The McGill Tribune Vol. 24 Issue 9 by The Tribune

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OPINION: A happy masochist in a mean, mean world

IV lè G ill T r ib u n e Curiosity delivers. Vol. 2 4 Issue 9

A&E: Has hip-hop been defiled by corporate interests?

SPORTS: Watching the Red Sox is a hair-raising adventure. Tuesday, October 26, 2004

P U B L I S H E D BY T H E S T U D E N T S ' S O C I E T Y O F M C G I L L U N I V E R S I T Y

E b a d i o n reform in Iran C o n v e r s in g

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FARAH Q A SEM I Talking to Shirin Ebadi is quite an experi ence. She projects a striking aura of confidence, ambition, and courage that makes every word she speaks genuine and groundbreaking. Not only is she a strong speaker and debater, but there is also a motherly quality about her that makes one want to confide in her immediately. "Shirin*—the Persian word for "sweet"—is often used to describe a person who is extremely kind and affectionate, in a cute yet quirky way. Ebadi could not have been named more appropriately. The Iranian lawyer, human rights activist, and recipient of the 2003 Nobel Peace Prize was in Montreal this month to deliver the Beatty Memorial Lecture during McGill's Homecoming weekend. Although Ebadi was the first female Muslim to receive the Nobel Peace Prize, she is used to breaking down barriers—she was also one of the first Iranian women to be appointed as a judge until the 1979 revolution forced her to step down. After Ebadi received the Peace Prize, how ever, the world took notice. Ebadi was asked to preside over ousted Iraqi dictator Saddam Husseins trial for human rights abuses and war crimes he allegedly committed during his reign in Iraq. She turned down the offer, saying that Hussein should be tried in an international court rather than in US-occupied Iraq. Ebadi now practices law in Iran—a country that attracts the attention of political analysts around the world because of its many political transformations. Power historically shifted between different dynasties, culminating in the rule of Shah

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Mohammad Reza Pahlavi. With the sometimes controversial help of the US he modernized the country according to Western ideals until the Islamic revolution, when the Ayatollah Khomeini returned from exile and took power. Iran remains an Islamic republic in which both hardline and reform Islamists struggle for power. The limits of reform According to the latest statistics, the literacy rate in Iran is 80 per cent—higher than many other countries in the region. It is also one of the world's largest sources of minerals and oil, mak ing it a location of strategic interest to world pow ers. "While we Iranians aren't always 'allowed' to [be] as politically active as we would like, we do have the téndency to overanalyze everything under a political microscope," Ebadi said. "Being politically educated and aware is very helpfulin fact necessary—for the development of a healthy society. However, when you are dealing with a country that has a very high literacy rate, and is composed of a high percentage of politi cally opinionated people, you tend to get varied schools of thought, and uniting all these groups under one umbrella becomes increasingly diffi cult." While Ebadi is known for constantly stand ing up against any Iranian government action she views as undemocratic, she has many critics— mostly Iranians living abroad—who say that by living in Iran and practicing law there, she implic itly accepts the present government and achieves See EBADI, page 4

W ho 'd a thunk it— a Newfie Rhodes scholar! Rex Murphy tells us why education is more than just a means to an end, using really big words and dead poets to illustrate his points. » 8 i 8 * 8M * S

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S T U D E N T NEWS

A tta c k s c e n t r e d o n

A b o rig in a l stu d e n ts to b e t a x e d

n o rth w e st p a r t o f c a m p u s

Tuition m u s t b e c l a i m e d a s o f n e x t y e a r

LISA VARANO

CHRISTINE CULLEN Starting in 2006, the Canadian Revenue Agency will require Aboriginal students to claim their post secondary education funding as income, and they will have to pay taxes on it as a result. According to the CRA, education income does not fall under treaties that protect Aboriginal income from taxa tion. Education income includes tuition and allowances for books and living expenses, as well as scholarships, bur saries, and subsidized travel costs. These costs are often paid by Native communities to make post-sec ondary education accessible to the Aboriginal population, which means that these students do not directly pay for their university education. But start ing next school year, the government will tax all Aboriginal students' educa tional funds, regardless of their source. Ellen Gabriel, director of the First Peoples' House at McGill, said that this decision will place further financial strain on Aboriginal students. "Most Aboriginal students live at the poverty level, even with bursaries," she said. "This will put them at an endangered level." Members of the Ontario Native Education Counselling Association crit icized the new policy on their Web site, arguing that many Aboriginal stu dents already face difficult financial sit uations, and the tax will result in fewer of them attending college or university. Gabriel agreed that the govern ment's decision will have a negative effect on Aboriginal student enrolment. Most Aboriginal students have to work during the school year to be able to afford university, she said, so the deci

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GRACIA JALEA Opponents say Aboriginal students are already under financial strain. sion to tax these students on their edu cation funding will make university too costly for many Aboriginal young peo ple. This is more than an issue of edu cation or taxation, Gabriel said, but one of the government infringing on the rights of the Aboriginal community. "It is part of an evolving assimila tion process to get rid of Aboriginal inherent rights," she said. The decision was supposed to go into effect this school year, but has been delayed for a year to deal with concerns voiced by the Aboriginal communities. Assembly of First Nations Chief Phil Fontaine plans to use the delay to persuade the government to reconsid

er the issue. "Taxing post-secondary educa tion will not serve to enhance educa tional opportunities for our people. Our people are Canada's workforce for tomorrow, and we should be seek ing ways to improve accessibility and opportunity for higher education," he said in an August 9 press release. There has been much opposition to the proposed tax among Aboriginal communities across the country. Student groups at the University of Alberta have organized protests against the decision, and the Ontario Native Education Counselling Association has received more than 7 ,0 0 0 petitions from organizations and communities across Canada. ■

Docteur Penfield that cuts through the northwest part of campus has "opera tional hours and dead hours." Another pedestrian who uses the road daily, U3 Education student François Ares, said he does not worry about walking around downtown at night. "If they're five and I'm one, they can have my money," he said. Savard said that the muggings are similar to a string of incidents last year, when gang members attacked 1 1 people in the McGill Ghetto. By contrast, the muggings this year, which have taken place west of campus, tar get students and apparently are not

McGill Security is advising stu dents to take precautions after six mug gings took place in as many weeks on avenue Docteur Penfield between rues Peel and McTavish. Louise Savard, manager of Security Services, said that McGill was prompted to e-mail students a safety warning following the most recent attacks on October 17. "We are concerned because the muggings are occurring more frequent ly," she said. "On that night, there were three." The incidents all occurred between 9:00pm and 2:30am . I f t h e y ' r e f i v e a n d I ' m o n e , Savard said that only one of the victims, t h e y c a n h a v e m y m o n e y . ' all of whom were walk ing alone, was female. gang-related. A press release issued Thursday iden The warning McGill sent out tified the victims as four McGill stu advises students to avoid walking dents, one professor, and a graduate alone at night and encourages them to who was using the Nahum Gelber use Walksafe, a student-run service law library. that is part of the McGill Security In two cases, Savard said, the Network. blunt end of a revolver was used to hit "Overall... [requests have] gone the victims. up dramatically since last year," said "[The suspects] are young... Walksafe Ombudsperson Kristina [and] English-speaking," she said. Dee. "I can't say [it's] necessarily "They approach the people and ask [been] because of the muggings." them for money or cigarettes. That's Dee attributed the greater use of what's been common in all the cases." Walksafe to the service's increased McGill Security has stationed a publicity since classes began in foot patrol in the area. Montreal September. police have also increased their pres "Because of the recent reports, ence by having plain-clothes police we've been sending our walkers to the officers monitor the area. corner of Penfield and McTavish more Camilla Leigh, director of devel frequently just to keep an eye on opment for the Faculty of Arts, walks things," she said. ■ along the street where the muggings have taken place every day. W alksafe volunteers will a ccom "There's no residential [buildings] p a n y anyone, anyw here in M o n trea l around here," she said. "It's an easy Hours are Sun day to W ed n esd a y from site to do something without mucn 8pm to 12am a n d Thursday to attention." Saturday from 8pm to 2am . C a ll 398Leigh noted that the stretch of 2 4 9 8 or 1-877-W ALKSAFE.

S P E A K E R S ON C A M P U S

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JAMES GOTOWIEC Much talked-about architect Daniel Libeskind delivered the second annual David J. Azrieli Lecture in Architecture to a standing-room-only crowd of students and faculty from eight different universities. With the success of his Jewish Museum in Berlin and the Imperial W ar Museum in Manchester, England, Libeskind has suddenly become one of the most sought-after and controversial figures in the architecture community. During the lecture, he addressed some of the criticism his work has received, but spoke mostly about his past and current projects, including the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto and the World Trade Center redevelop ment in New York City. "One often thinks of architecture as simply a means to an end, but in fact architecture is more like a story telling profession instead of a technical one," he said.

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Libeskind told the audience that he has never believed in "neutralized architecture" that is meant to take no point of view and be nondescript.

DAVE B R O D K EY

Not just concrete.

"It is certainly true that for a long time, maybe for a hundred years or longer, architecture has been prac ticed as just an intellectual art," he

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said. "But it is, like all the great arts, also reaching the depths of the emo tion, of the spirit." The presentation covered many of Libeskind's famous works and he discussed the design process and dis tinguishing features of each of them, ending with the ROM and W TC proj ects. He told the audience that he entered the competition for the ROM renovation with a simple sketch on a napkin, based on the crystals in the museum's collection, and forgot about it soon afterward. "When I won the competition, I panicked," he said, "because I said, 'How can I ever make a building that looks like that sketch?"' Libeskind finished with an overview of his largest project, the W TC. Calling it a "most complex proj ect," he said that the W TC requires an enormous balancing act among all the interests involved, including the devel opers, other architects, politicians,

D A N IEL -L IB E S K IN D .C O M

Conceptual rendering of the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto. and the families of victims. "What this project demands is... a memorial that is not just a memorial, but a memory—not just of the date, but what it means," Libeskind said. He quickly added, however, that the proj ect was not about "creating some art with some office buildings, but to real ly shape a new neighbourhood." David Covo, director of the McGill School of Architecture, said the

lecture was a unique opportunity for students just starting in the field. "The idea [of the Azrieli Lectures]," he said, "is to bring the most distinguished international repre sentatives of the profession," and raise the level of discourse in the field. "For [the students] to be able to be almost on an equal footing with a figure like this... what an opportunity," he said. ■

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JULIA SHONFIELD Shriners must be desperate if they're considering moving to London.

)AY PALEJA Delays by the Quebec govern ment in creating a "superhospital" may cost Montreal and the McGill University Health Centre the Shriners Hospital for Children. The Shriners are considering a site next to the new superhospital, as well as sites in Ottawa and London, Ontario, on which to build a new $ 1 0 0 -million paediatric orthopaedic facility. Their current facility on avenue Cedar has become too small for the hospital and must be replaced. Earlier this month Quebec Treasury Board President Monique Jérôme-Forget announced that delays are necessary to negotiate a publicprivate partnership in which the $ 1 . 1 billion MUHC superhospital and its French-language equivalent, the Université de Montréal superhospital, would be built by private interests and then leased back to the province for 30 years. The process is designed to ensure that the hospitals will be built on budget, but it could take up to four years to negotiate—one year to work out an agreement and choose a con tractor, plus two to three years to nego tiate a contract and work out other details. The continuing delay in the super hospital construction has repercussions for McGill and its medical program. Dr. Sarkis Meterissian, director of the general surgery residency program at

the M UHC, said that if a new MUHC hospital is not built, or if the current one is not renovated, the lack of staff and facilities will discourage prospec tive students from enrolling. He added that the lack of new facilities may also affect research and McGill's ranking as one of the top research universities in the country. "[The loss of Shriners] is a tremen dous blow to kids in Quebec and our program. There will be no more spe cialized training in orthopaedics and plastic surgery... [which is] the reason some residents choose us over [the University of] Toronto," he said. "Staff will be tempted to leave because they cannot practice medicine of the 2 1 st century." In order to reassure the Shriners of their commitment, Quebec Health Minister Phillippe Couillard and Premier Jean Charest have voiced their support for the project and have said construction could begin in the spring of 20 06. Shiners Hospital spokesperson Daniel Taillefer said further delays could force Shriners to leave the province. "We're backed up against Mont Royal and we're literally between a rock and a hard place," he said. "[A new location is] an ongoing con cern... Any delays would concern the selection." The Shriners still have to visit other potential sites, and were unable to provide an exact decision date. ■

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E bad h 'A b a n d o n in g th e ballot is not th e solution'

D aily e d ito rs p ro h ib ite d fro m c a m p a ig n in g

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Continued from cover little in improving the future of her fellow countrymen and -women. Ebadi answers these critics by say ing they do not understand that she does not support “yet another revolution," and that she is, in fact, a supporter of a "reformed Iran." "If citizens don't participate in the running of the government of their state, it's similar to them leaving their houses and keeping the doors open for foreigners to come and loot their belongings," she said. By staying in Iran and doing every thing within her power to improve the sit uation, Ebadi said, she is working to "reform Iran from within. "Democracy can't be achieved overnight," she said. "It's little steps like the gradual amendment of social culture for the better that results in the ultimate cre ation of social democracy." In 1998, Ebadi personally organ ized the funeral of 1 1year-old Arian Golshani in a well-known Tehran mosque to attract international media attention to the case. Golshani died as a result of physical abuse by her stepfather, whom she had had no choice but to live with because of an Iranian law that awards children of divorce to the father regardless of circumstances. The law was amended thanks to Ebadi's efforts. Reconciling religion and politics Ebadi was returning to Iran from a Paris conference last October when she was informed of her Nobel prize at Charles de Gaulle airport. Convinced that a close friend or family member was

FARAH QASEMI Ebadi was the First female Muslim to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. playing a prank, she disregarded the news until she received a call from a Norwegian friend who was part of the team that awarded her the 2001 Rafto Foundation for Human Rights Award. The Norwegian Nobel Committee awards the Peace Prize in an attempt to accelerate the advancement of democra cy and human rights. Ebadi explained that by bestowing the 2003 award to an Iranian Muslim activist, the Nobel Committee was trying

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to break the many barriers that have formed between Islamic countries and the outside world. "Due to the ignorance of certain Muslim extremists who would use their interpretation of Islam as an excuse to practice their undemocratic w ays... Islam started to be viewed as the religion of aggression and terror," she said. "While no terrorist crimes carried out by people from other backgrounds were blamed on the individual's religion or race, Islam started becoming the easy target, espe cially after 9/1 1." She argued that this view need not be the case. "[Islam] can be updated and can in fact be a very modern religion," said Ebadi, who wears a hijab while in Iran but usually appears in a black pantsuit and gold brooch when speaking abroad. "We don't have to keep on practicing old traditions that were common in Islamic states centuries ago, and were mostly based on wrong interpretations of Islam." To her, the right to vote must be val ued and upheld. "Every adult should take an active, intelligent part in the electoral process," said Ebadi, who strongly encourages people to vote, especially since many sig nificant elections are set to take place in the near future. She is frequently heard saying that no matter how much one disagrees with the electoral system of a country, "aban doning the ballot is not the solution." Despite her political prominence, however, Ebadi said she would never consider running in the upcoming Iranian presidential election. "Are yoù kidding me?" she said. "I'd never make that dooming mistake." ■

S e e k in g ju stice C a n a d ia n d e a th

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oncordia University student Stephan Hachemi has devoted himself to uncovering the circumstances sur rounding his mothers suspicious death while in Iranian custody in July 2003. Zahra Kazemi, an Iranian-Canadian pho tojournalist, died in an Iranian prison while being held on charges of spying after she took pictures of a protest outside the Evin prison in the capital of Tehran. Large posters surrounding the prison worn passersby that photography of the area is for bidden and punishable by arrest. Iranian officials have provided conflicting reasons for Kazemi's death. The first was stroke, later, the Iranian govern ment changed the official report to state that Kazemi died as a result of being beaten. The Iranian security agent charged with the attack was acquitted. Iran has yet to charge anyone else with the crime. "She really didn't work to sell her pictures," said Hachemi, a 27-year-old film student. "She just did it because she was pas sionate about it." Kazemi raised her son as a single mother after Hachemis father left them when their son was a year old. Hachemi spent his childhood in France while Kazemi obtained a doctorate in film studies. In 1993 they moved to Canada, where Kazemi worked for the National Film Board. She did not become a pro fessional photographer until 1995. Kazemi's travels took her all over the world, but especially to Middle Eastern countries includ ing Israel, Afghanistan, Jordan, Syria, and Iraq. Nobel Peace Prize winner Shirin Ebadi is one of many lawyers working on the Kazemi case, pressuring the Iranian government to further investigate the details of her death and bring those responsible to justice. “Journalists are provided with a certain amount of legal security that wasn't provided to Kazemi,” Ebadi said. Hachemi also has Canadian lawyers working for him on a pro bono basis. The Canadian legal team plans to take the case to the International Court of Justice. "Another option could be to fife a civil suit in Canada

COURTESY OF STEPHAN HACHEMI

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JEN N IFER JETT Students who are actively involved in the Daily Publications Society or its two publications may not campaign in the upcom ing referendum, the Students' Society Judicial Board ruled over the weekend. Next month, students will vote on two conflicting referen dum questions regarding the DPS, which publishes the M c G ill D aily and Le Délit, a weekly French-language newspaper. Three former SSMU execu tives and current DPS members submitted a question asking stu dents whether, as members of the DPS, they should be able to opt out of the mandatory Daily fee of $5 per semester. In response, members of the DPS Board of Directors submitted another question asking students to affirm the Society's financial autonomy from SSMU. D aily Coordinating Editor Daniel Cohen and fellow DPS board member Marie-Eve Clavet had asked the J-Board to sus pend or re-interpret three elec toral by-laws that prohibit mem bers of the campus media to use their positions to campaign. Two articles in particular explicitly prohibit editors of stu dent media organizations from joining "yes" or "no" committees or using their positions to influ ence a campaign. At the J-Board hearing on Saturday, the advocate for Cohen and Clavet argued that the by-laws in question are unfair to Daily editors because they prohibit members of the editorial board from campaigning in a referendum that directly affects them. "The spirit of a fair cam paign is sort of lacking here," said advocate Howard Kislowicz. Instead, J-Board members upheld Chief Returning Officer Andrew Carvajal's interpretation of the bydaws. "I'm glad that they thought we were acting diligently and impartially," C arvajal said, "because we tried to accommo

date as many people's point of view on the issue as we could, and read all of the documents and cases that were pertinent to this issue." The DPS board respects and will abide by the decision, Cohen said. According to Elections McGill, Daily editors and con tributors may endorse positions and ask questions during elec tion debates. "We recognize that the DPS has an editorial freedom to write as much as they want about this issue—as reporters though, not as individuals cam paigning," Carvajal said. D aily editors may not, how ever, sit on "yes" or "no" commit tees, or publish articles using phrases such as "our referen dum" or "our side." In addition, students cam paigning on behalf of the Daily may not use the publication's office, computers, or other resources. W hile Elections McGill's guidelines concerning the con tent of the D aily are clear, Cohen said, the extent to which he and DPS board members may cam paign outside the pages of the D a ily remains uncertain. Specifically, the J-Board ruling did not address whether gradu ate students like Clavet, who are members of the DPS but not SSMU, may campaign for a SSMU referendum, and whether Cohen may participate in public debate. Elections McGill is responsi ble for enforcing all electoral by laws. Although the student-run organization has additional equipment this year, including a digital camera and video cam era, Carvajal said he and the elections commissioners will also rely on complaints from students regarding campaign violations. "At least this year, w ell ensure that we listen to both sides before making a decision," he said. The campaign period begins today and continues until the start of official polling on November 1. ■

Iranian-Canadian photojoumafist Zahra Kazemi died while on a photography tour of the Middle East. against the government of Iran. However, this option could have its obstacles due to Sovereign Immunity acts. "I've met with peo ple like William Samson who are fighting to amend [it]," Hachemi said. Hachemi, who is currently working full time on his mother's case, credited the support of Iranians all over the world as one of his biggest sources of motivation. "I didn't grow up with Iranians," he said. "Things have taken new turns since I started working on my mother's case, but Iranians have gone out of their way to help me out." On Ebadi's recent Montreal visit, Hachemi asked her what exactly Iranians are doing to support Kazemi's case. "Iranian people have been deeply touched by Zahra jZibo) Kazemi's death," she said. "However, they do know that justice is hard to achieve in this case. If this case is closed with out a satisfactory verdict, it will remain in the minds of the Iranian public and the countries of the world forever." Hachemis movie "Ziba,” based on his mother's life, is scheduled for release next year. * —Farah Q asem i

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BEHII FELDMAN Late-night library-dwellers shouldn't be the only ones who get to appreciate the beauty, calm, and fear of assault on lower campus.

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Canadian journalist Rex Murphy: "Education is not an acquisition." D A R Y L W IL E Canadian writer and journalist Rex Murphy criticized the commodifica tion of education Friday when he addressed faculty, students, and the public about the changing nature of university education. Murphy, a contributor to CBC-TV's The N ational and host of the weekly radio program C ro ss C ountry C heckup, is renowned for his quick wit, which he exercised early in his speech. "I do work at C B C Radio, so I'm not used to an audience," he said. The prohibitive cost of education and the fast-paced nature of modern living have turned universities into purely functional institutions, Murphy said. "W e think that attending a univer sity... is merely something we do to add something to us, to acquire a cer tificate." The problem is compounded when jobs are in short supply, Murphy said, and students feel pressured to fin ish their degrees and begin working. "But education is not an acquisi tion, it is not a thing... linked to a job," he said. Tying education to the. immediate needs of society is dangerous, Murphy cautioned: "It drains the life out of what this experience is." The media is partly to blame, he

S S M U

said. Technology, electronics, and vast amounts of information "have created such an avalanche of data, circum stance, and distraction... the har monies of human nature that require time, ease, and reflection are them selves displaced." Some students found irony in Murphys philosophical speech. "His use of rhetoric numbs the mind in a similar w a y that TV and media do," said Nick W a rd , U4 Political Science and International Development Studies, "but it's nice when public intellectuals get [their mes sage] out there." Also present at the lecture w as' Dean of Education Dr. Roger Slee, who said that faculty administrators would reflect on Murphy's message as they prepare their strategic plan. "It's interesting to see the dean of Education talk about some of that ideal ism In the context of what w e actually do here at M cG ill," said Nathan Wilkinson, B.A. '01. Describing education as a liberat ing force, Murphy called on students and educators to celebrate the process of learning and its uses in understand ing the world around them rather than its tangible benefits. "This world is narcotic," he said. "It numbs and it deadens. Education may be the edge you can put against it." ■

B R I E F S

Financial foresight funds four months The Students' Society can no longer rely on the university for finan cial assistance during the low-income summer months. For the past three years, SSM U has requested and received an advance on its fall student fees to cover summer expenses of $ 3 5 0 ,0 0 0 to $ 4 0 0 ,0 0 0 . The univer sity, which collects student fees on SSMU's behalf, has said it can no longer afford to issue these advances. "They claim that they must bor row the money from somewhere to give it to us, because they don't receive the money [from student fees] until September," said SSM U VicePresident Operations Anthony Di Carlo. "This was supposed to be a one-time thing when it was first pro posed three summers ago... but then w e [became] dependent on it." This year's SSM U budget, which Di Carlo presented at Thursday's council meeting, contains a $ 1 5 0 ,0 0 0 restriction, less than half

the money necessary for summer expenses. The difference will be made up through internal accounting adjustments, Di Carlo said, with the possibility of taking out a loan as a last resort. Di Carlo said the $ 1 5 0 ,0 0 0 that has been set aside was not divert ed from student activities, but rather is partly the result of increased projected revenues from Gert's Pub, Sadie's Tabagie, and the new Savoir Fare catering operation. The restriction was also made possible by increased enrolment— meaning the SSM U base fee of $ 3 4 .9 0 per semester raised an additional $ 5 0 ,0 0 0 this year. SSM U is cultivating the liquid cash reserve in part to avoid having to propose a fee for summer students. "You can introduce a summer stu dent fee to assist us in reducing that $ 4 0 0 ,0 0 0 , but there's no w ay that just a summer student fee alone would be able to cover that," Di Carlo said. "W e want the onus to be on us, and not the students to pay." ■ —Jennifer Jett

Are you fascinated by the biomedical sciences? We are. The 1RCM is pleased to offer talented students the opportunity to work towards their master's or doctoral degree or to complete a postdoctoral internship in a stimulating and challenging environment Our researchers have earned distinction in a number of disciplines, such as molecular medicine and genomic sciences. We offer excellent financial assistance programs. Several scholarships are available, including some sponsored by a Canadian Institutes of Health Research (CiHR) training grant in cancer research. The IRCM, one of the country’s most prestigious institutions, is experiencing substantial growth as we are doubling our research activities in the coming years. If you wish to join our dynamic team, find out more about our multidisciplinary training programs at www.ircm.qc.ca

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news | 2 6 .1 0 .0 4 | the mcgill tribune

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Soleil bought the preserved bun and exact replica of the hot dog that was in it, while the actual wiener is being pre served separately. • Conservative commentator Ann Coulter was giving a speech at the University of Arizona in Tuscon when two men hurled pies at her. They were later arrested, which just goes to show that the right to free speech applies to what you say and not what you throw. • A 54-year-old woman | l p c fp f in Douglasville, Georgia broke into another woman's home, moved herself, her dog, a washer, and a dryer into it and redeco rated the entire house while the owner was on vacation. She even ïê W n ripped out the carpets, changed the photographs around the house, U *U * and switched the name on the electricity bills, and is now in police cus , p t t t tody. • M en w ho weigh too much or too little are more likely to have poor sperm quality than men with healthy body-mass indices, according Si C i * to a study published in the American Society for Reproductive Medicine's M H “ journal, Fertility a n d Sterility. • To get out of taking an ancient Greek test, !$C V four teenagers in Milan, Italy flooded their high school by turning on the taps and blocking the drains. They caused an estimated 5 0 0 ,0 0 0 euros p m worth of dam age by letting the water run over the weekend. Before you consider getting out of your physiology midterm in a similar way, you 4 V O should know that they qre being held by police and may be charged "with vandalism, breaking and entering, arid disrupting a public service, s • According to an article in the September 25 issue or the Economist, : sales of Halloween masks depicting US presidential candidates have K 'v I I accurately predicted the pasf six election outcomes. N o , it will not *433 •% change the results of the election if you go out and buy 7 4 2 masks g if p } | . of your preferred candidate. Encourage your friends to get out and * * vote, instead. • A former NFL kicker for the Oakland Raiders, C ole Ford, is being charged with a drive-by shooting at the home of infamous tiger-tamers Siegfried and Roy. • An t i j i f j% Australian woman has rented a billboard in a bustling part of Sydney to advertise for a husband. The advertisement will i<ot H i m g m be up for a month, and encourages only men w ho are

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more TV than other Canadians The poll also found that Québécois read and exercise less.

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^*44 i t t U 4 serious to send her an e-mail. • According to a recent i , poll conducted by Léger Marketing, Québécois resHV91* I* idents work fewer hours, sleep longer, and watch | lC IjM s t

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n their w a y out of a late class at Peterson Hall on W ednesday, three American stu dents were discussing attitudes toward their home country. "Anti-Americanism — its kind of comical," said Shelby Parnes, U3 Political Science and Economics, one of about 3 0 students w ho have come to M cG ill from her N e w York City high school. Strong opinions toward Americans do not seem to have prevented her from following the annual fall migration north. "In some ways, Americans deserve it," said Richard, U 3 Political Science, w ho came to M cG ill from Cleveland partly "to study poli sci without an American bias... It's kind of embarrass ing being American." U3 Economics and Art History student Elli Karagiorgas, also from N e w York, shrugs off the anti-American comments she occasionally hears. "I expected it," she said. "W hen I decided to come to C anad a, my high school teacher warned me about it." Despite the teasing, criticism, and homesick ness they face, more American students are flock ing to M cG ill today than they have over the last few decades. US enrolment at M cG ill rose seven per cent from 2 0 0 2 to 2 0 0 3 and Americans now comprise 8 .7 per cent of undergraduates and.6.1 per cent of all students. They are by far the largest group of international students at M c G ill— 33 per cent of all foreign students and 5 3 per cent of all undergraduate foreign students are from the US. Director of Admissions Kim Bartlett attributed this trend to increased application rates from US high schools in addition to an intense recruitment drive and "increased popularity of M c G ill University as the study destination of choice for many US high school students. "Admission to M cG ill is merit-based and the underlying principle is to admit the best students from everywhere in the world," Bartlett said. "Yield [i.e ., offers of admissions versus the number of stu dents w ho actually register] may vary from year to year. For September 2 0 0 4 , the yield of US high school students was higher than predicted." M any students originating from the US, how ever, are not necessarily American-born and bred. "I'm surprised by the number of Americans that are actually Canadian," said Sinead Keegan, a W elcom e Centre tour guide. She said that many expatriate Canadians will return from US colleges where they played hockey and that many socalled "Americans" have one parent w ho is Canadian.

Another reason is M cG ills proximity to the US. Although specific numbers were unavailable, a majority of American students at M cG ill reside within a six-hour drive of Montreal, often in the Boston or N e w York areas. However, southern California, Arizona, and Texas also produce a generous share of M cG ill students. Montreal's "European atmosphere" also ranks high among prospective students. "You get to see the world from a different per spective," said Eric W elch, a high-school student from Dallas taking a campus tour. However, the principal attraction is likely the cost. W h ile M cG ill charges $ 1 2 ,2 8 9 in tuition and fees for international Arts undergraduate stu dents, just above the Canadian average of $ 1 1 ,9 0 3 , annual tuition at private liberal arts insti tutions in the US can easily amount to four times that much. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, a US government agency, both public and private university tuition is rising at about five per cent per year, compared to 3 .9 per cent in C a na d a , according to a recent University of C a lga ry report. Jeffrey Genser is the father of a N e w York high school student w ho is considering M cG ill. Currently unemployed, Genser was impressed not only with M cGill's foreign flavour and cosmopoli tanism, but also its accessibility. "It's still better financially for me than sending [my daughter] to a $ 4 5 ,0 0 0 [a year] school," he said. "Without aid, this is something I can afford.” Jackie Genser said that she wants to come to M cG ill because it is in C a nada. "If Bush is elected, I definitely want to come here," she said. Despite all the advantages, the thought of coming to M cG ill has yet to occur to many American students. Welch's friends in Texas know nothing about Canadian schools. W hen he told them about his plans to move north, they laughed. "W h o a , why? It's cold up there," was their reaction, he said. Back at Peterson Hall, Parnes, Richard, and Karagiorgas exchanged stories and laughed about how their friends bother them for studying outside the US. "W h y 'd you go to school in C anada?" they whined in imitation. All agreed that it is not worth taking the time to explain. In spite of the push factors— occasional antiAmericanism and distance from home— young Americans continue to flow north, escaping the challenges of rising domestic tuition and political volatility. Welch's reason is simple. "You've got to give some things a try." ■

the mcgill tribune | 2 6 .1 0 .0 4 | news N E W S

B R I E F S

Second time's a charm for former bank C EO Board of Governors member and former Royal Bank chief execu tive officer John Cleghorn will receive an honourary degree on Thursday, four years after he was denied the honour. ’ In 2 0 0 0 the university Senate's Honourary Degrees and Convocations committee reversed its decision to aw ard Cleghorn a degree after a student senator leaked his can didacy to campus media. Cleghorn's

reserve," said Biosphere Director Martin Lechowicz. "The flipping is a complicated process that has not hap pened yet. It's being done by the Nature Conservatory of C an a d a , an organization that buys and protects green space in C a n a d a and acts as an expert intermediary for acquiring land for conservation services." M ore than 5 5 0 research papers and 13 0 M cG ill theses have already been based on work conducted at the reserve, which also does community outreach with local residents to pro mote the protection of green space and sustainable landscape. —Kevin Afshari

Former McGill administrator loses suit

nomination met with opposition con cerning the Royal Bank's recent mass layoffs and possible involvement in the student debt crisis. Public figures and university donors under consideration for an honourary degree are rarely rejected. Students' Society Vice-President University Affairs and acting President Andrew Bryan, a member of the com mittee, said Cleghorn has made valu able contributions to the university. "He has been a long-standing member of the Board of Governors and has helped [M cG ill] in a variety of ways," he said. —M ikelis Steprans

Former director of admissions Peggy Ann Sheppard has lost her $ 1 .6-million lawsuit against M cG ill. Sheppard, w h o w as director from 1972 to 1 9 8 6 , accused the uni versity of retaliatory dismissal for her refusal to accept students w ho did not meet M cG ill admissions standards. Superior Court Judge Michèle Monast dismissed Sheppard's suit on O ctober 12, ruling that there is no proof that M cG ill acted in bad faith toward Sheppard or that she was wrongly dismissed. The decision ends nine years of legal wrangling and leaves Sheppard responsible for M cGill's legal costs.

T>Bubt*twhat? BubbleTea Stupid! H a v e n 't y o u h e a r d ? It's the exotic refreshing Asian beverage that has taken North America by storm. f

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Exotic flavours such as Mango... Honeydew... Watermelon and Taro, combined with a hpâ£ of Tapioca Balls. Your taste buds will develop a memory for Bubble Tea.

BUBBLETEA Only a t G ert’s.

(McGill Daily, Mar. 10, 2003)

Opt Out 0

C oiffure P

Flipping the green M cGill's pavilion at the Gault Nature Reserve on M ont St.-Hilaire reopened on September 2 0 following renovations paid for by community partners. The Gault estate, which many student groups use for retreats, needed $ 3 7 0 ,0 0 0 to pa y for improvements. The pavilion itself is used for office space and for pro grams for conservationists and senior citizens. At the same time that the pavilion is expanding, so too is the property. Organizers raised $ 4 8 0 ,0 0 0 in the last year to buy 16 properties around the edge of the nature centre at Mont St-Hilaire, which will be "flipped" over to M cG ill in the near future. "They're basically raising money to protect green space at the

Fee Review

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Associate VP Communications Jennifer Robinson Associate Vice-Principal Communications Jennifer Robinson said that M cG ill was pleased with the court's decision and that it represent ed a "complete vindication for M cG ill and put an end to a difficult legal saga." Sheppard declined to comment. —Charlton Rutledge Dwight

Special price for students with 1.1).: Shampooing, Cut and Blowdry

$14‘ Business H oars: Mon: 8 :0 0 a m to 3 :0 0 p m T u es to Fri: 8 :0 0 a m to 6:0 0 p m Saturday: 8 :0 0 a m to 3 :0 0 p m

R E S ID E N C Y

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AUS admissions proposal fails A motion to create an Arts admissions advisory committee failed at the Faculty of Arts Committee meet ing last Tuesday. Arts Undergraduate Society VicePresident Academ ic Zach Finkelstein proposed the creation of the Arts Committee on Admissions Advising, a small group comprised of four A U S representatives, four professors and Associate Dean of Student Affairs Enrica Quaroni. The A C A A 's objec tives would include examining solu tions to Arts overenrolment in the shortand long-term and providing student and faculty input into future Arts admissions policies. Citing a desire for a "laser focus" on the issue of overenrolment in Arts, Finkelstein said students could provide recommendations in time for the next round of admissions. The Faculty of Arts requested that the university accept 1 ,6 0 0 new stu dents this year, but unexpectedly high yield rates resulted in a new enrol ment of 1 ,7 4 2 . • —M e g a n Briggs

“Democracy, after all, is all about choice.”

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Bandit named Buck File this under the "stupid crimi nals" category. A m'an w alked into Sadie's Tabagie on M o nday afternoon, claim ing to be delivering several cartons of cigarettes and demanding to be paid $ 2 4 0 from the cash register. The man, described as in his late twenties, was wearing an imitation gold chain with a dollar sign hanging from it. "This guy comes in... and he's speaking a mile a minute," said Cheehan Leung, w ho was manning Sadie's at the time. The man— w ho had no ciga rettes with him— told Leung that he had already spoken with the Sadie's manager. W h en Leung hesitated, the man left and returned with an "invoice" scribbled on the back of a "Sadie's Suggestions" sheet. The invoice included a fake phone num ber and was signed "Buck." Leung suggested that the man retrieve the cigarettes while he called his manager. By the time Sadie's M anager Linda G rey-N o ble arrived, the man was gone. "It's just one of those things that's like, w ho would think that would actu ally work?" she said. —Jennifer Jett

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F A L L E L E C T IO N S

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FIR ST YEAR COMMITTEE OF COUNCIL CANDIDATES Accomplishments: International Brainstorming Champions in Dildo, New Foundland (South of St. Johns); Best 80's aerobic duo voted by Starsearch 1999; we once spent 23 days 4 hours and 58 minutes chasing a blue frog from Vancouver to Iqualuit; we've met alt of you (literally) at our foreplay party. Yet to accomplish: Steal Concordia's mascot, abuse it and send it to Michael Moore; throw a party so amazing that couldn't possibly be remembered due to excessive amount of alcohol; set the world record for the biggest human pyramid; make sure we all get free things, alcohol... and laid.

C h r is to p h e r S u lliv a n P r e s id e n t

I would love to be VP Communications for SSMU's first year committee, because it sounds like an awesome way to get involved at McGill. It's easy for first year students to be passed over in McGill's enor mous student population, but this would be a way for me to represent them and their specif ic needs and goals.

My name is Jenn Johnson and I want to be your 2004-05 VP external. Raised in Oakville, Ontario, Mcgitl attracted me because of its amazing reputa tion and unbeatable location. Spending the next 4 years here is going to be incredible, and I want to start us off right. After heading up community projects in my hometown. I'd like to bring my leadership, enthusi asm and creativity here and make them work for you. Getting all our first-year voices heard within the university community is my goat, and I hope you'll make it yours by voting for me! Thanks, et merci.

I am a UO Arts student studying Russian and Political Science. Like any undergrad, I like to party. But I know when to get serious and work. I take any responsibility very seriously, and you can expect me to work hard for you if elected as President of FYCC.

Hey there fellow first year stu dents! My name is Fady; I'm from Montreal and majoring in Mining Engineering. As you probably know, the first-year of studies here at McGill is the most important and decisive for alt of us since we have to adapt and succeed at a different aca demic and social setting. Should I be elected for the position of VP Communications, I will make sure to voice all of your concerns to the Committee. I'm also very fond of Alternative/rock music, and philosophy. Hope you are suc ceeding and enjoying your first year here at McGill! Your U1 buddy.

I, David Poon, am a Texan Hong Konger who stepped foot for the first time in Canada this past August to come to McGill. Don't be put off by the Texan part; I assure you that I will be an efficient and effective Vice President (Communications) this year. This position is to keep each and every one of you in the know (including those residing off campus), and I will take it upon myself to even strap on a tutu and do an interpretive dance across lower field if it meant that you'd be better informed. VOTE FOR POON!

In kindergarten, one day, I was told to paint. I hated painting, and refused. I got a note sent home. It was trouble. Thirteen years later, I still can't paint. But I found other forms of art I like - I write, and I'm really into music. So what? We can find alternatives even to policies that seem as rigid as kindergarten teachers' com mands. As VP External of FYCC, I will carry the fresh views of first-year Students to those who have set the status quo. Let's work together to make our mark on McGill.

A c c la im e d

Accomplishments: International Brainstorming Champions in Ditdo, New Foundland (South of St Johns); Best 80's aerobic duo voted by Starsearch 1999; we once spent 23 days 4 hours and 58 minutes chasing a blue frog from Vancouver to Iquatuit; we've met all of you (literally) at our foreplay party. Yet to accomplish: Steal Concordia's mascot abuse it and send it to Michael Moore; throw a party so amazing that couldn't possibly be remem bered due to excessive amount of alcohol; set the world record for the biggest human pyramid; make sure we all get free things, alcohol... and laid.

R a c h e l S t u lb e r g V P F in a n c e

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STUDENTS' SOCIETY OF McGILL UNIVERSITY REFERENDA Students' Society of McGill University Base Fee

Sexual Assault Centre of McGill Students' Society Fee

WHEREAS the Students' Society of McGill University (SSMU) collects a base membership fee of $ 3 4 .9 0 from all of its members in order to carry out its

WHEREAS students have chosen to fund the Sexual Assault Centre of McGill

missions of service, representation and leadership; WHEREAS the SSMU has significantly expanded its services since 1992, including introducing the SSMU Daycare, providing infrastructure for over 150 clubs and 14 services, improving accessibility to the William Shatner University Centre, and providing a variety of food options; WHEREAS the SSMU has also significantly expanded the scope upon which it represents McGill students since 1992, including active participation in lobby groups at both the provincial and federal levels to fight for access to education; WHEREAS the real value of the SSMU base fee has declined by approximately $6 .3 7 due to inflation since 1992, and will continue to do so,

Students' Society (SAC0MSS) since 1994; WHEREAS the fee is subject to renewal every three years; WHEREAS SAC0MSS continues to provide essential services to the McGill and Montreal communities; WHEREAS this funding is essential to maintain the quality of service provided by SACOMSS; Do you agree to pay $ 0 .7 5 per sem ester (W inter 2 0 0 5 to Fall 2 0 0 7 inclusive) to fund th e Sexual Assault Centre of McGill Students' Society (SACOMSS)? YES / NO

WHEREAS the SSMU makes a concerted and sustained effort to generate revenues from sources other than student fees; WHEREAS the SSMU Council has decided to eliminate the $ 3 .0 0 per semester fee for the SSMU Daycare due to successful application for a Quebec government subsidy, so the proposed adjustment to the SSMU base fee would not increase the total amount of fees currently paid by McGill undergraduate students; Do you agree to adjust the SSMU base fee to compensate for inflation by increasing it by $ 3 .0 0 per student per semester starting in the Winter 2005 semester and then pegging it to inflation as measured by the Consumer Price Index every year thereafter? YES / NO YES COMMITTEE: The SSMU plays a vital role at McGill, providing essential student services like a daycare. Players' Theatre, Walksafe, and over 100 clubs; representing students to the McGill administration and all levels of government; and offering opportunities for students to be leaders. This means the SSMU needs students' financial contributions. Since 19 9 2 , the $ 3 4 .9 0 Base Fee (very low on Canadian standards) has lost $6.37 in real value due to inflation. This proposal solves this with a $ 3 .0 0 Base Fee increase, to be pegged to inflation in the future. This will NOT increase student fees— the $ 3 .0 0 Daycare Fee will be abolished.

YES COMMITTEE: SACOMSS is the Sexual Assault Centre of McGill's Student Society. Student funding is what keeps this centre alive and running. Sexual assault is an issue that can affect everyone; SACOMSS is here to sup port survivors of sexual assault without question and without judgment. SACOMSS offers a variety of important services, all of which are free of charge: a) a telephone helpline b) support groups c) a community outreach program d) an accompaniment service e) a walk-in service with a library and resources. Please vote YES to continue funding SACOMSS. You make all of this happen with only 75<t per semester.

A NO COMMITTEE was not formed

Daily Publication Society Financial Autonomy WHEREAS SSMU is the legitimate representative body for all McGill undergraduate students; WHEREAS the Daily Publications Society (DPS) publishes the student newspapers known as THE MCGILL DAILY and LE DELIT FRANÇAIS (The Daily and Le Délit); WHEREAS THE MCGILL DAILY has been published and been an integral part of the McGill University student life since 1911 and LE DELIT has been published since 1977;

A NO COMMITTEE was n ot formed

McGill Daily Fee Opt-out WHEREAS all members of the Students’ Society of McGill (SSMU), the accredited representative body of all undergraduate students, are members of the Daily Publication Society (DPS); WHEREAS Article 16 .1 2 (e) of the DPS Constitution does not allow its members to question the reduction or elimination of membership or fees; WHEREAS McGill University collects the "McGill Daily” fee (currently $ 5 .0 0 per semester) on behalf of the DPS from all undergraduate

WHEREAS a referendum of members of the DPS, namely undergraduate and graduate students from the downtown campus, approved the collections of fees for its operating expenses and the support of its activities; WHEREAS The Daily Publications Society is an independent body independent from SSMU, the PGSS and other student societies; WHEREAS SSMU respects the political and legal autonomy of the Daily Publications Society and its constitution, which permits every member of the McGill student body to a) vote an at annual or special general meeting of the DPS, b) to contribute to the Daily or Délit, to become a staff member and editor of the Daily or Délit, and c) to have any non-racist, non-sexist, non-homophobic or non-libellous letter under 300 words in length published in the Daily or Délit;

Do you agree th at the choice to opt-out from the "McGill Daily” fee for a full refund be available to all members of the SSMU and th at this fee be eli gible for review in four ( 4) years through an undergraduate students refer

Should SSMU resp ect and recognize th e financial autonom y of th e DPS, which is provided by a mandatory fe e , which perm its i t to practice quality journalism in English and in French- publishing three tim es a week- w ithout fe a r of repercussion from advertisers, th e University adm inistration, student so cieties an d /o r th eir politicians in or out of

endum?

o ffice?

YES / NO

YES COMMITTEE: Would you appreciate a choice? Would next year's stu dents want the option? Would you like an opt-out and review of the 'McGill Daily' fee? While "the job of a citizen is to keep his mouth open,” the strongest message we demand is to LEAD BY EXAMPLE. Understanding that every dollar of student money counts, the Daily advocated for opt-outs in the past. Yet, their own fee remains mandatory for all undergraduates. Ultimately, who opts out is not the issue but rather why we choose to stay. Strengthen the Daily Publication Society. VOTE and make CHOICE yours.

YES COMMITTEE: Support the autonomy of our campus' free press by voting Yes. Since 19 8 1 , we have been editorially and politically autonomous from SSMU, thanks to the fee every student pays. To continue holding SSMU to account on your behalf, we must remain free from interference from student politicians. As members of the Daily Publication Society, you have a cata logue of rights. We ask you to address any concerns you may have to us directly. We're an open organization committed not just to making you laugh, but also to serious debate free from intimidation.

A NO COMMITTEE was n ot formed

A NO COMMITTEE was not formed

students;

opinion

F r a n c e w ith o u t f r e e d o m D iv id e d

"B e s a fe " m e a n s " b e sm a rt" 'I'm very brave generally," he went on in a low voice: "only today I happen to have a headache." — Tweedledum in Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking-Glass

n Thursday, the Office of the Dean of Students, in conjunction with M cG ill Security Services, sent a mass e-mail to members of the M cGill community to alert us to a string of muggings that have occurred on avenue Docteur Penfield between rues Peel and McTavish in recent weeks. Last year, 1 1 people reported similar crimes just up the road— between rues McTavish and University, but the perpetrators were caught. W hile the incidents in question are not neces sarily representative of campus life in general, the common location is cause for concern. W hy, in a city that reported only 8 5 2 incidents of violent crime in 2 0 0 2 , is a little stretch of sidewalk the site of so many such attacks? Is it because the area is isolat ed or because of the nature of those who frequent the area? Are w e unwittingly attracting such crimes? Being aw ay from home for the first time makes many among us mistake independence for inde structibility. Just because we are taking on the responsibilities that come with adulthood, we feel as though w e are invincible, completely disregarding the fact that violent crimes can happen to anyone and at any time. The notion that only women are targets is not only an outdated idea, it is also a misleading one. Out of the six reported incidents, five of the victims were male. Walking your female friend home may keep her safe, but it does not mean you will not get attacked on your w ay back. W eapons have a w ay of breaking down gender barriers and a slight, fivefoot woman is no different from a tall, well-built, bearded male when staring down the barrel of a gun. W hile w e need to realize w e are not invinci ble, it is also true that we are very safe in Montreal, especially in comparison with other cities. Universitywide paranoia is not going to help anything, and it is highly unnecessary. Then again, we cannot ignore the fact that these attacks all took place right on campus. Not only is that area isolated, it is also an area crossed mostly by students and the occasional faculty mem ber or administrator. Three of the attacks happened on the same night— it does not take sophisticated defective work to figure out that students and faculty are targets.

W e can all say what w e want about bursaries and tuition freezes, but the fact remains w e are priv ileged with enough wealth and intelligence to study at M cGill, and w e are arrogant enough to think laws of probability do not apply to us. "It can't happen to me," says the iPod-toting, brand-name-sneaker-wearing, 80bucks-in-mywallet guy. "It won't be me," says the professor as he tucks his laptop computer under his arm and leaves the office. "Not me, either," says the woman wearing diamond earrings as she manoeuvres 16 textbooks around a conversation on her expensive cellphone. It might. The reality is when people see an iPod, they see money. W hen people see a cellphone, they see money. W hen people see a laptop, they see money. These might be items you had to convince your parents are absolutely crucial to your achieving a 4 .0 GPA, but someone who needs money right this second does not care how many months of whining, negotiating, and blackmailing it took to get your parents to buy you designer winter boots. Another thing people see when they spot an mp3 player or a cellphone: inattentiveness, some one who is oblivious to whatever is going on around them. W e have all experienced that momen tary scare that comes when w e realize we almost walked into traffic because we were too busy argu ing with our mothers on our phones to notice the red light. If w e can lose sight of what is going on right in front of us, we can certainly fail to notice if some one comes up from behind. Just because the walk home is an everyday, tedious occurrence, it is not the right time to catch up on the latest gossip, peruse a new book, or get lost in a good song. This is not an enormous sacrifice or a major adjustment. This is too easy. W e can all stop think ing w e are untouchable. W e can all take the longer routes home if they are busier and better lit, w e can all pay attention to our surroundings and put aw ay the expensive toys, and w e can all enter the Walksafe number into our expensive cellphones. After all, there are countless so-called isolated areas in Montreal, and crime rates have continuous ly declined in recent years. W e need to admit that the incidents are unusually concentrated in this area and smarten up. ■

b y

la w

b u t

u n it e d

a n g e r

_________ U S E T R E U T IE R

s human beings together in the Western world, w e have created organizations to help oppressed societies. W e have made great advances to overcome our own racisms and have participated in raising the status of women over a century of feminist waves. W e have even legalized g a y marriage in many places. Yet despite our many open and accepting world ideals, w e have not yet managed to fully embrace total religious acceptance. At M cG ill, w e see this in the Muslim Students' Associations being barred from their prayer space. Across the Atlantic, however, there is a much larger, country-wide issue, where students in France are being expelled simply for wearing "overt" religious symbols, whether a Muslim headscarf or a Christian cross. Supposedly, this is for the ultimate goal of having a secular education system. Sure. Fine. Whatever. Since 1905, France has been a secular state, where religion is kept a private matter. Though originally positive— allowing all citizens to prac tice their own religion without fear of discrimination— the law has now been taken too far. In December 2 0 0 3 , French President Jacques Chirac proposed the law now passed: no student in a state school is allowed to attend class es wearing any overt religious symbol. The banned list includes Islamic headscarves on women, the Jewish yarmulke, Christian crosses and the Sikh turban. Since school began in September, the number of controver sies and cases of students being sent home— or first being quarantined for the day in "study hall" — have risen and become more severe. For example, for wearing a beret to cover her hair, one Muslim girl was sent home and advised to continue her studies through a correspon dence course. Fed up, she had her parents shave her head in protest. She is now allowed to attend classes since her school's administration decid ed that baldness is not a religious symbol, but she is far more self-con scious on the streets as a bald girl than she was as a Muslim girl with a headscarf. For protesting students, school has become either a prison or a court room. They hire lawyers to fight for their cause. Different arguments arise in these debates; Sikh men in particular claim that because their turban is not a distinctly religious symbol, but a cultural one, they should be permit ted. Others argue that France's forcing Muslim women to abandon their headscarves is just as oppressive as the fundamentalist regimes enforcing them. In France, Muslims are free to practice their religion any w a y they choose— w hy not let them? The French government claims that this law will create equality between students in the classroom. Sorry, but a necklace bearing a gold cross does not give a student higher or lower status than one with a head scarf or one without displayed religious affiliation. Forbidding students to practice their religion will not create unity; it will create hostile segregation as students band together within their own religious backgrounds out of desperation for community. If Frances secular ideal is meant to leave religious practice as a pri vate matter, shouldn't students be able to decide for themselves whether or not they wish to display their religious affiliation? The government cannot separate church and state, and still pass laws concerning religion. This contradiction ultimately violates human rights and turns France into the fun damentalist society the government is supposedly trying to avoid. ■

.. - .................

Call me a bitch, just don't call me boring BRODY BROWN T

hough they've been erecting the new music building for over a year now, I've yet to receive any hoots and hollers from anyone affiliated with this work-in-progress happening less than 2 0 yards from my front door. I've tried low-cut, high-cut, backless, topless, long hair, short cuts, scruffy and unshaven, flashy and conservative, bitch boots and low-tops. Please, I must have looked worthy at least one of those days. Aren't construc tion sites supposed to be a mecca for perverts and loud-mouths? I thought the only place more dependable for objectification is a dock swarming with fresh-off-the-boat sailors— and since I rarely leave Aylmer, I've got a lot invested in this site. Thus, I relish almost any bone tossed my w a y from any strangers anywhere in the night or day. And true, while compli ments are always welcome, insults can be oh-so-more-thrilling as they require the caller put a little cattiness into their work. Unsure how one really makes that stranger feel wretched and vulnera ble? A few notes for the amateur. Lesson O ne: Calling me "queer" or a "fag" does not merit any points for creativity nor does it really generate any shock value. Yoo-hoo honey, I know I’m gay, and if the weather's warm enough to leave my heavier layers at home, chances are the people across the street can spot my "true colours" too. Besides, activists have totally reclaimed that lingo. Leave these with classic comic book barbs

like "doofus" and "jerk" that are more aptly bandied about by Archie and Reggie. Lesson Two: Two years ago, I worked as a receptionist at an office with a very volatile producer. O n e day, when I tired of giving her free phone therapy and opted to actually answer incoming calls, she burst out of her office and painted the halls with a colourful ode to my "tacky bitchiness." Combining two flaws in one insult is impressive, as was the harpyesque screech with which the epithet was delivered. But tacky and bitchy? Those adjectives are practically my middle names, right after "moody" and just before “passive-aggressive." Though perhaps suitable for others, it's not an insult if the intended recipient is proud of the quality and/or it's a truth he's embraced. After my coeditor and I wrote articles about a fictitious smoking club last year, one persistent letter writer slammed us for "undermining the name that is M cG ill University." Unfortunately, the idea that w e could put any dent into our institutions pristine reputation with a satirical spread gave us huge hard-ons and days of squealing like butchered piglets. That shit is funny, not insulting. The blue-ribbon barbs are those that may not even be vulgar or really creative. The prime zingers are those that are shocking because the one who's on

the receiving end fears it actually is true, but is afraid to admit it. Insults that are completely unfounded and slanderous are equal ly outrageous. "Baby-diddler" is a pretty surefire insult, unless you re attacking a proud pedo. "Worthless cripple" is also gen erally insulting, provided the insultee doesn't walk with a limp hes proud of and picking cheques up from the government is the only reason he gets up off the couch. N o w that you've all been properly schooled in tearing each other down, I'll leave you with one final example. O ne night, while crawling home from a bar in Los Angeles's gay ghet to, my friend and I walked behind a big girl in a horizontalstriped sweater and her two friends. A car of greasy straight guys pulled up and started to pull the girl apart for being a 'fat cow " and the lil' miss was definitely not feeling the love. So my sassy companion turned to the car and started screaming "fuck ing faggots!" Picture the shock on the faces of these wannabes when the captain of the queers, prancing down the street of queerville, starts publicly calling to question the sexualities of these macho meatheads. It provided much fodder for our enjoy ment as w e skipped home and bombarded each vehicle that tried to brand us "fudgepackers” or "ladies" with similar names. Savvy faggots— one point. Unenlightened breeders— nil. Class dismissed. ■

The

the mcgill tribune j 2 6 .1 0 .0 4 | opinion 1 ]

Deconstructing the facade

IV Ic G ill T r ib u n e Curiosity delivers. Editor-in-C hief

Natalie Fletcher editor@tribune.mcgill.ca Managing Editors

Katherine Fugler James Scarfone seniored@tribune.mcgill.ca News Editors

Jennifer Jett Laura Saba Lisa Varano tribnews@tribune.mcgill.ca Features E ditors

Liz Allemang Brody Brown features@tribune.mcgill.ca A&E Editors

Daniel Chodos Lise Treutler arts@tribune.mcgill.ca

A g e o p o lit ic a l flair fo r t h e d r a m a t ic BRETT SCHREWE brett.schrewe@mail. mcgill. ca

early four years after a Supreme Court gavel brought George W . Bush to power, all signs point to another photo finish between the donkey and the elephant. The last time the presidential Polaroids of the political play were exposed, the developers elected to ignore Chekhov's concept of the camera— that which objectively captures the truth within a slice of life— and instead went with a literal interpretation of verisimilitude— the appearance of truth, believing that acting presidential was equal to being presi dential. Just as this philosophy helped to raise the cur tain on The Presidency of George II, so too has it underscored the continued development of the plot. The world has witnessed two countries invad ed, international treaties on weapons and ecology broken, deficits ballooned to sizes larger than the economic equivalent of the Hindenburg, and all supposedly done in the name of global security and peace. As drama has evolved in the last century, the audience has become a major player. However, while the performers freely recognize the audi ence, they do so at their discretion, not the vievA ers'. Likewise, the Bush administration has main tained throughout its escapades that it recognizes and respects the will of the voters, whose presence

makes the political show possible. The apparent support has taken a myriad of forms, from the coalition of the willing to America's working fami lies. In an ironic twist and response to this patronization, the global audience has outpaced its play house counterpart and is no longer playing by the house rules. The jeers of an increasingly uncivil civil society are no longer reserved for their histori cal turn at the curtain call but are beginning to dis rupt the performance. The effect is logical: the heavyhanded poli cies of the American government since 2001 have created a perfect backdrop to the massive disen franchisement of the global citizenry. W hile American actions have been incarnated as the but terfly effect par excellence throughout a world of over six billion, only 1 10 million people voted in Decision 2 0 0 0 , an election decided by 5 3 7 votes and certified by a majority of one. W hen humans perceive a loss of control and self-determi nation— on both personal and political levels— increasingly drastic measures are undertaken to restore the balance, regardless of whether it hap pens within or without the current mainstream sys tem. Admittedly, the American juggernaut is not fully to blame for this marginalization, but it has provided a fertile soil in which to sow discontent. Therefore, as voices throughout Earth have gone

S a m e -s e x m a r r ia g e isn't t h e n e w in terracial m a r r ia g e

Radically respectable

Sports Editors

Mohit Arora Andrew Segal sports@tribune.mcgill.ca Photo Editors

unheard, ignored, or silenced in the halls of Washington, they are speaking wherever they can receive the attention they deserve, and different streams of an alternative movement are beginning to flow into each other. There are seven more days until the climax of the election epic, when Mr. Bush either assumes the guise of a Henry IV— a Shakespearean hero who wrongly took the throne for the betterment of England— and receives his own part two, or is resigned to the fate of Richard III, a usurper who meets his political end at the hands of those whose sense of virtue has been grievously wounded. M any who desire peace and work for justice have feared the former dénouement, worrying that the elephant will continue to stampede through the del icate undergrowth through 2 0 0 8 . Paradoxically, though, the actions undertaken to ensure geopolit ical advantage have largely backfired, not only giving birth to an alternative model of global democracy and equality but a focus around which to coalesce. Thus, as European social democrats are brought into a new alliance with marginalized Brazilian coffee farmers, Nigerian oil activists, and Indian crop preservationists, a Bush victory just might be the catalyst that dethrones the system that entrenched him. ■

K IM D 'S O U Z A

kim .dsouza@m ail.m cgill.ca

Yasemin Emory Iwona Link photo@tribune.mcgill.ca

I 've watched with interest over the last year as an

C opy Editor

Sam Goffman sam.goffman@mail.mcgill.ca Design Editors

Lara Bekhazi Benji Feldman Fteather Kitty Mak design@tribune.mcgill.ca O nline Editor

Lynne Ftsu online@tribune.mcgill.ca A dvertising Manager

Paul Slachta advmgr@ssmu.mcgill.ca A d T ypesetter

Shawn Lazare Publisher

Chad Ronalds C ollaborators Kevin Afshari, Eric Alper, Matthew Arnot, Rachel Bâcher, Dave Barber, Andrew Bauer, Megan Briggs, Dave Brodkey , Adam Conter, Simone Cruickshank, Christine Cullen, Kim D'Souza, Charlton Dwight, Vladimir Eremin, Patrick Fok, Frederic Gauthier, Natalie Goldenberg-Fife, James Gotowiec, Dave Hitchner, Gracia Jalea, Seema Jethalal, Catherine Lemery, Melanie MacDonald, Cristina Markham, R. Scott Mclsaac Dan McQuillan, Devin Montgomery, Jeremy Morris, ja y Paleja, Julie Peters, Sid Pharasi, Melissa Price, Farah Qasemi, Dustin Raab, Scott Sameroff, Clara Schwarz, Brett Schrewe, Julia Schonfield, Matt Segal, Elisha Siegel, Mikelis Steprans, Azadeh Tamjeedi, M arc Tessier, Sepand Tehrani, Daryl W ile

T ribune O ffices Editorial. Shatner University Centre, Suite 110, 3480 McTavish, Montreal Q C Tel: 514.398.6789 Fax. 514.398.1750 Advertising. Brown Student Building, Suite 1200, 3600 McTavish, Montreal Q C H3A 1Y2 Tel. 514.398.6806 Fax. 514.398.7490

increasingly vocal number of African-Americans such as Shelby Steele, a race-relations scholar at Stanford University, have criticized same-sex mar riage advocates for "exploiting the moral capital of the civil rights movement." Drawing analogies between current struggles and historic battles against racism is hardly unique to the same-sex marriage issue. In an age when almost everything is a shade of grey and few things are as indisputably evil as racism, such par allels are a favourite tactic of ethical crusaders of every stripe. Thus, for example, when Animal Liberation author Peter Singer says "speciesism," he isn't oblivious to the powerful sentiments of injus tice the word summons by drawing parallels to racism. However, when activists get carried away, this sort of thing becomes problematic. Overly enthusiastic about using such parallels to incite moral outrage, they forget that exploiting flawed analogies is hardly the best w ay to win lasting moral victories. So why does the same-sex marriage analogy in particular receive such criticism? The answer, I think, is that the insidiousness of this flawed analo g y warrants the special attention to make sure it is retired from active debate. A bit of background: Laws prohibiting "inter

marriage between Negroes or persons of colour and Caucasians" existed in a number of American states until recently. Some were repealed in the early 1900s, but several were still in force until the US Supreme Court in 1 9 6 7 declared them uncon stitutional. Confusingly, such laws are sometimes called "anti-miscegenation laws" and sometimes "miscegenation laws" — miscegenation being a word that means "mixing of races." Same-sex marriage advocates frequently quote repudiations of miscegenation laws such as political philosopher Hannah Arendt's 1 9 5 9 article on civil rights in which she wrote, "The right to marry whoever one wishes is an elementary human right compared to which [all other civil and political rights] are minor indeed." Such statements are then reinterpreted in favour of same-sex mar riage, excluding a priori the notion of the oppositesex. Disingenuously, this presupposes what it claims to conclude— that opposite-sex-ness is irrele vant. Hidden by our feelings of moral outrage, the circularity of the argument goes unnoticed. Anti-miscegenation laws do not challenge the definition of marriage. In fact, by saying that inter marriage is forbidden, the drafters of the laws explicitly recognized that interracial marriages are indeed marriages, albeit marriages that they want ed to forbid. The miscegenation laws admitted that

Not really discrimination... ^ le t t e r s

c 3 ■O •«•

Your editorial |A questionable sense of human rights— 1 9 .1 0 .0 4 ) trivializes a deplorable but permissible act by the McGill administration in its immediate recourse to the dramatic claim of a human rights viola tion. The shrill language makes the laudable message that much easier to ignore. W hat is being rescinded is access to university space that other religious groups did not benefit from. As such, there is no discrimination per se, regardless of the implication of religion and culture. Yet, the relatively unique prayer require ments of Islam create different needs for Muslim students and while M cGill need not grant space, it certainly should. Especially if M cGill wants to maintain its reputation as a bastion of diversity, as per the recent Princeton Review— M cGill went so far as to publish that recognition in its student, alumni,

they imposed an external constraint which is total ly irrelevant to what marriage is. They were rightly overturned because it was clear that the prohibition denied legal marriage to interracial couples, despite their meeting all the definitional criteria of marriage. This was a restric tion based on bigotry against the race of one of the partners. O n the other hand, the advocates of same-sex marriage are faced with the assertion that marriage is by definition between a man and a woman, rather than any admission that this is an external restriction based on homophobia or any other kind of prejudice. Still can't believe there might be something more to it than bigotry? A better analogy to the same-sex marriage case might be the fact that mar riage is prohibited between siblings. It's not because we're biased against one sibling, or both siblings, or siblings in general, but because we intuitively believe that this is the w ay marriage is. I know it's imperfect, but at least the analogy does n't work by a circular sleight of hand. The difference between interracial marriage and same-sex marriage— and this is far from triv ial— is that samesex marriage changes the very definition of marriage that some civil rights advo cates argue should be preserved in its purity and not encumbered with external restrictions.*

and press office W e b sites. This act by the administration clearly repudiates that ambi tion. —AAatthew Keen, Law III

G o t

h o t

p a d ?

Elisha only dates CÉGEP girls I was just one of the many people deeply disturbed by Elisha Siegel's column "Sex and Sensitivity" (1 3 .1 0 .0 4 ], At first I felt totally objectified and worthless as a female. Then I talked to some friends (both female and male— since some males can talk to a girl and not think about the colour of her underwear) and we realized that Mr. Siegel is simply an immature boy, who clearly has no sexual experience. So, to the author, I wish him the best of luck, because after that article, I don't think a girl is going to come within a mile of him. I know I wouldn't. —Kimberly M oser, 114 HisDanic Studies

W a n n a p im p it o u t in F e a tu re s a n d b ra g a b o u t it? N o b it c h , w e a r e n o t h e lp in g y o u s e ll y o u r p a d . E - m a il f e a t u r e s @ t r i b u n e .m c g i l l .c a

] 2 opinion [ 2 6 .1 0 .0 4 | the mcgill tribune

T h e D ose

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S tic k in ' it t o t h e m a n

elis ia.siegel@mail. mcgill. ca

E L I S H A S IE G E L

W e ask today: where is the US headed and where have its leaders gone? W h a t example is our leadership showing? W here are Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Rice, Cheney, and so many others? W here are they now that w e, as a nation, with their counsel, sent young men off to fight in an unjust war? These are the commanders that have deserted their honour, integrity, and country. And there is no more serious crime. The Army says it never leaves its wounded. The Marines say they never even leave their dead. These men have left all the casualties and retreated behind a shield of arrogance and loud rectitude. They cannot escape their record— for the consequences of their actions are inescapable. W e see them every day on our televisions, read about them in our newspapers, and hear them in our conversations and thoughts. W e only wish those consequences were but a figment of our minds— false and fleeting. W e only wish that a merciful G o d could wipe a w ay our memories of the images w e see as a consequence of w ar as easily as this administration has forgotten the meaning of patriotism. Patriotism is about something bigger than ourselves — it is about fighting to defend our values. But all it has done and all that it can do is hide behind a veil of false morality. And so w e make it our mission: to call our people to arms to destroy an administration that seeks to undermine American values; to pacify our own hearts; to conquer the hate and fear that have been used to divide our country and others. So when our veterans go down the street 2 0 years from now without a leg, an arm, or a face, and our children ask why, w e will be able to say “Iraq," and nçt mean the thought of using fear to w edge one against another, not a filthy obscene memory, but mean instead where America and Americans realized that to be a country united, w e must be a just and righteous people. W here are the leaders of our country? Running— running from a record of failure and deceit. W e ask today that w e hold our leaders accountable so that they can no longer run from their records. Hold this administration accountable for its blunders. A man w ho has shown courage and convic tion can do just that— let him be the leader fighting for a brighter America. ■ Eric A lp er is a U1 M an agem en t student a n d is a member o f the M c G ill chapter o f Democrats A b ro a d .

/ o B iib b le B u b b le

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H a v e n 't y o u

1 1 | | § I | 1 I 1 1 1 I 1 1 | 1 | 1 1 1 1 J 1 1 | I | 1 I 1 | 1 I I | 1 1 | 1 | J |

I love stickin'

it to the man. I listen to loud music while throwing my middle finger in the air. I steal candy bars from W al-M art and drink free trade coffee. I've hated every politician since Bubba and I don't trust anyone in the media. I'm a firm believer in conspiracy theories and every year I threaten not to pay my taxes. But at the end of the day, I still shop at the GAP, I study in the ivory tower, and I buy into gender stereotypes by always wearing pants. It's what they want us to do, you know. Also, I'm thankful to M S N for making communication fun again because talking had become such a bore. B TW , am I the only one who misses the Backstreet Boys? jk. loi. Do I sound confused? It's no wonder. I was raised in a haze of counterculture, brought up on a steady diet of brown bread, Grateful Dead shows, and "Free To Be You and M e ." M y par ents are card-carrying members of the revolution that never was. They would look back fondly on the Summer of Love, if they could remember it. If you can believe it, they actually bought tickets to Woodstock, the suckers. M y dad will tell you that he and the rest of

the middle class revolutionaries created real change in the world. They protested a foreign w ar that had nothing to do with our interests, they revolted against the imposed conformity of the dominant culture, and they encouraged breaking the bounds of respectable behaviour. Today, w e protest an unfair war, battle against corporate-imposed conformity, and the F C C wants to ban all violent and lewd pro gramming on TV between the hours of 8am and 10pm, including fighting in hockey. The more things change, right? W e at M cG ill are often the subject of criti cism for our collective apathy. W e don't vote in our own Students' Society elections. W e don't recycle. W e could care less about tuition hikes and corporate takeovers. W e don't even care about the rights of the Enxet people of the Gran C h aco region whose rights are trampled on daily by the Paraguayan government. And yet, M cG ill is a bastion of liberal thought and left leaning fashionistas. Don't believe me? Ask a room full of students whom they support in the upcoming US presidential election. G o on, I dare ya.

But I want to know, what happened to the revolution? Weren't the baby boomers onto something when they hailed the dawning of the A g e of Aquarius? Didn't John Lennon have a generation of young Bagists imagining "all the people living life in peace?" I demand to know— where have all the flowers gone? I guess the party had to end at some point. The bums lost. They cut their hair and started Internet companies. So where does that leave us, the group the idiots call "Generation Y"? Today it takes more than just nice dreads and a sack of weed to be countercultural. W ith so many crosscutting iden tities, it doesn't really matter what you look like anymore, but what you believe in. I don't wear red. I don't put my fist in the air. I don't drop acid. But I believe in a better world, and I think most of the people around me do, too. It's just that w e figured something out that our parents didn't. W e 've learned that you can be a Louis Vuitton don and a revolutionary at the same time. W e 're still sticking it to the man, but we make it look good. ■

N e u ro tic a

Midnight mediocrity madness C R IS T IN A M A R K H A M

very night around nine o'clock, Sana (aka the Roomie) and I start getting ready for bed, complaining bitterly about late nights and 8:30am classes. Unfortunately, our lack of willpower and love of late nights tend to keep us up just a bit past our idealistic lights-out times. But somehow, Sana always manages to get to bed before me— just as she's about to turn off the TV and end our Letterman-induced trance, I'll take the remote out for one last spin around the channels, "just to see if anything worth watching is on." Inevitably, I'll recognize the opening credits to She S p ies, or stumble into an Ashley Madison infomercial. W ith newfound energy, I exclaim, "O h man, this is the worst show ever! Com e on, let's watch it!" Unfortunately, Sana's common sense usual

ly gets the best of her, and I am left to enjoy my drivel alone. As I listen to the poorly-written, innuendo-laden dialogue, I w onder if I'm the only one w ho truly appreciates the menial things in life. The counter-intuitiveness of my love of bad TV shows, music, and movies is understandably confusing to some... but believe me, it makes perfect sense. The scale upon which most peo ple judge these shows is linear, with "good" at one end, and "horrible, unbearable crap" at the other. M y scale, however, is circular, which means that if something surpasses the maximum level of awfulness, it circles around into "awe some." This it's-so-bad-it's-good mentality allows me to eke out previously hidden enjoyment from

the films of Pauly Shore or the music of Britney Spears. Adopting this scale can turn Sunday afternoons from an endless misery of infomercial hell into a thrilling adventure with Chef Tony— finally, someone w ho shares my love of minia ture food processors! You skeptics can ignore me and continue your linear, productive lifestyles... but while you're wasting your time listening to the enlight ened or moody music that brings you to a high er plateau of consciousness, I am having much more fun. Perhaps for you it's Ella Fitzgerald or Aretha Franklin, but for me it's Britney serenad ing me with such heart-wrenching lyrics as, "Her M O 's changed/She don't wanna behave/Ain't it good to be a brave girl tonight." ■

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Advertise your event! For only a toonie, you can get a listing in the print and on-line editions of the Trib. Drop by the S S M U Office (Brown Student Building, Suite 1200) to pick up a form. Deadlines are Fridays at 3:3 0 p m . For more information, e-mail caiendar@fribune.mcgitl.ca

il ye boys and ghouls rejoice! Introducing a special spooky spread that will have you # l $ h a k i n g in your Superman costume. The word "Halloween" itself actually has its origins in the Catholic Church tradition of "All Hallows Day," on November 1. Around the 5th century BC, Celts in Ireland believed that all laws of space and time were sus pended during Halloween, allowing the spirit world to intermingle with that of the living. To keep the disembodied spirits of all those who died dur ing the preceding year from possessing them, the villagers would dress in eerie costumes and be as destructive as possible to keep evil spirits away. Over time, the Romans adopted the Celtic practices as their own, and dressing up as witches and gob lins took on a ceremonial role. Trick-or-treating most likely came from A ll Souls Day, a day on which early Christians went from town to town beg ging for "soul cakes," made from bread and cur rants. The more "soul cakes" one received, the more he or she would pray for the dead relatives of

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IS S U E BENJI F E L D M A N / M A N IK IN CLUB

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Halloween IS S U E

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wRfe a r S e l f - i n f l i c t e d r e ig n s o f t e r r o r

NATALIE FLETCHER S

ince its premiere in 1973, The Exorcist has grossed over $255-m ill ion on video and ticket sales. Tarantulas lay up to 1 ,0 0 0 eggs in every sac. And the boogeyman continues his one-man act in chil dren's closets everywhere. W e enjoy fear. So long as we're the ones holding the leash, fear is like a trained puppy, a source of safe, control lable entertainment that comes complete with the very real though unlikely chance that it might bite back. Against all rea son, domesticating fear has become one of our favourite pas times.

and mysterious: the O ld English "fear” simply meant sudden calamity. It was not until 12 9 0 that fear came to denote that feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the imminence of danger. Years later, Darwin argued that fear was a survival mechanism prompted when a perceived danger, whether real or imagined, triggered the release of adrenaline into the bloodstream, preparing the body to either fight off or avoid its threat. Whether acute— fear of snakes— or chronic— paranoia and anxiety— fear was believed to speed up breathing, quick en the heartbeat, and cause blood sugar to engorge muscles. The assumption was that our experience of a feared object caused us to physically react against it, giving us the neces sary impetus to save ourselves.

"Scaring ourselves has peaked in the 20th century," says Marina Warner, author of N o G o the Bogeym an. "W e stir up fear for its own sake." And it works.

Yet the fight-or-flight. response only takes us so far. "It can not be assumed that people are always able, or even willing, to recognize and then describe the experience of fear," explained Stanley Rachman in his pioneer book The M ea nin g s o f Fear (Penguin, 1974).

The anatomy of fear

As our modern twist on fear shows, it has become much more of a psychological than a physiological experience, one that is not always genuine or observable. "Fear is not something that can necessarily be instilled by scientists," explains Robert Butterworth, a psychologist at Los Angeles's International Trauma Associates. "Instead, it tends to be generated by whatever rears its ugly head and shouts loud est."

O ve r the past century, many accounts of fear have sur faced, offering new, complex reasons for our infatuation with scaring ourselves. Social scientists have studied the evolution of this unusual habit, from our Neanderthal predecessors' ten dency to cast shadows on cave walls to frighten each other, to the ever-popular trend of singing disturbing lullabies like "Rock a bye baby" to scare children into sleep. Originally, though, fear had little to do with the irrational

W e can successfully think ourselves into a total panic sim ply by entertaining negative thoughts; w e can be afraid while still maintaining complete composure; w e can experience fear without even acknowledging it. Briefly put, to the extent that w e can generate fear, w e can also tame it.

EREMIN

Getting off on all things scary Fear has come to be understood not only as an instinct but as an emotion, one that is usually negative and socially undesirable. Admissions of fear are seen as signs of mental instability that are to be discouraged in social contexts, notably in times of war. As a result, in the name of courage and decency, we have learned to face and manage our fears so as to not be victimized by them. W e often g o so far as to invoke fear just to prove our ability to get over it. "Emotion has replaced instinct as a major risk-assessment tool for modern humans," says Robert Roy Britt, a senior sci ence writer at w w w .sp a ce .co m . O ur desire to toy with fear by consciously provoking it is an interesting anomaly. Is fear really fear at all if there is only the illusion of danger and risk? Playing games with our fears means w e maintain the upper hand by readily making our selves vulnerable to the idea of something scary. O u r thoughts provoke reactions that stimuli ordinarily would. Fear with no real object is usually called horror, that feel

ing of dread that occurs just before something frightening is experienced and before the feeling of terror kicks in. In other words, feelings of horror are what make us dread the exis tence of monsters under our bed; feelings of terror are what would keep us in perma-shock if one were to ever actually appear. W hen provoked with the right kind of imagery or cir cumstance, our imagination creates cliffhangers. Its human nature to want a thrill and being scared is one of the key thrills in a person's emotional range. Roller coasters, haunted houses, American fast food... all of it exists because w e like to scare ourselves," asserts videogame producer Hiroyuki Kobayashi, who describes his latest creation, Resident Evil 4 , as a "game where you can enjoy being scared out of your wits while still being able to fight back." The idea of being both scared and untouchable has a long history. Gothic novels like Bram Stoker's Dracula and M a ry Wollstonecraft Shelley's Frankenstein thrived on the grotesque, the mysterious, and the desolate. Romantic art works like Fuseli's The Nightmare revealed the individual's experiences with emotion and imagination, transcending rea son and rules to explore what might happen if nightmares didn t end when eyes opened. Grand Guignol theatre, much like today's violent-hungry horror flicks, used the leftovers from local butchers to bloody up their sets. The film noir genre so popu lar in 1930s France featured desperate characters trying to escape unwanted situations by involving themselves in sin and vice until they were finally killed. Even more speculative, exis tentialist works of fiction like Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" and Franz Kafka's The M etam orphosis horrified the reader with haunting themes of powerlessness. In all these cases, the spec tator chooses to succumb to horror by experiencing terror vic ariously through fictional narratives. It is never a question of evil per se, but of flirting with the idea of evil from a safe dis tance, of conceding to horror through the imagination. "You can still press that button that gives you the response," says Alan Hawk, a psychiatrist at the University of Haw aii. "It automatically goes down into your heart and your adrenal glands and releases everything before your brain is able to say it's really just fake."

We scare because we care As Danish author Isak Dinesen said, "In nature there is no evil, only an abundance of horror: the plagues and the blights and the ants and the maggots." Building on this notion, many daredevil groups have made it their business to provoke fear. The reality show Fear Factor features contestants who must undergo physically and mentally challenging stunts to win money. They .get close enough to danger to feel fear, though they know that trained professionals are keeping them safe.

See next page

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Halloween IS S U E

Fear's ma"v c o u s i n s

Fright: A sudden, usually momentary tear characterized by great agitation Ex: W h e n your little brother jumps out from around the corner and scares the crap out of you. Dread: A strong fear of something impending, especially of what one is powerless to avoid Ex: W h e n you're at the mercy of the clickclick-click of a rollercoaster slowly climbing its first hill and there ain't nothing you can do to stop it. Terror: An intense, overpowering fear Ex: W h e n you find yourself tied up by a psy chotic girlfriend w ho has just discovered that you're a conniving, cheating scumbag. Horror: A combination of fear and aversion or repugnance Ex: W h e n Creepy "W on't take no for an answer but will keep grabbing your ass” G u y follows you all around Peel Pub yelling "Hey sweet bottom" until you're sick to your stom ach. (That's what you get for going to Peel Pub.) Panic: A sudden frantic fear, often groundless Ex: W h e n you wake up to realize your exam started, oh, about 4 6 minutes a g o ... and you don't know the person lying in bed next to

you Alarm : Fright aroused by the first realization of danger Ex: W h en your roommate casually states, "I'm going to get some dinner''— the same dinner that fell victim to your pot munchies two hours earlier. Dismay: Apprehension that robs one of courage or the power to act effectively Ex: W h en a freak accident— a.k.a. the inabil ity to, ahem, get it up— makes asking her out again a rather discouraging concept Consternation: A state of often paralyzing dis may characterized by confusion and helpless ness Ex: W h e n a 22-year-old-laments the loss of her goldfish— "O h , Rutherford, w hy did you have to leave me?" Trepidation: Dread characteristically marked by trembling or hesitancy Ex: W h e n your sweaty, shaky palms make you drop the phone while you're trying to seduce your potential loveboat with inappro priate conversation. S o u rc e : The A m erican H erita g e Dictionary o f the English Language a n d two girls high on hot chocolate.

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I t seems that no one

really gives witches much thought anymore unless Halloween is approaching or they're gracing the big or little screens. Depictions of witches in recent popular culture have been humourous and nonthreatening. Think of Sandy Bullock in Practical M a g ic , Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus, and the fly ladies of Charmed. Scarier portrayals of supernatural sisters have not sufficed to set off alarms or force townspeople to coalesce in the valley, armed with pitchforks and blazing torches. Even The Blair W itch Project failed, raking in enough benjamins to fill a dumpster roomy enough for all the Book o f Sh ad o w s: Blair W itch 2 DVDs that were never purchased.

What's up with the witch lovin? W h y are w e no longer condemning witches as even Scotland's King James did in his 1597 best-seller Daemonologie? Strangely enough, some actually seem to be supporting them. In October of last year, the Norwegian government awarded a grant worth approximately $ 1 0 ,0 9 9 C N D to 337ear-old Lena Skarning to fund her company Forest Witch M agic Consulting. Skarning, a "good witch" for the last 13 years, had to promise she wouldn't

BEN JI F E L D M A N / M A N IK IN C LU B

Rebecca refused to turn in her broom, even for one of those hybrid cars.

Oh, let's go up the hill and scare ourselves / The best way is to come up hill with me / And have our fire and laugh and be afraid. —Robert Frost, "The Bonfire"

Continued from previous page.

Creators Matt Kunitz, Douglass Ross, and John DeMol ask you to "imagine a world where your greatest fears become reality." Suddenly, con fronting and conquering fear, from high risk feats to live maggot entrées, has become sexy. W h y do w e go out of our w a y to scare our selves? Better yet, why do w e get off on fear? Are w e confronting our own powerlessness, taking it boldly by the beard and debunking it of its mys tique? O r do w e enjoy feeling vulnerable because it excuses us from our responsibilities and rational thinking? Do w e indulge our fears because of the high w e get from being scared stiff? Confronting fear is one of our twisted ways of dealing with death. By scaring ourselves, w e affirm w e are still alive. "The horror of death has been ren dered safe; it is turned into a celebration of being permanently alive, forever immune to decay," says Walter Kendrick in his book The Thrill o f Fear.

"Horror films and stories are fiction and admit it; they revel in being made articles, presenting them selves to an audience that knows the fact well and is ready to play the game on those terms." It seems w e enjoy the fear w e create for our selves because it allows us to face something inhibit ing, choose not to be cowardly, and deal with it. Ultimately, though, w e enjoy fear for fear's sake. Researchers have found that w e entertain thoughts of ghosts, sharks and the unknown because w e crave the stimulation of fear's chemi cals. "The joy of all this horror derives from the fact that w e know it is not real," says Bill Harby. "N o matter how high the blood spurts, w e know it has nothing to do with the real terrors outside our door. By experiencing these scary, but obviously unreal forms of entertainment, w e are immunizing our selves against the fear of death and driving a stake through the heart of our fear." So, go ahead, be afraid. In fact, be very afraid. It might just be good for you. ■

"try any spells that might hurt anyone." Instead, she will be teaching magic tricks at seminars, telling fortunes and concocting potions and creams to fix everything from insomnia to bad habits. She is also planning to offer a day cream for easier deci sion-making, a night cream for more lucid dreaming, and a foot cream endowing the foot-pamperer with "the courage to walk new paths.” This is definitely a step up from this witch's past sources of income— Skarning used to do birthdays and bachelor/ette parties. Compare that to previous centuries, when governments across Europe, from France, Germany, and Switzerland, to Poland, Scotland, Spain, and England led witch hunts resulting in the execution of 5 0 ,0 0 0 supposed witches alone. O h there's nothing that brings people together like rooting out an identified evil. But were these executions merely hysterical mass murders based on false claims and testimonies, or the eradication of actual witches? If the latter were even some what true, what kind of danger could we be in today, trusting and protecting gen uine evil-doers?

Put your gloves on and your dukes up Contrary to what most might believe, not everyone thinks witchcraft is purely the stuff of movies and fairy tales. In his controversial paper, "Vampires, Dwarves, and Witches Among the Ontario Kashubs" (1972), Jan Perkowski interviews residents of Canada's oldest Polish settlement, the Canadian Kashubs. Unlike Europeans, these settlers from Wilno, Ontario, did not believe that witches with evil intentions derived their power from a pact with the devil. "The Canadian Kashubs believe that each witch is possessed by a personal devil and is driven to implant her devil in an innocent victim," asserts Perkowski. As her expiration date nears, "she passes on her devil to a new witch, frequently a rel ative, thereby creating whole families of witches." How, one may wonder, does one go about acquiring this personal devil?

See W IC K E D page 19.

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the mcgill tribune | 2 6 .1 0 .0 4 | feature 17

s ile n c e o f t h e la m b s Continued from page 17. Attending family auctions? Swapping juices? Doing the dirty? Actually, all that's required is a simple blow to the shout der. Luckily for the Kashubs, there's an easy solution. "The antidote to such a hex is an immediate answering blow on the shoulder of the witch, in hopes that the devil will return to its owner," explains Perkowski. "On Sunday morning, such doings provide a spectacle of unusual aggressiveness on the part of otherwise docile old ladies." (Uh-oh! Grandma Smith and Granny Jackson are duking it out in the church pews again!) Witches can also wreak havoc by slipping additives into their vic tim's food: according to Perkowski, at one picnic, a witch made dumplings so evil that one bite killed priest Slominski. Those crazy Kashubs!

Three cheers for a witch-friendly world! (Or not.) Some witches do have ways of getting supporters who will guaran tee their rights and freedoms. "With the anonymity provided by a computer screen, Witches have been able to reach out into a formerly hidden world to find sup port, education, information, networks of legal advice and counsel, organizations, and, most importantly, community," asserts witch and lawyer Phyllis Curott in a foreword to M . Macha's NightMare's W itchcraft and the W eb . A few clicks on the Montreal Witches Meetup Group at w w w.m eetup.com , reveal that not all hags are little old ladies with big warty noses— there are some serious hotties up in there. O n the message board is a posting from one young witch-in-training searching for other like-minded individuals: "I'm a leo girl and I've been going a lil' crazy 4 the past 2 weeks!! I need to find out about my powers because I'm feeling everyone's energy on the streets and I'm suffering from migraines every day because of it. I would like to meet other people like me and find my purpose." If that isn't a cry for help and com panionship, what is? As Currot maintains, developments like these are ultimately positive. “The astonishing speed with which the Internet connects people has helped spur the speed and size of [the Witch community] to such an extent that diverse sources now acknowledge Witchcraft as the fastest growing religion in America."

Bum, baby, bum! Still, the average witch is left largely misunderstood, especially by our elected officials. In response to a military base's 1999 choice to allow W iccan rituals, George Bush said "I do not think witchcraft is a religion, and I do not think it is in any w ay appropriate for the US military to pro mote it.” Debate the difference between tolerance and promotion all you want, but when you get those lusty-for-liberal-blood conservatives uncomfortable, you might as well count down the days until you get a house dropped on your magical ass. Figuratively speaking, of course. Though many images of witches in pop culture don't seem to be causing great public outcry, a few have been seen as more threatening in a post-9/11 world, marked by an ongoing battle against

"There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observ er of times, or an enchanter, or a witch." Deuteronomy 18:10

encroaching evil. At the end of December 2 0 0 1 , in Alamogordo, N e w Mexico, pastor Jack Brock held a "holy bon fire" to burnJ.K. Rowling's Harry Potter books, which Brock condemned as "an abomination to G od." Ah, G oody Rowling, your plan to pervert the minds of our youth has been exposed! Brock had mixed praise for Rowlings work, describing it as "a masterpiece of Satanic deception" that was interfering in decent Christians' dialogue with G od. The devout churchgoers who agreed with the Pastor sang "Amazing Grace" as they chucked Rowling's propaganda and other incendiary works into the flames. But the concern has popped up elsewhere. The Penryn, Pennsylvania police department said they weren't going to direct traffic from a Y M C A triathalon because the organization was forcing witchcraft on the community's children via Potter readings. Penryn Fire Police Captain Robert Fichthorn said: "I don't feel right taking our children's minds and teaching them [witchcraft]. As long as we don't stand up, it won't stop." Arguably more unfortunate is that— gasp!— witchcraft could be spreading in Pennsylvania. In fact, Jake Jenkins of Wilkes-Barre knows there are witches on Waller Street. He has secured his doors with metal and wood, and devotes the rest of his time to home-schooling his eight children. Jenkins claims that "witches are trying to kill me," but he can't say exactly why they want him dead. W hat he does know, though, is where the witches live. Each witch's location is mapped out on a stump in Jenkins's yard, the same stump Jenkins claims the witches used to "come by and sit on." Besides driving stakes into the stump, Jenkins also erected a plastic fence because those damned witches "would always try to sneak over." Jenkins is forced to take these actions because, as everybody— or at least the Jenkins family knows— Luzerne County is the location of Pennsylvania's biggest witches coven. Jake Jenkins also knows which witch "drinks human blood" and says, "You have the witches that want to play at it, and then you have the real serious bastards, deadly." O ne witch, who no longer lives among the bewitched of Waller Street, is Jake's own bro, Bill. But when Bill's house suspiciously burned down, do you think Jake felt any sympathy? Hal He was delighted. It doesn't take that many fanatical nutcases to popularize conspiracy theories. Witches beware, lest ye swing open the "broom closet" door too quickly. If witches push for too many rights or chant too loudly, they may be in danger of threatening the majority and causing too many conservatives to per ceive modern witches as yet another minority group in need of a reality check. ■

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atan has done a lot for us over the years. He's fulfilled our insatiable hunger for the irra tional, given us an easy, if unsettling, answer to those life riddles we can't seem to solve, assumed the blame for the many calamities that would otherwise make us doubt G o d and human goodness, and provided us with nonjudgmental fuel for the passions, sins, and vices we should probably avoid. In short, Shakespeare was right: "The Prince of Darkness is a gentleman " Yet, seldom do we view him as anything but an enemy. W ith the exception of the odd exorcist and Satan worshipper, most of us don't think the devil is much more than an affront to our sacred science, an age-old construct of our ignorance, an accessory in our entertainment system. But as one famous nutcase, the French philosopher Denis de Rougemont, noted: if our reasonable and logical selves can establish a good toward which to strive, we must also admit the existence of something other than good, something that, for better or worse, does exist, if only as a figment of our fragile minds. Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Satan's palace Satanaphobes, beware.

JLTHAiAl Satan was good at statistics but he excelled in his Study of W orld Religions class.

W h o is this Satan you speak of? Sir Satan's biography is complicated and riddled with rumours. Considered a minor god to Classical Greeks, God's rebellious adversary was then labeled a "daemon," or fallen angel, by early Christians borrowing the term from tneir Hellenistic ancestors, and has since inherited a plethora of less-than-flattering nicknames, from Beelzebub and Lord of the Flies to Mephistopheles, Lucifer, and Iblis In some parts of the Hebrew Bible, he is seen as a troublemaker; in others, he is a member of God's court, a kind of divine prosecuting attorney. Later interpretations of the Bible have depicted him as the infamous snake who tempted Eve, while literary héros like John Milton portrayed him as an archangel, banished from heaven for waging a w ar against G od. Then there's the odd heretic who believed the G o d worshipped by certain Christian sects was Satan, and the handful of Jehovah's Witnesses who believe any G o d other than their own is the embodiment of evil. Finally, rumour has it Satan's time among us is running out: he'll eventually be destroyed at the battle of Arm ageddon, when good will at last conquer evil. The thing is, to explain Satan in only religious terms is to cheat him of a real image. W hen dis cussing the possible identities of our friend, the wicked one, you have to consider the many areas in which he has appeared at one point or another, "This devil is not only an ecclesiastical matter," confirms Robert Muchembled, author of A History of the Devil (Polity Press, 2003). "He represents the dark side of our culture, the exact antithesis of the big ideas it has generated and exported all over the world, from the Crusades to the conquest of interplanetary space." Satan is everywhere, in forms no document can list exhaustively. For no real reason, biblical or otherwise, when thinking of Satan we now picture a schmuck with a forked tail and farm tools, or a goat-like creature with horns and bad facial hair that is more reminiscent of the Greek god Pan than anything else. This is a guy whose skin is perpetually red from anger and who snorts out smoke when ticked off. A guy who pops up on our left shoulder to entice us into doing bad things when our conscience is flagging. He's a shoddy, last-minute Halloween costume, a rebel without a

cause, an umbrella term that includes everything from cake to vaccuum cleaners. At the end of the day, with so much pomp and circumstance, we dismiss the devil as the product of our overstimulated and far too idle imaginations. However, perhaps the fact that we find him so outra geous— a horned mammal with a bad attitude? P/ease— is exactly how we fall prey to his game, believing he is inexistent when he's really just incognito. After all, a myth is but a story that dramatizes reality, and as Baudelaire remarked, "The Devil's cleverest wile is to convince us that he does not exist." Satan goes academic Nowadays, it's generally unacceptable to seriously entertain the notion of Satan in schol arly circles. Social scientists study Satan as a mass phenomenon, not as a living part of our his tory. 'Th e y recognize it as a profound reality, because it motivates both individual actions and collective attitudes," explains Muchembled. 'They may privately be of the opinion that the devil does not exist, but they still have to explain why those who believed in his power burned witch es in the 17th century, or w hy satanic rituals are still performed in his honour today." Satan has become the object of much academic inquiry, especially since the Middle Ages. Monks are believed to have painted the first mental pictures of Satan based on their nightmares and visions. Early medicine held that the body would undergo a demonic invasion if the humours that kept it healthy were thrown off balance. By the 14th century, the devil had become a concern not only for clergymen but for lay people as well, providing a vocabulary with which communities could explain and deal with a society plagued by corruption and illegitimate power. The age of science, reason, and industry introduced a new view of the devil as a sym bol of evil in humans. Although he was no longer a real presence to be reckoned with, Satan did not entirely disappear: instead, faced with new concepts like progress and technology, peo ple used images of evil to help illustrate the questions about human nature that were becoming ever more pertinent to their changes in lifestyle. By the 19th and 20th centuries, Satan was less a Christian myth and more a symbol of ambiguity, moral degeneracy and anarchy. The notion of human freedom made any formal talk of the devil seem backward and silly as it suggested that something outside the self could deter mine human destiny. As sexual liberation, hedonism, and the pursuit of happiness became acceptable social goals, Satan was no longer perceived as an evil spirit but as our collective unconscious. With the lines between duty and pleasure blurred, good and evil has become less clear-cut, and the devil has taken on his earlier Gnostic appeal as a giver of knowledge and a symbol of well-being. He is the playful god of charm, frivolity, and mischief who, like Dionysus before him, advertises a good time, good booze, and a good dose of the irrational. Satan through the ages There are those who have believed that any talk of the devil, even when metaphorical, is either ludicrous or detrimental. Skeptics have argued that Satan could not logically defy a sup posedly omnipotent G o d ; naturalists have argued that Satan's supernatural qualities prevent him from interaction with humans; humanists have argued that human behaviour, even when bad, is but a product of animal, not satanic, urges. Further, some have said that to admit Satan's existence is to impede human progress by giving humans an excuse for poor or immoral con duct. Regardless, Satan continues to be an important, loaded metaphor. Academics have tried to understand the superstitions of the masses by studying demonology which, throughout histo ry, has spurred notable tragedies, from witch trials to the Littleton shootings. As they explain in M a g ic , Mystery, a n d S cien ce (Indiana University Press, 2004), historians Dan Burton and David G randy gained a better understanding of early Greek civilization by studying their rapport with demons: "Among other things, demons were a w a y of making sense of reality." As a metaphor, Satan emphasizes discord in human thought, something that is often for gotten in our quest to be coherent and straightforward. The Ecole frénétique in Restoration France, a literary movement based on horror, used satanic themes to describe supernatural powers, while horror movies have used images of Satan to denote a distrust of the unknown, in literary and artististic works, Satan has been portrayed both as an alluring man who obtains human souls in exchange for temptations, and as a femme fatale who uses her wiles to deceive innocent men. Satanists have included every dark-minded soul from the petits romantiques in 1800s France, who found it fashionable to admire evil in others, to worshippers of the devil who reject all established dogmas that seek godliness outside the individual. Bands like Van Halen and Black Sabbath have sympathized with the devil, while cult television like South Park has taken stabs at Saddam Hussein by portraying him as the devil's sadistic lover. The devil is always in fashion because he is adaptable. He existed back when theology, culture, and science created a single lens through which to see the world, and he exists now when even a multitude of disciplines makes allusions to evil unavoidable. He is used to vilify what we don't want and glorify what we do want. 'Th e devil has always moved with the times," says Muchembled. "Great Christian myth in an age when people in the West could not chose their religion, when heretics were persecuted and witches burned, he then infiltrated the romantic symbolisms of an age of revolt and rebel lion. More recently, he has metamorphosed endlessly in societies increasingly drawn to individ ualism, that powerful rising tide which has forced into retreat all systems of thought aiming to impose their blanket certainties." Satan is alive and well, in our fears, our beliefs, our bad intentions, and our bad jokes. His ill-repute may preceed him, but we should know better by now: As English writer Samuel Butler noted, "we've only heard one side of the case. G o d has written all the books." ■

the mcgill tribune [ 26 .1 0 .0 4 | feature 1Ç

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it But Mark had always been certain that the only thing better than eating sushi was eating ass.

L IZ A L L E M A N G

ssei Sa ga w a is a celebrity in his native Japan. He currently pens a weekly column for a national tabloid; he is a painter (mostly nudes, focus on the female buttocks], and an actor w ho starred in the erotic, but artsy, The Bedroom . Those who live in East Asia see him regularly on television, most often involved in panel discussions. The Rolling Stones wrote a song about him called "Too Much Blood." He has penned sev eral best-selling books, most recently a novel-length comic book about cannibalism, which was also the topic of his most famous work, Into the Fog, an autobiographical account detailing the obsession, murder, and consumption of Renée Hartevelt, a woman he claimed to love. He has become a celebrity more because of human curios ity than for any skill he might possess. It doesn't matter how poor the quality of his paintings or how lacking his theatrical skill— because he is the small man w ho ate his beautiful friend, he will forever be examined through a voyeuristic lens. "The public has made me the godfather of cannibalism, and I am happy about that," he said. "I will always look at the world through the eyes of a cannibal." N o matter what he does, the public feels like they are able to gain insight into the mind of a psychopath by observing him. And as w e too are a culture that eats up all things morbid, it is only natural to want to get a glimpse of the cannibal's realm.

her buttocks he confessed, "A lot of sallow fat oozes from the wound. It reminds me of corn. It continues to ooze. It is strange. Finally 1 find the red meat under the sallow fat. I scoop it out and put it in my mouth. I chew. It had no smell and no taste. It melts in my mouth like a perfect piece of tuna. I look into her eyes and say 'you are delicious.'" The disturbing mutilation continued. Using an electric carv ing knife, he cut off some strips of her body to be stored "for later," while nibbling on some raw pieces. He roasted her hip and served it with salt and mustard, using her panties as a nap kin. H e listened to the recording she had made for him and continued to pick at the corpse. He took what was left of Renée with him to bed that night. He noted post-coitally, "W hen I hug her, she lets out a breath." The next morning, noticing that the body had yet to decom pose, he sampled more. He gushed about eating his w a y from the underarm to the elbow: "I had no idea how good it would taste." As her remains began to fester, Sagaw a exclaimed in sad ness: "Flies are buzzing around her: The honeymoon is over.". With a hachet he cut her up, arranging her dismembered body in several suitcases. All the while, he continued to enjoy her, removing her lip to refrigerate for later, sexual gratification, detaching her hand to use to masturbate, cutting her tongue out

to chew on. W hen the time came to decapitate Hartevelt, he grabbed her head by the hair and held it up in front of him. At this point, the truth became clear as he whispered, "I realized I am a cannibal," he admitted in Into the Fog. Tw o days after dumping the suitcases in a park, police arrived at his apartment with a search warrant. Sagaw a con fessed to his crime, adding that he had a history of mental ill ness. The judge in the case decided that he was unfit to stand trial as he was delusional. Sagaw a was sentenced to incarcer ation in the Paul Guiraud asylum. W hile there, he correspond ed with several members of the Japanese media who sent him books about other cannibals. "I realized I am not so unusual," he acknowledged in his novel. In 1 9 8 6 , five years after killing and consuming Renée Hartevelt, he was a free man. Immediately after getting released from prison, Sagawa's celebrity appeal soared. His 15 minutes of fame have spanned nearly two decades, enabling him to make a career out of his gruesome act. Sagaw a said he will not commit qiurder or can nibalism again. In a recent interview, he quipped: "The only w a y I can be saved is if I am eaten by a young western wom an." And while it is likely that many are tempted by the free invite to maim this fellow, paying for the airfare and being in the same room as the creep, let alone tasting his tainted flesh, sounds more like a nightmare than a dream come true. ■

"I'd love to have you for dinner" In 1 9 8 1 , Sagaw a moved to Paris to study at the Sorbonne. He quickly met Hartevelt, a 25-year old German who w as working on her Ph.D. Sagaw a asked her to tutor him in German; she agreed. The slight gent quickly fell for her: "M y passion is so great. I want to eat her. If I do she will be mine forever. There is no escape from this desire." O n June 1 1, he invited her over to record her reading a German expressionist poem. They sat on the floor and drank tea. After making sexual advances that she declined, he turned on the tape recorder. As she started to read the poem in her native language, he crept up behind her and shot her in the head. Though it w as obvious she was dead, he continued talk ing to her as he undressed her and cut the tip of her breast and a piece of her nose off. "I then touched her hip and wondered where I should bite first," Sagaw a revealed. Upon cutting into

or many of us, the children's fairy tale H an sel a n d G retel was our first encounter with cannibalism. Two kids get lost in the woods, find a house made of candy, start eat ing it; a witch w ho owns the home gets ticked off and cooks the children. (Though really, can you blame her? They w ere eating her house, after all]. In 19 9 1 , The S ilen ce o f the Lambs taught us not only to stay a w a y from Dr. Hannibal Lecter, but that fava beans and a nice Chianti complement human liver. The act of people eating people has always been apparent in popular culture. It has been detailed everywhere from Homer's The Iliad to Tarzan o f the Jungle, The Tempest, H ea rt o f Darkness and even Robinson C ruso e. But w e tend to take the art of eating human flesh with a grain of salt in such instances: sure it makes us a little sick, but it is fictitious. Cannibalism, however, is hardly reserved for the big screen and novels. In 18 4 6 , the Donner Party, a group of immigrants making the pilgrimage from Illinois to California,

lot caught in a blizzard in Sierra N evada and were trapped several months without food. O f the 8 7 w ho originally embarked upon the journey, only 4 6 survived, a third of them men, two thirds of them women and children. In 1 9 7 2 , after a plane carrying a Uruguayan soccer team en route to a match in Argentina crashed into the Andes, the players stayed alive by eating the deceased team members. Still, these are hardly situations into which w e, as stu dents, tend to get. Sure the weather outside is frightful, but when the snow falls, (hopefully) none of us will resort to eat ing our friends. It hardly seems like cannibalism is a reality, but the truth is, it is not restricted to the aforementioned liter ary figures, soccer players, and Anthony Hopkins types. N o r is it only practiced by remote tribes like the Fore in N e w Guinea. As perverse and unreal as it seems, many have an agressive or sexualized desire to eat or be eaten. ■

ffcor

— Liz Allem ang

2 0 feature | 26 .1 0 .0 4 | the mcgill tribune

TH E

balluween IS S U E

Patty & R a y m o n d g e t d re sse d

foraparty H a llw e e n

s h o r t s t o r y w it h

flir t a t io u s c r o s s - d r e s s in g

JE R E M Y M O R R IS

nnan and woman, "two parents, two lovers, a hus band, a wife stand in front of the mirror." "Raymond, how do I look?" she says. Black pants, black bra, black socks and a bare belly, which he rubs. "Oui ma Patricia, c'est splendide.” The Frankmaisons are going to a party tonight with their son Emil. A kiss, a hug, a grope before the child comes in and, "O h no, there's lipstick all over my neck you brute." They stand in silence facing the mirror. Laughter. "Vien-ci ma petite. Je vais t'embrasser." He lunges. She brandishes a toothbrush, "Well Mr. Vampire I want you to know that I ate garlic today.” M ockspits in the sink. "Brosse-toi les dents d'abord." Re-applied lipstick, kiss-proof, pulled-up skirt, tied tie, pressed shirt. "Do I need mascara?" He winks. "Je t'aime comme tu es." She smiles, looks down, grabs her purse, flicks it open. "But you need to shave." He rubs his face, looks at her soft cheeks, brown hair, long long legs. "T'a raison. Passe moi

le rasoir." The water is running, the lights shine brightly on the blue walls, she feels puffy. "I look gross." He's finished shaving. "Pour une femme, la beauté c'est naturelle. For a man it takes work. Tiens." He hands her cologne. She sniffs, glances at his hairy knuckles, black hair, and short, short eyelashes. "Tu pus." She hands him her perfume. The room smells like The Bay department store on Boxing Day. Rolled-up nylons, tightened belts, tied shoes and snapped bras. "That hurts." A wink, a nudge. "Comment tu penses que je me sens?” He flexes a muscle. She curtsies. They laugh. "Maintenant les cheveux." C om b ready, gel-applied, the brown hair is slicked back. “O h so professional." A brush, a blowdryer and little red bow for the top. "Très sexy." A few minor adjustments: a tuck, a pull, a pat, and a yank and everything is ready to go. A wom an, a man, "two parents, two lovers, a wife, a husband stand in front of the mirror." Their son walks in. Young Emil wears a black, yellow, red

W h e th e r

a re

n o

y o u 'r e

e xcu se s

diamond-covered outfit. There are fuzzy bonbons on his shoes and a funny hat is welded to his head by means of an uncom fortable elastic band. He fiddles constantly with his hat. Earlier as his parents dressed, the boy had been watch ing Cinderella on television. "Bibbity Bobbity," he had made sure to cheer for the singing mice and call the evil stepsisters naughty names. W h e n he stepped into the washroom, choco late (the remains of his snack) covered his face. "Harlequin come here please." His parents were embraced, had they been kissing? "Mommy, you look funny," Emil says. He slaps her gently with his stick. "Oui mon petit Emil, je suis différente. Let me clean your face off." Harlequin took a step back and slaps his father gently with his stick. "Papa, t'es très bien rasé." His father picks him up, takes out a handkerchief, which he licks, and proceeds to gently wipe his son's face. Harlequin's afternoon snack cleaned from Emil's face, the three Frankmaisons stare at each other and for a moment it seemed as it had always been this w ay: a mother, a father and a young son. ■

h o m e b o d y

o r

fo r n o t h a v in g

ome say there's an age when you become too old for trick-or-treating. True or not, that doesn't mean you can't have bone-chilling Halloween fun— it just means the fun will likely result in a hangover instead of a stomach ache. There's always the classic costumed house party of Evil Dead marathon, but if you'd rather dress up as a Candarian demon while frying something new, here are a few sug gestions: If you like indoors, check out the museums (M cC ord has the coolest event w e could find, "Witches Under the Big Top," w w w .m ccord-m useum .qc.caj , as almost all of them have something spooky to offer patrons. If you'd rather be outdoors, especially come the witching hour, there are ghost tours {w w w .p h vm .q c.ca ) offered all over the city, especially in O ld Montreal; they promise either a good scare or a good laugh! For more on the entertainment side, check out G a ry Kurtz {w w w .adm ission .com }, a comedi an, telepathic, m agician... w ho gladly terrifies and delights on Halloween night. If you're more hung up on that hangover but don't

a n

In c u b u s

fu n

c o m e

g ro u p ie ,

th e re

O c to b e r

want to be a host, check out the three-day G rande Masquerade {w w w .g ran d em a sca ra d e.com ) event in O ld Montreal. The fun begins at 6pm on Friday with an opening celebration and doesn't stop until the funeral procession walk Sunday evening. Some activities require tickets, so check the W e b site for further details. Also included under the G rande M asquerade title is "The Scariest Blind Date in the W orld" on Saturday night at le Spectrum 1861-5851). It's a hot party for only $ 1 1 .7 5 . The catch? It's completely in the dark, so you might not know just w ho you're biting-slash-kissing. O n the flipside, the odds are good that you'll end up with a date by Sunday morning, so that in the evening, you can hit up the Disco Hafiaween Party at Metropolis (8 4 4 -3 5 0 0 ) or g o see Incubus lw w w .a d m ksia n .ca m ), rf you must. Just remember kiddies: before you dress up and pamt the town red, turn your cbcks back O n Sunday, Daylight Savings Time ends, so you get an extra hour to TP your ex's apartment! ■ —Lise Treutler

the mcgitl tribune | 2 6 .1 0 .0 4 | feature 21

TH E

Halloween IS S U E

The q u e s t io n

ghosts LAURA SABA O u r city is known for its ghosts, from post-colonial spirits to presentday apparitions. Some of the more loopy cab drivers out there even refuse to drive through the O ld Port for fear of running into the infamous crea tures. Here's a rundown of the more popular Frenchie phantoms, so you can learn to differentiate befween true ghost, and truly hungover student road-kill on back alleys.

ontreal's most famous ghost story is that of M a ry Galiagher, a prostitute who had her head cut off on June 26,1 8 7 9 by a fellow prostitute, said to be her best friend. Every seven years her ghost is supposed to appear at the site of her murder, although she has not been seen since 1928. Watch for the supernat ural sex worker next year. • The St. Gabriel Inn in O ld Montreal, the city's oldest inn, is said to be haunt-

in the house that could be knotted was tied into similar knots. While some say that the youngest daughter of the family who owned the house was unconsciously tying knots all over the place, a later tenant of the house claimed that he found knots in his own curtains and bed sheets one night. • Security guards at John Abbott College, a CÉG EP in the SteAnne-de-Bellevue area, report strange occurrences such as lights turning on and off and doors unlock-

BEN JI F ELD M A N / M A N IK IN C L U B

Some attribute his pale complexion to the fact that he is a ghost. We suspect it's just a matter of poor nutrition.

ed by the ghost of a little girl who ing themselves mysteriously. Hey, if died in a fire there in the 19th centu w e had tedious security jobs, we ry. • Jean St. Pere, one of Montreal's would play jokes on our co-workers original settlers, was attacked by a in between smoke breaks, too. • band of Iroquois in October 1647, American author Mark Twain wrote which cut off his head and made off an article in Harper's Magazine's with it. The head started insulting September- 1895 issue about his them in Iroquois, and no matter how "sole experience in the matter of they tried to get rid of it, it found its apparitions." He was once at w ay back to them until they buried it Montreal's Windsor Hotel on a lec and fled from the site. • John Wilkes ture tour when he spotted a woman Booth, Abraham Lincolns assassin, he had not seen in 20 years. She was believed to have been surround walked towards him as if she was ed and shot at his home in Virginia going to talk to him but mysteriously on April 2 6 , 1865. Yet three days disappeared. He encountered her later, Montreal detectives arrested a later that night in the same dress she man they were sure was Booth at the had been wearing when he first saw Garneau Hotel. The police superin her, but she informed him that she tendent ordered his unconditional had arrived in Montreal less than an release, however, and years later his hour earlier. • To take a walk brother recognized him in London. through historic Montreal and learn Part of the bloody towel used to bind more about the city's eerie past full of Lincoln's head after he was shot is ghosts, mysteries, and notorious visit w w w .p h v m .q c .c a now at McGill's McLennan Library. crimes, • A house on Prince Arthur between where you'll find information on the rue Parc and rue Ste-Famille is the O ld Montreal Ghost W alk and other They stop running in apparent home of a poltergeist. tours. but they have Rumour has it that in 1929 mysteri September, ous knots started appearing in the Halloween specials on October 28 curtains, and eventually everything and 29. ■

H A L L O

E E N

L O

G Y

W h a t your

H a llo w e e n e x p e r ie n c e says a b o u t you LIZ ALLEMANG & BRODY BROWN Attending The Rocky Horror Picture Show This is the type of experience for all those kids who never went to camp and were so jealous of those who did. Don't try and hide the fact that you've been looking forward to this show all year. That, you sweet transvestites from Transexual, Transylvania, is sadder than Meat Loaf's film career. You've probably already had your bag packed with the requisite toast, newspaper, toilet paper, cards, flashlight, and squirt gun since November of last year. W e can't figure out what's more obnoxious: people who know all the lines to a movie and feel compelled to recite them, drunk bitches in tired costumes shrieking at the characters on the screen, or shit being thrown around the theatre— all in good fun, of course, until someone gets a piece of raw rice in his eye. Free yourself from the cult lifestyle! There's a reason they banned this trash in South Africa. Hosting a haunted house Crusty mattresses and old, stanky refrigerator boxes strewn together with duct tape don't, in our opinion, make for a bitchin' soirée. And no, the fact that you have a Ghoulish Noises! soundtrack playing on a hidden boom box doesn't help your cause. W hile the prospect of meeting a pervy stranger in the depths of darkness does appeal to us, w e hate that you've managed to coerce your poor friends into the act. There is nothing lamer than going to a haunted house at a curry-reeking 1 1/ 2 on rue Milton and having people in half-assed costumes jumping out from behind the couch yelling "boo." Correction: the only thing sadder are the people doing the screaming. Honey, if you are seriously into frightening the neighbourhood children— of which there are oh-so-many in the ghetto— then answer the door with your usual sans makeup, morning-hair mess, and forego the tooth brushing. W e promise you will give them a most traumatizing Halloween. Trick-or-treating and elementary school-style parties A w w ... perfect for dah widdle biddie babies! You want to go to the kind of Halloween party where you bob for apples, eat yummy cupcakes with candy corn pressed into green frosting, and shove your hands into a box of horrors to figure out what the hell it is you're squeezing that feels so much like brains. Do you still want to take Mommy with you in case you have to use the potty at the party and can't get out of your costume by your self? M aybe, after the party, if you're extra good, somebody will take you trick-or-treating. You sick little freaks. There are few sights more pathetic than opening one's door to see a throng of smiling little kids eclipsed by a big twentysomething brute in a Luke Skywalker costume. And if you go to such a party "just to support a friend," be sure not to spike the witch's brew-slashparty punch. Because if you get too wasted, you'll have to tell everyone how and where you acquired the dry ice burns on your face. And the only thing more painful than that is discovering the apple you just went bobbing for has a not-so-tasty razor blade in the middle of it. Turning off all of the lights and pretending not to be home Darling, you are what w e like to call a sad sack. N ot only does your behaviour strike us as creepy— and kind of cheap— but you are lacking Halloween lovin'. To you, October 31 is like any other day, except more of a hassle because those damned rowdy kids on the street keep setting off car alarms. N o jack-o'-lantern, no decorations, maybe you want us to think that you are out whooping it up on the town. You are too important and busy to pay homage to the Great Pumpkin, but w e know that you are either inside doing your chemistry homework by candlelight or watching that infomercial for the M agic Bullet Blender. You do put forth some effort though— that luscious "bowl of treats" you left out on the porch. Though it is the thought that counts, w e would like to confirm that apples, raisins, reject cans of waxed beans, and expired, non-dolphin-friendly tuna cleared out from your pantry are hardly worthy of a spot in our trick-or-treat bag. Pimp 'n' ho parties And this event/attire differs from every other night you go out, how? "Look at me, I'm a librarian by day and a sexy librarian by night!" Besides essentially mocking an abusive, exploitative relationship, you're probably breaking every classic Halloween rule your parents once told you. You're talking to strangers. You're putting things in your mouth that don't belong there. You're not dressed appropriately for the temperature. Not to mention the fact that if you're a woman, you're totally perpetuating the idea that you love to be objectified and seen as an easy hoochie-mama. You think M ary Wollstonecraft would have gone to this crap? Sure, sure, it's all fun and games until someone actually thinks they can purchase you— without even buying you a drink first! Com e now, you need some standards. However, though w e are tired of seeing your treasure trail, Miss Thang, it is a scary sight. Bravo for keeping the spirit of Halloween alive. ■

EDUCATIONCANADAl English, French & Spanish

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Sorority stereotypes get sacked T h e C h is . t h e l a t e s t a d d i t i o n t o t h e G r e e k f a m i ly SEPAND TEHRANI A

t this year's Beer Olympics, cries of "TogaI" "Toga!" "Toga!" reverberated off of drunken bodies and pukeslicked walls as the meandering predations that are the precursors to date-rape en masse took place all around. Actually, none of this is true. The latter description was more or less the plot for the movie Anim al House. Authentic Greek life isn't a jumble of misconceptions as typified by one movie. Sororities in particular often receive more than a generous portion of the stereotyping pie, simply because most of us are unaware of what it is they actually do, other than make men squirm like mice on cocaine. There is more variety among the Greek women of M cG ill than one would likely think. Take, for instance, the women of Chi. The Chis are a group of female students who, deciding they did not want to be bound by the regulations sorority houses must typically abide by at M cG ill, started an all-female, non Panhellenic fraternity. Some of the regulations in question include being dry, as in alcoholfree. The four other all-female houses at M cG ill are all Panhellenic. Being Panhellenic simply means that they are par tially regulated by an international council whose rules and reg ulations temper some of what they can and cannot do by virtue of an official common code of conduct. For instance, Panhellenic sororities cannot sell alcohol at their houses, nor can they maintain alcohol sponsorships as do many of the "all-male fraternities." The Chis are free to do both. Furthermore, they are bound only by their own internal constitu tion. Desiring to be unbound in creating their own niche at M cG ill, their motto is: "All things change, and w e change with them; not for me, not for you, but for each other; the truth is my

DAVE B R O D K EY

A unique child, Loveys named his imaginary friend Pythagoras. V S' I D U STIN ■A A B

It's not all fun, games, and wet T-shirts. ternities and sororities compete for points, culminating in a final crescendo of letting loose with the Beer Olympics. Yes, the Beer Olympics are about boozing it up and the inevitable rah-rah that follows. And yes, like at any other parly, unless you're some sort of hermit Tribune editor or writer, some people go over board. However, it is unfair to harp on these factors while ignor ing the balance that makes up the week's events. Some would be surprised to hear that in terms of percentage points, the most valuable event day is philanthropy day. And forget the non sense of points and event days. Every year, Greek W eek phi lanthropy events raise thousands of dollars and contribute volun teer hours to local charities like Sun-Youth and the C IB C Breast Cancer Run for the Cure. "So far this year [between the four sororities on campus] it's probably about $ 2 ,0 0 0 all together," said Kreek. W hile some houses chose to attach themselves to external charities, some organized their own fundraisers. "O n e of the sororities cooked and invited all the other sororities and fraternities to donate money, in effect raising money internally as well," said Adrienne Bingham, U3 BioChemistry. Unfortunately, it isn't likely that sororities will, at any time in the near future, immediately bring to mind concepts like "break ing with tradition" or "philanthropy." M ore than likely, social ized and popular media images of wet T-shirt contests and lessthan-stellar intellects will continue to dominate the minds of the incuriously accepting. But a consensus of misunderstanding doesn't mean that those who actually look for what really goes on will find anything of the like. ■

life." Shirin Raaz, the current president and one of the founding sisters, said that the new all-female fraternity is an experiment in reconciling traditions with a new motif of fluidity and change. "O ur genesis is forged in change," she said. Though the Chis are not the first group of women to break with the Panhellenic tradition, they are the first at to do so at M cG ill, making them novel, to say the least.

Shedding stereotypes but still having fun Greek W eek came and went very recently at M cG ill, and in all likelihood, most of the student population didn't notice it. But the Greeks, and especially the Greek women at M cG ill, have gotten used to living under the radar. Elena Kreek, presi dent of the M cG ill Panhellenic Council, puts the number of sorority sisters at M cG ill at approximately 80. Greek W eek consists of a series of event days in which fra

The best part about being a math professor is... a toss-up. The best thing is either dealing with math— knowledge in its purest form— all the time, or dealing with young adults— when their brains are ripest for this kind of stuff— all the time. I'm currently working o n ... linear reducts of the complex field. M y toothpaste of choice is... whatever's cheapest at the dollar store. If forced to choose between integral or differential, I'd go w ith... inte gral, definitely. Differential's too routine. The person whom I most look up to is... Alistair Lachlan or Chuck Berry. I acquired my first calculator in... I've never owned a calculator in my life. I realized I wanted to be a math professor w hen... it happened: sum mer 1988. M y favourite book is... Gravity's R ainbow by Thomas Pynchon. I assume math books are out. The most complex problem I ever solved... the Reimann hypothesis. Just kidding. Offered Coke, Pepsi, or Guinness, I'd pick... Guinness. M y favourite spot to go to at McGill is... I guess just Burnside; I seem to spend 9 9 per cent of my time here. If Isaac Newton and Wilhelm Leibniz were to duke it out, Newton would win because... he was much more ruthless. In my wallet, I have... I don't own a wallet. I usually w ear... clothing. If I could be a superhero, I would b e ... never occurred to me. The most nerve-wracking lecture I ever g ave... one time, I had a real ly loud class of engineers. I don't like my classes too quiet, but these guys— they were practically all guys— were getting out of control. I started the lecture from w a y back in the (large) room, where the worst of the worst were operating from. O f course I couldn't use the black board. I lasted about 10 minutes up there before the students caught on and requested I move up. It worked. —co m p iled b y R. Sco lt M c lsa a c

Your most premeditated outfit ... a n d Melanie Ralescu, U1 Arts W h a t are you planning on dressing up as on H a llo w een? Dressing up with friends as Les Nubiennes. W hat's your favourite costume from your ch ildh o o d ? Snow W hite when 1 was five; M om made the costume. W h ich outfit have you seen on som eone else that you wish you had thought o f yourself? /** M y friend Zach who dressed up as a cau liflower, wore all white and had white powder in his hair.

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Diane, U2 Psychology W ha t are you planning on dressing up as on H a llo w een ? Janis Joplin. W hat's your favourite costume from your childhood ? Best costume was a princess costume; it had a beau tiful pink ball gown. W hich outfit have you seen on som eone else that you wish you ha d thought o f yourself? tollbooths— two guys went around in cut-out boxes, handing out tickets.

Cal Kufta, U1 History W h a t are you planning on dressing up as on H a llo w een? Dressing up as a puritan, all in white. W hat's your favourite costume from your childhood? I was an airplane when I was younger, made of drywall insulation, had lights, the whole deal. W h ich outfit have you seen on som eone else that you wish you h a d thought o f yourself? Jean Chrétien— the focal point of the costume was a "no comment" button.

Tingi Ko, U 3 Marketing W h a t are you planning on dressing up as on H a llo w een? I'm not dressing up this year. W hat's your favourite costume from your ch ildh ood ? M y best costume was when 1 was 15, and went out with friends as stars. W e wore yellow rain pon chos. W h ich outfit have you seen on som eone else that you wish you had thought o f yourself? Some guy wearing a pineap ple costume stolen from an American college.

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—co m p iled b y Heather Kilty M a k Farhad Merali, U3 Finance and IDS W h a t are you planning on dressing up as on H allow een? Fireman— huge overcoat, T-shirt, hard hat. W hat's your favourite costume from your ch ildh ood ? Superman in grade tw o— it was made of some garbage-bagmaterial. W hich outfit have you seen on som eone else that you wish you thought o f yourself? I wouldn't wear this costume, but my two friends dressed up as aerobics instructors.

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of chaos and confusion, there is a team of elite free dom fighters bent on saving the world... or completely obliterating it. They are— wait for it— Team Am erica: W orld Police, and yes, they are star-spangled commando puppets poised and ready to blow the terrorists away. If the premise sounds hilariously ridiculous, there's a good rea son. W e have the warped minds of South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone to thank for this gift of entertainment. They're at it again during yet another election season. But this time around, they satirize big-budget blockbuster movies via marionettes. How could you not make a great movie by "casting" puppets that bear a striking resemblance to those in the old cult TV classic Thunderbirds? While

d e ta ils

C A TH ERIN E LEM ERY

ver the past 3 0 years, hip hop culture has evolved sig nificantly and attained global recognition, but with this growth has come many costs. Multi-billion dollar corpo rations like Sony, Viacom, Bertelsmann and Vivendi Universal, which own Roc-A-Fella Records, Def Jam Records, Rush Communications Inc., N o Limit Records and Cash Money Records, respectively, have bought the rights to public airwaves, record companies and production businesses throughout the world. They have acquired the power to dictate what artists will be heard and how hip hop will be defined in mainstream pop ular culture. These companies have nearly destroyed the essence of hip hop. They are to blame for the misconstrued idea that hip hop is nothing more than a money-hungry industry that encour ages materialism, misogyny, violence, and drug addiction in order to glorify a "gangsta" lifestyle that has corrupted our gen eration. Hip hop came about in the 1970s from the Universal Zulu Nation as a vehicle to teach awareness, knowledge, and posi tive thought. As a predominantly black movement, hip hop cul ture originated in the Bronx with the goal of ending gang vio lence. The term "hip hop" was coined by Lovebug Starki, and was later made public by a man named Afrika Bambaataa, known today as the founder of hip hop culture. In 1979 Bambaataa declared, "When we made hip hop, w e made it hoping it would be about peace, love and unity and having fun, so that people could get away from the negativity that was plaguing our streets, like gang violence, drug abuse, self-hate, and racism." Hip hop culture includes five main elements: rapping, deejaying, breakdancing, graffiti, and knowledge. Respect, unity, and knowledge make up the tripod foundation on which hip hop stands. For this reason, on M a y 16, 2 0 0 1 , the United Nations recognized hip hop as a non-governmental organization. So why do artists like 5 0 Cent now make millions of dollars by act ing like uneducated barbarians? The answer is simple. W hen an artist is signed to a major record label, they will inevitably play into whatever role the label demands. Consequently, certain artists will "sell out" in exchange for a large sum of money. Companies like Vivendi Universal and Viacom have plagued hip hop and destroyed todays youth by promoting violence and chauvinism in their music. By labeling a predominantly black culture as violent and uneducated, they suc cessfully manage to keep themselves at the top of todays econ omy. Meanwhile, mainstream corporations have afflicted hip hop with separatism. Their manipulation of hip hop has become a political tactic to reinforce racial stereotypes. Businessman Richard Gonahangya and his company, America Media

HANDS

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50 Cent: no street cred! Operative Inc., bought and trademarked all rights to the term "hip hop" for a net estimate of eight billion dollars a year. Accordingly, in order to use the term hip hop, small businesses now need to pay his company $ 2 0 ,0 0 0 for the "right" to speak about a culture that once brought so many people together. Michael Powell, w ho works for the American Federal Communications Commission, has sold most radio airwaves to big corporations. O n e of these corporations, Clear Channel, is affiliated with major record labels and owns 1200 radio stations nationwide, which are dispersed around 6 5 different countries. W hen a record label buys the rights to public radio stations and pays the F C C to regulate what will be played on public air waves, artists signed under their names can become platinum selling hits. It is thus unsurprising that people lose their will to sup port local hip hop, forcing those bands underground. Hip hop is about giving a voice to one's community. This is what differentiates an M C who raps for a community and a thug who raps for a corporation. Artists like KRS One, Slug, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Sage Francis, Common, Mystic, Eyedea, Buck 6 5 , and many others have dedicated themselves to promot ing what true hip hop stands for, and for this reason have gar nered much-deserved respect from the hip hop community. It is time to start recognizing our power to re-establish the essence of hip hop, a culture that our generation will always be remem bered for. ■

mocking the w ay moviemakers like Jerry Bruckheimer load their films with clichéd dialogue and over-the-top action-packed storylines, they also indiscriminately make fun of as many people as possible. It is, of course, the South Park team we're talking about here! Team Am erica is side-splittingly juvenile, illogical, and full of non sense that satirically ridicules America's collective ignorance, the state of world affairs, and everything in between— save for George Dubya. Sure, the actors' guild deserves criticism, and Michael Moore may or may not be "a giant socialist weasel," but Parker and Stone miss out on a perfect opportunity to lampoon the funniest people of all-Am erican politicians. Instead, they stay on the middle ground and seem to aim more for a good laugh at the current world situation instead of blaming people for it. It's quite possible that Parker and Stone have gone too far off the deep end with their brand of humour. The puppets are central to half of the jokes in the movie. W h o knew you could have so much fun with wooden dolls? For example, the limited facial expressions, bad leg work and attempts at puppet sex will surely go down in history as some of the most ludicrous stunts the South Park team has ever come up with (sadly, the censors pulled the plug on the golden shower scene). Though it may be clever to an extent, the vulgarity dominates and even gets a little dull after a while. Overloaded with slapstick and toilet humour, Team Am erica is hit or miss, depending on who's watching. Overall, however, Parker and Stone hit their mark. The "three dif ferent kinds of people" speech, the vomiting puppet scene, and the song "Pearl Harbor Sucked and I Miss You" could very well cause them to end up in jail for inadvertent death by laughter. Team Am erica: W orld Police is definitely not for the faint-of-heart, but it's worth the ticket price for a good laugh and the reminder not to take anything too seriously. ■

CANVAS

But is B ush rea lly a n y th in g like A le x a n d e r t h e G r e a t ? T

he other day, I was mindlessly watching TV when an ad came on for a new movie coming out called Alexander, starring Colin Farrell and Angelina Jolie. At first, I immedi ately thought it was an ad for Troy, a similarly ancient, blood thirsty tale of war. Next on the tube was George W . Bush's ugly mug, campaigning for four more years of warmongering. Then it occurred to me— there could be a correlation here. W h y are w e suddenly being inundated with movies like Troy, Alexander, King Arthur and even The Lord o f the Rings? W e are

p o w e r a n d more oil a n d more m oney I W ith great p o w e r com es g rea t responsibility, a n d it is your duty as Am ericans to g o kill yourselves for the thickness o f m y wallet. The scary thing is that it seems to be working. These movies are guaranteed blockbusters, no matter how mind-numbingly boring they may turn out to be— see King Arthur for proof. I read in the paper the other day that the most popular work of poetry being sold today is Homer's Iliad, a heavy tome that nobody, except the odd Classics student, seemed to care about for decades. Then there's Alexander. Based on the life get me som e 0f one f^e mos| powerful leaders in known

G o out, yo u n g p e o p le of A m e ric a , a n d m ore p o w er a n d m ore oil a n d m ore m oney!

living in a time of war. All of the above films appear to advo cate, if not war itself, then the heroism of being part of it and giving one's life for the greater good. Bush wants his people to feel like heroes, just like Alexander, Achilles, and Spiderman. G o out, young p e o p le o f Am erica, a n d g et me som e more

'- 1

history, Alexander the Great (played by Colin Farrell) managed to conquer 9 0 per cent of the known world before he turned 25. W h at a hero! So much like that other great tyrant, America! And did I mention that the army he will be fighting is that of those evil Persians? That's right, the people from the country known today as Iran, Bush's next potential target in his "heroic” W a r on Terror. Caesar Augustus is another great historical hero. He is said

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jU U E PETERS

to be the first politician to use the mass media to boost his own popularity. He put his face on the sides of Roman coins so that his soldiers knew just where their cash was coming from. He associated himself with prosperity, brainwashing his people into thinking they needed w ar in order to achieve peace. Bush, on the other hand, is clearly a raving idiot, and yet he has the sup port of 4 7 per cent of the American people— at least in the polls. M aybe he hasn't managed to put his face on the back of the dollar bill, but he's plastered his ideologies all over Hollywood, the McDonald's of fast and cheap brainwashing. It is unclear, however, whether or not Bush has stuck his greasy hands into the world of Hollywood. M aybe the American people really do need to see these movies, to feel that they are a part of a legacy of heroic killers w ho give it all up for the good of the world. O r maybe it's ol' Dubya who really wants to see these movies, to make himself feel better about being a terrorist who claims to be fighting terrorism. W e'll have to see what kind of movies Hollywood starts pumping out if Kerry wins the election on November 2. Is there a genre that goes along with girlie men? ■

the mcgill tribune [26.10.04 | a&e 2 5

usic

P R E V I

E W S .... FILM. G h o st in the Shell 2 : Innocence—Cinem a du Parc— 3755 avenue du Parc— Begins October 29. This sequel to the original anime classic, which headlines this month's listings at Cinéma du Parc, proves that the anime genre is capable of more than cheap jokes and stereotypes. Based in the year 2 0 3 2 , many of our present fears are realized in Innocence, as gov ernment-made cyborg detectives serve on a covert anti terrorism unit. W h e n one malfunctions, protagonist Batou investigates. The technology that's been pumped into this film, along with an intriguing plotline, has already spurred claims that G host in the Shell 2 is an

The Industrial Revolution M in is t r y

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MELISSA "MKMDP" PRICE U

nleashing a fury of stomping, crashing, banging, smashing, and a healthy dose of contempt for the state of American politics, industrial rock prototypes Ministry and K M FD M invaded Montreal on October 17 and 19, respectively. Armed with more than 2 0 years of music and history each, they proceeded to stir up crowds enough to leave memorable bruises on everyone. Sunday's Ministry show at Metropolis (5 9 rue SteCatherine E.) kicked things off with a twisted sonic mael strom by M y Life W ith The Thrill Kill Kult. Channelling Bmovies and providing plenty of dialogue clips, they played a sex, drugs, and devils set full of danceable beats and plenty of clanging. The set climaxed with the creepy "After the Flesh," from The C ro w soundtrack, riling the crowd for the oncoming Ministry assault. From the moment that thrashy riffs overwhelmed the sample from Carmina Burana on Ministry's latest single, "N o W ," the crowd exploded. A guy in a grinning Dubya mask waved from the stage as the real Bush's voice inno cently spit out soundbytes about "fighting evil" and frontman Al Jourgensen rasped lyrics of animosity. Ministry has a long history of Bush condemnation. W h en they later played their 1992 single " N .W . O . ," the voice of Bush Sr. stating, "W ha t w e are looking at is good and evil, right and wrong," raised alarming comparisons. Jourgensen, dressed in at least 10 armbands accom panied by an ironic grin, led the fist-pumping masses through a double-encore set of flaying industrial metal, spanning their career from their most recent album, Houses o f the M o lé , to classics like the redneck-bashing closing track "Jesus Built M y Hotrod." KMFDM's show on Tuesday was in the heart of the Plateau (Cabaret La Tulipe, 4 5 3 0 Papineaul and involved more people in vinyl and 14-inch heels than Ministry's fol lowing, but the feelings were the same. Unfortunately, the night got off to a subdued start as openers DJ Acucrack came to the slow realization that it's a terrible idea to try to

"instant classic."

N U C LEA R B LA ST.D E

They're only p osin g calmly—see them storm on stage! win over a crowd of dour kids in black with electronica. Especially if it mixes in samples from recent club hits. And esp ecia lly if the electronica in question is also very, very bad. Thankfully, the two guys playing with their iMacs final ly got the message, thanked the three people dancing, and let K M FD M take the stage. Their name, for anyone interest ed, stands for "Kein Mehrheit Fur Die Mitleid," which means "no pity for the majority" in loosely translated Germ an. The ensuing onslaught of audio brutality left noth ing to be desired. The co-vocalists, mohawked Sasha Konietzko and military-chic goddess Lucia Cifarelli, shred ded their vocal chords over blips, clanks, and a whole lot of machinery goodness. Their newest album, VWVIII, is less overtly political than Ministry's, but sardonic lyrics such as "W orld W a r Three/Be all that you can be" and a song called "Moron" make their feelings quite clear. Ministry and K M FD M helped build the industrial genre and have also, over the years, shifted a w ay and expand ed it. Their cynically anarchistic shows in the past week have proven quite conclusively that music as pounding dis sent remains both relevant and pow erful.»

M USIC. Mouse on M ars— Cabaret Music H a l l 21 11 boul. St-Laurent— October 26. Attention fans of dreamy, experimental, mind expanding electronica: go see Germany's Mouse on Marsl This duo has been releasing dynamic records for over 10 years, which is quite an achievement in the experimental genre which seems to change as rapidly as the weather. So come check this fusion of jazz, ambience, jungle, and dub beats, which promises to be an unearthly experience. THEATRE. Burnt Piano—Centaur Theatre— 453 rue St. Francois-Xavier— October 26 to December 5. The Centaur Theatre rarely disappoints. Beginning this week, it presents Australian playwright Justin Fleming, as he explores the inner trenches of the human mind in this spellbinding, complex performance. W hen Karen discovers a past tragedy of her life, she goes on an existential journey to find Samuel Beckett, the genius behind W aiting for G o d o t, to help her discover the meaning of her life. Along with this unusual story, Fleming, who's written several other acclaimed stage shows, incorporates humorous banter in this witty and intelligent play. M USIC. Beyond the Pale— Redpath Hall— 3461 rue McTavish-October 30 at 8pm. U p for a night of Klezmer/Yiddish/Folk/Original Roots music? Then hop on over to Redpath Hall Saturday evening for an enthralling show, brought to you by Hello Darlin Productions. Promoting their latest release, Consensus, Beyond the Pale incorporates a range of instruments, from violin to accordion to clarinet to the manocello, to produce a sound that the San Francisco Jewish N e w s called "a delightful musical jour ney."

“Absolutely stunning... boasting dazzlingly evocative sequences.

O s h ii’s v is io n i s c e r t a in ly im p r e s s iv e e n o u g h

f o r t h is v ie w e r to w a n t to go b a c k f o r m o re .” Midnight Eye - Jasper Sharp “ A s t u n n in g a c h ie v e m e n t o f 2 1 s t C e n t u r y a n im e .” Animation Magazine Patrick Drazen

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S U B JE C T TO C LA S S IF IC A T IO N

STARTSFRIDAY, OCTOBER29THAT

and 31 at 9pm. "If you're horny and you know it bang the bars!" Break out your dominatrix garb, complete with leather underwear, torn stockings and whip, and stroll down to Shatner for this classic Halloween fare. Be warned: this is not your usual theatrical performance. W hile the orig inal 1975 film, The Rocky Horror Picture S h o w , plays on a big screen above, a cast of 3 0 actors will whisk you a w a y into the crazy underworld of freaky fellows. Hosted by Montreal glam-rock sensation Plastik Patrik, this event is sure to captivate the masses, as madness... takes its toll. ART. Le Dernier C ri—Galerie Clark— 5545 avenue de Gaspe # 1 1 4 — on until November 20. Graphic artists Caroline Sury and Pakito Bolino present Le Dernier C ri, which means both "the latest fash ion" and "the last gasp." The underground culture that enlivens the graffiti-like poster-prints, books, video pro ductions, and original drawings made for a remarkable vernissage at its opening at Galerie Clark. The artworks signify often depressing themes such as death, disease, and incest, in a manner that is at once subtle and inyour-face. Nevertheless, all the works scream for free dom and unity in a world gone awry.

W hen m achin es learn to feel, w ho d ecid es w hat

C A N N E S

THEATRE. Karma's Rocky Horror S h o w — Live!— Shatner Ballroom— 3480 rue McTavish— October 30

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M USIC. Incubus and The Music— Bell Centre— 1260 rue de la Gauchetiere O . — October 31. The sound that grunge/alt-rock group Incubus pro duces has the distinct quality of sounding just as good at a small acoustic show as at a large venue. The latter option is what they have in store for Montreal crowds this Halloween Sunday at the B e ll Centre. Their first album, Drive, showcased tracks with some of the most original lyrics and themes ever explored. Their latest release, A C ro w Left O f the M urder, lacks none of this style. Opening for them is rising rock band The Music, whose uplifting beats are reminiscent of 19 7 0 s some what psychedelic classics like The W ho's "Sparks." Both bands are worth the cost of the ticket. C R E D IT S - D E M O N E C A T .F R E E .F R ; F L O W E R B O O K I N G .C O M ; A L Y O N .O R G ; H O U R .C A ; U S .E N T 2 .Y IM G .C O M

B E Y O N D T H E P A L E .C O M ;

26 a&e |26.10.04 |the mcgill tribune

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ven though last M onday dished out the first evening worthy of mitten-wearing this season, the scene was warm and cozy among the 200-odd people at Cabaret Music Hall on boulevard St-Laurent. Fans eagerly awaited the headlining act, Pinback, a five-man outfit hailing from San Diego that's highly touted among the legions of indie-rock fans. Since the 1998 release of their first album, This is Pinback, the band has maintained its repertoire by touring extensively and putting out EPs laden with great musicality. The one-night stint at Cabaret gave Pinback an opportunity to present Montreal rock fans with their brand new album, Summer in A b a d d o n , and kicked off an extensive two-month North American tour. Pinback opened with "Microtonic W ave," a song from their previous album, O ffcell. They continued with singles from their new record, setting an excellent groove that invit ed loud applause from the appreciative audience. The incredible harmonizing drew attention aw ay from the notes being played, instead creating a dreamy vibe punctuated by fluid lyrics and a melodic texturing of sounds. Tracks were not only unique in a musical sense, but also unorthodox in their composition, in that the verse-chorus-verse structure was replaced by wistful lines of poetry. Although the musicians were shy overall, vocalists Rob C ro w and A.B. Smith maintained an intimate vibe by engag ing crowd members in witty dialogues with topics ranging from Batman villains to stuffed Octopus dolls. The perform ance itself, true to its West Coast tradition, never skipped a beat, and Pinback ensured that they balanced harder pieces such as "AFK" with melodic jams like "Soaker" and "The Red Book."

BENJI FELDMAN Pinback provides an atmospheric break for their fans. Despite occasional chants of "dance, dance, dance, people," the crowd was subdued for the most part. Content with enjoying the music, many patrons chose to grab a seat and a drink. But they all came alive as C ro w launched into a punchy bassline during the last and most well-known track of the night, "Penelope," and continued cheering until the band came back out for an encore. In just over an hour, Pinback unleashed an aural experience that echoed the sounds of great atmospheric bands of the past, such as the Grateful Dead, and, more recently, Radiohead. They left the audience with a sound that is unique not only in its lyrics and songwriting, but also in its ability to cre ate and layer new sounds on the solid foundation of bassdriven rock. ■

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M a t h e m a t ic a l m o m e n ts P r o o f g iv e s

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o, Hal, what do you do for sex?" Catherine asks, unleashing for the first time a glimpse of her inner siren, through the auspices of a slinky, black party dress. M idw ay through the first act of Proof, these characters are still revealing themselves to one another, stripping aw ay layers of sarcasm, anxiety, fear and confusion to arrive at a language to which they can both relate— that's right, mathematics— and, of course, sex. Proof, as it turns out, is not really about math, but about people and the w ay they interact with each other and cope with their own feelings. At the centre is Catherine, a mathematical whiz kid who has put her education on hold to care for her father Robert, once also a math genius. However, he grew mentally ill and finally, just before the play opens, dies from heart failure. Catherine is left to deal with her father's ominous legacy, both mental and mathematical, and her fears that she, too, might descend into madness. At the same time, she contends with the overbearing ministrations of her sister, Claire, and navi gates the waters of her relationship with Hal, a former student of her father's convinced that mathematical gold hides some where in the senseless scribblings of Robert's insanity. The details of the story are too good to give away. Proof is the kind of play that should be required viewing, especial ly since its cast, under the direction of Leora Morris, is excel lent. In particular, Jessica Besser-Rosenberg does a fantastic job of layering Catherine's emotions to portray the complexi ty of genius and the confusion of a woman whose world has changed and who is striving to find someone she can relate to. Besser-Rosenberg delivers sarcastic lines with the perfect amount of snarkiness, conveying Catherine's irritation with the

VLAD EREMIN people around her, but also hinting at her vulnerability and sadness. Joel Fishbone gives Hal's earnest math-geekiness an endearing quality, and supplies Hal's desires— for Catherine and for the perfect proof— with just the right amount of urgency. Adrienne Grafton's Claire is a nice counter-tone to Catherine— well put-together, highly concerned and meddle some, and content with her view of the w a y the world should be. Finally, G a b e Cam ozzi plays Robert with the kind of intensity that perfectly conveys both genius and madness. Proof is well staged and extremely well acted, the kind of play where even math becomes a medium through which people discover things about themselves and each other. ■ Proof is Tuesday N ight C a fe theatre's 2 0 0 4 / 2 0 0 5 season opener, currently playing in M orrice Hail (3 9 8 .6 6 0 0 1 .

the mcgill tribune | 2 6 .1 0 .0 4 | a&e 2 7

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DAVE BARBER T

he world as w e know it no longer exists. The Apocalypse has come, and in its wake humanity is nearing extinction. The few survivors are destitute hangers-on, holed up inside bunkers. N o , it's not midterms at M cG ill. It's the first production of the 2 0 0 4 -2 0 0 5 season at Players Theatre. For his directorial debut, Philip M cKee has ambitiously chosen to stage Samuel Beckett's Endgam e, a psychological ly stirring and philosophically-minded piece. Those looking

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for an easy evening at the theatre, be w a ry — this is intense theatre at its most raw. In the shadow of a nuclear winter, Endgam e presents the inane goings-on of the blind and infirm Hamm, his man-ser vant Clov, and his garbage can-dwelling parents, Nell and N a g g . Despite his inadequacies, Hamm, admirably por trayed by G eorge Mougias, conducts the affairs of the day with the willing yet begrudged help of Clov, played to mechanical perfection by Dylan G eorge. W hile those affairs are often as simple as wheeling the patriarchally-inclined Hamm about their 15x15 foot cell, the back-and-forth banter between the leads and their idle scrutiny of everything in their custody adds some colour to the squalour. Yet with the spectre of death lurking perpetually around the corner, their situation steals the weight of any of the char acters' words. "It's finished" is the opening line of the play, a confusing statement in its context yet true to the existentialist theme of absurdity. In a world where beginnings are endings and existence is cyclical, as seen in the constant repetition of speech and action that echoes throughout the performance, the human condition comes to be seen as utterly meaning less. N o amount of storytelling and joking can elevate these poor souls above their repititious nightmare— salvation can only come with an end that they are forever denied. So for those of you locked in midterm hell, forced indoors by the early onset of winter and confined to the grey tiers of McLennan by your books, embrace the end. W h a t now seems absurd will all be over soon. And when it is, grab some friends and go see Endgam e. Even if the deep thoughts are too much for your burnt-out mind, the grim future por trayed in Beckett's desolate writing should make your forth coming Halloween party that much more enticing. ■

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CLARA SCHWARZ he Museum of Contemporary Art at Place des Arts has opened its doors to three superb exhibitions not to be missed. The exhibitions feature the following artists:

Edward Burtynsky and M anufactured Landscape Do you consider tailings of nickel, copper, or uranium to be amazingly beautiful? Through his exhibit M anufactured La nd scap e, C anadian photographer Edward Burtynsky proves the odd beauty of these landscapes altered by human activity. As a spectator to this incredible series of pictures, one deep-under is bound to feel revolted by such exploitation of nature on such a large-scale basis. Yet Burtynsky is an accom plished artist, and the photos presented are not necessarily meant to be political but simply artistic. Each and every theme, whether it is railways, mines, quarries, recycling sites, or refineries, is bizarrely poetic, and fools the spectator. At first glance, these scenes which are actually modified by human hands seem to be the product of nature. A marble quarry in Italy, for example, bears extreme resemblance to a typical snowy landscape; an old ferrous pile is the very image of M ont Royal in autumn. But when reading the etiquette on the side, one is simply amazed by the reality. Isaac Julien British artist Isaac Julien offers a series of three short films each presented on three large screens. Each of them explores the theme of the black community. True North is about Matthew Henson, the first black explorer to reach the North Pole. The images of icy hills con trasted with fluid African waterfalls, and the appearance of Inuits side-by-side with the explorer (who, in fact, is played by a female), represent connections between diverse people, making it really "a small world after all." Furthermore, playing with three wide screens gives the viewer the impression of fol lowing the explorer on his icy trip. Paradise O m eros, the second movie, was inspired by the book O m eros, written by Caribbean poet Derek Walcott. In this film, Julien presents Achille, Walcott's protagonist, on a

CD . Dirty History by ABK Dirty History is one of those albums that doesn't come around often. ABK manages to create a very unique perspective in the ubiquitous rap community. ABK, whose acronym stands for "Anybody Killa," can only be described as making "Aboriginal gangsta rap." That's a term you don't hear often— or ever— but ABK is presently making quite a name for himself in the ever-expanding

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Aboriginal rap scene, along with more established artists such as Shadowyze and Tac Tile. Here's a bit of background information. ABK is the newest mem ber of the Psychopathic Records family, which also includes Insane Clow n Posse, Twiztid, and Dark Lotus. Dirty History is his second solo album following 2 003's Hatchet W arrior a nd his guest appearance on Insane Clow n Posse's The W raith: Shangri-La. Despite every single track being written in a homicidal "ride or die" style, each adopts a unique quality of its own. An original twist in both lyrics and sound produce an intense, yet at the same time humor ous, listening experience. In addition to his originality, ABK deserves major props for continuing to rap despite an obvious lisp. Aboriginal rap may still be in its infancy, but the genre is sure to hit a wide audience in the very near future. —Devin M ontgom ery CD . Hell's Pit by Insane Clown Posse Insane Clow n Posse is just great. As a band, they've raised themselves above the rest of the whiny rap-rock masses not through good lyrics, not by creating innovative and catchy beats, but by wearing clown makeup! They apparently have a large enough fanlaase to have given them the moniker "Juggalos," but this album does a terrible job of explaining why. Actually, that's not entirely true— never underestimate the response of depressed 15^/ear-olds to lyrics such as "I dream about cuttin' heads off with a shovel." If it weren't for the occasional slightly interesting intro, it would actually be impossible to tell where one song ends and the next begins. They're that indistinguishable. As far as I can tell, every song is about killing several people and then yourself, which is clearly a rel evant and pervasive message to get across. Seriously, though, it's pretty alarming that a band that wrote a song called "Bowling Balls,” about collecting severed heads, has a large following. I understand satire. I understand getting aggression out through music. I even understand how some of their lyrics could speak to people— some people. But I do not, and will never, understand how a band that has made six albums about exactly the same pit of homicidal despair, no matter how ironic, could ever be considered "good." Particularly when the music itself is, for lack of a better word, crap. —M elissa Price CD . B lo o d M o n e y by Dead Celebrity

NPAT.EFAULT.NET voyage from Saint Lucia to England, and back to the island. It is a discovery of the Self and of the larger black communi ty, subtly introducing themes of masstourism, racism, immigra tion, and colonization. Julien throws in strong emotions as well as paradisiacal Caribbean sceneries. In the end, the artist suggests that life is a constant battle between love and hate: which one wins is for you to figure out. Baltimore, the final movie showcased, explores the cari catured gestures and iconography of 19 7 0 s black movies. The science-fictional scenario is at times confusing, but the mix between past and modernity, the real and the exaggerated, history and myth, results in an intriguing vision. Laurent Pilon and Le cri muet d e la matière Q uebec sculptor Laurent Pilon is very picky in his choice of material. This is because the artist focuses on the threedimensional forms he creates as much as on the colour and texture the material offers. In the featured exhibition, Pilon dis plays his obsession with modern materials— specifically, poly ester resin and additives. The modernity of the material, how ever, is in stark contrast with the forms and colours of the final product because it strangely resembles aboriginal art. Pilon does not display a particular theme in this exhibition— the cho sen material has a life of its own, and does not need to be processed and shaped a thousand times to express its natural

Status It's so ironic it's sad. B lo o d M o n e y s opening track, "W e Fall, W e Fall," urgently repeats the lyrics, "The harder they come, the harder they fall," and that's basically a perfect summation of the entire album. The song is meant to reject the music busi ness and its phony images, advertis ing, ■and music videos, which could be cool and "activist-y." That is, if not for the fact that Dead Celebrity Status is the epitome of who and what they're shitting on. It quickly becomes apparent to the listener that this group is a pure creation of tne music bigwigs in an attempt to encourage our disillu sioned youth to spend their money at record stores. A quick flip through the liner notes reveals that D C S were signed by W arner Records — nope, not corporate at all— and have the help of a super producer as well as established stars including Tw iggy Ramirez, Joss Stone, and Dave Navarro. Despite all this effort, all D C S "creates" is an album filled with unoriginal rhymes based on name-dropping, bits of cheesy emo-rap that sound like a diluted, desicated version of Atmosphere, and a few heavy metal riffs. For a brief moment, let's be optimistic about B lood M on ey. There is one slightly redeeming feature, brought by DJ Dopey and his turnta bles on tracks including "Five Deadly Fingers" and "Back to '8 8 ," which brings a creepy, airy feeling to those songs. Save for DJ Dopey's presence, this album sucks. There's no better word. So if you're a quadruple-platinum-artist-hating, M TV- and MuchMusic-loathing, corporate-smashing individual, stay far, far aw ay from Dead Celebrity Status. —Scott Sam eroff

beauty. ■ The exhibitions at the M u sée d'Art Contemporain de M ontreal will continue until January 9, 2 0 0 5 .

CREDITS: CDUNIVERSE.COM; INSANECLOWNPOSSE.COM; CHARTATTACK.COM

sports RUGBY - RE DME N

56, S H E R B R O O K E

Ruggers co n fid en t entering playoffs R e d m e n w r a p u p u n d e f e a t e d s e a s o n w it h c o n v in c in g w in o v e r V e r t & FREDERIC GAUTHIER The Redmen rugby team continued its torrid pace in Q uebec Student Sport Federation rugby action Sunday at the sunny confines of Molson Stadium, eas ily disposing of the Sherbrooke Vert & O r by a score of 5 6 -1 0 . The ruggers are undefeated in regular season play for the third straight year after having also beaten C o nco rdia on W ednesday. Despite resting several of

Sherbrooke capitalized on a M cG ill miscue shortly thereafter when the Redmen backs tried to put the ball into touch, but failed to kick it out of bounds, giving the Vert & O r the sideline to return the ball. But this try was as close as Sherbrooke would come to com peting with the Red V White. The Redmen took advantage of several defensive mistakes by the visiting squad and got two more scores, with scrum half lain Evans taking advantage of the strong

M cG ill w ill face Sherbrooke a g ain this w eek in the Q S S F sem i-final, but the Redmen can 't be faulted if they look past the Vert & O r an d to w ards the fin a l.

their starters for this game, the Redmen came out with great intensity in the first half against their weaker opponent. "Since our tougher game of this past week w as against Concordia, w e used this match to rest up some of our guys for next week," admitted scrum half Chris Knutson. "The real test for us will come in a couple of weeks." Nonetheless, the Redmen still wanted to win this one to cap a perfect season, and came out with a strong forward presence. Despite its smaller stature, the pack dominated the rucks and mauls early on, and put the team in a position to open things up offensively. Captain O liver Lyttelyton w as the beneficiary, opening the scoring with the first of his two tries.

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play of his teammates in the mauls around the try line on both scores. The Vert & O r made the half respectable with a late score after a M cG ill player was sent off the field for unsportsmanlike conduct, leaving the Redmen short one player until the break. The Redmen, with several dropped balls within their opponents' 10metre line, shot themselves in the foot and could have had a much larger lead at halftime than the 2 4 -1 0 score on the board. It looked as though the Redmen had corrected their men tal mistakes in the dressing room when they returned from the break, as M cG ills backs explod ed with six tries and 32 points. Pat W eldon and John Reed high lighted the second-half play when

they scored two tries apiece on electrifying runs. "O ur backs really stepped it up in the second half," Head C oach Sean McCaffrey stated. M cG ill will face Sherbrooke again this week in the Q SSF semi-final, but the Redmen can't be faulted if they look past the Vert & O r and towards the final. "The real challenge will come when w e know who we are going to be playing," M cCaffrey declared. "It's those teams (Bishop's and Concordia) that are going to set the tone for our plan of attack. Both teams play completely different styles." Knutson echoed the coach's stance on their future opponents. "W e have had many close games with both teams this year and whoever w e end up playing will be a tough match," he said. Despite the lopsided score of the game, M cCaffrey admits that there is still much work to be done. " W e need to be more focused within our opponents' five-metre line and capitalize on the opportunities presented to us," he said. "W e won't be able to make mistakes like that in the final if w e want to win." The Redmen are confident that with the proper strategic plan ning that they will be successful in regaining the Q SSF title. "All I can say is that the final is going to be an interesting matchup," concluded Knutson. The Redmen will be playing their next game against the Vert & O r at Molson Stadium Sunday at 1:00pm . ■

VLADIMIR EREMIN M cG ill pushed past Sherbrooke on its w a y to another undefeated regular season.

Z O N E

R e d S o x n o a ll i a n c e a g a i n s t t h e Evil E m p ir e I t's

O r

universally recognized— the N e w York Yankees are the most hated team in M ajor League Baseball. As for the Boston Red Sox, their role has traditionally been the Yankees' foil— the team for which everyone can root, because they never win. It has been 8 6 years since the Red Sox last claimed the W orld Series, and in that same span, the Yankees have won 2 6 Fall Classics. Therefore, the Red Sox recent victory over the Yankees in the American League Championship Series must be a triumph of the forces of good over evil, right? I think I'll hold my nose, because Red Sox fans reek of hypocrisy. I've heard all the griping and criticism from Sox fans everywhere: "The Yankees just buy championships!" And for many years, Red Sox Nation was right. The Yanks' ability to win championships largely reflected their capacity to splurge on talent. But while celebrating a victory over those vile Bronx Bombers, Boston fans can do me a favour and refrain from bringing up the hackneyed metaphor of David slaying Goliath. Because I can retort with my own cliché— Pot, have you met Kettle? After falling to the Yankees in G am e Seven of last year's ALCS, Red Sox brass emerged with a new, less-than-novel approach to winning the W orld Series— if you can't beat them,

join them. O r at least spend like them. W hile the Red Sox were unable to acquire Alex Rodriguez— even though they were willing to spend $ 150-mil lion over seven years to get him— Boston still dropped plenty of cash this year. For starters, during the off-season, the Red Sox purchased two all-star pitchers, Curt Schilling and Keith Foulke, at a combined cost of $ 15.5-million. But Boston wasn't done yet— they had enough leftover dough to trade for several wellpaid players down the stretch. In fact, Boston was so spend thrift that guys like Dave Roberts, Doug Mientkewicz, and Terry Adams— whose contracts are worth nearly $ 5 .5-million com bined— have barely gotten a sniff of the action, as they are buried behind more expensive players. Is it any coincidence that the Yankees have faced off against the Red Sox in the ALCS the past two years? Could it be perhaps because those two teams have the highest payrolls in baseball? Clearly, there is more than one evil empire in baseball, as both Boston and N e w York are contributing to the ruination of the game. Indeed, how are small-market teams like the Expos supposed to compete against these free spenders? Evidently, the "lovable” Red Sox have played a large role in the disgraceful phenomenon that appears to have turned our

MATT SEGAL

Expos into ex-pats. M y bias here comes from my place as a fan of the Toronto Blue Jays— a team trying to compete in the same league, and, aias, the same division, as the two baseball behemoths. Except my favourite team has a payroll of $48-million. In case you're counting, that's just over a third of the Red Sox's $ 135-million and approximately a quarter of the Yankees' $ 190-million. This may be hard to swallow for Beantowners, but if your team wins the W orld Series, they will have done it the same dirty w a y the Yankees have: by buying their championship. Certainly, one could make the case that the Red Sox and Yankees are best friends rather than bitter rivals, given that imi tation is the highest form of flattery. So if your team does get their championship, Sox fans, you shouldn't expect baseball fans everywhere to come to your victory parade. And if they return home again without clutch ing the Commissioner's Trophy, there will be no tears in my eyes. I am confident the Red Sox will go out and acquire what ever pieces they deem necessary to capture the Series next year. Bostonians can whine all they want, but the Red Sox are identical to the Yankees— save for all the winning. ■

S O C C E R

LAVAL

R E D M E N

the mcgill tribune | 2 6 .1 0 .0 4 | sports 2 9

M c G ill e a r n s h a r d -fo u g h t p o in t dan

McQ u ill a n

With the Quebec conference playoffs and the national champi onship on the horizon, Head Coach Adam M ar was looking for sharp play at both ends of the pitch as the Redmen took on Laval Friday night at Molson Stadium. O ne down, one to

9°The squad was impressive on defence but lacklustre on offence in playing to a 1-1 draw, in a game where both teams came out very ten tatively in the first half before opening things up in the second. The play was so slow that the game's first real scoring chance did n't come until the 27th minute— when Redmen striker James Scholefield spun aw ay from two defenders and unleashed a shot that was deflected w ide— and Laval did n't record a shot on net until the 30minute mark. M ar was impressed with his team's play in that regard, but thought that the Redmen didn't take enough advantage. "I was trying to get them to play with high pressure and high pas sion," he said. "It worked well fore ing turnovers, but I think w e could have executed better." Both M ar and his Laval counter part must have said something inspir ing at halftime, as the second 4 5 minutes were a completely different story. Laval drew first blood just one minute in on a lobbed ball that drift ed into the M cG ill box, where Guillaume Drouin hooked up with it and scored. But the Redmen picked

up their tempo, too. Though Laval surged forward several times looking to increase its cushion, M cGill held the Rouge et O r at bay. The Redmen then turned" the tables and started attacking, knotting the game up in the 74th minute. The Rouge et O r keeper dropped a skied shot inside 18 yards, and striker Nicholas Knowland was on hand to bury a half-volley into the yawning cage. M cGill continued to pepper the Laval goal until the final whistle, but to no avail, and the game ended in a draw. M ar commented on this lack of fortune, which has been a theme for the squad this season. "Luck needs to come to us. W e've hit fourteen [crossjbars and missed a couple of [penalty kicks] of late," he said. However, with their spot in the nationals assured, the most important task M ar faces over the final two reg ular-season games is not winning, but keeping his team motivated. To do that, the bench boss feels the Redmen need to play at the level of their opponents. "W e need to equal their des peration," he said. "They are fighting for the last playoff spots." For his part, Knowland— a secondyear striker from South Portland, M a in e — believes that his team's struggles will work themselves out in crunch time. "These guys have the experi ence and they know how to take on situations like this," he said. "Everyone needs to do it in their own way." ■

FOOTBALL - REDMEN

F F

T H E

B E A T E N

P A T H

T h e U lt im a t e s p o r t F u n w i t h F r is b e e s ! NATALIE GOLDENBERG-FIFE

kay everyone, class is in session. It is time w e take a moment to learn about the finest game nobody knows about. So we're going to have a lesson on the wonderful sport of Ultimate Frisbee. Ultimate is played by an estimated 1 0 0 ,0 0 0 people in over 5 0 countries worldwide, including many of us here at M cG ill. A lot of people like throwing a disc around, but w e certainly don't seem to give Ultimate its due as a legitimate sport. W e can't have that anymore. The sport's roots stem from US college campuses in the '60s, and was based around a combination of football and basketball rules. The original game allowed running with the disc, and includ ed lines of scrimmage and a series of downs. Ultimate has evolved into its current form and now only the fittest survive. I started playing Ultimate for M cG ill last year as a member of M cG ill Ultimate Frisbee Female. After six years of playing rugby and enduring the battle wounds that came with it, I decided it was time to try an activity that didn't require a mouth guard or taped ears. W h a t I found in Ultimate is, well, everything I could possibly want in a sport. Ultimate demands a high level of fitness and coor dination, so the physical challenges and rewards are there. But more importantly, Ultimate attracts a wide range of people w ho just love

PATRICK FOK

29, M O U N T A L L I S O N

M c G ill m o u n ts a c h a r g e o n e a s t c o a s t P a s s in g , r u n n in g , a n d

k ic k in g

g a m e s

a ll fir in g

R e d m e n

w in

ANDREW SEGAL If only the M cG ill Redmen could play an interlocking game every weekend. The Red 'n' W hite improved to 4-0 alktime in games against oppo nents from Atlantic University Sport, with their latest victim the Mount Allison Mounties, whom the Redmen defeated 2 9 -13 on Saturday in Sackville, N e w Brunswick. The inter locking matchups between the Quebec University Football League and A U S were first instituted in 2 0 0 2 , and since that time M cGill has defeated Mount Allison (twice), Acadia, and St. Francis-Xavier. Kicker Robert Eeuwes led the charge for the Redmen, booting five field goals in the game, including three in the first quarter. Those kicks, from distances of 2 4, 31, and 34 yards, gave the Redmen a 9 -0 lead after 15 minutes. The Redmen especially needed Eeuwes's strong performance, as they began the day without ailing first-string quarterback Matt Connell. Veteran backup Philippe Cantin start ed the game, but went just 4 for 15 for 9 9 yards before Connell was able to enter the contest midway through the second quarter. The second^/ear pivot went to work soon after, though, completing a 4 7 yard touchdown pass to Rob LeBlanc with just over two minutes left in the half, propelling the Redmen into the lock er room with a 16-3 advantage. Connell kept up his strong play in the third quarter, hitting Eric

COURTESY OF KIRSTEN NILES

COURTESY OF MOUNT ALLISON UNIVERSITY ATHLETICS Mt. A celebrated this score, but not much else, in the Redmen's win. Gallaw ay in the end zone from four yards out with 8 :1 7 left in the peri od, responding to a Mount Allison touchdown earlier in the frame that came on a oneyard plunge by quar terback Jon Hachey. Gallow ay's catch, the first score of his career, combined with two more field goals, pushed the M cGill advantage to 2 9 -1 0 after three. The Mounties rounded out the scoring with a fourth-quarter field goal. Despite only playing two and a half quarters, Connell finished with excellent numbers, completing 13 of 2 0 passes for 205 yards in helping M cGill roll up 23 first downs and 4 3 4 yards of net offence. Running back Michael Samman also put in a solid effort, gaining 106 yards on 18 carries. Leading the w ay for the

Redmen receiving corps was Greg Hetherington, who had six catches totaling 102 yards, followed closely by LeBlanc, who hauled in three passes for 82 yards. The win clinched a playoff spot for the 4-3 Redmen, who are now tied with Concordia for third place in the QUFL. With their place in the post-season ensured, the squad heads into next week's contest against the Université de Montréal Carabins with nothing to lose, hop ing to pull off an upset and give themselves a chance to finish third in the conference. However, the Redmen might not want to give too much away: should Montréal pre vail, M cGill would face the topranked Carabins again the follow ing week in the first round of the playoffs. ■

to get out and throw a disc around. It's intense athletic competition, but in a laid back setting. Some people play in regular athletic attire; some w ear skirts or even costumes. In fact, there will usually be at least one person or team that wears no clothes at some point during a tournament— usually at the party, and usually an American. But to clarify a gross misconception, Ultimate is not a hippie sport reserved for pot smokers. There may be a few more hippietypes on the Ultimate pitch than on the soccer one, but to play this game at a high level, you have to be in excellent physical shape. The fact is, Ultimate is so unique it attracts a different kind of athlete. M arion Van Horn, one of M UFF's captains, explains: "Everything about the sport is great. It's like no other. Team dynamics are incredible. I've never been on a Frisbee team where I didn't love everyone on the team. It's true that Frisbee attracts a certain type of person, and they are all usually cool, fun, spirited, outgoing people." Ultimate is just a different kind of sport altogether. W hile it is physically demanding, the sport and its athletes don't take them selves so seriously, the w a y other sports do. For example, take its unique lingo, like "chilly," which means to relax and take some time with the disc before throwing it. O r look at the fact that w e play co ed tournaments— something you're unlikely to find anywhere other than an equestrian competition. This welcoming atmosphere comes to M cG ill every September, when w e host over 2 0 0 players for a co-ed competition. W e just provide St. Viateur bagels, some barbecue, and a place to hang out on Saturday night, and everyone goes home happy. But we're not all party, either. This year the M UFF girls had their most successful season yet. Last month in O ttaw a, w e claimed our first regional championship, beating Queen's University 1 3-3 in the final. Then two weekends ago, w e placed third at the national cham pionships, our highest finish ever. The men also had themselves a strong year, beating the University of Toronto in their final game to take fifth place in the country. Things are looking up for Ultimate, at M cG ill and worldwide. So grab a disc and come join the party. ■

S O C C E R - M A R T L E T S 4, L AVAL 0

3 0 sports | 26.10.04 j the mcgill tribune

M a r t le t s t a k e flig h t e a r ly

C P R A w a re n e s s M o n th November is CPR awareness month, so why not take a course in First Aid and CPR?

McGill First Aid is offering the following courses this semester: Standard First Aid and CPR: November 13th & 21st (both days), $80 Standard First Aid Recertification: November 21st, $65 Emergency First Aid and CPR: November 7th, $65 CPR: November 7th, $55 For more information, please email us at firstaidcourses@hotmail.com.

□ Don't forget your breakfast cards!*

P lM

B reakfast & More

□ Hamburger cards 224 RUE MILTON Montréal (Québec) H2X 1V6 T. : (514) 285-0011 *Not valid Sat., Sun., & Holidays

H O URS Weekdays Weekends Holidays

12 Stamps for free breakfast

7am to 4:30pm 8am to 4:30pm 8am to 3pm

Downward dog days'?

F lu r r y o f g o a l s

c lin c h e s

MELANIE MACDONALD O n ly four minutes and 32 sec onds had elapsed in Friday's game between Laval and M c G ill, and already the Rouge et O r goalkeeper was retrieving the ball from the back of her team's net. Veteran Danielle Day was just the first of three Martlets to score in the opening 15 minutes as M c G ill trounced Laval 4 -0 at Molson Stadium. The win, combined with Université de Montréal's loss to Concordia, gives the Martlets a fivepoint cushion over second place in the Q uebec conference with only two games remaining. M cG ill didn't let up following that opening marker. Just five minutes later, Martlet fans experienced a sense of déjà vu as Day repeated the same actions that led to her first goal. Attacking both times from the right side, Day cut across a disheveled defender, and from in between the 1 8and six-yard boxes hammered the ball into the far corner of the net. Next, midfielder Eloise Vandal continued the Martlet domination. Following an attempt by Jen Scanzano, Vandal capitalized on a chance, putting M cG ill ahead 3-0 in the 1 1th minute. The Martlets then capped off their offensive outburst with the most enter taining goal of the night. The Laval defence seemed to focus on the possi bility that Alanna M aloney was off side, forgetting about their assign ments and complaining as the senior

v ic t o r y

a fte r

1 5 m in u t e s

midfielder lined up to sail a shot into the top çorner of the net. Despite the Rouge et O r protests, no whistle blew as the referee and linesmen deemed the play onside. The scoreboard adjusted to read 4 -0 , a differential that would not change over the ensuing 7 5 minutes. After the first 15 minutes, the tempo shifted, and the game became disorganized on both sides of the field. Day explained that it was hard to maintain the drive and high energy with which the Martlets began the game, and that this carried into the second half. "It's difficult to keep your momen tum up when the game is basically over after 15 minutes," she said. "And because of that, w e had a problem in the second half— w e became too defensive, and w e just weren't attack ing. I'm sure the score would have been different had w e kept up the attacking that happened in the first 2 0 minutes of the first half." Perhaps this would have been the case had the Martlets not also con stantly shifted players onto the field. Head C oach M arc Mounicot, seeing that his players had clinched the win after the first half, took the opportunity to let new players see some field time. He noted that the on-field confusion came as a result of that decision. "W e looked a little disorganized in the second half, and it w as obvious ly not as good as the first one," Mounicot said. "But when you sub in seven new players, of course it's going to bring some disorganization to the

PATRICK FOK field. "But, what can I say? W e won 40 . It's never happened before. In seven years [the Martlets] have never beaten Laval 4 -0 ," he added, smiling. W hile the second half of Friday night's game might have been disap pointing, the Martlets proved that they need only 15 minutes to make history, and are one step closer to a national championship berth as a result. ■

T WO- P OI NT CONVERSION

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R e g is t e r in C lie n t S e r v ic e s T h e M c G ill S p o r t s C e n tre 4 7 5

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MOHIT ARORA Red Sox Nation is alive and kick ing these days, with their beloved team up 2-0 as the Series heads back to St. Louis. Millions tuned in to watch Boston come back and defeat the N e w York Yankees, and are now wait ing to see if the Red Sox can fully exor cise their alcohol-loving, skirt-chasing, h o t-d o g -e a t in g ,h o m e -r u n -h it t in g demons. An outsider may credit all this bandwagon-jumping to the Curse and all of the hoopla surrounding that, but that does nothing for me. I get sick of all that 1918 talk. I like these Red Sox for one reason. These guys have some great hair. Let's start with Pedro Martinez, doing his best imitation of OutKast's Andre 3 0 0 0 . I have nothing but love for someone who can rock the jherri curl the w a y he does. He probably didn't even hear the "who's your daddy" chants in Yankee Stadium because they were blocked out by the sound of hair product dripping on his shoulders. Do you think he uses some of that oil to doctor the ball, like a modern-day spitball? C a n you even imagine what kind of movement a jherri-ball would have on it? O r maybe he messes with the other pitcher by getting oil all over the rosin bag, turn ing it from a powder into a gooey paste. W ould that get a pitcher off his game or what? Either way, it's refresh ing to see a guy g o out and bust his butt on the mound, all the while look ing like he might start reciting Ezekiel 2 5 :1 7 from Pulp Fiction.

f o r ( b a s e b a ll) m e n

But if you want to get Biblical about this, w e need to look no further than Jesus Christ, Baseball Star him self, centrefielder Johnny Damon. He looks like the kind of person that would be friends with a volleyball. M a ybe he wasn't stranded on a beach, but he looks like he might have recently been discovered in an iceberg. He's defi nitely got the "unfrozen caveman" look going for him. If nothing else, his look gets people's attention, right? And while that's a great thing when you're hitting grand slams in G a m e 7 of the ALCS, I bet Damon wished he wasn't so conspicuous when he was mired in his 3-for-29 slump to start the series. Playing alongside Damon is leftfielder M anny Ramirez, also known as Sideshow Manny. Manny's hair has always been something of a canvas. He has had it short, long, straight, curly, corn-rowed, and now he just has a big mass of hair that he tries in vain to stuff under his baseball cap every game. I, for one, am glad that he gets his hair done at the same place as Carrot Top. But the captain of the All-Hair team has to be Bronson Arroyo. Have corn rows ever looked more out of place than they do on him? Here's a white guy, 6 '5 " and about 115 pounds, with braids and a skull cap under his hat. The guy looks like Bo Derek on acid. I would love to see him try to get tough and let the corn rows out, Ben W allace style, only to find out that he has the same type of hair as Kyle from South Park. I know it seems like a petty, arbi trary reason to cheer for a team, but

ESPN.COM Pedro: "Say hello to my little friend." hey, I'm a petty, arbitrary kind of guy. I just think it would be a lot more fun to watch these guys celebrate, with Arroyo trying to secure a place in G Unit, Damon serving brontosaurus burgers in the clubhouse, and Pedro partying with his best friend, 28-inchtall Dominican actor Nelson de la Rosa. Beware, St. Louis Cardinals. You may have a great lineup filled with big bats, but you're trying to take down a team with fanfare and momentum on their side. If only they can get their bat ting helmets to stay on. ■

the mcgill tribune | 26 .1 0 .0 4 | sports 31

S T A N DI N G S SO C C ER (M) FOOTBALL

PTS

SO CCER (W )

PTS

M O N TR É A L

McGILL

M O N TR É A L

LAVAL

M O N TR É A L

LAVAL

SHERB.

CONCORD.

UQÀM

LAVAL

M c G ill

McGILL

SHERB.

UQ TR

UQÀM

BISHOP'S

CONCORD.

UQ TR

ETS

BISHOP'S

BOX

DECK

FOOTBALL— Montréal @ M cGill, Sat. Oct. 30, 1:30pm , Molson Stadium With a win and a Concordia loss to Laval, the Redmen could finish third in Q uebec and avoid a matchup with the first-place Carabins in the first round of the playoffs. But beating Montréal is a tall order; the team is ranked number one in the country, and demolished the Redmen 2 6 0 in the season opener. MARTLETS A N D REDM EN S O C Œ R - U Q T R @ M cGill, Fri. Oct. 29, 7 and 9pm, Molson Stadium The Martlets have all but wrapped up first place in the conference, so for them, this game is little more than a tune-up for the playoffs. The Redmen, meanwhile, are in the middle of the pack; they lead UQTR by a single point and trail U Q A M by that margin in the battle for fourth place in the conference. If the Redmen hope to qualify for nationals on their own merits, this game is a must-win. REDM EN R U G B Y — Sherbrooke @ M cGill, Q SSF Semi-final, Sun. Oct. 3 1 , 1 pm, Molson Stadium The Redmen hope to put a Halloween scare into the Vert & O r and advance to the Quebec finals, where they can earn a measure of vengeance for last year's defeat against Bishop's. N H L — Pittsburgh @ Chicago, G am e 4 of the 1992 Stanley C u p final, W e d . Oct. 2 7 , 7 :30pm on T S N The Penguins win this game 6 5 to sweep the series from the Blackhawks; watch and reminisce about the days when the final scores of N H L games weren't confused with those of soccer matches.

McGill University vs Mount Allison University Saturday, October 2 3 , 2 0 0 4 at Mount Allison University Score by Quarters

1 2

3 4 Score

M cGill Mount Allison

9 7 13 0 - 29 0 3 7 3 - 1 3

Scoring Summary: First quarter 0 3 :2 5 M CGILL - R. Eeuwes 24 yd field goal, 0 6 :4 1 M CGILL - R. Eeuwes 31 yd field goal 1 5 :0 0 M CGILL - R. Eeuwes 3 4 yd field goal Second quarter 0 6 :0 5 M T A - P. Blagrave 2 0 yd field goal 12:4 6 M C G Ili - R. Leblanc 4 7 yd pass from M . Connell (R. Eeuwes kick) Third quarter 0 3 :0 7 M T A - J. 0 6 :4 3 M CGILL Eeuwes kick) 10:1 9 M CGILL 14:3 4 M CGILL

Hachey 1 yd run (P. Blagrave kick) - 6. Gallow ay 4 yd pass from M . Connell (R. - R. Eeuwes 25 yd field goal - R. Eeuwes 35 yd field goal

FfYHrtn ni 0 3 :1 5 M T A - P. Blagrave 25 yd field goal MCGILL 22 FIRST D O W N S ......................... 2 7 -1 3 0 RUSHESYARDS (N E T )............... 304 PASSING YDS (N E T)................ 37-17-1 Passes AtfComp-Int................... TOTAL O F F E N C E PLAYS-YARDS 6 6 -4 2 0

RANTS

PATRICK FOK Calgary, Alta. ♦ Martlets soccer Q : Are the Martlets on their way your head. There's no actual proof that it works, but it can't to a national championship? A : W e've pretty much clinched hurt! [The possibility of getting a first place in the league, so concussion]: is definitely some pending that final g am e... thing that I think about, but its Université de Montréal is host part of the game and I can't let ing {national-;], so I guess it it get in the w ay of playing. depends. I think w o deserve to gp, and if w e do make it there, Q : W hat did you think of the I think w e deserve to be in the movie B ea d it like Beckham? A: |Laughs.| The soccer was gold medal game. bad in that movie. There was Q : You use your head a lot definitely a lack of skills, and it while playing. Have you ever wasn't exactly realistic. I have had a concussion, and does the never been on any soccer teams that practice in their possibility concern you? A : I've had one moderate con sports bras— it would never cussion where you get sick and happen, especially playing for you can't think straight. And I've the Martlets. W e're required to had a strange eye concussion, keep our shirts fully tucked in — which was basically just a con our coaches are extremely strict cussion that affected my vision on uniforms. But it brought atten only, which is scary. I wear a tion to womens soccer, and mouth guard to protect myself, that's obviously a great thing. ■ by M e la n ie and I want to get a concussion — C o m p ile d band that you wear around M a cd o n a ld

M TA 18 28-121 224 3 4 -1 6 2 66308

& RAVES

Jeers to a certain member of the N e w England Patriots PR department who refused to accredit the Tribune for the Patriots-Seahawks game, despite our having a perfectly legit imate reason for being there (ahem, JP Darche)... Is it just us, or is Fox entirely incapable of going more than two minutes during baseball playoff broadcasts without promoting their insipid NFL pre-game team... Without the baseball playoffs and only holding NFL rights for Sunday night, the best thing TS N has going for it during the NH L lockout is the exception al Pardon The Interruption. The network shouldn't preempt it for first-round coverage of a B-list golf tournament, only to cut aw ay from the tourney in time to assault our eardrums with Michael Landsberg's pathetic Jim Rome imitation and idiotic guests...Why must the NFL force networks covering the league to cut aw ay from the end of an exciting game (say, Philadelphia and Cleveland on Sunday) to show the begin ning of the late game? Hmm... the finish is the best part of the game, and the start is the slowest and most b o r in g makes sense to us. Although we guess it does fit with the NFL's general policy of enforcing ridiculous rules when it comes to broadcasting Meanwhile, w e don't hate everything... Al Leiter's excellent analysis during the ALCS was a welcome change from Tim McCarver's inability to even learn the names of the players involved in the game. It's Bronson Arroyo, Tim, not Brandon... The non-Big Six conference Utah Utes are 7 -0 and ranked ninth in the AP N C A A football poll. Here's hop ing they can win out and provide further fuel for the fire that aims to dismantle the unfair and anti-climactic B C S ... Emmitt Smith, who many had written off when he joined the Arizona Cardinals, passed Walter Payton with his 78"* career 100yard game on Sunday against the Seahawks... Val Ackerman resigned as president of the W N B A , making what is believed to be the first ever intelligent decision involv ing the W N B A .

RO UND THE HORN Redmen lacrosse defeats Queen's in triple-OT thriller The M cGill Redmen lacrosse team finished its season in dramatic fashion, defeating visiting Queen's University by a score of 15-14 in triple, sudden-death overtime on Sunday at Forbes Field. First-year attackman Jimmy Darawulla led the scoring with five goals and two assists, including the gamewinning goal in overtime, while Zach Edell, Mitch Tomulka, and Patrick Kitchen each registered hat tricks. Co-captain Bobby Carbonneau and M arc Purdon contributed to the win by dominating midfield play on face-offs, and McGill's defence, anchored by goaltender John Mulvihill, stopped Queen's cold in the third overtime. Although the team ended the season at just 2-7, this win marks the first time that M cG ill has defeated Queen's, and gave the squad much to look forward to in the future. "W e're such a young team with 10 freshmen," dub founder Sachin Anand said. "This win was a great w a y to end our 2 0 0 4 season, and sets the stage for next year." Founded in 2 0 0 1 , the Redmen lacrosse program has been gathering steam ever since, according to Head Coach Tim Murdoch "Key factors to improving our lacrosse program have been excellent financial support from The National Bank, the addition of our assistant coach John Threshie, and a crop of talented freshmen," he noted. Although the regular season is over, the Redmen aren't done yet. The team is planning two US exhibition games in Vermont in March 2 0 0 5 against the University of Vermont— whom M cG ill beat 1 6 8 on Lower Field in September— and Norwich University. —Dave Hitchner

B-ball boys take Kingston tourney The Redmen basketball team had ta fine weekend, sweeping its games to take the Kingston invitational basket ball tournament. In Friday's 6 8 -6 4 win over Royal Military College, the Redmen were led by forward Derek Armstrong's 17 points and five rebounds. Also contributing were Sean Anthony with 15 and Denburk Reid with 1 1. G reg Rembeyo narrow ly missed a double-double, getting nine points to go along with his game-high 12 rebounds. M cGill followed that game up with a 6 4 -5 4 win over Queen's the next day. Armstrong again wielded the hot hand, going 8 for 11 from the field on his w a y to 21 points. Anthony added 1 3, while Daniel Martin pitched in with 1 2. The Redmen head to Halifax on Thursday to take part in a tournament at St. Mary's University.

Hockey Redmen tour Ivy League The men's hockey team went south of the border last week, visiting Yale and Cornell for a pair of exhibition matches. The Redmen earned a split, taking the Yale game 3-2 but dropping a 4 -0 decision to a very tough Cornell squad. Doug O rr got things started for M cGill against Yale, netting the first goal of the game at 1 1:4 2 of the first peri od. After that, Yale turned their play up a notch and M cGill was down 2-1 after two. But Orr, a nephew of former N H L great Bobby Orr, netted his second of the game midway through the third, setting the stage for Mathieu Leclerc's game-winner with just over four minutes remaining in the game. M cGill goalie Mathieu Poitras stopped 3 9 of 41 shots to earn the win. In the second game, M cGill faced a Cornell team whose attack wqs bolstered by the presence of a pair of Montreal Canadiens prospects, Ryan O'Byrne and Jon Gleed, and fell 4 -0 to the overpowering Big Red. Patrice G odin took the loss in goal for M cGill, but kept the game as close as possible, stopping 4 0 of 4 4 shots.

In Brief The volleyball Martlets cruised to a three-set exhibition win over expansion Université du Québec à Trois-Rivières Saturday at Love Competition Hall, taking the match 25-17, 2 5 -1 8 , 2 5 -1 5 ... The basketball Martlets weren't so fortu nate this weekend, dropping all three games at the Carleton invitational basketball tournament in Ottawa. The women lost 5 0 -4 2 to the University of Ottawa, 5 8 -3 6 to Carleton University, and 61-41 to the University of Western Ontario.

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M c C o n n e ll E n g in e e r in g

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O c t. 1 8

- 1 9

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A r t s / S c ie n c e

N o v. 1 -5 B ro w n

P h y s ic a l E d u c a t io n / K in e s io lo g y

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N ov. 8 - 1 9

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N ov. 2 2 , 2 3 , 2 9 , 3 1

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D e c . 1 , 2 , 3 J o s t e n s S t u d io

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J a n . 1 0 , 1 1 , 1 2 J o s t e n s S t u d io

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J O S T E N S S T U D IO , 2 0 5 7 S ta n le y S tre e t. F o r a p p o in tm e n t call: 4 9 9 -9 9 9 9