The McGill Tribune Vol. 24 Issue 26

The

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McGill T rib u n e |

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P U B L I S H E D BY T H E S T U D E N T S '

Curiosity delivers. Vol. 24 Issue 26

OPINION: No m ore groaning round here... o ur swan songs.

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A&E: S um m er already? Pray tell, what to do? Hint: Festivals.

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SPORTS: In the days of yore, th ese w ere o u r heroes. Sigh.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

S OC I E T Y OF M C G I L L UNI VERSI TY

Separatism a t McGill PQ

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ROBERT CHURCH

education comes an increasing realization that one cannot destroy overwhelmingly successful A historic political first for McGill will take long-standing institutions without an attainable place next week, as former Quebec premier vision for the future."

Kirk said that Landry has not been a posi­ Bernard Landry is set to become the first Parti tive influence on the province.

Québécois leader to visit the university.

"I guess I see him much like a crack deal­ Landry served as Premier from 2001 to 2003 and is currently the leader of the opposi­ er-trying to lure my oldest, dearest friend tion in the National Assembly. His speech next down some path that's destined to hurt every­ week, which is being organized by le Comité one involved," she said. "It makes me protective Souverainiste de l'Université McGill—a chapter and, quite frankly, a bit outraged."

Jennifer Robinson, McGill associate vice­ of the PQ—will include topics such as global­ principal (communications),'said that the admin­ ization and immigration.

Jennifer Drouin, president of le Comité, istration was not informed about the talk but anticipates that Landry will receive a warm wel­ welcomed Landry nonetheless.

"As far as I can tell, we weren't invited or come from students.

"It's a historic first," she said. "I think that informed," she said. "That said, our reaction is people will show up just out of interest in the that it's great. It's great for him to come to McGill. I expect Mr. Landry will be very warm­ idea."

Drouin added that Landry's visit might help ly received."

Political Science Professor Richard Schultz, bring together McGill's diverse student popula­ a Canadian politics expert who is currently on tion.

"The whole point of the visit is building leave at the Kennedy School of Government at bridges between the anglophone and fran­ Harvard University, hopes that students will cophone communities," she said, "because a receive Landry politely.

"He [has] a legitimate place in any univer­ PQ leader has never been to McGill before."

According to Drouin, the club was formed sity," he said. "I fundamentally disagree with from provincial and federal parties and claims him, but I certainly do not agree with interfering with his right to speak." close to 60 members.

Drouin said that the Liberal provincial gov­ "[The club is] a coalition of the PQ McGill cell [and] the Bloc Québécois McGill cell. It's a ernment, which is currently facing stiff protests way of having more inclusion because there from student groups over $ 103-million in cuts to are sovereignists that are not members of the bursaries, is destroying 'essential aspects of Quebec culture.

PQ or Bloc." "[The current government] is quite simply Drouin added that the separatist movement has surprisingly sjjpig support in the McGill terrible," she said. "Its destroying everything that makes Quebec Quebec, which is the community.

"I think it gets a fair amount [of support], social network that's really been at the basis of more than one would expect from McGill. Quebec society since the Quiet Revolution Quebec students are 30 per cent at McGill, began in the '60s."

She added that inviting Landry to speak at and‘we know that sovereignists in the general population hover at somewhere around 40 per McGill is a way to include the community in cent or 50 per cent... We also have members Quebec politics.

"McGill is ghettoized from the rest of who are uni-langue anglophones who support Quebec, and we're kind of separate," she the idea."

Devon Kirk, president of Liberal McGill, said. "We need to work on getting past the had different ideas about the level of support for east-west divide in Montreal. ■ separatism among students.

Landry will be speaking at Moot Court on "Thankfully the support for separatism at McGill is limited,” she said. "I think that with April 6.

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A Celebration of Excellence Thurs., Mar. 31 at 6:30pm

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NEWS

Students blow the whistle on Athletics spending

NEWS

M c G ill A th le tics n o t p la y in g fair

The sound of silence?

w ith S tu d e n t S e rv ic e s f e e

Fall r e fe r e n d u m p u ts C K U T a t fin a n c ia l risk

KAYVON AFSHARI

ANDREW SEGAL While students are usually pre­ sented with referendum questions ask­ ing them to shell out more money, those looking to put a little extra cash back in their pockets will have that chance in the upcoming fall election period.

Under the terms of a recentlysigned agreement that passes respon­ sibility for CKUT—McGills community radio station—from the university to the Students' Society, CKUT will be asking students in a referendum if they want to continue to support the station financially for the next five years.

Currently, all undergraduates, and some graduate students contribute a mandatory four dollars per semester for the stations operating expenses, making up 40 to 45 per cent of CKUT's yearly budget. In exchange, students receive four of 12 seats on the station's board of directors and the opportunity for involvement with the station's on-air programs.

Despite the expectation that the question would be posed to students during the recently completed election period, the agreement allows CKUT to place the question on the fall ballot, according to Heather Douglas, the station's funding and promotions coor­ dinator.

"We have until December 2005 to have the referendum," she said.

"We decided to wait until the fall, because the timing was better and we've been directing all our energy toward our fundraising drive."

Of greater concern to students than the time they head to the polls, though, is the station's responsiveness to the McGill community—a factor that many feel is lacking, and which may play an important role in how stu­ dents vote.

"I feel that CKUT is not really involved [on campus], and I wish it was more involved," said Jessica Fabbro, U2 Economics. “Every good university I know has a decent cam­ pus station, and it would be nice to have a campus station that relates to campus life, especially with the amount of money that we put towards CKUT." To counter that sentiment, a new vision statement was developed by the two parties and signed by SSMU council on January 13. It was then sent to Vice-Principal (Administration and Finance) Morty Yalovsky for approval, as McGill had planned to act as an intervener in the matter.

However, according to SSMU VicePresident (Clubs and Services) Sameen Shahid, weeks had passed and Yalovsky had yet to sign the doc­ ument, so CKUT and SSMU decided to go it alone and make the accord effective immediately.

A key component of the agree­ ment for the Students' Society is the goal of including McGill students in 50 per cent of all facets of CKUT's operations. Douglas, however, main­ tained that this policy is nothing new, but merely solidified the station's pre­ existing commitment.

"We just wrote it down in words," she said. "That's how we've always felt—our shows have always been open to McGill students."

But while Douglas claimed that

An $18.50 increase in the Student Services fee next year—the second-largest increase in its histo­ ry—has raised criticism among McGill students and their representa­ tives.

Specifically addressed in these .criticisms is the Athletics program, which consumes almost half of the $171.50 Student Services fee. The fee has been steadily increasing over the past 10 years, reaching $190 next year.

Student politicians have taken issue with the proportion of the Athletics budget that funds intercolle­ giate sports, arguing that intercolle­ giate sports are not a student service and therefore should not be funded by students.

"Intervarsity teams are not a stu­ dent service," said Arts

ty... it's just a question of paying for them in an appropriate way," Sward said. "The university's gain from sports—increased alumni donations, good PR for the university—should be paid for by the university, not from a direct student levy."

However, Billick and Sward said, such a large portion of the Student Services fee should not be allotted to intercollegiate sports when programs they consider more impor tant—like Health Services, Menta Health Services, the Student Aid Office, and the Office for Students with Disabilities—are starved for funding.

"I don't think that there is a sin­ gle student service that can meet stu­ dent demand," said Billick. "For example, there is a twowveek wait­ ing list to see a doctor at Health Services.”

Intercollegiate athletics, he said,

"I don't think that there is a single student service that can meet student demand. For example, there is a two-week waiting list to see a doctor at Health Services."

—Noah Billick President of the Post-Graduate Students' Society DAVE BRODKEY

the station was indeed currently at 50 per cent McGill participation, CKUT's Finance and Administrative Coordinator Zev Tiefenbach was more realistic.

"Of the 250 active volunteers at the station, about 75 of them are stu­ dents, so that's about 30 per cent," he said.

However, when looking solely at students' on-air presence, that figure is even lower. At present, CKUT has just 30 minutes per week devoted to McGill issues in the form of the McGill Ledge, with a small number of other shows having been started by students. But the rate of participation doesn't nearly correlate with the rate of support, something Tiefenbach acknowledged is a problem and is attempting to fix. ^ "We've worked really hard with a lot of programmers to take on stu­ dents as interns," he said. "In some cases, we've been successful, but other shows are completely inflexible, so to compensate for that, we've reformatted some shows as collectives that will involve students."

Although CKUT may be upping its presence on campus as the referen­ dum draws near, there is no guaran­ tee that the station will strive to meet the 50 per cent quota or any of the pact's other stipulations if voters decide to renew its fee, as there are no checks on CKUT written into the agreement. Tiefenbach noted that CKUT is willing to submit to any pro­ tocol of accountability that the Students' Society might want, but that it is not easy for the station to have SSMU as a watchdog.

"SSMU does have a direct supervisory role, but in terms of gaug­ ing student involvement, there is no outside arbiter," he said. "It's difficult in a complex organization for an out­ side commissioner to assess some­ thing like that."

Shahid, however, said that there is no point in having an arrangement

for SSMU to transfer fees to CKUT if the Students' Society cannot ensure that CKUT keeps its side of the bar­ gain. She also pointed out that SSMU does in fact have some control over the station. "[The agreement] is only signed for one year, but will be automatically renewed unless one side objects," she said. "So if nothing is done, and no effort is made for student involve­ ment, then I don't see why the agree­ ment would be renewed [by next year's council]."

But before the year expires, it will be up to students to decide if they want to act as the definitive restraint on CKUT. If the fee referendum does not pass, Tiefenbach said there would be serious ramifications and force the station into significant restructuring, leaving those who vote in the fall elec­ tions to determine if 90.3 on the FM dial will soon be playing a very differ­ ent tune, or, for that matter, anything at all. ■

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The administration's position is that funding for intercollegiate sports is necessary and serves as an invest­ ment, because a more successful intercollegiate sports program will attract more alumni donations for McGill. However, that argument rais es the issue of taxing current students in the hope of a financial return that will only benefit McGill students in the future.

Sward and Billick pointed out that the budget actually misrepresents how much money benefits intercolle­ giate sports. They estimated that the $849,028 budgeted for intercolle­ giate sports should actually include an additional $305,853 because some of the funding for the general Athletics budget promotes intercolle­ giate sports indirectly. Athletics publi­ cations are a clear example of this, because although publications are technically funded under general Athletics, they mostly focus on inter­ collegiate sports. ■

Up to speed dictionary

Newsies i): enthusiastic reporters who have been on the ball and have made their editors proud, privileged, and honoured to work with them. • Liz Allemang (noun): one sassy, smart, kickass hottie. • Mohit Arora (adj): hilarious, huggable, hot. • Lara Bekhazi (noun): proof that beautiful girls can have wonderful personalities and be smart. • - -‘ Brody Brown (adj): crazy, funny, sexy, missed. • Daniel Chodos (adj): loved by everyone who meets him. • Yasemin Emory (noun): gorgeous photo editrix who is as sweet as Sadie's candy. • Benji Feldman (adj): adorable, talented, loved. • Natalie Fletcher (noun): a jour­ nalistic whirlwind, a graphic genius, an inspiration. • Katherine Fugler (noun): a great friend.

• Sam Goffman (adj): patient, lovable, puts up with all kinds of crap from the rest of the edi­ torial board. • Lynne Hsu (noun): fun party girl. • Panthea Lee (noun): someone you wish you were. • Iwona Link (noun): a shy, quiet, incredibly thoughtful photo phenom, • Heather Kitty Mak (noun): layout queen with style. • James Scarfone (adj): good-natured with a falsely gruff exterior, incomparable. • Andrew Segal (adj): insanely intelligent, incredibly funny, unbelievably sweet. • Lise Treutler (noun): one who makes neurotica fun. • Jennifer Jett and Lisa Varano (nouns): two News goddesses that have rocked my world for the entire year. I could never have asked for more than you two, and I will miss working with you, always. I love you both. • Laura Saba (noun): newsie who has had a blast bringing everybody Up to Speed this year. It's been one hell of a ride, and I wish I didn't have to get off of it just yet. Thank you.

' I .iY^tîgh 1 iH r

Undergraduate Society President Rob Salerno. "While the McGill Redmen and women themselves obviously benefit from the opportunity to play team sports, and they may be consid­ ered a source of pride for the school, they do not constitute a general serv­ ice for the student body in the way that Health [Services], Chaplaincy, and career advising do."

Intervarsity athletic teams are best viewed as clubs or special inter­ ests, Salerno said.

Students' Society Vice-President (Communications and Events) Mark Sward and Post-Graduate Students' Society President Noah Billick emphasized that they do not oppose the portion of the Student Services fee that funds aspects of Athletics like buildings, facilities, and general serv­ ices because those programs are used by McGill students at large.

They also stressed that they do not oppose intercollegiate sports.

"McGill's sports teams are a vital part of the university communi­

CAMPUS

the mcgill tribune | 31.3.05 | news

NEWS

Science m ore contested than SSMU N o a c c la m a t io n s in SUS ra c e s BRENT GUERARD The Science Undergraduate Society elected its executive for the next academic year over the weekend.

Despite the long weekend, 1,004 stu­ dents (25.7 per cent) voted in the online polls. No position was acclaimed, as 20 candidates vied for eight positions. Experience was a major factor as all three candidates who are current SUS executives won their respective races and a number of others climbed the political ladder from within the society.

In the race for president, current SUS Vice-President (Internal) Marta Filipski garnered 744 votes (74 per cent) to defeat Cullum Pakosh, who obtained 198 votes.

Filipski said she thought that voters chose her based on her "experience and campaign goals," which included renovating the Burnside basement and developing a [WHAT] program for freshman students.

Marina Lagodich, the only bilin­

Do you sometimes feel like a whole person in a broken world?

You are not alone.

W e to o a re s im p ly tr y in g to in c re a s e o u r u n d e r s ta n d in g o f w h a t it m e a n s to b e a w h o le p e r s o n ,

SUSONLINE.NET

Jason Chan and Lopa Das are two of three SUS execs returning next year.

The vice-president (internal) posi­ tion went to U2 Physiology student Mike Dunn. He captured 318 votes (31.6 per cent), surpassing Priyah Kumar with 250 votes (24.9 per cent), Olivia Chang with 223 votes (22.2 per cent), and Nathaniel Winata with 132 votes (1 3.1 per cent).

Experience was a major factor as all three candidates who are current SUS executives won their respective races and a number of others climbed the political ladder from within the society.

gual candidate, was elected vice-pres­ ident (academic) with 665 votes (66.1 per cent) over Tracy Ebanks, who gained 250 votes (24.9 per cent).

Lagodich has extensive experience with the academic portfolio as an aca­ demic coordinator and Faculty of Science Committee member.

3

"I'm out to make sure everyone has a good time," Dunn said.

The position of vice-president (external) went to Lili Gao with 570 votes (56.7 per cent) over Daniel Elliot, who received 348 votes (34.6 per cent). Gao has worked on many events that fall under the vice-president (exter­ nal) portfolio, including the Charity Fair

and Red & White graduation ball. She said her goal for next year is "strong communication."

Jason Chan was re-elected vice president (finance). He received 602 votes (59.8 per cent) to defeat Sara Edwards, who won 346 votes (34.4 per cent). Chan said his greatest weak­ ness has been "saying 'no' to groups asking for money."

In the race for vicepresident (com­ munications), incumbent Lopa Das pre vailed. Das garnered 548 votes (54.5 per cent) to defeat Dan Charleton, who won 378 votes (37.6 per cent). Das said she has learned from her mistakes and looks forward to a successful year.

In a tight race for two Students' Society representative positions, Lauren McGruthers gained 337 votes (19.4 per cent) and Shelley Vaisberg won 317 votes (18.3 per cent), to edge out Kaisra Esmail, Samar El Tarazi, Rime Salmi, and Yasmine Haddad. ■

b y d o i n g w h a t w e c a n to fix s o m e o f t h e w o r l d ’s b r o k e n b i t s .

T h a t ’s w h y w e ’r e m o r e c o n c e r n e d w i t h th e h e re -a n d -n o w

th a n th e h e re a fte r.

W e a p p r e c ia te tr a d itio n , b u t w e liv e i n t h e p r e s e n t . L e t ’s t a l k a n d l i s t e n to e a c h o th e r th is S u n d a y a t 1 0 :3 0 a m .

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Children’s program every Sunday, also at 10:30 am.

Admissions, Recruitment and Registrar's Office N E W S

B R I E F S

Talks about Muslim prayer space resume Negotiations between the uni­ versity. administration and the Muslim Students' Association have resumed in an attempt to resolve the ongoing issue of Muslim prayer space.

With the lease on the existing Muslim prayer room on campus set to expire on May 31, MSA and the uni­ versity administration have resumed talks in the hope of finding a solution quickly. In the long term, the universi­ ty is optimistic that the MSA will find a suitable off-campus location to pray. There is no solution in sight, however, in the short term.

"Our offer to help interested stu­ dents still stands and discussions with members of McGill's Muslim commu­ nity are ongoing," said Vice-Principal (Communications) Jennifer Robinson.

She noted that the administration has been actively contacting propri­ etors in the area, with the goal of identifying possible prayer locations for use during school hours.

"They are offering to help, which is something we appreciate," said for­ mer MSA President Isam Faik.

While the university maintains that it is committed to helping the MSA, many Muslim students feel that McGill is simply not doing enough.

MSA spokesperson Sarah Elgazzar said that commitment from McGill is needed.

"They are not committed," she said, "and that is disheartening and it is hurtful."

For the past two years the MSA has been leasing prayer space in the basement of Peterson Hall. The issue

arose last summer when Vice-Principal (Administration and Finance) Morty Yalovsky notified the MSA that their two-year lease will end on May 31, with no option to renew.

"We thought that the space was permanent," said Elgazzar, explain­ ing why the association never looked for an alternate prayer space. "The old administration made it seem as though it was just a formality to renew it every two or three years."

However, McGill maintains that it is a non-denominational institution, and has never granted any religious group permanent prayer space on campus.

—Miriam Aronowicz McGill maintains multiple food service providers After reviewing the report of the Dining-at-McGill Advisory Committee, Vice-Principal (Administration and Finance) Morty Yalovsky has decided to stick with the status quo in McGill's food services for one more year.

The committee recommended that the university develop a set of performance indicators and monitor those services with a broad represen­ tative committee of stakeholders, develop a multiyear plan for food services, and prohibit exclusive con­ tracts in order to allow for student fund-raising activities. The administra­ tion accepted these recommendations but rejected the committee s fourth rec­ ommendation, that food services in Residence involve a distinct review process. This was rejected on the basis that all food services on both the downtown and Macdonald cam­

puses should be subject to the same review processes and standards.

With the approval of Senate, Yalovsky asked that the committee be reconvened with its current member­ ship to consider how to implement the recommendations. "[Yalovsky] realizes the impor­ tance of a permanent committee to offer advice and input on the issue," said Arts Senator Max Reed, who is also a representative of the Coalition for Action on Food Services. "Also, it is good to see that the administration recognizes the importance of student fundraising. 1look forward to working with them to develop these stan­ dards.”

—Azadeh Tam/eedi No benediction at convocation?

The administration has tentatively decided to remove the traditional benediction from this year's convoca­ tion ceremonies.

"It certainly seems to have been an anachronism," Principal Heather Munroe-Blum said at the Board of Governors meeting Tuesday.

Students' Society Board Representative Matthew Howatt dis­ agreed, saying the decision upset many students.

"For them, spirituality has been an important part of their university experience, and they would feel incomplete if they were to graduate without some sort of blessing."

Several Board members suggest­ ed a moment of silence as a compro­ mise. Munroe-Blum said she will reconsider the issue.

—Jennifer Jett

I m p o r ta n t R e g is tra tio n In fo rm a tio n fo r F a ll 2 0 0 5

Minerva will be CLOSED to RETURNING students for fall/winter registration and course change from Tuesday, August 2, to Monday, August 8,2005 inclusive.

This temporary closure will provide better service by preventing an overload on the system when new student registration opens.

The deadline for returning students to register without any late fees and before Minerva closes is August 1.

Late registration and course change REOPEN on Minerva for ALL returning students on Tuesday, August 9 until Thursday, September 1 with a $50 late fee.

Any returning student who has not registered as of Thursday, September 1, will be assessed a $100 late fee between Friday, September 2 and Tuesday, September 13,2005.

Please note that this closure also applies to Continuing Education students. Continuing Education registration and late registration dates are available at http://www.megill.ca/conted-students/registration/schedule/.

For detailed registration dates and other important dates in the academic year, please consult w w w .m cgili.ca/student-records/date.

M c G ill

4

news | 31.3.05 | the mcgill tribune SSM U

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Vice-President (Clubs and Services) Sameen Shahid

First, hats off to Sward and the SnOAP managers for another successful beer-soaked January. Now on to the criticism. Sward has emphasized his commitment to making Council documents available on the SSMU Web site, and while posting the minutes of previous meetings is a significant improvement, the only execu­ tive reports online seem to be his own. Since the beginning of the year, the Web site's main page has optimistically promised, “bientôt disponible en français," but that's one more promise that SSMU has broken repeatedly. Twenty per cent of McGill students speak French as their first language—can Sward not find one of them to translate common SSMU phrases like, "The deadline has been extended"?

We were disappointed when she abandoned her recent bid for SSMU president for health reasons.

Maybe it was the competition, but she had a decent shot a! winning. If the idea of Shahid running SSMU wasn't upsetting, it suggests that she did not mangle anything in her portfolio this year She communicates well and, unlike a politician, admits when she doesn't have a response Better yet, she seeks out answers quickly, at least for the media On the other hand, some fledgling clubs say she hasn’t done enough to help them get established Leon Mwotia, successor to Sameen, take note: Is there a reason why Blind Swim isn't a club by nowS

Vice-President (Community and Government) Daniel Friedlaender

Vice-President (Operations) Anthony Di Carlo

For someone who is supposed to represent McGill students to the greater community, Friedlaender has kept an awfully low profile. This is partly attributable to the numerous CASA, FEUQ, and Liberal conventions he attended, but it is also due to Friedlaender's general with­ drawal from SSMU after a student shoved a shaving-cream pie in his face in November.

Frustrated by his absence, other executives stacked undistributed copies of La FEUQ's Bahu magazine in front of his office door. Given the personal and political circumstances, it would have been perfectly understandable and forgivable if Friedlaender had resigned. Knowing that his heart was no longer in the job, he probably should have.

Gert's is still losing money, but what else is new? The Shatner basement can't compete with Irish pubs on St. Patrick's day. Where did Di Carlo succeed this year? He wins points for using his role to take an interest in provincial politics. While the vice-president (operations) is considered to have the least political portfolio, Di Carlo participated in meetings of La Fédération étudiante universitaire du Québec and took a stand against acts of civil disobe­ dience, which the provincial lobby group has engaged in to protest the Quebec govern­ ment's cutback to student bursaries. Di Carlo's virtue remains his accessibility. If you wanted to talk politics with a SSMU executive this year, you had a better chance of meeting with Di Carlo than the vice-president technically responsible for community and government issues — Daniel Friedlaender.

Vice-President (University Affairs) and acting President Andrew Bryan Well, he's no Vivian Choy, but then again, who is? The Tribunes sick infatuation with the V-Choy notwithstanding, we do not have much to say about Bryan's shortcomings as vice-president (university affairs)—except that he doesn't seem to have any.

He pretty much did an excellent job in that position until the first week of September, when Alam Alii vacated the position of president. This year's execu­ tive argued strongly against holding a by-election, and we thought it was because they were worried a newbie would break up their happy clique, but it turns out they had a point. Leaving the letter of agreement negotiations in the hands of a résumé-builder with no brain would not have benefited anybody, and Bryan was easily the best man to negotiate on the students' behalf.

Bryan's weakness as president was keeping the SSMUshies together. He was like a single parent with two jobs, trying to keep a family of inefficient, selfabsorbed, bickering councilors in line.

Over the year, we have closely watched Bryan be two people at once, just waiting for him to collapse with exhaustion. That hasn't happened, and we have to admit he's done a pretty much bang-up job. We just wish he didn't get off on being king of SSMU so much—we really, really want to love him.

DOUBLE

TAKE

People in glass houses...

I t's becoming a trend: every spring, Students' Society councillors get pissy and demand that SSMU executives not be paid. This year, however, they've focused their wrath on not one, but two vice-presidents: Daniel Friedlaender (Community and Government) and Mark Sward (Communications and Events).

Council will discuss whether to cut off their stipends tonight at 6pm.

Executives come under intense scrutiny, as they should, but few peo­ ple pay attention to how councillors perform. This chart details attendance at council meetings as of March 17.

Note: This is a rough estimate based on available minutes and may not be 100 per cent accurate. Gold stars to Anthony Di Carlo, Andrew Bryan, Leon Mwotia, and Junaid Subhan for perfect attendance—at least as far as we can tell.

Councillor

‘ Elected in Oct./Nov.; “ Elected in midyear; ‘ “ Resigned in Eebruary.

Meetings Attended

Meetings Missed

Councillor

Meetings Attended 11

Anthony Di Carlo (Ops)

15

0

Mike Tolley (Engineering)

Sameen Shahid (C&S)

14

1

T. Zigras (Engineering)

11

Meetings Missed 4 2

Dan Friedlaender (C&G)

11

4

Chris Sullivan* (FYCC)

5

3

Mark Sward (C&E)

13

2

Andres Drew (Law)

7

7

Andrew Bryan (UA) Graham McNally (Arch.)

15 12

0

J. Lebovic (Management)

9

3

13

Adrian Angus* (Arts)

6

2

Julie Okapuu (Medicine) A. DonnyGlark* (Music)

6 2

8

0

Anthony Dursi (Arts)

13

2

Emily Ireland (Nursing)

10

5

J. Ferguson-Woods (Arts)

9 9

6

Barbara Ng (PT/OT)

7

6

D. Brown (Residence)

12

C. Rosenfeld (Athletics)

12

3

Namita Rokkam(Science)

12

3

N. Choudhury (Clubs)

12

3

Junaid Subhan (Science)

15

0

S. Vaisberg* (Science)

15 4

0

Leon Mwotia (Clubs) Alex Kemeny (Clubs)

11

2

Bryan Arciero (Senate)

11

4

C. Choi** (Dentistry)

3

3

Max Reed (Senate)

14

Rob Green*** (Ed.)

8

5

Gonzalo Riva (Senate)

14

Patrick Scace (Arts)

h

8 2

3 ^

1 1

THANK

the mcgill tribune j 3 1 3 .0 5 | news

YOUS

S S M U

Wild for W ednesdays

campus'listings

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WHAT...

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Stand

Hillel McGill

April 7

21 1 1 St. Laurent

842-9569

Final Show

Tonal Ecstasy

April 2 7PM, April 3, 5pm

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Spring Concert

McGill Choral society

April. 2

454 Laurier

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B R I E F

Law students elect LSA executive Andrés Drew was elected president of the Law Students' Association.

Other winning candidates included Stephanie Colford (vice-president administration), Kara Morris (vice-president ath­ letics), Sam Adkins (vale­ dictorian), and Vic Arora and Anna Haliotis (sec­ ond-year class presidents).

All other positions were acclaimed.

Drew, currently the LSA vice-president (exter­ nal), said he wants to increase the presence of alumni in the Law faculty for funding and network­ ing purposes.

He also expressed optimism that LSA will

resolve its dispute with the Students' Society over the $6,000 in special funding Law students receive annu­ ally.

SSMU acting President Andrew Bryan has said he no longer wants to maintain this arrangement.

"We have mutual interests," Drew said. "I'm very confident we can reach [an] agreement that is mutually beneficial."

During the election, Law students voted almost 80 per cent in favour of a referendum question man­ dating the LSA to negoti­ ate lower ancillary fees with SSMU, and to with­ draw from SSMU if neces­ sary.

-1-Jennifer Jett

i l l

■ i

For their enthusiasm, excel­ lence and exceptional efforts, we would like to thank: Robert Church, Sepand Tehrani, Heather Haq Lawrence, Miriam Martz, Rebecca Graber, Max Shapiro, -David Nataf, Emily Harris, Kelly Harris, Sidonie Penicaud, James Gotowiec, Lauren Consky, Christine Cullen, Elisha Siegel, Kevin Afshari, Josh Wilner, Daryl Wile, Andrew Bauer, Mirella Christou, Dany Horovitz, Jay Paleja, R. Scott Mclsaac, Sam Lazarus, Azadeh Tamjeedi, Casey Reynolds, Jacqui Wilson, Katherine Fugler, Xiang Gu, Mikelis Steprans, Genevieve Jenkins, Niail Mackay Roberts, Traci Johnson, Farah Qasemi, Megan Briggs, Charlton R. Dwight, Natalie Earl, Mohit Arora, Matthew Hendy, Courtenay Adams, Jordan Safer, Amanda Greenman, Elissa Zirinsky, Miriam Aronowicz, Clio Pitula, Sheera Gendzel, Jesse Gutman, Theresa Murphy, Terri Alderfer, Geoff Ng, Sarah Grynpas, Sondip Chatterjee, Brent Guerard.

Special thanks to Heather Kitty Mak. Congratulations to next year's News Editors, Robert Church, James Gotowiec and Niall Mackay Roberts.

—Jenn, Laura, and Lisa

a»

www.canada

1 2 3

go.ca 23go

Affaires étrangères Canada

Foreign Affairs Canada

5

C anada

opinion

The weekly world news

^ e d ito ria l

JAMES SCARFONE I t is a tireless effort on the part of the editorial board to come

C r e a tio n ism I n any given week, 20 to 80 students contribute to the creation of a fab Trib issue. We may bitch occasionally, cry every once in a while, and threaten mass murder when things get really hectic, but in our hearts, we know how lucky we are to have such a go-getting team... and yeah, that's right, we love you all to death. For those about to rock, we salute you... and for those expecting a real editorial, well, September is not too far off, loser.

up with a relevant topic to present to our readers every week. More often than not we pick news items that hit close to home, such as when we opined on the vqlue of quickly picking up the French language and Québécois culture rather fhan treating McGill (and Montreal) as a pit stop for our careers. Other times, we've taken aim at large items in the cur­ rent affairs dossier because we know that students are interest­ ed in learning their fellow man's angle on the issue in ques­ tion. The year in passing being a major election year in both the US and Canada, we've tried to grasp the general student reaction and condense it to 600 words, such as when we would rant about Bush or Chrétien. During the course of gaug­ ing a pulse for student interest in these topics, we sometimes lampoon the nature of society, but sadly, our sarcasm would go unnoticed, and our plan thus backfiring.

This, indeed, is the cry of many journalists, especially stu­ dent journalists. Our maxim for the past few years has been to take our work seriously, but not ourselves. Unfortunately, in our quest for doing so, we're afraid that the reader sometimes takes himself too seriously in his pursuit of valuable journalism.

Keeping in mind that we are neither the Globe and Mail nor The New Yorker, we have yearned to give you the straight dope on McGill and its surroundings while maintaining our neutral political views. It is in this student life, however, that we

With other editorials, we have the power to change minds and create solutions. Here, we do not expect to turn heads on global and national issues, but merely engage in insightful debate.

Dan Butler, Kim D'Souza, Tony Esteves, Rebecca Graber, Cristina Markham, Jeremy Morris, Casey Reynolds, Jeff Roberts, Brett Schrewe, Elisha Siegel, Steve Waldman, Josh Wilner, Robert Church, Sepand Tehrani, Heather Haq Lawrence, Miriam Martz, Max Shapiro, David Nataf, Emily Harris, iMac Daddy, Kelly Harris, Sidonie Penicaud, James Gotowiec, Lauren Consky, Christine Cullen, Kayvon Afshari, Daryl Wile, Andrew Bauer, Mirella Christou, Dany Horovitz, Jay Paleja, R. Scott Mclsaac, Sam Lazarus, Azadeh Tamjeedi, Jacqui Wilson, Katherine Fugler, Xiang Gu, Mikelis Steprans, Genevieve Jenkins, Niall Mackay Roberts, Traci Johnson, Farah Qasemi, Megan Briggs, Charlton R. Dwight, Natalie Earl, Matthew Hendy, Courtenay Adams, Jordan Safer, Amanda Greenman, Elissa Zirinsky, Miriam Aronowicz, Clio Pitula, Sheera Gendzel, Geoff Ng, Terri Alderfer, Clyde, Theresa Murphy, Ben Lemieux, Brenda Petroff, Bryn Kellener, Catherine Lemery, Celia D'Andrea, Cheryl Tyler, Brent Guerard, Chloe Markowicz, Clara Schwarz, Cory Sterling, Dave Barber, Devin Montgomery, Greg Ellerman, Hilary Elkins, Hillary Brenhouse, Jacqueline Leung, Jesse Gutman, Julia Raponi, Lauren Wagner, Bonnie, Matthew Arnot, Melissa Price, Michael Ichioka, Mike Dineen, Natalie Goldenberg-Fife, Paul Goertzen,

Rebecca Lazan, Resham Popat, Samantha Fuss, Scott Sameroff, Serene Tourna, Ella, Shivangini Arora, Sid Pharasi, Simone Cruickshank, Spencer Ross, Susan Cooke, Tim Chan, Julia Shonfield, Trevor Craig, Kira Costanza, Seema Jethalal, James Grohsgal, Matthew Howatt, Brody Brown, Patrick Fok, Vladimir Eremin, Dave Brodkey, Gracia Jalea, Dustin Raab, Shael Zelunka, Marc Tessier, Meaghan Hoyle, Anne Sexton, Geraldine Anania, Mike Bick, Lise Bondy, Narvan Bouzari, Zeynep Colpan, Allison Graham, Marvin, Sarah Grynpas, Cleve Higgins, Katie Higginson, Leora Katz, Juliette Lyons-Thomas, Melissa Miller, Judy Murphy, Kat Neville, Caroline Olechowski, Harvey Wallace, Howie Kislowicz, Dan McQuillan, David Blye, Zenah Surani, Adam Myers, Danny Nguyen, Thomas Pagliarulo, Joseph Gilgoff, Adam Heller, Eric Mutter, Melanie MacDonald, Frederic Gauthier, Britknee, Angela Giannotti, Shelby Parnes, Hansel, Nick Rosen, Matthew Segal, Ted Paulus, Ricki Gurwitz, Kelsea Forzani, Nathan Applebaum, Noah Scheinman, Andrew Patton, Sam Loéb, Jonathan Klein, Bryan Arciero, Adam Wadsworth, Nicole Haris, Sondip Chatterjee, Rachel Melnik, Branka Petrovic, Aunt Sally, Dave Piccin. And Chad, for being so darn patient.

th a n k you .

are subjected to the double-edged sword, where one cannot lighten an issue that others will deem incredibly earnest.

Could a left-of-centre university such as ours actually tolerate a campus newspaper that would endorse-Bush for another four years? Reading between the lines is crucial in this particular game, folks.

Our role, of late, can be argued to have been down­ graded.'With three major campus papers reporting the news for a combined four times a week, we have been forced to stick our necks out more often in order to achieve a unique taste. Further, with the spawning of faculty newspapers, including the resurgence of one, we have had to imagine the loss of pockets of readers to those publications that cater specifically to them.

These are challenges that every publication must fre­ quently endure. However, the fun part is in the adaptation.

We've tried to steer away from the seemingly banal current events, and have sought a sixth sense for the offbeat and the off-thewall, exemplified by our look at the absurdities of the SpongeBob is gay debate, for instance. These stories are intended to keep us on our toes while we, in turn, keep you on your toes when we cite them for our factory of thoughts.

Think Factory has acted, and will continue to act, as a forum for eternal discussion, so to speak. With other editori­ als, we have the power to change minds and create solutions.

In this column, though, we do not expect to turn heads on global and national issues, but merely engage in insightful debate. It is a place to think for you and for us. Student jour­ nalism is a competitive field at McGill and it is important to be one of a kind. By bringing the lighter side and the hard­ line aspect of major news stories from around the world that affect our readers every week, we know now that we stand alone. ■

4 ketters Show me the baby

I am grateful to Kim D'Souza (Picture politics and the English language—22.3.05) for his attempf to clear away the haze, and bring back to light the fundamental reality that is being so willfully obscured by pro-abortionists: the unborn baby. ("Pro-choice" is itself a ridiculous use of the English lan­ guage, for the question immediately arises: choice to do what?) There is an old Chinese proverb, which says that the first step towards wisdom is calling things by their right names. D'Souza and Orwell seem to think that one of the ways we can know is by simply looking.

I can testify to this. I used to be pro-choice until I actual­

ly saw with my own eyes, the images of aborted babies—a grim reality and ugliness so horrific that words alone can never convey its meaning. Shielding not only this reality, but the beauty of the pre-bom (as seen from new ultrasound tech­ nology) from the public eye is merely the latest in a string of attempts to further dehumanize the baby, and sugar-coat the truth about murder.

—Justin Pulikunnel, U3 Psychology Happy with the "shoddy" carriers

I'm very sorry that James Scarfone may have lost money with Jetsgo, but to characterize discount carriers as "shoddy" or claim "they should not be counted on" are ill-advised and

ill-informed statements (Jetsgo abandon the airlines— 22.3.05).

Currently, the only airlines to make any money in the last year are discount carriers, both in Canada and in the United States: Airtran, JetBlue, and Southwest stateside, and Westjet at home. Conversely, "established" carriers have been hemorrhaging unbelievable amounts of cash for a vari­ ety of reasons. Here at home, Air Canada only emerged from court protection last fall. To assume these carriers, due to their history and size, are invincible is also erroneous. Pan Am, the largest international carrier in the world in its heyday, suddenly ceased operations in 1991, as did then largest car­ rier Eastern Airlines. Canadian Airlines also couldn't hack it

the mcgill tribune | 31.3.05 j opinion

7

Sacred cows

I V I c G ill T rib u n e Curiosity delivers.

E d it o r - in - C

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Natalie Retcher editor@tribune.mcgill.ca M

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James Scarfone seniored@tribune.mcgill.ca N

E d it o r s

ew s

Jennifer Jett Laura Saba Lisa Varano tribnews@tribune.mcgill.ca F e a t u r e s E d it o r s

Liz Allemang Panthea Lee features@tribune.mcgill.ca A8.E E d i t o r s

Daniel Chodos Lise Treutler arts@tribune.mcgill.ca S

po r ts

What to make of the anarchists? jeff. robe rts@elf.mcgill.ca The hillsides ring with "free the people"/Or can I they now appear to have been entirely eclipsed hear the echoes from the days of '39?/With by new groupings of upstart anarchists.

Who are the anarchists and what are we to trenches full of poets/The ragged army, fixin' bay­ make of them? Though the communists have cer­ onets to fight the other line.

—The Clash, "Spanish Bombs" tainly been staffed with their share of lunatics over the years, their ideas and ideological ow fading out of memory, the Spanish grounding were easy enough to discern. Not so N Civil War was the most romantic of con­ with the anarchists, who seem to renounce anyflicts, when literary greats like thing and everything, including the communists.

An essential idea for todays anarchists is Hemingway and Orwell joined thousands of vol­ unteers from around the world to fight fascism. It that all established social institutions are inherent­ was a war for idealists, intellectuals, and the con­ ly hierarchical and therefore oppressive. Both fused. Today, icons and signs from that conflict individual and social redemption can only be continue to flicker in Montreal, as a new genera­ obtained by abolishing all hierarchies, and replacing them with structures in which decision­ tion searches for symbols of a better world.

During last months protests, small but lively making is derived from consensus and individual bands of communists and anarchists punctuated autonomy.

This is so much piffle, of course. While the the long processions filing down Sherbrooke.

Some waved red flags, others black ones, in a anarchists are correct in recognizing that present social ordering is based on structures of coer­ mini-recreation of a Spain from long ago.

Besides adding colour to the streets, the cion, the solution they propose is infinitely worse. new wave of protests has also revealed an inter­ Anyone who has had the misfortune to attend a esting shift in the ideas of the radical left. CLAC meeting or to listen to opportunistic brats Whereas communist parties were traditionally the like Braggi Singh should be quick to discern that vanguard of revolution on college campuses, the anarchist crowd has merely replaced formal

Swift kick

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Yasemin Emory Iwona Link photo@tribune.mcgill.ca C

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Lara Bekhazi Benji Feldman Heather Kitty Mak design@tribune.mcgill.ca O

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Lynne Hsu online@tribune.mcgill.ca A

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Paul Slachta advmgr@ssmu.mcgill.ca A

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Shawn Lazare Pubusher

Chad Ronalds C

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Kayvon Afshari, Miriam Aronowicz, Dave Brodkey, Robert Church, Kira Costanza, Trevor Craig, Kim D'Souza, Paul Goertzen, Brent Guerard, Cristina Markham, Jeremy Morris, David Nataf, Melissa Price, Jeff Roberts, Julia Shonfield, Elisha Siegel, Azadeh Tamjeedi ... and insanity, cookies, caffeine, Law and Order that Scarf is missing right now, and the Easter bunny for making us so late.

T

r ib u n e

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My first really passionate affair with a sen­ degree. For my last time out, I've decided to tence occurred in grade seven. I was 14, and the use this space for contemplation both person­ exercise called for writing as much as quickly as al and public about writing and the university humanly possible about any subject that popped experience. If you've agreed, disagreed, laughed, into our little immature pre-pubescent heads. I cried (c'mon, someone must have), or paused to wrote about blowing up a giant killer pumpkin with think out loud, then I am pleased and privileged for a bazooka. In my enthusiasm for the finished prod­ uct, I laughed so hard that when I presented it I sharing these moments with you.

In the beginning there were only syllables: a dragged the entire class into the lunacy. What cough, a burp, a consonant, then poorly-spelled was the salient point here? Was it that they words, then well-spelled words poorly arranged, laughed at me for laughing at my own work; in then poorly-spelled words well arranged, then the effect constituting a pre-teen style-beforesubstance word "poorly" was replaced by "inadequately," medium-is-themessage revelation? Or was it some then "more or lessly" (that's a word, right?), and thing more? That day I discovered that the power finally my editors gave up and my style was born. of writing lay not so much in the words themselves, Thanks, Mom and Dad. Originally this exercise but in the tremendous force of vitality, of imagine was conducted in French, which translates mis­ tion, and of sheer pleasure that swelled behind the spelled words into public humiliation. Oh yes the ink.

High school meant essays ("a paragraph is dictée, France's answer to public school educa­ like a sandwich" in the Archie-Jughead metaphor tion.

Eventually sentence structure was discovered, of writing), two creative writing classes, a grad and oh what joy that was. The infinite power to magazine, and two plays (one finished, one not, cram as many ideas as tightly as possible in a sub- both likely to surface some day and embarrass ject-verbobject arrangement, while flirting (no pet­ me). I won an essay contest, wrote in local news­ ting) with the infamous run-on sentence. This papers, and I was learning... but felt that I need­ allowed for much silliness, inner-contemplation, ed something more.

University was the ticket to better writing. I joy, laughter, sadness, snacks, and merry-making.

T his is the last column of my undergraduate

SamGoffman sam.goffman@mail.mcgill.ca D

hierarchies with informal ones.

In the anarchist paradise, official structures have given way to a culture of passive-aggres­ sive selfishness that is every bit as oppressive as the state itself. Anarchist philosophy is viewed by its adherents less as a means of social improve­ ment than as a way to indulge in an infantile game of "I can do whatever I want and you can't tell me not to."

To be fair, anarchists are not a homoge­ neous bunch, and they are not off the mark in many of their assessments. Society is indeed becoming more skewed towards the wealthy.

And democracy continues to shrivel, as a large part of the population eschews civic participation in favour of mind-numbing consumerism. There is reason to be outraged.

Alas, todays Montreal bears little in com­ mon with the Spanish Civil War. There are no trenches of fascists to storm, and few quests for gun-toting literati. Our modern-day anarchists are confronted with forces of evil that are too subtle and diffuse to confront in a single, glorious bat­ tle. Thus, the anarchists remain: armed with sometimes noble impulses and dreadful tactics. ■

On writing, university life, and snacks

Mohit Arora Andrew Segal sports@tribune.mcgill.ca Ph

JEFF ROBERTS

f f ic e s

Editorial. Shatner University Centre, Suite 110, 3 480 McTavish, Montreal Q C Tel: 514.398.6789 Fax. 514.398.1750 Advertising. Brown Student Building, Suite 1200, 3 600 McTavish, Montreal Q C H 3A 1Y2 Tel. 514.398.6806 Fax. 514.398.7490

JEREMY MORRIS interviewed, I researched, I drank (passionately), I argued, and I sometimes boxed (poorly). I talked frequently, but I listened even more easily and I always loved wholeheartedly. I watched too many movies, HBO series, and cartoons (but I loved doing it). I read enough books to stock a small library, and I wrote anywhere I could try a new style, look at something a little differently, criticize loudly (where necessary), but praise louder still.

Sometimes I felt down and out, darkly and cloudy, but these were brief nothings compared to late night friends drinking too much, smoking too much, dreaming too vividly, and telling tales too loudly.

But thank God they did.

I'm often afraid that people take university to be more than it is. University cannot teach imagi­ nation, passion, or kindness. Only you as an indi­ vidual can learn these things. In many ways, uni­ versity with its propensity for logic is opposed to all of these things, and that which it cannot under­ stand as a whole it deconstructs into oblivion.

Einstein said that imagination is more important than knowledge and it is up to us to see beyond the pieces, beyond ourselves to the bigger picture.

I have sought through my writing to see farther, go deeper, and laugh harder than I had before and, again, I thank you for the opportunity. ■

on its own, and was swallowed up by body—entered the Shatner Ballroom to cast a vote (Students to strike tomor­ Air Canada five years ago.

Granted, no one is going to deny row—15.3.05). However, there were Jetsgo had a horrible record in virtually approximately 200 of us unable to every major industry measurement. But enter because the ballroom had current discount carriers are getting reached its capacity.

I feel the principle of allowing stu­ people from points A to B safely, and paying their bills to boot in one of the dents to bypass the Executive Council most challenging times in the industry's to pass a motion is a noble one. But it should be self-evident that any student history.

—Matthew Lyman, U3 History & wanting to cast a vote should have Humanistics his/her vote counted. Few Canadians would accept the legitimacy of a feder­ al election if it only counted the votes of Amend flawed G.A. procedure Without passing judgment on the the first five per cent of eligible voters merit of the strike that was called for by who made it through the door. There is the General Assembly, I'd like to raise no reason SSMU voters should tolerate an objection about the process used to this unacceptable standard either.

A change to the constitution requir­ call it. The Tribune reported that approx­ imately 800 students—representing ing decisions of the General Assembly about five per cent of the student be ratified by the student population

through a referendum would ensure that all students had their vote counted.

While the expense of organizing and paying for voting booths may have made this impractical in the past, I feel the development of online voting has made this a reasonable requirement.

—Andrew Stirling, Law I Disturbing reporting It is disturbing to see how incom­ petent journalism and fallacious report­ ing of SSMU meetings can make it into the Tribune. Smokers don't breathe easy, a.k.a. emphysema, and that is the reason SSMU's motion to ban the sale of cigarettes from Sadies is still in effect (Smokers breathe easy— 22.3.05). The Tribune should not toler­ ate amateur reporting.

—Daryoush Malecki, Dentistry

The McGill Tribune is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the Students' Society of McGill University, in collaborqtion with the Tribune Publication Society, All submissions, including tetters, Despatch Box, Parry by th'e Tribune ^bljcation & Thrust and Reaction Engine müstînctec^contrîb^o^^rT^,U must include contributor^ narr prc^am^ and *y^^ and contad 'information. sir^isdorte TOJyl^ sent by^e-maif to oped@rif^e.mcgill.ca. Any material judged! iu w in t e n by «-TV uthe: ic ; editorial c t -u io i tun board act homoohobic or solelv oromofonal in nature will not be .published. The. Tribune reserves tee right to edit all contributions. Editorials are decided upon and written A ^oîl^r^^io^ar^strSy*^o^ÿt^aw thor and do not necessarily reflect'tee opinions of^the McGill Tribune, its editors or its staff. Please recycle this newspaper. Subscriptions are availclable for $30.00 per year.

8

opinion j 313.05 | the mcgill tribune

SHEEPS

Neurotica

CLOTHING

Ain't nothing but a P thang

I bid you adieu

cristina. markham@mail. mcgill. ca panthea.Iee@ma iI.meg iII.ca

Procrastinate now— don't put it off!

CRISTINA MARKHAM I tell myself that I work best under pres­ sure. I tell myself that my best ideas come to me when the pressures on.

But unfortunately, just saying these things does not make them true. After 21 years of being a chronic procrasti­ nator, I've convinced myself of a lot of things.

In high school, I felt that my pro­ crastination was more virtue than vice.

In fact, I thought it was more along the lines of a gift—some people can paint masterpieces, some people can write poetry; I can write a 2,50Oword paper in under three days. Granted, a grade 12 book report may not be on the same intellectual plane as a thirdyear term paper. But at 17, my only other impressive talent was my ability to put out cigarettes with my bare feet, so i prided myself on my dazzling procras­ tination skills.

Halfway through first year of uni­ versity, however, my attitude changed.

Maybe it was the fact that I was stay" ing up till 4:30am most nights, so when I needed to pull an all-nighter, the novelty of seeing the sunrise was lost on me. Whatever the case, suddenly, my procrastination was no longer a skill; instead, it was a disease, one for

which there was no known cure. A glance at my schedule would inform me that I had two papers, a midterm, and an 8:30 conference in exactly three days. But a glance at the calen­ dar would tell me that it was Thursday, and the dollar shooters were calling my name. A voice in the back of my mind would scream that I hadn't even picked a topic for either of my papers, let alone done the research. But a louder voice, a symptom of my illness, would tell me what shoes to wear and where I had left my keys.

Now, in third year, I have come to another realization—procrastination is not a skill or a disease. It is an addic­ tion worse than caffeine (I know that's not a very powerful comparison, but I've never been addicted to anything exciting like heroin or porn so it'll have to do). I'm addicted to coming up with thesis statements as I'm writing the intro­ duction. I'm addicted to staying up till 4am three nights in a row, staring at my computer screen until my retinas are fried.

I'm addicted to procrastination.

The first step is admitting it. There are apparently 1 1 more, but I'll deal with them when I get the chance. ■

I t is the duty of any truly great columnist to devote the f 111 ;} Ilf jS J if Jf M |l I ÿ 1 I rj |

I

last piece of his or her illustrious student journalism career to tackling a tough issue; one that will leave a haunting impression upon readers, and push them to think and to question. Unfortunately for you, dear reader, I am neither a great writer nor a particularly bright gal, but merely a self-absorbed simpleton with a pen that duped the Trib into giving her a "social commentary" column. Snicker. As such, my last piece will be about [insert dramatic pause] graduation. Shocking, I know Any graduating student can relate: these past weeks have consisted of giving the finger to schoolwork and partying like there is no tomorrow. Because, heck, for all we know, there is no tomorrow; well, no tomorrow as we know it, anyway. We cringe whenever asked about our post-May plans, opting to drown out our confusion with yet another cup o' brew instead.

Promiscuity has been on the rise—after all, if you're leaving in a month anyway, who cares if people think you're a slut? Inhibitions, it seems, have become a thing of the past, as graduating students trip over themselves to try and seize this window of opportunity—we've shed the moniker of studious undergrads, but we still have some time before we must become serious adults.

I, for one, am petrified of life beyond the Roddick gates. Heck, is there even human life beyond the bub­ ble of René-Lévesque to Mont-Royal and Atwater to StDenis? How will I survive without McGill holding my hand? While some may bitch about the bureaucratic mess that is McGill, the university has been a kind, giv­ ing caretaker over the past four years, in my mind.

Whether I was hungry, horny, bored, or upset, McGill always came through.

Departmental beer and pizzas meant dinner and predrink party; and when those classier departments

PANTHEA LEE decided to throw a wine and cheese—what up, Art History—it meant time for me to find a date and really go to town. I enjoyed hours upon hours of free home entertainment courtesy of the ICC, though many were obscure Japanese films that I didn't understand—how manyjapanime courses do we have here anyway? Pish posh to cellphones; the yellow campus call boxes were the way to go. And a failed midterm, I came to realize, was hardly a sign of ineptitude—rather, it was McGill's way of telling me, "Panthea, honey, you've been work­ ing too hard... you are long overdue for a free cone from Frostbite." And the wonders McGill has done for my love life! For the past four years, I have had a least one date, if not more, every Friday afternoon. Other people call them TAs, I call them my sexy beasts.

Oh, McGill, thou hast been a splendid mother, friend, and matchmaker. And so, dearest McGill and my fellow graduating students, I salute you. For the past four years, you have been the extra cheese on my pizza, the sprinkles on my sundae, and the toffeeflavoured cream in my grande, double-shot vanilla latte.

I'll miss showing up to Friday morning conferences with a second heartbeat in my head and vodka vapour seeping out of my pores. I'll miss laughing at the skanks doing the walk of shame Sunday mornings on my way to Place Milton. I'll miss sketchy KA roofie-fests and ran­ dom hookups at the bar. I'll miss having all of my bestest friends within a four-block radius in the Ghetto. But, most of all, I'll miss the people.

To all those that have befriended me, given me a hug, offered kind words, or simply tossed me a smile, I say thank you. I love you all, my pretties—minus the guy that keeps prank calling me with inappropriate com­ ments, and Miss Couch Nazi in the Shatner lounge— and I wish you a future filled with laughter, spooning, and Chupa Chups. Till we meet again... ■

a& e The Spirit of the Fringe U n c a lle d For o ffe rs lo c a l i m p r o v f l a v o u r th is s u m m e r DANIEL CHODOS I magine popping in your favourite movie and seeing a completely different storyline than-the last time you watched it. This is the expe­ rience of audience members every time they see a show from Uncalled For, a sassy group of five talented improv artists who spe­ cialize in creating something new and original every time they per­ form.

"Our show's always fresh," says Dan Jeannotte, one of Uncalled Fors troupe members, "and that's what I think is a big appeal."

Set to make its third consecutive appearance at the Montreal Fringe Festival this June, Uncalled For is coming off a very successful run the previous two years, selling out most of its shows, and taking home the coveted Spirit of the Fringe Award, which assures the group of a spot at the festival this summer.

All five members of Uncalled For graduated from John Abbott College in the West Island. They portray a bevy of characters onstage, but each also officially serves as a general manager for the company. Mike Hughes is a co-founder of Gravy Bath Productions, which last semester presented a highly popular interpretation of Shakespeare's The Tempest. Matt Goldberg coaches John Renny High School's Quebec regional improv champions, and handles the

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finances for Uncalled For. Anders Yates, a veteran of McGill's Players' Theatre, does much of the administrative work. Caitlin Howden rounds out the group, and she is a student at Ryerson University's impressive theatre program.

However, Jeannotte is quick to point out that all the work is fair­ ly evenly divided amongst the players. "There's no leader or any thing; we sort of spread out the work," he says.

Together for four years as an official improv team, Uncalled For seems to be coming into its own. In addition to performing their everpopular improvised comedy routine, which the Gazette dubbed 1just plain brilliant," Jeannotte and Yates were asked to emcee 'The 15th Hour," a Fringe talk show, at The Grand Bayou Bar (12 rue Rachel O.). As if that weren't enough, the team will host "Fringe For All," a festival preview event at Café Campus, where each company will present a twoand-a-half minute sketch about its show.

Even after all this time, the team still gets revved up for every show, particularly when they have a stage to themselves. Comedy clubs and major events like Fringe Fest provide an unparalleled opportunity for the troupe to get its name out there. "The Fringe is bril­ liant. It's great. It gives people like us a chance to get out to a big­ ger audience," says Jeannotte.

All five members consider themselves actors, and each has aspirations for bigger and better things. For instance, Jeannotte hopes to put together a sketch comedy show with the other members of Uncalled For. Nevertheless, he emphasizes that improv will always be their bread-and-butter.

Though Howden is intimately involved with dramatic theatre at Ryerson, she always misses comedy. "My mother came to see a

show in Toronto where I had just been raped by over 30 men, and she came up to me afterward, and said, T miss your improv shows, dear,"' she says.

What makes their improv worth seeing is not just acting so skill­ ful that many people cannot believe their performance is not script­ ed, but the level of crowd interaction it inspires. Unlike many other improvised comedy outfits, such as Whose tine is it Anyway?, audi­ ence participation is integral to each game or gimmick. Audience members are even pulled onstage at times.

Usually this interactive approach makes for a better show, but there are exceptions. "People love yelling out dirty things [as sugges­ tions]," says Howden. "We're not going to base our scene in a vagi­ na, but thanks for yelling."

Uncalled For is the model of an initially unproven act going a long way, which is part of the criteria behind the Fringe Festival. "The whole idea is it's untested," remarks Jeannotte. "Anyone can get in, and that's its strength."

With several members moving to the Toronto area, the troupe will be spending more time away from home next year. However, they will definitely return. "We're going to keep doing the Fringe for a long time, I think," says Jeannotte. That being said, there is no time like the present to see their act and dozens of others at the Fringe Festival this summer. ■ For information about the troupe's plans and members, check out their Web site, at www.uncalledforimprov.com. Read more about Fringe and all the other festivals in Montreal in the pages to

p r e v i e w

Mosaica offers a variety of style PAUL GOERTZEN I f you're a fan of the plethora of recent movies about dance, you'd be a fool not to see Mosaica. McGill's Contemporary Dance Ensemble, which is so much better than any dance movie, is back for its 21 st year, compiling 20 separate dance pieces that are composed and per­ formed by company members. This event has been in the works since October, so we should be in for an impressive display. Myriad styles abound, with jazz, hip hop, lyrical, modern, ballet, and the ever-so-granci tap. The show is tak-

HANDS

OFF

THE

ing place over three consecutive nights, from March 31 to April 2, at the Gesu Centre de Créativité. Always a popu­ lar event and superb opportunity for ogling (in case you're not so high-brow], ■ Gesu Centre de Créativité, 1200 rue Bleury metro Place des Arts, 861-4036. Showtime: 8pm, tickets are $10 for students, $15 for adults, available at the theatre box office, open 12-6 Tuesday through Saturday or at www.admission.com.

CANVAS

But who gets the X-Files poster? ell, the time has finally come. After a year of shared neurotic media obsession, Melissa is moving out of Lise's house to be a hermit. The only question now is how do A&E addicts divide their nerdy booty? This conversation hints at troubles behind the door of The House of III Repute...

W

L: Have you started packing yet?

M: It's probably a good idea to start figuring out who gets what...

L: I have a portable DVD player! I have a neurotic guinea pig!

M: Yes, but I am kidnapping your hamster.

L: No, not Georgina!

M: She stole my beer! Unless that was you...

L: Clearly it was the bogeyman.

M: Lousy bogeyman. Anyway, you may get the DVD player, but I have a computer that plays DVDs, and I get the VCR! L: Well, I guess since you paid for it...

M: Therefore, you should give me all of your videos. Except for The Last Unicom, you can keep that one.

L: You'd better believe The Last Unicom stays! But you may have videos of what I now have on DVD... Wait! Spinal Tap is mine, bitch!

M: You have no means by which to play it!

L: My body can easily be sold for an hour to obtain the means

with which to purchase a TV. M; Damn. Hey, I need to steal your House of Leaves, because my friend from Halifax stole mine and she's going to Latvia.

L: Can't you read it before you move out? That book is pure genius!

M: I have a stack of nine boob to read already! Plus, I'm not moving far, and I'll be back here all the time to mooch your XFiles DVDs. L: By "mooch," you mean “watch while here," right? Those ain t leaving. Ever.

M: Hey, who gets the X-Files poster?

L: Umm... I get the full-season DVDs. M; Obviously—you bought them. Bloody hell, I have to move all of my concert ticket stubs again, which means more terrible hours of trying to decipher what the scorched ones say.

L: That's what you get for burning down your room, and letting me help!

M: That was more than a year ago!

L: Wait, who gets the poster?

M: Well... I have The Nitpicker's Guide to the X-Files, and the Mulder and Scully action figures. Also, those Freud, Einstein, and Jim Morrison action figures.

L: Yeah, well, at least The Nitpicker's Guide is falling apart. I've got to buy an intact one. I own Fast Food Nation...

M: Stop taking pleasure in my misfortune!

MELISSA PRICE & LISE TREUTLER

L: ...and the nifty Yellow Submarine poster!

M: You are going down. Nah, you can have the poster, because I have the movie! Plus, I get all the Manic Street Preachers stuff.

L: I don't want the Manic Street Preachers stuff.

M: Ha, you can have those Insane Clown Posse and Not By Choice CDs I had to review. I'm sure Ben will give you his Selena 7ty6 CD, too.

L: No fucking thanks. I'd even be too embarrassed to se//them!

M: I'm embarrassed to sell them, which is why I still have— L: I own the crayons!

M: Not the 64-pack of Crayolas! I love those!

L: Oh, we are so five years old.

M: Okay, I won't kidnap Georgina if I can have the crayons.

L: Well, Isuppose that's a fair trade: the princess for the crayons.

M: Yay! I get to colour!

(And our sore throats pause for a brief moment...)

M: This might be a testy issue, but... who gets the X-Files poster?

L: Uh-oh.

At press time, it remains unknown whether Lise or Melissa will come out victorious in the X-Files poster debate. We hope that one of them will discover the magic of Amazon.ca. ■

(•1 I •

1 0 a&e | 31.3.05 | the mcgill tribune

J o i n

r he

F e * tV îtîe * Gay Artfest 2005 (www. festivaldesarts.org), June 30-July 3 The sixth annual Gay Artfest is J by no means closed off for those liv­ ing in the Village. With a mandate to show how friendly Montreal is to all gay tourists and to aid local artists in their quests for exposure, this festival keeps growing and growing. New this year is a jury of art professionals to judge works in all categories, as well as invitations to galleries out­ side Quebec to join the visual celebration.

hile some of you are beginning to have nightmares of greater severity with each passing day in anticipation of finals, we A&E folk are dusting off our summer party clothes with growing excitement for a summer filled with food, fun, and festivals. Out-of-towners, take note: if you never spend a summer in Montreal, you’ll grow up and never really know what it feels like to live.

Well, maybe that’s not entirely the case, but our main point stands: stick around for the warm weather, as there’s plenty to see, do, and participate in. You won’t be sorry— there’s a reason our vibrant little island is called the “city of festivals.”

— Daniel Chodos & Lise Treutler W

A r+fert Montreal Jewish Film Festival (mjff.qc.ca), May 10-19 In its 10th year, this festival continues to feature a wide variety of films, all about Judaism, its culture, and! heritage. For example, look for Forget Baghdad: Jews :, and Arabs, the Iraqi Connection, a documentary that» depicts the struggle of five communist Iraqi Jews who fled to Israel after its independence, or Behind Fnemy Lines, in which an Israeli and a Palestinian venture into each other's territories to find the truth behind their cour tries conflict. Also, check out the special student festival.

M ontreal Jev/isb Film Festival Divers/Cité (diverscite.org), July 25-31

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FanTasia (fantasiafestival.com), July 724 The yearly "genre film festival" that has, in the past, witnessed Ringu well before the rest of us—in fact, its screen­ ing is what resulted in the 2002 Naomi Watts remake—returns with more action, sci-fi, and horror than ever before. The Ubisoft-sponsored fantasy festival aims to open minds with every film shown. The team behind it is still tak­ ing applications, so if you're a budding "jfm Sam Raimi, cast away any shyness and log on to the Web site for details.

Elektra Festival (elektrafestival, ca), May 11-15 Elektra is the festival to challenge your imagination, showcasing digi­ tal art from across the world. Delve deep into the newest electronic music while upping your IQ with digital imaging and robotics technology all in one location: Théâtre Usine C (1 345 avenue Lalonde). The Web site should be up and running soon, so mark it-down.

Montreal's annual gay pride week needs no introduction: 2005 will once again bring us a colourful week of daytime fun for all ages, nighttime parties for the free spirits, and the much-loved parade down boulevard RenéLévesque. Tempt your sights by checking out last years pictures on the Web site and start getting your outfits ready now—you're sure to have a tough crowd to beat.

«—

Mondial de la bière (festivalmondiah

biere.qc.ca), June 1-5 In early June, you'll definitely want to take the week off work. From noon to 1 1pm for all five days, you can choose to buy individual "tasting - •<— fcitsfe

3 QJ

/ntema+ionat Re#pae Fe Montreal International Reggae Festival [montrealreggaefeshvaJ.com), July 15-17 For three days, Old Port will be jam-packed with concerts and other events in honour of Montreal's vibrant reggae culture. More than 100 artiste and performers will be on hand looking to bring peace and unity to the world Spend a weekend exposing yourself to acts in hip hop, R&B, alternative, rock, jazz, tafen, and world beat, all with the goal of promoting lyrics without mass-marketed violent content.

*0

I

coupons" for only a dollar, or alterna­ tively an $8 "tasting mug." Mondial de la bière offers a selection of 340 beers from over all over the world, all at Windsor Station, right downtown

World Film Festival (ffm-montreal.org), August 26-September 5 Films of all kinds from five conti­ nents are screened during the World Film Festival. The filmmakers involved have not yet been completely select­ ed, but as in the past, films will be screened in eight categories: World Competition, First Films World Competition, Hors Concours (World Greats, out-of competition), Focus on World Cinema (Americas, Europe, Asia, Africa, and Oceania), Documentaries of the World, Tribute, Cinema Under the Stars, and the Canadian Student Film Festival.

IE FESTIVAL DES FILMS OB MONDE Just for Laughs (hahaha.com), July 1424 If laughter is good for the soul, then this festival will make you a saint.

Two hundred of the world's top comedi­ ans stand up in front of Montreal crowds during the 1 1-day comedic whirlwind. Included are many theatrical performances, outdoor events, and other diverse attractions. Look out for Evil Dead: The Musical, a must for any Bruce Campbell fan. Keep checking the Web site for the schedule of per­ formers.

Montreal International Jazz Festival (montrealjazzfest.com), June 30-July 10 Montreal is arguably the best place in the world to visit in early July.

Rue Ste-Catherine is completely closed off for blocks, creating a music-inspired party all across downtown. Hundreds of acts, big and small, will mount the many stages scattered throughout the streets. For updates on the list of bands and singers for the 26th edition, keep checking updates on the Web site.

Mondial SAQ—Fireworks Competition (lemondialsaq.com), June 18-July 30 Whether you're a ticket-holder to the reserved seats at La Ronde, a hardy soul braving the two-hour long crowded trek across the Jacques-Cartier bridge, or simply one of the thousands rushing to the waterfront to catch a view, you're sure to be stunned by the impressive dis­ plays of pyrotechnics from around the world. Australia takes to the sky on the festival's opening night; be sure to keep track of the schedule on the Web site, as you're likely to get addicted and anx­ ious about the winner—the nights are that beautiful.

Blue Metropolis (blue-met-bleu.com), March 30-April 3 As BM coincides with the end of the semester, we can burn our coursepacks and remind ourselves what it feels like to enjoy reading again. The seventh edition of Montreal's International Literary Festival brings us dialogues, readings, and work­ shops centred around a theme—"Dialogue sans frontiers"—with over 200 guests from the literary world, including David Suzuki, Melissa Auf der Maur, George Elliott Clarke, and a special group presenting a series devoted to the Middle East.

International Acadian/Cajun Festival of Quebec (acadieenfete.ca), May 20-23 Now in its third year, Verdun's Acadian festival has brought together music lovers and history buffs alike to discover the richness of the Acadian, Celtic, and Louisiana Cajun cultural traditions. There are plenty of work­ shops to tempt the eager, along with exciting foods to fill everyone's stom­ achs after each fun-filled day.

the mcgill tribune \ 31.3.05 | a&e ] 1

A fr u g a l a p p r o a c h t o a M o n tr e a l s u m m e r DANIEL CHODOS h, summer in hallowed downtown Montreal—the nightlife, the street sales... the money. Sadly, for many students, the luxurious offerings from May through August present a costly venture. Jobs are few and far between, and even $7.50 an hour won't adequately fund weeks of debauchery.

With this quandary in mind, we offer eight ways to enjoy the beautiful and famous Montreal summer without emptying your pockets completely. If you are unemployed or just plain cheap, many of these ideas will afford you the opportunity to experience Montreal without shelling out your life savings. These are just a few ideas that you may want to adopt next time the snow melts away. Use these ideas freely, build on them, and adjust them to your lifestyle. Whatever you do, don't shun a Montreal summer due to the cost.

Bustle with buskers. Montreal has countless street per­ formers. from the mundane to the amazing, these informal entrepreneurs can be found everywhere from rue SteCatherine to the most remote metro stations. Whether tap ping rhythmically upon a makeshift bongo or playing the saxophone while on stilts, buskers demand only voluntary donations (so you might want to keep some quarters handy).

Revel in complimentary theatre. The Repercussion Theatre group tours North America presenting "Shakespeare-in-the-park." Hailing from Montreal, last year the touring thespians put on their unique interpretation of A * Midsummer Night's Dream. They can be found doing their thing all over the Island, from Parc Aumais in Ste-Annode Bellevue to Westmount Park, ft's free of charge, and acces­ sible throughout July and August.

Fine-tune your 4M skills. For a nominal fee, any McGill student can get their hands on a video projector from the Information Multimedia Services (IMS) desk, locared in the northern wing of Redpath Library. Carefully place this handy piece of equipment next to your balcony or fire

A

escape, and you've got yourself a 40-foot screen on the side of any building.

Mooch free Alouettes games. Stake out a spot near the top of any building along rue des Pins between rue Aylmer and rue Durocner. Grab a lawn chair, and you have a bird's eye view of any CFL contest featuring the Als. They play home games at Maison Stadium (usually in front of a capacity crowd). Alternatively, contact the team about volunteering for a couple of hours before any game in exchange for a free pass.

Get more cultured. Museums represent an inexpen­ sive means to pursue your diverse cultural interests, without leaving the comfort of downtown. The Museum of Fine Arts provides free admission and guided tours of an impressive collection of sculptures, paintings, and other works of art.

Le Musée d'art comtemporain, located at Place des Arts on rueJeanneMance, charges $3 per person to peruse its selection of some of the most magnificent modern art in the world.

Go hotel-hopping. Want to experience all the glitz and glamour of the Ritz Carlton wrthouf paying an arm and a leg? Throw on a Harry .Rosen so you'll fit right in, and lounge out in the foyers of Montreal's finest hotels.

Check out the roof of the Holiday Inn in Chinatown, which is decked out in a gorgeous Asian décor. Better yet, ride your horse to the Queen Elizabeth Hotel and they will feed her for free (okay, to exercise this option you might have to spend a pretty penny).

Just venture south of rue Sherbrooke. If you simply meander through rue de Maisonneuve and rue SteCatherine, you will be hard pressed not to be heartily enter­ tained. The jazz festival and Just for Laughs, both interna­ tionally renowned, hold up traffic with their free open-air performances. In addition, Francofolies boasts more than 200 outdoor shows during its run, and Divers/Cité cele­ brates sexual diversity during Gay Pride week with count­ less concerts and events.

Tam Tam's. Every Sunday at Parc Mont-Royal: ain’t nothing like it. ■

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REVIEW

The passion of the sports fan N ot ev en

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MOHIT ARORA & ANDREW SEGAL Now that the action has all but wrapped up for McGills varsity sports teams; your friendly neighbourhood Tribune sports section finds itself with plen­ ty of time to ponder the year that has been in the sports world. Here's a look at the best of what we had the pleasure of cov­ ering in 2004-05: Things started off with a whimper in September, as the NHL locked its doors on the players. And the McGill Redmen soccer team struggled in coping with high expectations for the season. The low point came during a 1-1 draw with Concordia, a win given away when a weak goal got past netminder Jose Luis Valdez, who then suffered the indignity of being berated by a member of his coaching staff while still on the field.

As the leaves changed and October was ushered in, professional sports once again cast a somber cloud over the Montreal sports scene, as the Expos were finally euthanized and sent to Washington, to the dismay of at least six or seven fans.

On a brighter note, October also saw the saddest fans in sports finally have something new to whine about, as the Boston Red Sox overcame the Curse of the Bambino and won their first World Series since 1918, but were subjected to the sight of Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore making out on the fiêld as the Sox celebrated their win.

Oh, and if anyone was paying atten­ tion with all the Fall Classic hoopla, Redmen quarterback Matt Connell tore up the league, becoming the first McGill pivot in 26 years to be named to the all­ conference team.

Championship Season November was full of excitement, THE

RED

bearing witness to the culmination of the fall sports season and exciting post-sea­ son play. The Martlet rugby squad contin­ ued their domination of Quebec, sweep ing the conference for the sixth straight year, but had a tough time at the national level, finishing fifth. Meanwhile, the Redmen avenged an upset loss to Bishop's in last season's final, running all over the Gaiters this time around at Molson Stadium, completing a perfect season in provincial play.

But the drama that unfolded at the CIS soccer championships was unparal­ leled. McGill's teams each had to settle for silver in back to back title games, but their stories couldn't have been more dif­ ferent. The Redmen, in as tournament hosts, played the role of Cinderella and snuck into the final, playing hard against an imposing Victoria squad that eventual­ ly pulled away with the win and gold medal. The Martlets, however, held a 2-0 lead at halftime, but let opposing Trinity Western fight back and tie the game up in injury time, before eclipsing McGill in a shootout. The loss was a bitter end to the career of Martlet captain Danielle Day, who was named CIS player of the year.

Ringing in the New Year As great as the fall semester was, it somehow paled in comparison to the excitement that 2005 had to offer. The Redmen hockey team spent the winter break in Europe playing some of the old world's finest clubs, and came back to league play on a hot streak, even after star recruit Jean-Michel Daoust abruptly left the team, signing on with the Sherbrooke Saint-François of the Ligue Nord-Americaine de Hockey.

Also deciding to step away from McGill was longtime Athletic Director Robert Dubeau, whose impending resig­ nation at the end of August will put a halt

ru in a

g r e a t y e a r in s p o r t s

to the longest current tenure in the C IS28 years.

Dubeau's final stretch at the helm of the athletic department took a hit soon after, however, when Montreal's munici­ pal government withdrew financial sup­ port for a bid that would have seen McGill co-host the 2011 World University Games.

Despite that disappointment, February brought about much excitement, as McConnell Arena was fortunate to play host to budding h®ckey superstar Sidney Crosby, who stopped by McGill with his Rimouski Océanie of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League on their way to play in Gatineau. There was no confir­ mation of the rumour that Crosby, whose professional future is uncertain with the NHL on hiatus, would be attending McGill in the fall.

Another bright spot was Redmen point guard Denburk Reid, who eclipsed Willie Hinz as the basketball team's alltime leading scorer by pouring in 24 points in a 66-57 victory over Bishop's on February 4th.

Hockey heroes fall just short As March rolled around, things heat­ ed up on the ice for both of McGill's hock­ ey teams, but both ultimately fell short in the end. The Redmen clinched their first regular season conference title in 59 years, but fell to the Université du Québec-Trois Rivières 2-1 in the best-ofthree the conference final, thus just missing a chance to compete at the CIS champi­ onships. The Martlets also lost in a third and deciding game, this time to Concordia, but still got the chance to fc compete at nationals as hosts, where they finished fourth.

All in all, 2004-05 provided sports fans. with a great deal of drama and excitement. Here's to a great 2005-06 McGill teams were up and down, but always interesting. that's just as entertaining. ■

Z O N E

Sports guys can b e sappy, too MOHIT ARORA & ANDREW SEGAL e're a little nostalgic here at the Sports section today, as an era comes to an end. No, not the one of innocently believing that baseball players were putting up record numbers based on talent alone, or the one in which the NHL actually existed as a viable league. Instead, this swan song is for the reign of Mo and Andrew as the head honchos of this here corner of newsprint. And while we'll restrain ourselves from going all Bill Walton on you, spouting the Grateful Dead and waxing poetic about what a long, strange trip it's been, there are a few things we'd like to get off our chests in this, the final Red Zone of the year.

First of all, when in doubt, remember that we're both idiots. If ever a prediction is made and it's wrong, yup, it's because we're idiots. Like that time we claimed, way back in our second issue, that the Washington Redskins would go 97 and experience a resurgence under Coach Joe Gibbs. Or when we noted that the Dallas Mavericks would miss the playoffs, while the rebuilt Utah jazz looked like locks. Or even just two weeks ago, when breaking down March Madness, we each managed to successfully predict just a single Final Four team. But hey, as we like to say, all predictions correct or your money back (of course, the Tribune is free, so as

W

usual, we have no point. But imagine if the Daily fee worked that way!).

We're also hugely indebted to our favourite writers and columnists for much of our style, and-for the shape that a lot of the section has taken. If there's been anything brilliant in here over the past months, it's probably because we read something just like it either in print or somewhere online, notably in the annals of Bill "I'm too cool to let Mo intern for me" Simmons. It's okay, Sports Guy. Mo forgives you, as long as you give us some more pictures of Theresa.

But self-deprecation can only take us so far; truth be told, we've had an awful lot to be proud of this year. We revamped the back page of the paper, making it your onestop shop for everything related to McGill sports—kind of like Dillard's for Peter Warrick and Laveranues Coles, except with­ out getting 95 per cent off. (A small digression: forgive us for that joke; Andrew's been waiting to use it in print for five years, and this may be his final chance—also, it's far funnier to actually walk into Dillard's and ask for the "Peter Warrick discount" and receive a blank stare from the cashier, so just picture that when reading this).

We also managed to rack our collective brains and

come up with insightful, hard-hitting Red Zones every week, even though all our writers disappeared for the second half of this past semester. Our open letter to the athletic department got results, while other columns received scathing letters to the editor in response. We also—and how, we'll probably never quite know—managed to put newborn Off the Beaten Path in the paper most of the time. And, of course, we can't forget the baby that we nurtured through infancy until it became a full-blown column, Two-Point Conversion, which will be mov­ ing on to bigger and better things next year.

Ultimately, though, it is to you, our readers, that we are beholden. Without your feedback, your devotion to the sec­ tion, and your yearning desire to have us father your children (well, both of our female readers, anyway), we probably would have done a far more half-assed and far less compe­ tent job.

Finally, since this sounds like a (too-long) yearbook entry, it's only fitting to close with by paraphrasing a quote from that great muse, the master of the spoken word himself, Mike Tyson.

Looks like it's time for us to fade into Bolivian. Hope you enjoyed the trip as much as we did. ■

14 sports ! 313.05 j the mcgill tribune

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HOCKEY

Blues shortly after graduating. He bounced between the Peoria Rivermen of the ECHL and the Blues' affiliate, the Worcester IceCats of the AHL, in 2002-03, notching 18 points in 54 games. Davis has since returned to McGill to finish his engi­ neering degree, and is now playing for the Cousin de SfeHyacinthe of the LNAH, where he has scored 15 goals and added 22 assists in 41 games... Former CIS All-Canadian David Burgess, who scored 52 points in his final season with the Redmen in 2002-03, has found a home with the Adirondack Frostbite of the United Hockey League. Burgess signed his second contract with the team in August of 2004, and has excelled so far this season, racking up 26 goals and 65 points in 73 games to go along with a plus-12 rating...

Former Redmen defenceman David Lizotte signed in January of 2004 with the Greenville Grrrowl of the ECHL. While playing for the Redmen in 2002-03, he totaled 24 points and 54 penalty minutes in 29 games, and during his time in Greenville, he put up nine points and 39 penalty minutes in 34 games. However, he was not re-signed, and is now playing for the ESV Huegelsheim Hornets of the German Oberliga Sud, where he has recorded 38 points in 41 games... Todd Marcellus racked up 207 points over 145 games with the Redmen from 1992-1996, and after playing in France, Germany, and the Western Professional Hockey League, Marcellus has found a home in Oklahoma. He has spent the past three years with the Central Hockey League's Tulsa Oilers, and has scored 64 points in 60 games this season... Former Redmen star George Burnett, who recorded 145 points in 84 games with McGill from 1982-1985, went into coaching after graduating. He won an AHL championship with the Cape Breton Oilers in 1992-93, and earned a head coaching job with Edmonton in 1995, standing behind the bench for 35 games before being replaced mid-season. After stints as an AHL head coach and NHL assistant, he spent the past four years as head coach of the Ontario Hockey League's Oshawa Generals. This season, Burnett has moved on to a position as head coach and general manager of the OHL's Belleville Bulls.

FOOTBALL

Jean-Philippe (J.P.) Darche is the most successful member of the Redmen in the pros, having spent five years with the NFL's Seattle Seahawks after spending 1999 with the Toronto Argonauts of the CFL. While at McGill, Darche was named team MVP during his final two seasons, and was selected by Toronto in 1998 with the 21 st overall pick in the CFL draft. He was a backup linebacker as well as longsnapper for the Argos, but planned to play only one season and return to McGill to complete his medical degree. However, Darche's agent got him a tryout with Seattle, where he beat out four other candidates for the longsnapper role. The rest, as they say, is history. Since arriving in Seattle, Darche has played a large role in the Seahawks' NFL record of 371 straight extra point attempts without a miss, having snapped the ball for 192 of those tries, and he was recently rewarded with a four-year con­ tract... The other McGill player to have gotten a taste of the NFL is defensive lineman/longsnapper Randy Chevrier, who was drafted by Jacksonville in the seventh round of the 2001 NFL draft. After being cut by the Jaguars at the end of the pre­ season, he was signed by Dallas the next day and played eight games for the Cowboys as their longsnapper. He was again cut before latching on with the Cincinnati Bengals, and he suited up five times for them before the season's end.

Chevrier, who won the J.P. Metros trophy as the outstanding lineman in Canadian university football in 2000 and holds McGill's all-time record for most tackles for a loss with 20.5, played in NFL Europe and with the Edmonton Eskimos in 2002, and returned to the Esks during their Grey Cup run in 2003. The Montreal native sat out 2004 after being a late cut from the New York Jets training camp, and recently signed to play for the Calgary Stampeders for 2005... By signing with Calgary, Chevrier was united with former teammate Mike Mahoney, who was activated from the practice squad by the Stamps in September of last season. The former All-Canadian linebacker and Presidents' Trophy nominee served as a back­ up longsnapper and played on special teams, where he recorded one tackle... Around the same time, former AllCanadian rush end Steve Young made his Alouettes debut, dressing for Montreal's game against Saskatchewan on October 2 after being activated. Young recorded one special teams tackle for the Als in that game, his only tackle of the sea­ son. Young left McGill in 2002 after leading the nation in sacks with 9.5, and signed with Winnipeg, where he played

th e ir p la y in g

S ta d iu m , M c C o n n e ll A re n a , a n d

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McGill's biggest name in the pros is Mathieu Darche, brother of Seattle Seahawks' longsnapper J.P., who has spent a total of 26 games in the NHL for Columbus and Nashville.

Darche has recorded a goal and an assist in the big leagues, with both points Burgess is now in the UHL. coming in 2001-02. Last season, Darche spent two games with the Predators but played most of the year for the American Hockey League's Milwaukee Admirals, scoring 59 points in 76 games. So far this campaign, Darche has starred for the AHL's Hershey Bears, with 24 goals and 45 points in 70 games. While at McGill, Darche led the country in scoring in 1999-2000, with 62 points in 26 games... Fresh off lead­ ing the Redmen to the OUA Eastern division championship, defenceman Daniel Jacob joined Darche by signing an ama­ teur tryout contract with the AHL's San Antonio Rampage. The Making the Cut star signed with the Florida Panthers' affiliate on March 22, and made his first appearance in a game on Saturday in a 2-1 loss to Grand Rapids. He did not record a point... McGills first AHLer was Pierre Gendron, who joined the Hamilton Bulldogs in 1997 after three years with the Redmen, including one where he tallied 94 points in 38 games. Despite only playing in three AHL games and failing to record a point, Gendron bounced back in the East Coast Hockey League. Last year, with the St-Jean Mission of the Quebec Senior Major Hockey League (renamed the Ligue Nord-Americaine de hockey before tne 2004-05 campaign), he scored 65 points in 48 games, and this season has con­ tributed seven points in four games to the LNAH's Verdun Dragons... Forward Greg Davis, who recorded 104 points in 72 games with the Redmen from 1999-2001 and set a team record with a 28-game point streak, signed with the St. Louis

ev er d o n

..MCGtU. Davis was nominated for an Academy Award in 2005.

OTHER

McGILL

LUMINARIES

Kim St-Pierre may well be the most decorated McGill athlete of all time. The women's hockey star earned a CIS national athlete of the year award in 2003, won an Olympic gold medal in 2002, and a world hockey championship last year.

St-Pierre, 25, graduated with a degree in kinesiology in 2004, played this season with the Quebec Avalanche of the National Women's Hockey League, and is returning to lead the Cànadian team at the worlds, beginning Sunday in Sweden... Former cross-country and track and field star Sarah Ali-Khan is not too shabby herself. She won three Gladys Bean trophies as McGill's out­ standing female athlete while pacing the Martlets from 1998-2003.

Following her stint at McGill, Ali-Khan represented Canada at the worid cross-country championships in Switzerland in 2003, but has by and large remained in Montreal, running for the McGill Olympic Track and Field dub, competing in events at McGill, and staying in close contact with Coach Dennis Barrett. Also of

note is that this past December, AliKhan, 30, became the first McGill athlete—male or female—to be card­ ed by Athletics Canada, which pro­ vides her with a stipend to help offset training costs... Former McGill basket­ ball star Hubert Davis has not contin­ ued in sports; instead, he's turned to filmmaking, and was nominated for an Oscar for best documentary short at this past year's Academy Awards.

The movie, Hardwood concerned the life of his father, Mel Davis, a member of the Harlem Globetrotters. The younger Davis, 29, is living in Toronto, and also edits TV commer­ cials... Last May, Shaunna Burke, a former rugby and ski star for the Martlets, came within 850 vertical metres of becoming just the second Canadian woman to climb Mount Everest before being forced to turn away because of bad conditions at the summit. The 28-year-old, original­ ly from the Eastern Townships, is now studying psychology at the University of Ottawa, and the impetus for her climb was to research the psychology of Everest mountaineers.

Chevrier (left), like Darche, has spent time in the NFL. nine games in 2003 before being released... Meanwhile, in Hamilton, former Redmen lineman John Macdonald was acti­ vated by the Tiger-Cats for parts of the 2004 season, and he recorded six tackles during limited playing time. Macdonald played five seasons for the Red 'n' White before joining the TiCafs in 2003, when he recorded nine tackles, one sack, and one forced fumble... Macdonald was joined on Hamilton's ros­ ter by offensive lineman Jim Merrick, who spent the year on the practice squad. Merrick, a 2002 All-Canadian, landed in Hamilton after being drafted in the fourth round of the 2003 draft by the Saskatchewan Roughriders and then released by the team. Despite not getting into a game last season, Merrick does have good news—he inked a one-year deal (with an option to renew) with Hamilton for the 2005 season... The two oiher former Redmen in the CFL are more established main­ stays. Samir Chahine is a sevenyear veteran who signed with the Ottawa Renegades last season to play on the offensive line after being released by the Stampeders. During his time with the Redmen, he was named a CIS All-Canadian in 1997, which led to his being drafted in the second round of the 1998 Canadian entry draft by the Eskimos. Chahine has also played with the Argos and TigerGats, and will be returning to Ottawa in 2005 to start at right guard... Opposite Chahine last year and again in 2005 is former Redmen teammate Val St. Germain, who will start at left guard after signing a twovear contract extension with the Renegades. St. Germain will be entering his 12th season, having played his first five for Hamilton before moving on to Edmonton and then Ottawa.

During his time in the CFL, he has played over 165 games, recovered four offensive fumbles, and has been named a CFL all-star three times, most recently in 2003.

THANK-YOUS The outgoing sports editors : would like to give a huge thank : you to all of those who contributed j to the section this year. We could­ n't have filled four pages each week without you: Nathan Applebaum, Bryan Arciero, Miriam Aronowicz, David Blye, Robert Church, Kelsea Forzani, Frederic Gauthier, Angela Giannotti, Joseph Gilgoff, Natalie Goldenberg-Fife, Tasha-Gordon Solmon. Ricki Gurwitz, Nicole Haris, Adam Heller, Dany Horovitz, Jonathan Klein, Sam Loeb, Melanie MacDonald, Dan McQuillan, Eric Mutter, Danny Nguyen, Thomas Pagiiarulo, Shelby Parnes, Andrew Patton, Ted Paulus, Nick Rosen, Noah Scheinman, Matt Segal, Elisha Siegel, Cory Sterling, Zenah Surani, and Adam Wadsworth Also, our unrelenting gratitude goes out to our design goddess, Lara Bekhazi, and our information guru and all-around helpful guy, Earl Zukerman, whose contribu­

tions to our section are too numer­ ous to list here.

Special thanks goes out to Robert Dubeau and McGills ath­ letic department for their generous support of the Tribune sport sec­ tion's March Madness pool.

Additionally, congratulations are in order for next year's sports editor, Adam Myers. He'll be fol­ lowing in some pretty large foot­ steps, if we do say so ourselves— but we're extremely confident he'll do a great job.

Finally, we are proud to report that in six months, we man­ aged to run only three articles that were even tangentially related to the NHL lockout. We hope this tra­ dition will continue next year, and for as long as the work stoppage lasts.

Thanks again, Mohit Arora Andrew Segal Sports Editors 2004-05

the mcgill tribune | 31.3.05 | sports ] 5 O F F

THE

B E A T E N

PATH

Squash those stereotypes JAMES SCARFONE hard, left or right, boast or not, and Charming and charismatic. so forth.

Ah, the boast. My weakness.

Alliteration is alive. Especially when speaking of a particular rac- My kryptonite. So few have been quetball sport that many people able to accomplish such a won­ love to chide. Apparently, we fel­ drous shot. So many have gone low squash players are chastised John McEnroe on the tin with their for gaming under conditions sup­ racquet when failing to return one. posedly popularized by those pre­ The concept seems simple enough: tentious fops, Niles and Frasier. ricochet your shot off the side wall Those doubters will rue the day on its way to the front wall, mes­ they met somebody who can skunk merizing your opponent in the process since he so carelessly 'em out of a match.

Squash dates back 170 years anticipates said shot to hit the front with the game's first courts being wall first. For such a compact constructed years later in mid- to court, it's amazing to think how late-19th century England. many possible shots can be made Actually, historical records indicate in any given match.

And, randomness so often that its first matches in Canada were, in fact, played in Montreal. trumps standardization in this game This is something Windsor, Nova of wits.

However, nothing matches the Scotia can't possibly dispute.

Upon discovering the British game's physical tyranny. So the old "rubber" game and its rapid com­ adage goes, "Get fit to play, not monplace distinction in Canada, play to get fit"; that couldn't be any Americans in New England soon truer for squash. Because you're in received their jollies when picking such a tight place, you're forced to up the game. Squash's popularity be quick on your feet and switch subsequently soared across the positions frequently. The cardio workout you end up getting after a world.

What several people fail to five-game match is akin to an hour realize is that squash is an embar­ in spin class. Many times players rassingly mental venture. Kind of are leaving the court drenched in like chess with a rubber ball. Every sweat—the court being so tiny that shot is calculated —by the good you are often receiving your oppo­ players, at least—to land in a cer­ nent's perspiration as well—but tain area on the court so as to out­ also asking for more due to the wit your fellow man. Furthermore, squash's ability to mix things up, your opponent should constantly unlike several other cardio work­ be fooled into thinking his counter­ outs.

I've always admired people part is going to play the ball soft or

E xhilarating and exhausting.

who can stare straight into the dis­ tance for 30 minutes to an hour while peddling an exercise bike, or those who choose to treadmill for the same block of time while per­ haps glaring at CNN's news crawler in the process. What an exhilarating life these drones lead.

But I digress.

Currie gym offers an exquisite experience for students who enjoy the sport as much as I do. With nearly 20 courts to choose from, you have the option of playing in warm or cold courts. The differ­ ence for novices is negligible, but many players prefer the less popu­ lar (at McGill anyway) cold courts because they're bigger, and hard­ er balls are used. It's a very British adventure, some would declare.

Most, however, take the high road and play on the warm courts.

These playing surfaces are newer and not played in as extreme heat, ironically, as the cold courts, which the McGill gym seems uninterested in fixing. Cold courts are generally supposed to be the same tempera­ ture as their name suggests.

To boot, the university's squash players are some of the most competitive in the nation. Ask any of these guys or gals to kill you in a match. You'll be forever grate­ ful for the exercise you'll receive.

Believe you me, you are not going to want to play someone far worse than you at the game; you'll get more exercise watching the crawl on CNN. ■

■j ■ ^^■ 1

N a tio n a l D e fe n ce

D é fen se n a tio n a le

O p tio n s m ak e a ll t h e d iffe re n c e

L es o p tio n s fo n t t o u t e la d iffé re n c e

No m a tte r w h a t y o u r university e d u c a tio n , you c a n enjoy a c a re e r with a d iffe ren c e in th e C a n a d ia n F o rc e s.

P eu im p o rte ia n a tu re d e v o s é tu d e s u n iv ersitaire s, v o u s p o u v ez b é n é fic ie r d ’u n e c a rriè re d ifféren te d a n s le s F o rc e s c a n a d ie n n e s .

• • • • • • • •

E n g in ee rs P h y sio th e rap ists S o cial W orkers P ilots D o cto rs N u rs e s P h a rm a c is ts Naval O fficers

To learn m o re, c o n ta c t u s to d ay .

• In g é n ie u rs • P h y sio th é ra p e u te s • T ravailleurs so cia u x / tra v a ille u s e s s o c ia le s • P ilo tes • M éd e cin s • Infirm iers/ in firm ières • P h a rm a c ie n s / p h a rm a c ie n n e s • O fficiers d e m arin e P our o b te n ir d e p lu s a m p le s re n s e ig n e m e n ts , veuillez c o m m u n iq u e r avec nous d ès a u jo u rd ’hui.

Strong. Proud. Today's Canadian Forces.

Découvrez vos forces dans les Forces canadiennes.

1 8 0 ® 8 5 6 -8 4 8 8

www.forces.gc.ca

League play runs from Monday May 9th to Thursday June 16th Registration begins Monday April 11, 2005, and closes on Monday May 2, 2005 Client Services O ffice - 475 Pine Avenue West

Canada

Room to rent, no view, ugly neighbourhood and wicked guard.

Perfect for the summer.

Cost $250.00 / team Minimum of 1 3 players to register Program is open to 2004-2005 McGill students, staff and alumni Each team is allowed 2 non-McGill affiliated players.

Game days and times: Monday to Thursday 18 :0 0 -2 1:0 0 Locations: Molson Stadium and Forbes Field regular season games and playoffs.

ENTREPOSAGE For more inform ation or to obtain a copy o f a team registration form , visit www.athletics.mcgill.ca or call 398-7011.

D O M E S T IK SELF-STORAGE

THE STORAGE SOLUTION

MONTREAL (Downtown), 255 Shannon tel.: 954-1833

McGill A lu m n i A s s o c ia tio n

McGILL ALUMNI STUDENT ASSOCIATION PROGRAMS www.alumni.mcgill.ca Coffee Breaks / La Pause-Café Need to grad a coffee during your study break? The McGill Alumni Association will be giving away free coffee, fruit, yogurt, and cookies during final exam period to rejuvenate and inspire weary McGill students.

Look for our table at the following times and locations: Thursday, March 31

Mclntrye Medical Building {12:15 pm)

Thursday, April 7th

Macdonald Campus (12:00 pm to 2:00 pm)

Tuesday, April 12

Strathcona Music Building (12:00 pm to 2:00 pm)

Wednesday, April 13

Bishop Mountain Hall (5:00 pm to 7:00 pm)

Thursday, April 14

McLennan Library (10:00 am to 11:00 am; 2:00 pm to 3:00 pm; 5:00 pm to 6:00 pm)

Thursday, April 14

Bronfman (12:00 pm to 1:3Q pm)

Monday, April 18

McLennan Library (10:00 am to 11:00 am; 2:00 pm to 3:00 pm; 5:00 pm to 6:00 pm)

Monday, April 18

New Residence Hall (7:00 pm to 8:30 pm)

Tuesday, April 19

Law Atrium (12:00 pm to 2:00 pm)

Tuesday, April 19

Royal Victoria College (7:00 pm to 9:00 pm)

Wednesday, April 20

McLennan Library (10:00 am to 11:00 am; 2:00 pm

Thursday, April 21

Congratulations on your upcoming graduation from McGill University!

to 3:00 pm; 5:00 pm to 6:00 pm)

Join the McGill Alumni Association at its reception tent immediately following

McConnell Engineering (12:00 pm to 2:00 pm)

your 2005 convocation ceremony for a proper welcome to the alumni family!

Stop by for information about Life After McGill, to purchase your McGill

Please note that food is not served at library locations.

diploma frame, or for a complimentary cup of good cheer!

Students who complete McGill Stay-in-Touch card will be entered to win an iPod. As a new alumnus (na), this is an exciting time in your life L e t ' s C e l e b r a t e !

Class o f Geological Garden 2

0

0

5

The Alumni Association will be congratulating the Class of 2005 on both the downtown and Macdonald campuses.

Join us on the Redpath Museum lawn for the official ground-breaking ceremony of the Class Action graduating class gift project!

The celebration of the Class of 2005 Geological Garden kicks off at the

G R A D U A T IN G CLASS G IF T CLASS OF 2005 - GEOLOGICAL G ARDEN ? McGill

SSMU OAP Lite outdoor festivities on April 29. The McGill Alumni Association will be there to give out complimentary water bottles and caribineers to graduating students - be sure to pick up your McGill memorabilia before you go!

At 2:00 pm, all members of the McGill community are welcome to attend

D O N A TE O N -U N E A T

W W Wa!umnrrnc^.<»/wte»tot.students < * * - C L A S S A C TIO N

the ground-breaking ceremony of the Class of 2005 Geological Garden infront of the Redpath Museum. This project is not only a tremendous gift to the McGill community, but will also serve as testimony to what a class can accomplish working together!

See you then!