9 minute read
No Magic Needed for a Great Mother’s Day
Moms want to be appreciated and pampered (and maybe left alone for a little bit)
BY EMILY REILY
Moms don’t often ask for much, but on Mother’s Day, we’re a tad particular. And why shouldn’t we be? It’s our only “official” day off the entire year.
This is a 24-hour, 365 days a year job, with its own unique challenges that are tailor-fit for mom. (By the way, anyone can be a mom: dads; parents in nontraditional households and same-sex marriages; families in mixed-generation homes, etc.)
Here’s a small sample of the job description: Moms are unquestionably there for you, even if you mess up. Moms impart wisdom, make you a sorely needed bowl of soup without asking, and remind you that it’s OK. Moms are supposed to have all the answers. Moms pay attention to us even when we think they’re not — they’re superhuman like that. They never allow themselves a day off, even when they’re sick, yet they wouldn’t trade the role for anything else.
Mother’s Day celebrates overcoming these challenges. It’s for brunches and bouquets, and creating homemade cards with heartfelt messages.
It’s a day to thank mom for all the hard work. But this year, what about thinking outside the Hallmark box?
As a mom myself, I like to have time alone that day to do whatever I feel like doing, whether that’s browsing a bookstore or planting some flowers, visiting a tea house, getting sushi with a friend or sleeping in. But what do other moms want on that special Sunday?
I searched Reddit recently for some mom-anonymous perspectives, and their unfiltered responses are telling.
One mom wrote, “I feel invisible most of the time.”
Another asked for “acknowledgment. That’s all. A phone call or a visit. Just a chat over a cup or glass of wine.”
Still others asked, “To be left the bleep alone,” while more requests hint at a lack of human decency: “A whole day to be a person and not a mom,” wrote one frustrated caregiver.
“Do her job for her, for one day,” said another.
There’s a pattern here. Moms feel underappreciated, even ignored.
One mom said she asks to have her car detailed every year, yet never receives the gift.
These sentiments aren’t just found on anonymous social media sites – they’re evident in everyday conversations between caregivers while their kids are jumping around out back during a playdate.
Many moms face an ongoing battle for equity regarding household and family duties. Several shared that they felt like they were carrying the “mental load” for the family, and there’s some truth to that. Moms are also always preparing for any impending family disaster or event — planning birthdays, scheduling playdates, making sure there’s TP in the house …. rinse, repeat. When they can’t keep up with it all, the mental pressure and fatigue sets in.
At least one mom on Reddit wanted to “make no decisions on where/what to eat” for Mother’s Day, a time often associated with brunch, a classic outing for that day. But it’s easy to forget that except for the no cooking / no cleaning part, when the entire family goes out to eat, the regular rules still apply – getting the kids dressed, keeping them on schedule, making sure the “mom bag” of diapers, wipes and supplies is ready to go, and plenty more.
“Organize child care so you can have a date night. Plan a family outing,” suggested one mom, offering a not-so-subtle reminder that organizing family events has been in mom’s Rolodex for generations.
Regardless, you know your mom best, so really think about her needs and what she might want. Don’t just assume flowers and a card is a safe fallback. Surprise her with something fun or something she wouldn’t think you’d remember. It could make all the difference.
First, one of the easiest ways to let her know she’s appreciated is by simply saying “thank you” — no need to break the bank with a pricey gift.
Offer to make breakfast or dinner, or both, or pick up the daily chores. One day “away” from the regular routine is thank you enough.
Moms love their own personal space and crave free time alone, but they really do want to spend time with the family as well. Watching the tube or binging a favorite sitcom doesn’t always “count.” Moms want quality family time, because that’s where special moments can be made. This means putting down the phone and video games to play Scrabble or Exploding Kittens around the kitchen table, throwing the ball around outside, or hanging out at a local park with no agenda.
Maybe your mom wants a homemade, thoughtful gift. Some years, I get a lovely card from my daughter, but it’s the crafty presents that I treasure most. One year, she made me chimes from a circle of wood and various keys that she had colored. I have one very simple picture that she drew of us hugging, and it’s one of my favorites.
Well in advance, listen to moms to find out how they want to spend their Mother’s Day. Better yet — just ask them. They are probably bursting to tell you.
Our sidebar contains more out-of-the-box ideas, including in-home spa package delivery, unique social events, tips for thrifty shoppers and more.
Does your mom love grabbing a good bargain? Look no further than New Hampshire’s wide variety of antique and thrift shops, some of which benefit a good cause. Does she like to be pampered on the special day? A spa day might fit the bill. Or would she rather be surrounded in roses? It can be done at a formal rose garden right off the ocean. A gift card to any of the below shops and experiences will be sure to put a smile on mom’s face.
FOR THAT ONE-NIGHT SOLO GETAWAY
Garrison Hotel & Suites, Dover and Durham > It’s upscale, it’s quiet and it has a pool. What more do you need? thegarrisonhotel.com
FOR A SPECIAL DELIVERY
Baskets New Hampshire can deliver custom items in endless categories. Add a bottle of wine, some bath products in a galvanized bucket or a picnic basket, and your gift is complete. What has your mom been talking about lately? basketsnewhampshire.com
FOR THAT SPA DAY
Wentworth By the Sea, New Castle > This spot has several fabulous spa services. Before your appointment, take a dip in the spacious heated hot tub, then choose from a manicure, pedicure, a variety of massages, whatever you fancy. You’ll feel like you’re a thousand miles away. opalcollection.com/wentworth
Mountain View Grand Resort & Spa, Whitefield > Give mom the best life can offer with this magical getaway in Whitefield. mountainviewgrand.com
True REST Float Spa, Keene > Immerse yourself in one of the sensory deprivation water “eggs” filled with Epsom salts during a 60-minute therapy session, then take in the oxygen bar. Float your troubles away. truerest.com/locations/keene
Fleuresh Restorative Spa, Manchester > Fleuresh is perfect for staycations, babymoons, and, of course, Mother’s Day. In addition, there are hydrafacial and other skincare services, scalp treatments, holistic facials, meditation and massage, body treatments and day packages. Try their “Sensory Massage Journey” to see where it takes you. fleuresh.com
EXPRESS YOURSELF
Paint your piece of the sky during a DIY class at Art Escape in Laconia. Choose from a variety of pottery, paint on canvas, or explore their new blacklight splatter room. Art Escape offers classes and walk-in hours. artescapenh.com
SET UP A PHOTO SHOOT
Finally get that family portrait that mom has been asking for at Birch Blaze Portrait Studio. birchblaze.com
ENJOY A WINERY TOUR
Through June 30, Averill House Vineyard in Brookline hosts “Bottle Your Own Experience Sundays.” Experience wine-making with your besties during this two-hour event. You’ll get to make your own wine, then craft and bottle it to your liking. Enjoy charcuterie treats, and enter the tasting room to try several different wines. averillhousevineyard.com
BLOOMING ALTERNATIVES
Fuller Gardens, North Hampton > Fuller Gardens, a public botanical and estate garden just off Route 1A, boasts about 1,700 rose bushes with 125 varieties in all shapes and shades. By Mother’s Day, the gardens should be in full, transcendent bloom. This working formal estate garden also features a dahlia display garden and a Japanese garden.
Fuller Gardens officially opens Mother’s Day weekend. Pick something from their Mother’s Day Weekend plant sale, May 10-12 from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. fullergardens.org
Extra points: Instead of a bouquet that fades in a week, why not buy a shrub or rosebush in their favorite color and plant it so that it returns every year? Or maybe mom has a bare spot in her garden for a few perennials and annuals. She’ll appreciate the effort.
FIND A GOOD BARGAIN
Just The Thing, Dover > This little shop is always surprising. From framed vintage artwork to art deco, Just The Thing has a quaint but cute and eclectic style, offering gifts and antiques from local sellers. Visit the store for seasonal items, jewelry and furniture. Facebook
Children’s Orchard, Newington > This consignment shop is stuffed full with bargains for moms – baby and kids clothes in all ages, toys, books, shoes, playpens, bikes and whatever else is on trend in kids’ attire. Find cool gently used outfits, some at deep discounts. Facebook
Outfitters Thrift Store, Manchester and Concord > All sale proceeds benefit the Families in Transition program. Facebook
