16 minute read
Band of Sisters
Rugby gives women a chance to showcase strength and tenacity
By Brion O'Connor
On any given Saturday each fall, rain or shine, dozens of women gather on Granite State playing fields to do battle. They may differ in size, age, and physical gifts, but every one of them is as tough as nails.
That's a nonnegotitable trait to play rugby.
“Rugby is not for the faint of heart,” says Nottingham’s Kerry Folkins, 45, who plays for Great Bay Rugby/Seacoast Women’s Rugby, and is the corporate engagement director for the Greater Seacoast Region of Granite United Way.
“It’s a badass sport that requires a tough mental fortitude and the ability to embrace fear," Folkins says.
Rugby, as both a sport and a community among men and women — as well as youth and old-timer programs (see sidebar) — is flourishing in New Hampshire. The reasons are myriad.
“I cannot emphasize enough how special the rugby community is, and I want to emphasize how important it is to me as a woman,” says Vanessa “V” Burton of Manchester, who plays for Amoskeag Rugby Club. “There’s this societal expectation and pressure about how women should behave. Women are supposed to be quiet, delicate, thin and pretty, and fit this mold or standard of appearance and behavior. In rugby, all those expectations are challenged.
“You can be big and loud and strong and fierce, and not only are you accepted for it, but you are celebrated,” says Burton, 29, an assistant director of student accounts at Southern New Hampshire University. “Beyond that, you don’t have to fit any gender mold to fit in to rugby. You can be gay, queer, nonbinary or any gender identity and the rugby community will accept you for who you are.”
For the uninitiated, a rugby match looks like controlled, or barely controlled, mayhem, with adult women thumping into each other at full gallop. That kind of “interaction” between the 30 athletes — 15 a side — can lead to a spike in emotional temperatures. Ask any player what the attraction is, and invariably, one word bubbles to the surface: passion.
“Rugby is such a passionate sport, and people that play, have played, or are some part of the community feel deeply about it,” Burton says. “I think a lot of the passion does come from the contact of the sport. In every game, we are literally putting our bodies on the line for our teammates. Our bodies are tight together during every scrum. We physically protect the ball and protect each other, and we have to rely on our teammates to do the same.”
Similarly, Lily Pudlo of Dover, 24, who plays for Seacoast Rugby, says: “The physicality inspires a lot of passion. You can’t, for lack of a better term, half-ass rugby.”
“For one thing, you’ll hurt yourself if you don’t commit to your tackles or stand your ground in a ruck,” says Pudlo, a UNH graduate student. “For another thing, it’s not fair to your teammates if you’re not giving 100%.”
Make no mistake — rugby is a physical, often violent, game. It’s almost difficult to watch from the sideline, with flesh and bone smashing into flesh and bone as tacklers try to bring down the ball carrier.
“There is nothing better than tackling an opponent to the ground,” says Seacoast’s Caley Nevin, 32. “It makes me feel so strong and mighty for a small, 5-foot, 1-inch, 130-pound human like myself.”
Amoskeag’s Paige Laprise can empathize. While a sophomore in college in 2010, Laprise, a longtime soccer player, was encouraged to try rugby by her roommates.
“I kept saying I couldn’t play because I’m too small, and they said there was another small girl on the team who did just fine and to try,” says Laprise, 32, an occupational therapist from Manchester. “After I realized I could tackle girls twice my size, I fell in love. It was such a confidence boost.”
Dover’s Liz Chicknavorian, who plays for Seacoast, was introduced to the game decades ago as a spectator. “When I watched (partner Bob Winchester) play, I would worry about him, and watched to make sure that he emerged from a tackle unscathed,” says Chicknavorian, an attorney for Akamai Technologies. “When I started playing, I didn’t have that same worry about myself. I had a job to do out on the pitch.”
On close inspection, it’s easy to see how American football “evolved” from rugby. In both games, the goal is to outscore your opponent, with competitors tallying points by carrying the oblong rugby ball over the try line (goal line in football), or kicking the ball through the uprights.
But unlike American football, there is no blocking, and no forward passes (which might disappoint fans of the aerial fireworks often seen on the gridiron today). The games are 80 minutes long, not 60, and combatants will play both offense and defense. Some positions sound like they were pilfered from a Willy Wonka screenplay — loose-head prop, tight-head prop, scrum-half, fly-half and hooker.
There’s still a premium placed on speed and strength, but there’s precious little padding. Hard-plastic shoulder pads, hinged braces and helmets with face guards are prohibited. At best, players are armed only with a mouth guard, neoprene sleeves, and a soft-padded “helmet” for preventing the dreaded “cauliflower ear.”
“People are always shocked when I tell them that the only piece of protective equipment we use is a mouth guard,” says Dover’s Jeseca Wendel, 32, president of Seacoast Rugby and a public relations and community outreach manager. “But there are a lot of measures put in place to ensure players' safety. Rugby players are taught from day one not only how to tackle safely, but also how to fall. It's all about body mechanics.”
The result is a game that’s a fascinating mix of finesse and brute force, plus aerobic and anaerobic effort. There’s also a significant amount of strategy and skill, which is sometimes lost in the pandemonium on the pitch.
“It is incredibly difficult to learn this sport. There are so many rules and specifics,” says Amoskeag’s MaryAlyssa “Maddi” O’Connor, 27, who started playing in 2023. “It really comes with time and practice. Every time I lace up my cleats, I learn something new.”
Teamwork, players say, is absolutely essential.
“Nothing can be achieved on the field unless we have each other,” says Burton, 29. “Sure, there can be standout players and star athletes, but regardless of skill, no one can be successful without their teammates backing them up. I think that sense of passion, that sense of closeness, carries off the pitch and into the greater community of rugby.”
In other words, everyone matters. There are no unimportant positions. Ethnicity and skin color don’t matter. What matters is whether players can do their job.
“Rugby is like dominoes. Every action is a ripple effect resulting in success or failure,” Pudlo says. “If the forwards crash and ruck, then the scrum-half can get the ball out to the backs, who can then use the space the forwards provided to run the ball down the field for a try.”
Many players admire that while many contact sports, such as hockey and lacrosse, have been tamed for the “fairer sex,” rugby makes no exceptions. Kate Miller, a scrumhalf for Amoskeag who played ice hockey and softball growing up near Buffalo, says “the best part about rugby is that it is the exact same game for men and women.”
“The ball is the same size, the field is the same size, and all the rules are the exact same,” says Miller, 29, a middle school physical education teacher. “That’s so refreshing after growing up not being allowed to check because we played girls’ hockey.”
But the real best part? Almost anyone can play, provided they can take the punishment. Burton says she has “always described rugby as the ‘catch all’ for lost athletes, in a good way. You can be short, tall, big, small, a star athlete or have never played a sport in your life, and there’s a place for you in rugby.”
Amoskeag’s Morgan Jones first started playing rugby in 2012, when she joined the Vermont Law School team while working toward her law degree. “My now ex-husband had a friend whose girlfriend was playing with the team, and we went to watch a game, and I fell in love with it at first sight,” says Jones, now 43. “I kept rugby, ditched the husband.”
“I’ve never played another sport. I never fit in another sport, as a nerd with no decent sprint speed,” she says. “I went from zero to 80 minutes of rugby battle.”
Jones’ teammate, Savannah “Sav” Hunter, a case aide with Nashua Division for Children Youth and Families, says “if you look at our team in plain clothing, lined up next to each other, I bet you wouldn’t be able to tell they all play rugby.”
“We have a ballerina, we have weightlifters, we have parents,” says Hunter, 28, the mother of an 8-year-old son. “That’s the beauty of the sport. You just need to be an open-minded person with a willingness to try something new. If there is one trait we all share, it’s dedication.”
Differences go far beyond body types. “Honestly, that’s one of the cool things about rugby — there doesn’t seem to be a type,” says Amoskeag’s Christine Topliff, 38, a systems engineering manager with L3Harris. “I’ve met introverts, extroverts, people who never played a sport, people who have never done contact, people who have played hockey, soccer, did track, etcetera.”
“If I had to describe a trait that they all seem to share is not only a drive to be a part of a team, but a strong sense of self and perseverance to be good at whatever they do,” Topliff says.
Pudlo says she “never had true community until I found my first rugby team in college. I didn’t like the party scene and always felt out of place. But when I started celebrating with my rugby team, something was different. People always checked in with one another to make sure they were having a good time and if they needed anything.”
“For my entire adolescence, I had been a bit of a loner, disappointed by a lot of my friends in the past and unable to really connect with a group,” she says. “But rugby welcomed me with open arms and made me feel valuable and accepted. The nature of the game values connection and respect are unlike any sports team I’ve ever been a part of.”
Burton echoes similar sentiments. “Most rugby players join for something new to do, but they end up finding so much more than a sport,” she says. “They find a sense of belonging and a safe space to be themselves.”
The action on the pitch is typically take-no-prisoners intense. The game’s sheer physicality helps to build strong bonds that nurture an unshakeable sense of camaraderie.
“Rugby is hyper-inclusive and creates a community through shared experience,” says Dover’s Naomi Connelly, 40, a sergeant first class in the United States Army. “In high school, track was the ‘inclusive’ sport. There was an event for everyone, but you still competed individually. In rugby, there is a position that requires every kind of person in a true team effort.
“Are you big? Perfect, you’re a forward. Are you small? Awesome, you can slip through tackles. It takes all kinds to make an amazing team,” Connelly says. “Further, once you play rugby, you have a weird little cult-like connection with rugby players around you. There are aspects of the game and the culture that truly are only understood once you have been a rugby player, and you keep those aspects for life.”
That mindset extends far beyond the playing field. The game is defined by an overwhelming sense of respect and sportsmanship between combatants. The shared post-game handshakes, high-fives and hugs are genuine. Often, teams gather for a few adult beverages.
“When your sport requires physical contact to the level that rugby does, there is a much greater level of respect between players. There has to be,” Connelly says. “We’re all vulnerable out there. That’s likely why we have less crazy injuries than football players — we have to know how to give and take a hit, how to move, how to land — and the other team learns this as well.
“When I get rocked on the field, I’ll be the first to tell whoever just flattened me that it was an excellent hit. We’re intrinsically linked to everyone we play. That respect creeps out of the field and into what happens afterward,” she says. “On the flip side, when a team doesn’t get it, when they believe that everything is fair game, or they play dirty, other teams will let them know it’s unacceptable, either overtly or through a slow distancing. We don’t hang out with people who don’t uphold that level of respect.”
Though the players are women, they still represent the time-honored maxim that “rugby is a hooligan’s game played by gentlemen.”
“Even though it involves a lot of contact, and everybody wants to win, what matters more is the spirit in which we play the game, and how we treat our teammates, our opposition and the match officials,” Chicknavorian says.
Bruised and busted up
While a rugby team may provide a “safe space,” a rugby field is not. Every player accepts that injuries are the collateral damage, and acceptable risk, of the game. Matches end with most players sporting uniforms stained with grass, dirt or mud. Most will also have bruises, scrapes and cuts. Few finish a game without the requisite aches and pains.
“I won’t lie. I’m usually sore after games,” Burton says. “The soreness means I pushed my body to be the best I could be for myself and for my team. I’ve suffered a few bruised ribs and have shaken up my head a few times, but I’ve never had any serious injuries or anything that has required surgery.”
In a strange way, that’s also part of the draw. “I’ve been lucky enough not to have had any serious injuries so far, nothing requiring significant medial intervention,” Jones says. “I don’t know how long I’ll keep playing. Since I’ve made it to 43, it seems like I might as well play at least until 50.”
Amoskeag captain Molly Hildebrandt, in a match against the North Shore Monsoons last fall, suffered a compound fracture of her right forearm, her first serious injury in almost two decades playing. A month later, she was already looking forward to the next season.
“The arm is doing great,” says Hildebrandt, 36, of Manchester, whose husband Maciek Lewandowski plays for the Amoskeag men and coaches the women’s side. “Stitches are out, and I just have to be a little gentle with it for a bit. Two plates and 13 screws later, I’m bionic.”
Topliff’s list of injuries runs the gamut, including a sprained MCL, a dislocated shoulder, jammed fingers and toes, and almost too many stiches to count. “I keep coming back because there is nothing like this sport,” she says. “It’s the most therapeutic thing I have done for myself, both physically and mentally. It gives me a solid reason to work out, and it gives me a place to put my frustrations and stress.”
“I plan on playing for as long as it makes sense,” Topliff says. “I was out last year when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I came back the very next season.”
In the same vein, Folkins says the real pain usually surfaces “the following day, when I feel like I got hit by a Mack truck. The adrenaline definitely shields you from feeling pain, until it’s gone.”
“I have broken my nose — had it set on the sideline — torn my ear, torn my left ACL, sprained my right and left MCLs, sustained a left shoulder subluxation, right knee subluxation, right shoulder second-degree separation, broken my left thumb and ring finger and split my head open above my right eyebrow, good for 26 stitches,” Folkins says. “I have never had a concussion. I keep coming back because I’m persistent and want to go out on my own terms.”
Perhaps the most difficult part of rugby, say participants, is giving it up. Even at 58, Chicknavorian says she keeps playing “because that ‘good’ hurt is addictive, and I am drawn to the physical challenge and the complexity of the game.”
“I’m the oldest player on the team, by quite a few years,” she says. “But I will keep playing as long as my body lets me.”
INTERESTED IN GIVING RUGBY A GO?
There are plenty of opportunities throughout the Granite State. Options include clubs that feature men’s, women’s, youth and veteran (or old-timers) teams. Most clubs compete during informal spring seasons, hosting unofficial scrimmages with other area teams (this is when many new players learn the game), and a formal fall season under the auspices of the New England Rugby Football Union.
Amoskeag Rugby Club Manchester / amoskeagrugby.netlify.app
Freedom Rugby Football Club North Hampton / freedomrfc.com
Monadnock Rugby Football Club/Wolfpack Keene / monadnockrugby.com
Seacoast Rugby Club/Seacoast Women’s Rugby Dover / seacoastrugby.org seacoastwomensrugby.org
Upper Valley Rugby Club / Mountain Men and Valkyries Lebanon / uppervalleyrugby.com
New England Rugby Football Union nerfu.rugby
