These truths are worth knowing and remembering

We live in an odd time, when identifying actual truth is getting harder and harder. Many disheartening factors are behind this reality, but I don’t want to get into that right now. Instead, I want to share a few things that seem irrefutably true to me.

As I noted in an earlier column, “We get too soon old, and too late smart.” The older I get, the truer this seems, especially for me personally.

Better late than never, though. With that I mind, here are four propositions I’ll hang my hat on.

1. Two things can be true at once. Too often in our politics, one side makes one argument and the other makes the opposite, when in reality there’s truth on both sides. Indeed, the full truth often lies somewhere in the middle.

The middle ground, however, involves nuance and shades of gray, which are never as gratifying as the blackand-white thinking that enables us to villainize the opposition. And letting go of an either/or mentality can be distinctly uncomfortable. It makes us set aside the perspectives we’ve come to rely on. We have to scrutinize our beliefs with an honest, open mind. We may even need to stretch a bit, which can feel scary.

If we do stretch, though, we may discover we can see our way to a reasonable meeting of minds. Perhaps, for example, we can see how it’s possible to protect Second Amendment rights while allowing for commonsense guncontrol measures. We can realize the one doesn’t necessarily preclude the other. Which could be very useful.

2. Blood is thicker than politics. Our political opinions can change over a lifetime, but family remains family and in this group I’ll include good friends. If the sharing of political viewpoints with those closest to you becomes too fraught, just stop. Agree not to go there. That’s how we handle it in my family. In today’s climate, it’s just not worth the hard feelings that can come from trying to change each other’s minds. Not talking politics leaves us free to discuss the things we have in common, things that can bring us closer together rather than tear us apart. Some families can make light of their political di erences and have fun with debating the various issues without rancor. If so, that’s great — go for it.

But sometimes political discussions are easier with people we aren’t as close to. I found that to be true with a Mountain Democrat reader who responded to one of my columns. This reader and I emailed back and forth several times on the topic of the validity of the 2020 presidential election. We strove to understand each other’s views and in the end we each conceded points to the other and were able to part as friends. That felt good.

3. Thinking small is the secret to success. We’re always told to dream big, but in fact the best way to achieve dreams of any size is to start with minute goals.

“All big things come from small beginnings,” asserts James Clear in his spectacularly successful book “Atomic Habits.” “The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision.”

His book, which has spent about a bazillion months on the New York Times bestseller list, promotes a concept I’ve always thought essential for getting yourself to habitualize those practices and routines you know you should be doing, but somehow aren’t.

For example, if you’d like to be walking 30 minutes a day — the way all health experts keep banging on about — don’t start by setting a goal of 30 minutes or even 20 minutes or even 10.

Start with five minutes. You can’t not find five free minutes a day, so this will enable you to form a confirmed walking habit. Once you have, bump the time up to seven minutes, then 10 and so on — but only after the habit at each time increment is firmly in place.

Success breeds success and this approach makes achieving each small goal practically guaranteed. Happily, this strategy applies to just about anything you’d like to change in your life.

4. An authentic apology is worth the e ort. It’s not as simple as you’d think, however. It wasn’t until I ran across the aphorist Robert Brault that I learned what truly makes an apology genuine.

In his illuminating collection, “Short Thoughts for the Long Haul,” he writes

■ See FORSBERG MEYER, page A7