The McGill Tribune Vol. 27 Issue 27

TAs ON STRIKE, BUT WE'RE STILL GRADING, PAGES 8 & 24

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Published by the Students' Society of McGill University

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STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE: THE MCGILLTRIBUNE, PAGE 20

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Volume 27 Issue 27 • April 8, 2008

T rib p h o to h ig h lig h ts

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s trik e to d a y Negotiations break down K en S un Effective today at 12:01 a.m., teaching assistants of the Association of Graduate Students Employed at McGill will be on strike, after negotiations with the McGill administration this past Saturday and Monday deteriorated.

AGSEM Vice-President External Nata­ lie Kouri-Towe pointed to a general lack in response from the negotiators represent­ ing McGill as the final decision to strike.

"There has been an overall lack of movement from McGill," Kouri-Towe said.

Last Thursday, Deputy Provost Stu­ dent Life and Learning Morton Mendel­ son, who is not involved in the negotia­ tions but speaks for the university, sent a McGill-wide e-mail detailing that "various measures will be taken to maintain nor­ mal functioning of the University." Prior to the weekend negotiations, Mendelson and Robert Comeau, director of Employee Relations at McGill and head of the McGill bargaining delegation, had been optimis­ tic about coming to an agreement.

Despite assertions from the AGSEM bargaining committee and the executive that the administration has been unwill­ ing to comply with their demands or make any effort to seek common ground,

both Mendelson and Comeau assert that McGill's negotiators have worked to seek common ground.

"We made some agreements; we agreed on training sessions for the TAs," Comeau said. "One thing we do not agree on is their salary demands."

At the core of the conflict between the TA union and the administration is the debate over wages. McGill TAs, on aver­ age, are paid $22.24 per hour, and AGSEM has been asking for a wage increase to $31.50, or 41 per cent, a level that would make McGill TAs'wages competitive with the top 13 research-intensive universities in Canada, commonly known as the G13.

However, the administration has stood fast by a 2 per cent raise per year, to $24.03 by 2011.

"McGill TAs are the best paid TA's in Quebec," Mendelson said, adding that a wage increase of 41 per cent is "totally un­ acceptable" and an "unjustified amount of money."

According to Mendelson, McGill ran a $i5-million deficit last year, and in con­ junction with the Quebec government, agreed to eliminate that deficit in three years.

See WAGES on page 4

BoG ratifies Plan New policies guide changes T heo M eyer & V incci T sui McGill's Board of Governors ap­ proved the new Physical Master Plan of Planning and Design Principles at a meet­ ing in the University Club last night with little debate.The approved portion estab­ lished yesterday is only half of what will comprise the final Master Plan.

"There will be another document called the Demonstration Plan and to­

gether these will form the Master Plan," said François Roy, McGill vice-principal administration and finance.

The 75-page document establishes policies to guide the university's planning process, including specific recommenda­ tions on preserving and expanding ex­ isting green space, preserving heritage buildings, reducing the number of ve­ hicles on the downtown campus and enSee CURRENT on page 5

The Tribune presents a selected showcase of the year's top photos. See pages 16 and 17 for more.

A P R IL SA LE $10 O N A L L T-SHIRTS M cG ill ATHLETICS

r e d b lr d

S P O R T S SH O P

$25 O N A L L H O O D IES w w w .a th le tic s .m c g ill.c a

F I T N E S S & R E C R E A T IO N C L A S S E S SPR IN G 2008

MAY 5 - JU N E 19

COURSE

DAY & TIME

COST

WKS

Member/Non-member

AQUATICS Adults Learn To Swim

Tuesday

18:30-19:25

30.12/43.41

6

(Level 1 Beginner)

Saturday

11:00-11:55

30.12/43.41

6

DAN CE Latin

Tuesday

18:00-18:55

23.92/37.21

6

Social Dance

Tuesday

19:00-20:25

31.90/45.18

6

Hatha Yoga I

Mon & Wed

17:30-18:40

42.53/69.11

6

Kick, Punch, Jive & Jam

Tues & Thurs

17:30-18:25

23.92/50.71

6

Pilâtes

Monday

18:00-19:25

23.92/37.21

6

Wednesday

18:00-19:25

23.92/37.21

6

Power Yoga

Mon & Wed

17:00-17:55

31.40/58.48

6

Spin

Tues & Thurs

17:00-17:55

37.21/63.79

6

Tuesday

17:30-18:25

31.01/44.30

6

Wednesday

18:00-18:55

31.01/44.30

6

McGill

FITNESS 8i W ELLN ESS

A T H L E T I C S 2008 SPRING SESSION

SPORTS Squash Tennis (All Levels)

Monday

19:00-20:10

39.87/53.16

6

Tuesday

17:30-18:40

39.87/53.16

6 6

Wednesday

18:00-19:55

63.79/77.08

Thursday

17:30-18:40

39.87/53.16

6

Tues & Thurs

18:45-19:55

79.74/106.32

6

Saturday

10:00-11:55

63.79/77.08

6

Sunday

10:00-11:55

63.79/77.08

6

Aikido

Tuesday &

17:30-19:30

53.16/79.74

6

Friday

17:00-20:00

Kickboxing

Tues & Thurs

18:00-19:25

31.90/58.48

6

Shaolin/Kung Fu

Tues & Thurs

19:00-20:30

31.90/58.48

6

Tae Kwon Do

Mon & Wed

19:00-20:30

31.90/58.48

6

Equestrian (Transportation Required)

Saturday

13:30-15:30

141.77/150.62

6

Sunday

13:30-15:30

141.77/150.62

6

Hiking

Sat, May 10

All Day

46.96/49.62

1

All Day

70.88/79.74

R e g is t r a t io n

o p e n s A p r il 1 4 , 2 0 0 8 in

t h e S p o r t s C o m p le x 8 : 3 0 a m

- 8 pm

Through the spring and summer months, M cG ill students must purchase a m embership in order to gain access to the Sports Complex. Special student rates are in effect fo r all those w h o w ere registered th rou gh the 2008 w inter semester.

FULL SPRING & SUMMER MEMBERSHIP

M ARTIAL ARTS

M c G ill S t u d e n t s

$99*

S T U D E N T M A Y S P E C IA L

$33

OUTDOOR PURSUITS

Sat, May 24 Sat, May 31 Sun, June 8 Sun, June 15 Rock Climbing

Sat, May 10

* I n c lu d e s f r e e a c c e s s t o P A Y -A S -Y O U -G O f i t n e s s c la s s e s t h r o u g h M a y & J u n e • N o n-m em bers registered in courses m ay use the fa c ility o nly d urin g th e ir d esign ated class tim es.

• Most classes begin the w eek of M ay 5 and run through w eek of June 9, 2008.

• P a y-A s-Y o u -G o classes begin M ay 5 and run until June 19, 2008.

• Classes w ill not be held M ay 19, 2008.

A ll prices listed d o n o t in clu d e GST & QST

FITNESS & W ELLN ESS (PAY-AS-YOU-GO) SPIN

Monday

18:00-18:55

ABS, BACK & BOOTIE

Monday

17:30-18:25

BODY DESIGN

Tues 8i Thurs

18:00-18:55

STEP

Wednesday

17:00-17:55

BOOT CAMP

Wednesday

17:30-18:25

RETRO CARDIO

Tues 8i Thurs

POWER YOGA

Thursday

2.22

COURSE

DAY & TIME

COST

WKS

STAFF FITNESS Aqua Fitness

17h00-17h55 18:00-18:55

ONE ON ONE

Mon 8i Wed

12:15-13:00

Belly Dancing

Mond & Fri

12:15-13:00

6

Body Design - Adv

Tues & Thurs

12:15-13:00

6

Body Design - Intro

Tues & Thurs

13:00-13:45

6 6

$13.29

6

Dance Aerobics

Tues 8i Thurs

12:15-13:00

Fitness Walking

Tues & Thurs

12:15-13:00

6

Hatha Yoga I

Tues & Thurs

13:00-13:45

6

Fitness Appraisal (Private)

by appointment

44.30/48.73

1.25 hrs

Personal Training (Private)

by appointment

44.30/48.73

1 hrs

Personal Training (Semi-Private)

by appointment

30.13/34.55

1 hrs

Squash (Private)

by appointment

23.92/26.58

45 min

Power Yoga Lite

Squash (Semi-Private)

by appointment

15.95/18.61

45 min

Recess

Swim (Private)

by appointment

17.72/20.38

1/2 hr

Spin

Swim (Semi-Private)

by appointment

12.40/15.06

1/2 hr

Tai Chi

Tennis (Private)

by appointment

23.92/26.58

1 hr

Tennis

Tennis (Semi-Private)

by appointment

15.95/18.61

1 hr

Hatha Yoga II

Tues & Thurs

12:00-12:45

6

Pilâtes - Intro

Mon 8c Wed

12:15-13:00

6

Pilâtes - Advanced

Tues & Thurs

12:15-13:00

6

Mon 8i Wed

12:00-12:45

6

Mon 8i Wed

12:15-13:00

6

Tues 8c Thurs

13:00-13:45

6

Mon 8c Wed

13:00-13:45

6

Mon 8c Wed

12:30-13:15

6

Tues 8c Thurs

12:30-13:15

6

INFO: 5 1 4 -3 9 8 -7 0 0 0 o r w w w .athletics.m cgill.ca

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Recycling in Montreal below provincial goals Low rate seen as problem as Lachenaie landfill reaches full capacity T rip Y a n g

Montrealers have been slow to answer the call to recycle, accord­ ing to a municipal report released in March.

While 37 per cent of recyclable waste was recycled in the city in 2006, up from 17.3 per cent in 2002, Montreal's recycling statistics still are far below the province's target of 60 per cent.

"Despite the statistical improve­ ment, the figures are still well below what is satisfactory," said Warren Huard, coordinator of Greening Mc­ Gill. "I'm not sure how much of the responsibility is on the residents and how much is on the municipality, but more needs to be done."

In 2006, 78 per cent of Mon­ treal's waste was deposited at the Lachenaie landfill. Because the site will be full by August, the Montreal municipality has requested that the Quebec government expand the landfill. Chris Wrobel, former chair of the Post-Graduate Students' Society Environmental Committee, does not believe that relegation of waste to landfills is a practical long-term solu­ tion.

"The days of dumping waste into landfills are over," Wrobel said.

"Besides the fact that waste dumps don't hold forever, there are environ­

mental hazards, such as the waste bacteria generating greenhouse gases."

Outremont topped all of Mon­ treal's 18 boroughs, recycling 59 per cent of its recyclable waste, while Montreal North was the lowest with 17 per cent.

"I'm not sure what the borough

disparity is attributable to," Wrobel said. "It may be due to some local governments pushing the issues more intensely than others."

A $i.o2-billion project promoted by cities in the Montreal region last fall for the construction of compost­ ing and recycling facilities would boost the lagging rates, though the

plan was criticized by Montreal op­ position party Vision Montreal as excessively costly. However, pricey measures may be the only solution for waste diversion, according to Wrobel.

"Realistically, the administration may have to start charging for col­ lecting garbage bags. The first two

E n v iro n m e n ta lly -c o n s c io u s re sid e n ts h e lp b u m p u p th e city's m e a sly re c y c lin g stats.

to four bags would be free, but after­ ward each additional bag will come at a fee. That may be the only real way to get residents to care, since advertisements alone aren't going to do the job,"he said.

Huard believes efforts to pro­ mote waste diversion at McGill can be extended into the Montreal pop­ ulace.

"Greening McGill has advocated composting in school cafeterias. Per­ haps similar efforts could be broad­ ened outside McGill," he said.

In fall 2006, Montreal's environ­ ment committee suggested provid­ ing bigger recycling bins and direct­ ing more waste away from landfills.

Regardless of the method used, Wrobel believes a wake-up call is needed.

"Eighty five per cent of waste is recyclable. I look at the statistics and they're disappointing. New leg­ islation needs to be introduced and people need to be more aware of these issues."

Toronto mayor candidate Rod Muir recently spoke at Green Drinks Montreal, a social forum promoting environmental awareness. Among the issues Muir emphasized are the establishment of recycling, food scraps and residual containers near convenience stores and cash rewards to recycling participants. ■

S PE A K E R S

Ignatieff talks human rights at Concordia Liberal MP draws on research experience to discuss global citizenship T heo M

eyer

Liberal Party Deputy Leader Mi­ chael Ignatieff's speech to a crowd of approximately 150 students at Concordia University last Friday featured a combination of personal anecdotes and his years of human rights teaching experience.

Ignatieff posed the question of whether or not the definition of a "global citizen" is a member of the human race or of one particular state, and whether this is valid in an increasingly globalized age. He cited personal experiences in the Balkan Wars of the 1990s to show how glob­ al concerns break down in the face of national conflict. "People talk about their human allegiances until the guns start to fire," he said.

However Ignatieff believes progress has been made over the last 200 years, citing the movement to abolish the slave trade. Once in­ ternationally acceptable, a slave trade between states would be un­ thinkable now.

"Our emotions [in matters such as this] are a product of the history of the societies we've lived in," he said.

Ignatieff went on to outline the importance of national citi­ zens and states in his concept of a

global citizenry.

“I don't think you can be a good global citizen if you're not a good national citizen," he said. "The chief problem in the world is that not all people live in strong and capable states."

According to Ignatieff, creat­ ing strong, capable states is a more important goal than solving global warming, ending poverty or fixing the North-South divide because strong states will be able to solve these problems directly. Canada's pri­ ority should be to assist in strength­ ening states rather than simply to provide aid to poor countries.

Ignatieff is an expert in the sub­ ject of human rights and served as director of Harvard University's Carr Center for Human Rights Policy from 2000 until 2005.

"It's one of his specialties," said Tarek Assaf, president of Liberal Con­ cordia. "I think the crowd really ap­ preciated what he had to say."

Liberal McGill President and former Tribune news editor Matt Campbell said that he was familiar with Ignatieff's work in the past, but that the speech brought up some new aspects of his research.

"I've had a chance to read his work on human rights and idolatry before," Campbell said. "I really liked his sense th^the world was coming

together."

Ignatieff's speech was emphat­ ic, decisive and almost aggressive in its tone. At one point, he stated that Chinese soldiers on the streets of Lhasa in Tibet could not maintain

order there forever.

"I'm just telling you what any damn fool knows as a fact," he said.

Campbell said this approach differed from that of other politi­ cians and praised Ignatieff's ability

to discuss complicated situations.

"He's very straightforward. He has a way of dealing with complex issues,"Campbell said."Given his aca­ demic background, this is his natural way of speaking." ■

The McGill Tribune

4 • News • 08.04.08

IN T E R N A T IO N A L

9 McGill

Montrealer on Saudi death row

The D epartm ent of Psychiatry &

Concordian could be publicly beheaded

School of S o cial Work present

James G

D r. J o h n

il m a n

G . G u n d e rs o n

“ B o rd e rlin e P e rs o n a lity D is o rd e r P s y c h o e d u c a tio n fo r F a m ilie s : O v e rd u e a n d U n d e ru tiliz e d " Thu rsd ay, A pril 2 4 , 2 0 0 8 , 7 - 8 :3 0 pm Room 232, Le aco ck Pavilion on the M c G ill U n iversity C am pus at M cTavish and D octor Penfield M on tre a l T h is p u b lic le cture , offered in E n g lish , is m ade p o ssib le th rou gh the ge n ero sity of the Beatty M e m o ria l L e ctu re s C o m m itte e http://www.medicine.mcgiU.ca/psychiatry/serninars.htm

Downward dog days?

In the latest development in the case of two Cana­ dian citizens charged with murder in Saudi Arabia, Sultan Koh'ail, 17, was sentenced to one year in prison and 200 lashes last Saturday.

The fate of Concordia continuing education student Mohamed Kohail is uncertain after his lawyer was threat­ ened by judges hearing his appeal case on Mar. 31. Kohail, 23,was convicted of murder charges and sentenced to death, most likely public beheading by sword, on Mar. 3 for his alleged role in a schoolyard fight that led to the death of 19-year-old Munzer Haraki early last year. The ad­ vocate for Kohail was ejected from the courtroom after presenting a document for his appeal.

"He [presented] the document to the judge and the judge kicked him out and threatened to revoke his li­ cence,” said Mahmoud al-Ken, a close friend of the Kohail family who hosts an Arabic radio show in Montreal.

The appeal could still be heard, as the judges did not say yes or no to it, al-Ken continued.

This is the latest chapter of a legal process that sup­ porters of Kohail have called flawed. His trial consisted of only 10 short 10-minute hearings which supporters, in­ cluding his family, argue is unfair.

"He didn't get a fair trial," al-Ken said. "We are not ask­ ing them to overturn the legal system there, [or] to change everything... but what we're asking for is a fair trial which is guaranteed in Saudi [Arabia].”

University of Montreal law strident and.high school friend Golmehr Attaran implored the courts to give Kohail a fair trial.

"We don't know if he's going to be freed but at least we should ensure a fair trial for him," she said. "If anyone else were in his shoes, they would want the same.”

Mohamed and Sultan were arrested Jan. 17,2007 after the brawl at Sultan's Jiddah school. Haraki and others con­ fronted Sultan, accusing him of insulting Haraki's female cousin. There are two conflicting accounts of the result­ ing melee, which Kohail entered to help his brother. The prosecution's version is that the two brothers beat Haraki to death, while the Kohails' version is that he was killed in the midst of a pack of fighting boys.

An autopsy revealed that Haraki died from bleeding above the bladder combined with a heart condition, not a blow to the head as some had claimed.

Following the sentencing on Mar. 3, supporters of Ko­ hail have called upon the Canadian government to take action and press for the verdict to be overturned. The Ca­ nadian government has since said it will seek clemency for Kohail and Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day discussed the case with Saudi officials during a recent visit to the kingdom, calling on the verdict to be overturned and the case reviewed.

"There is a review process in similar cases within the judicial framework of Saudi Arabia's justice system," Day said in a statement following his trip.

However, al-Ken .claimed Day did not meet with the right people, and that the government needs to do more to help Kohail.

"I hope that the Canadian government will act on a higher level, and [we’re] specifically asking Minister Bernier to fly overthereand meet with his counterpart specifically about the case,” he said. ■

CAM PUS

Fee bump sees funds for Shatner space improvements S tre ss g o t y o u d o w n ?

T a k e a b r e a k w ith a u n iq u e s e le c tio n o f fitn e s s a c tiv itie s d e s ig n e d to e a s e a n x ie ty a ro u n d e x a m -tim e .

P a r t m e d ita tiv e a n d p a r t p h y s ic a l, it’ s t h e p e r f e c t o p p o r t u n i t y to g e t y o u r n o s e o u t o f t h e b o o k s a n d s t i c k it i n a m a t.

Yoga Tuesday & Thursday April 8 - April 24 17h30-18h25 or Monday & Wednesday April 7 - April 23 18h30-19h25 Students and gym members $20.00 Non-members $40.00

Register in Client Services McGill Sports Centre 475 Pine Ave 398-7011

Club executives say $19,000 is not enough K ristin M

a ic h

The Students'Society's decision to raise their base fee by one dollar last semester has resulted in the accumu­ lation of $19,000 in funds specifically designated for the improvement of student space in the Shatner building.

"Students will see the effects of the [fee]' increase," said Marcelle Kosman, SSMU vice-president clubs and ser­ vices, citing increased locker space on the fourth floor and improvements to Gert's, in addition to paint jobs, sound­ proofing and more space for clubs' offices that needed upgrades in Shatner. "[It] is absolutely worth it because there are hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of reno­ vations in this building that would better serve students," she said.

"A paint job is definitely not at the top of my list," said incoming TVMcGill associate news producer Aliya David­ son, U2 cultural studies and religious studies. "Something like making the common space, like the ballroom, more usable would be great."

There is presently a space committee in place, which will receive applications from student groups in Shatner and submit these recommendations to Council for ap­

proval, according to Kosman.

Vanessa Barrett, U2 biomedical science and world re­ ligion, pointed out that the space designated to the Black Students' Network in Shatner has been largely furnished through student donations of furniture and shelves.

"I think even the computers aren't from SSMU," she said. "New cabinets would also be nice."

Kosman stated that the increase to the student fee is most likely a one-time hike.

"Whether or not the fee is increased again in the fall is a decision for next year's executive and Council," Kos­ man said. "It would need to be passed by a referendum, so really it's up to the students, but I doubt anyone will try to raise it."

Davidson does not believe that the money from the fee increase will cover all the costs necessary for a space improvement overhaul in Shatner. "$19,000 isn't really that much when you look at how many clubs there are— over 300— and these clubs have to raise money on their own,"she said. "TVMcGill, for example, requires a lot of expensive equipment. I think we have to look at a service-by-service, club-by-club basis, rather than [have] a homogenized system [of fund distribution]."*

Wages at core of dispute Admin cites TA's as Quebec's highest paid Continued from COVER "The University only has so much money," Mendelson said. "We can only have a $s-million deficit next year. To meet our deficit target, there will be cuts to the system."

After reading similar claims that McGill's TAs received the highest wages in the province in the McGill News Bul­ letin, Marc-Andre Rousseau, a graduate student and TA in mathematics and statistics, was frustrated by what appear to be inaccuracies from the cdministration.

T h e administration's decision to spread lies is counter­ productive and seems to indicate a lack of good faith in the negotiation process," Rousseau said.

Examples of higher TA wages in Quebec can be seen at Concordia University, where TAs are limited to a ten hour

workweek, and TAs in the science faculty can be paid up to $27.74 per hour. However, this is only the rate paid to most "Grade 1" Science TA's and demonstrators; these are desig­ nated as Tutorial Leaders”and are responsible for possible tutorial sessions, are required to hold office hours and help grade exams. Wages for other TAs drop as low as $12.00 for "Grade 3,”or those who only serve as an assistant to the pro­ fessor in the laboratory or classroom.

While details are still being worked out about the strike, Kouri-Towe urges students to consult the AGSEM Web site for any new developments.

At press time, the representatives from the administra­ tion could not be reached for comment, due to the timing of the labour union's decision. ■

www.mcgilltribune.com

08.04.08 • News • 5

Current initiatives lauded Admin tackles Task Force recommendations C o n tin u e d fro m CO V ER

suring residence space for all non-local first-year students.

"Fundamentally, it's meant to be the principles that will guide us in the development process and the projects that will be put forth," Alumni Association representative Michael Richards said.

Deputy Provost Morton Mendelson gave the final re­ port to BoG on the administration's response to the report by the Principal's Task Force on Student Life and Learning.

Created in spring 2005, the Task Force made recommen­ dations for improving counselling and student support services, addressing the problems with student financial assistance, relations between Quebec and out-of-province students and the online student experience.

Principal Heather Munroe-Blum stressed the impor­ tance of achieving these goals set out by the Task Force.

"We won't be the great university we claim to be if we don't meet these goals," she said.

Mendelson cited several positive steps that the ad­ ministration has taken in response to the report, citing the

recent Cut the Red Tape contest, the renovation of the first floor of the Redpath Library and an ongoing workshop for staff to improve student services as examples. "[The workshop] has been used to provide people from across the university and across the units an oppor­ tunity to share, to network, so that when students come to one area they are greeted by people with an understand­ ing of the kind of services that are provided across the uni­ versity," he said.

Still, Mendelson admitted that most of the recom­ mendations will take more time to implement.

"Some of the things haven't percolated down to stu­ dents yet,"he said."Students are still waiting for results."

Students' Society President Jake Itzkowitz commend­ ed Mendelson's efforts after his report, applauding the ad­ ministration's instigation of online room bookings despite the fact that there were still some"kinks"that needed to be worked out.

"I think Professor Mendelson is being modest," Itzkow­ itz said."Students are seeing some change."*

Correction: In the article, "Trib pushed to autonomy" (01.04.08) Yahel Carmon was quoted without being directly interviewed by the paper. What he said was part of a private conversation, and was spoken off the record. The Tribune apologizes for this error.

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SSMlTs balancing act Which mandate gets priority in Shatner?

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ith its lease set to expire this summer, the fate of room 103 in the Shatner building— better known as Caférama— will be decided at this Thursday's Council meeting.

A flurry of mandates from General Assemblies, referenda questions and the SSMU Constitution will be considered to decide upon the new occupants.

Tenders in the process include student-run initia­ tives Advancing Canadian Entrepreneurship, the Sus­ tainability Café and Midnight Kitchen in addition to corporate food vendors Café Supreme, Java U, MTY Group and the current tenant Caférama.

During the regular General Assembly in 2007, a motion passed calling for the prioritization of student endeavours, and that if'Yevenue-generating activities are to be contracted out, they be contracted out only to such companies that are socially and environmen­ tally responsible."

A motion'passed at the Feb. 21 Council, man­ dating SSMU to assist student groups making bids on campus food service operations. The following meeting, the Operations Committee was required to prioritize viable student initiatives. Moreover, this past spring referenda period saw another motion come forward, prohibiting SSMU from taking actions that endanger the existence of clubs and services as a whole.

The difficulty in balancing these mandates has been amplified by the many ways in which the Con­ stitution can be interpreted. The preamble states that the purpose of SSMU is to "serve as an umbrella or­ ganization to coordinate and support the student groups that make up civic life in the McGill commu­ nity", and also "act in the best interest of its member­ ship as a whole”.

“I know we have a GA mandate to prioritize stu­ dent endeavours," said Vice-President Finance and Operations Imad Barake, “but I'm also mandated to maintain the financial stability of the Society."

Conservative estimates peg the total cost of a third student-run operation under SSMU at just over $200,000, which would have to be taken from other areas of the budget. Including losses projected for Haven Books, this could lead to $300,000 in costs for the Society. Given that the clubs and services compo­ nent has already been reduced to $24,000 for clubs and $12,000 for non-fee services, other areas of SSMU would have to deal with increased cost cuts.

While there is a $1 fee in place to improve student space, this would only cover about $38,000 of the total costs and can only fund building renovations.

An additional $38,000 is available from the Green

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fee, however locking this into a potential third opera­ tion would prevent its use anywhere else by the So­ ciety.

Alexandra Swann, president of the Debating Union, highlighted a two-fold concern with a student initiative taking over the space.

"First, we need to take into serious consideration of the loss of commercial rent collected in the space, in addition to the costs of running the facility. Second­ ly, I'm extremely sceptical about the ability of students running a profitable food service."

However, others pointed to the overwhelming number of motions passed supporting student-run initiatives.

"The Shatner Building is for students, in that stu­ dents have voted to prioritize student space in the upcoming years," said Sarah Woolf, Uo arts and next year's arts representative to Council. "As well as the fact that these motions have passed with wide sup­ port. "Overwhelmingly, there's a demand for more projects like Midnight Kitchen that benefit McGill stu­ dents. Not just in terms of giving jobs to students, but also it tends to be cheaper.”

The only other area that could be cut to com­ pensate for these lost funds would be governance. VP External Max Silverman expressed concern with cut­ ting here, given SSMU's lack of representation on both the provincial and federal fronts.

"It would be problematic, now that we're inde­ pendent we're entirely self dependent both in our abilities to travel and lobbying efforts," he said. "I have had the rare opportunity to be on an executive that was rolling with money last year, and this year it is much tighter.”

Nevertheless, Silverman is looking at the student body's reaction as a component of his decision.

"There are two competing student demands," he said. "The number one reason [to support this] is that students very much want a student-run operation in there. That all said there are many students who are equally wary of an additional operation."

Advocates of student occupation pointed to­ ward the numerous motions passed at Council and General Assemblies.

In a document released to the public from the Operations Committee regarding their recommenda­ tion for Room 103, it was highlighted that the decision ultimately comes down to how the numerous man­ dates are prioritized. It says: "It is a decision of great financial ramifications, and Council needs to decide whether another operation takes precedence over the other commitments of the SSMU."*

Grab Ready M arch /Septem ber A dm ission email: E a s y M e d S c h o o l@ y a h o o . c o m w w w .A m e r ic a n D r e a m A b r o a d .c o m Call for application now:

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The McGill Tribune

6 • News • 08.04.08

CAM PUS

News Brief Locker break-ins spread across campus Students storing their possessions in lockers have continued to be plagued with problems of break-ins and thefts, with hits occurring through­ out the semester in nearly all faculties. Last week, engineering, management and arts have all been hit recently, but few details have been gathered about the incidents, including information on break-ins in the Bronfman Building last Monday.

According to the management undergraduate society, between 30 and 50 lockers were broken into and it is believed that the thefts occurred in broad daylight.

Similar events happened to students in the faculty of arts throughout the course of the semester. "February was the first time it happened, and since then there have been four separate incidents," said Arts Undergraduate Society Vice President Communications Liz McLaughlin.

Like arts, this problem has been a recurring issue for the engineering fac­ ulty, who has also experienced break-ins throughout the academic year.

"There isn't really much we can do," said Engineering Undergraduate Soci­ ety Vice-President Services Teresa Lee. "We've talked to building management and security, and so far they haven't really been cooperative."

Lee explained that while it is necessary to have a student ID card to access one of the doors to the lockers, there is also a back door that could have been left open or broken into.

AUS has been in meetings with both the faculty and McGill security ser­ vices. "They have made a report recommending a total of four security cam­ eras and other measures that could make the basement area more secure," explained McLaughlin.

McGill security services could provide few additional details, but reassured that action was being taken and an investigation is under way.

— Tiffany Choy

The news team extends its utmost thanks to all the contributors from this past year. There is no way that we could have put together our sec­ tion without all of you. We would also like to wish next year's news editors, James Gilman and Theo Meyer, all the best. We know you'll do a great job!

Hats off to: Kayvon Afshari, Nasser Al-Shawwa, Omar Balaa, Emily Barca, Ines Beatrix, Matt Campbell, Arvind Eyunni, Lena Gayraud, James Gil­ man,Traci Johnson, Graeme Kempthorne, Christie Lee, Alii Maclsaac, Kristin Maich, Kate Mattocks,Theo Meyer, Salvatore Mottillo, Marine Moulin, Nancy Pham, Kun Sun, Stephanie Tombari, Isabel Valenta, Karenna Williams, Ali Withers, Sarah Xu, Trip Yang.

Close result in SUS elections Issar edges out Gjerde for president T homas Q

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Next year's Science Undergraduate Society executive results were announced last Thursday with SUS represen­ tative to Council Neil Issar winning the presidency by one of the closest margins in recent student election history.

With 49.5 per cent of the electorate, Issar edged out Harald Gjerde by 30 votes.

Issar commented on what may have been the differ­ entiating factor that garnered him those crucial votes. ”1think it's important to make an appearance with every type of student and not to solely focus on the large 1st and 2nd year classes,” Issar said. "I ensured that I made it to third-year biochemistry and physiology classes for ex­ ample."

In other races, Ayman Ashraf won the Vice-President Academic position with 34.2 per cent of the popular vote by another close margin of 29 votes. Marilyn Spencer won the VP Communications position with 68.3 per cent and a larger margin of 326 votes. Gloria To, Raisa Mirza and Flora Golyardi were elected as the SUS representatives to coun­ cil for next year. ’ Incumbent SUS President Spencer Ng was positive about the new executive and stated that he thought Issar was more than capable for the job.

"I only have optimistic views about what will happen next year," Ng said. "Neil has never given me a reason to doubt him, he is a very resourceful individual."

The transition period— from now until May 1st— will be crucial for next year's SUS executive as there are no returning members from the incumbent executive. Issar stated that he would be working closely with SUS Presi­ dent Spencer Ng and VP Internal Hussein Jaffer to ensure that this transition of power is a smooth one. ”1 have good working relations with the incumbent executive. I don't foresee there being any problems in the

transition period," Issar said.

Ng acknowledged that it may work in the executive's best interest being entirely new to the job.

"I think it may be an advantage for them coming not having that much experience," Ng said. "They'll work hard­ er to reach their goals especially since they don't know what they're getting into."

One of Issar's campaign initiatives was to increase collaboration between other faculties and SUS. He has

"I only have optim istic views ab ou t w h at w ill happen next year... Neil has never given m e a reason to d o u b t him, he is a very resourceful individual."

— Spencer Ng, outgoing SUS president started to meet with executives from other faculties to talk through some of his ideas. " I've already had a meeting with some of the other in­ coming and outgoing academics and presidents of other faculties about ancillary fees," Issar said. "I'm in the process of meeting with Nick Wolf and Chantalle Brace, the AUS and BASiC presidents about potential collaboration."

AUS President Nick Wolf was excited about the prop­ osition of collaborating with SUS in events. Talks between the faculties are on a conversational level at best, pres­ ently.

"I've already briefly spoken with Neil Issar entertain­ ing the idea of collaborating on a united red and white," Wolf said. "We're really looking forward to working with SUS."»

-Tom, Ken and Vincci

SPEA K ERS O N C A M P U S

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Saideman illuminates realities of ethnic friction Says actual conflict between races is rare S ean W o o d

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Professor Steve Saideman gave an overview of his work in ethnic conflict to an audience of students in a presentation by In Their Shoes, a Montreal organization which educates high-school and university students about global problems such as genocide and poverty.

Saideman, the Canada Research Chair in Interna­ tional Security and Ethnic Conflict, said that ethnic con­ flict is relatively rare in the modern world.

"What we see in the news is people hating each other and fighting each other all the time, but that's be­ cause you don't have cameras in all those places where people are just hanging out," he said. "You don't see the media covering places where people are shaking hands, where they're drinking together, where they're intermar­ rying."

He said that when ethnic conflict does occur, it is often provoked by other societal rifts, like poverty and political injustice.

“With what's happening in Kenya right now, with what just happened in Kosovo, it's important for the Montreal community to take a look,”said Ophelie Lechat,

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CEGEP JOHN ABBOTT COLLEGE ADAM SCOTTI Saidem an w alks in the shoes o f co n flictin g nations.

an In Their Shoes member and University of Montreal student.

Saideman said that in the end, ethnic violence is solved by the equation "Democracy + Wealth = Peace."

He used the example of the Quebec separatist move­ ment, saying that it never became overtly violent be­ cause the Quebec population was allowed a democratic outlet for their frustrations. On the other hand, when eth­ nic conflict does occur, it is often provoked by corrupt politicians and an insecure population.

"Because I've worked in three different political sci­ ence departments, Vermont, Texas Tech and McGill, I've developed this belief not only about political depart­ ments but about societies: in any society... somewhere between 10 to 25 per cent of the population is going to be either evil, insane or criminally stupid," he said Saideman described how countries go about resolv­ ing ethnic friction, stating that successful interventions offered the best chance for lasting peace, but the high­ est chance for mass killings. He condemned partitions, citing the separation of India and Pakistan as a failed so­ lution and said that security guarantees from interven­ tion are questionable.

For political solutions to ethnic conflict, Saideman praised the model of his home United States, where it is impossible for a politician to say something racist and win an election.

Saideman ended his talk by offering some examples to counter popular feelings about ethnic war. The first was that ancient sources of animosity, such as those be­ tween Muslims and Jews, should not be dismissed as ir­ reparable. He also cited a decrease in ethnic conflict since the collapse of the Soviet Union.

Some audience members found Saideman's com­ ments interesting, but too general.

"I thought it was a good overview, but it wasn't pointed in any way,"said Anand Sundararajan, U1 finance and accounting. “It didn't address any specific issue, but it definitely offered some monsters." ■

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sp eed Executors, of a 71-year-old German man's will who recently died found his two-story home stuffed to the rafters with weap­ ons and other war parapher­ nalia. Among the items found were 71 guns— one for each year of his life— 41 cases of ammuni­ tion and five walking sticks fitted with retractable blades. Neigh­ bours complained that the man has received up to 14 deliveries of goods per day and would sometimes sleep in a hotel just because he was running out of room in his house. • A tiger in a north-eastern Chinese zoo has eaten a man. Zhang Yachun, who was mentally ill, disappeared from his Harbin home on March 24 and his parents were told by police five days later that he had been devoured by the tiger after entering the beast's cage.

Zhang's parents said that he “es­ pecially loved tigers."» A group of nine third-grade students at Center Elementary School in Georgia had come up with an elaborate scheme to injure their teacher before being caught last Friday. The students, most of whom were only nine years old, brought a . broken steak knife, handcuffs, electrical tape and a paperweight to school in a plot that involved handcuffing the teacher, putting tape over her mouth and beating her over the head with the paperweight and possibly cutting her. Fortunately, the students were caught be­ fore the plan could be executed; all were disciplined and some were given long-term suspen­ sions. Waycross police are also planning to charge three of the children in juvenile court with conspiracy to commit aggravat­ ed assault and possession of a weapon on a school property. • A transgendered man from Bend, Oregon may become the first "legally male" person to give birth. Thomas Beatie is fivemonths pregnant with a baby girl. A former Hawaiian beauty queen, Beatie underwent a sexual reassignment ten years ago, where he had his breasts reduced and took a regimen of male hormones. However, he kept his reproductive organs in­ tact because he "wanted to have a child one day," and stopped testosterone treatments two years ago. His wife, Nancy, who is infertile, inseminated him with a syringe filled with sperm pur­ chased from a bank. The baby is due in July. • A bloody scene in an Illinois railcar turned out to be nothing more than spilled condiments. The thief was no doubt looking for meat or liquor but found only ketchup instead.

Taking his frustration out on the red stuff, the thief squirted it about the car.

Sources: Associated Press, Reuters, Washington Post, Yahoo, com

2008 CGA M

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S tu d e n t e v e n t o f th e y e a r!

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On February 21, the reception hosted by Virginie Coossa was a resounding success!

Approximately 400 students, CGAs and FCGAs attended the event.

Board Chairman Pierre Samson, FCGA, marked the Ordre’s 100th anniversary and welcomed the new public accounting legisla­ tion authorizing CG As to conduct audits of both private and public companies.

Under an agreement recently signed with the Ordre, the University of Sherbrooke will begin offering an online version of the Professional Expertise Program (PEP) in Fall 2 0 0 8 .

The Ordre thanks the 2008 C G A Mega Cocktail event partners

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The McGill Tribune

8 • News • 08.04.08

PHOTOS BYSARAYOUSEFNEJAD

SSMU Exec Report Cards The Tribune evaluates our fearless leaders T h is y e a r's S S M U e x e c u tiv e fa c e d m a n y c h a lle n g e s , fr o m lo w G e n e ra l A s s e m b ly t u r n o u t a n d im ­ p e a c h m e n t th re a ts t o H a v e n B o o k s a n d c h o o s in g t e n a n ts f o r S h a tn e r. T h e T r ib u n e n e w s e d it o r s w e ig h s in o n t h e ir p e r fo r m a n c e o n t h e p a s t e ig h t m o n th s .

Jake Itzkowitz President Itzkowitz' presidency has been marked by intermittent successes and progress. Before last year, the SSMU execu­ tive had been a disorganized mass with uncoordinated political agendas. Despite a stormy start with the election scandal, early concerns about disunity and conflict within this year's SSMU executive were proven wrong and can be attributed to Itzkowitz's coordinating abilities. This year's executive has, in large part, provided a strong unified front to further their collective agenda.

Over the past year, Itzkowitz has grown more comfortable with his portfolio and has done well to embody his role as President. While he has not been particularly successful with some of his campaign plans, such as increasing SSMU's visibility with students, Itzkowitz has reaped the benefits of a strong working relationship with the administra­ tion. He protected the Architecture Café tooth and nail, and fought for the right of student groups to use the McGill name. Unfortunately, actions to engage the student population in SSMU politics or events have been unsuccessful as demonstrated by this semester's General Assembly, which failed to attain quorum. In spite of these small drawbacks, Itzkowitz was an impressive leader who was both eloquent at Council and politically savvy behind the scenes. Most importantly, Itzkowitz has set up an established working relationship with the administration wherein students now have a voice at the table.

Kay Turner VP Internal 'As the first ever Vice-President Internal, president-elect Kay Turner's time in office this past year begs the simple question: "What exactly does the VP Internal do?"With the smallest mandate, success in this portolio should have been a no-brainer. Turner secured her position based on the quality of her ideas, including greening frosh, revitalizing the SSMU Web site and making her position more political. Turner's deliverance was where she fell flat. Financial responsibilty was ignored in events like SnoAP, which recorded a loss, and the Faculty Olympics, which were cancelled after groups could not afford the sign­ ing fee. Unfortunately, Turner's most political move of the year came rather late, with her victory as next year's SSMU president, after months of sitting on Council without saying a word.

Max Silverman VP External ASilverman is arguably the only SSMU executive this year who delivered upon his campaign promises. He has put in the extra effort to work for free education, including ordering busses to take students to Quebec City for Feb­ ruary's Day of Action. In addition to dealing with tuition issues, Silverman has also made attempts to encourage students to reach out to the surrounding community, helping to create a neighbourhood guide that was distributed to students living in residence. Most recently, he collaborated with SEDE to host the Burst Your Bubble campaign, a week of events geared toward introduc­ ing students to community organizations and inviting members from the sur­ rounding neighbourhood to McGill.

The main snag in Silverman's performance this year has been the failed prospective membership in the Canadian Federation of Students, losing SSMU roughly 530,000, and his refusal to obtain provincial or federal representation for the university. However, he has been working hard with other students' associations to draw attention to the free tuition debate, even though student apathy has often won out despite his best efforts.

www.mcgilltribune.com

08.04.08 • News • 9

Adrian Angus VP University Affairs B+ While Angus's ambition as a politician is unquestionable, he has hardly been able to produce the improvements to academic life that he based his campaign around. Improvements in advising have been relatively insignificant and it is uncertain what sort of role Angus played in improving libraries and keeping them open longer this year.

Despite failing to deliver on his two main campaign platforms, Angus has had successes as a leader for his senate caucus in coordinating and publicizing the progress of his student senators. While most of these meetings have been held behind closed doors, it is almost certain that his understanding of McGill's intricate administrative and governing system have proven especially useful at the negotiating table. In addition, Angus has seemingly established strong ties with prominent members of the administration, which, in addition to helping improve relations between SSMU and the administration, will give incoming VP UA Nadya Wilkinson an edge in September that Angus never had.

However, his lack of transparency and disdain for the student body is not something that should be taken lightly and is emblematic of larger problems within the SSMU bureaucracy.

Marcelle Kosman VP Clubs & Services C+ Overall, Kosman seems to have been over­ whelmed by the demands of the C&S portfolio.

Although she ran on a platform of increased availability, promising to check e-mails every

day, she made the decision early in the year not to return voicemail messages and replies to e-mails have been sluggish. Kosman was not a strong or assertive presence on campus and it is no wonder that she would be "overlooked" when outside parties chose to deal with clubs and services di­ rectly. Kosman's handling of the 'special status' for post­ graduate students has been unprofessional at best. Kos­ man should have been open to negotiations rather than instructing clubs and ser­ vices to ignore requests for usage statistics and officially striking the special status ar­ ticle from the by-laws.

Because of her inabil­ ity to handle these issues that have come up over the course of the year, there have been no tangible results on her campaign promise to make SSMU services more Francophone-friendly other than the abolishment of the Francophone Student Cen­ tre and the hiring of SSMU translators. However, the re­ cent opening of the bike col­ lective should be applauded as part of Kosman's commit­ ment to make SSMU more environmentally-friendly.

The Tribune acknowledges that the C&S portfolio is one of the most dense, but with Kosman's potential, we ex­ pected more.

Imad Barake VP Finance & Operations B In our mid-term re­ port cards, the Tribune remarked that outgoing VP Finance Imad Barake had been thrust into a "seemingly endless string of damage control," with regard to last year's in­ vestment in Haven Books.

Financially, nothing has changed with the book­ store since December and with projected losses in the tens of thousands, the bookstore has taken money away from improv­ ing student life on campus and has called the Students' Society's commitment to clubs and services into question. That being said, Barake has laid the foun­ dation— however shaky it may be— for the financial longevity of the operation with his long-term busi­ ness model. Ultimately, we feel that Barake's ten­ ure should not be defined wholly by the bookstore.

As he said he would en­ sure, Gert's started to turn a significant profit since December. Events imple­ mented by Barake, like Jazz Mondays, TNT Thurs­ days and a Super Tuesday event, have piqued stu­ dent interest in the bar. Although his attitude at Council remained half-hearted throughout the

year, Barake's success with his portfolio is con­ siderable although it does not balance out his utter boredom and disdain for Council.

Council

c+

After a sluggish first semester, this year's SSMU Council has ultimately failed to legislate anything substantial. Overall, there have been few major motions presented, and debates at Council, for the most part, have degener­ ated into talks concerning punitive action for councillors who failed to attend, arguments about the executives' late reports and how many hours the executives should spend with

a club or service as punishment for their tar­ diness. Councillors consistently complained about late executive reports and with not having enough time to read them although they seemed always willing to waste time to debate the minutiae.

Surprisingly, while the motion presented by the SSMU executive resolving to make the Tribune independent at their last meeting was

underhanded and malicious in spirit, it was also one of the few influential motions pre­ sented this year. For the first time this semes­ ter, councillors on both sides of the argument made viable attempts at conducting produc­ tive discourse. While it is apparent that coun­ cillors are fully capable of creating and insti­ tuting significant changes in their tenure, this year's Council has become a body of reactive

student representatives that only rise to the occasion when the executives carry them.

We would have liked to have seen coun­ cillors take a more pro-active role in council by presenting their own personal motions, but we must also applaud them for showing up to council on a more consistent basis than in years past.

O

p in io n

Letters to the editor

Y O U H A D A N O P T IO N , SIR

I had an option, sirs T imothy M ak T imothy .m ak @ m ail .m cg ill .ca never expected to be a Conservative.

Hell, I never expected to be interest­ ed in politics at all. I remember joking with young socialists in my high school classes about the upcoming teachers strike. “The revolution is nigh," I said, sit­ ting on the weathered school bus seats; Of course, we all agreed, nodding en­ thusiastically though none of us were quite sure what the revolution entailed or what the consequences would be.

Encouraged by my history teacher, we dreamt of a much-improved society. It seemed to make so much sense. Pov­ erty? Give these people a home! Dis­ ease? Better hospitals ought to do it!

Economics? Let's ignore it and build a better world!

These ideas— born out of what I now consider ignorance of the facts of life— find little place for refuge in my thoughts today. My foray into social­ ism, if it can even be called that, was over before I really thought it through.

Now I find myself among the ranks of those who seek to better Canada in a way that, upon first glance, seems coldhearted or mean-spirited. In contrast to the idealism of my younger self, my views seem counter-intuitive. Poverty?

Cut social programs and let the market work! Disease? Insert elements of the price mechanism! Economics? Abso­ lutely crucial, something, that one ig­ nores to one's own peril!

This mode of thought didn't ini­ tially seem to make sense— and was vulnerable to attacks of opportunism.

I, of course, eat children on a regular basis and have no sympathy for those who find themselves starving on the street. As such, few will ever conscious­ ly identify themselves as conservatives.

Conservative has become a dirty word in Main Street lexicon, and particularly

I

among the younger generation. I sup­ pose students these days dream big dreams, see evil and seek to remedy it immediately. This has been the stereo­ type of the university student for some time, grasping wildly at the whisper­ ing threads of idealism hanging from above. Somehow I have rejected this in favour of another means for change, in favour of conservatism.

There's no idealism in the core of conservative thought. It's more than a pithy line when one considers the oft-quoted Thatcherism that "the facts of life are conservative". We're grim, re­ alistic and don't hope for much—just rational, processed thinking and in­ cremental change. Individuals should be able to seize their own destinies and put their own natural capacity for greatness to work for themselves. Ah, if only the pools of our potential were not muddied needlessly by reckless and cumbersome government regulation.

Fundamentally, we dream not of great­ ness of government, but greatness in ourselves. In the conservative move­ ment, our visions differ wildly. Conser­ vatives don't focus on the potential power of the state, but on the potential power of each person.

In my columns this year I have tried to articulate these ideas, to show how there might be other solutions to the problems that confront society today.

We must consider the costs of gov­ ernment intervention and determine whether negative results arise from too much government action. What is the appropriate balance between individu­ al liberty and government intervention?

It's up to each person to determine the answer based on their values. I hope that you've seen my point: that most of the time, freedom matters more.*

Didn't he write the Wealth o f Nations'!

Now that I’m out in the real world, I have tried to avoid paying too much attention to the goings-on back at McGill. However, the recent Council motion forcing independence on theTribune was too much and I felt that I had to come out of retirement to ex­ coriate the Students'Society one last time. It is not whether or not theTribune should be independent that I take issue with, but the behaviour of the SSMU executives and Council, which I believe is unprofes­ sional and unacceptable no matter which side of the debate one falls on. Either way, both theTribune and Council should have been given more time to pre­ pare for a debate on such an important issue.

In 2006-07, former Vice President Clubs & Ser­ vices Floh Herra-Vega established theTribune-SSMU Parity Committee, which worked on a number of issues to improve the Tribune. These included, amongst other things, establishing the Tribune Board of Directors. The Board was meant to improve governance at theTribune by making it both more accessible and transparent. Whereas most matters had previously been dealt with solely by theTribune Editor-in-Chief and SSMU execs, the Board of Direc­ tors would have allowed other Tribune staff and students at large to be more involved in running the paper and given all stakeholders input into the deci­ sion-making process.

This would have seemed to be the ideal forum to raise the issue of making theTribune independent, yet the Board of Directors was not consulted. Neither was anyone else, for that matter. Why not? The only answer can be the SSMU executives' hubris and un­ derhandness, and for this they should be ashamed.

Mature, rational and reasonable people would have brought the issue up early in the year and worked with both the Tribune and students at large to re­ solve any problems that they perceived. Instead, the executives carried on with their plans in secret and unleashed them without prior announcement at the second-last Council meeting of the year.

Although Council deserves a modicum of praise for allowing a real debate to take place on the issue and for making certain modifications before passing the motion, it would still have been more appropriate to take more time to study the issue be­ fore making a decision.

However, I reserve the vast majority of my ire for the SSMU executive committee. To bring a mo­ tion forcing independence in very short order— one semester is simply not enough— on the Society's newspaper, a SSMU institution for 27 years, with no warning and little debate is disgraceful.

— Adam Smith, BA'07 McGill Tribune Opinion Editor 2006-07

A blast from the past It was with some dismay, though not much surprise, that I read stories in both the Daily and the Tribune about the recentTrib Independence debate at SSMU Council.The executive did an admirable job upholding SSMU's recent tradition of simply walking away from a relationship when things aren't working out (as they did with CASA, FEUQ, and CFS), instead of sitting down and working towards solutions. Jake Itzkowitz and the rest of the SSMU executive sug­ gest that SSMU and the Trib been having the "How's our relationship" talk for the past two years, and now it's time to go our separate ways. If that's true, then members of the exec have been spending a lot of time on the couch talking to themselves, or at the very least not listening.

Last year a committee of Tribune and Council representatives specifically examined the relation­ ship between the Society and the paper.They spent many meetings hammering out compromises and bylaw amendments that saw much of the dysfunc­ tional Media Board scrapped, a board of directors created to oversee the hiring of the Editor in Chief, and a new complaints resolution process brought in.

Throughout the semester-long series of discussions, the committee never considered divorce. It's unfor­ tunate that the changes that were agreed to in the committee, and approved by a Council that four of the six current executives were members of, weren't given time to work themselves out. Instead, tired arguments about liability and costs were brought back to justify the expulsion of the paper from the Society.

That being said, the move toward indepen­ dence is probably for the best, though I hope that both sides work to a solution in good faith. SSMU should not use this opportunity to gouge the Trib for rent or other money. The fact that the Society charg­ es the Daily rent for their basement office is similarly misguided, and demonstrates an unfortunate focus from Society management on the bottom line, in­ stead of on students' best interests. If SSMU feels that it needs more money to operate its building that houses student clubs and services for the ben­ efit of students, it should have the balls to make its case directly, and not force student publications and other services that have offices in the Shatner build­ ing to jack up their fees.The SSMU base fee is already indexed to inflation, and according to the Society's financial statements, it has run an extremely large surplus for the past several years. Where does all this money go? Now that theTribune is going indepen­ dent, its staff should waste no time in getting to the bottom of that.

—James Gotowiec B.A. &Sc. '07 McGill Tribune Editor-in-Chief 2006-2007

LETTERS C O N T IN U E D O N P A G E 1 0

T H E D E V IL 'S A D V O C A T E

Blu-ray is a grade-A scam B en L emieux BENLEMIEUX@GMAIL.COM

ast week the Montreal Gazette printed an article about the recent, surging notoriety of the blu-ray disc. The blue-violet laser which the technology is named after uses a shorter wavelength and thus allows each disc to have greater storage capacity, perhaps 5-6 times that of a regular DVD. Throw in the latest compression schemes and a bet­ ter quality disc polymer and you’ve got yourself the zenith of high-definition movie-viewing. Apparently, 70 per cent of Canadians today are aware of blu-ray and its prodigal nature, which is about 68 per cent higher than five years ago. Having won the format war over HD DVD, sometechnology reporters are proclaiming that blu-ray discs will be the industry stan­ dard five years from now.

The increasing prevalence of blu-ray in the home en­ tertainment market is no doubt good news for film gluttons.

Finally, picture and sound quality commensurate with a 52" plasma TV screen and the appropriate surround sound pack­ age! It would be a dream come-true, had Sony and Co. not pitched the same cash-hungry techno babble a very short time ago.

Less than a decade ago, and much to their chagrin, movie afficionados boxed up their soon-to-be obsolete VHS tapes indefinitely to create shelf space for the latest, intensely

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hyped technology: the digital video disc. Contrary to the flim­ sy, erasable, deteriorating analogue technology, digital infor­ mation was sharper and altogether sexier: interactive menus, multiple sound and subtitle options on a single disc, bonus features, better sound and picture quality, the works.

But therein lies the conundrum: if DVD technology (as we've repeatedly been told) is truly the bee's knees, then why are these discs going out the window faster than that 80s Hits! record your cousin gave you for Christmas? Why, after having invested years and a hefty chunk of capital into their Jean-Claude Van Oamme.collection (I shit y'all not), are people being forced to give up what they were told was the "must-have" technology?

Of course, money is the answer. But let's not harp on that. Everyone knows that without a considerable profit mar­ gin, movies would not get made. This column wasn't meant to decry the profit-driven nature of media conglomerates like Sony. That's just capitalism.This column is a call to arms. If you don't join 'em, you beat 'em. Simple as that.

What 70 per cent of Canadians may not know is that Sony and co. have tried and failed with similar"upgrades"fair­ ly recently. Consider, for example, the unequivocal failure of Super-Audio CDs. Launched in 1999 by Sony and Philips Elec­

tronics, SACDs were introduced in the same fashion as blurays: a crisper, sharper, high-functioning disc to eclipse the comparatively Neolithic CDs we had been amassing for years.Instead of becoming the industry norm, however, SACDs (and DVD-Audio, a similar, competing technology launched simultaneously) floundered. The audible difference between CDs and SACDs was insufficient for the average consumer to invest in a new sound system and the 20-40 per cent increase in cost that the SACD lifestyle carried with it.

The shift from VHS to DVD was comprehensible, given that it entailed a new, revolutionary medium. The shift from DVD to blu-ray— nothing more than a glamourized, juicedup version of the technology we’ve been using for the past eight or nine years— is stupid and pointless, and it must be stopped. Currently, an estimated 530 titles are available on blu-ray, so let's make sure not to buy them. Over 5,000 SACD titles were printed, and the technology still failed; why not treat that number as a watermark? If consumers continue to purchase DVDs as fervently as they have in the past five years and treat blu-ray discs as the superfluous, bourgeois commodity that they are, Sony may learn a new and valuable lesson in humility— one that may earn us ten more years of undisturbed, perfectly enjoyable movie viewing. ■

www.mcgilltribune.com

08.04.08 • The McGill Tribune • 11

T IN T E D G L A S S E S

VOX POPULI

Play that punk-y music, white boy It at at iZmrAii K G ibson

KAPPALETTA@HOTMAIL.COM

et's compare the following lyrics: "God Save the Queen / In her Fascist Regime" versus "I'm just a kid and life is a night­ mare / I'm just a kid, I know that it's not fair".

Both lyrics come from groups that have been called "punk" at one time or another, but the genre this label describes has undergone such a radical transformation that any suggestion of sustained influence is laughable. Instead of Johnny Rotten's diatribes against the authori­ ties, we have the Madden brothers of Good Charlotte fame complaining about how hard life is for middle class white kids in suburban America. Where Joe Strummer raged against the"clampdown", Pierre Bouvier of Simple Plan whines about being "a dick; addicted" to some teeny-bopper.

And it's not just punk rock. A comparison of the popular music of 30 or 40 years ago with what sells big today compels the immedi­ ate recognition that somewhere politics and popular music had a messy divorce. Where is our Bob Dylan singing an-updated "Masters of War"? Who is going to perform "The Unknown Soldier" now that Jim Morrison is dead? I'd even celebrate another unwashed Summer of Love if it meant the mass mobilization of today's overwhelmingly apathetic youth. Why is it that our parents'generation loved protest music and we go for pretentious hipsters sing­ ing about how no one understands them?

It doesn't make sense. We are more edu­ cated, more multi-cultural and more overtly accepting than any generation before us.

Shouldn't this make it harder for us to ignore worldwide injustice or dissociate ourselves from the suffering of those we no longer view as radically other? Instead, as our taste in music indicates, we have become increasingly apa­ thetic. What's changed since the 60s to create this near vacuum of political activism?

For one thing, the Baby Boomers were the first generation of young people to be a major economic power in the West. There

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were tons of them, they had money and they were expected to be adults. This combination of sensibility, economic force and youthful op­ timism made them feel powerful, and so they showed up in hordes to protest perceived in­ justice, marching to a soundtrack of explicitly political music.

But the hippies grew up. They became disillusioned, they put away their tambourines and they raised us.

Perhaps it's due to the constant onslaught of threatening messages we receive, but our generation seems increasingly insular and self-obsessed. We're told we have cancer, STI's, depression, or erectile dysfunction. Whether the world ends when the ice-caps melt or in nuclear war, it will end soon and it will be our fault. This may explain our lack of political ac­ tivism— we can't change the outside so we turn inwards and our music reflects this selffetishization. Instead of singing about the ex­ ternal political world, we sing about our appar­ ently complex interiors. The authority figures we reject through song are not monarchs and presidents, but mothers and fathers, teachers and romantic partners. This is not to say that none of our music is overtly political (although a great deal that is isn't popular) or that none of us are involved in legitimate protest, but our generation has yet to be mobilized towards any unified political purpose.

Perhaps the days of unified purpose are gone, vanished along with the tendency to paint world conflicts in terms of absolute right or wrong. We live in a world of moral relativism and political grey areas, and the fear of over­ simplification often hinders our capacity for uncomplicated indignation. Still, I would defi­ nitely take "Never servin 'em well, 'cause I'm an un-Tom / It's no secret at all /Cause I'm louder than a bomb over I am, whatever you say I am / If I wasn't, then why would I say I am"— and I can't help but wish we had a little more Strum­ mer and a lot less Madden. ■

Words matter A ndrew B urt A ndrew .B urt @ m ail .m cg ill .ca wanted to write an American election col­ "can say with any certainty to anybody that umn, but I'm not going to. I wanted to ex­ the weapons might not be used against our plore Hilary's claims of experience, Obama's troops or against allies in the region?” message of hope and McCain's plans for Or take Hilary Clinton, echoing Kerry two American foreign policy. But most of us have days after his speech. "It is clear," she declared, heard all of that. So let's turn back the clock to "that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will the forgotten days of six years past. continue to increase his capacity to wage The U.S. had just invaded Afghanistan, biological and chemical warfare, and will keep patriotic energy swept the nation and all trying to develop nuclear weapons." seemed well with the war on terror. Few in And who can blame any of them: NBC, the media or the public questioned the Bush the Post, CNN, Kerry or Clinton? Anything less administration. In a climate of intense fear and would have seemed unpatriotic, given the po­ patriotic fervor, scepticism seemed all but un­ litical climate. patriotic.

Which makes the following words all the Take, for example, former talk-show host more powerful.

Phil Donahue. Almost three weeks before the "I know that even a successful war against March 2003 invasion of Iraq, Donahue's topIraq will require a U.S. occupation of undeter­ rated show was cancelled for giving voice to mined length, at undetermined cost, with "guests who are anti-war, anti-Bush and skep­ undetermined consequences. I know that an tical of the administration's motives," accord­ invasion of Iraq without any clear rationale ing to an internal NBC memo. and without strong international support will And who could blame NBC? Donahue's only fan the flames of the Middle East, and en­ outspokenness presented "a difficult public courage the worst, rather than best, impulses face for NBC in a time of war," and NBC's deci­ of the Arab world, and strengthen the recruit­ sion was understandable, given the political ment arm of al-Qaeda." climate.

These are the words of Barack Obama, Take, for another example, newspapers now an American presidential hopeful, then like the Washington Post. From August 2002 a state senator from Illinois, expressing a until the invasion began in March 2003, nearly sentiment most politicians considered to be 140 front-page pieces made the administra­ political suicide. It was October 2002, a week tion's case for war.The editors relegated pieces before Kerry and Clinton were to give pro-war sceptical of the war to the back pages, if they speeches of their own. were published at all. In that same timeframe, "I'm not opposed to all wars," he said. "I'm the Post published editorials in favor of the opposed to dumb wars." war a whopping 27 times.

The point is not that Obama was right, And who could blame the editors at the though he was, with frightening clairvoyance.

Post? Anything else would have seemed un­ The point is what he said, publicly and with patriotic, given the political climate. deep conviction, at a time when few others Or take former weapons inspector Scott matched his rhetoric but many shared his Ritter, an American an d a Republican to boot. views. The point is the political climate, the After publicly questioning the Bush adminis­ many who fell victim to it and the few who tration's justifications for war, Ritter was de­ did not.» scribed on CNN as "misguided," "disloyal,"and "an apologist for and defender of Saddam Hus­ Andrew Burt is a U3 linguistics and philoso­ sein". This was CNN, not the O'Reilly Factor. phy student and an accidental Tribune colum ­ Take a speech by John Kerry, five months nist. W ethankhim forfillingin, and we're sorry we before the invasion."Who among us," he.asked, insinuated that he reads The World is Flat.

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±40

jfl

Life, the university and everything D avid L evitz

■

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mi

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david . levitz @ m ail .m cgill . ca

lthough my dad is a mathematician, over the years he's learned that my brain magically turns off the moment he mentions anything involving numbers. Yet one thing he explained to me recently actually made sense: It is impos­ sible to measure the speed of an object at any exact moment.

Frozen in space-time on the freeway, your fancy bajillioncylinder car has no speed, no matter what the speedometer says— velocity only exists as it relates to relative changes in distance and time.

Applied to our lives this means that, even when things seem to be at a standstill, nothing is static. We sometimes feel like nothing in our lives ever changes, but if we look back to even a few years ago, the differences can be enormous. The conclusion to be drawn is that measuring change requires a more holistic outlook. After two semesters writing this col­ umn, I have many more opinions to express, but— this being my last column at the Tribune and the end of my studies here— it seems appropriate to take a step back and recon­ sider my McGill experience as a whole before moving on.

Like most McGill students I have a love/hate relationship with our university. Sometimes I tell myself that I go to Mc­ Gill to live in Montreal, but more often it feels the other way around. I've come to understand why university is called uni­ versity: for better or worse, it becomes one's entire universe. In many ways this has been a very stimulating universe to live in for the past few years, yet, there's something about this love/

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hate phenomenon that demands an explanation.

While we are all proud to be here, the feeling is not always mutual. There is an overwhelming sense at McGill that we are all just numbers, that the university, in its vast, cobweb-like administrative network, would prefer to have a research- and reputation-based university with no undergrads at all. This sentiment has unfortunately wormed its way into the psyche of the student community. One cause, in my case, is the ivory tower stance maintained by the faculty of arts. Though I don't think there should be a place at any university for the kind of practical instruction management gives on the ins and outs of exploiting people to make top dollar, there is something amiss about the idea that any kind of practical education, like journalism or visual arts, is unimportant and better left to Concordia. The department of English has threatened to cut its hands-on courses like theatre production and costuming (both of which are a godsend to those who thirst for creativ­ ity), and there is little interest in creating well-rounded stu­ dents, leaving one to believe that people don't matter here, just thoughts.

The feelings I've just mentioned will probably linger long after I leave. Fortunately there are some baby steps being taken toward making our university more human.The solidar­ ity students showed last semester in support of Architecture Café strengthened our sense of community in the face of an uncaring administration, and the new Cut the Red Tape

Contest represented a real attempt to address one obstacle to student happiness. If SSMU decides to support more stu­ dent-run food services, this will be another important piece of evidence that the university indeed belongs to its students.

Ironically, as Quebec's last beacon of Anglophone elitism, a new Quiet Revolution may be underway. As much as long trajectories such as this one can be spliced into countless mo­ ments, a carpe diem attitude will be necessary to effect long­ term change.

Still, we must remember that change for change's sake is not necessarily a good thing. For example, in my major field of study— art history— the ideological bent in many courses is so great, it might as well be called “visual feminism" at Mc­ Gill. Though I consider myself a feminist, I am worried that my nontraditional education may be outdated in ten years when the next dominant methodology takes hold. We can't be too quick to clamour for what's new just for newness's sake; to attest to this fact, the concrete architecture on the West side of campus— cutting-edge by mid-20,h century standards— is simply hideous by today's.

Although I can't quite wrap my head around space-time, one thing I do know is that it's all related. Progress is possible and, if our university is to make any genuine improvement, we have to extend our gaze beyond ourselves and take a long, hard look at the realities of the past, the present and the future. ■

The McGill Tribune

12 • The McGill Tribune • 08.04.08

Letters, cont.

VOX POPULI

"Student-run" fetishism A lexandra S wann ALEXANDRA.SWANN@GMAIL.COM am appalled by the blatant irresponsibility shown by some members of SSMU council. I am dumbfounded that they do not seem to learn their lesson. After the fiasco of Haven Books, that council would even be con­ sidering backing a similar venture astonishes me. I am in­ tensely skeptical about the viability of a student-run café in Shatner, and I'm going to give you four reasons why you should be as well.

First, we have no reason to assume that this would be better managed than Haven Books, as it would still be run by students who have little to no experience running an actual business.

Second, even with good management, we cannot make Gert's break even— and when poorly managed, we lose several thousand dollars.

Third, a food business is even more difficult to make financially feasible than something like Haven Books, be­ cause there's much more competition and significantly more inventory to purchase on a regular basis.

Finally, not only would SSMU probably be respon­ sible for paying any costs that couldn't be shouldered by the students running the business, they would also be losing the commercial rent from that space.

Let us pause and consider very carefully what we are doing. Again, at the end of the year when most students are busy with work and less likely to notice, our council is considering embarking upon a venture with serious fi­ nancial risk. Again, we have seen some rosy proposals put forward by well-intentioned individuals, similar to that of Haven Books. And again, we see that some members of council are moved more by rhetoric than reality. What I am suggesting is the worst case scenario, but given our record on student-run businesses and that we will still be incurring yearly losses from Haven Books, those who are interested in responsible governance should be

looking at the worst case scenario.

I am angered by the convenient manipulation of democratic principles by some members of council. The supporters of this motion claim some inviolable mandate as a result of the GA motion supporting student space.

What about the referendum question where 81 per cent of a much wider selection of the student body supported clubs and services on campus? If this risky venture ends up being as costly as Haven Books, what will happen to our budget then? There's not much left to take. Which portion of the budget is next? The Green Fund, for stu­ dents to submit independent environmental proposals?

The governance section, used to represent our interests to the university and to the provincial and federal govern­ ments? SSMU must be aware that the decision they make onThursday could affect the funding available for student projects and representation for decades to come. Just like the decision made two years ago about Haven Books had serious financial repercussions this year, when those re­ sponsible have long since left our community.

If members of council are interested in democracy, I suggest they re-read our Constitution and reflect upon the principles for which SSMU was founded. Principles like "serving as an umbrella organization to coordinate and support the student groups that make up civic life in the McGill community" or "acting as the official voice of the undergraduate and professional students of McGill".

I strongly support student-run activities on cam­ pus— but I support a variety of such activities, not risky investments that eat into the resources available for such groups to autonomously contribute to our civic commu­ nity. ■ Alexandra Swann is a U3 political science and environemntal studies student, and Debating Union president.

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 8 Dash-ed off a letter | As a former McGill student and a for| mer contributor to theTribune, it sad| dens me that SSMU is turning its back on the paper. To attempt to force the I Trib to go independent without even | making the editorial staff aware of I the situation until 48 hours before the | motion cleared is not only unfair and j rash, but juvenile and underhanded, j Just because the Trib's editorial staff I does not spew meaningless SSMU j propaganda does not mean they | should have potentially-crippling in| dependence motions waved in their j faces. The Trib editorial staff took a j very brave stand at SSMU Council last j week, and most did so even though j they won't be around to see the fruits I of their labour come next school year. ! Students do care about the Trib, and | the SSMU would be aware of that if I they weren't trying to cover their j asses all the time... but I digress...

Your pal, — Mallory Dash, B.A/07 SSMU has a few loose marbles IthinkthatSSMU haslosta lotofcredj ibility by trying to make decisions for | theTribune without informing them j beforehand. I support the Tribune

and think they should have a say in their future.

—Jorden Safer, U3 political science and philosophy SockitTau me Byron Tau's article ("Fighting NeoNazis with Crypto-fascism") and its sequelae are most interesting. I note that, historically, fascist regimes at­ tempt to control spoken and writ­ ten opinion contrary to the regime's real or perceived interests. Invariably, there are also constraints on reading or listening to such opinion, with se­ rious consequences for those who disobey— a corollary to the sound a felled tree makes out of earshot.

Which begs the question: Can one be chastised by an CHRC for reading or listening to an offensive comment, or by purposefully buying a book, or a magazine, or a newspaper containing material offensive to an individual or a group? Might that person be con­ sidered to some degree an accessory to the offense? If I were a Canadian citizen I would worry because I have read Mark Steyn's America Alone— more than once.

— Norton Rubenstein Richmond, VA

W E 'R E O U T O F S P A C E . G O T O M C G I L L T R I B U N E .

T O R E A D M O R E LETTER S A N D C O M M E N T S .

CO M

O FF THE BOARD C O R R E C T IO N

A note from the managing editors E lizabeth P erle & K ate S pirgen his has been a defining year for the Tribune, both internally and externally. Earlier in the year, we had the reoccurring question of French content come to a head and more recent­ ly, we changed our identity as a paper when the move to independence was forced upon us. This year also saw a number of changes to the editorial roster, which was one of the youngest and most ideologically opposed group of editors to date.

However, this year also produced some of the Tri­ bune's most provocative content.

The Tribune has been criticized on a num­ ber of occasions for issues ranging from content choices we made in the opinion section to the perceived ideological and political leanings of the paper. As senior editors and students with our own ideas and values, it goes without saying that we did not always agree with everything printed in our pages. However, we are unwavering in our conviction that the role of the press is a vehicle for

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any student to make themselves heard on campus.

This includes an unfaltering commitment to pub­ lish every voice that wants to be heard— even the unpopular ones.

Coming into our positions, the senior editorial team made a concerted effort to increase transpar­ ency in the office.This meant giving editors a larger say in the decisions made on behalf of theTribune at the highest levels, including involving them in the sometimes messy external 'politics' and inter­ nal policy decisions. This often made choices com­ plicated and contentious, and needless to say we did not always agree with the conclusions reached by the 21-person editorial board. Despite this, we still advocated every decision that was made on behalf ofthe board and we are proud to have been able to represent the concerns of the paper as a whole.

This year we were forced to define and rede­ fine the Tribune's role in the campus media, its re­

--ATTENTION :

sponsibility to students, its relationship with SSMU and its overall identity as a publication. If we've learned anything from our experiences, it is that the value of addressing these concerns should never be underestimated. In our eyes, the role of a campus paper such as theTribune is to act as a direct link from students to students. Both theTri­ bune and the Daily have their niches in the student population and neither should be ignored.

We are proud ofthe work that the editors did this year— section, design, photography, online and production. The fact that an inexperienced group of editors, writers and photographers pulled together not only to publish a paper every week, but also to have a hand in helping us to formulate and implement important and difficult decisions is commendable. It has been an eventful year and we'd like to thank these hardworking individuals as well as our readers for all of their continued sup­ port. ■

.

In a recent Off the Board ("Fighting neonazis with crypto­ fascism", 26.03.08), Richard Warman was inaccurately described as the plaintiff in 50 per cent of all human rights complaints. Further, he never filed a human rights complaint against David Icke, nor did the article intend to link his work to "crypto-fascism."

The Tribune apologizes for these errors.

-

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www.mcgilltribune.com

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08.04.08 • Opinion • 13

E D IT O R IA L

r t b it n e

You can't stand under my umbrella

www.mcgilltribune.com Editor-in-C hief Tiffany Choy

T iffany C hoy

editor@mcgilltribune.com

Managing Editors Elizabeth Perle Kate Spirgen seniored@mcgilltribune.com

Production Manager A ndrew Dathan Frankel production@mcgilltribune.com

News Editors T homas Quail Ken Sun VincciTsui news@mcgilltribune.com

O pinion Editor Byron C.Tau opinion@mcgilltribune.com

Features Editors Meghna Marjadi Carolyn Yates features@mcgilltribune.com

Arts & Entertainment Editors Ezra Glinter John Semley arts@mcgilltribune.com

Sports Editors Matt Chesser Aaron Sigal sports@mcgilltribune.com

Photo Editors Niki Hyde Sara Yousefnejad photo@mcgilltribune.com

Copy Editor C rystal Chan copy@mcgilltribune.com

O nline Editor Femi Kassim

hree years ago a schoolmate approached me, asking if I had any interest in journalism. Com­ ing from the corner of campus that is general­ ly isolated from all other faculties, it was an intrigu­ ing proposition to break free from Bronfman and to experience what else McGill had to offer. It was an opportunity to 'get involved', a message preached year after year.

The purpose of student government— in our case, the Students'Society of McGill University— is to facilitate this very type of engagement. The ob­ jective of SSMU is to be a central resource for stu­ dents, a focal point wherein student life may be enhanced. However, throughout my time with the Tribune, it has become apparent that the value of this body has been depreciating amongst the gen­ eral student population. At this rate, what will be its purpose in the next five years? Ten? Many claim that problems within student government are a result of the inherent apathetic tendencies of the student body. "Students just don't care”is the excuse oft heard as student politi­ cians reach the end of their term. It's an interesting proposition, but what is the source of this problem?

How is it that faculty associations like the Engineer­ ing Undergraduate Society or the Management Undergraduate Society are able to achieve much higher levels of involvement and success with their endeavours? Why are Blues Pub and Management 4 à 7's lucrative hot spots while Gert's can't break even?

The answer is quite simple. Student govern­ ment exists to service a single market: students.

Faculty associations have an understanding of this

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Thanks to everyone who contributed this year to opinion— and a special thanks to Tim Mak, J.F. Kostuck, Ben Lemieux, David Levitz, Andrew Burt and Kat Gibson.

— Byron C. Tau

market, creating a sense of community that pro­ vides a rational and emotional appeal for under­ graduates to join in. While establishing a sense of community amongst 19,000 undergraduates is no easy feat, SSMU has no clear identity, no clear pur­ pose and no clear communal pull to bring students into the fold.

Rather than supporting the existing and suc­ cessful ventures established by students on cam­ pus as mandated by its governing Constitution and common sense, SSMU continuously tries to rein­ vent the wheel with new endeavours and personal pet projects.Take student-run operations. Between the perpetual red status of Gert's and the dramatic losses of Haven Books, many are vouching for the addition of a third student-run operation in the form of food service. While I am definitely in favour of students being involved in as many capacities as possible, the combination of dollars and sense just doesn't add up here.

A more viable and realistic option is to place full support and encouragement behind clubs, services and operations already established on campus. CopiEUS, AUS Snax, Dave's, Frostbite, Blues Pub, 4 à 7's— the list is endless. Yes, many of these are not directly affiliated with the Students' Soci­ ety, but as the overarching campus-wide umbrella organization, it wouldn't do any disservice to the purpose of student government. It would help cre­ ate the McGill student community through estab­ lished successful ventures, directly supporting the students they claim to represent.

This year marks an integral point in the Tri­ bune's history.The Executive Committee put forth a

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motion to force independence upon its own pub­ lication, citing reasons of a deteriorating relation­ ship. Despite the numerous inaccuracies of their claims and inabilities to understand just how little the Tribune actually costs them, one of the major claims highlighted for the motion was the concern of liability and us "having our cake while eating it too". At what point did SSMU become a bureaucrat­ ic overbearing organization that concerns itself first With liability and legalities and students second? At what point did it adopt the "McGill way"and an iron fist rather than approach situations in the collab­ orative and collegial way that student government claims to operate?

Over my three-year, 80 issue tenure at the Tri­ bune, it has been remarkable to see what achieve­ ments can be made by students getting involved without getting in over their heads. The 19 other editors and countless contributors have perse­ vered over the last 27 issues to continue breaking news, opinions, features, entertainment and sports, regardless of its standing in the political popularity ranks. None of this would have been possible with­ out them, and for that I'm very thankful.

Despite dramatic changes on the horizon for this publication, I am hopeful for the so-called breakup with SSMU. Not because we're getting out from our parent's basement (42 years faster than our big brother and sisterThe McGill Daily/Le Délit), but because any further association with a student government that left behind its core purpose and replaced it with self-breeding politicians can only impede on the future potential of the Tribune by those who get involved. ■

The McGill

1R1T5IINK

C A L L F O R C O LU M N IS T S Nobody cares what you think.

(Unless you're a Tribune opinion columnist)

Send three relevant writing samples, a resume and five future column ideas to editor@mcgilltribune.com by May 1,2008.

online@mcgilltribune.com

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O FF THE BOARD

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Contributors Andrew Burt, Steve Campbell, Jessica Dismont, Huge Galdones, Michelle Geeseman, Kat Gibson, James Gilman, Christopher Johnson, Jacob Kanter, Sophia Karwowski, Ben Lemieux, David Levitz, Kristin Maich, Timothy Mak, Janet McMullen,Theo Meyer, Matt Park, William Robinson, Adam Scotti, Renée Sutton, Alexandra Swann, Laura Tindal, Sean Wood, Trip Yang Tribune Offices E d ito ria l Shatner University Centre

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ow that graduation lurks around the corner, I can't help looking back on the last four years.

For the most part, they've been rough and fraught with difficulty— I even left McGill for a short time in 2006. But as my loan counsellors start to de­ mand repayment and my diploma is being printed, I can't help wondering what my time and money (and my parents money) has bought me. The only answer that I can come up with is,this ode to four years wasted on a shamefully mediocre education.

Last fall, I had the pleasure of catering the music faculty's convocation ceremony. In between pouring wine and serving canapés, I caught some of the remarks meant for students and parents.

"McGill's star is rising," one of the Deans insisted, quoting the Times Higher Education Supplements ranking of McGill as one of the top 25 universities in the world. Whatever mathematical algorithm of library volumes and research dollars the Times used, it certainly was not speaking to the average under­ graduate experience at this university.

In a shameful pyramid scam, undergraduate tuition dollars (particularly those of international students) pay a huge number of salaries at this university, while the majority of the university's re­ sources and energy go towards funding graduate students and showering honours undergraduates

N

with special treatment. Lost in a bureaucratic maze of nightmare advisors and unqualified doctoral stu­ dents, the average McGill co-ed is a neglected spe­ cies in an immense, darkjungle.

In the political science department, the small­ est non-honours undergraduate class in the winter of 2008 had 55 seats. In the fall of 2007, it was 59 seats. In my final year in the program, I have not had a single tenured faculty member as a professor, nor have I been able to register for a single smallgroup seminar. I hated the political science depart­ ment with such intensity that I actually had to pick another major. When I toured McGill, our studentguide showed off Leacock 132 and then insisted that upper-year classes got much smaller. She lied.

At no other university have I seen professors treat students so rudely and dismissively. I've had professors who refused to answer their office doors because it was not their official office hour— forget­ ting that my tuition pays their salary. I've had barely audible graduate students teaching upper-year lectures. I've had professors who blatantly violated faculty rules and stubbornly refused to change their wrongheaded policies until forced to do so by the department chair. I've had professors too wrapped up in their research to do anything besides give a rambling cursory lecture and then retreat into their

ivory towers. I've had advisors who were clueless about graduation requirements and advisors who don't answer their bloody e-mail, even when their appointment schedule is full. I've had TAs openly admit that the material is outside their field of study and that they were wrongly assigned classes.

I'm not an enemy of education. I'm an enemy of the factory model of education that McGill has perfected— churning out fresh-faced, rosy-cheekèd graduates by the bushel, without a second thought to improving the undergraduate experience be­ yond symbolic “Town Hall" meetings with the Prin­ cipal. Big universities do not need to be so heartless and anonymous.

In some mathematical fluke, McGill has found itself rated highly by education publications around; the world. But the truth is that this university has a long way to go. Perhaps some prospective student will read this, think twice and go somewhere else. If so, then I've done my duty.

At the same time, I recognize the sacrifices my parents made to give me this chance and I am genuinely grateful. There certainly have been ex­ ceptional and caring professors and TAs who have given me valuable insight and a wealth of knowl­ edge. But this university, on the whole, is a long, long way from where it should be, ■

' The McGill Tribune'\s an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the Students' Society of McGill University in collaboration with the Tribune Publication Society. Opinions expressed do not necessarily represent those of the Students' Society or McGill University Letters to the editor may be sent to letters@mcgilltribune.com and must include the contributor's name, program and year and contact information. Letters should be kept under 300 words and submitted only to the Tribune. Submissions judged by theTribune Publication Society to be libellous, sexist, racist, homophobic or solely promotional in nature will not be published. The Tribune reserves the right to edit all contributions.

Editorials are decided upon and written by the editorial board. All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the McGill Tribune, its editors or its staff. Please recycle this newspaper.

S

t u d e n t L iv in g Best of Black Sabbath Edible fig-newtons

po d

PEOPLE

FOOD FORTH O U G H T

Newsflash: Black Sabbath is the only band ever. Grab your Beatles and Arcade Fire CDs and convert'em to coasters, because they're useless. Here are probably the best songs by definitely the best band in the history of anything.

1. N.I.B. from Black Sabbath 2. Black Sabbath from Black Sabbath 3. The Wizard from Black Sabbath 4.

Paranoid from Paranoid 5. Hand of Doom from Paranoid 6. Children of the Grave from Master o f Reality 7.

Sweet Leaf from Master o f Reality 8.

Into the Void from Master o f Reality 9. Wheels of Confusion/The Straightener from Black Sabbath, Vol. 4 10. Supernaut from Black Sabbath, Vol. 4 11. Snowblind from Black Sabbath, Vol. 4 12. Killing Yourself to Live from Sabbath Bloody Sabbath 13. Sabbath Bloody Sabbath from Sabbath Bloody Sabbath 14. Hole in the Sky from Sabotage 15. Supertzar from Sabotage 16. Megalomaniac from Sabotage 17. Rock 'n' Roll Doctor from Technical Ecstasy 18. Johnny Blade from Never Say Die 19. Neon Knights from Heaven and Hell

— Compiled by John Semley

Turning gross into good S ophia K arwowski

Did your parents give you Fig Newtons in your lunchbox? Weren't they gross? In accordance with the ancient truth that anything tastes better with booze, these fiberlicious cookies hold the potential to de-nastify the legacy of the lowly fig in the hearts of generation Y-ers everywhere. A little bit spicy and a little bit liquory, they're adapted from Heidi Swanson's fabulous blog 101cookbooks.com. If you still harbour a grown-up grudge against figs, replace the offending ingredient with any other type of wizened fruit such as dates, apricots, or cranberries.

1.

Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Let soak for 24 hours on a countertop or, alternatively, sim­ mer over medium-low heat for half an hour.

Let cool and drain figs of most liquid except for a few tablespoons. Process the figs and the remaining liquid in a food processor or blender until they form a thick paste.

2.

iiw m

Dough 2 V2 cups flour 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon baking powder i teaspoon salt t teaspoon nutmeg 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened 1 cup brown sugar or cane sugar 1 egg 1teaspoon vanilla 2 tablespoons molasses

Filling 1/2 pound dried figs, chopped 1/2 cup pomegranate juice 1/2 cup port or brandy " 1/4 cup lemon juice

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Preheat the oven to 350F degrees.

Mix the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and nutmeg in a bowl and set aside.

In a blender or food processor, cream together the butter, sugar, egg, vanilla and molasses.

Add the dry ingredients and mix until blended.

If you're using a blender, you will have to do this in two or three shifts.

Split the dough into two pieces, wrap each in plastic and then refrigerate for at least one hour.

After you've chilled the dough, roll out both halves to a 1/4-inch thickness on a floured bak­ ing sheet.

Slather the fig spread over the surface of the dough. Lay the second layer over the fig spread.

Crimp the edges with a fork to seal them to­ gether.

Bake for 15 minutes and remove when the edges are just starting to brown. Let cool for 10 minutes and slice into small squares.

Makes about 3 dozen cookies. ■

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HEALTH

I forget!

Memory boosting techniques J a n e t M c M u lle n Learning and memory involve many areas of the brain, including the hippo­ campus, caudate and cortex. Memory is all about "changing the connection strength between one neuron and the next,"says Sam McKenzie, currently work­ ing on his Ph.D. with Dr. Véronique Bohbot, of the Psychiatry department at Mc­ Gill. There are many simple techniques that can be employed to strengthen the nerve networks in the brain that store learned information (and hopefully achieve a better grade).

One of the most effective systems that can be used to improve memory is the linking technique. Make meaningful associations between individual bits of information, for example by using the same visual image. Moreover, make con­ nections between information you are trying to retain and everyday phenom­ ena in your life.

"Every time you learn something new, think about it and try to put it into the context of what you already know,” suggests McKenzie. This will help link in­ formation in the fast-learning hippocam­ pus to that stored in the slow-learning cortex.

Another unique strategy is known as the Loci method. Begin by visualizing all of the rooms in your house or a place that is familiar to you. Take a "mental walkthrough the rooms in a logical fash­ ion, then place each literary term, major World War II battle date or part of the kid­ ney in a specific room.To recall this infor­ mation, simply take another mental walk through the house. You will be surprised at how effortlessly the information will come to you.

A final specific tactic that can be used is the chunking technique. Group­ ing small pieces of information into larger blocks allows for easier recall in the future. To remember each chunk, develop a specific rhythm of information flow within the block or even use your imagination to create a wild story involv­ ing each element.

To enhance your memory in the long run, keep your brain active with daily mind-challenging activities, such as puzzles and riddles like Sudoku or Mah­ jong. These need not be time-consum­ ing, but can be played while waiting for the water to boil or during commercial breaks. Also, constantly keep your senses engaged by listening to classical music when you study, keeping fresh flowers on your desk or adopting a couple of co­ lourful guppies to keep you company.

There are also certain foods that have been ascribed to quelling memo­ ry problems in the future. For example, studies done at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago show that people who consume more fish have fewer memory problems than those who do not. If sea­ food makes you gag, try taking fish-oil pills.

Your environment also has a signifi­ cant impact on the efficacy of your brain to store and recall memories. Reducing stress and getting an adequate amount of shut-eye can boost brain function and memory immensely. Next time you sit down to study, make use of these simple strategies and say good-bye to those dreaded memory lapses for good. ■

08.04.08-The McGill Tribune - 15

X VS Y

Hepburn vs. Hepburn K a th a rin e H e p b u rn

A u d r e y H e p b u rn

Most memorable role: The spirited, bible-thumping spinster-turned-romantic Rose Sayer in "The African Queen."

Most memorable role:The frail, black dress-wearing, kit­ ten-heeled neurotic Holly Golightly in Breakfast at M any's.

Signature look: Being rail-thin and inducing gasps in the 4os-onwards by wearing wide pants, vests, collared shirts and other'male'fashion.

Signature look: Being rail-thin and defining chic through starting trends such as trench coats, little black dresses and ballet flats; she was the muse of designer Givenchy.

Hollywood quotient: Deemed 'box-office poison'in her early career, she eventually won a strong following as a femi­ nist icon and popular actress. She could act circles around Audrey; her physical comedy is spot-on.

Hollywood quotient: Initially kept from reaching the limelight in the bevy of blonde bombshell stars of the 50s, she eventually became a popular icon. Kennedy's last birth­ day song was sung by Audrey, reportedly the President's fa­ vourite actress.

m

Incarnated by: Cate Blanchett in The Aviator.

Accolades: Holds the record for the most Oscar Best Ac­ tress wins with four, out of 12 nominations.

Fighting style: Katharine would roll up her sleeves, get down and dirty. According to many sources, her manly fa­ çade was not just for show in a time when feminism had few other forms of recognized expression; her pursuits included horse-racing and hunting.

T

h

r

Incarnated by: Every woman adopting black-dress chic.

Winner: Audrey Despite Katharine's notable romantic ties, nothing beats Audrey's tortise-rimmed sunglasses. Not to men­ tion the song by Deep Blue Sea: "and I said, what about Breakfast at Tiffany's..." ■

e

Accolades: Audrey is one of a few performers who have won an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar and a Tony Award.

Fighting style: Audrey, a Unicef ambassador for decades and continual advocator for human rights causes, would ab­ stain from the fight.

— Compiled by Crystal Chan

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16 • Photo Special • 08.04.08

M c G ill T r ib u n e P h o to S p e c ia l

The McGill Tribune

08.04.08 • Photo Special • 17

www.mcgilltribune.com

ADAMSCOTTI

MICHELLE GEESAMAN

SARAYOUSEFNEJAD

NIKIHYDE

McGill Tribune Photo would like to thank all of our photographers this year for their tireless dedication and professionalism in th e often chaotic world of photojournalism. We have been honored and hum bled to work with artists of this caliber. Thank you all! Niki & Sara

JESS DISMONT

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& E

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f il m

Oscar-winning Pixar whiz on robot romance F i n d i n g C

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creator Andrew Stanton provides heart behind

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Wall-E— a film about a trash-compacting robot running around a futuristic, uninhabited Earth, with nothing akin to vocal chords and thus no intelligible way to express himself— is, oddly enough, writer-director Andrew Stan­ ton's most intimate work.

Stanton, of Finding Nemo fame, identified an unchecked affection for 70s sci-fi films as his "obvious" inspiration for the robot protagonist, but credited his inner romantic for the charac­ ter's sentimentaLappeal.

"I'm a romantic at heart so even though I like to make these cool action films and comedies... I'm a sucker for a good love story," he said.

Maybe Stanton had himself in mind while modelling Wall-E. After all, the eponymous robot is a techie, a 'bot who, through a muta­ tion in his programming, has a wildly romantic sensibility. While sifting through the human ar­ tifacts he compacts, he finds and watches any romantic musicals that he finds— these snip­ pets being the first time a Pixar film has incor­ porated live-action footage. Wall-E soon longs to experience a little bit of melodramatic lovin' himself. Intergalactic adventures and meta­ phors for human isolation follow suit.

No matter where exactly his inspirations lay, Stanton, one of the masterminds behind all but two of Pixar's films, has worked slowly on Wall-E since 1992, long before Nemo came to life. Although it may be easy to picture the Pixar offices as some kind of Google-like oasis, with nary a responsibility-minded adult in sight, the story was just unconventional enough that it took Stanton many years before the idea was taken seriously.

Stanton was hired by John Lasseter, Pixar founder and creator of the now-famous bounc­ ing lamp logo, when the studio was still in the business of making quirky computer-graphic commercials. Just like the famous lamp logo, which has all the features of a normal lamp but moves and evokes the personality of a curious, animate object, Wall-E is a robot that has a heart. However he is not just the talking, human-modelled character of cartoon tradi­

tion. Stanton claimed he didn't want to just "suddenly put a face or white gloves or silly mouth or anything like that on a toaster or something like that."

In fact, the robots in the film have no fea­ tures extraneous to what they would need to perform their duties; Wall-E has seeing cameras Or 'eyes' to sense the trash he has to pick up, but no other humanoid qualities. Since a trash compactor, no matter how futuristic, would not require a mastery of the English language or even be able to walk on two legs, Wall-E and his machine friends 'communicate' through a machine language, carefully manufactured by veteran sound man Ben Burtt.the brain behind legendary robot R2-D2's vocalizations. Curb Your Enthusiasm's Jeff Garlin is one of the only human voice-actors of the film, providing the voice of the Axiom spaceship's captain. Hu­ mankind retreated to the Axiom micro-world ship after a vague planetary disaster (read: global warming), and it circles the galaxy as it waits for the robots to clean up the trash and the environment to clear up.

"It just is more interesting to have to sort of guess what you think [the machines] are thinking," explained Stanton. "That's why peo­ ple love their pets and why people go sort of gaga over babies. One, they are very cute and they are very approachable, but two, you don't know exactly what's going on with them, and you always want to guess."

The visuals of the film are suitably stunning for a Pixar flick. The look of the Earthly waste­ land and intergalactic space scenes combines the tactile 3D photographic Pixar look of Nemo with inspirations from NASA paintings from the 60s and 70s, over the top sci-fi visuals and con­ cept art from Disneyland's "Tomorrowland."

In addition to Stanton, the film was co­ written by Jim Reardon, a Simpsons director for almost 15 years. His influence shows. Like The Simpsons, Wall-E combines animation with a mature appeal that caters to adults as well as children.

"We never think about who our audience is," said Stanton. "We sort of assume it's going to be anybody. We just make movies that we would want to see ourselves."

W a ll- E

PIXAR ANIMATION STUDIOS S ta n to n sh ifts fro m th e u n d e rw a te r b a c k d ro p o f Finding Nemo to o u te r space in Wall-E.

Though the trend of broadly appealing feature animation was already realized with The Incredibles, there is an increasingly adult-orient­ ed industry taking shape and Wall-E's love story might have a lot to do with the film's more ma­ ture audience. The love between Wall-E and Eve, a flying laser-gun equipped fembot, is not a sappy or old-fashioned love story.

We should not be getting all excit­ ed to fulfill some frisky machine fetish or anything, however.

"Even though it's sexy and it looks a little photorealistic, that wasn't really the goal. We didn't wanna just to do it to wow people. We wanted to just make [the viewer] get really, re­ ally invested in the story... get caught up in the story," said Stanton.* Wall-E hits theatres June 27. It's still a bit early to tell, but www.cinemamontreal.com will likely have showtimes listed sometime around mid-June.

P O P R H E T O R IC

Oprah's philanthropy for philistines B yron Tau

eave it to Oprah to turn philanthropy into a gaudy, voy­ euristic reality television show. In a hysterical peaco.ck-like parade of moral one-upmanship, ten contestants on her new reality TV show Oprah's Big Give compete in a holier-thanthou display of charitable licentiousness week after week in the vain hope of being crowned the most generous by the Queen of Selflessness herself. As Oprah said in teaser trailers, "You give big...or you go home." And leave it to 15-million of her mindless cult-like devotees to tune in week after week to watch this shameful excuse for a television program.

Does anyone else take issue with this pathetic exercise in congratulatory self-validation?Ten ordinary,"everyday"contestants being tested on their altruistic bona M e s on prime­ time TV by a superstar media mogul worth $2.5 billion doesn't strike anyone else as vapid? Does Oprah really want to pass this off as more than a shameless moneymaking venture and self-promotional stunt wrapped in a cloak of benevolent char­ ity and selfless giving?

Again, to recap, Oprah has two-and-a-half billion dollars in assets. Why televise her benevolence and the altruism of these ordinary people (who are handsomely rewarded with a cool si-million if they win the title of most-selfless)? Why even

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go through a middleman in the form of another ABC televi­ sion venture? She already has one hour a day to trumpet her good works— so why invest in the start-up costs for a brand new television show? Helicopters, fancy SUVs and a large jumbo jet all figure prominently into the Big Give. Wouldn't this money be better spent elsewhere "helping" the poor, the tired and the huddled masses?

No, apparently, Oprah's aim is to "spread the spirit of giv­ ing across the land,"— at least according to New Yorker review­ er Nancy Franklin. Nothing, after all, inspires Oprah's white­ washed bourgeois audience of bored trophy wives (with an average household income of $63,000) and unemployed idiots with nothing else to do at 4:00 p.m. (with an average household income of $0) more than seeing heartwarming tales of triumph and tragedy playing out across their televi­ sion screens. Oprah already has a magazine, a TV network, a copyright on the letter 0 and a wildly popular book club— doesn't it make sense for her to have a prime-time reality tele­ vision special?

Then again, its no surprise that Oprah could find some way to seamlessly blend benevolence, self-promotion and crass materialism. Her entire career has been built upon such a

formula. Starting as a news anchor, she traded in her reporter's hat to explore the softer side of the news— her show is a veri­ table freak-show of human-interest stories, new-age bullshit (the Secret, anyone?), reckless fear mongering (she was re­ sponsible for the "road rage" scare of the late 90s and was sued over an episode about Mad Cow) and weepy confessionals.

Time after time, her show has championed a shallow brand of pithy upper-middle class female-oriented consum­ erism wrapped in a mantra of self-righteousness or the guise of education. Every once in a while, Oprah gives away goody bags filled with electronics, skin care products and expensive lotions to her ecstatic and adoring live audience members.

Her book club turned serial exaggerator James Frey into a household name and helped make East o f Eden a best-seller decades after its author passed on.

Oprah's Big Give is just another property in Oprah's everexpanding monopoly on emotional responses. As Franklin wrote, "Most of the time, [Oprah's] viewers are left with little choice but to repond as the story has ordered them, whether it's to cry, buy or reach for the sky.'The only problem with the Big Give is that it's profit-seeking monstrosity wrapped in a cloak of self-righteousness.*

08.04.08 • The McGill Tribune • 19

www.mcgilltribune.com

C O N S E R V A T IO N

FILM

Conserving culture

Gritty and rehashed

Historic Cities exhibit hits McCord

Cop clichés drive

G eo ffrey anstey In North America, when a building passes the hundred-year mark, there's a good chance that a plaque will be put on it. We don't have much antiquity here, and if there's a building that our grandparents remember from their youth well probably fight tooth and nail so that our children will be able to see it. Sure, part of the zeal comes from a desire to keep up the scenery, but there is more to it than that. Such buildings connect us to our past and in doing so enrich our culture— making the price tag to save them well worth our tax dollars..

But some other parts of the world don't have the wealth we do to spend on urban con­ servation and as a result, even older and more significant architecture is left to rot. Such invest­ ment in culture is a luxury that these communi­ ties can't afford, and losses in heritage are often the inescapable result of an economic position.

This attitude is what Prince Karim Aga Khan, the spiritual leader of the Shia Imami Ismaili Muslims (or Ismailis), wants to change with his Historic Cities Program. Part of the Aga Khan Trust for Culture, the program aims to show that

culture is not just a luxury and that investing in it has real economic and social benefits for im­ poverished communities in the Muslim world.

It's an interesting premise'that has already gotten a foothold in many places all over the world. The projects range from renovating old temples.to rebuilding ancient walls and castles, and the AKTC has commissioned an exhibition tour around Canada to help raise awareness for the program's current works and their benefits.

This week, it has made its way to Montreal's McCord Museum.

The exhibition shows five of the program's projects, taking place in Egypt, Afghanistan, India, Mali and Syria, with the usé of informa­ tional panels and models. For the most part, the panels do a good job of showing the size and scope of the projects, especially when they use large detailed maps and diagrams, but it would have been nice if the exhibit had more than two models.

Overall, there just isn't that much physicality to the exhibit, which keeps it more informa­ tive than impressive. This isn't to say that the exhibit isn't interesting, far from it, but for those who like rare paintings and ancient artifacts with their information, none of that splendor is found here. However, not everyone minds a purely educational experience, and if you have an inter­ est in this field there's the fact that McCord is across the street from the McGill campus, so the trip is probably worth it, even if the program's aims seem more con­ cerned -with pedagogy than aesthetics. ■

S t r e e t

W illiam R obinson In life there are bad guys and there are good guys. The question Street Kings poses is: how do you tell the difference?To be honest, the specula­ tive morals of this film are as tired as the rehash of the old genre of cop thriller itself. Last year's Gone Baby Gone did the convoluted morals shin­ dig with more grace and panache (to say noth­ ing of classics such as Taxi Driver and The Wild Bunch). Granted, Street Kings offers a gritty feel and a sense of darkness even in the brightest day time"scenes, but the overall sense is that the audi­ ence is being constantly duped in order to satisfy a need for a surprise ending.The worst part is that it never comes.

Tom Ludlow (Keanu Reeves) finds himself in a situation where his career demands that he either bend his ethical code or hit the bread­ line. To cope with his moral transgressions, the viewer is propelled into a manhunt, a quest for revenge and, of course, a roundabout vindica­ tion of his sins. As is the case with cop thrillers, a web of corruption captures Tom and it is up to him to disentangle himself. Although the plot offers nothing to write home about it is at least feasibly well-structured.

What Street Kings does offer is a high enough budget to film on actual L.A. streets: streets that would normally rarely see exposure on Holly­ wood-fronted celluloid (Vancouver or Toronto

The Aga Khan Historic Cities Programme Exhibi­ tion is hosted by the M c­ Cord Museum (6 go Sher­ brooke W.) from April i to NEBOJSA PETROVIC April 13. Admission is free.

V is ito rs ta k e in th e e x h ib it at M c C o rd M u se u m .

M U S IC

Into the groove at last Misery Signals' meteoric rise to metalcore's mighty pantheon R enée S utton The intense wailing of heavy guitar and hard double-pedal drum kicking is impossible to ignore in the hardcore sounds of Misery Sig­ nals. Since their initial formation in 2002, they have been on a slippery slope as various mem­ bers came and went. Their lineup stabilized in 2005, when the monstrous but melodic vocal styles of Karl Schubach were introduced to their sound. Bassist and original member Kyle John­ son claimed that they are currently in a great position as a group and are glad to have finally formed a solid connection.

"One thing would be our sense of humor, it's really like no other", said Johnson. "I'm not even saying it's necessarily always funny but it always makes us laugh and that's all we care about."

Substantial hype has come naturally for Misery Signals since they released their debut album O f Malice and The Magnum Heart in 2004.

They continue to progress as a group and have a tremendous fan-base amongst the metal, hardcore and punk scenes. Despite the power­

ful complexities of their sound, the musicians are essentially self-taught, but have been dedi­ cated to music for years.

"I took lessons for guitar for about a year when I was in high school but that is the only type of schooling I've had and I ended up play­ ing bass in the end,"Johnson said jokingly.

Misery Signals released Mirrors, their sophomore album, in 2006, where they con­ tinued to fine-tune their intricate style. The love of older and more recent rock groups alike, from Led Zeppelin to At the Drive In, have largely influenced the band's unique sound.

They have received positive critical attention for their raw metal tunes that have a melan­ cholic edge. Still, they give ample credit to the

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music that inspires them.

"While our influences are sometimes obvi­ ous we have always tried to add our own sound and make it something that no one is currently doing in the same way we are," said Johnson.

In the last few years the group has played at a variety of venues and rock festivals, and have toured with successful bands like The Dilliner Escape Plan, Bleeding Through and Strap­ ping Young Lad. With a third album on the way with Ferret Records, the band is now having a great time touring across North America.

Accompanying As I Lay Dying, Misery Signals will be performing in Montreal on May 16 at the Theatre National. This is not their first appearance here and the group feels that the devoted rock scene in the city has made every visit incredible. Though he accidentally referred to Foufounes as "Fu-Fu," Johnson praised Mon­ treal's nightlife and the alternative people they have met here. The band puts a lot of thought into their live performances, and while they try to maintain the general tone of their albums, they always play with high-energy.

"Our live performance focusses primarily

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usually serve as the unassuming stand-ins). Be­ sides the premium paid for the American setting, the danger of these streets is very real and Street Kings adequately captures this fact.

The soundtrack, mostly composed of pounding hip-hop drum beats, betrays its true nature in the final scene, as it switches to a vio­ lin crescendo in order to sell the gravity of the so-called 'twist.' As one becomes aware of this classical-type music, it seems out of place with the film's overall mood. However, throughout the film, music does maintain a sense of anxi­ ety and anticipation which keeps the viewer waiting for more.

But hats off to performances by House's Hugh Laurie and Last Com ic Standing's Jay Mohr.

Laurie especially delivers as a sort of police-ver­ sion of his curmudgeonly endearing TV doctor.

While it is initially strange to see him out of con­ text like this, he quickly becomes believable. For­ est Whitaker is as skillful as ever, but his character is generally ridiculous, as his motivations and personal life go entirely unexplored. While this film comes from the writer of LA Confidential (James Ellroy) and from the director of Training Day (David Ayer), it has less depth and less grit than either, although it attempts to compensate with a surfeit of sweet action scenes. ■ Street Kings hits theatres this Friday, April n.

Check www.cinemamontreal.com for showtimes.

on intensity and emotion," said Johnson. “We spend a lot of time working on the songs we make and we want them to translate when we play them live".* Misery Signais-provide main support for As I Lay Dying at Theatre National (1220 Ste-Catherine EJ on May 16 with August Bums Red and Evergreen Terrace.

BUZZNET.COM M is e ry S ig n a ls lo o k g re a t in co lo u r, to o!

20 • Arts & Entertainment • 08.04.08

The McGill Tribune

BLOGS

Stuff white people write McGill grad rockets to online fam e E zra G unter

COURTESY JESSICA LANDER C h ris tia n L a n d e r d e m o n s tra te s n u m b e r 64, re cy lin g .

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What do Asian girls, co-ed sports, music piracy and expensive sandwiches all have in common? According to comedy blogger and former Mcgill Tribune Sports Edi­ tor Christian Lander, they are all things that white people like. Obvious? Racist? Hopelessly simplistic? Maybe. But along with another 90 items and counting, (multi-lingual children, farmer's markets, knowing what's best for poor people, etc.) these seemingly disparate cultural peccadil­ loes have turned the red-bearded Toronto native into an over-night blogging sensation and soon-to-be bona fide author. Since starting Stuff White People Like (www.stuffwhitepeopleiike.wordpress.com) on Jan. 18 (“Coffee"was the first post), Lander has contended with all of these criti­ cisms, but with over 21-million hits and a lucrative book deal from Random House, his relentless cataloguing of white people's predilections is just getting started. The book version of Stuff White People Like is scheduled to be published in August and will contain two-thirds new material. Meanwhile, Lander continues to add to the blog on a near-daily basis.

"I can run with a joke for a really long time," Lander said of his long-lasting gag. "I thought it was funny, and so long as I still think it's still funny I'm going to keep doing it."

Since Lander hatched the idea with his friend Myles Valentin during an instant messaging conversation about the critically acclaimed (white people love things that are critically acclaimed, he notes) HBOTV series The Wire (now number 85 on the list), the blog has practically defined the meaning ofViral'popularity. While word of mouth and e-mail did the initial work, the blog was quickly picked up by media outlets such as NPR and has now been featured in publications ranging from the Grand Rapids Press to China Daily. Lander's stunningly large advance from Random House, which he was not at liberty to dis­ close but which the New York Times reported to be in the range of $300,000 U.S., has only further fueled the media frenzy. On the instructions of his publisher he has even stopped giving interviews to American media so as to avoid over-exposure.

"It's pretty much been the craziest month of my en­ tire life. At no point did I think that this was going to hap­ pen," Lander said of his unexpected success.

Aside from the purported book advance, however, Lander has yet to see any real money from the blog. In the first three months of its existence it earned Lander a grand total of $13, though the recent introduction of Google text ads to the blog's permalink pages seems likely to gener­ ate greater revenue. He insists, however, that his intention was not to get rich or famous, but,only to amuse himself and his friends.

"It's something I wanted to do my whole life, but I didn't know how. I certainly didn't expect this blog where I make fun of myself and my friends to turn into it,"he said.

Still, now that he has a book to write, Lander has taken time off from his L.A. copy-writing job and is uncer­ tain whether or not he will return.

"It would be amazing if this could turn into some­ thing permanent. That would pretty much be my entire life dream come true," he said.

A McGill Alumnus, Lander got his start writing as the Sports Editor for the McGill Tribune from 1998-2000.

"It made me a man," he joked. “I was a child before

I started working [at the Tribune] and when I finished I was a man."

On a more serious note, he credits the friends he made at McGill as a major inspiration for the blog.

"McGill inspired virtually ever post on the blog. Any­ time anything goes up I'm like, are the people I went to McGill with, are they going to be psyched about this? And if the answer is yes, then bam, up it goes. It's a continuing source of inspiration," he said.

If book deals and articles in the New York Times aren't enough of an indication of Lander's cultural arrival, another sure sign is the emergence of knock-off blogs such as Stuff Asian People Like (www.asian-central.com/ stuffasianpeoplelike) and Stuff Educated Black People Like (http://stuffebplike.com).

"When we were goofing around with it we jokingly said that we'll know we made it when people start tribute sites and it just blows my mind that so many people have done it But I think it's great, so long as it's not being done in a hateful way," Lander said.

Along with its sudden popularity, however, Lander's work also has its detractors. Some accuse his satirical ob­ servations as being too general and therefore racist. Oth­ ers, such theAtlantic.com blogger Megan McArdle, say that his writing is simply not funny.

"Leaveaside the arrogance of declaring"white people" to be equal to a rather small group of self-satisfied, over­ educated, affluent poverty-vultures... how can you take a target as rich and inviting as people who deliberately buy ugly shoes and produce ... a dull thud?"she asks.

"Whether or not it's funny, that's totally subjective. Not everyone's going to find it funny and.I can totally under­ stand that," Lander acknowledges. Nevertheless, he resists, accusations that his humour is somehow over-the-line.

"I think that there's a lot of people who misunder­ stand what racism actually is about. If this is the biggest race problem facing the world today I think that's kind of ridiculous," he said. "You've never been denied a job be­ cause you like expensive sandwiches and yoga,"he added, citing one of the blog's more trenchant comments. . While the speed of Lander's success is noteworthy, Stuff White People Like is hardly the first blog to become a book. In the early days of blogging, way back in 2002, New York office worker Julie Powell decided to make all 524 recipes from Julia Child's 1961 tome Mastering the Art o f French Cooking in a single year. Dubbing her efforts "The Julie/Julia Project,"she documented her efforts online and was subsequently rewarded with a book deal from Little, Brown and Company, which resulted in fleshy 320 page best-selling hardcover. Other blogs such as gawker.com and freewilliamsburg.com followed suit, and now even the lolcats blog icanhascheezburger.com is scheduled for a No­ vember book launch.

"I don't think it's anything particularly ground break­ ing," Lander admitted. "In my life it's something ground­ breaking, but I don't know if it's a hugely special thing."

Still, Lander's success can easily be seen as an ex­ ample of the possibilities of a digital age, where a writer can go from total obscurity to global fame in a matter of months. Whether or not that fame will last, however, is an­ other matter. For his part, Lander is unsure of what might come next but knows that he wants to keep writing.

"All I really wanted to do was write comedy, in any capacity," he said. "I don't have a seething, coming of age novel in me at all. I just want to write comedy." ■

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08.04.08 • The McGill Tribune • 21

Reviews TV. Battlestar Galactica Season 4. Holy fraking shit, Galactica is back again with a bang. The show's fourth and final season opens with an explosive episode that creates yet another cliffhanger— and generates even more ques­ tions than answers. Main characters are revealed as bona fide Cylons, the human fleet is crippled by a devastating attack, and Starbuck mysteriously returns with photos of Earth. Meanwhile, the vindicated Gaius Baltar becomes even more messianic, constantly invoking the One True God. The fast-paced roller coaster ride of an episode is a welcome return to form after a twelve-month absence, prolonged and intensified by the WGA writers strike.

Still, the Galactica writing team has started to overuse and abuse the cliffhanger formula. Dedicated fans are going to watch every episode (especially after such a long absence), so there's no need to further serialize the show. Fur­ ther, for a program that was initially notable for its bold willingness to kill off be­ loved (albeit supporting) characters, Galactica is becoming more and more con­ servative as the plot wraps up. Starbuck's return was perhaps inevitable, but a bit too deus ex machina. It remains to be seen how the writers will credibly explain her return without resorting to old sci-fi clichés. Nonetheless, Galactica has built up a complex mythology in just three short seasons. The fourth season opener adds gloriously to the mythology, while giving the show more impetus than it had at the beginning of the third season— which meandered along rather aim­ lessly. Finding Earth has become the modus operandi— even as it detracts from more prolonged and thoughtful meditations on politics, love, power relations, and gender and sexual orientation.

In short, the season opener is a real treat for fans of the show long deprived of their beloved franchise. In its final season, Galactica has demonstrated that it reigns supreme as one of the most explosive and risky shows on television. The rest of the season is surely not to be missed.

T h a n k y o u t o a ll o f o u r h a r d - w o r k i n g a n d I n d u s t r i o u s w r i t e r s f o r y o u r c o n tr ib u tio n s d u r in g 2 0 0 7 -2 0 0 8 . W ith o u t y o u , th e s e p a g e s w o u ld b e e m p t y , a n d o u r r e a d e r s l e f t in t h e l u r c h . T h a n k s f o r s u f f e r i n g t h r o u g h m e e t i n g s , g e t t i n g g r ille d f o r P o p R h e to r ic to p ic s a n d ( m o r e o r le s s ) o b s e r v i n g y o u r d e a d l i n e s . W e 'r e n o t g o i n g t o l i s t y o u a l l b y n a m e , b u t y o u k n o w w h o y o u are.

— E zra a n d J o h n

STOP

— Byron Tau

IN AT H&R BLOCK

Nick Cave & the Bad Seed. Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!! So Nick Cavedoesthingsa little different. Like when Nick Cave wants to tell the story of the Lazarus .getting risen from the grave, Nick Cave makes leapin' Larry a restless soul— ungratefully resurrected just so he can shuffle around Manhattan seek­ ing succour in junk, blondes and daydreams of the grave.

Moving in and out of the gritty rhythms of last year's Grinderman side-project, Lazarus has these Bad Seeds at their best since Abattoir Blues/Lyre o f Orpheus (which was their last album together anyhow) and Cave at his best since he gave up the whole Boatman's Call balladry thing. Sure there's some soft stuff ("Jesus of the Moon"), but by and large it's sear­ ing two-chord garage rock. There's plenty of sexy double entendres (the Sand­ man's a bedside creeper in "Today's Lesson"and the "weeping forests of La Vulva" get a nod in "Albert Goes West") that show how Cave can be clever with words not just when he's moaning about broken hearts but when he's peeking up skirts like the dirty old man he's beginning to resemble. And it's fitting,'cos considering Cave's enduring fascination with Americana, Lazarus comes off sounding a bit like his beat record, with nods to Burroughs, Bukowski and the whole Kerouacian spirit of things. Is it a concept album? Well, all the talk of skirt-chasing, hard-living and apocalypse points to only the most fundamental concept: that just like Larry, what we've really got to worry about isn't the one foot we got in the grave, but the one that's left to pound the pavement.

— John Semley

Ben Sures. Field Guide to Loneliness. Yeah, Field Guide to Loneliness is really the title of the album and no, it's not ironic. But it's ok because Ben Sures is not half as self-loath­ ing as you'd assume, just nostalgic. Field Guide to Loneliness is exactly what you'd expect to hear from a smart guy with an acoustic guitar who's given access to a handful of tal­ ented musicians comfortable just comping out standard jazzy tunes and muted folk/rock melodies. While the album almost inevitably delves into tired singer-songwriter territory with predictable rhymes and relatively uninspired folky hooks ("My Last Girlfriend", "Winnipeg"), there are a few keepers that make it all worthwhile, such as the early Waits-esque "Bachelors," the interestingly produced and thoroughly compelling "Drunk and in my Kitchen"and the nouveau Fred and Ginger, Johnny and June duet"Noton the Town". A highpoint of the album is the surprisingly non-hokey "Who Killed the Last Folksinger," full of insightful lines such as, "was it the already converted who'd heard it beforeand could not stomach it again?''(how apropos). And "Used To Have a Raygun" is the type of song that reminds you why songs are made in the first place. If the idea of a primarily acoustic album with no songs over four minutes doesn't drive you away, there's some creative, fertile material here.

— Christopher Johnson

We Are Scientists. Brain Thrust Mastery. Indie-twosome Keith Murray and Chris Cain have become known for their witty banter and their equally smart songs, but We Are Sci­ entists'new album sounds like they're running out of inter­ esting things to say. Brain Thrust Mastery takes a sharp turn into the Eighties, filled with indie-pop dance tunes that would get a dance floor of hipsters jumping and squeal­ ing, but when played in the silence of a bedroom sound like something you've heard before. Still carrying the energy of 2005's With Love and Squalor, Scientists' focus seems to have shifted from vocals to synthesizers, with varied results. Many of the songs sound like a talented 80s cover band, but "That's What Counts'is definitely the best stand-alone track. A wicked saxophone underlines vocals that catch the ear, and although it's not as poppy as some of the other songs, it's also not as flimsy. “After Hours"has lots of potential, sounding like an early Arcade Fire cover, but a lot of the other songs don't have any hook to catch on to, leaving them to dance through one ear and out the other side: a pleasant experience, but one that leaves something to be desired.

— Laura Tindal

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T R IB U N E A T H L E T E S O F T H E YEAR

Hockey goalies shut out the com petition The Tribune Rands out its annual Athlete of the Year hardware M att C hesser

A aron S igal Although the Tri­ bune awarded Charline Labonté this honour after her stellar freshman season at McGill, and we would love to recognize one of the many other great female athletes on campus, the hockey Mart­ lets All-World goaltender made it impossible to ignore her this season. La­ bonté successfully backstopped the Red 'n'White to the first CIS champion­ ship in any McGill female varsity program and suc­ cessfully defended her Athlete of the Year crown with a dominant 200708 season. The Canadian Olympic gold medal-win­ ning keeper from Torino in 2006 posted outra­ geous numbers in her second year at the helm of the Martlets, leading a historic campaign for the still-nascent program. La­ bonté garnered a 37-4-0 ADAMSCOTTI record, including going C h a rlin e L a b o n té d is p la y s th e te x t b o o k b u tte rfly s ty le th a t undefeated against CIS e a rn e d h e r a s p o t o n th e C a n a d ia n W o m e n's N a tio n a l Team . opponents in regular season play, and only al­ lowed 33 pucks past her all year. Over the course of her 37 victories, the Martlets goalie also posted 26 shutouts— 11 of which were in CIS play— a miniscule 0.47 goals against average and an equal­ ly impressive 0.971 save percentage backstopping McGill to nationals where Labonté was not scored upon in the three game tournament against, supposedly, Canada's top university sides.

After her championship season, in which she accumulated an incredible shutout streak that lasted 363 minutes and nine seconds, and certainly not injured by the fact that her head coach, Peter Smith, also manages the Canadian national women's team, Labonté was selected to Team Canada's roster for the IIHF Women's World Championship in China. If Labonté can win the starting job at the currently ongoing tournament and guide the national squad to another gold medal, it will only further enhance her status as McGill's top female competitor. The num­ ber-one goaltender position is notably contested by a fellow Martlets alumna, Kim St. Pierre, and whomever emerges as the number one netminder will likely have the inside track for the 2010 Olympic Games.

Granted, Charline Labonté played on the nation's top team against clearly inferior competi­ tion, especially in the abysmally easy Quebec conference; however, such statistics are unprec­ edented at McGill— well, except for the keeper's 2006 season— which makes her a worthy twotime McGill Tribune Female Athlete of the Year. ■

T H IR D M A N IN

To be considered for the McGill Tribune Athlete of the Year award an athlete must do one of the following things: post All-Star calibre numbers throughout the regular season, lead their team to playoff success or attract the attention of a professional or national team in their chosen sport. That goaltender Mathieu Poitras fulfills not just one, but all three of our criteria for Athlete of the Year gives you some idea of the remarkable season he has had between the pipes for the McGill Redmen.

Poitras was a vital cog in one of the most successful seasons in the 132-year history of McGill hockey, posting a 15-7-0 record and a .917 save percentage in regular season play, en route to being named an OUA East second team All-Star. The former All-Canadian saved his best for the playoffs, however, where he was spectacular in leading the Redmen to their second national championship tournament berth in three years. Poitras surrendered only 15 goals in nine postseason contests— seven of which came during a national championship tournament game against Alberta in which Poitras faced 50 shots and was hung out to dry by his defence. His eight playoff wins set a McGill single-season record and he was unquestionably the best player on the first edition of the Redmen to capture the Queen's Cup (the OUA conference championship trophy) in 62 years.

Fittingly, Poitras’s season didn't come to an end after nationals, as the defending Stanley Cup champion Anaheim Ducks signed the 25-year-old to a try-out contract and are currently using him as a third-string goaltender. The Ducks plan to use Poitras as an emergency back-up until their AHL affiliate, the Portland Pirates, is eliminated from the playoffs. It's unlikely that Poitras will see any NHL action, but even sharing the ice at practice with future Hall of Fame players like Scott Niedermayer, Teemu Selanne and Chris Pronger is a testament to Poitras's considerable talent.

Poitras will graduate later this year as the most successful goaltender in McGill history, with a career 81-35-6 record and a lifetime .921 save percentage. The mechanical engineering senior has already collected many accolades— including three team MVP awards, two Bill Forbes Trophies as McGill male athlete of the year and multiple CIS Academic All-Canadian honours— but for leading the Redmen to postseason success and attracting the attention of an elite NHL team, he receives perhaps the least coveted honour of them all: McGill Tribune Male Athlete of the Year. ■

Developing annoying Hab-its

ontreal, what happened to you? I expect this behav­ iour from my fellow Torontonians, traumatized as they are after 40 years of utter on and off-ice ineptitude, but I always thought you were above all this. Sure, the Bell Cen­ tre is known to be frequented by the odd sit-on-your-hands suit in the lower bowl and the drunk wannabe Euro-trash fans |J | who sing that insufferable "Olé" chant, but, nonetheless, there was always a refined dignity and class among Habs fans that has been so carefully groomed and cultivated by way of 26 Stanley Cups and 100 years of unparalleled dominance. It ap- pears now, however, that it was all a façade or maybe a con­ struction of a deeply envious Toronto mind; Montreal fans are just as dim and short-sighted as the rest of us NHL plebians.

This past Saturday night, the Canadiens hosted, and demolished, the abysmal Toronto Maple Leafs to cap off the franchise's most successful regular season in 20 years— a 104 point effort— thereby reestablishing the Habs as one of the NHL's elite squads and, arguably more importantly in Montreal, further abusing their feckless arch-rivals in the process. The victory also temporarily placed the Canadiens into the Eastern Conference's top position, an achievement solidified on Sun' day afternoon with Pittsburgh's half-assed loss to Philadelphia.

M

ADAMSCOTTI M a th ie u P o itras's s te lla r p la y in th e CIS c a u g h t th e a tte n tio n o f th e A n a h e im D ucks.

Unquestionably, Saturday night's win in front of a boisterous and grateful Bell Centre crowd was meaningful to Habs Nation as it represented a collective catharsis and return to glory for a franchise that had been mired in relative incompetence since its last Stanley Cup in 1992 -93 .

Despite this, the scene on Montreal's streets afterwards was embarrassing and amateurish for a city that should hold much higher standards after so many phenomenal teams and corresponding banners. As red-clad and chanting Habs fans poured out from the arena into the streets of Montreal, both they and the rest of the populace were greeted by scores of cars with hands and Canadiens flags hanging out of windows honking to celebrate the evening's victory and the (almost) conference title. Just to recap, the Habs, who had challenged for first or second since the All-Star Break in January, defeated the n th-place team in the conference to regain a hold on the East's regular season trophy— an achievement that could have been erased less than 24 hours later if the Penguins had even remotely showed up against the Flyers. Yet here were Canada's supposedly most hockey-savvy fans whooping it up as if Lord Stanley had made a visit down Ste-Catherine's Street.

For lack of a more precise way of stating why such honk­

A aron S igal

ing and celebrating was embarrassing for a city and franchise so steeped in hockey lore, I'll defer to phenom goaltender Carey Price, who, after being asked on Saturday night what the victory and regular season conference title meant, said, "They don't really hang conference titles in this rink, they raise Stan­ ley Cup banners. It's kind of nice to get it but everyone knows what the ultimate prize is."Montreal, the city of Morenz, Richard, Blake, Beliveau, Cournoyer, Dryden, Lafleur and Roy, doesn't, and shouldn't, celebrate mere conference titles as young fans have been weaned on legends of the Flying Frenchmen, the Rocket and La Sainte Flanelle where the story always ends with a shiny silver mug.

If this were Toronto, where the Leafs have never finished first in a conference, they would surely have a parade and a re­ ligious service to which Maple Leafs Sports and Entertainment would charge $80 to mark the arrival of the ridiculous banner.

In Vancouver, Canucks fans would undoubtedly shed some long-awaited tears as the meaningless pennant was raised to the rafters. The Montreal Canadiens, however, are hockey royalty and, for the most part, the rest of the NHL is mere peas­ antry; now if only the fans started acting like it and as though they have won 26 Cups before. ■

23 • Sports • 08.04.08

The McGill Tribune

S T A N L E Y C U P P L A Y O F F P R E V IE W S

Let the chase for Lord Stanley's mug begin (2) Penguins vs. (7) Senators

(3) Capitals vs. (6) Flyers

What more can be said about Pittsburgh, a team that boasts the most exciting offen­ sive spectacle in hockey? Head Coach Michel Therien has two of the best lines in the NHL and is able to throw megastar Sidney Crosby on the ice followed by Evgeni Malkin, who proved he is more than just Crosby's sidekick by notching 46 goals and 106 points to lead the Pens and finish second in league scoring.

Add to the mix Marian Hossa, the stud winger that came over in the blockbuster deadline day deal and developing centre Jordan Staal and the Penguins can throw some heavy fire­ power at opponents. Although a little shaky on the back end, as Ryan Whitney and Sergei Gonchar aren't exactly known for their defen­ sive prowess, and worrisome in net as goalie Marc-André Fleury doesn't inspire confidence in pressure situations, Pittsburgh will have the offence and motivation to avenge last year's playoff defeat at the hands of the Senators.

Seemingly supremely talented with set­ up man Jason Spezza and former 50-goal scorer Dany Heatley, Ottawa has utterly col­ lapsed after their scorching start to the season.

Yet, while the team is hopelessly fragile in the mental department, most of the blame must be laid at the feet of the pathetic goaltending tandem, especially Ray Emery, who has clearly created a toxic environment in the dressing room and alienated his teammates. Mean­ while, Martin Gerber, who has been terrible in every post-season he has seen thus far, has not been able to win his team's trust, and, as any fan knows, no one wins in the Stanley Cup playoffs without outstanding netminding.The Senators have proven to be rotten at their core and lacking accountability, a situation only to be compounded in the playoffs by the expect­ ed lengthy absences of two-way centre Mike Fisher and captain Daniel Alfredsson.

Prediction: Pittsburgh in six —AS.

As usual, the Southeast division has pro­ duced a three-seed with fewer points (94) than their sixth-ranked opponent (95) due to the NHL's archaic playoff format, but don't be fooled by the stats as the Capitals have been on fire recently. Having won seven consecu­ tive games to make the post-season on the last day of their campaign, Washington is the NHL's hottest team. To the gratitude of every hockey fan alive, Alexander Ovechkin has reached the playoffs for the first time in his career after al­ most single-handedly pulling his team across the finish line with a surefire MVP season in which he led the league with 112 points and an unheard-of 65 goals,. Although he has a solid supporting cast with Alexander Semin and Calder candidate Michael Backstrom on the wings, rising star Mike Green on defence and newcomer Cristobal Huet in net, this team will only go as far as their electrifying sniper takes them. Watch for Philly to throw everything they have at stopping #8.

The Flyers, last season's NHL doormats, have capped a remarkable turnaround by clinching a spot in the post-season with a new cast of characters. Although Martin Biron is the definition of a streaky goaltender, he has shown flashes of brilliance this year and, if he catches fire at the right time, can take Philly deep into the playoffs. GM Paul Holmgren performed miracle surgery on a pitiful squad this past off­ season by signing free-agent speedster Daniel Briere to a long-term deal and plying Joffrey Lupul and playoff performer Jason Smith from the Oilers for practically nothing. All three play­ ers have reached the conference finals before and this experience will prove invaluable in maintaining team focus and emotion and will supplement the raw talent of evolving superstars Mike Richards and Jeff Carter, who had breakout years this season with 126 points be­ tween them.

Prediction: Philadelphia in six —AS.

(1) Canadiens vs. (8) Bruins u

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While eighth-ranked teams sometimes put up a scrappy fight against over-confident top seeds, don't expect any fireworks in this series unless they are red, white and blue as Montreal has completely owned the Bruins this season, sweeping the season series 8-o. The Habs will look for Carey Price to channel the spirits of past Canadiens'greats Ken Dryden and Patrick Roy, who both backstopped Montreal to Stanley Cups in their rookie campaigns, each winning the Conn Smythe Trophy in the process. With solid goaltending, Montreal has been able to focus on its front lines and even-strength scor­ ing— the team's Achilles heel in recent sea­ sons— and have developed exceptional depth led by Chris Higgins, Tomas Plekanec and su­ perstar Alexei Kovalev, who has found renewed enthusiasm for hockey and led the team in points.

Montreal also boasts the NHL's top power-play, quarterbacked by All-Star blueliner Andrei Markov, so Boston will have to stay out of the penalty box to have any chance of stick­ ing with the Habs. The big question in Montreal is whether captain Saku Koivu and defensive stalwart Mike Komisarek will be able to return from injury in time to contribute.

Although a tough team seemingly made for the rough-and-tumble style of playoff hock­ ey, the Bruins don't have the horses to run with the blazing fast Habs, especially without All-Star forward Marc Savard, who is out with a broken back. While goalie Tim Thomas has had an im­ pressive campaign and behemoth defenceman Zdeno Chara will pound smaller Habs players in the corner, the Canadiens assault will prove too much for the Bruins to handle. The only hope for the Bruins is that their 8-o sweep at the hands of Montreal this year will provide enough motivation to overcome their obvious deficiencies.

Prediction: Montreal in four — Aaron Sigal

(1) Red Wings vs. (8) Predators

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(2) Sharks vs. (7) Flames

It's fairly common to take the Red Wings' brilliance for granted these days, as the team captured home ice and the Presidents'Trophy to a resounding chorus of indifference, but don't underestimate the considerable skill and veteran savvy of the boys from Hockeytown. Detroit has two great forward lines, led by Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg, but they really owe their success to the play of perennial Norris Trophy candidate Nicklas Lidstrom. Lidstrom is both the catalyst on the power-play and the team's best defensive player, so their postseason success hinges on him maintaining his MVP form. The Red Wings' biggest weakness is in net, where 43year-old Dominik Hasek is a shadow of his former self and back-up Chris Osgood's play has fallen off since the All-Star break.

Nashville shocked almost every hockey prognosticator by making the playoffs after an exodus of talent this summer seemed to leave the Predators better suited to chase the first-overall pick in the draft lottery than Lord Stanley's mug. The Predators have thrived on great goaltending from Dan Ellis and bal­ anced scoring from Jason Arnott, J.P. Dumont, Martin Erat and Alexander Radulov. The real reason for their success, however, has been the play of young defencemen Shea Weber and Ryan Suter— the two best-kept secrets in the league. If Nashville's two young studs can continue to play well-above their age level, the Predators might be able to steal a couple of games from the vastly superior Wings.

Prediction: Detroit in five

—M.C.

(3) Wild vs. (6) Avalanche

Despite a slow start to the season, the Sharks have slowly and quietly played their way back to top form just in time for the play­ offs. While they lost their last two regular sea­ son games, the Sharks have a healthy squad led by Patrick Marleau, who finished the sea­ son with 19 points in 20 games after a mostly lacklustre campaign. Meanwhile, despite icing a team that looked solid on paper, the Flames were lucky to make it into the playoffs. Goaltender Miikka Kiprusoff has had a mediocre season at best, and while Jarome Iginla had another 50-goal year, he also scored 32 more points than the Flames' next highest scorer, Kristian Huselius. With this weak offensive pro­ duction, it is highly unlikely the Flames will be able to breakdown the Sharks'solid defensive unit, bolstered by trade deadline acquisition Brian Campbell. Since Campbell's arrival, the Sharks have gone 16-2-2; their penalty killing unit finished the season third overall, while the power-play came in at a respectable tenth. To add to the Flames'trouble, Sharks netminder Evgeni Nabokov, whose league-leading 46 wins and top three goals against average, will undoubtedly make him a Vezina trophy candidate this year, has the skills to send San Jose on a deep run. While the Sharks boast an impressive defensive unit, they still remain of­ fensively high-powered. Dion Phaneuf and the rest of the Calgary blue line will have to contend with Marleau and Joe Thornton. The series also marks Iron Mike Keenan's return to the playoffs, his first appearance since he coached the St. Louis Blues to a second round loss in 1996.

Prediction: San Jose in five — Sam antha Chang

The last time Minnesota and Colorado met in the post-season the Wild upset the Avs in seven games, sending Patrick Roy into retirement. After missing the post­ season in 2007, Colorado barely made the cut this year despite building a team that looks slightly reminiscent of the team they iced during their glory days. While Adam I Foote and Peter Forsberg have returned the mile-high city, the Avs were bitten by the injury bug all season. The injury-plagued Avs must be able to weather the inevitable physical play from Minnesota's Chris Simon, Derek Boogaard and Todd Fedoruk if they hope to have any chance of advancing to the second round. The Avs will also need netminder Jose Theodore to continue play­ ing like his 2002 self in order to shut down j Marian Gaborik, who is having a career seaI son, Pavol Demitra and Miiko Koivu.

Meanwhile, Minnesota will look to I improve on last year's post-season perfor| mance when they were easily dismantled j by the Anaheim Ducks, 4-1. The Wild have dominated the Avs this season (5-2-1), but will need Niklas Backstrom to continue his stellar play of late to shut down perennial playoff stars Joe Sakic and Forsberg. Min­ nesota coach Jacques Lemaire will rely on | his patented defensive system operating at I its best in order to shut down Marek Sva| tos, Wojtek Wolski and scoring leader Paul j Stastny, who has so far managed to avoid the sophomore jinx.

Prediction: Colorado in seven — S.C.

(4) Devils vs. (5) Rangers The preseason rumours of New Jer- ! sey's demise were greatly exaggerated, as GM Lou Lamoriello somehow managed ) to ice a winning lineup despite losing | several key players to free agency in the j offseason. Under new coach Brent Sut- j ter the Devils have played a much more j up-tempo game, but still rely on stifling j defence and brilliant goaltending from ( Martin Brodeur to win games. Offensively j they are led by young star Zach Parise, j but they have plenty of playoff experi- j ence from the likes of Patrick Elias and j Jamie Langenbrunner to balance out the | scoring. New Jersey also has a marquee j checking line, led by perennial SelkeTro-1 phy candidates John Madden and Jay | Pandolfo, that will get under the skin of easily distracted Ranger's star Jaromir Jagr.

The New York Rangers have been j maddeningly inconsistent all season, | looking sublime one game and then sub-1 par the next. On pa pec they are by far the more talented team, especially since Jagr ) seems to have developed some great | chemistry with young Brandon Dubin- j sky late in the season. The Rangers have depth up front, with the likes of Scott j Gomez, Brendan Shanahan, Martin Stra- j ka and Chris Drury, but their defence is j paper-thin and too soft for a long playoff | run. Goaltender Henrik Lundqvist is tal- j ented, but he is unproven in the playoffs j and can't match Brodeur's three Stanley ) Cup wins. Ultimately, teams with goal- j tending, a solid blueline and at least one | good checking line have an advantage j in the playoffs, and the Devils trump the j Rangers in all three of those categories.

Prediction: New Jersey in seven — M a tt C hesser l

(4) Ducks vs. (5) Stars Lost amidst the excitement of Washing­ ton’s stretch drive and San Jose's late season dominance is the fact that the defending Stanley Cup champions have lost only six games since Feb. 5 and have dominated their opposition since the return of Scott Niedermayer and Teemu Selanne from quasi-retire­ ment. An injury to Corey Perry will force Ana­ heim to juggle their lines during the playoffs and leaves them without one of their best marksmen, but it's defence and team tough­ ness, not goal scoring, that will determine the Ducks'success. Anaheim also regains the services of trained ape Chris Pronger, who is fresh and rested after serving an eight game suspension for stomping on the leg of Van­ couver's Ryan Kesler.

Dallas made a splash at the deadline by acquiring Brad Richards from the Tampa Bay Lightning, but they still don't have a pure goal scoring line that can dominate the opposi­ tion. The underrated Sergei Zubov is injured and may not play, which is a huge blow to the Stars' playoff hopes and puts enormous pres­ sure on Marty Turco to sweep away past play­ off disasters. Anaheim can effectively shut­ down Dallas's offence with their All-World checking line, led by Samuel Pahlsson, and a top four defence that will pound the smaller Stars into the sick bay. Even if Turco plays as well as he did in last year's first round loss to the Canucks, the Stars have almost no chance of avoiding yet another early exit from the playoffs.

Prediction: Anaheim in five — M.C. j

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Sports report cards R E D M E N B A SK ETB A LL

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The Redmen cagers got a few figurative monkeys off their backs this season: win­ ning their own Redbird Classic Tournament for the first time since 2000, taking out na­ tionally-ranked Windsor along the way, beating Concordia for the first time in 21 tries and finishing at .500 in conference play for the first time since 2002. But McGill was plagued by inconsistent play that yielded such results as a five-point road win and a 30point home loss to UQAM. Occasional lapses in intensity and focus eventually caught up to them, and they fell to Laval in the QSSF semifinals, ending the year 15-16 overall and 8-8 in conference action.

The squad's improvement over last season, in which they won only two non-con| ference games, was largely due to newcomers G Moustafa El Zanaty and PG Samuel j j Goulet. El Zanaty often provided a spark off the bench and led the Redmen in scoring, j I averaging 17.8 points a game, but the Red 'n' White's leader was once again F Sean An- j | thony, who averaged 15 points and seven rebounds while playing almost 100 minutes | I more than El Zanaty, the next highest player.

The Redmen lose the services of Anthony, El Zanaty and FYannick Chouinard next ; j year, so G Matt Thornhill, whose points per game average dropped three points from last J I year, will have to take over the reins. It will be difficult to duplicate this season's success, 5 j but if Coach Craig Norman can limit his team's mistakes and get solid play from Goulet I | and Thornhill, McGill could surprise perennial powerhouses Laval and Concordia.

MVP: Sean Anthony Player to Watch: Samuel Goulet — Jacob Kanter I

REDM EN HOCKEY

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Although McGill ultimately fell short of capturing the program's first ever National Championship, , the 2007-08 season will go down as one of the best in the 132-year history of the Red 'n' White. The Redmen set a school record for wins in a season (33), posted an 8-1 record in post-season play and captured the program's first OUA men's hockey championship—-the Queen's Cup— in 62 years.

After finishing second in the OUA East, the Redmen stormed through the playoffs, reeling off consecutive sweeps of Carleton, ADAMSCOTTI Queen’s and top-seeded UQTR in im­ pressive fashion. They then pulled off another upset by defeating the Brock Badgers 4 -1 to capture their first Queen's Cup since 1946 and ensure themselves of a high seed at the national championship tourna­ ment. McGill entered nationals as the hottest team in the country, winners of seven straight games, but were effectively eliminated from contention by a 7-3 shellacking at the hands of the eventual national champion Alberta Golden Bears. Despite having virtually nothing to play for, other than pride, the team put in a spirited effort in the final game of the tournament and dashed the championship hopes of the Moncton Aigles Bleus with a 3-0 victory.

The list of outstanding seasons from McGill players is almost as long as their roster, but in particular G Mathieu Poitras and D David Urquhart led the team throughout the season. Poitras had an overall .929 save percentage and eight shutouts in 38 games, while team captain Urqu­ hart was a catalyst at both ends of the ice for the Red ‘n’White, equally comfortable on both the penalty kill and the power-play. Unfortunately, the Redmen could be losing up to 11 players in the offseason, including Poitras, Urquhart, leading-scorer Shawn Shewchuk and National Cham­ pionship All-Star Guillaume Demers.

MVP: Mathieu Poitras Player to watch: Simon Courcelles — M att Chesser

M ARTLETS HOCKEY

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We all know for better or for worse that McGill, for some reason, has shunned the A+ grade from its campus, but after the historic year posted by the Martlets hockey club, there really is no other possible mark that does this team justice. Establishing itself as arguably the best and most dominant varsity squad Athletics has ever assembled, the Martlets went undefeated in official CIS competition, compiling a 25-0-0 record, and, including all exhibition play, boasted a gaudy line of 37-4-0, with two of those losses coming at the hands of Harvard, arguably the top female university hockey program in the world. Over the course of the spectacular campaign, McGill, backstopped by both an air-tight defence led by under-22 Canadian stalwart Catherine Ward, and Canadian Olympic goal medalist goalie Charline Labonté, who earned an astronomical 26 shutouts, only surrendered 33 goals— a mind-boggling number.

HUGEGALDONES Despite the seemingly absurd statistics, the Martlets under the guidance of Head Coach Peter Smith, who was promoted this year to lead the Canadian national women's team, had post­ ed phenomenal seasons before, yet had never captured the ultimate CIS prize, the national championship, having been upset in last season's title match by a plucky second-seeded Alberta Pandas. This year's edition, however, spearheaded by the line of CIS rookie of the year Ann-Sophie Bettez, captain Shauna Denis, and Quebec-MVP Vanessa Davidson, ended the hard luck as they cruised undefeated and unscored upon in three games at the CIS finals in Ottawa, including a 2-0 defeat of the Laurier Golden Hawks in the championship affair, to capture McGill's first national championship in any female varsity program.

While most teams see a drop in play after a dominant championship run, expect the winning days to continue at McConnell Arena as under-22 Canadian stalwart Catherine Ward and defence partner Cathy Chartrand will continue to improve as they try to crack the Canadian national roster and Smith will be able to use his immense drawing power as the top female coach in the country to recruit elite athletes to McGill.

MVP: Charline Labonté Player to Watch: Ann-Sophie Bettez

For the tenth consecutive season the outmatched Martlets finished I with a losing record, and failed to show any signs that next year will bring different results.

With every starter returning from a squad that posted an encourag■ing 7-9 record in 2006-07, McGill looked poised for a successful season and the school's first winning record since the 1997-98 campaign. But the * team was plagued by inexperience, lack of a dominant inside presence (and shoddy defence against taller opposition.The ladies in Red 'n'White I lost eight-straight games to finish with a 2-14 record and miss the playoffs for the first time since the 2002-03 season.

The Martlets were led by G Nathifa Weekes, who was named to the 1QSSF second team All-Star squad, but even she failed to live up to the promise she showed the previous season, when she was named conferM A RTLETS VOLLEYBALL B j ence defensive player of the year. F Catherine Parent and PG Christine The Martlets narrowly missed out on a nationals berth this J Kennedy also had decent seasons, but both were prone to cold-streaks fi season, losing a decisive third game to the Sherbrooke Vert et Or in j and inconsistent shooting throughout the year.

Things don't look much more promising for the Martlets next year, the playoffs, but things look promising for the young squad head­ ing into next year as most of their key players will return for another j unless they find a way to teach height to their undersized players, but season.

I the team is still young and will return all their starters to the court next The ladies in Red'n'White finished the regular season ranked 1season. sixth in Canada, after posting a 15-6 record to finish third in the ultraMVP: Nathifa Weekes j| competitive QSSF. That earned the Martlets a semi-final match-up Player to watch: Kelsey Binns I ______ _____ — M .C J| with Sherbrooke, with the winning team advancing to both the 1 QSSF final and, more importantly, ensuring themselves a spot at THANK YOU NOTE I the national championship tournament. After trading 3-0 sweeps in We'd like to extend a huge thank you to everyone who contributed I the first two games of the best-of-three series, the Martlets couldn't tto the section this year. 'Without your contributions, the section wouldn't overcome the experience of the Vert et Or in the rubber match, suf­ j have been nearly as strong as it was. fering a 3-1 defeat that ended their season.

The Martlets were led by first-team All-Canadian power-hitter 1hank you to senior ed. We don't really know who we were supposed j Jennifer Thompson, who finished third among QSSF scoring leadto report to this year, so well keep this generic. j ers and 11th in the nation, with an average of 4.03 points per game.

J First year Sarah Howell, who ranked tenth in digs per game with an Thanks to Sam Chang, our tireless design editor, for her work on our j average of 2.89, was also named to the CIS All-Rookie team. sets this year and her adorable, yet futile, devotion to the Canucks.

While the team will have to replace QSSF All-Stars Valerie Savard and Gillian Johnson, who are both graduating, the Martlets Thanks to our photographers who lock plenty of ,ipo,ts Illustrated return a solid core that should challenge for the conference title worthy pictures and made the games look a lot more exciting than they and a spot at the national championship tournament next year. actually were.

MVP: Jennifer Thompson Player to watch: Sarah Howell And lastly, thanks to anyone out there that read the Sports section — M.C. together.

ADAM SCOT1

Ç l «5 SPECIALS: PROSTITUTION, BIKES A N D A SIDE OF MASHED YAMS

TRYTHE ANGUS STEAK! (CHEW WELL, IT'S HARD TO SWALLOW)

Grand opening of the Tribune and Grill!

Nine dollar pitchers! Also, nine dollar pictures!

S pirgen S pringrolls It was a tense and panicked atmosphere at the grand opening ofTheTribune and Grill last Thursday night when Editor-in-Chef Tif­ fany BokChoy revealed the Shatner building's newest student-run initiative.

"We wanted to start a restaurant with all the delicious journalistic integrity of the Tribune and the financial viability of a bar and grill,"Choy said.

The concept of the restaurant was de­ veloped during divorce litigation between the newspaper and the student organization.

When it was discovered that SSMU would in fact be losing money in the deal, a new agree­ ment was hashed out allowing theTribune to remain under the organization's purview.

"We feel that the restaurant is more rel­ evant to students," said SSMU VP Clubs and Services Marcelle Kosman, chowing down on one of the Grill's specialty burgers. "No one reads the Tribune but everyone can appreci­ ate a quality piece of meat."

While the newspaper retains edito­ rial autonomy over menu content, SSMU will have the final say on all articles appearing on placemats in the restaurant.

"We needed to show them that we're in charge," said President Jake Itzkowitz. "We're like the abusive husband instead of the negli­ gent boyfriend now. Maybe this isthe way to finally get them to stop their whining."

The business plan of the upstart restau­ rant was based on that of the infamous Hoot­ ers restaurants.

"They were already advertising on our Web site. We figured this was the next logi­ cal step," said Executive Chef Perle Onions. "If people are going to link the two, we might as well make it work in ourfavour."

Featuring specials like the Ben Lemieux Minority Report Plate and the ByronTau Capi­ talist-Misogynist-Conservative Combo, eve­ ryone will be able to find something that not only satisfies their hunger, but also their sense of moral outrage.

Overall, the opening was an over­ whelming success with all the stars of the McGill world making an appearance, includ­ ing the Tribune and Grill's sister paper, The

McGill Daily.

Discouraged by the long lines and outraged by the blatantly sexist advertise­ ments, Daily staffers were returning to their basement office when hostess Femi 'n' Chips yelled out, "Don't leave! It's a big fun mess in here and there's always room for one more!"

Even amidst the chaos and confusion, Triblets were ecstatic at the prospect of in­ creased wages.

"We're getting $2 an hour!" exclaimed bus boy Mac 'n' Chesser. "That's $1.99 more per hour than we used to get.”

Bat the Tribune and Grill is serving up more than tasty meals; it is sending a mes­ sage of environmental sustainability.

"Our burgers, like our paper, are made from 40 per cent post-consumer material," Choy said proudly. "I'm all for going green as long as it saves me some green."

The Plate Club has also offered its serv­ ices to theTribune and Grill but was turned down.

"We'd have to hire someone new to wash all those dishes,"Onions said."That's not something we can do on our budget.”

Since the Grill is equipped with a full liq­ uor license, President-elect KayTurner is plan­ ning on making theTribune and Grill the new hotspot for student partying.

"As part of our initiative to keep student life on campus, we're encouraging students to bring their parties here. It may not be the classiest place in town but where else can you get juicy gossip and juicy steaks on the same table?"

When asked about the viability of a res­ taurant and grill in Shatner after the years of deficit run by Gert's, VP Finance and Opera­ tions Imad Barake was optimistic.

"With a smoking hot manager like Choy, all the boys will come running," he said. "Her milkshakes, I mean the restaurant's milk­ shakes, bring all the boys to the yard."

Choy, on the other hand, attributes the success of the restaurant/paper to good mar­ keting.

"I've delegated advertising to the staff and they've done a great job," she said. "Delegating is the way to get stuff done."*

NIKI FRYDE RICE In co m in g E d ito r-in -C h e f M a c 'n' C h e sse r d is p la y s o n e o f th e T rib u n e a n d G rill's c la ssic dish e s.

NIKI FRYDE RICE T h e se d e lic io u s v e g g ie s w ill a d d s o m e m u c h -n e e d e d m u sh to an o th e rw is e g re a s y p a lla te .

SARAYOUSEFNESALAD P a stry C h e f C a ra m e l Yates d o u b le s as w a itstaff.

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SSMU linked to prostitution ring

E d ito ria l w ith the p u rc h a s e o f an e d ito ria l o f eq u al o r le s s e r value* ‘ Some restrictions apply.

SSMU breaks ties with students, Silverman becomes unelected ruler P erle O nio ns Current President of the Students' Society and local celebrity Jake Itzkowitz stepped down yesterday morning after a wiretap initiatied by VP Internal Kay Turner linked him to a secret, extensive Shatner-based prostitution ring, oper­ ating for months under the façade of the "bike club initiative."

"I'm shocked and appalled— but I knew something was-a little fishy when I didn't see any bikes and they kept asking me about my riding preferences,"said Dan King, Arts Senator.

VP University Affairs Adrian Angus expressed similar surprise at the news. "So that's why Kay kept asking me if my kickstand was up," he said.

Imad Barake is currently facing charges for being the financial ring-leader, or self-titled pimp, of the organization.

"I was only whoring out the SSMUshies be­ cause I needed to pay for [former VP finance and operations Dave] Sunstrum's mistakes," he insist­ ed, licking his lips.

VP Clubs and Services Marcelle Kosman is also currently under investigation, having been one of the most vocal supporters of the bike ini­ tiative earlier this year.

"I won't make this long-winded, because it's not really my place to say anything, but it's a complicated situation that requires careful delib­ eration and I'm not going to go on and on, be­ cause I want to get rid of this crazy idea that I'm really long-winded because it's just completely not true, but the relationship between SSMU

and the bike club initiative is obviously problem­ atic, but I'm remaining neutral on the matter,"she said.

"When I kept seeing Jake Itzkowitz standing in his office in a thong, a red light should have gone off," said VP External Max Silverman in a press conference this morning, denouncing all ties with the scandal. "However, the whole thing has caused me to have an epiphany. It wasn't La Fédération étudiante universitaire du Québec, the Canadian Federation of Students or the Trib­ une that were fundamentally problematic. The prostitution scandal is a clear demonstration of the sour relationship between SSMU and the students. We must cut and run immediately."

Shortly after, Silverman passed a motion in Council formally breaking ties between the stu­ dent body and SSMU, creating a new Students' Society to be titled, "You and Max Silverman."

Within the past few hours, YAMS has en­ forced military rule on campus, under the au­ thority of none other than former SSMU Presi­ dent Aaron Donny-Clark, who was exposed by the McGill Enquirer just last year for being a Rus­ sian Spy and deported back to the motherland shortly after. Donny-Clark was spotted earlier this week in various locations on campus sport­ ing an elaborate military disguise.

After the Council decision, Silverman re­ portedly stood on his chair, threw on a red cape, and began flailing his arms and cackling wildly.

"Jake's a douche!" he shrieked. "Non-hierarchical power will be mine!!!" ■

O u r C h ick e n N u g g e ts, m a d e w ith a t le a st 45 p e r ce n t real ch ick e n , a re g u a ra n te e d to be a hit.

Kids' Menu SSMU Council calls for copies of the Tribune to be used as alternative energy source Last night, SSMU Council passed a new environmental ordinance to make the campus more sustainable by requiring all 11,000 weekly copies ofTheTribune and Grill to be burned to power the Shatner Build­ ing.

According to Daily Coordinating Editor Drew Nelles,"TheTribune is hardly read by anyone. It's a shame to let all that paper to go waste. Why not burn it for energy?"

The resolution was the brainchild of a joint Plate Club-GRASPéMcGill Daily-QPIRG taskforce and was introduced to Council by incom­ ing VP External Devin Alfaro.

Tribune Editor-in-ChefTiffany BokChoy appeared befuddled.

"This is the first I've heard of this. SSMU Council should have con­ sulted us before pushing such a motion. The Tribune and Grill is a news­ paper and menu— not a power source."

— General Tau's Chicken

Turner changes Facebook status to "it's complicated" Shockwaves spread throughout the McGill campus last night when campus politico Kay Turner changed her Facebook status from "in a relationship" to "it's complicated."

Turner refused to comment on the issue, telling reporters to check her Facebook soon as she is working on an elaborate note to explain the situation. We have been informed that Editor-in-Chef Tiffany Bok Choy will be tagged when the note is posted.

When asked if the change was related to the recent scandal sur­ rounding the bike collective prostitution ring, SSMU President Jake Itz­ kowitz denied the rumours.

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman," he said, but re­ fused to elaborate further. Itzkowitz's Facebook status has not changed and has claimed that he and Kay will remain together until the end of the year. Whether this is a politically motivated decision remains to be seen.

Former SSMU presidential candidate and AUS president RJ Kelford has petitioned Elections McGill Chief Returning Officer Corey Shefman for a re-election to be held as soon as possible.

"A lot of people who voted for Kay were voting for team Kake, or Kitzkowitz, if you will," he said. "This changes everything."

Adrian Angus has denounced this petition, claiming that Kelford is also in on the prostitution ring and has been seen there on several occasions.

"Look at that beard. I think he has something to hide. Don't tell me that's not shady," he said. "Plus that hair totally makes him look like a chick."

In a press conference held in the former office of the'bike collec­ tive,'Silverman and Alfaro issued a joint statement expressing their con­ cern over the matter. The two, however, raised eyebrows of their own when they stepped onto the podium wearing matching assless chaps.

"I'm one of the executives that encouraged her to do it," explained Silverman, clutching Alfaro's hand. "It was a bold move but I feel it was the next natural step for her."

NIKI HYDE Y A M S b ra v e ly m o u n ts th e s tu d e n t b o d y in w a k e o f p ro s titu tio n sca n da l.

— Perle Onions and Spirgen Spring rolls

ESSERTS

COVER PHOTO BY NIKI FRYDE RICE

Tribune and Grill deem ed unsanitary Grill's first health inspection raises a stink G

raham

C

racka

After the recent independence of the Tribune, the editorial board's head office was relocated to an adja­ cent room beside what is now the kitchen of the Tri­ bune and Grill.

The new room is composed mainly of archival stacks of newsprint from the early 80s and loose sheets of cardboard found by rooting through SSMU's recy­ cling bins.

Editor-in-Chef Tiffany Bok Choy is behind the cre­ ation of the new office and the re-distribution of space.

"We would really have liked to use the more recent newsprint, but it's already been earmarked for use in the burgers, crab-cakes and other fibre-heavy dishes."

One of the many problems plaguing the new set­

up is fire safety. Grill reporters were on location when the inspector came to rate the new location.

"This is a fucking death trap. Honestly. You have an enclosed space made out of old newspapers situated less than ten feet from the open grill in the kitchen? One spark and this place will go up like the Challenger."

The fire inspector added that while he is not re­ sponsible for the health code, the idea of eating food prepared in a kitchen that close to the office made him envious of the dead.

The Tribune and Grill is also facing critiscism from the community. Their recent need for the waste card­ board coming out of the SSMU building has angered the Montreal protest assocation. Grassroots Assocaiton for Student Empowerment has issued a statement con­ demning the Tribune and Grill's use of what some con­

sider to be their most valid resource.

"The recent subjugation of the local cardboard re­ sources by the Tribune and Grill Is unacceptable. While GRASPé offers its condolences to the Grill, they have en­ croached on a constant traditional resource for the nu­ merous protest signs in Montreal. While we are willing to work out a long-term sharing solution to this issue, we must warn the Grill that if they don't reduce their immediate consumption of the materials, it will neces­ sitate a forceful retaliation."

To add insult to injury, the association was unable to mount a public protest because of the lack of card­ board for signs.

The Tribune and Grill has been quoted as saying, "if those anarchists want a fight, they've sure as hell got one." ■

A S K F O R O U R FIN E F R E N C H C U IS IN E !

Students find out Montreal is French "W hat th e fuck kind o f English is this?"

S ara Y o u sefn esa la d A recent survey has revealed that eight out often Mc­ Gill students are unaware Montreal is in Quebec. The sur­ vey, conducted by the McGill Alumni Association, brought to light the disturbing unawareness many students have of the city in which they spend, on average, four years.

The problem came to light th rough question 19 of the survey, which asks, "Why did you decide to attend univer­ sity in Quebec as opposed to other provinces? Please ex­ plain your response."

Students writing the evaluation were shocked and distressed by the revelation that Montreal is, in fact, in Que­ bec. Question 20, which mentions that Montreal is a bilin­ gual city, put many students in hysterics.

"It's just so shocking!"exclaimed the distressed Selinda Btronech, U3 political science. "Three people fainted and a few Torontonians went into seizures."

The Tribune and Grill arrived on the scene as the in­ jured students were loaded into ambulances.

"What the fuck is going on here? I thought I was in Canada\" screamed Michelle Geesaman, U3 religious studies.

Additional inquiries conducted after the survey re­ vealed several other startling misconceptions. Many stu­ dents mistakenly believe that the capital of Canada is Ot­ tawa instead of, as is common knowledge, Toronto. There is also a belief that 85 per cent of the average Canadian diet consists of donuts, poutine and maple syrup instead of— as is accurate— 86.5 per cent. ■

NIKI FRYDE RICE T h e T rib u n e a n d G rill u ses o n ly g ra d e -A , lo c a lly c lo n e d m e a t in o u r p ro d u cts . A lw a y s fresh! So w h y n o t try o n e o f o u r F ra n k e l-fu rte rs w ith y o u r S S M U sh ie s?

B eerverages S C A N D A L — T R Y W IT H O U R C L A S S I C M A R IN A R A S A U C E

Student language interests dishonoured Klingon commissioner actually from Toronto S a u teed S em ley

m an mixer," Torg said, a dding that he has heard reports in th e past o f M'yak-Ny'ghcka calling a

T he SSM U initiative to recognize its m ultilingual fab­ ric hit another snag last w eek w hen a Council m eeting re­

"bat'leth"a "batllft" and ordering m ochaccino , as o p p o se d to th e traditional raktajino, at Caférama.

vealed that student language am bassadors are not what

W hen reached for com m ent, M'yak-Ny'gchka

they appear. During last Thursday's SSM U council meeting,

d em urely confessed that he is only half-Klingon,

Klingon Am bassado r David M'yak-Ny'gchka was rushed to

his m other being a native o f the planet Qo'noS

Royal Victoria Hospital after choking on a com p lem en ta ry

and his father a w ealthy Toronto lawyer from Rich­

N anaim o bar. W hile M'yak-Ny'gchka recovered, the m ed i­

m o n d Hill and native o f the planet Earth.

cal diagnostic conflicted with several c o m m o n ly held as­ sum ption s regarding Klingon anatomy.

"Mr. M y'ak-Ny'gchka didn't possess a single redun­

"It was really hard for m e grow ing up in the Toron to suburbs and being the only kid in school w h o spoke Ihlngan Hoi," said th e disgraced lan­

dant organ, he was com p letely human," said Isabelle

g u a g e com m issioner. "Even the French kids m ad e

Perusse RN, w h o treated the Klingon language co m m is­ sioner at Royal Vic. Perusse's conclusions raised eyebrow s

fun o f me."

M'yak-Ny'gchka

around cam p us and stood in stark contrast to w hat little

w hether or not he will step d o w n from his posi­

refused

to

com m ent

on

kn ow led ge o f Klingon physical com p osition the m edical

tion after his recent depa'ntsing.

c o m m u n ity possesses.

"Well, a ccording to a fifth season N ext G eneratio n ep i­

asked how the loss o f a language com m issioner

sode," said cultural studies graduate student Craig Lapson,

w ould, affect the presence o f Klingon students

"We're

pretty visible," said

G orkon

w hen

"Klingons have 23 ribs, tw o livers and an eight cham bered

on cam pus. He pointed to his ridged brow and

heart." Lapson, w h o is currently c o m p letin g his PhD disser­

flashed his serrated teeth. "We speak a different

tation on a u ton om y and liberation in the Klingon opera

lang uag e and throw stuff at p e o p le w e d eem d e ­

A ktuh a n d M e lo ta , believes that these recent m edical find­

sirable mates. N obody's g oin g to forget that we're

ings co u ld seriously disgrace the on -ca m p u s Klingon p o p ­

around."

ulation M'yak-Ny'gchka represents.

SSM U was hesitant to offer in-depth c o m ­

"This is an outrage!"confirm ed Klingon student Auloh

m ent on the issue, th o u g h President-elect Kay

G orkon, U3 religious studies and tem poral m ech a n ics.“For

Turner prom ised better screening to ensure that

this g uy to just c o m e out o f the blue and try to represent

future la n g u a g e com m issioners represent stu­

o u r interests?! It brings the undergraduate Klingon c o m ­

d en t interests, m aking m ention o f “experim ental

m unity great dishonor."

eugenics." For thé tim e being, Klingon students

D 'VokTorg, president o f the Klingon Stu de nts'A sso­ ciation, claim ed that this is not the first tim e a shadow has been cast over M'yak-Ny'ghcka's identity. Claim s that the

are m ore co n cern e d that M'yak-Ny'ghcka be p u n ­

NIKI FRYDE RICE

ished to the full extent o f the SSM U bylaws.

"He should be strapped aboard the Barge o f

"One thing's for sure," he added. "Just like [messianic

Klingon C om m ission er is actually a native Ontarian have

the Dead and drifted into the hereafter, or at least have the

Klingon prophet] Kahless the Unforgettable, the McGill

surfaced before.

g o o d sense to c o m m it ritual suicide,"said Lapson, referring

Klingon co m m u n ity is b ou n d to fill an ocean with their

"Our suspicions w ere first aroused w hen w e saw him sm oking Belm ont M ilds and drinking La k ep orta tou rfresh -

to tw o c o m m o n ways o f dealing with spiritual hum iliation

tears."*

a m o n g Klingons.

E C O T I P — K E E P O N T R U C K IN '

Memo from the future

Our descendants say: "We're fine!"

VlNCCISSOISE

from th e future and said that he had been conversing w ith his great-g rand children for several w eeks now.

A recent e-m ail addressed to M cG ill futurolog y

"I d e v e lo p e d this softw are that w o u ld allow m e to

professor M arty M c F ly revealed that w e d on't need to

access data from th e future and w as shocked to dis­

w orry a b o u t b u yin g dream H u m m e rs or eating lunch

co ver that th e w orld hadn't e n d e d in 2012," said McFly,

from styrofoam boxes after all. A c co rd in g to McFly, an

referring to th e e n d o f th e M ayan calendar. "Suddenly,

e-m ail he received from his "grandchildren's children" re­

this e-m ail p o p p e d into m y in b o x .T h e girls w ere d oin g

vealed that ou r generation's excessive co n su m erism has

a sch ool project in w h ich th e y had to send a fake e-mail

had no effect on their livelihood.

to an ancestor. T h e y fo u n d m y old business cards and

"We're d o in g fine; we're really happy," reads th e email, signed by W e n d y and W anda M cW a sp and dated Apr. 8, 2048. "They discovered oil in Bhutan five years ago, so w e can run all our o ld e r te c h n o lo g y again."

T h e M cW asps a d d e d that Q u e b e c's e c o n o m y is b o o m in g as scientists discovered h o w to fuel every­ th in g with m a p le syrup w h e n th e w orld oil su p p ly was

a ccid enta lly sent it to m y address instead o f their te a c h ­ er. T h e y w ere just as surprised to g et an e-m ail back."

M cFly a d d e d that he had always been sceptical o f th e environ m ental m o v e m e n t and was relieved that he c o u ld keep eating in th e Shatner b uild ing w ith o u t jo in ­ ing th e Plate Club.

In response to the news, there has b ee n a flux o f

critically low.

“T h e Bloc [Quebecois]'s threats to separate are now

students o u t o f the faculty o f environ m ent.

b eing taken seriously," they wrote.

seem s like this isn't th e w ay to d o it," said David Gray-

T h e sisters stressed that th e present environ m ental

"I always w an ted to m ake a d ifference and n o w it D onald,

U2

environ m ental

biology,

w ho

recently

m o v e m e n t has "no scientific basis" and that co n su m er

ste p p e d d o w n from his p ost as co o rd in ato r o f o p e ra ­

d e m a n d s for sustainable d e v e lo p m e n t and hesitance to

tions at Gorilla C o m p o stin g . "I thin k I'm g o in g to major

c o n s u m e will o n ly slow th e econ om y .

"You're n o t paying attention to th em now, bu t if

in fu tu ro lo g y now , to learn w hat will m ake a difference and d o a M asters in that."

you keep on w orrying a b o u t sustainability you'll only

Paul W isem an, associate professor in physics and

slow th e e c o n o m y and C hina is just g o in g to take over,"

chem istry, w as unsure that M cFly has b ee n receiving

th e M cW asps w rote. "In our lifetim e, they revoked Al

m essages from th e future in th e first place.

Gore's N ob el Prize. O u r history textbooks call you the

"I haven't been able to take this g u y seriously since

S low -D ow n G eneration. You need to start co n su m in g ,

M cG ill hired him," W isem an said. "I m ean, he studies fu­

p ollu tin g and filling those landfills if you w ant to keep

turology! W e m ig h t as well g e t so m e astrology and Sci­ e n to lo g y professors on board if we're g o in g to invest in

up."

M cFly is c o n v in ce d that th e e-m ails really d o c o m e

these sorts o f sciences." ■

J - C a jjtp y

4

th

C ove m o m m y

‘B i r t h d a y , a n d d a d d y

C rudités Photo Essay: Spending Change in Vegas The T ribune and Grill's Photo Editor Niki Fryde Rice is currently braving the conflict ridden streets o f Las Vegas to furth er her "Ahrt".

Her report from the frontlines shines a lig ht into an oftforgotten corner of the first world.

Top Left: It's sun.

Throu g h the clouds.

Doesn't the inherent conflict and terror of the w orld just strike you? The horror, the horror?

Top Right: D o children in third world countries need your money, or do barely-legal, barely clad luscious young ladies? This moral dilem m a is, surprisingly, not what drives people to the Pussycat dolls lounge.

Left: M anhattan AND a Rollercoaster. Whilst not an explicit com m ent on the carnival-esque nature of the m odern m etropolis the Casino, NEWYORK NEWYORK can nonetheless be seen as an excellent exercise in postm odernism .

Right: No I didn't go to France, I'd m uch rather experience the g lory of the French culture w ithout the messy language barrier. A nd look, a pool!

S u g g e s t io n B o x Service / Information and Interest of Topics

Food / Content

cheesy for m y taste.

M y d octor has banned m e from ordering the G e n ­ eral Tau special because it raises my blood pressure to an offensive level.

The Ben Lemieux Minority Report Plate left a bad

Food / Content

taste in m y m outh.

M ore mayo on the tuna surprise, please.

Cleanliness / Presentation Cleanliness / Presentation

Cleanliness / Presentation

The new spaper article that my fish-sticks cam e w rapped

in contained

over four spelling

mistakes.

I took offence to the cover p hoto with a captive el­ ephant. FLY DUM BO, FLY!

Cut d ow n on the fancy graphics! C ould barely enjoy my film review for the circular ham burger all the text had to w rap around!

Doesn't anyone read this stuff before it goes to print?

Value for money Value for money Fairly poor. I could have learned m ore about pro­

Pretty good. Liked the colour-m e-SSM U exec flyer that cam e with the children's meal.

gressive cam pus politics at any suggested-donation M idnigh t Kitchen meal, hands-dow n.

Value for money T he capitalist mentality behind the Tribune & Grill ensured a hefty price for m y hamburger. I am urging all sous-chefs and line cooks to strike.

Service / Information and Interest of Topics Food / Content

Your bias is atrocious. Protecting the McGill nam e

Service / Information and Interest of Topics Re: Veggie lasagna served with a side o f "Dr. X or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the McGill

at the cost o f revealing the horrors o f animal-testing at McGill labs is unacceptable.

I nearly had a heart attack after eating the Tiffany Bok C h oy with extra fries and grease. Keep up the g ood work!

Health Centre" (01/04/08): found the article a little too

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK! AS OUR VALUED CUSTOMERS, WE APPRECIATE YOUR FEEDBACK ON THE DINING EXPERIENCE AT THE TRIBUNE & GRILL. PLEASE TAKE A MOMENTTO COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING FORM AND WE WILL POST EACH AND EVERY SUGGESTION ON THE NEXT MENU. EVERY 50TH PARTICIPANT WINS A GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR ONE MEAL AT THE TRIBUNE & GRILL! (MAXIMUM VALUE $ 1.99, TAXES NOT INCLUDED)

! !

I

P A R R Y & S Q U IR T

T rtbuM

M u s ta rd vs. civil lib e rtie s

w ww.tribuneandgrill.com

Editor-in-C hef Tiffany Bok Choy ruletheworld@ tribuneandgrill.com

Executive C hefs Perle Onions Spirgen Springrolls

<

it i

C aram el Y ates and A ndrew F rankel - furter There has been a no n-standin g deb a te over the virtues o f civil liberties versus m ustard— a deb ate

A thousand tang filled tubes couldn't save a society void o f questionably fashioned but. un­

Furter grinds Caramel's argument: The Evil

w hich has w ra cked the souls o f a lm o st n o one. Here, tw o Tribune chefs deb a te this co nten tious issue.

deniably delicious hot dogs. A less enlightened

Empire may not have deigned to forbid its im­

meat-like

poverished peop le the brief succor o f savouring

products for the greater g ood , leaving mustard-

spreadable godliness, but that hardly proves no

civilization

m ight

ban

mysterious

execchefs@ tribuneandgrill.com

Caramel fires up the grill: Mustard is one o f the

heads holding the jar. Civil liberties ensure that,

eviler d espot will ever forbid all condim ents on

m ost versatile foods on the planet next to ketch­

no matter how ill-conceived your intentions

a whim. But an authoritarian autocrat w ouldn't

up or things that can be microwaved. To limit

m ay be, you're free to enjoy mustard how ever

need to childishly ban his subjects from the

Line C ook A ndrew Frankel-Furter

oneself solely to a discussion o f civil liberties is to

you please.Those w onderful variations from the

seed to impair their enjoym ent o f it. Imagine if

em brace death, for what is life w ithout the liquid

standard yellow sauce you m ention are a perfect

a master c h e f were to d evelop the perfect secret

frieswiththat@ tribuneandgrill.com

yellow m agic that is a tube o f French's? Consider,

example. Although none m ay com pare to the

sauce, only to have his m asterpiece recipe seized

if you will, dijon mustard, with its white-wine

Tribune's EDMD, w e live in a better world w hen

by the state. No mustard's heat could thaw the

tang, or honey mustard, the perfect com p lim ent

chefs are free to experiment.

chilling effect such an injustice w ould have on

P rep C oo ks

Thom as Quail Eggs Eggs Kenedict Vinccissoise prep@tribuneandgrill.com

Sommillier G eneral Tau's Chicken wine@tribuneandgrill.com

Pastry C hef Marjadi Curry Caram el Yates dessert@tribuneandgrill.com

Bakers Old Man Glinter Sauteed Sem ley bread@tribuneandgrill.com

Bus Boys Mac'n'C hesser Seagull Steak canwetakethat?@

future culinary endeavors.

to hot dogs w hich m ay or m ay not be m ade out o f pigeons. A nd -consid ertheT ribu ne’s ow n Extra

Caramel lights things on fire: But w h o says you

Delicious Mustard Delite, m ade from seeds sown

need freedom to enjoy a w ell-blended c o n d i­

Caramel wins by default: Regardless o f all argu­

in our very ow n carpet and pressed using our

ment? Oppressed thou gh they may have been,

m ents to the contrary, I think w e both know that

dysfunctiohal scanner. You just can't buy that

peop le in com m unist Russia still had the ability

mustard is superiour. So com e on dow n to the

sort o f quality.

to savour mustard— a substance w hich itself has

Tribune and Grill and have som e today! Order

a long, flavourful and violence-ridden history.

our Mustard-licious Dish, your choice o f meat

Furter spreads it on thick: Caramel's jab at civil

Mustard takes the cake— and the ketchup, pick­

with five times as m uch mustard, or buy the Tri­

liberties misses the point: w hat g o o d are c o n ­ dim ents w ithout the freedom to enjoy them?

les and onions— w hile civil liberties are a dish served bitter and tasteless; best not served at all.

the case. ■

bune and Grill's Extra Delicious Mustard Delite by

T R IB U N E A N D G R IL L P U B L IC E D IT O R

Everything a-okay with the Tribune and Grill this year It's all just so fantastic!

tribuneandg rill.com

sh a d o w y figure Kun Sun.

D ave S unstrum aka S unny D

But overall, this has b ee n a great year for

BUTCHERS

w indow s!

This

c o lu m n

is su p p o se d

to

be

500

w ords or som eth in g , bu t everything w as just

Niki Fryde Rice Sara Yousefnesalad

few

th e h u m b le Tribune. Recent und er-the-table

m ore grey hairs. Luckily, I'm p leased to re­

deals w ith H ooters and th e C a nadian A rm e d

so great this year that I'm g o in g to leave it

blood@tribuneandgrill.com

p ort that everything is a-okay w ith th e Trib

Forces (w hich are o w n e d by th e sam e e c c e n ­

at this and g o back to m y slum bers. See you

this year. N o p ro b le m s to report whatsoever.

tric billionaire tyrant w h o plans to bankroll th e

next year, w h e n I'll u n d o u b te d ly be h a p p y to

Dishwasher C han Chow der

This year saw th e T ribu ne acquire so m e great

T ribu ne into in d e p e d e n ce ) have ensu red that

report that there w ere just n o p rob lem s at all,

contributors, w ith great articles p e n n e d by

o u r fine p a pe r turns yet a n o th er tidy profit

o n c e again.

soap@tribuneandgrill.com

th e elusive A u th o r N a m e and th e equally

for th e SSMU. A n d th e w ind ow s? By G o d , th e

A n o th e r

year

gone

by— a n d

a

P.S. I'm high. ■

Hostess Femi 'n'Chips reservations® tribuneandgrill.com |

Stewards Salm on Chang Graham Cracka bacteria@tribuneandgrill.com

Butler Paul Slachta jeeves@yourang.ca

Delivery Boy C had Ronald-M cDonald

T ribune F ranchises

It's nearing the end of the year— an important decision-making time for many students. Will you get a job or go to grac school? Will you be returning next year? And in answering these difficult questions, it’s important to remember, whatever you decide: joining the army is better.

Please note: This is not a paid advertisement. We just really, really want you to join the armed forces.

I mean, think about it. You could get your standard job, or you could shoot stuff with other stuff and have the time of your life. After all, what better way to validate your own existence than by violently ending someone else's?

Joining the military affords you many opportunities, such as the opportunity to gain dignity, respect and a well-developed sense of fear. It also pays well, particularly when you consider that you get all sorts of excellent discounts on services such as Via Rail (and even better discounts if you flash an M-16 at the sales desk). It encourages budgeting, as it's hard to impulsebuy when you're spending most of your time face down in a muddy forest somewhere with no toilets, let alone a Wal-Mart, in sight (please note: we also support Wal-Mart and other big-box stores. Hang in there, guys!).

So forget finishing your degree, forget your boring crappy life and forget those kids who beat you up in preschool and who have ruined everything good that might have happened for you since. Because those guys? They're wussy bastards who will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes and you'll be the trigger-happy officer that puts them there.

Dining Shatner University Centre Suite 110,3480 Mctavish Montreal, QC H 3 A 1X 9 T: 514.398.6789 E: info@tribuneandgrill.com

A dvertising Sick Bay Suite 1200,3600 McTavish Montreal, Q C H 3 A 1Y2 T: 514.398.6806 F: 514.398.7490

The Tribune an d Grill is a culinarily autonom ous menu published by Chartwells in collaboration with theTribune and Grill Publication Society. Dishes served do not necessarily represent edible food. Suggestion box submissions may be handed to the wait staff. Submissions judged by theTribune and Grill Publication Society to be libellous, sexist, racist, hom ophobic or solely promotional in nature will not be published, unless we feel like it. The Tribune a n d Grill reserves the right to abuse all patrons. Editorials are argued over and pasted from Wikipedia ten minutes before the print deadline. Both our newspaper and our appetizers are guarenteed to contain 40 per cent post-consumer content. All other opinions are strictly those o f the author and d o not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Tribune an d Grill, its cooks or waitstaff. Please recycle this menu and return all crayons to the hostess.

A T T E N T IO N

G R A D S 2008

Better get your photo taken to be included in O ld M cG ill 2008.

This is the only campus-wideyearbook Take thegoodtimes alongj $25.00 gets you a photo sitting $48.00 txs. inc.

Jostens is an official supplier of graduation rings to McGill University Available at H F Photo Studio

gets you a campus yearbook

LISTED BELOW ARE T H E DATES FO R T H E FACULTY PH O T O SESSIONS

A r t s F a c u lt y ...

Open for booking appointments P H O T O A P P O IN T M E N T S (514) 499-9999 2057 Stanley Street