran stars Denburk Reid and Derek Armstrong put up impressive numbers this year, with Reid setting the all-time McGill scoring record and both players earning Quebec all-star nods. Unfortunately for McGill, they, along with breakout star and rebounding machine Greg Rembeyo, will be departing, leaving Elliot Siemiatycki and Daniel Martin as the only veterans to have received any real playing time. With all the youth that needs to fill in for departing veterans, next year may be even worse record^ise tor McUJI. Though it appears that guard J.P. Begly and forward Sean Anthony will step up to begin a new era in earnest tor the Redmen. MVP: Rembeyo Player to watch for next year: Begly Grade: £

—ThomasPagliarulo

Martlets Basketball

Although a 3-1 3 Quebec conference record wouldn't seem to indicate a team that overachieved, the Martlets managed to exceed expectations this year by sneak ing into the playoffs as the conference's fourth seed. McGill won two impressive lateseason games over Concordia and UQAM to make the post-season, but were blown out by Laval in its single-elimination playoff game. Head Coach Ryan Thorne is not employed by the Martlets full-time, which hurt recruiting, but he did manage to fire up his troops as the season hung in the balance. On the court, Marie-Ève Beaulieu-Demers stepped up as the year wound down, lead ing the team in scoring average while also grabbing over four rebounds per game^ The Martlets will miss the production of standout forward Alisen Salusbury and reliable guard Kelly-Rae Kenyon next season, but Amanda Costa will return to lead the squad. Also pay close attention to Quebec rookie of the year, 6'4" centre Julianne Noseworthy, who fed the league in blocked shots, setting a McGill record with 26 rejections. . Despite being hampered by their coaching situation, poor shot selection, and a number of injuries, the Martlets remain a feisty team with a solid core. With some strong recruits coming in next year, they will look to make gains on Quebec's strongest teams. MVP: Beaulieu-Demers Player to watch for next year: Noseworthy Grade.

— ElishaSiegel

Redmen Hockey

The Red 'n' White made it to within one game of the national championship before having their dreams dashed. The season was still a success, however, as McGill finished on top of the standings for the first time in 59 years. The Redmen went 9-2 in the second half of the season, led by rookie goaltender Mathieu Poitras, who had the lowest goals against average in the nation at 1.99, and was named league MVP. The team's seven-game win streak fromJanuary 22 till February 19 propelled it to the top spot, not to mention home-ice advantage in the playoffs against their nemeses from UQTR. But the Redmen dropped a hard-fought best-of-three series 2-1, stopping a dynamic season in its tracks. ^ McGill might be hard-pressed to repeat its success next year, as it could lose eight graduating players. Captain Daniel Jacob and fellow blueliner Chad Blundy, have definitely donned the M for the last time. Others, like winger Greg LeBlanc, could follow in their wake. % That said, the Redmen should at least be able to compete for the division crown in 2005-06. They have a strong core of young and veteran players returning, including standout rookies Teddy Kyres and Eric L'Italien, along with leading scorer Doug Orr and Poitras. MVP: Poitras Player to watch for next year: Mathieu Leclerc Grade.

Track & Field

McGill's track team had an uninspir ing season, as it was unable to pull off any major team successes. Despite sending 22 promising competitors to the nationals in Winnipeg earlier this month, the men placed 14th out of 17 teams while the women placed last out of 17, failing to score even a single point. The women's performance was espe cially shocking, since they had such a strong showing at the Quebec champi onships in. February. Led by Genevieve Jenkins, who nabbed three gold and a sil ver, the female squad emerged with 17 medals to win the overall provincial title. For the men, high jumper Dan St. Michael and shot putter Rob Salvatore also performed consistently throughout the season, but also failed to come home with any hardware. Competing in the weaker Quebec league may help McGill send a greater number of athletes to nationals, but it puts the team at a disadvantage against more seasoned competition. Much to the frustration of Coach Dennis Barrett, McGill's results paled in comparison against athletes from Ontario schools, and McGill simply couldn't keep up with national powerhouses Saskatchewan and Manitoba. But with many young athletes still improving, McGill could be a force to be reckoned with in the future. One such is Aaron White, who was selected for the Canadian Junior Championships last summer, and finished with a solid perform ance this season, while another notable athlete is freshman hurdler Andrea White. MVP: Jenkins Athlete to watch for next year: Aaron White Grade:

— ZenahSurani

Martlets Hockey

The Martlets finished with only a 2118-3 overall record—their worst since 2000-01—the result of taking on some tough non-conference competition. But all that build-up wasn't enough to help McGill overcome two teams from Canada West in the national championship. After losing 2-1 to Concordia in the best-of-three Quebec final, the Martlets headed into nationals as hosts, but could n't get by Alberta in a battle for a spot in the gold medal game. They lost the next day to Manitoba to take fourth place. The dominant line for the team consist ed of Valérie Paquette, Véronique Lapierre, and Katherine Safka, the latter two of whom were named to the Quebec all-star team along with stay-at-home rear guard Peggy Donohue. Lapierre and Donohue have both played their final games for the Martlets, though, and Safka is likely gone as well, leaving the cur rent members of the second line, Shauna Denis, Kristin Leuszler, and Christine Hartnoll, to pick up the slack next season. Meanwhile, the team's goaltending situation is also unsettled. Head Coach Peter Smith is left without a clear choice between regular season starter Catherine Herron and playoff surprise Kalie Townsend. Ultimately, although the Martlets showed admirable effort, they did not win the big games, continuing a trend that has seen a very talented team fail to cap ture a gold medal in six championship trips. Without a berth in the nationals guaranteed next year, it will be tough for the team to change that. MVP: Safka Player to watch for next year: Denis Grade: B +

— AdamHeller

—DanMcQuillan f? *r- M c G i l l

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22 sports i 22.3.05 | the mcgill tribune

2 0 0 5 M A J O R L E A G U E B A S E B A LL P R E V IE W AMERICAN

L E A GU E

E ast New York Yankees i ÿ, Key additions: P Randy Johnson, P Carl Pavano ' > Key IU losses: 35C3. P i juvitti Javier Vazquez, vuz.c|ut;z., P r wnunuo Orlando Hernandez nernanaez The Yankees come in with a chip on their shoulders, looking to shake off their unthinkable loss to the Red Sox in last season's ALCS. Acquiring the Big Unit and two young arms (Pavano and Jaret Wright will ensure they get their revenge on the Sox and everyone else.

C e n tr a l

W est

Minnesota Twins Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Key additions: None Key additions: OF Steve Finley, SS Orlando Cabrera Key losses: SS Cristian Guzman, 3B Corey Koskie Key losses: 3B Troy Glaus, SS David Eckstein With 2004 Cy Young winner Johan Santana back in the fold With all their personnel losses, the team with the stupidest alongside the reliable Brad Radke, the Twins are once again the name in pro sports—oops, I mean the reigning AL West champs— favourites. While an unproven infield and a lack of depth might hin will be in tough to repeat in the most competitive division in the der these lovMuudget wonders in their attempts to return to the play- league, but MVP Vladimir Guerrero should put them in the driver's Boston Red Sox offs, it says here that the rest of the division hasn't caught up yet. seat. Watch for third baseman Dallas McPherson, Glaus's replace Key additions: SS Edgar Renteria, PMatt Clement ment, as a potential candidate for rookie of the year. Key losses: P Pedro Martinez, SS Orlando Cabrera Chicago White Sox In losing Martinez, the world champions lose their spokesper Key additions: OF Scott Podsednik, P Orlando Hernandez Seattle Mariners son and their heart, to say nothing of a player who is still a top pitch Key losses: OF Carlos Lee, OF Magglio Ordonez Key additions: 3B Adrian Beltre, 1B Richie Sexson er. Despite bringing in strikeout artist Clement to compliment a strong GM Ken Williams traded power for speed in the off-season, Key losses: None returning core, a repeat is not in the forecast for Beantowners. but with Paul Konerko and Frank Thomas, offence has never really If Beltre can repeat his breakout 2004 season (he finished been a concern for the Sox. Even with impressive closer Shingo second in NL MVP voting) and Sexson can stay healthy, they will Baltimore Orioles Takatsu, their bullpen is too suspect to expect a post-season trip. inject some much-needed power into the moribund Mariners' offence Key additions: OF Sammy Sosa that already has record-setting table-setter Ichiro at the top. Key losses: None Cleveland Indians Combined with their stingy pitching staff, look for the Mariners to The Orioles have a potent lineup, featuring Miguel Tejada, Key additions: OF Juan Gonzalez, P Kevin Millwood rejoin the list of ALcontenders in 2005. Javy Lopez, Melvin Mora, and now Sosa, who will add fanare and Key losses: SS Omar Vizquel, OF Matt Lawton 35-plus homers. The downfall of this team, though, is its lack of start Cleveland features a promising young nucleus, including Oakland Athletics ing pitching. Expect an interesting but ultimately fruitless season. catcher Victor Martinez, surrounded by a few savvy veterans. While Key additions: CJason Kendall, P Dan Haren, P Dan Meyer the Tribe is probably still a year away from being competitive, they Key losses: PTim Hudson, PMark Mulder, OFJermaine Dye Tampa Bay Devil Rays might sneak up on the division's top two teams. Billy Beanes genius will now be put to the test, as he was Key additions: 1B Travis Lee, 1BJosh Phelps forced to discard two-thirds of the face of the organization—who apli Key losses: OF Jose Cruz Jr., 1B Tino Martinez Detroit Tigers were also the anchors of his pitching staff—in Hudson and Mulder. The Rays will count on their youngsters to carry them in 2005, Key additions: P Troy Percival, OF Magglio Ordonez The arms he stockpiled in those two trades will validate or discredit and, unfortunately for Tampa, many of those guys aren't quite ready Key losses: OF Alex Sanchez, P Esteban Yan his hallowed reputation, but expect big things from holdover yet. The only reasons that this club will avoid last place is speed While the Tigers are no longer the butt of baseball jokes, it Canadian starting pitcher Rich Harden, who is said to have better demon Carl Crawford, who swipes bases and creates runs like remains to be seen if Percival and Ordonez can return to their pre stuff than any of Oakland's former big three. nobody else. injury form. Another winter of overpaying for middling free agents won't bring much joy to the faithful at Comerica Park. Texas Rangers Toronto Blue Jays Key additions: OF Richard Hidalgo, P Pedro Astacio Key additions: 3B Corey Koskie, 1B Shea Hillenbrand Kansas City Royals Key losses: OF Brian Jordan, 2B Eric Young Key losses: 1B Carlos Delgado Key additions: PJose Lima, OF Terrence Long Texas didn't do much to improve its pitching, so its fearsome The Jays will suffer greatly from the loss of Delgado, whose Key losses: 3BJoe Randa, OF Juan Gonzalez offence (fourth-best in the majors last year) will once again need to departure leaves a gaping hole in the middle of the lineup that Koskie Although they have some good young arms, the Royals will carry a mediocre staff. That said, if their great young infield of Hank and Hillenbrand simply can't compensate for, even if Vernon Wells ful endure another miserable year in the cellar. Look for oft-injured slugger Blalock, Michael Young, Alfonso Soriano and Mark Texeira contin fills his 30-30 prediction. A bounce-back year from 2003 Cy Young Mike Sweeney to follow in Carlos Beltran's footsteps and be the next ues to outslug the opposition, the Rangers could make another sur winner Roy Halladay will be wasted on this last place squaa. Royal to leave in a major mid-season swap. prising playoff run.

mmm_

— JosephGilgoff

— MatthewSegal

— SamLoeb

N A T I O N A L L E A GU E

•Teams are listed in predicted order of finish

E ast

C e n tr a l

W est

Atlanta Braves Key additions: PTim Hudson, P Dan Kolb $*$!!$ Key losses: P Russ Ortiz, OF J.D. Drew Everyone picked against the Braves last year and everyone was wrong—Atlanta won its 13th straight division title. Atlanta brought in budding star closer Kolb and moved John Smoltz into the rotation, and assuming he regains his old form as a starter and com pliments new ace Hudson, the Braves have the pieces to make it 14 in a row.

St. Louis Cardinals San Francisco Giants Key additions: P Mark Mulder, SS David Eckstein Key additions: OF Moises Abu P Armando Benitez Key losses: SS Edgar Renteria, C Mike Matheny Key losses: P Dustin Hermanson, C A.J. Pierzynksi Last year's NL champions shored up their most glaring weak The Giants will once again be in the hunt in September. ness, starting pitching, by acquiring an ace in Mulder. The loss of Even though he is likely off the juice, Barry Bonds can still put up Renteria will hurt, but their fearsome middle of the order will lead the numbers and should pass Babe Ruth to move into second all-time on Cards to their second straight division crown. the home run list, but it's who San Fran added that will make the dif ference. Alou can protect Barry Bonds in the lineup, and they shored Chicago Cubs up their most glaring weakness—closer—by signing Benitez. Key additions: OF Jeromy Burnitz Philadelphia Phillies Key losses: OF Sammy Sosa, P Matt Clement Los Angeles Dodgers Key additions: PJon Lieber, OF Kenny Lofton Never discount a team with a rotation of Mark Prior, Kerry Key additions: 2B Jeff Kent, OF J.D. Drew, P Derek Lowe Key losses: P Eric Milton, P Felix Rodriguez Wood, Greg Maddux, and Carlos Zambrano. Burnitz won't be able Key losses: 3B Adrian Beltre, OF Shawn Green Philly lost Milton, who quietly led the team in wins and innings to replace Sosa's production, but with Aramis Ramirez and Derek Lee, The Dodgers lost a lot of power with the departure of last pitched last year, but compensated by signing the very solid Lieber. the Cubs will be in the thick of the wild card hunt. year's home run leader Beltre, but they'll hang tough if frequently However, injury woes and some questionable starters still plague the injured players like Brad Penny and Drew stay healthy. And despite staff, so even the lineup combination of Rollins-Abreu-Thome won't be Houston Astros a down year—by his standards, anyway—Montreal native Eric enough to overtake the Braves. Key additions: PJohn Franco Gagne can still shorten games and help LAwin. Key losses: OF Carlos Beltran, 2B Jeff Kent, P Wade Miller New York Mets When you lose two all-stars and your biggest signing is a 44- San Diego Padres Key additions: P Pedro Martinez, OF Carlos Beltran year-old reliever, you're probably going to slip a bit. The pitching is Key additions: P Woody Williams, OF Dave Roberts Key losses: CJason Phillips, OF Richard Hidalgo still strong with Roy Oswalt, Roger Clemens, and closer Brad Lidge, Key losses: P David Wells, OF Jay Payton The Mets made perhaps the two biggest individual off-season but Houston lacks pop to go with its hitter-friendly home park. San Diego looks to improve on last season's success; howsignings, but don't have enough players around Beltran and Pedro to ever, they still may be one year away from actually winning the divi really make a run, although third baseman David Wright will be a Cincinnati Reds sion. While the Padres' sluggers gripe about spacious Petco Park, star. Also of importance to the Mets' chances is how Mike Piazza— Key additions: P Eric Milton, P Ramon Ortiz ace Jake Peavy is a beneficiary, and looks to continue his develop and his offensive performance—handles the move back to catcher. Key losses: SS Barry Larkin (retired) ment as one of the game's best young pitchers. Power won't be a problem with Adam Dunn and Sean Florida Marlins Casey, while Milton will help the rotation. If Ken Griffey Jr. can stay Arizona Diamondbacks Key additions: 1B Carlos Delgado healthy (is there an echo in here?), Cincy could make a run. Former j | Key additions: 3B Troy Glaus, PJavier Vazquez Key losses: PArmando Benitez, P Carl Pavano MVP and franchise cornerstone Larkin will be missed. mJSm Key ^ osses: P RandyJohnson, 1B Richie Sexson Delgado infuses the Marlins with much-needed left-handed Arizona suffered a 1 1 Moss season in 2004 and will power and turns their weakness at first base into a strength, but he Pittsburgh Pirates improve on that. Luis Gonzalez will be return from injury and join can't win a division title alone. Even with Miguel Cabrera and Mike Key additions: OF Ben Grieve, OF Matt Lawton Shawn Green and Glaus in a revamped offence, and the starting Lowell knocking the cover off the ball, Florida has too many injury Key losses: P Arthur Rhodes rotation has potential, especially if Vazquez can regain his form in prone and inconsistent young starters to truly contend. The addition of the once-touted but now merely servicable his return to the NL. Pitcher Brandon Webb will also continue to Lawton and Grieve highlights another weak off-season for the Pirates, improve, it won't be enough for the D-Backs to get a whiff of being Washington Nationals which will translate into another poor year. Look out for 237ear-old in contention. Key additions: 3B Vinny Castilla, OF Jose Guillen starter Oliver Perez, who is becoming a bona fide ace. Key losses: 3B Tony Batista, OF Juan Rivera, Youppi! Colorado Rockies | The Nationals remain locked in the division's cellar, but at Milwaukee Brewers Key additions: OF Dustan Mohr least now that they're out of Montreal, that will change in Key additions: OF Carlos Lee Key losses: 3B Vinny Castilla, 1BJeromy Burnitz future years with an infusion of cash. However, the returns on the Key losses: OF Scott Podsednik, P Dan Kolb Colorado hasn't replaced the power of Castilla (who quiet money spent so far don't look promising, as it will be impossible for Ben Sheets is a star and the Brew Crew swapped steals king ly put together a 35 HR, 131 RBI campaign) and Burnitz, and they Castilla to replicate his Coors Field-induced 2004. Holdover Brad Podsednik for slugger Lee, but little else has changed from last year's lost 15-game winner Shawn Estes from an already questionable rota Wilkerson, however, seems primed for a breakout campaign. cellar-dwelling squad. At least the sausage races are fun to watch. tion. The Rockies have a long summer ahead of them.

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the mcgill tribune j 22.3.05 | sports 23 2 0 0 5

M A J O R

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B A SE B A L L

P R E V IE W O F F

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F or me, St. Patrick's Day was a time to be thankful. I was overwhelmed with gratitude towards the fine men and women who worked so tirelessly to invent television, and Iwas extremely thankful for the boob tube sitting in my living room that my roommates and I some how got for free. You see, while many of you were out partying and spilling green beer all over yourselves, I was glued to my couch, captivated by the drama that REUTERS unfolded in front of me. And during commercial breaks, I even managed to catch some NCAA basketball while Steroid user or not, Raffy has one great moustache. I was at it. . The apple of my eye on that Thursday afternoon whopping two paragraphs in the book? Bring him ini" was none other than the Congressional hearings taking they said. "Canseco never played with Sammy Sosa, but place basically because one broke and desperate meatsays the man's just be juiced? Slammin' Sammy, head wrote a tell-all book that tore the cover off of what come on down!" is now a full-blown scandal. Apparently, baseball has a And so there they were on Thursday—Canseco, steroid problem. What's more, America is supposedly full McGwire, Sosa, Palmeiro, Curt Schilling, and Frank of impressionable young athletes routinely injecting their Thomas—facing the proverbial firing squad. First bodies with a substance that, while extremely hazardous Canseco spoke, and warned that he would not answer to one's health, is only slightly easier to obtain than gon every question for fear of violating the conditions of his orrhea from my friend Alex's sister. probation stemming from an assault conviction. I wish I I, for one, am glad that Jose Canseco wrote the could tell you that was just a joke I made, but it's not. autobiography at the centre of this storm. The idea that After Sosa decided to forget how to speak English baseball players might be juicing didn't occur to me for the day, McGwire appeared wearing Archie when Barry Bonds eclipsed Mark McGwire's single-sea Andrews's body. Palmeiro, for his part, bore an expres son home run record only three years after McGwire sion that was equal parts "seriously, what the hell am I shattered the 37-year-old standard set by Roger Maris. It doing here?" and "wait, Viagra's not a steroid, right?" also didn't occur to me when Bret Boone emerged from Rep. Tom Lantos (DGalif.) summed the proceedings obscurity and nearly his home run and RBI out up best when he commented in exasperation, “I increas put of the previous year in 2001. I certainly hadn't sus ingly feel a theatre of the absurd unfolding here." pected steroids of being a potential reason why there Canseco ran his mouth off in what was basically an have been 18 50+ home run seasons since 1993—the extended advertisement for his book, all the while fend same number as there were in Major League Baseball's ing off daggers in the looks he received from the other first 122 years of existence. It just didn't occur to me. members of the panel. McGwire refused to answer any Luckily, the self-proclaimed "Godfather of steroids" questions directly related to his alleged steroid use, opened my eyes. Canseco, in essentially testifying that he was a juicer. Sosa offered up fascinating testimony, such as "baseball been berry berry talks openly about his steroid use, implicates several good to me," while Palmeiro still didn't understand what other prominent ballplayers, and demonstrates that a he was even doing in Washington in the first place. common side effect of the drug is that it makes you talk But you know what the most remarkable thing was like James Brown. about these Congressional hearings? In the end, of all In any case, Canseco's book accomplished some the people testifying in front of Congress and the court of thing that an alarming number of steroid-related deaths public opinion, the guy who somehow made the most among teenagers couldn't—attract the attention of sense was none other than Canseco himself when he Washington, DC. it was time to act. So Congress said, "From what I'm hearing, I was the only individual put together a committee, and each member had their in Major League Baseball to use steroids. That's hard to assistants read and tell them just who it was that , Canseco named. Amazingly, based only on Canseco's believe." You know, it's really funny that an issue as serious as word and not a shred of corroborating evidence, steroids flew under the radar for so long, and it's funny Congress created their guest list for a Fifth Amendment that it took a buffoon like Jose Canseco to finally give the party on Capitol Hill. "Rafael Palmeiro is mentioned in a issue credibility. So funny, in fact, it's downight scary. ■

gotta

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Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ‘Roids, SmashHits, andHowBaseball Got Big,

Now Juiced

M O U R N I N G

MONTREALERS

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LAURA SABA

oing to the gym is starting to get ridiculous; at least, it's getting ridiculous for me. All my attempts to get healthy are proving fruitless for a single reason —ugly clothes. Suffice it to say, a middle-aged man in a bananaYeliow Lycra jumpsuit can be very distracting, and try concentrating on adding the right weights to your barbells when he's trying to ban ter with you. If we are expected to go to the gym and actually get in a good workout, there must-be some guidelines to dress ing, so as not to attract the attention of a horrified gym member, rendering them unable to complete their exercise session. 1. Remember where you are and what you are doing. The treadmill is not a'machine you use when wearing any of the fol lowing: sunglasses, jeans, hiking boots, denim jackets, knit sweaters, hiking boots, dangly jew elry, a skirt, or hik ing boots. 2. Don't wear a matching set comprised of too lit tle spandex. That lit tle polka dot bratop worn with that little polka dot pair of shorts isn't cute. It really pisses peo ple off. And if I don't come after you with a pair of pinking shears, I promise you, my friends will. 3. Your behind should be firmly tucked into your shorts. No part of your anato my should be hang JIMCARREYONLINE.COM ing out of your clothes, and this is Tight shorts restrict ball movement. especially important for men who use the rowing machine. The advantages of wearing properly fitting clothing are endless. Besides not subjecting people to a panoramic view of your unmentionable bits, you can rest easy with the knowledge that blood can flow to your extremities even while riding the stationary bike. 4. If you wear said shorts, choose the ones without the little air flap on the sides, and do not wear them with knee socks. It just shouldn't be done. Ever. 5. Orange spandex should not be allowed at any gym. In fact, orange spandex should not be allowed anywhere. 6. A sports bra is a top. It's not a top when you wear it to work out, and it's not a top when you wear it to your sociolo gy class. Put an actual top over it before you leave your bed room, girls. It's not that difficult. 7. Obey the dress code at your gym. If it states that men should be wearing a shirt at all times, it's because nobody wants to see your abnormally excessive chest hair. If it states that you must be wearing shoes at all times, it's because nobody wants your plantars warts. 8. Po not walk around the locker room naked. Cover your self with a towel, because modesty is a virtue and nudity makes some people uncomfortable. 9. Designer clothes belong in a store frequented by women with dogs in their purses. Don't wear them to the gym to impress people—they have no business being soaked in your perspira tion. 10. And finally, do not be a poser. Wearing the perfect j workout outfit and then parading around the gym without so much as picking up a five-pound weight is not fooling anybody. While the gym is usually a good place to pick up, a $25 to $50 membership is a good reason to strut your stuff elsewhere. ■

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c o m m a n d m e n ts

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When I was a kid, I wanted to be a baseball stat going to get to being featured on istician. But when Idiscovered in grade 11 that I had no aptitude for math beyond simple addition and multiplica tion, that dream was quashed. So you'll forgive my lame Here is the 2005 SEGAL Index top 10: attempt, then, to come up with a statistical indicator to 1. Boston Red Sox: 498km, 98W rival those of Bill James. I present you with the Sad Expos Groupie At a Loss SEGAL Index: 5.08 (SEGAL) Index. It's designed to help those who cheered 2. New York Yankees: 608km, 101W for the late Montreal Expos find a new team towards SEGAL Index: 6.02 3. Toronto Blue Jays: 542km, 67W which to devote their sympathies. The SEGAL Index is based around two key princi SEGAL Index: 8.09 ples: that it's easier and more fun to root for a team geo 4. Philadelphia Phillies: 736km, 86W graphically close to you, and that no one wants to sup SEGAL Index: 8.558 port a loser. With those factors in mind, to calculate a 5. New York Mets: 608km^71W team's SEGAL Index, take the driving distance (in kilome SEGAL Index: 8.563 tres) to the city from Montreal (using info provided by 6. Baltimore Orioles: 889km, 78W ), and divide that by the number of wins SEGAL Index: 11.40 the team had last year. The lower the number, the better 7. Cleveland Indians: 931km, 80W SEGAL Index: 1 1.64 that club is as an Expos replacement. Obviously, the SEGAL Index has its flaws; indeed, 8. Detroit Tigers: 900km, 72W any metric that advocates cheering for the Red Sox must: SEGAL Index: 12.50 Notably, it doesn't provide for the fact that a team may 9. Pittsburgh Pirates: 973km, 72W experience a precipitous decline or steep increase in SEGAL Index: 13.51 wins from one year to the next, or the emotional ties that 10. Washington Nationals: 955km, 67W people might still have to the rechristened Nationals. But SEGAL Index: 14.25 hey, let me have my moment; -this is as close as I'm ever

reference,com.

baseball-

mapquest.com

— AndrewSegal

LauraSabapurports tobeneitheragymbunnynorafashionista. Heronlyclaimtoauthorityonthesubjectofinappropriate gymattireisherabilitytospot outfitsthatmakeherwant-tokeel haul thepersonwearingthem.

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