Asbestos, the best therapy animal

Eliza Wang Contributor

Look no further, fellow McGillians, our struggles have come to an end.

We at The McGill Tribune are pleased to announce the recruitment of a new therapy animal, commonly known by its endear- ing name asbestos, who is easily accessible to students and faculty alike. No need to schedule a visit to the Wellness Hub—all you have to do is take a stroll to the Stewart Biology Building at the downtown campus, or really any available university building for our readers over at Macdonald campus. Seek, and ye shall find yourself spending quality time with our new campus pet, free of charge.

TikTok is an institution, and we are its humble students

The

AnnaClare Sung Contributor

It’s 1:00 p.m., and I’ve settled comfortably on my couch after a harrowing day of class. With last night’s leftovers in hand, I pull out my favourite entertainment receptacle–– the iPhone––and begin a tricky balancing act, placing the bowl between my legs, a fork in one hand and my phone in the other. I unlock my phone and go immediately to the one app that will satisfy my ache for productivity: TikTok. The app acts as a fresh-pressed juice of self-indulgence, escapism, and education—the only means to easily absorb the internet’s vitamins and minerals.

The week of March 5, the United States Senate backed a bill that would support a ban on TikTok.

Do take a moment and appreciate the brilliance of this solution. Instead of spending more money on improving our student wellness services or renovating deteriorating buildings (as any sane post-secondary institution would do) our beloved university is offering a unique, yet cost-effective opportunity to form deeper connections with this historic species, one who has accompanied us for decades, keeping our homes, workplaces, and schools warm.

McGill Tribune attends first international tournament as newly minted varsity team

Fordham University devastated in rage cage grudge match

Madison Edward-Wright and Michelle Siegel Managing Editor and Arts & Entertainment Editor

It was a crisp fall morning in October when The McGill Tribune’s varsity Stack Cup team piled into the car to begin our journey. Where were we headed? New York City. What were we doing? Team bonding—and taking on our first challenge as a varsity team. We trained for months, gathering at each other’s apartments to practice our throws and pong ball bounces from dawn till dusk. So, when the Bronx came call- ing, we answered. Bags in hand, all we had to do was stop at a bodega to pick up our equipment. The tournament was hosted just outside of Fordham University: An academic powerhouse with a decorated 182-year history, making it the perfect location for a prestigious competition.