The McGill Tribune Vol. 27 Issue 14

Published by the Students' Society of McGill University

www.mcgilltribune.com

Volume 27 Issue 14 • December 4, 2007

Montreal deep in debt Winter wonderland City dips below national average on camous and T.V. K ristin M aich

A recent Winnipeg study has named Mon­ treal the most indebted major Canadian city, with debts over three times higher than the national average for Canadian cities. The study, entitled "Local Government Performance Index: A Financial Analysis of 30 Canadian Cities," was released last Monday by the Frontier Centre for Public Policy.

Former Mayor of Westmount Peter Trent agreed that Montreal was "very seriously in debt.”

"Montreal has traditionally been a basketcase, financially," he said. "It still is. [Mayor of Mon­ treal Gérald] Tremblay is doing nothing about these debt problems."

Citing Thejaty's policies on subsidies and new residential developments as examples of poor policy, Montreal's interim Director of Fi­ nances Jacques Marleau blamed past manage­ ment mistakes for the present debt situation.

"It's a well-known fact that, generally speak­ ing, cities from Quebec have a higher debt bur­ den than [other] cities in Canada," he said. "It is quite difficult to compare cities across Canada.

You can have discrepancies in accounting and also in the way cities are, and have been, man­ aged. But the authors themselves noticed that

there are a lot of limitations to the way they have done the study."

Trent asserted that Montreal has had a "his­ tory of poor asset management for years."

"Montreal is generally very poorly run," he said. "We've got a problem [with] the political class in Montreal. [It's] fairly low calibre, [with] in­ experienced mayors with no management skills running the city."

Yet Montreal has a relatively good credit rating of AA2 by Moody's Investors Services, a group that rates bonds in descending alphabeti­ cal order from A to C, from highest to lowest. AA2 is two steps below the highest rating possible.

Marleau pointed to the discrepancy between the Frontier Centre's findings and the city's good credit standing.

"I think that the conclusion they have reached— [the city's debt] cannot be that figure; we wouldn't have such a good [credit] rating if it was,"Marleau said.

Trent explained that such a system, which he had implemented when he ran Westmount, meant that the costs of new projects would be reflected in increased taxation. Montreal, on the other hand, goes out to borrow for"simple" proj­ ects like street repairs.

See POLICY on page 4

NDP calls for change Tuition re-freeze at crux of talk T homas Q uail Following closely behind debate surround­ ing provincial education this month, New Demo­ crat MP Denis Savoie from Victoria gave an infor­ mal talk this past Thursday at Gert's on the NDP's stance regarding the current and future state of post-secondary education in Canada. Savoie, the NDP's post-secondary education critic, called upon, the Harper government to stop hiding behind its growing surplus and make a positive impact on the lives of students in Canada.

"AtThe moment, years of under-funding in post-secondary institutions is starting to catch up with the Canadian system,"Savoie said.

Students' Society Vice-President External Max Silverman kicked off the afternoon speak­ ing about free education.

"If we get the funding back to where it was 15 years ago in Quebec, we would have the most funded and most accessible education system in Canada,"Silverman said.

Although refusing to disclose details re­ garding free education, Savoie asserted that she thought it was both feasible and attainable.

"I do think that post-secondary education is a public good," she said. "We want to ensure equitable access to people that are qualified and those who have the motivation. I don't think the debt load should be as burdensome as it is in some parts of Canada."

Addressing the House on Nov. 26, Savoie questioned the moral fibre of the governing party. Her website, denisesavoie.ca, provided a

See MP on page 4

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SPEAKERS ON CAMPUS

Bike shop to open in spring This is your brain on Sacks Preparations to gather steam over the Neurologist gets his music fix N P winter break ancy

K ristin M aich Students' Society President Jake Itzkowitz has confirmed that the Bike Shop, as it has been labelled until it comes up with a name, will be undergoing a month of coordination and brainstorming in De­ cember as it prepares to open its services to students in January.

According to Itzkowitz, the December activities will involve the move into Shatner, acquiring equip­ ment and finalizing staff.

"The plan is to have a coherent structure and physical structure in place by January," he said.

However, Kerri Westlake, Ui environment and one of two Bike Shop coordinators involved in the initiative to get official service status for the bike col­ lective from SSMU, does not think the Shop will be ready for business by January.

"I think, ideally by February, we'd be able to start having it look a little more like a bike collective," she said.

Itzkowitz explained that the bike repair shop will be installed in the sub-basement of the Shatner building which was previously the kitchen for Savoir Faire and will now house the Plate Club, Midnight Kitchen, Organic Campus and the Bike Shop.

Westlake said that making the basement space into a viable bike repair space was one of the major objectives to have in place, or at least underway,

by January.

"Over December we will be setting up an ac­

count with a wholesaler and organizing the space in the basement,"she said."Well start ordering parts in January."

The Bike Shop is presently looking at purchas­ ing its equipment from bicycle wholesaler Babac, a company Westlake says is used by a lot of bike shops in the Montreal area.

The shop's budget was set by Council two weeks ago at $4,700 which will be coming from the Green Fee. David Gray-Donald, SSMU building sustainabil­ ity coordinator, thought the allocation was a sound amount of capital, considering the fact that getting the operation up and going will suck up a lot of its funds.

"It's good that they got that amount of money because it means they can afford to lose a bit of money in the start up, which is going to happen— but this way it doesn't need to be a money-losing operation," he said.

Westlake added that the Bike Shop's funding was unanimously approved at Council, noting that ^everyone seemed really excited about it."

"It's kind ofa slow start right now, but we'll prob­ ably want to have a grand opening and workshop in the spring when a lot of people start biking again,” she said. "I think ideally what we want is to have a common area, a welcoming space... so that it's not just a bike collective, but [a place] to foster the biking community within McGill and also outside of the Mc­ Gill community— as well as just repairing bikes."*

ham

Last Thursday, acclaimed writer and neu­ rologist Dr. Oliver Sacks visited McGill, lectur­ ing on "musical misalignments" and its effects on the individual to a crowd of over 600 in Leacock 132.

Organized by the university and the Mc­ Gill Bookstore, "Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain" was highly anticipated by McGill students and Montrealers alike. Sacks was in­ troduced by McGill professor of neurology and neuroscience Dr. Robert Zatorre, co-director of the International Laboratory for Brain, Music and Sound Research, whose research was dis­ cussed in Sacks's new book of the same title as the lecture.

The main topic of the lecture was Sacks's book that was released on the 16th of October.

The book claims that humans are, "a musical species." It is a collection of stories that exam­ ine the effect of music on people struggling with neurological disorders while formally dis­ cussing the effect of music on the brain.

Sacks, a Columbia University profes­ sor of clinical neurology and psychiatry, has penned ten books and received numerous awards, including the Polk Award and the Guggenheim Fellowship.

Sacks explained that "music plays a huge role in our lives, occupying more areas of our brain than language does."

Mark Pinkus, a composer and resident of

Montreal, thought Sacks was sensational.

"Being greatly involved with music myself, this lecture really allowed me to see how the effects of music registers within one's mind," he said.

Through much of his lecture, Sacks told tales of people struggling to adapt to various neurological conditions, beginning with a story about music and amnesia.

"Clive Wearing was a very emminent mu­ sician and musicologist until he was struck by a form of encephalitis which destroyed most of the temporal lobes of his brain," Sacks said.

"His wife, however, found that Clive's musical memory and abilities remained untouched.

He was able to sing, conduct a choir and con­ duct an orchestra all with great sensitivity for about ten seconds before his memory disap­ peared again."

Sacks explained that Clive would ex­ perience tremendous confusion but it was music that gave him back his identity and continuity.

Danica Layton, U3 psychology, also found Sacks's presentation enjoyable, though short.

"Being in psychology, I didn't think he was specific enough with some of the things he mentioned," she said. "On a general basis, though, his talk was very good."

A reviewer from M usicophilia.ca spoke about the book, "Music is irresistible, haunting, and unforgettable, and in M usicophilia, Oliver Sacks tells us why."*

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW— MARC GARNEAU

C an ad ian astro n au t tries politics on for size Marc Garneau hopes to get the riding in Westmount-Ville-Marie Canadian astronaut-turned-poli­ tician M arc Garneau cam e to the Shat­ ner Building last W ednesday to speak on "Research, Innovation, and Canada's Competitiveness" in an event organized

by Liberal M cGill. Garneau was the first Canadian to travel into outer space aboard the 1984 Challenger shuttle, served as president o f the Canadian Space Adm inistration from lo o t to 2005 and is currently running for Parliam ent in the W estm ount-Ville-M arie riding.

The Tribune sat down with Garneau to discuss his role as both an astronaut and a politician, and his environm ental policies.

You helped build the Interna­ tional Space Station with astronauts from a number of countries. Do you feel that this experience in interna­

tional cooperation will help you if you're elected to Parliament?

when their policies are in agreement with ours.

Well, I think it's crucial, and I spoke about it today, that if you're You were defeated in an elec­ part of a crew on a space shuttle or tion in another Quebec riding of the International Space Station, you Vaudreuil-Soulanges in 2006 by the really have to work well together to Bloc Québécois incumbent. How get the job done— that's not unique will running in Westmount-Villeto the space world. Certainly as poli­ Marie be different for you? ticians I think it is important for us I would say it's different in a to learn to work together, not only number of ways. First of all, I've had within the same party, but also with . the experience now of running in the opposition. I think that Canadians an election. Secondly, I live in Westexpect politicians to behave in a ma­ mount, whilst I didn't live in the rid­ ture, honest and ethical manner and ing that I ran in last time. For some I think once in a while they get a little people that's important, that you live bit tired of the games that are played. in the riding where you're running.

I think that I can live up to that stan­ Thirdly, the incum bent is a Liberal and dard of being a constructive team therefore there's a Liberal structure in player within my own party, but also place, whilst when I ran in 2005 in the constructive with the other parties last election it was already a Bloc rid­ ing, so there was not the same level of structure in place.There was a Liberal association, but it was not as well-es­ tablished as it is here in Westmount.

So I think that a little bit more experi­ ence, the fact that I live here, and the fact that there's a nice structure in place will make a difference.

You've spoken before about seeing and being disturbed by en­ vironmental damage on the Earth from space. If elected to Parliament, do you have a specific plan that you would follow through to compre­ hensively help the environment?

Well, I think that if I were the per­ son making that decision, yes, I would have some programs that I would put in place. I think there are a few key things that you need to do. You need to provide incentives to those who

are creating pollution to reduce the amount of pollution. The incentives can be, on the one hand, penalties.

On the other hand, it can be encour­ agement by means of financial incen­ tives to reduce their carbon footprint.

Secondly, I think that Canada has the potential of being part of a new in­ dustrial revolution, one that focusses heavily on finding environmental so­ lutions to our current problems. Other countries are already very actively doing that. Is Canada going to end up watching it from the sidelines and buying solutions from other coun­ tries, or are we going to create some of the solutions and export them to the rest of the world? I sure hope that it's the latter.

What types of solutions are you talking about here, solutions to en­ vironmental problems that Canada could export?

Well, technologies to better ex­ ploit renewable resources of energy, technologies that help up to seques­ trate the carbon dioxide and pollut­ ants that we are creating so that we capture them and don't release them out into the atmosphere, find ways of neutralizing them or scrubbing them.

Find solutions that will help us to im­ prove public transit, for example, so that people are more willing to use public transit as opposed to sticking with their current lifestyle, which is based more on the car. The design of our cities is based on the car; our cities are designed around cars. We need to come up with solutions that put pub­ lic transit systems into the design of our cities, or the redesign ofourcities,

so it becomes an attractive alternative for Canadians to say'Hey, I'm going to get rid of my car,'or'l'm going to leave my car at home, and I'm going to take public transit because it's cheaper, it's comfortable and I know I'm helping with the environment.' So there are lots of areas companies will come up with— there's a company in Ot­ tawa at the moment that is looking at taking wood fibre and turning it into ethanol. Now that's a very good ex­ ample of doing something that can help us find alternatives and cleaner fuels, maybe a better solution than using corn, which is a very important feedstock, as our source of ethanol.

You were recently quoted in the Toronto Star saying that Liberal leader Stéphane Dion would make a good Prime Minister. Why do you think so?

I think that Stéphane Dion, hav­ ing gotten to know him, is really a man of vision. I know that people tend to focus a lot on that sort of academic, sort of backpack-carrying, personality that he projects, but if you listen to what is coming out of his mouth, this is a man who really does understand the issues and who has really good solutions for the country. I think this is somebody who truly cares about trying to do something important for our country. He's not a slick politician, but in the end I don't care about that.

What I care about is, does he have the right solutions and I think he does and so I think he would make an ex­ cellent Prime Minister.

— Com piled by Theo Meyer

04.12.07 «The McGill Tribune • 3

INTERNATIONAL

World AIDS week culminates in midnight vigil Cohen speaks up on behalf of women afflicted with AIDS in Rwanda M arine M oulin A Canadian contracts HIV/AIDS every two hours, according to th e C a nadian HIV/AIDS Information Centre.

Last Saturday was World AIDS day, a chance for awareness associations to come together and demand gov­ ernments to raise funds to combat HIV and AIDS as five million people worldwide presently live with one of the two diseases.

On Wednesday, a group of 28 students lay down at the front of the Leacock 132 classroom in an effort to draw attention to the need for gov­ ernment intervention in the AIDS epidemic. Throughout the week, petitions were passed around in an attempt to pressure the government to increase its funding of HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria research.

"We need to be constantly re­ minded of the AIDS epidem ic so we can raise awareness and take action," said Karen Tang, Uo nurs­ ing, regarding this week's campaign against HIV/AIDS. While there is no cure for the disease, Antiretroviral Drug treatment, known as ARV, can slow its progression. However, only 20 per cent of those in need receive the drug.

Dr. Mardge Cohen, one of the world's leading figures in the fight against HIV, spoke last Friday eve­ ning in the Strathcona building in a lecture entitled, "Women with HIV in Rwanda: Another World is Possible."

Cohen posited that coping with

the HIV/AIDS is especially hard for women in developing countries; in sub-Saharan Africa, women between the ages of 15 and 24 are three times more likely to be infected than their male counterparts.

"They don't have access to property, money or any government position like men," she said.

Discussing her experiences in Rwanda, Cohen emphasized the fears that many held for seeking medical care.

"A lot [of women] didn't want to go to the clinic because they didn't want to have a flashback of being raped, [of] seeing their husbands killed and their children murdered," she said, referring to Rwanda's on­ going civil strife. "Women often bring their children back and forth [to the clinic], but forget about their own health."

Cohen also explained that there are often certain lifestyles that coin­ cide with women who have the dis­ ease. Women with AIDS "are mostly widowed, poor and haven't finished the equivalent of sixth grade," she said. "You just can't throw pills at people; you must make sure they are willing to take [them]."

Cohen observed that these women are often depressed, and might not be prepared to take daily medicine.

"If you are going to take care of a woman with HIV, you have to take care of all the problems," she said.

The AIDS stigma exists around

the world and involves the rejection, discrimination and avoidance of in­ fected peoples.

“Women say [they resent the] stigma and shame,"Cohen said.

"It is very important to pay at­ tention, because it is a growing problem," said Nikki Bozinoff, an organizer from the McGill Global AIDS Coalition.

In a more general way, last week's campaign was directed to­ wards pushing the government to keep its promises to increase funding directed towards AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria research and treatment.

Cohen suggested that the governmënt has failed to properly take AIDS/HIV into consideration.

"In [the United States] $io-billion

is spent each month [on the] war in Iraq— $i5-billion per year is needed to cure AIDS/HIV worldwide. Clearly, we have to change our priorities," she said. "AIDS is destroying Africa and we cannot be silent."

After Cohen's speech, the audi­ ence moved outside to participate in a candlelight vigil in honour of AIDS victims. ■

MATT PARK Students sell t-shirts in the Leacock hallway to promote AIDS awareness last week.

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4 - News-04.12.07

The McGill Tribune

Policy to be re­ MP backs student protests worked for future Savoie in favour of re ■thinking education Continued from COVER

Past leaders blamed for debt Continued from COVER "Other cities, like Toronto and Ottawa, do not [borrow] like this," Trent added. “Montreal has been a city of big projects— they've spent huge amounts of money on big programs like the Olympics instead of really investing in the infrastructure, and now they're playing catch-up.”

Trent cited the present state of the city's water infrastructure as one area the city has to catch up on.

But what can be done to remedy the city's debt problems?

"Pay it back," suggested Dr. Leah Brooks, a McGill economics professor spe­ cializing in public and urban economies. "The best way to pay a debt [off] is to have a lot economic growth, without actually raising tax rates?

Brooks recommended that the city implement policies that would attract businesses, such as providing subsidies or. creating a businessfriendly environment.

"Businesses want to locate in a city where they think they can do well, where there are networks they can interact with," she said. "Any policy that makes Montreal more business-welcoming to those ends would be useful. Or, it could find oil, like Calgary."

Marleau posited that it is easy to overstate the amount of the debt bill that residents will have to foot. Acknowledging that Montreal's total outstand­ ing debt is presently nearly $6-billion, he point out that of that amount, "there is a subsidized total of $1.3 to $i.4-billion, [which] will be paid by the province, not taxed to citizens."

Marleau added that the city is presently working on improving its debt management policy in order to incur less debt in the future.

"What will count more when we go to the market, is our rating, which we have been improving since 2005 to 2006," he said. "Our debt profile is not so bad. We have a strategy looking forward: a debt management policy that was implemented in 2004 We [will] introduce more components to try to pay more investment on a cash basis."

Montreal recently decided to introduce a new tax to pay for the invest­ ment it must make in fixing its water system— the present value of which is $ioo-million, according to Marleau.

"Looking forward, there won't be any debt created to improve our water situation,"he said."We have to look ata plan for moving forward, for improving."

Trent dissented with Marleau's optimism, stating that he didn't believe it was likely that there would be any change in Montreal's level of debt in the near future until there is drastic managerial improvement.

"We're not going to see a change until we get mayors that are just going to get in there, roll up their sleeves, and clean up the mess."*

111 V"

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Daniel J. Levitin James McGill Professor & Bell Chair Author of the best-seller “This Is Your Brain on Music” and Producer of Blue Oyster Cult, Stevie Wonder

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transcription of her comments.

“Mr. Speaker, it is increasingly clear that the govern­ ment is making a profit at students' expense," she said.

"Given the growing student debt load and rising tuition fees, why is the government still planning to make more than $550 million dollars in profit at students'expense...

Why do big banks and big oil get billions in corporate tax cuts when young graduates, who actually drive our econo­ my, get shafted with high interest on their student loans?"

Savoie suggested that , the Canadian government could improve the current post-secondary system via three major solutions: reducing student loan interest rates, ap­ pointing a post-secondary education ombudsperson and designing a comprehensive needs-based grant system.

A need-based grant system would replace the cur­ rent model that has been around since the 1960s. As the student demographic has shifted over the years, the grant program has stayed the same. Savoie added, "the [current] loan system is antiquated and out-dated, it doesn't meet the needs of today's students."

The NDP is also calling upon Harper to reinstate a

dedicated post-secondary education transfer program. In 1993, federal education transfer payments made up 0.56 per cent of the national GDP. In 2005, that number had plummeted to a paltry 0.19 per cent. Students have made up this difference. NDP McGill President Devin Alfaro said, "If we look across Canada and around the world, tuition increase is almost always accompanied by a decrease in government investment in education. Quality doesn't im­ prove, but the debt level of students increases."

The NDP is in solidarity with the Quebec student protests regarding Charest's de-freeze of tuition. "I'm really glad that the students are fighting back. Those of us who live in British Columbia, or those from Nova Scotia know what your future is. We are the result of deregulated tu­ ition,"Savoie said.

NDP supporter Roland Lindala-Haumou.nt, Ui Cana­ dian studies and political science, was pleased with his party's platform regarding education.

"They seem to be advocating the correct policies with decreasing tuition and improving the federal transfer payment system. As someone who has significant student debt, it is very important to me that the NDP is looking to reduce the burden of student loans." ■

C O R R E C T IO N In last week's issue, the news brief "Clubs get the axe”(27.11.07) stated that MRSA was a club, when it is in fact a service. Further, MRSA's office located in the AUS lounge is not under SSMU's jurisdiction, and can therefore not oc removed by them. The Tribune apologizes for reporting prematurely on this issue without VP Clubs & Services Mar­ celle Kosman's input.

04.12.07 • News • 5

www.mcgilltribune.com

PHOTOS BY ERNEST HON

N E W S S P E C IA L

SSMU Executive Report Cards As the final frontier nears for students, the Tribune takes a quick look back at the performance of the SSMU Executive Council this past semester. While the general objective was to make SSMU more relevant to students appears to be well on its way, we examined

their goals at the beginning of the year and their progress on them.

While the Executive has been relatively successful in their respective portfolios, concrete results from their campaign goals are largely ab­ sent across the board.

A drian A ngus VP U niversity A ffairs

J ake Itzkowitz P resident

Much of Angus'portfolio involves behind-the-scenes dealings with the administration, and on this front, he has been relatively successful as a formidable voice for students. While his goals at the beginning of the year had been to improve advising and libraries, he has yet to deliver on these campaign goals.

Working with Itzkowitz, Angus has helped re-establish a voice for SSMU members on the Board of Governors.

The meeting between Angus, Itzkowitz, Kosman and Associate Secretary-General Jennifer Towell on the use of'M cGill' by student clubs and services illustrated his abilities in negotiating with the administration without giving ground on issues that matter to students. In addition Angus has excelled in a leadership role while coordinating with his senators. However we are concerned about the transparency of his initiatives, which must be conducted in the public eye, available to scrutiny. W hile Angus has put.aside his personal views for his duties as a SSMU exec, his involvement in the General Assembly walkout was questionable, at best.

The SSMU President has been working hard to make SSMU visible for students since the beginning of the year; helping first-years move into residence and numerous faculty and charity events are impressive efforts to improve SSMU vis­ ibility and make SSMU more relevant to students. However, visibility is still lacking; the recommendations from Coun­ cil to the Presidential Affairs committee still remain to be seen. While charges of impeachment against Itzkowitz were never acted upon by students and may have been unfounded, there are still serious problems with the General Assembly process that need to be resolved. While Itzkowitz did follow constitutional requirements for advertising the first GA, it was not enough to garner sufficient student interest.

While the special GA was better advertised, more should be done to rally interest from students not in the Faculty of Arts.

Itzkowitz has worked hard and successfully built positive relations with the administration. While working well with the senior members of the administration, his devotion to students and students'interests is unquestionable.

M ax S ilverman VP E xternal

K ay T urner VP Internal Under Turner's leadership, the SSMU executive has made frosh a particular success, and was markedly better received by the administration this year. Her efforts to make frosh and tally sustainable are commendable; while the results of SnoAP environmentimately unsuccessful at frosh, progress is being made in these efforts were ulHer plans for an alternative location for the 4Floors party preparation for SnoAP. have failed to materialize, and this year's party was replaced by the Second City Comedy Tour, which while entertaining, saw much lower ticket sales. The SSMU emails, which were only sent out biweekly this year, as opposed to weekly last year, should be sent more fre­ quently. Despite putting in over $40,000 into I.T. ex­ penses, the SSMU Web site design is still fairly shaky; we hope thatTurner will improve on this area.

M arcelle Kosman VP C lubs & S ervices

R

C ouncil

c-

IM A D BARAKE

VP F inance & O perations

Ultimately, Kosman has managed to successfully fulfill the du­ ties of her portfolio this semester, though not without some serious glitches.There have been numerous occasions where documents were lost or misplaced, such as documents that had been clubs'applica­ tions for office space. While she has decided to become more avail­ able by holding more office hours than just about anyone else at McGill, her decision not to return voicemail messages due to the quantity of calls only deflects more messages to her e-mail, which have also been poorly responded to. On the public front, Kosman is an active contributor and a well-reasoned voice of clubs' and services' in­ terests to Council. Kosman gives the impression of being overwhelmed by her portfolio, and attaching e-mails from clubs'and services'execs to her Council report is inappropriate and only serves to mock students.

Despite past mistakes, Kosman has shown enormous resolve to cor­ rect them; her skills at damage control are formidable. She has shown to be capable of improving francophone issues; however, the Clubs Councils and roundtables should be improved upon.

On numerous occasions at Council so far, at­ tendance has been an issue, and Spêaker Yahel Carmon must resort to threatening councillors to prevent them from leaving and breaking quo­ rum. For this body to be legitimate, councillors must be present to represent their constituents.

While it can be understandable for new council­ lors to be intimidated by Robert's Rules of Order and hesitate from contributing to debate, there have been more than enough meetings to attain

This year, Silverman hit the ground running with a year of experience under his belt. Over the summer months, his cooperation with the administration and the Minister of Education helped to end McGill Adjustment, which will be putting about $i5-m illion back into McGill. Despite the CFS debacle and Silverman's inability to smooth over relations with the Concordia Students' Union, the Post-Graduates Stu­ dents' Society and the Dawson College Students' Union at the Canadian Federation of Students-Quebec, he has worked hard throughout the semester to voice students'concerns, working with the Association pour une Solidarité Syndicale Étudiante.

He has focussed on and fulfilled his mandate to work for free education, though the success of tuitiontruth.ca is questionable.

Thrust into a seemingly never-ending string of damage control, Barake has dealt admirably with this year's plummeting surplus and the recent acquisition of Haven Books. Although these problems had been due to the flawed judgem ent on the part of Barake and former VP Finance Dave Sunstrum this past March, we feel that he has responded properly to issues within his portfolio. While Barake has posited to implement three to five-year plans for SSMU, we would like to see the development of a stron­ ger fiscal policy that looks to the future. At Council, Barake has not contributed substantially to debate; he has a ten­ dency to leave during debates and vote without hearing what councillors have to say. While we understand that his portfolio often calls him away from Council, we hope that Barake will abstain from motions that he has been absent from.

a working knowledge of Robert's Rules and there should not be any excuse for the lacklustre par­ ticipation in some debates. Councillors' priorities also seem to be misplaced: while the SSMU Bud­ get received essentially no debate before ratifica­ tion, a motion regarding gender parity received over two hours of debate with councillors divid­ ing into two factions and merely echoing each other. While some of the councillors should re­ m ember that Their mandate is to represent their

constituents and not their own personal views, Council has generally worked with students' in­ terests in mind. Carmon, while sometimes un­ orthodox in his methods and rulings, will usually maintain order; we would like to see a clearer understanding of SSMU by-laws from Carmon; his experience has shown that requiring a twothirds majority vote when only a simple majority was required, and not counting all votes, creates some problems.

CAMPUS RECREATION

INTRAMURAL SPORTS REGISTRATION DATES

LEAUGES

LEVELS

BALL HOCKEY

Men & Women

Competitive Intermediate Recreational

$130.00 per team

November 26, 9:00

BASKETBALL

Men & Women

Competitive Intermediate Recreational

$130.00 per team

November 26, 9:00

SPORTS

INDOOR SOCCER

Men, Women & Co-rec

INNERTUBE WATERPOLO

C o-R ec

VOLLEYBALL

Men, Women & Co-rec

COST

Competitive Intermediate Recreational

# PLAYERS TO REGISTER

GAME DAYS

8

Mon & Tues

Ja n u a ry 10, 17:00

Sunday

8

Ja n u a ry 10, 17:00

W eekends

November 26, 9:00

$130.00

Tu es, to Fri.

8

Mon. to Fri.

4 Men & 4 Women

W eekends.

November 26, 9:00

4 Men &

W eekends

Ja n u a ry 10, 17:00

4 Women

November 26, 9:00 Ja n u a ry 10, 17:00

8 4 Men & 4 Women

per team

Jan u ary 10, 17:00

Competitive Intermediate Recreational

$130.00 per team

Competitive Intermediate Recreational

$130.00 per team

Mon. to F R ri.

PLEASE NOTE THAT REGISTRATION DEADLINES ARE STRICTLY ENFORCED - SPACE IN MOST SPORTS IS LIMITED - REGISTER EARLY !

CROSS COUNTRY AND HOTV IrîtDdSS SNOWSHOE EQUIPMENT RENTALS Work off exam stress at Pay-As-You-Go-Fitness Pay-As-You Go Fitness Schedule Thru December 14,2007

Cross country ski and snowshoe equipment is available for rental by McGill students, faculty and staff and Sports Complex members.

RENTAL RATES: S a m e D a y O vern ig h t

2 Nights

3 Nights

4 Nights

W eek

Poles

$ 2 .0 0

$ 3 .0 0

$ 4 .0 0

$ 5 .0 0

$ 6 .0 0

$ 7 .0 0

Boots

$ 4 .0 0

$ 5 .0 0

$ 6 .0 0

$ 7 .0 0

$ 8 .0 0

$ 9 .0 0

Skis

$ 5 .0 0

$ 7 .0 0

$ 9 .0 0

$ 1 1 .0 0

$ 1 5 .0 0

$ 1 9 .0 0

Ski o r S n o w

$ 1 0 .0 0

$ 1 2 .0 0

$ 1 5 .0 0

$ 2 0 .0 0

$ 2 5 .0 0

$ 3 0 .0 0

Shoe Pa ck ag e

Mon.

STEP

18h00 -18h55

Aerobics Rm.

Tue.

TAE BOX

17h00 -17h55

Aerobics Rm.

Wed.

BOOT CAMP

18h00 -18h55

Aerobics Rm.

Thurs.

BODY DESIGN

17h00 -17h55

Aerobics Rm.

Fri.

POWER YOGA

17h30-18h25

Aerobics Rm.

SPIN

18h00 -18h55

Spin Rm.

AEROBICS

12h00-12h55

Aerobics Rm.

Sun.

• All prices are tax included • Rental fees must be paid at Client Services (Office G-20C) of the McGill Sports Center. Equipment will be issued at the Equipment Room (Office G-48) upon presentation of the rental receipt.

SPECIAL CHRISTMAS PACKAGE From December 2 1 ,2 0 0 7 to January 3, 2008

$ 4 0 °° SPECIAL STUDY BREAK PACKAGE From February 22 to March 3, 2008 ■

$ 3 0 °° GROUP RATES ARE AVAILABLE FOR 10 OR MORE PEOPLE

M

m

!

s

i N F O R M A T I O N I: 3 9 8 - 7 0 1

11

1

r i N L

*

V

E

J

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FITN ESS AND > RECREATION COURSES DAY &TIME

COURSE AQUATICS Adults Learn To Swim (Level 1 Beginner) Adults Learn To Swim (Level 2 & 3 Intermediate) Swim Fit

COST 37.73/55.28

WKS 8

Monday Saturday Wednesday Saturday Tues & Thurs

18:30-19:25 11:15-12:10 18:30-19:25 11:15-12:10 18:30-19:25

33.34/68.44

8

Wednesday

18:30-19:25

24.57/42.12

8

Friday Monday Wednesday Friday Wednesday Tuesday (beginner) Tuesday Thursday Friday Tuesday & Thursday Tuesday & Thursday Monday Tuesday Thursday Thursday Tuesday

16:30-18:25 17:00-17:55 17:00-17:55 19:00-19:55 19:00-20:25 18:00-18:55 19:00-19:55 19:00-19:55 18:00-18:55 17:30-18:55 19:00-20:25 19:00-20:25 19:00-20:25 18:00-18:55 19:00-19:55 20:30-21:55

74.58/96.52 37.73/59.67 37.73/59.67 37.73/59.67 50.89/72.83 37.73/59.67

10 10 10 10 10 10

80.73/124.60 80.73/124.60 50.89/72.83 50.89/72.83 37.73/59.67 37.73/59.67 50.89/72.83

10 10 10

Monday & Wed. Tuesday & Thursday Saturday Monday & Wed. Monday & Wed. Tuesday & Thursday Monday & Wed. Tuesday & Thursday Saturday, January 26 Sunday, January 27 Sunday, January 27 Sunday Monday & Wed.

17:00-17:55 19:00-19:55 12:00-12:55 12:00-12:55 19:00-19:55 18:00-18:55 17:30-18:25 17:00-17:55 09:00-17:00

37.73/81.61 37.73/81.61 19.31/41.24 37.73/81.61 37.73/81.61 37.73/81.61 37.73/81.61 37.73/81.61 75.59/83.36

10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 1

Tuesday & Thursday Tuesday & Thursday Monday & Wed. Tuesday & Thursday Friday Wednesday Monday & Wed. Tuesday & Thursday Monday & Wed. Friday Monday & Wed. Tuesday & Thursday Saturday Monday & Wed. Saturday Thursday Monday & Wed.

09:00-17:00 11:00-11:55 08:00-08:55 16:00-16:55 18:15-19:25 19:30-20:40 08:00-08:55 16:00-16:55 17:15-18:25 17:00-18:10 16:00-16:55 18:30-19:25 18:00-18:55 16:30-17:55 19:00-21:55 17:00-17:55 13:00-14:10 19:30-20:25 14:30-15:40 13:00-13:55 17:00-17:55 12:00-12:55 18:00-19:25 11:00-11:55 20:00-21:25 18:00-18:55

48.26/57.04 29.83/51.77 32.46/67.56 32.46/67.56 50.89/94.76 40.36/75.46 40.36/84.23 32.46/67.56 40.36/75.46 40.36/75.46 40.36/84.23 37.73/81.61 61.42/105.30 46.51/68.44 219.35/250.11 40.36/84.23 50.89/94.76 40.36/84.23 26.32/48.26 40.36/84.23 40.36/84.23 20.18/42.12 92.13/136.00 19.31/41.24 26.33/43.87 40.36/84.23

1 10 8 8 10 8 10 8 8 8 10 10 10 10 14 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 8 10

Monday & Wed. Tuesday & Thursday Monday & Wed. Friday Friday Wednesday Saturday Saturday Monday Monday Tuesday Tuesday Wednesday Wednesday Thursday Thursday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Saturday Sunday

08:00-08:55 20:30-21:25 20:30-21:25 13:30-14:45 14:45-16:15 15:00-16:15 10:30-11:20 11:30-12:20 16:00-16:45 17:30-18:15 16:45-17:30 17:30-18:15 12:15-13:00 13:00-13:45 16:00-16:45 16:45-17:30 08:30-09:15 09:15-10:00 14:30-15:15 15:15-16:00 16:00-16:45 10:45-11:30 11:30-12:15

42.12/77.22

8

42.12/77.22 49.14/66.69

8 8

50.02/67.57 34.22/51.77

8

23.69/36.86

6

2 0 0 8

l

REGISTRATIO N INFORM ATION

• Register in the Client Services Office of the Sports Centre - Monday through Friday 08:30 - 20h00 hrs. • Registration starts November 26, 2007 • Non-members registered in courses may use the facility only during their designated class times.» Most classes begin the week of January 14, 2008 • Instruc­ tional classes are suspended from February 24-30 due to the McGill Study Break. • Pay-As-You-Go classes begin January 14 and run until April 27, 2008. • Classes will not be held March 2 1 ,2 3 and 24, 2008 • Full-time McGill students may register at the member's rate. Prices do not include GST & PST

SPO RTS Sq u ash Inter

Ja zz I & II Ja zz II & III Latin Dance

1

Lindy Hop - Swing Dance Zumba So cial Dance F IT N E S S & W E L L N E S S Abs, B ack & Bootie Body Design Body W orks Boot Cam p Cardio Jam C la s s ic Cardio CPRNFirst Aid C P R Re-Cert De-Tox Cycle Hatha Yoga 1

Tuesday & Thursday

Hatha Yoga II Kick, Punch, Jiv e & Jam Pedal Jam Pedal & Pump Personal Trainer Development Pilâtes Pilâtes Pilâtes Pilâtes 1 & Il Power Yoga

Spin & Trim Step Tai Chi Yoga For Athletes SPO RTS Fencing 1 Fencing II Hockey 1 Hockey II Skating

Sq u ash Intro

10 10 10

30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87 30.71/43.87

6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6

80.73/124.60

10

71.95/115.82 64.93/108.81 64.93/108.81 64.93/108.81

10 10 10 10

49.13/93.10 49.13/93.10 49.13/93.10 64.93/108.81 64.93/108.81

10 10 10 10 10

13:30-15:25 13:30-15:25 13:00-16:00 10:00-13:00 13:00-16:00 All Day

140.39/149.17 140.39/149.17 19.31/23.69 19.31/23.69 19.31/23.69 43.88/48.26

6 6 1 1 1 1

All Day

70.20/78.97

MARTIAL A R TS Aikido

Tuesday & Friday

Capoeira Judo Karate Kendo

Mon., Wed., Friday Monday & Wed. Monday & Wed. Tuesday & Saturday

Kickboxing Kickboxing - Savate I Kickboxing - Savate II Tae Kwon Do Shaolin OUTDOOR PU R SU ITS Equestrian

Monday & Wed. Tuesday & Thursday Tuesday & Thursday Monday & Wed. Tuesday & Thursday

18:00-19:55 17:00-19:55 16:30-17:55 17:30-19:25 19:30-21:25 20:00-21:55 09:00-10:55 15:00-16:25 20:30-21:55 19:00-20:25 19:30-21:25 20:00-21:55

Tennis Inter

Tennis Advanced

C ro ss Country Skiing

Snow shoeing

Saturday Sunday Frid., January 25 Sat., January 26 Sun., January 27 Sun., January 20 Sun., January 27 Sun., February 10 Sun., February 17 Sun., March 16 Sat., February 2

Ice Climbing ST A F F FIT N ES S Monday & Wed. Aqua Fitn ess Monday & Wed. Badminton Monday & Friday Belly Dancing Tuesday & Thursday Body Design - Adv Tuesday & Thursday Body Design - Intro Tuesday & Thursday Dance Aerobics Tuesday & Thursday Hatha Yoga I Tuesday & Thursday Hatha Yoga II Monday & Wed. Pilâtes - Intro Tuesday & Thursday Pilâtes - Advanced Monday & Wed. Power Yoqa Lite Monday & Wed. R e ce ss Tuesday & Thursday Spin Monday & Wed. Stretch & Strength Monday & Wed. Tai Chi Tuesday & Thursday Tennis F IT N ES S & W E L L N E S S (PAY-AS-YOU-GO) Monday STEP Tuesday TA E BOX Wednesday BO O T CAMP BODY DESIGN Thursday Friday PO W ER YO G A Friday SPIN Sunday A E R O B IC S ONE ON ONE bv appointment Fitn e ss Appraisal (Private) by appointment Personal Training (Private) by appointment P e r s o n a l T r a in in g (Semi-Private) by appointment Skating (Private) by appointment Skating (Semi-Private) by appointment Sq u ash (Private) by appointment Sq u ash (Semi-Private) by appointment Swim (Private) by appointment Swim (Semi-Private) by appointment Tennis (Private) by appointment Tennis (Semi-Private)

WKS 6

16:45-17:30 17:30-18:15 11:30-12:15 12:15-13:00 13:00-13:55 15:00-15:55 16:00-16:55 09:00-09:55 11:00-11:55 14:00-14:55 16:00-16:55 13:00-13:55 15:00-15:55 16:00-16:55 16:00-16:55 14:00-14:55 10:00-10:55

Tennis Intro

COST 23.69/36.86

Monday Thursday Saturday Sunday Monday Monday Thursday Friday Friday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Wednesday Thursday Tuesday Wednesday Friday

(C a rd io -R e s p ira to ry E n d u ra n c e )

Stroke Improvement DANCE Ballet Belly Dancing Belly Dancing Club Latin Flam enco Hip Hop

DAY &TIME

COURSE

12:15-13:00 12:30-13:15 12:15-13:00 12:15-13:00 13:00-13:45 12:15-13h00 13:00-13:45 12:00-12:45 12:15-13:00 12:15-13:00 12:00-12:45 12:15-13:00 13:00-13:45 13:00-13:45 13:00-13:45 13:00-13:45 18:00-18:55 17:00-17:55 18:00-18:55 17h00-17h55 17h30-18h25 18:00-18:55 12:00-12:55

o r www.athletics.mcgill.ca

$13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16 $13.16

13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13

2.19 2.19 2.19 2.19 2.19 2.19 2.19 43.88/48.27 43.88/48.27 29.83/34.22 15.80/20.18 11.41/15.80 21.06/25.45 14.04/18.43 15.80/20.18 11.41/15.80 21.94/26.32 14.92/19.31

1.5 hrs 1.25 hrs 1.25 hrs 1/2 hr 1/2 hr 45 min 45 min 1/2 hr 1/2 hr 1 hr 1 hr

McGill

O pinion

THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE

Every good boy deserves a taser

TINTED GLASSES

True love waits... ...for puberty K at G ibson KAPPALETTA@HOTMAIL.COM emember puberty? With bodies Fair enough.The school has, however, been handing out condoms since 1992 and I'm changing and hormones racing, who didn't love those early years of sex­ probably not alone in thinking there is a ual development? Not to mention those difference between giving an 11 year old a laughable health classes, where we learned condom and giving her a dose of estrogen. about boy bodies, girl bodies and “sexual I'm also not alone, I assume, in my skepti­ reproduction." I don't know about the rest cism about an 11-year-old's ability to re­ of you, but somewhere during my elemen­ sponsibly take the pill. I know girls my age tary school's lesson about how "sex is a who can't seem to handle the task— sub­ wonderful gift from God that adults share tract 11 years of maturity and the likelihood when they're in love," we all picked up on of optimal sexual protection isn't high. We now have a teenybopper who mistakenly the do's and don'ts of safe sex.

By grade eight I had been taught what thinks she can't get pregnant and who probably doesn't have the maturity to fully the birth control pill was, how condoms worked and what STI's we would catch if understand that the pill isn't going to do we even thought about having sex without anything to protect her from STI's. one. Not that we were told to start having Beyond any of these concerns, how­ ever, is the fact that many studies have sex parties, but neither were we protected from information about the big bad sex act shown an increased risk of breast cancer nor expected to believe that abstinence with prolonged use of the birth control pill. was the only option. I could be wrong of The pill contains estrogen, which is linked course, but I really don't think that any of to breast cancer because of its role in stim­ ulating breast cell division. While far from my classmates saw our middle-aged, bald­ ing teacher putting a condom on a banana conclusive, these studies certainly suggest and decided that they had to have sex that we don't want to start pumping devel­ oping females with estrogen starting at the A.S.A.P. Besides, if any of my more devel­ age of 11. oped classmates were going to be having sex before high school, not knowing how None of these criticisms need appeal to religion, morality or the ludicrous as­ condoms worked probably wasn't going to stop them. sumption that equipping children with the Abstinence-only education doesn't knowledge of safe sex somehow encour­ work and it cripples the kids who want to ages them to be promiscuous. Some chil­ dren will become sexually active well be­ have sex anyway by denying them the in­ formation they need to stay safe. Still, I have fore most deem it appropriate, regardless of their awareness of safe sexual practice. Any a hard time understanding a Maine ele­ mentary school's decision to distribute hor­ approach to the issue that ignores this fact is downright negligent. On the other hand, mone-related birth control methods (the pill, the patch and the shot) to n year olds however, we must not treat these children without their parents' permission. Defend­ as though they are adults in mind or body. ers of the decision say that some children An 11-year-old is a child even if she is en­ lack the parental involvement required gaging in adult activities and any treatment of her sexual health must bear this in mind. to keep them safe and that these kids are Do we really want to give these girls medi­ more likely to be having sex at a young age.

Therefore, they should have access to con­ cation that stops their periods altogether... traception through other trusted adults. before they've even had their first? ■

R

B en L emieux BENLEMIEUX@GMAIL.COM

n the evening news since the taser inci­ dent last fall, and in the wake of Robert Dziekànski's death this October, electro­ shock weapons have been making headlines as the foremost threat to individual rights and public safety (with the Jigsaw Killer coming in a close second). With every fresh and frustrating news re­ port about tasers claiming yet another victim, the devices become exponentially more terrifying to the public's ever-watchful eye.

Rather than adopting a measured stance vis-à-vis these security tools, people are now de­ crying them as inhumane and demanding they be banned outright. On what grounds are they doing this? Well, the weapons are available to every police officer and school security guard with an IQ slightly above room temperature, their use is sanctioned and easy and they deliver a po­ tentially fatal 30,000 volt payload faster than you can say "Don't tase me, bro!"What on Earth could be scarier?

How about criminals? You know, those mem­ bers of society who are like everybody else except for the lack of a moral compass and disregard for basic property and corporeal rights.

People see only what they want to see (read: what supports their own worldview or justifies their established prejudices). For every horrific, anxiety-inducing YouTube video of some unsus­ pecting, unobtrusive college kid being gratu­ itously jolted by an electroshock weapon, there is equally compelling footage of a police officer being mercilessly assailed and having no ade­ quate, measured defensive recourse.

One incident comes to mind— a lone female police officer had stopped a burly, ^urly driver on the autoroute for a traffic violation, found some form of contraband in his car, was overpowered and had her face bludgeoned to an unrecogniz­ able mish-mash of bruised fresh, fractured bone and dislocated mandible while trying to take him into custody. In another incident, a similar traffic stop resulted in a male officer being relentlessly attacked by a larger, stronger man. He was tack­ led, strangled and ultimately had to subdue the aggressor by shooting him in the gut with his ser­ vice revolver.

O

Inarguably, risk is a routine part of police work. However, if and when officers find them­ selves in potentially life-threatening confronta­ tions, a taser is an expedient, sure-fire way to incapacitate a dangerous or threatening suspect while minimizing the risk of long-term damage.

No one would argue that tasers are foolproof, but the choice of catching some voltage or catching a bullet isn't much of a choice at all.

Amnesty International began researching the use of tasers in 2001 and since then has con­ firmed approximately 245 taser-related deaths.

This information tells us two things. Foremost, the misuse of tasers is nothing new, nor is it bald-faced travesty— it has only elicited strong reactions and sanctimonious backlash since the issue has been media-salient. Second, it tells us that the issue has been altogether blown out of proportion.

In the U.S., road and automobile accidents claim 44,000 lives every year— the number one cause of child death. Such accidents kill 2,500 Canadians yearly. In 2006, 29 construction work­ ers died on the job in New York City alone. In the last 20 years, the number of construction work­ ers who have died from injuries sustained while working exceeds 20,000 and is steadily on the rise. Do these issues garner media attention? Do they prompt people to vitriolic rage to demand that Ford halt production or that scaffolding be no higher than nine feet? Absolutely not, because the loss of convenience provided by these tools outweighs the loss of life.

The same could be argued of tasers. They are a potent asset to law enforcement agents, if used wisely. Rather than adopting an extreme view and calling for a comprehensive ban of the devices, why not instate more rigorous safety precautions, like we would with automobiles or construction sites? Why not simply make sure that officers equipped with tasers are aware of their power, know what is 'appropriate' usage and reprimand hotheads for gross misuse of the devices?

Between 2001 and 2007,245 people died not because of tasers, but because of poor judgment.

In calling for a ban on tasers, we are but demon­ strating the same poverty of judgm ent and ab­ sence reason that we claim to oppose. ■

±40°

When you're young at heart...

D avid L evitz DAVI D.LEVITZ@MAI L.MCGI LL.CA hile many scheme about how to get what they want in life, I more often find myself pondering, “What is it that I want?"

Whenever I voice these concerns to my dad, he immedi­ ately launches into a speech about how these years are meant for asking such questions. He then tells me the story about how he changed his major in his fourth year, worked at the family furniture store and moved to Buffalo for two years to start a meat warehouse before deciding to write a Ph.D. in mathemat­ ical logic. Meanwhile, my mom madly e-mails me links to grad schools and internship postings, worried that I may be serious about moving to California to join a commune or backpacking across a distant continent from one organic farming gig to the next.

According to New York Times columnist David Brooks, my parents shouldn't panic just yet. The man who coined the term "bobo" ("bourgeois bohemian") has come up with the latest buzz-term to describe the life phase of middle class twentysomethings: "the odyssey years." This expression is meant to re­ assure our concerned Baby Boomer parents by giving a name to their children's apparent insanity: "Young people grow up in tightly structured childhoods...

W

but then graduate into a world characterized by uncertainty, diversity, searching and tinkering. Old success recipes don't apply, new norms have not been established and everything seems to give way to a less permanent version of itself."

For us students, Brooks' words just give new expression to the uncertainty of our lives which we already see as selfevident. Canadian author David Rakoff describes the situation better when he writes, "Youth is not wasted on the young. It is perpetrated on the young."

By this time, we have gotten over the illusion that we will live forever, most of us having experienced and internalized the death of a loved one. For me, it's not that I don't appreciate being young. Rather, I am too often caught between the desire to take advantage of my youth and the many obstacles to its full enjoyment: work overload, inclement weather, occasional to frequent existential crises, stress, stressed friends, too few hours in a day, high prices and low funds.

"Don't go out," I tell myself. "You won't get enough sleep and you can't afford to get sick with three assignments due next week." I am 21 years young, as they say in personal ads, and I live in the Plateau, which basically means that I walk by count­ less gorgeous restaurants every day that I neither have the time

nor money to eat in. Also, I don't know if I am overly morbid or just vain, but I have already begun mourning the fact that, by the time I can afford to buy a new wardrobe, I may no longer have the body for it. At retirement age (God willing) I will have all the time in the world, but will I have the joints to go hiking?

A year or two ago I thought I would die if I ever had to enter the world of 9-to-5 jobs. I still hope to avoid it, but now I think about how much free time I would have if I could just leave my work at work.

In short I am still waiting for this legendary "carefree"youth to start. Will it begin when I start working a job full time?

In the meantime, misery loves company. It's amazingly re­ assuring to find that others are going through the same stress.

Meeting people I know on campus, it always seems to be the same:"Oh, I'm all right. How are you?"...About a minute later the person has revealed to me that he or she is semi-suicidal.

"It's that time of year," we both say. But really "that time of year" is one to two months of each semester. Still, it is somehow consoling to discover that someone else is equally depressed, overwhelmed, dejected and lost as me, if not more so.

Actually, in many ways the"odysseyyears"arejusta poorer, thinner and hornier version of real adulthood in all its glory. ■

04.12.07 "The McGill Tribune • 9

T

r ib u n e

EDITORIAL

www.mcgilltribune.com

D e c k th e (le ctu re ) H alls

E ditor- in-C hief

Tiffany Choy editor@mcgilltribune.com M anaging E ditors

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Meghna Marjadi Carolyn Yates features@mcgilltribune.com A rts & E ntertainment E ditors

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Matt Chesser Aaron Sigal sports@mcgilltribune.com P hoto E ditors

Niki Hyde Sara Yousefnejad photo@mcgilltribune.com C opy E ditor

Crystal Chan copy@mcgilltribune.com

e here at the McGill Tribune are dedi­ cated to community service. As such, we have taken it upon ourselves to share certain people's holiday wish lists with the general student body. It took months of planning, but we were able to break into Santa's office and steal the wish lists just for you, dear readers. So without fur­ ther ado, we present the holiday wishes of some of our favourite people here on campus: Principal Heather Munroe-Blum has asked for giant burlap sacks of money, insisting that it doesn't matter what source they came from. (And if it's not too much to ask, some residuals from 'Meatballs 5'for her husband...)

SSMU President Jake Itzkowitz wants a sweet letter of reccommendation from the aforemen­ tioned Dr. Munroe-Blum for Hanukkah. And four more years.

McGill's very own VP Finance, Imad Barake, wants only one thing: a money tree to shake.

VP Clubs and Services Marcelle Kosman sometimes seems a bit frazzled and would like nothing more than a time-turner from Harry Pot­ ter to add hours to the day.

Strangely enough, Conservative McGill also didn't ask for anything— apparently, they mistook Santa's traditional red garb as a symbol of com­ munism.

And let's not forget Liberal McGill. They'd like Justin Trudeau to be their poster boy. Oh wait...

SSMU's new retail outlet Haven Books' wish list is simple: customers. Also, free publicity. Looks like Christmas came early for someone!

Everyone's favourite Arts Senator, Dan King, has (not surprisingly) asked to be Canada's Next Great Prime Minister.

Apparently, Architecture Café would like its independence back.

Chartwells asked for only one thing— "mo­ nopoly." They didn't capitalize it, so we're assum­ ing it's not the board game.

SOAP (Students Organized Against Protest) is asking for some megaphones and bright or­ ange jumpsuits so they-can make themselves an

W

even more loud-mouthed nuissance on campus.

Plus the new director's cut of the Star Trek II: The Wrath o f Khan. KHAAAAAAAAAAN! Instead of a wishlist, our dear friends at GRASPé wrote a ten-page diatribe to Santa critiquing the expoitative nature of Christmas and the opressive industrial conditions faced by the elves of Santa's workshop.

Varsity Men's Volleyball is asking dear Santa to stuff a win in their stocking this year. Along with perhaps a nice satsuma or toy train.

Everyone's favourite humour rag The Red Herring would like to liberate the student body from the tyrannical reign of Gorilla Q. Everyman.

The Roddick Gates were very good this year and asked Santa for the return the 'person of sus­ picious racial and religious convictions'. After all, whose day is complete without a little unjustifi­ able anti-Semitism?

CKUT bizzarely asked for the latest NOW that's what I call music! Looks like someone's planning to go Top 40.

In contrast, all TV McGill wants is for you to turn them on.

Tribune columnist and former editor Ben

Lemieux has a very long list of presents this year, but he's probably just getting coal. First of all, he'd like Celine Dion tickets, a copy of the movie 'Les Boys' and a small Stuffed Bonhomme. Also, he asked for a new cell phone number and to write under a nom de plume (pen nam e)... but he prob­ ably won't be getting that. Just coal.

The other universities sent in lists as well; we couldn't help sneaking a peek. Concordia asked for a President who doesn't suppress campus newspapers. UQAM, on the other hand, wants something much more simple: your money.

Also, riot police to deal with all these damned demonstrators.

There you have it, if there's anything main­ stream religions like voodoo and Oprahism have taught us, it's that the most important thing to embrace this month isn't a bottle of brandy or your incontinent aunt Phyllis, it's the supposedly intrin­ sic human quality of selflessness. So if you happen to run into any of the people on this list, please do your best to help them with their Christmas wishes. Go to Haven Books every once in a while, toss UQAM the spare change and be sure to have yourself a happy holiday season. ■

Bad X-mas gifts

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Femi Kassim

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online@mcgilltribune.com

If " p ro te c te d sex" is P lan B, w h a t's p la n A ?

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generation ago, the mention of sex— let alone the use of contraceptives— was taboo in mainstream media. Nowadays however, advertisers push condoms, birth control pills and other forms of contraception as if they are a form of self-expression, and even ZoomMedia— the bane of the student anti-corporatization movement— is helping to promote Plan B, or "the morning-after pill."

Although I admit that the sign that greets me every time I go into the ladies' locker room telling me that Plan B is "the oh ooooh oooh oooh yeah, oh yeah, oh ye ah ... oh no, oh no, no, no pilL'is kind of cute, some of the other slogans that are part of the campaign simply turn me off. It's hard to ignore the flagrant irresponsibility implied by the giant "the I drank four martinis, three shooters, then I met some bastard and the rest is a little fuzzy pill” poster.

Also, somebody was definitely bitter about a former teen relationship when they came up with the slo­ gan: "The I didn't know a guy could come that fast pill."To make matters worse, the company encour­ ages people to "share your oops" on their Web site, as if having reckless, frequent, unprotected sex was just some little, excusable mistake.

Before you call me a prude, I do understand that rampant casual sex is a part of many univer­ sity students' lives— including that of my freshman self— and that creating awareness for contracep­

A

tives is important in preventing unplanned preg­ nancy and the spread of STIs. So what do I have against Four-Martini Girl? Quite simply, treating Plan B like any other form of contraception is per­ fectly ridiculous. First of all, Plan B provides no pro­ tection against STIs. If all those Cosmos and Fuzzy Navels convinced her that rubbers were the wave of yesterday, then frankly, she probably has prob­ lems that Plan B just can't fix.

As far as pregnancy goes, the effectiveness of Plan B decreases significantly 24 hours after her sexual encounter with 'some bastard.' Do you really think she is going to stumble out to the pharmacy or the CLSC in her hungover state? Even if she does, how many times can she afford these last minute measures before she has to pawn off her hot pink Razr? At up to $50 for a pack of two pills, Plan B is expensive compared to other forms of contracep­ tion. In addition, a whole month of anguish lies ahead as she impatiently waits for her period to come, hoping that she is not pregnant.

Fortunately, Four-Martini Girl is not real, but the issue here is that this is an entire advertising campaign promoting what is essentially unprotect­ ed sex, while implying that women are not smart enough to see through the flashy, disco-era in­ spired posters. A little background research on the makers of Plan B— Barr Pharmaceuticals— makes it obvious why they are promoting this product. As a

manufacturer of mainly generic drugs, Plan B is their only proprietary drug that is well rec­ ognized by consumers. Their other propri­ etary brands, Seasonique and Mircette, simply cannot compete with more commonly pre­ scribed contraceptives such as Tri-Cyclen-Lo or Alesse.

The pharmaceutical industry is obviously very lucrative and it is probably very difficult to change the prescribing habits of individual physicians. Still, it is unrealistic to try to penetrate the oral contra­ ceptive market with emergency contraception, even if both are taken orally. Although Barr Pharmaceu­ ticals may be capitalizing on the fact that you do not need a prescription to get Plan B, they should still be responsible enough to turn consumers to other forms of contraception first, especially since the company makes them. Like calling a plumber before you've tried the plunger, their current ap­ proach just doesn't make any sense.

While the ads are trying hard to tell us oth­ erwise, we've all hopefully been bombarded with enough Safe Sex propaganda to know that the morning after shouldn't have to involve a pill; tuck some condoms in your purse and stick to Plan A— you can still find out how fast a guy can come. ■ Vinccl Tsui is a U3 dietetics student, and longtime Tribune news contributor.

The M cG ill Tribune is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the Students'Society of McGill University in collaboration with the Tribune Publication Society. Opinions expressed do not necessarily represent those of the Students'Society or McGill University. Letters to the editor may be sent to letters@mcgilltribune.com and must include the contributor's name, program and year and contact information. Letters should be kept under 300 words and submitted only to the Tribune. Submissions judged by theTribune Publication Society to be libellous, sexist, racist, homophobic or solely promotional in nature will not be published. The Tribune reserves the right to edit all contributions.

Editorials are decided upon and written by the editorial board. All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the M cG ill Tribune, its editors or its staff. Please recycle this newspaper.

10 «The McGill Tribune -4.12.07

PARRY & THRUST

Revenge of the nerds The Ganaalf vs Dumbledore smackdown E l iz a b e t h P erle a n d C o n o r G r a h a m

Ladies and gentlemen, here it is— the long-awaited smack-down between Dumbledore, former head o f Hogwarts School o f Witch­ craft and wizardry, Chief Warlock o f the Wizengamot, Order o f Mer­ lin 1st class; and Gandalfthe Grey, Mithrandir, head o f the gathering storm. Whose magic is more powerful? Whose hat is pointier? And who will fill your dreams with disturbing notions o f time spent in the company o f those much younger than they?

Liz won't be taken for some conjurer of cheap tricks: First of all, the size of one's...magical rod counts for something. Put Dumbledore in front of an army of Uruk-hai and his little wand would drop before he could say "Bernie Bott's Every Flavour Beans!" (Tastes of Man Flesh!) A few thrusts of Gandalf's staff, however, combined with an army of walking tree trunks, thou­ sands of mounted men and some feisty hobbits actually saves the day— every Shire-tastic time. And friends, be honest: Apparation, Floo networks and broomsticks are not the way to travel in style. If given the choice, you know you'd pick Shadowfax, King of the shimmery, white, magical horses. Plus, giant, talk­ ing eagle or whiny little phoenix? C'mon. You know his constant crying would get on your nerves eventually, precious.

Conor casts REDUCTO' on Liz's argument: The size of one's rod?

You're right, it doesn't matter that Dumbledore's wand was the great wand, one of the Deathly Flallows, made to be more pow­ erful than all others! What did Gandalf have? Oh, right, a freakin' branch. 1o points to Griffindor! Oh no, trees, whatever sha II we do?

Letter to th e ed ito r Le Délit takes offence The editorial board of McGill's j francophone newspaper Le Délit j takes great issue with the letter of t Mr. Lucas Kilravey, published in the | Nov. 13 edition ofThe McGill Tribune, j This letter should not have been | published.

Mr. Kilravey's letter inappropri­ ately attacks Le Délit's coordinating [ news editor, Zoé Gagnon-Paquin, in a manner that is beyond the bounds of acceptable limit, containing inac­ curacies, distortions and outrageous | comments.

• The mission of Le Délit is to speak to the needs and concerns of j McGill's francophone students.

It is not open forThe McGill Tri­ bune to publish any or every letter it receives. It is commonly understood that proper journalistic procédure requires that at a minimum, letters to the Editor should be fair and rea­ sonable comment.

Mr. Kilravey's letter appears to not only denigrate Quebec soci­ ety, but Ms. Gagnon-Paquin and Le Délit.

Ad hominem attacks have no place in any publication. Mr. Kilravey's letter does not foster reasoned and passionate public debate— on the contrary it promotes stereotypes. It is reactionary and represents a gross failure to understand the history and context of current Quebec public debate.

Le Délit demands an apology from The McGill Tribune and sug­ gests that The Tribune re-examine its guidelines for the publication of letters.

— Laurence Martin Le Délit Coordinating Editor

Ednote: The Tribune's policy for ac­ cepting and printing letters is clari­ fied in our general disclaimer below the masthead. We make every effort to publish afl letters we receive that are deemed appropriate by the edi­ torial board.

INCENDIOl Shit, now they're on fire. Also, if you were to ask Gan­ dalf if he wanted the power of appartition so that he could have found the banished Rohirim and had them back at Flelm's Deep before the fifth day, I'm pretty sure he'd say yes. Oh, and, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that Giant Eagle tears could heal wounds like Phoenix tears, oh wait, THEY CAN'T. Plus, at least Dumb­ ledore didn't go wandering around the countryside with legalage but somehow very young looking hobbits, wink wink.

Liz throws Conor into shadow: Okay, look. We all know J.K. outed Dumbledore. Let's face it: it's hard to come out of the closet post-humously but the old man doesn't seem too worse for the wear. So yes— Dumbledore has some solid gay cred.

BUT, dear readers, I have three words for you: Sir. Ian. McKel­ len. 'Nuff said. (As if appearing in Peter Jackson's "wait, Sam's his gardener?!" The Lord o f the Rings wasn't enough) A few classic Gandalf quotes for your reading pleasure: “It is in Men that we must place our hope.""Don't... tempt me Frodo!" By sheer force of gayness, Gandalf wins this round. Now fly, you fool!

Conor IMPERIUS's Liz into letting him win: Not that he would ever take advantage of the students he loves so much, but if you're looking for the most potential gayness, then Dumbledore is your man. The head of England's premiere magical school for under-age wizards, some of which happen to be young and nubile because of an unstable family life back home. Remem­ ber the castle's house-elves? More like sex-slaves. The room of

requirement? Could have been filled with sex toys and peach lube for all we know. The point remains, a lower wizard such as Gandalf might have taken advantage of this, but the superior merits of Dumbledore kept him away from these vile thoughts and on the straight and narrow, so to speak.

Liz comes back at the turn of the tide: It's true, both wizards meet their (Mount) dooms. However, while Dumbledore is busy frolicking around in Harry Potter Heaven dispensing advice, Gandalf comes back, stronger, wiser and a heck of a lot shinier.

And just look at IMDB: Sir Ian turned down the role of Dumb­ ledore in the 2004 Harry Potter movie. Therefore this means that the moviemakers felt that it was GANDALF who was the superior wizard. Thankfully, he knew the role would do nothing for his rep as the baddest, curmudgeonliest, gayest and most kick ass wizard ever, by Gollum! Put THAT in your pipeweed and smoke it, Dursley.

Conor catches the snitch: As for his returning as the white wizard, I'll admit that was a pretty cool parlor trick (ignoring of course the sudden transportation of Balrog and Gandalf from the pit of the earth to the highest mountain top, yeah right) but Dumbledore is all the more powerful as he lives on in each of his students and colleagues. Remember, help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it. Finally, Gandalf may have come back to life because of his 'unfinished business,' but for Dum bledore". . . death is but the next great adventure." ■

i t 's e a s y t o g e t a w a y w it h m u r d e r in w in t e r , b e c a u s e y o u c a n d u m p t h e b o d ie s a n y w h e r e .

B u t d e s p it e s u c h s e a s o n a l b e n e f i t s , t h e r e a r e a l o t o f b a d t h in g s a b o u t w in t e r . B u s s e s ARE SLOWER, TRAFFIC IS MORE CONGESTED, THERE ARE A TOTAL OF THREE HOURS OF ACTUAL DAY­ LIGHT AND IT SNOWS THROUGH THEM AND AND THE ONLY THING MORE UNPLEASANT THAN YOUR STINKY WET SOCKS WHEN YOU UNDERESTIMATE THE DEPTH OF A SNOWBANK IS THE SMELL OF YOUR r o o m m a t e 's . y o u in

W h il e h ib e r n a t io n m a y n o t b e a v i a b l e o p t i o n , it is c e r t a i n l y a d v i s a b l e . S e e

J an uary.

Oh and—

b e s u r e t o e n jo y t h e h o l id a y s .

Did Santa steal Christmas?

Screening a new set of values in the holiday film E l iz a b e t h P e r l e

W hen was the last tim e you saw an epic pirate movie in theatres around Christ­ mas?

W hile sum m ertim e flicks tend to be violent action films w ith strong sexual con-

NIKI HYDE How much did they spend on these ornaments?

tent, com e w intertim e the explosions, nu­ dity and gore seem to all but disappear and becom e replaced w ith Tim Allen in a Santa suit, talking CGI snow m en and more focus on the fam ily than Fox News.

Movies released during the holidays generally fall into four broad categories: Oscar contenders (as the Academ y has a notoriously short attention span), horror film s (though, closer to Halloween than not) and fam ily holiday film s.Though fam ­ ily movies can be box office hits year round, they flourish particularly during the w inter season and are codified in many, often problematic, ways.

Coupled with holiday them es, they preach philanthropic values against the com m odity culture o f the masses, w hile sim ultaneously reeling in the big bucks for production com pa­ nies.

Yet The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (the cartoon or Jim Carey's scenery chew ing per­ form ance) says: "Every Who dow n in Who-ville, the tall and the small, was singing! Without any presents at all!"

However, according to sorrteTinedta experts, the holiday film genre may finally be undergo­ ing some changes and w hile movies like this year's Fred Claus m ay not ap­ pear to be advocating the w holesom e "holiday spirit" o f The Grinch, they m ight ju st be paving the w ay for a more honest

representation o f the season and the clas­ sic Christm as figures w e know and love.

A conservative Winter Wonderland “Most o f the families [in holiday films] are represented as mother-father and usually tw o children,"says Marianne Stenbaek, professor o f mass media and com m unication studies at McGill. "I cannot think o f a fam ily movie w here there w ere tw o male parents or tw o fem ale parents."

In this sense, perhaps the holiday or fam ­ ily film remains more insulated from social change than other genres.

Though some Christm as family films are finally beginning to represent some progressive val­ ues, such as last year's The Family Stone, w hich had its token gay cou­ ple and individuals w ith liberal values, they stiH—seem to elevate the tradi­ tional, nuclear fam<SÜ ily above all else in A common sight in department stores,'Santa'is both a jolly old man the holidays. and the very image of consumerism.

"To a certain extent, [the genre] does not need to

adapt as quickly [as others],"says Stenbaek.

"The holiday movie is fundam entalist and

F a m ily t o g e t h e r n e s s ? J u s t g e t it fro m t h e th e a t r e s The top grossing Christmas day releases J ohn S em ley

Islam, right?

Although all god-fearing film buffs are spending tim e with their families or hud­ dling en mass in some stiff wooden pews on Decem ber 25th, some studio execs think it's a great idea to release movies. Maybe they think it's like a little present for those o f us who've invested so much m oney and tim e in their products over the course of the fiscal year— they are a sort-of cinem atic holiday stocking stuffer. Then again, more often, these Christmas Day releases sit more like a lum p of coal than visions o f sugar­ plums and whatever-the-hell else.

Catch Me If You Can, Dir. Steven Spielberg (2002). Christmas gross: $9,882,063 This cat-and-mouse 'true story' of pro­ fessional confidence man Frank Abagnale Jr. and his obsessive FBI pursuer put a far share o f asses in the seats Christmas Day, w hich probably has a lot to do with the com bined dream boat star-power of Tom Cruise and Leonardo DiCaprio and some Steven Something-or-other w ho directed it.

A cool bebop score by John Williams and all the bad daddy subtext make it fairly stan­ dard Spielberg fare.

AH, Dir. Michael Mann (2001).

Christmas gross: $ 10,216,625 Can anyone say'W illenium ? Will Smith's measured ascent out of the mire o f smartalecky black guy typecasting (Men in Black, Independence Day) culm inated in a deft por­ trayal o f Cassius Clay in this typically'inspir­ ing'sports biopic. But strong performances

by Jon Voight as Howard Kossel, Mario Van Peebles as Malcolm X and Smith himself, w ho received an Oscar nod for his por­ trayal o f a young free-floatin' heavyweight powerhouse, managed to make this more than standard big-budget holiday fare.'Cos nothing shouts Christmas more than a flick about a draft-dodging boxer w ho ditches his slave name and joins the Nation of

Dreamgirls, Dir. Bill Condon (2006).

Christmas gross: $8,726,095 Based on the Broadway play o f the sam e name, here's a conventional musical that (astoundingly!) doubles as a period piece and triples as a showcase for Eddie Murphy acting so decently you'd swear that wasn't him w ho starred in Daddy Daycare (or The Haunted Mansion or Pluto Nash or Vampire in Brooklyn or w hatever else he was in since Beverly Hills Cop II). Fellow comiccum-serious thespian Jam ie Foxx puts in a similarly passable performance. Apparently this movie was nominated for a bunch of awards, too.

Patch Adams, Dir. Tom Shadyac (1998).

Christmas gross: $8,081,760 Here's positive proof that not only will people drop some ungodly sum to go to a movie on Christmas, but also that the av­ erage m em ber o f the movie-going public doesn't have enough IQ points to start a fire.

In this'film .'M orkfrom Ork plays some'crazy' doctor w hose 'unconventional' approach to m edicine gets him in trouble with some cartoonishly evil top brass types (that guy from Demolition Man). He spends the w hole movie acting like a dum bass and bothering the terminally ill until he ends up tricking some dude into killing himself. This is the type of movie your parents tell you to watch and then you do and just end up thinking about how lucky it is that your parents are married to each other.

Cheaper by the Dozen, Dir. Shawn Levy (2003). Christmas gross: $7,839,594 What proves genuinely confound­ ing is that Cheaper by the Dozen is the fifth highest-grossing movie ever released on Christmas Day. Are there really that many forlorn, sterile singles w ho can only allay the soul-consuming loneliness promised by the Holidays by going to see a movie where Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt have 12 kids?

Not to mention the fact that the cast is filled out by the apotheoses o f baneful teenage obnoxiousness, Hilary Duff and Ashton Kutcher. Was this thing just cooked up to

docum ent the triple-lindy freefall nosedive w hich has been Steve Martin's career since they stopped pairing him with Bernadette Peters? "Woah-oh! He's a modern dad but he can't handle this wild gaggle of young­ sters!" No shit! They have like a million kids!

Go read a book. ■

NIKI HYDE &SARA YOUSEFNEJAD Some just wait for the DVD release.

[embodies] old conservative values."

Deck the halls with new values However, according to William Palmer an, English professor at Purdue University, the latest crop o f Christm as movies is finally inciting a m ovem ent aw ay from traditional, family-oriented values overw helm ingly reli­ gious ideals. "[There has been a] shift from the more Christian, hopeful Christm as film s o f redem p­ tion of the past— Dickens' A Christmas Carol, It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street— to a m uch more materialistic, cynical, darker form of Christm as film at the beginning of the 21st century," says Palmer, noting the re­ cent exam ples of Bad Santa (2003), Surviving Christmas (2004) and Deck the Halls (2006).

Palmer attributes this m ovem ent to rapid social and technological changes occurringin North Am erican society. He also suggests that the increasing focus w ithin the psycho­ analytic com m unity on the causes and treat­ m ent of depression has played a role in this bleaker media treatm ent of the holiday sea­ son.

In this sense, perhaps new er film s rep­ resent a larger rejection o f the short-term return to conservative values mirrored by holiday films, in favour of a more socially pro­ gressive look at "Christian" them es and a re­ shaping o f the genre.

A new Santa's coming to town The subversion of classical notions of .. conservative, "holiday" values has been illus­ tra te d m ost strikingly through a re-defined, NIKI HYDE hum anized representation o f Santa Claus in Dig box office films, arguably incited by The Santa Claus (1994) and followed by other fam ily targeted film s such as Elf and, more recently, Fred Claus.

This more three-dim ensional and less sym bolic pro­ jection of Santa is supported by the films' glim pses into the structures w here Santa's gifts— traditionally associated with a realm outside the econom ic sphere— are produced n the North Pole. In these movies, they are likened to large factories and the elves to subordinate workers.

NIKI HYDE

This wreath represents elf slave-labour. Enjoy, kids!

SARAYOUSEFNEJAD

Lightly jogging in a winter wonderland: Is this person perpetuating archetypes?

"Have you noticed how recent Christm as film s are all about m achines and Santa's workshop at the North Pole is more like an autom obile assem bly plant than the elfpopulated cottage industry for toym aking o f the past?" asks Palmer.

Charles Keil, associate professor and director of the Cinem a Studies Institute at the University ofToronto, points to the exam ple o f Fred Claus for a factory representation of North Pole gift production. "[In the movie], as soon as you get into the set up of Santa's w orkshop— w ith the toys and everything— that becom es in som e w ays a version o f consum erism , because you know those toys have to be bought, as Santa doesn't really deliver them or anything," he says.

Come on, ring those factory bells These new holiday film s— à la Tim Allen and Paul Giam atti— are making explicit w hat had been previously im ­ plicit about good o l'Saint Nick: Santa em bodies the capi­ talist culture of consum ption incited by the holiday season.

On the sam e vein, the North Pole is exposed as a m icro­ cosm o f a capitalist society, dependent on large factories and a hierarchical em ployee structure.

According to Palmer, however, such representations o f Santa and the North Pole also represent the increasingly stale, technologically dependent aspect o f North Am eri­ can culture. "[The im age o f Santa] definitely feeds into 21st cen­ tury .com m odity culture's material focus. Santa Claus no longer gives children 'little toy drums' and sleds; now he is merchandising Playstations and video games. We live in a Cyber world w here everything is a sim ulacrum and reality no longer exists thus Santa and Christmas w ere doomed to change to fit this world," Palmer says. "These films are no longer about redem ption from a meaningless matérialiste life [like] Scrooge or about helping those less fortunate than ourselvesflike] Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim . Christm as

movies now are about Santa Claus as a major retailer like Sam Walton."

The 12 days of consumerism Regardless o f his cinem atic portrayal, Santa remains the face of the stim ulation for dem and. It is telling that the "m odern"im age of Santa, (a jolly old man in a red and w hite suit), was projected to such an extent by Coca-Cola in the 1930s that it is often falsely credited as their invention.

As one m ight expect, there also exists a strong rela­ tionship betw een holiday films and the increase in retail consum ption over the holidays. For exam ple, by encour­ aging and perpetuating the holiday spirit, w hich is depen­ dent on gift giving, these movies are ultimately spurring the economy.

"Films are in a bit o f a bind, because films are them ­ selves a consum er product. It w ould be the height o f hy­ pocrisy for holiday films to rail against consum erism w hen they're asking audiences to partake in the spirit of consum ­ erism," Keil says. "The standard approach is to keep aw ay from the w hole critique o f [consum erism] altogether and to just not get involved in the issue, or to buy into it, but in a fairly passive way."

Stenbaek looks to The Grinch Who Stole Christmas as an exam ple o f the inherent contradiction between the al­ truistic values that holiday movies project and their com ­ mercial foundations.

"The thesis [in The Grinch] is that gifts don't matter and it's all about your heart, but kids are smarter than that," she says. "I have grandchildren w ith Grinch dolls at home; there's a very direct link betw een [consum erism and holi­ day films]. But som ehow w e like to pretend it isn't there and that it's all about fam ily and love."

And perhaps the end of The Grinch says it all: though "the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day," Christ­ mas w as ultim ately saved w hen he brought back all the toys on his sleigh. ■

Student L iving X VS Y

Boxing Day vs Black Friday

The tw o notoriously violent spending extravaganzas m eet in the rink BOXING DAY

BLACK FRIDAY

Date & time:

n other

Date & time: The day after American Thanksgiving, across th< States.

Origin:

Origin: Most sources state that "Black Friday" is a reference chaos and heavy-traffic of the shopping holiday that slowly e in the latter 20th century and harkens back to when the stocl crashed in 1929— "BlackTuesday." The first concrete reference Friday came in a 1975 New York Times article.

Purpose: Gluttonous consumerism!

Purpose- Gluttonous consumerism Projected level of violence Medium. Perhaps because of the have Quite the anarchic reputation of its American Black Friday counterpart. However, a notable 2005 shooting in the Toronto Eaton Centre has shown Canadian consumers that Boxing Day is no laughing matter.

Size of consumer markdowns: Moderate. Though Box ing Day 2005 was estimated as the largest single day of retail economic ions in Canadian history, Canadian de ' canipete with the American retail holiday.

Official status: Boxing Day is a legal holiday and several prov­ inces have enacted legislation to ban retailers from opening their doors on Boxing Day, putting a damper on the post-holi­ day consumer frenzy,

Winner: Black Friday Both holidays offer deals and discounts on electron­ ics, clothing and other consumer goods. Both manage to whip consumers into a (sometimes violent) frenzy. How­ ever, Black Friday at least has the noble aim of offering con­ sumers cheap stuff to kick off the holiday season— mean­ ing that purchases are often destined to end up under the Christmas tree, or next to the menorah, with Junior's name on them. Boxing Day is just more self-indulgence the dayafter the biggest exercise in gluttonous excess of the entire year— Christmas. Further, American Black Friday is a national pastime, while silly Canadian regulators have kept Boxing Day cheer from spreading nation-wide. In short, Canadian consumers should go South.

Projected level of violence: High. Black Friday is legendary pushing, shoving and general disorder that characterizes s they open their doors to a flood of eager consumers. Betwec pedes, fist fights and general anarchy, Black Friday is a notorio lent day of disarray and confusion. Several blogs have even rt ring features with colorful titles such as, "Black Friday Injury Uj Size of consumer markdowns: Extreme. From $299 USD Sc laptops, to deeply discounted Plasma televisions and must -h and video games, Black Friday is the kickoff for the holiday sf season.

Official Status: Black Friday is not an official holiday, howev it happens over the Thanksgiving weekend (which is a fede day), it has quasFofftcial status. However, unlike in several G provinces on Boxing Day, Black Friday has little, if any, regulate sight— meaning that consumers and retailers are free to go v

GUIDE

Holiday bartending

Drinks to give you that holiday buzz F emi K a ssim If there's anything more prone than' your budget to stretching during the holiday sea­ son, it's your waistline. But don’t forget to leave some room after all those cookies, turkey and latkes for indulgences of a more fluid nature.

Here are some flavourful beverages to tempt your family and friends'senses.

Eggnog Don't settle for the store bought variety no matter how cheap it is. Especially since the ingredient this beverage gets its name from is -something yew probably have around anyway.

To make eight servings, beat four egg yolks with one fourth of a cup of white sugar. Mean wh i'e, ha ve a friend beat the wh ites with a noth-

er fourth of a cup of suq : peaks, fold the egg mixtures together and ■ stir in thre cups of milk or cream. Alternatively reduce the créa: cream and ado about a cup each o f your favourite and whiskey. Chill for at least four hours.

Rack that noggin of yours; The proportions of aimost everything in eggnog can be altered to fit your every whim. Use heavier cream to make it richer, top with cinnamon or nutmeg for more flavour, etc. If you're looking for a unique drirtk to serve at your next Christmas parry, try ah eggnog martini. Pour equal parts of your delicious homemade eggnog, arrière:to and vodka into a shaker over ice, shal e and st-'ain imoa martini glass. Sprinkle with nutfneo or cinnamon to taste.

Spiced ("m ulled' I apple cider e any time of year, "mulled" simply rheans heat arid spice. Tra' Of ramon sticks, cloves, arid sliced;orange ■lemon neei to taste, foast • spi . fn - minutes at the bottom of to really let their flavour out. For four servings; pour six cups of apple cider’'with, one fourth of ù tup o f maple syrup or brown sugar oyer the spfoe-s, bring to a boil then sim­ mer for at least fifteen rr jtes. Remove from heat and ladle the cider o mugs-and serve immediately.

For the grownups: T >ome spited apple cfoef by stirring in some a; e flavoured brandy to taste. Alterr shvety ?-, Jed Wire, popular in northern Europe,, by u n red v. foe as the base instead of tbe cider.

Mudslide Mudslides are the ultimate comfi tail that are a great alternative to ti varieties you usually indulge in aroun mas. It's a simple concoction calling 1 pads of a coffee liqueur such as Kabfca Casey's or any other namesakes iris! vodka and a cream base. Pour your m ïk h ■ into a mixing glass over ice, shake then 'ë n into a cooled glass'.

For those of you who still crave r ■ when it’s -10 C. out: try the frozen modsf blend the alcohol mixture with >'4 dtps niiia cê cream per 1 v i oz of alcohol and in a tall frosted glass. Don't forget to tof chocolate syrup to get the "mud- Je - "•

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

A d iffe re n t take on holiday cookies Biscotti for your inner red-suited breaking-and-entering-er L in d sa y F ran k Let's face it—when it comes to he liday food, baked goods fake cer stage. Traditional gingerbread cut-outs and decorated sugar cookies l ally reign supreme, however with their estive hues of red, green and wf these biscotti will be a welcome addirio i to any cookie tray. Leave some for Santa with a pot of coffee for dunkln □; when you have to stav awake < travel the world all night, mik just isn't at

Steps:

Ingredients: 1 tsp baking powder 3'4 cup deed cranberrh 3'4 cup white chocolatVA cun shelled nistarhi

1

neets. Dough -

Campus CHATTERBOX: DR. PHIL GOLD

Gold promotes genes and luck, not smarts, to students

DO YOU HATE THE HOLIDAYS? DO YOU LOVE THEM? ■

McGill Dr. divulges the secrets to success Aside from being the former Chief of Medicine at the Montreal General Hospital and current Executive Director of the Clinical Research Centre of the McGill University Health Centre, McGill's Dr. Phil Gold is also a grandfather, world-traveller and, believe it or not, clown collector.

At McGill, I teach... in the departm ent of Physiology, the departm ent of Medicine, primarily in the second year now with the introduction to Clinical Medicine, and in Oncology. Over the years, I've taught in virtually every aspect of medicine on the wards and in the classroom. Effectively, it keeps me out of mischief.

If I wasn't a professor, I would be... a salesman, because I enjoy selling. In fact, I put myself through school by selling encyclopaedias, which I loved. The interesting part about anything is that, no matter w hat you do, you're always selling. I don't know w hat I would sell, but I would sell something.

I enjoy my field of study because... it's overarching.

Immunology covers every system and every discipline that's ever studied. It plays a role in Neurology, Gastroenterology, Endocrinology, Surgery, Surgical infection, OB-GYN, you name it. Everything has an immunologic component.

The best part about my job is... talking to students and residents and young staff and trying to help them in what they w ant to do, because sometimes, if you know the terrain, you can do in 15 minutes what sometimes takes weeks or even months for someone who's not sure how to go about it. So that's my entertainment for the day.

EITHER WAY, YOU SHOULD WRITE FOR FEATURES. JOIN US IN THE NEW YEAR!

MEETINGS BEGIN MONDAY JANUARY 7TH AT 5:30 PM IN GERTS

night.Then tea. Earl Grey.

If I could meet anyone... there are a number of people I would really love to meet. I would love to know whether Mozart was really nuts, because I thoroughly enjoy listening to his music and there has to be more than we know about him. Newton was a remarkable man and the idea of actually creating mathematics to explain your data is wonderful.

Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci have always fascinated me.

■

OR EMAIL FEATURES@MCGILLTRIBUNE.COM

My favourite organ is... the brain. The brain is an extraordinary phenomenon that we understand so little about. If we learn to understand the brain, everything else will be explicable. I suspect that it's the most com plex of all the organs. It is a giant computer, yet it doesn't allow us something that I wish I had, that I do have on my computer: the search mechanism.

Call for Submissions! TVMcGill Presents: Fokus Film Festival TVmcGill's annual film festival is now accepting subr nissions t J r , , : films in the following categories: ' Fiction/Non-Fiction/ShoryExperimental/Ainmatitf*"™* *

My favourite place to travel is... Italy. It's a wonderful place to spend tim e.The people are great.They love life.They would much prefer to go to the opera than go to war, which for me is a plus.

if you've made a film and are a McGill student, or fvantto % rJ p working on one, submissions are rolling uqü I tfi^beginning of ; H lllt Inarch.

My students would be surprised to learn... there's every fact about me they'd be surprised to learn.

Anybody who tells you that they've succeeded because they were smart is either foolish or is making a fool of you. There are three things that determine your life: your genes, your environment and luck. And if you have a choice, take luck. Most everything that I've done was luck. Anyone w ho feels that they've succeeded with great ingenuity and intelligence?

Nonsense. ■

^ V jfig p

fh e actual festival will be held at a TBA location at the end of March, 2008. The maximum length for submissions is 20 mins, and you can also participate in our 72-hour film festival. For more information email fokus@tvmcgill.com or vpexternal@ tvmcgill.com and toôk for more info coming to www.tvmcgill. : com and Facebook!

(

UULCGILL■

— C o m p ile d b y J a n e t M cM u lle n .

My favourite drink is... coffee, until around nine at

Needa PIck Me Up? ? McGill

Alumni A ssociation

December Exam Coffee Breaks!

P re s e n ts

Come enjoy complimentary snacks and refreshm ents at the following locations: D e c e m b e r 3 rd: M a c d o n a ld C a m p u s - M a c d o n a ld -S te w a rt lo b b y: 1 1a m - 2p m

D e c e m b e r 10th:

M c L e n n a n L ib r a r y L o b b y : 1 0 :3 0 a m — 1 2 :3 0 p m

D e c e m b e r 4 th: C h a n c e llo r D a y H a ll A triu m : 1 0 :3 0 a m — 1 2 :3 0 p m

D e c e m b e r 1 1t+l:

M c C o n n e ll E n g . L o b b y : 1 1 :0 0 — 1 :0 0p m

M c L e n n a n L ib r a r y L o b b y : 3 :3 0 p m — 5 :3 0 p m D e c e m b e r 5th: M c L e n n a n L ib r a r y L o b b y : 1 0 :3 0 a m — 1 2 :3 0 p m E d u c a t io n B u ild in g L o b b y : 1 2 :3 0 p m — 2 :3 0 pm

D e c e m b e r 12th

M c L e n n a n L ib r a r y L o b b y : 1 0 :3 0 a m — 1 2 :3 0 p m

D e c e m b e r 13th:

S t r a t h c o n a M u s ic L o b b y : 1 0 :3 0 a m — 1 2 :3 0 p m

D e c e m b e r 14th:

M c L e n n a n L ib r a r y L o b b y : 1 0 :0 0 a m — 1 :0 0p m

D e c e m b e r 6^: B r o n f m a n L o b b y : 1 0 :3 0 a m — 1 2 :3 0 p m D e c e m b e r 7 th: M c L e n n a n L ib r a r y L o b b y : 1 0 :3 0 a m — 1 2 :3 0 p m

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Friday

Thursday

Wednesday

Tuesday

Monday

Sunday

Saturday

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"The McGill Science Undergraduate Journal is currently seeking scientific research papers written by undergraduates. The dead­ line for submissions is Jan 2, 2008.Go to www.msurj.mcgill.ca for article guidelines and more information.”

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Want to advertise in the Cam pus Calendar? For just a toonie you can advertise your event up to two weeks in advance.

Email calendar@mcgilltribune.com for more information, or drop by the T rib u n e office in Shatner 110 .

______6

A rts & E ntertainment FILM

Hey nerds! B la d e

Runner

is back in theatres!

Ridley Scott's definitive cyborg manifesto gets redux treatment J ohn S em ley Reedited to suit the director's "intended vision" and remastered in a lush 35mm print, the newly released Blade Runner: The Final Cut further consolidates the ever-increas­ ing legacy of this film. From the Times New Roman-over-black background credits-roll to the cold opening of a perpetually dreary 2019 Los Angeles and the long tracking shot into the dismal offices of the Tyrell Corporation's ultramodern ziggurat, Blade Runner still feels every-bit like the cult classic it has always been, with its sci-fi noir aesthetic still registering as exceptionally innovative.

Based loosely on prodigious sci-fi scribe Philip K. Dick's Do Androids Dream o f Electric Sheep?, Scott's film gives a picture of a notso-futuristic future of urban congestion and decay, hundred-floor storage locker apartment complexes and colossal neon Coca-Cola ad­ vertisements. Here, more-human-than-human robots called "replicants”— biological construc­

tions right down to the molecular level— have been manufactured by genetic engineering mastermind Dr. Eldon Tyrell (JoeTurkel), whose monolithic corporation is built as much on the head of human ingenuity as it is backs of the sentient slaves it churns out en mass.

Designed to perform all manner of human labour, from grunt work to warfare to sexual pleasuring, the super-agile, super-strong rep­ licants (in line with stand sci-fi boilerplate re: robots) eventually rebel against their flesh 'n' blood overlords and are consequentially made illegal. Those who attempt to pass themselves off as human are hunted down and killed (or "retired") by lawful bounty hunters called Blade Runners. The film follows one such detective/ hatchet man, Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) as he hunts down and retires four particularly pissed-off replicants who have escaped from an off-world colony.

But everyone knows this. By now the lore of B la d e R unn er has achieved the kind of cin­ ematic weightiness and notoriety which the

B0INGB0ING.NET

Deft punk: Deckard (Ford) transverses the hip futuristic topography of L.A. 2019.

AFI cooks up lists to needlessly authenticate. . Besides the fact that every Terminator, Minor­ ity Report, Matrix and /, Robot owes its robotsgone-wild plotline to Blade Runner (and per­ haps equally to Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odys­ sey), the vital questions of the fundamental bond between humans and technology, the limits of scientific initiative and the ol'standby of what could it really means to be human which science fiction films ask us again and again still seem to be posed most earnestly in Blade Runner. I mean, apart from possessing as much cultural cache as Travis Bickle's "You talkin'to me?" or Brody's "You're gonna need a bigger boat," has the character of human exis­ tence ever been articulated as perfectly as in the replicant Leon's proclamation of"Wake up!

Time to die!"?

Unlike the bulk of big-budget multiplex fare, this film has influenced, however, the near-future offered by Blade Runner seems uncannily plausible. Where Terminator or The Matrix or other such films in these ranks may posit some post-apocalypse that accounts for their dystopic visions, the world of Blade Runner seems more like a logical extension of our own. As krautrockers, Chinese short-order cooks, Egyptian snake-handlers and Hare Krishna carve out equal spaces in the bustling megapolis of L.A. 2019, we see the trajectory of our own ever-intersecting cultural crosscur­ rents reflected.

And as much as a 25th anniversary release or redux or whatever may seem like little more than some shameless cash-grab, seeing Blade Runner in theatres (a first for many fans) seems like more of an occasion; and one which seems more significant and altogether agreeable than other event-films like this summer's Simp­ sons movie. The Final Cut also renders the film more visually rich than before, with the colours of everything from the strange interior of J.F. Sebastian's perverse toyshop apartment to the drizzly streets of L.A. seeming richer and more vivid. Everything in the film looks sharper, from the running lights of flying cop cars to the in­ candescent glow of LED umbrella handles. The

ROTTENTOM ATOES.COM The Final Cut's noir-influenced poster art. narrative was tightened up as well, rendering the replicants noticeably more sympathetic, while also demystifying various plot ambigui­ ties in the theatrical and earlier, erroneouslytitled "Director's Cut." There is a scene near the middle of the film where mutinous replicant Roy Batty visits his "father," the abovementioned Eldon Tyrell, to request that his imposed four-year lifespan be extended. "The light that burns twice as bright," explains Tyrell "burns for half as long." Now a quarter-of-a-century old, the neon torchlight ig­ nited by Ridley Scott's cyberpunk classic shows no signs of extinguishing anytime soon. ■ Blade Runner: The Final Cut is playing at Cinema du Parc (3575 Parc). Check www.cinemaduparc.com forshowtimes and tickets. A DVD release is also set to drop in time for the holidays.

POP RHETORIC

Cute w ith Chris vs 2 girls, 1 cup K

itIT I :*;rf *j**!

I

I 2§ p I TÛÿ.

I !

I I ■ I I I I

don't like YouTube. I hate the fact that people can post ri­ diculous videos of themselves doing gross, unnecessary things that should never be seen by the general public.

How desperate for attention does someone to need to be to produce the likes of the new Internet video phenomenon "2 Girls, 1 Cup"? If you don't know what I am referring to, come out of your finals-induced hibernation and log onto any gossip Web site or less-than-respectable online media outlet because it's the new favourite topic of conversation among bloggers everywhere. Due to my lack of reverence for YouTube, I had held strong to my convictions and refused to watch any online video produced by an individual to feed their own ego ... until two weeks ago.

I was with a friend, an avid online blog watcher, who insisted that I watch "Cute with Chris." This online weeklyupdated video blog centres on a man, presumably named Chris, who produces four to five minute segments aired from his house where he laughs at, judges and generally berates images of pets that his viewers have sent in: complete with Perez Hilton-esque doodles and a talking plastic horse (O.C. rip-off anyone?). I was unimpressed.

Perhaps it was the late hour or the fact that we watched the entire video catalogue in an attempt to delay our term papers, but it actually started to get better as we continued

I

to watch. Chris had found his niche, introducing more intel­ ligently veiled insults, wittier dialogue with "Pervy"the per­ verted plastic horse and finding more entertaining pictures of the viewers' pets. This blog proves unequivocally that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder (or blogger).

So does this make me just another YouTube junkie? I hope not. I take relief in the fact that it still pisses me off when I log onto Perez Hilton and he has posted a video of himself rapping to Snoop Dogg or dressed in some outra­ geous wig singing to a Menudo remake. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of a celebrity blog in the first place? I visit his Web site to find out if Britney has (finally) lost her visitation rights or who is the latest young-Hollywood star to get ar­ rested on drug and alcohol charges, not to watch celebrityby-association Perez vying for attention.

But there is something to be said for being discovered on YouTube or M ySpace. And truthfully, there is some legiti­ mate talent floating around on these viewer-uploaded net­ works; unfortunately they are greatly overshadowed by the more disgusting, shock-inducing productions out there. On a seasonal note, from the Internet phenomenon last Decem­ ber, just in time for Christmas, Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg's Emmy-award winning "Dick in a Box"spurred the creation of thousands of YouTube video parodies. An article

athryn

A

m ey

in The Gazette profiled a university student and his new take on the now classic song. His video, aptly named "Dick and a Box,"capitalized on allowing women the opportunity to also get in on the action. Viewed over 70 000 times,The Gazette poised him as the next great Canadian comedian. Person­ ally, I don't think Jim Carrey or Rick Mercer (or even Bullard) have reason to lose sleep just yet.

Music labels have been known to scour the free on­ line market of M yS p a ce to find potential new bands. And when 18-year-old Esmee Denters from rural Denmark re­ ceived over eight million views for her karaoke renditions on YouTube, music producers took notice. Producers who had worked with the likes of Jessica Simpson and Pink quickly schlepped her into the studio and urged her to sign on the dotted line.

From rags to riches, these true-life Cinderella stories fuel the continual production of greatly sub-par material, in the hopes of being discovered. For most of the creators, it will never happen, and as much as I look forward to Chris's weekly installment, I doubt highly that we will ever see him strutting the red carpet outside the Kodak Theatre. I sup­ pose everyone is entitled to his or her 15 minutes. I just hope that in the case of the video "2 Girls, 1 Cup"the math makes it more like seven and a half. ■

04.12.07 «The McGill Tribune • 17

BOOKS

BOOKS

Shit changes

Cheever for Canucks

And so does the way w e clean it up C arolyn Y ates

Most people— hopefully— shower every day. And if yo u do, then you just laughed at the "hopefully;" because it's gross to not wash your hands before you eat, shower twice a week, for­ get the deodorant and smell. The D irt on Clean: A n U nsanitized History, by Canadian author Katherine Ashenburg, takes a look at society through a sometimes greasy lens to discover both the history of cleanliness and culture and why we think about it the way we do.

While today's modern obsession with bacteria, dirt, odor-elimination and plumb­ ing seems ingrained, until as late as the 1930s, many old houses lacked so much as an indoor toilet. Starting with misconceptions about an­ cient uncleanliness (read: how ripe everyone was) before working her way forward, Ashen­ burg discusses the influence that Greek and Roman baths had on both sex and hygiene, how changing clothes used to be better than taking a bath and how the spread of disease influenced bathing. "Once heat and water cre­ ated openings through the skin, the plague could easily invade the entire body,"writes Ash­ enburg, which was why it was important to be as filthy as possible. Royalty, whose health was extremely important, sometimes bathed only once or twice in a lifetime. In the second half of the book, she discusses more modern ideas of cleanliness, including the current obsession with anti-bacterial everything.

Content-wise, the time she spends focus­ sing on the historic time-periods of cleanliness seems off-balance. A large part of the book is focussed on the public bathhouses of Greece and Rome and their influence in other parts of Europe, almost to the point of redundancy.

The later parts of the book discussing American cleanliness in the early parts of the 19th cen­ tury, by contrast, seems glossed over, while the direct paths of the modern need to be bacterially clean at all times makes up a relatively slim portion of the book. While it is understandable that, as a history, less attention is paid to the modern era, it would have been appropriate to theorize about it for a few more pages and to focus on the scandal of bathing-in-public a bit less.

One of Ashenburg's greatest strengths lies in her smooth-flowing prose. Both clever wordchoice and usually funny anecdotes keeps her away from the textbook feel that pervades many non-fiction works. However, the clip-art-y images in the margins make it seem as if she's dumbing down the content for small-minded audiences. While sometimes helpful, such as more closely drawn pictures of slipper-baths and notable bath-related art, for the most part it seems as if the book is trying to unnecessar­ ily force reader interest. Her use of random, if relevant, quotations in the margins has a similar effect, creating the text-book style she other­ wise manages to break away from and drawing attention away from her otherwise captivating writing style.

Interesting, and not something to wipe your ass with,The D irt on Clean is at least a book to take to the washroom with you. ■

Revisiting The Torontonians C arolyn G régoire

Riding a rising tide of postwar prosper­ ity, Karen Whitney, a housewife of the classic 1950s model, finds herself increasingly disil­ lusioned with the materialistic world of Rowanwood, a middle-class suburb of Toronto.

While the other women of Rowanwood seem content with their lives as homemak­ ers, baking cakes and scrubbing floors, Karen finds herself playing with “a deadly toy," con­ templating suicide to escape her empty life.

Phyllis Brett Young's The Torontonians is an existential account of suburban languor; a psychological look into the mind of a dis­ enchanted woman who questions the con­ sumerism and domesticity that define her generation. Re-published in October by the McGill-Queen's University Press for the first time since its initial publication in 1960, the archetypal feminist novel features a new in­ troduction by Nathalie Cooke and Suzanne Morton. An international bestseller in its time, Young's story of self-discovery took a

AMAZON.CA

AMAZON.CA Makes for perfect bathroom reading.

50s-kitsch screams suburban ennui.

psychological look at the ennui of an edu­ cated woman confined to the domestic life of a suburban homemaker.

The long-awaited arrival of expensive new green carpeting marks the completion of Karen's perfect Rowanwood home. But rather than a feeling of domestic bliss, the anti-cli­ max of this event leaves Karen apathetic and empty. The rest of the novel is woven be­ tween past and present as Karen attempts to figure out how she became trapped in such a meaningless life.Told through flashbacks to her childhood in Toronto, her first love, the year she spent studying in Geneva and the early days of her marriage, Karen pieces to­ gether her past in an attempt to find some direction in her life.

Young also chronicles the changes tak­ ing place in Toronto during the mid-twenti­ eth century. Rather than following the tradi­ tional urban model and growing westward, Toronto was a city that instead grew up the Hill, "a blow to a great many people who had overlooked the fact that social climb­ ing is not necessarily limited to metaphori­ cal heights." Born and raised in Toronto, Karen has observed the city transform before her eyes as she socially climbs up the Hill that divides Toronto. But once Karen has reached the heights of Rowanwood, with the perfect home and family that she has spent her life striving for, she finally sees that the view is sometimes better from below. Young chroni­ cles with powerful psychological insight and heartfelt emotion the ennui of a woman, like so many others of her time, trapped by the demands of a materialist culture and suburban life.

Karen embarks upon a path of self-dis­ covery that leads her to the eventual epiph­ any, somewhere between her perfect neigh­ borhood barbeque and sleepless nights smoking beside the open window. “That's what really matters,"she says. "To know where you are going, and why.. Even if you never get there." ■ Originally published in 1960, The Toronto­ nians has recently entered reprint under McGillQueen's University Press.

FILM

H itm a n

pretty hit and miss

Shockingly, video game to big screen adaptation proves mediocre C harlie C heng

§

After being in development hell for quite some time, H itm an has finally hit theatres. Unfor­ tunately, the film follows the tradition of lacklustre video game to movie conversions. H itm an is likely to even disappoint fans of the series and is driven by ridiculous plot lines, abysmal scripting and countless suspensions of disbelief. (You'd think it would be pretty easy to spot a bald man with a barcode on the back of his head).

Besides its complete predictabili­ ty, the main problem with H itm an is its casting. It's questionable why direc­ tor Xavier Gens chose Timothy Oly­ phant to star as the lead. Olyphant seems too reserved, young and insecure to play a cold-blooded killer, as evidenced by his por­ trayal of the terrorist mastermind in Live Free o r Die Hard. V\n Diesel was originally supposed to play the main role which by far seems like a more appropriate choice. Fortunately for him, he dropped out of the project only last year.

It seems that only fans with a background knowl­ edge of the video game canon will be able to catch on to the poor excuse of a story that H itm an presents.

That being said, Hitman's story line is utterly confus­ ing and overly ambitious. The film is about an assas­ sin named Agent 47 raised from birth by "The Agency," an organization that trains orphaned children to be­ come bald and soulless killing machines. After failing to accomplish an assigned assassination (despite the target's head exploding), Agent 47 finds himself in a cliched conspiracy involving the Russian government and is eventually hunted by assassins from his own organization. Along the way, Agent 47 forms a bond with a Russian prostitute played by Olga Kurylenko. It seems like there was no purpose in casting a love in­ terest for Agent 47 other than to throw in a cheesy sex scene. Due to 47's lack of sexual tension, the result is surprisingly amusing.

There is little to no feeling of a progression of threat throughout the film. Most of the time, Agent 47 only seems to be fighting against foot soldiers who have a habit of running straight into his bullets. Some of the fighting scenes are so ridicujous that you can only see it for yourself to believe it. A prime example is a scene when Agent 47 is surrounded by three other assassins during a Mexican stand off in the subway.

They then randomly agree to drop their guns and fight with katanas that magically appear from their jackets.

Did not see that one coming.

The video game series was never known to have the greatest plot lines, but the film fails to even match up to its inspiration. H itm an feels way too out of char­ acter for the series, contains lots of nonsensical action scenes with no sense of progression towards a climax, and has a weak and thin underlying story when you peel away all the nonsense. At least you'll get to see the cool new Ra m b o trailer during the previews.»

H itm an h it theatres a few weeks ago. Check www.

cinemamontreal.com fo r show tim es.

FLICKSCRIBE.COM Hey man, which way to the Slipknot concert?

ra d u a tio n P h o to s

A TTEN TIO N GRADS 2008 Better get your photo taken to be included in Old McGill 2008.

T h is is the only campus-wideyearbook T ake the good tim es along!

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gets you a campus yearbook

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04.12.07 *The McGill Tribune • 19

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DVD

Reviews Kylie Minogue. X. Twenty whole years since "Locomotion," Kylie Minogue's infectious first single, the singer's 10th album has been produced and released with the commem­ orative title X. With a huge repertoire of hit singles tucked safely under her tiny gold hotpants, the actress-turned-singer has long established herself as one of Australia's finest musical exports, second only to Rolf Harris. In light of having accumulated such a plethora of international fans, this new album would have to sound worse than a million babies crying not to be another huge success. The first track and single from the CD, "2 Hearts", has already topped the charts in Kylie's home country and merges both rock and electro with the singer's trademark sexy pop. It is not the strongest song on the album, however, and is far outdone by catchier tunes such as the dance track"Speakerphone"and "Wow." It is easy to conceive of a robot-dancing video to accompany "Speak­ erphone,"which has an incessant beat and chanting feel similar to "Can't get you Out of My Head"from the 2001 album Fever. "Wow"on the other hand explores the more light hearted side of the popstress and utilizes the submerged under­ water sound effect used in Fever's"Love at First Sight"to create what is bound to be another disco classic.

— Clare Pidsley Sebastian Bach. Angel Down. After wasting countless years on reality TV projects, ex­ front man of Skid Row Sebestian Bach has finally gotten his act together and released his first solo album of new material in nearly nine years. Apology accepted, Angel Down is here to remind us how powerful Skid Row was at their prime. Bach sounds as good as he ever did, flawlessly delivering his trademark high-pitched vocals throughout the album. Much attention as been given to the album due to its vocal contributions by no other than Axl Rose himself. Unfortunately, this will disappoint Guns N' Roses fans who are buying the album solely to hear Rose in the studio for the first time since 1993. Although Axl sings on three tracks, only the cover of the Aerosmith classic "Back in the Saddle" can be considered a real contribution. The good news is that this is one of the strongest tracks on the album, offering a much more metallic take on the song.

The duet between Bach and Rose easily rivals the legendary performance that Steven Tyler did 30 years ago. The only downside is that the song has lost the original groove made by Joe Perry's six string bass guitar, but seeing how it's a Sebastian Bach cover, this isn't really unexpected. Other stand out tracks include "Negative Light"and"Live and Die," both reminiscent of material from Skid Row's debut album, and the semi-acoustic "By Your Side," which showcases the versa­ tility of Bach's voice. Angel Down is much better than any of the material Skid Row has released since Bach's departure and is right up there with Skid Row and Slave to the Grind. Axl Rose's'contributions,'although a nice touch, should only be considered a small bonus. Now where the hell is Chinese Democracy!

— Charlie Cheng David Lynch. Ghost o f Love single. Is this the best American record since the Everly Broth­ ers laid down "All I Have to Do Is Dream"? Like the slightly twisted versions of Americana David Lynch has been committing to celluloid since Blue Velvet, his new single smacks uncannily of jukebox balladry and malt shop memories. Playing guitar and intoning hauntingly effeminate vocals, Lynch eases through "Ghost of Love" (appearing in an al­ tered form as part of the soundtrack to his latest film INLAND EMPIRE), which sounds like a sort of post-Fordist doo-wop. A steady bass and drum rhythm provide the back­ drop, as guitars twang, whistles mawkishly sound the end to the eternal workday and Lynch moans "straaaaaaaaaaange what love does."The "B-side" is the equally enjoyable "Imaginary Girl," which sees Lynch putting a bit more swing .in his revisionist sos-pop 5 i « * i step. A faithful if languid imagining of mid-century chord progressions, "Imaginary Girl" has Lynch mourning the loss of a spectral sweetheart, as if it were the proper sequel to MarkDinning's car crash elegy "Teen Angel." Although albums like Tom Waits's SwordFshtrombones or Mr. Bungle's Disco Volante have managed to ap­ proximate the bizarre topographies of Lynch's films, this excellent single reveals the fairly profound musical proficiency of this American Renaissance Man.This is the album you'd listen to at parties if you and your friends were all as weird and interesting as you'd like to think you are.

—John Semley Tele. Tele. Hailing from Winnipeg, Tele has quickly been gaining a reputation outside of their hometown. At its core, Tele's self-titled debut album delivers solid hard rock guitar riffs fused with complex keyboard arrangements and a dash of modern electronic influ­ ences. imagine the ambition ofThe Who's Tommy or Guns N' Roses' Use Your Illusion and combine it with the electronic and art rock sounds of Radiohead and Muse. Arguably the most notable aspect of Tele is how powerful and unique singer/guitarist Matt Worobec's vocals are. Sounding like a cross between Soundgarden/Audioslave's Chris Cornell K and Stone Temple Pilots/Velvet Revolver's Scott Weiland, Worobec aggressively delivers J his versatile vocal range throughout the entire album. The astounding performance X begs the question, however, of whether Worobec will be able to perform as well live as he does in the recording studio.The album is also quite short, clocking in at around 47 minutes and contains 13 tracks, allowing most of the songs to be short and sweet. The unique blend of styles is sure to satisfy any listener willing to open their mind.

— Charlie Cheng

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DVD. Babyshambles. Live in Manchester. With every journey, there is a crucial moment. In this moment, a decision must be made, which will affect the rest of your life. Everybody experiences being Robert Frost at the fork in the road. What is so incredibly depress­ ing about Up the Shambles, the Babyshambles DVD, is that it provides an intimate por­ trait of Pete Doherty, circa 2004, playing the precarious balancing act between rockstar super-status and descending into the dark abyss of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Up the Shambles was Doherty at his peak, rising from the ashes of the uber-talented Libertines with the original Babyshambles crew prior to the drug-related departures. Now vacillat­ ing between rehab and jail, Doherty would be lucky to have the brain cells remaining to write lyrics such as these. The live show in Manchester is punctuated with intimate conversations and backstage anecdotes of Babyshambles, all of which are more com­ pelling than Doherty in various stages of undress mumbling to the music. The DVD reflects the charismatic and eccentric Pete of 2004, tormented but talented, who we can understand Kate Moss for falling in love (and a coke habit) with. At the same time, it predicts the 2007 junkie Pete, who we applaud Kate for finally dumping. The DVD is a tribute to the enigmatic character of Doherty, focussing more on his startling acoustic renditions and eccentricities than on what Babyshambles could have been. The appeal of Babyshambles forces questioning— it must be symptomatic of some societal flaw that we are intrigued by the tor­ tured life of a drug-addict-could/should/would-have-been. Like Frost, Doherty took the road less travelled by, and that has made all the difference. This DVD reflects how Doherty could have taken the greatness of the Libertines to a whole new level with Babyshambles. Instead, they (Doherty and Babyshambles) are simply a product of their habits. They are drugs— destructive, yet addictive.

—Tash Kassam

Tokin' laughs Stoner comedy hits DVD Z achary K ornblum

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Greg Araki's Smiley Face A n n a F a rts J o h n K r a iin ik i follows the misadventures of a young actress, Jane (Anna Faris), after she unwittingly eats her roommate's pot cupcakes.

Watching Jane as she feebly tries to complete everyday tasks, ! ^ * we are reminded that the world can be a very frightening place when you are high. With the help of her roommate's nerdy friend, Brevin Ericson, Jane tries to make replacement cupcakes, ace an acting audition and get 5 her hands on enough money to pay her drug dealer.

High.

While Araki's prior films How are you? delve into the dark underbelly of “ Mtod-beg*Uogly fu n n y!"

American society and deal with issues such as pedophilia and prostitution, Smiley Face thank­ AMAZON.CA fully does not. It is a lighthearted Roll a few jizzoints on this guy, eh? comedy in what has become a pretty standard tradition of stoner flicks (i.e. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Half Baked). While Smiley Face is an above-average example of the genre, it makes little attempt to innovate; the plot is fairly predictable and the dialogue is witty but not extraordinary. In all honesty, most of the bits have been done before and many have even been done better. It does introduce two unique elements, however: a female lead character and an original copy of The Communist Manifesto. The latter is little more than a gimmick, but Anna Faris's female lead makes the movie worth watching.

Faris' portrayal of an economics major turned underachiever/actor is delightful. While stoned, Jane is in a state of innocence and Faris is able to perfectly capture. She portrays Jane in every state from passively high to marijuana induced paranoia.Through it all, she is funny, talented and cute to top it all off. Her face does things I don't think I have ever seen so genu­ inely portrayed. She proves herself to be one of the best comedic actors out there.

Beside Faris is a cast filled with familiar faces. At her side is John Krasinski of NBC's The Office fame, playing Brevin, a man who is blindly in love with an unresponsive Jane. Despite Krasinski's impressive acting abilities, his dull character seems predestined to fall flat against Faris'vibrant Jane.

Other actors include Adam Brody playing Jane's dealer, and Danny Masterson playing Jane's roommate. The “hey, that's Seth Cohen/Hyde" effect is somewhat jarring and doesn't really add much, however, and unknown actors might have felt more organic in these smaller roles.

Overall, the movie is entertaining to watch. At 88 minutes, it doesn't run on too long and while one shouldn't expect anything groundbreaking, Faris'performance is something worth watching. If you want a movie that will make you laugh, Smiley Face is a good choice. ■

sm ifey face

Smiley Face will be released on DVD on Jan. 8,2008.

Previews Theatre. A Queer Carol. Dec. 5-16; Mainline Theatre (3997 St-Laurent).The Montreal LGBTTheatre Festival presents Joe Godfrey's critically acclaimed revision of the Dickens classic as the feature production of its fourth edi­ tion. For more information visit www.villagescene.com.

Music. The Thirteenth Assembly. Dec. 6 at 9:00 p.m.; Casa del Popolo (4873 St. Laurent). A touring collective made up of four musicians playing in vari­ ous collaborative configurations, New York'sTheThirteenth Assembly play original compositions and experimental improvisations. Tickets are $7 at the door.

Music. The Engines. Dec. 7 at 9:00 p.m.; Casa del Popolo (4873 St. Laurent).

This brass-heavy Chicago improvisational quartet hits Montreal as part of their East Coast tour in support of their self-titled debut album. Tickets are $12 at the door.

Music. Matt Haimovitz and Sara Laimon. Dec. 9 at 8:00 p.m.; Pollack Hall (555 Sherbrooke W.) McGill music professor and cellist extraordinaire Matt Haimovitz teams up with Sara Laimon to perform as part of the second Festival Bach de Montreal. Tickets are $12 for students.

Film. CFC Worldwide Short Film Festival. Dec. 10 at 7 p.m.; Cinema du Parc (3575 Parc). Now in its 14th year, the CFC Worldwide Short Film Festival screens hundreds of Canadian and international short films and awards $125,000 in prizes. Selections from this year's festival will be shown in this 90 minute screening. Admission is free.

Music. Dr. Draw. Dec. 13 at 8:00 p.m.; L'Olympia de Montreal (1004 Ste-Catherine E). Montreal’s very own classical-fusion electric violinist hits stages this month across the country with a complete band and string section.

For tickets call (514) 908-9090.

S ports BASKETBALL— LAVAL 68, MCGILL 56

Redmen collapse in a tale of two halves

McGill falters in fourth quarter in rematch of season opener

"Our intensity goes up and down," said Chouinard.

"Even if we're playing really well, sometimes we let up on Having already beaten Laval in overtime in this year's sea­ offence and defence. We have to work on being more con­ son opener several weeks ago, the Redmen found themselves in stant, and finish strong." the midst of another close contest with the Rouge et Or at Love The nature of the Redmen's attack was visibly differ­ Competition Hall on Friday night. Yet after an abysmal fourth ent in the decisive fourth quarter. They settled for more quarter for the Red 'n'White, Laval was able to avenge the early outside, low-percentage shots and their solid on-court season loss with a decisive 68-56 victory. communication faltered. The collective frustration mani­ Forwards Sean Anthony and Yannick Chouinard each scored fested itself in the actions of guards Moustafa El Zanaty 14 points for McGill, who saw their Quebec conference record fall and Samuel Goulet who both fouled out, effectively ex­ to 2-2. The Redmen held Laval to a poor shooting effort from tinguishing any hopes of a McGill comeback. The Redmen both inside and outside the arc, but McGill's defensive efforts have recently been heavily dependent on El Zanaty, who were undone by their offensive shortcomings. had averaged 21 points in the first three conference games, "We defended well, but we didn't shoot the ball well at all," but the fourth-year guard scored only four points in the said McGill Assistant Coach Bill MacArthur. "We have to put the loss. ball in the basket. We're a young team "Our offence just wasn't and we're learning to defend hard, but clicking," guard Victor Mansure it's not easy to score when you work said. "We could have gotten really hard at the defensive end of the better looks, and we just didn't court." get the ball to the right guys.

We didn't penetrate to draw Come on boys, it's almost Christmas, can't you just share?

Can't sustain the pressure the defence and then kick it bounds, but the boards were not converted into points from the The two teams seemed evenly out, like we did in the third quarter." paint. matched in the first half, as the Rouge "We have to play together," Chouinard said. "If the whole et Or led 31-27 at halftime. The Redmen Stout defence, disappointing team plays together, then we can beat any team in our path. But came out of the locker room on fire, offence right now, we're not playing together." however, shooting 7 of 15 from the field McGill's defence was impressive Guard Jean-Francois Beaulieu Maheux led the Rouge et Or and outscoring Laval 24-15 in the third in limiting the Rouge et Or to only 39 with a game-high 25 points on nine of 20 shooting, and power quarter. On the back of that rare offen­ per cent shooting from the floor, and forward Marc-Andre Cote gathered in a game-high 16 rebounds. sive spurt, McGill took a 51-46 lead into an abysmal three of 21 from threeLaval's Jean-Philippe Morin barely notched a double-double, the final quarter. point range, but McGill could not scoring 10 points and grabbing 10 rebounds but was plagued But that 51 on the scoreboard did muster any counter-attack and sim­ with foul trouble for much of the game, curbing his normally ef­ not change for over 12 minutes as the. ply matched Laval's offensive inepti­ ficient production. He shot only four of nine from inside the arc, Redmen did not score again until point tude. The Redmen shot a lowly 27 per and missed his only attempt from three-point territory. guard Nick Pronovost, who finished with cent from the floor, and though Ch­ Despite the disappointing loss in Quebec City, however, the 13 points, hit a free throw with 38 sec­ ouinard made four of six three-point­ Redmen followed up with an inspired performance at UQAM, Sat­ onds left in the match. Laval dominated ers, the rest of his teammates went a urday, winning a high-scoring nailbiter 90-85 as El Zanaty lit up the Red 'n'White with a 22-5 run to end brutal two of 23 from behind the arc. the score sheet with a career-high 34 points. Sean Anthony also the game, with McGill's only field goal The Redmen could not contend contributed 15 points to the cause and forward Louis-Philippe Lacoming just four seconds before the end on the glass with the taller Rouge et gredelle put up a double-double with 13 points, 10 rebounds, and of the final quarter.

Or either, who out-rebounded them five blocked shots. McGill, now 3-2 in league play and tied for first The Redmen attributed their shock­ 58-39. McGill did get several second place in the Quebec conference, head to Ryerson to play in the ing collapse to a single factor: the incon- McGill F Sean Anthony stretches for a block, chances, grabbing 18 offensive re­ Ed DeArmon Tournament over the winter break. ■ sistency of their intensity.

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THIRD MAN IN

A Taylor-m ade exam ple T rip Y ang hen NFL superstar Sean Taylor died from a gunshot wound last Tuesday morning, there was specula­ tion as to the reasons behind the attack, which hap­ pened late at night in his own home. While Miami police attributed Taylor's death to an accidental shooting in a burglary gone wrong, pundits in the media linked Taylor's slaying to his discipline problems and shady youth— speculating that the star safety's past transgressions might have been a factor in his untimely death.

As outsiders looking in, we don't really know who Sean Taylor was or what really happened in his Miami home that night. But after mourning his death and celebrating the life he led, we're left with a perplexing realization in the wake of the tragedy: when famous athletes try to distance them­ selves from their street affiliations and troubled younger lives, those dubious associations and"friendships"are often hard to leave behind.

It's difficult for athletes, or anyone for that matter, to leave behind the childhood friends they grew up with, especially in the case of many African-American NFL players who come from poverty-stricken neighborhoods. These players literally go from slums to mansions when the NFL and its lucrative contracts come calling. Tennessee Titans' cornerback Adam 'Pacman'Jones and Atlanta Falcons'quarterback Michael Vick are two of the highest profile examples. Both were top draft picks that signed multi-million dollar contracts and were on the cusp of becoming elite playmakers when bad decisions brought their careers to a halt.

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Despite recommendations from NFL peers to leave be­ hind past detrimental influences, Vick and Jones found disaf­ filiation difficult. In April, Vick and three long-time associates faced federal dogfighting and related gambling charges after Vick's Virginia property was discovered to be operating an in­ terstate dogfighting ring. Vick is currently in federal jail while awaiting formal sentencing Dec. 10 and further state charg­ es. Pacman Jones has been arrested numerous times and is currently facing felony charges stemming from a strip club melee. Pacman and his posse have been accused of firing several gunshots in a crowded club, with one bullet paralyz­ ing a victim from the waist down. Both are now suspended from the NFL and have seriously damaged, if not completely destroyed, their careers In past years, Sean Taylor has had his own run-ins with the law.There was a 2004 DUI arrest following a birthday party and a 2005 armed assault arrest from a dispute over an al­ legedly-stolen ATV. Taylor was no saint on the gridiron either, drawing seven football-related fines in his career. In his early NFL years, Taylor's controversial reputation led many to be­ lieve that his Miami roots still heavily influenced his choices.

Yet ever since the birth of his daughter, Taylor seemed to have been a changed man.Teammate Clinton Portis spoke of the new Sean Taylor as "always smiling, always happy, always talking about his child." Fellow Redskin James Thrash compli­ mented Taylor as someone who had "really got his head on his shoulders and has been doing really well as far as just being a man." By all accounts,Taylor's baby daughter had inspired him

to mature as an individual and become a locker room leader.

There were no further arrests or misconduct incidents.

On Nov. 18, Taylor's home was broken into while no one was home. Police reports indicated a burglary attempt, yet nothing was stolen; only a knife had been placed on Taylor's bed. When Taylor's home was once again broken into on Nov. 27 police reports once again credited the home invasion to burglary.Taylor's gunshot wounds were supposedly the result of a surprised intruder who pulled the trigger spontaneously.

However, many NFL players and media members weren't buying the explanation. Cardinals cornerback Antrel Rolle— a lifelong friend ofTaylor's— credited his slaying to jealous for­ mer friends who had been "targeting (Taylor) for three years now.'"'lt absolutely was not a burglary"said Rolle."Where we're from, there were many people talking to Sean, a lot of jeal­ ousy, a lot of angry people. Sean had a large group of friends, and he no longer hung out with those friends."

When celebrated athletes let their troubled childhood friends cling on to their newfound fortune and fame, they are too often the victims of their own loyalty. Depressingly, even when these athletes do attempt to divorce themselves from a negative past, sometimes it's already too late. For every Allen Iverson who manages to successfully desert a rough crowd, there is a Michael Vick or a Pacman Jones. Most tragic though, are the Sean Taylors, those who, perhaps, at­ tempted to escape the troubled life, but ultimately ended up a victim of a part of society not willing to accept change or self-betterment. ■

04.12.07 • Sports • 21

Aside from football, athletics' GPA looks good R

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Coming off a season in which they went to the CIS National Championships as the Quebec repre- ; sentative, the Martlets came into this season with strong, but somewhat tempered hopes of returning to ■ the final tournament as the team boasted a very youthful lineup as opposed to the veteran-laden squad « that dominated the QSSF in 2006. As predicted, however, this lack of university-level experience caught j j up with the Martlets leading to a frustratingly inconsistent season in which the team posted an 8-1-5 re­ cord and finished third in league play, yet surprisingly bowed out of the playoffs in the first round to the j University of Montreal Carabins, 3-0.

Already a light scoring side compared to the other elite programs in the league, McGill saw its output _ drop this year from 37 scores to 25, a massive 12 goal reduction for a young team that could ill-afford such a drought. Despite the drop-off, mercurial striker Magalie Kolker and midfielder Vanessa Salasky, two of the J Martlet's primary offensive weapons, still managed to post respectable numbers this season with five and j four goals respectively, finishing an impressive fifth and seventh in Quebec scoring. The backline, while . allowing double the number of goals (six) from last season (three), proved to be a source of optimism moving into next year for Head Coach Marc Mounicot as freshmen defender Karlie Kennedy-Cross was * ( recently named a second-team All-Canadian and the QSSF rookie of the year.

Although once ranked second on the CIS national list, the McGill's female footballers were certainly devastated by their early postseason exit and now imbued with some humility and experience, should be ; a much more formidable and consistent side in the 2008 Quebec season.

We'll take a lot of the blame for not giving them more publicity, but the Redmen lacrosse team, still a very young program at McGill Athletics, was a hidden varsity gem on campus this semester. Head Coach Tim Murdoch has loaded his team with recruits from American high schools— where field lacrosse is preferred over Canada's favoured box lacrosse— and also added two-time Cornell All-Ameri- ; can Sean Steinwald to his staff, turning a nascent program into a provincial force.

The Redmen finished the 2007 campaign with their first winning season in five years, posting a 7-2 league record in the Canadian University Field Lacrosse As­ sociation and capturing the Eastern division title for the first time in team history.

Along the way, McGill also downed the Bishop's Gaiters, the traditional Quebec uni­ versity powerhouse, 11-10 in an impressive effort. After gaining a national ranking, the Redmen drove all the way to the CUFLA's championship tournament, the Baggataway Cup, where they eventually fell 10-6 in the semifinals against the Guelph Gryphons.

The lacrosse success was powered primarily by defencemen Jonathan Zim­ merman and former All-Canadian Brendan Farrer as well as by attacker Nick Moreau.

Moreau, who scored 21 goals in only eight games, finished second in CUFLA scor­ ing and all three stalwarts were selected to the East division's All-Star squad. With each of these players returning next year, and with the emergence offorward Lukas LaCava as a bonafide scoring threat in only his second season, the 2008 Redmen will build on this year's promise and show that 2007 was no flash in the pan.

MVP: Magalie Kolker Player to Watch: Karlie Kennedy-Cross — A aro n Sig al

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MVP: Nick Moreau Player to Watch: Lukas LaCava L JÜ

— A aro n Siga! | ..... „...

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After posting a 6-3-3 record in 2006, a season in which the Redmen finished second in the Quebec ! conference but lost in the QSSF semi-finals to Laval, expectations ran high going into 2007.The Redmen certainly provided some brilliant performances this season as seen in an impressive 4-2 victory against the The next 200 words are going to be akin to verbal fellatio— there is just noth-1 ! ‘ eventual CIS runner-up Laval Rouge et Or and the end of year 6-1 thumping of the cross-town rival Con1 ing bad to say about the Redmen rugby squad's 2007 season. The perennial power-!

■cordia Stingers. However, it was maddening inconsistency that proved to be the Redmen's Achilles' heel. house program cruised through an 8-0, undefeated regular season with an average j Led by Head Coach Philipe Eullafroy, who was named QSSF Coach of the Year for the second consec­ margin victory of 45 points per game— including an incredible 83 point victory over utive campaign, McGill employed an offensive tactical formation throughout the season, which resulted ETS. In fact, only once did McGill fail to defeat an opponent by more than 22 points: in the Redmen scoring 21 goals— second most in the QSSF The Red 'n'White finished the regular season 1 an early-season 10-6 win over the Sherbrooke Vert et Or. , with a 5-5-2 record, good enough for fourth place in the tightly contested Quebec conference, earning The Red 'n'White domination continued into the playoffs, where McGill dis­ themselves a playoff date with the perennial powerhouse, Montreal Carabins. In their biggest game of posed of Concordia 25-10 to advance to the QSSF finals for the sixth consecutive the season, the Redmen showed fantastic poise and determination, shocking the favoured Carabins 1-0 in season. In the championship game against Bishop's, the Redmen encountered their the QSSF semi-final clash. The dream of reaching nationals, however, was snuffed out only two days later first real adversity of the season, battling injuries to key players and, subsequently, in Quebec City at the provincial finals as McGill fell 2-0 to Laval. falling behind 8-7 at half-time. But two early second-half tries by DaveTontini led to Although they fell short of their, maybe too-lofty, preseason expectations and predictions, the Red­ a 31-13 victory and the squad's second consecutive QSSF championship. men program continues to improve each year under Eullafroy's guidance. With a little more big-game The prospects for a third consecutive league title are encouraging, as the Red­ experience under their belts, look for the team to take the next step to the CIS finals next season. men will likely return most of the key pieces from their championship-winning squad— minus captain Caleb Balloch and fly-half Adrian Thorogood.The team's two ! MVP: Alejandro Julian top scorers, Alastair Crowe and Kyle Buckley, are in their freshmen and sophomore ï Player to watch: Thomas Lucas — Vladim ir Zivkovic years, respectively, and should improve upon their league-leading totals from this 1 season.

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1 MVP: Alastair Crowe Player to Watch: Jonathan Bell — M a tt Chesser

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It's understandable that the Martlets rugby team might have a slightly skewed | perception of success— after all, this is a team that, just over a year ago, could boast j a seven year undefeated streak in conference play— which is why it's important to i view this season in the appropriate context. Coming into this season, Coach Vince deGrandpré had the unenviable task of replacing his two best players, Conference All-Star Ashley Rycroft and All-Canadian Laura Belvedere, from within an inexperi. enced team composed of 70 percent freshmen players. While deGrandpré may not : be ecstatic with his team's early playoff exit, he should be excited about the future.

The Martlets compiled a 4-1-1 regular season record, including a 78-0 victory over Sherbrooke and a Drummond Cup win against Concordia, to finish second in the QSSF and set-up a playoff meeting with the Stingers. Against their cross-town , rivals, McGill failed to score a single point, dropping the semi-final by a score of 10-0.

This season marked the first time the Martlets failed to reach the conference final : under deGrandpré.

The bright spots are abundant for McGill, however, starting with QSSF rookie Of the year Briana Yerbury, who finished sixth in the Quebec conference scoring race and was named to the QSSF All-Star team. Freshman flanker Mandy Mongeon and third-year scrum-half Melany Waring were also part of the youthful McGill contin­ gent named to the All-Conference squad. The Martlets will have the challenge of replacing star fly-half Maria Jaworsky, who finished fifth in the CIS in scoring, but with the emergence of so many young players this season the Martlets look to b I force to be reckoned with in future years.

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Terrible, abysmal, humiliating, unspeakably bad— take your pick of adjectives to describe the 2007 McGill football season. Despite a large group of returning starters and a new coach with an impressive CIS football pedigree in Sonny Wolfe, the Redmen were still a huge disappointment, finishing the season with a 0-8 record. This year marked the first time in the team's illustrious 127-season history that a squad has finished with eight losses and has been the first winless season since the 1966 Redmen went 0-6.

McGill's problems can be largely pinned on a weak defence that struggled throughout the season, giving up an average of 36 points per game. The Red 'n'White's opponents ran all over the Redmen, as nine opposing players reached the 100 yard rushing mark in just eight games. In fact, McGill played in only one game in which an opposing back failed to rush 100 yards or more— the same game in which Acadia quarterback Keith Lockwood threw for 456 yards.The only bright spots on the embarrassing unit were defensive backs Anthony Lucka, who led the CIS in tackles with 71.5, and Schuyler O'Brien, who led the team with three interceptions. While both players should return next year, Wolfe still has his work cut out for him if he hopes to revamp the atrocious unit left behind by former coach Chuck McMann.

On the other side of the ball, Matt Connell and his impressive receiving core were the only weapons for the most predictable attack in the CIS. Connell lead the CIS in attempts (334), completions (197) and yards (2533), all good enough numbers for school and conference records. Two of his receivers, Erik Galas and Charles-Antoine Sinotte, were rewarded with berths on the All-Canadian team, while Connell earned a spot on the QUFL All-Star squad. Sinotte set a QUFL single game record for receptions (18) as well as a CIS record for receptions in a season (72), while Galas led all McGill receivers with seven touch­ downs. However, after all the preseason talk of a balanced attack, the McGill running game was anemic again this year— failing to gain 500 yards in 2007. The Redmen were also the first CIS team in 28 years not to attempt a field goal in a season, as the team couldn't find a satisfactory kicker— unacceptable for a squad at this level.

MVP: Matt Connell Player to Watch: Schuyler O'Brien — M ike Vallo

MVP: Maria Jaworsky Player to watch: Briana Yerbury — M a tt Chesser

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22 • Sports • 04.12.07

The McGill Tribune

UPON FURTHER REVIEW

Sports Briefs Labonté loses new streak but Marltets win again Forward Shauna Denis tallied twice as top-ranked McGill rallied with four unanswered goals for a 4-1 triumph, over Concordia in women's uni­ versity hockey at the Ed Meagher Arena, Saturday. It was the Martlets' 16th consecutive victory over a CIS opponent and also marked the team's 14th straight win over their cross-town rivals dating back to a 2-1 road loss on Feb. 5,2006.

After a scoreless first period, Catherine Desjardins gave the Stingers a 1-0 lead on the power play at 8:49 of the middle stanza. It was Concordia's first goal in more than four contests against McGill and their first marker against goalie Charline Labonté since the final game of last year's confer­ ence finals, snapping her shutout streak against the Stingers at 192 minutes and 45 seconds. Labonté bore down and shut the door after that, ending up with 11 saves to improve her regular season record to 10-0 and her ca­ reer mark to 51-6-3. She currently leads the nation in shutouts (7), goalsagainst average (0.50) and save percentage (.967) and is ranked second in wins (10).

Denis, the Martlets team captain, tied the game on a bizarre play, with a 125-foot backhanded clearing pass from about 10-feet inside her blueline.

The shot slid the length of the ice and eluded Stingers netminder Meggy Hatin-Leveillée, who appeared to let it pass through the goal crease and under her stick in anticipation of an icing call. The floodgates opened after that, with goals from veteran Rebecca Martindale late in the second period, another by Denis early in the third and one with just over ten minutes re­ maining from Caroline Hill.

McGill enters the exam and holiday break with a 17-3-1 record overall, including an unblemished 10-0-0 mark in the Quebec league.They resume play in three weeks at the Guelph Holiday Classic tournament, Dec. 28-30, where McGill is slated to play eighth-ranked Guelph, No.4-Laurier and N0.2Alberta, respectively.

Redmen fall to Varsity Blues in Toronto Toronto forward Anthony Pallotta scored a power-play and shorthanded goal, his 12th and 13"1 markers of the season, and veteran Joe Rand added a pair of empty-net goals in the final minute as the Varsity Blues upset ninth-ranked McGill 5-2 in men's hockey, Saturday at Varsity Arena.

Although the Redmen had a 44-22 edge in shots, including a 21-7 margin in the middle period, the team was constantly stoned by G Russ Brownell.

Despite entering the game with one of the league's .most potent power-play units, McGill was unable to connect on any of their six man-ad­ vantage opportunities, a carbon copy of their playoff series loss to Toronto last spring.

Winger Vincent Lambert and defenceman Yan Turcotte both scored for McGill, who will enter the December break second in the OUA East Divi­ sion with an 11-4-1 record, two points behind UQTR (12-3-1) and four ahead of Concordia (9-7-1). The Redmen are 15-6-0 overall and scheduled to de­ part after Christmas for a tournament in Belgrade, Serbia before resuming league play on Jan. 12 with a road game against University of Ontario Insti­ tute ofTechnology, a new OUA team based in Oshawa.

Martlets caged by UQAM 70-53 Guard Jessica Bibeau-Côté scored 16 points and grabbed six rebounds as UQAM thumped McGill 70-53 in women's basketball at the Centre Sportif de I'UQAM, Saturday. Emilie Ruel, a 6-foot-2 centre, was the McGill star as she contributed a double-double for the now 1-4 Martlets with 12 points, a game-high 13 rebounds and one blocked shot.

UQAM led 15-14 after one quarter and 32-28 at halftime, before pulling away in the second half, outscornig the Martlets 24-11 in the third stanza to take a commanding 56-39 lead.

The great schedule debate Hey, it only took them three years! In a move so befitting of the farce that the NHL's management has becom the league finally dumped the insipid post-lockout schedule structure that was so vociferously railed against by plaers, owners, general managers and the fans. The hated NHL calendar currently in use has teams playing divisional o; ponents a mind-boggling eight times each, as well as 40 games within the conference and only ten inter-conferenc matches in which a squad visits each divison on the opposite side only once every three seasons. Designed to promo; regional and divisional rivalries, the ridiculous schedule has produced nothing of the sort; instead of intensity and ha tred, it has generated only boredom when watching your team play the same opponents 32 times a year. Additional! the ancient rivalries that existed already, such as the always-heated Leafs-Red Wings clash, were snuffed out by logis tics. On a more pressing level, the moronic cross-conference rules deprived mainly Western cities from ever seeing the poster-boys for the NHL's future, Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin playing their teams or visiting their arenas— 1 major problem for a floundering league trying to build up interest in the Western United States. There is no question that every puckhead is thrilled to see this monstrosity disappear in favour of a more rational, pre-lockout schedule th, allows each team to play each other at least once a season and provides for special exemptions such as always nece: sitating Western Canadian trips to Ottawa, Montreal, and Toronto, and vice versa.

But supposedly now, in order to create an even "newer" schedule that would make sure every franchise visite every arena in the NHL at least once a year, the league GMs are considering upping the games played from 82 to 8 tilts. While the owners will obviously push for the chance to host more home games, the NHL needs to pretend li! this was never even mentioned. The schedule doesn't need to be increased; if anything, a reduction in games to thneighbourhood of 70-76 would be optimal as it would give the players some more rest for their brutalized bodies. I; all about quality of play, not quantity. Also, a shorter schedule will allow a postseason that starts earlier and ends in pseudo-hockey time of year, not late June when all the fans show up to the arena with tans and Hawaiian shirts.

NHL, what’s wrong with a system that we all know and love? Nothing! Well, unless you want to make it shorter.

—Aaron Sigal The NHL schedule debate isn't going away anytime soon.That's because, while the"new"schedule is an improvement upon the idiotic post-lockout matrix, it still doesn't provide fans of Western Conference teams with a chance to see players like Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin and Vincent Lecavlier every year. And while the three "wild card games"are great for the Canadian squads, they aren't as beneficial for teams like the Anaheim Ducks— who will probably end up squaring off against three Southeast division teams with whom they have no history.

The solution to the scheduling woes is blindingly obvious: adopt an 84 game schedule that would feature a home-and-home series against non-conference teams and reduce the preseason from nine games to six. An 84 game regular season isn't new— from 1992-94 each team played 84 contests per season— and a 2.5 per cent increase in games played per season will not make a significant difference in player fatigue or injuries. This move is necessary, in a large part, because of the attendance woes in previously strong American markets and the necessity of promoting individual players in order to grow the game.

Attendance is down dramatically in traditionally strong hockey markets such as Detroit, Colorado and Dallas since the lockout. One factor in the attendance woes has been the lack of visits from marquee Eastern Conference teams. Do you really think fans in Hockeytown wouldn't jump at the chance to see another Original Six team like Toronto, Montreal or New York every season? Or that the Avalanche's marketing department wouldn't be able to sell tickets when Crosby, Ovechkin or Lecavalier come to town?

The second rhetorical question touches on my latter point about the need to market individuals in order to promote hockey, because in order to build name recognition for a player like Crosby in a Western Conference town, he needs to visit that town every year. The NHL can't promote a team-based identity, like the NFL has successfully done, because hockey is so heavily reliant on individual skill and therefore it must take every possible measure to increase the exposure of its top talent.

Change is good. The NHL has taken the first step towards progressive change, by realizing the schedule of the past three years was a mistake, now they just need to go that extra mile. And with the players recently advocating an 84 game schedule, pehaps a blissful end to the schedule debate is finally near. ____________________________________________________________ — Matt Chesser

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ON DECK The Tribune knows that our loyal readers are busy during the holiday season, so here's a look ahead to the best sporting events between now and our next edition of the paper re­ turning Jan. 8, 2008: NHL Hockey—Toronto Maple Leafs at Montreal Canadians; Dec. 15 , 7 p.m. at the Bell Centre, CBC Morbid curiosity should be enough of a reason to watch the Leafs right now, since it's fun to wallow in Toronto's collective self-pity. God forbid the "centre of the hockey universe" has to endure a bad team! The mighty Leafs can't possibly be among the league's basement dwellers, they're too im­ portant for that. Do us all a favour and get over yourself Toronto, but hopefully not before this game rolls around, because your anguish is too much fun. Leafs vs. Habs on Hockey Night in Canada? Damn right we'll all be watching.

NBA Basketball— Phoenix Suns at L.A. Lakers; Dec. 25,5 p.m. at the Sta­ ples Centre, RSN You can always count on the NBA to give you one compelling Christmas ' Day game, allowing you to slip away from your family for a couple of hours to regain some measure of sanity.

And if your family is Canadian, there's no way they can object to you sup­ porting Canada's favourite son, Steve Nash, in his quest to conquer the NBA's antichrist, Kobe Bryant.

World Junior Hockey Champion­ ship— Czech Republic vs. Canada; Dec. 26, 2 p.m. at Pardubice Arena, TSN The first day of the World Juniors fea­ tures a marquee match between the host Czechs and the three-time de­ fending champion, our boys in red and white. Whatever you do, don't let your significant other drag you to an overcrowded mall while this game is on. Saving $10 on jeans is not worth missing the start of Canada's quest for a fourth straight gold.

NFL Football— New England Patriots at New York Giants; Dec. 29,8 p.m. at Giants Stadium,TSN We're going out on a limb with this one. If the Patriots lose a game be­ tween now and December 29th then forget we mentioned this, as Brady, Moss et al. will be riding the pine. But if New England enters week 17 with a shot at the perfect season then there's a good chance Belichick will play his starters in order to have a shot at a 16-0 regular season record. And if so, what else would you be doing that is | more important than this?

BCS Title Game; Ohio State vs. LSU; Jan. 7,8 p.m. at the Louisiana Superdome, FOX This is stretching the limits of'holiday season", but it's not like anyone's going to be doing any real work in the first full week of school, anyway. The sea­ son of ridiculous upsets ends in New Orleans, with a game between two contenders pulled out of a hat last week— at least that's how we think the rankings work. This season was definitive proof that college football needs a playoff system, but, neverthe­ less, this should be a good game.Two exciting teams meet under the bright­ est lights, and even if you don't follow college pigskin, the hype surrounding the game makes it must-see TV.

FANTASY PICKS

Coiffure

it's exam tim e at McGill, but m ore im ­ portantly, this w eek m arks the start o f fan­ tasy football playoffs for m ost leagues. If you needed another distraction, you now have an excuse to look at stats all day instead of studying. Suffice it to say I'm going to get ab ­ solutely nothing done over the next couple o f w eeks. The m oney and bragging rights for an entire year are only three w eeks aw ay from being decided, so if you're not in m y league, good luck. Now onto the picks, this w eek w ith the focus on the ultim ate fantasy position: the running back.

Take it to the house RB Adrian Peterson— M innesota: Adrian "All Day" Peterson will be playing a 49ers d e ­ fense that ranks in the bottom ten in NFL rush defence, but really, it doesn't m atter w ho he plays. The m ost exciting back since Barry Sanders w ill show w h y he's leading the league in yards even after tw o w eeks o ff by rushing for at least 150 yards and a TD.

Sit him RB Laurence M aroney— New England: O ne o f the leading candidates for fantasy dud o f the year, M aroney has only tw o to u ch ­ dow ns this season. He's playing a Steelers d e ­ fense that's num ber tw o in the league against the rush, but his biggest enem y is Bill Belich­ ick, w ho w ould rather throw on the goal line than get then the sim ple TD. Surprise, surprise RB Fred Jackson— Buffalo: The success o f this pick hinges on M arshawn Lynch's sprained ankle, but even if Lynch is healthy by Sunday, look for Jackson to shoulder a portion of the load. And since it m ight only take five to ten carries to have a big day against Miami, it's w orth it to take a chance on Jackson in deep leagues.

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