Mom’s wisdom never fades

By Craig Dresang Special to The Enterprise

During the summer of 2022, I crossed an invisible mile marker, reaching a more advanced age than my mom did when she died. From that scorching August day forward, I felt that every new day would be uncharted territory. Mom’s atlas for aging into each year had now ended, and the world became flat. I asked myself, “What will happen when my life meanders off the edges of the map?” Living past 60 became an extraordinary and terrifying gift that I was forced to accept.

My mom forged a path through every possible challenge for precisely 21,928 days. Even in her last week, she was clearing the ground where she knew her children would need to one day walk.

Now, I wondered, “Where is the path for the 21,929th day and all the days beyond that?” On some level, living longer than she did meant that I could no longer be her Bubala. Instead, I just became an aging manbaby who still misses his mom. She never got to teach us how to walk into, and manage, all the trials and fears that come with aging into our 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond.

Most days, I feel simultaneously youthful and ancient. My spirit tells me that I am still a young boy who needs a hug from his mom and who longs to hear her warm raspy voice, but when I look in the mirror, the image of my weathered balding 60-year-old dad is staring back at me.

Mom once told me that she proudly wore every year as a badge of honor.

Aging is a random and mostly unearned gift that is not freely distributed to everyone. “Savor every year, and don’t leave too much inheritance,” she said. “Enjoy it while you can.” According to her, the idea is to spend your life and your wealth on people, things, and experiences that bring you and others joy. I remember her gently but firmly grabbing my chin with her hand to make direct eye contact with me and saying, “I plan on spending most of what would be an inheritance so don’t expect a windfall.”

This was a lesson she gleaned from living with cancer for two decades, and from unexpectedly losing friends who were in the prime of their lives. When I was still a toddler, my dad’s 30-year-old best friend keeled over from a heart attack playing cribbage at a card table in his living room. He was dead before the ambulance arrived. My own sister was born with a life-threatening condition and was not expected to live through her teenage years. Fortunately, however, advances in modern medicine along with a healthy dose of good fortune made it possible for her to reach an age that neither of our parents did. Living with the reality and unpredictability of death made my mom less presumptuous about life. She frequently talked about friends who worked years at jobs that they hated. In doing so, they were building a retirement fund so that they could one day enjoy life. “Foolish,” she would tell me. “What if they don’t make it to retirement? What makes them so certain that they will live that long? They should make the life they want now.” It was a good lesson for her to teach me at a young age. Our time here can be far too brief to chain yourself to a way of life that you hate for a future that is not guaranteed. Reaching retirement is an illusion dependent on a roll of the dice.

Just weeks before mom’s death, my sister Dawn and I pulled together a lastminute surprise celebration for her 60th birthday. The idea of throwing a party began as a random inkling. But soon, our hunch morphed into an unexplainable sense of urgency. Neither one of us really understood where this drive to pull off an eleventh-hour party came from.

We invited everyone ... her parents and five siblings, nieces and nephews, cousins and second cousins, lifelong pals from high school, and friends she made during her early years of raising three children. Even though we were unwilling to acknowledge or admit out loud that mom could die soon, the gathering at my sister’s house magically morphed into a final and unplanned celebration — and retelling — of her life.

The day was a living scrapbook where the characters in old photographs came to life and told stories. It was like she got to participate in her own memorial service and hear what people had to say about her. Colorful adventures and meaningful stories were re-lived with great affection and humor. Words and gestures of love were freely expressed and on full display. The humid Wisconsin summer air was filled with laughter and the smell of grilled burgers and freshly cut grass. The day was simultaneously perfect, joyful, and heartbreaking because we all sensed what it meant and what was coming.

Although mom put up a good front, we could tell that bits of her spirit and spark were disappearing, day by day. Her once strong and resilient body seemed vulnerable, and even fragile. She barely moved from her strategically placed lawn chair, have.” This actually makes patients feel like they need to “make their case” to a doctor, and sometimes causes them to say some things but leave out others to get a diagnosis that matches what they’ve found online. and her usual and unique way of projecting light and laughter was no longer effortless. It required every bit of her energy and focus. By the end of her celebration, she was clearly tired. Even so, she was determined to not spend the night at my sister’s house. Instead, she wanted to climb back into her sporty red Firebird and have my dad drive three hours to Galena, a scenic and historic Mississippi River town where the borders of Wisconsin, Illinois and Iowa come together.

So let’s reiterate: Your primary care doctor is trying to get you the best care, and that comes by way of talking to a triage nurse, not demanding specialty tests until other protocols are tried, and not asking Dr. Google to diagnose you.

“This is how you be your own best advocate,” she said. In upcoming columns, Dr. Mo and I plan to talk about some other noteworthy topics like end of life preparation, mental health and psilocybin, sleep, and how she discusses cannabis use with her patients.

— Tanya Perez lives in Davis with her family. Her column is published every other Sunday. Reach her at pereztanyah@ gmail.com. Follow her on Twitter at @californiatanya.

Looking back, I realize that mom understood that her time was short. The trip to Galena was her attempt to have one more adventure with her husband of 45 years. She thought it would be a mini-vacation for the two of them. It was her last hurrah. They had no advance plans or hotel reservations when they left the birthday party. Mom said they would figure things out once they got to their destination — and off they drove.

Days later, my dad told me that Galena was a bit of a bust. When they arrived, every hotel and motel in town had a “no vacancy” sign. Refusing to give up on the adventure, my mom decided they should improvise so they went to Walmart to buy pillows and a comforter. They put the seats down in the Firebird and slept in the car that night. In the morning, they returned the comforter and pillows to Walmart and then had breakfast at a downtown diner on Main Street. After coffee, runny eggs and toast, they drove past all the tourist sites and then headed toward home which was a five-hour drive north.

The party at my sister’s house would be the last time I saw my mom in her natural, free state. A few weeks later she was admitted to the hospital and never returned home. I have often shared with my sister that this last-minute out-of-the-blue party that we felt compelled to host on mom’s behalf was nothing less than the Divine whispering into our ears: “Have a party. Do it now. Surround your mom with love ... and do it today. Don’t wait!”

Quite unintentionally, this gathering was our final, and most significant, gift to our mom. It was a gift that would have been missed if she had not taught us how to listen and respond when life whispers.

— Craig Dresang is the CEO of YoloCares

YOLOlaughs

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Charles M. Schulz

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POWER TO SELL TAX-DEFAULTED PROPERTY (Rev. & Tax Code, Sections 3361, 3362)

Pursuant to Revenue and Taxation Codes sections 3691 and 3692.4, the following conditions will, by operation of law, subject real property to the tax collector’s power to sell.

1) All property for which property taxes and assessments have been in default for five or more years.

3) Any property that has been identified and requested for purchase by a city, county, city and county, or nonprofit organization to serve the public benefit by providing housing or services directly related to low-income persons and for which property taxes and assessments have been in default for three or more years.

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The parcels listed herein meet one or more of the criteria listed above and thus, will become subject to the tax collector’s power to sell on July 1, 2023, at 12:01 a.m., by operation of law. The tax collector’s power to sell will arise unless the property is either redeemed or made subject to an installment plan of redemption initiated as provided by law prior to close of business on the last business day in June. The right to an installment plan terminates on the last business day in June, and after that date the entire balance due must be paid in full to prevent sale of the property at public auction.

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The right of redemption survives the property becoming subject to the power to sell but terminates at 5 p.m. on the last business day prior to the date of the sale by the tax collector.

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UU Church of Davis, seeks 20-hour/week full-charge bookkeeper to provide accurate accounting and business records. Accounts payable, pledge/donations receivables, payroll verification and reporting, fixed asset reporting, employee benefit verification and reporting, monthly and annual financial reporting, annual budget compilation, and requested projects. Capable, well-organized individual, team player. Detail oriented, organized, mature, accurate, willing to take charge, able to multitask. Good communications skills. Working knowledge of MS Excel, QuickBooks or other accounting software a must. 2-3 yrs non-profit exp. preferred. $22.00/hour. E-mail resume with letter of interest, no later than Oct 2. to: office@uudavis.org

NOTICE OF PROPERTY TAX DELINQUENCY AND IMPENDING DEFAULT Made pursuant to Section 3351 3352 Revenue and Taxation Code I Chad Rinde Yolo County Tax Collector State of California certify as follows: That at 12:01 a m on July 1, 2023, by operation of law, any r e a l p r o p e r t y ( u n l e s s p r e v i o u s l y t a x - d e f a u l t e d a n d n o t r edeemed) that has any delinquent taxes assessments or other charges levied for the fiscal year 2022-2023, and/or any del i n q u e n t s u p p l e m e n t a l t a x e s l e v i e d p r i o r t o t h e f i s c a l y e a r 2 0 2 2 - 2 0 2 3 s h a l l b e d e c l a r e d t a x - d e f a u l t e d That unless the property is completely redeemed through payment of all unpaid amounts together with penalties and fees prescribed by law or an installment plan is initiated and maint a i n e d t h e p r o p e r t y w i l l b e c o m e t a x - d e f a u l te d a n d m a y b e s o l d s u b s e q u e n tl y a t a ta x s a l e t o s a t i s f y t h e t a x l i e n That a detailed list of all properties remaining tax-defaulted as of July 1, 2026, and not redeemed prior to being submitted for p u b l i c a t i o n s h a l l b e p u b l i s h e d o n o r b e f o r e S e p t e m b e r 8 2 0 2 6 That information concerning redemption or the initiation of an installment plan of redemption of tax-defaulted property will be furnished upon request by Chad Rinde 625 Court St Room 1 0 2 W o o d l a n d C a l i f o r n i a 9 5 6 9 5 t e l e p h o n e n u m b e r ( 5 3 0 ) 6 6 6 - 8 1 9 0 I certify under penalty of perjury that the foregoing is true and correct Chad Rinde Yolo County Tax Collector Executed at Woodland, Yolo County, California, on May 15th, 2023 Publ i she d i n D a vis En ter pr i se on M ay 21 s t M a y 2 8th a n d Jun e 4 th, 20 2 3 # 22 8 8 NOTICE OF IMPENDING

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The Hallmark Inn in downtown Davis is looking for a part-time bartender to work during our Evening Reception. In addition to pouring wine, beer, and making a variety of cocktails for guests and visitors, bartender must have good customer service skills. The Evening Reception is a time to connect with patrons of the hotel and therefore a strong work ethic and friendly demeanor is a must. Other duties include keeping the bar area clean, running dishes, restocking items, keeping inventory, and handling a cash register. Any questions- call (530)753-3600 ext.395 or drop off your resume at 110 F Street.

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Miscellaneous

ASSESSOR'S ASSESSEE AMOUNT NUMBER NAME TO REDEEM 1 035-231-014-000 OHS DONALD B ESTATE OF C/O MARIA RUIZ 95,188.00 2 067-270-039-000 DOUGLAS MICHAEL E 628.75 3 010-501-008-000 GARCIA ABRAHAM LINCOLN & GARCIA ABRAHAM LINCOLN 3,788.09 4 049-446-036-000 GRAJEDA MARIA S 2,726.37 5 010-501-007-000 GARCIA ABRAHAM LINCOLN & GARCIA ABRAHAM LINCOLN 422.71 6 003-480-038-000 ANGELO REV TRUST 13,645.82 7 006-242-003-000 MISTCHENKO LUCIE 5,806.45 8 051-101-010-000 HODGES SHAWN 6,867.11 9 003-460-013-000 ANGELES JESUS MARQUEZ 3,171.90 10 005-122-022-000 MOJICA ALFREDO 9,643.21 11 005-164-015-000 HERNANDEZ FRANCISCO JAVIER 3,345.04 12 005-626-017-000 HASELTINE REV TRUST 12,893.65 13 008-191-009-000 MEJIA ANTONIO & LUISA 3,972.53 14 008-191-011-000 PEDROZA LOUISE R 927.16 15 010-463-009-000 VENEGAS PEDRO M 3,241.14 16 014-261-010-000 GAMEZ RAUL H & SOCORRO 2,316.68 17 014-500-003-000 GARIBALDI FIORE TRUST ESTATE OF 2,602.05 18 018-140-001-000 TINDELL GRACE ASTER 3,469.58 19 027-450-019-000 ROSE DARREN 14,620.45 20 027-590-013-000 PUENTE SALVADOR 12,280.07 21 039-061-003-000 DECKER PATRICIA & MARK 80,532.94 22 039-193-019-000 KELLY JOINT REV LIV TRUST 2,036.51 23 043-010-004-000 DODDAPANENI SREEKANTH ETAL 6,875.71 24 043-292-016-000 PEREZ BETTIE D 13,839.99 25 045-421-008-000 ORTA JESSE J 28,059.97 26 051-201-014-000 MENDEZ ALEJANDRO M ETAL 2,243.95 27 054-160-019-000 AMERICAN CAPITAL EDGE LLC ETAL 3,655.35 28 058-101-007-000 GONYEA KELLY BARRETT 12,470.49 29 060-060-015-000 OSORIO INTERVIVOS TRUST ETAL 13,638.40 30 060-220-005-000 LESTER BOYD G 5,747.45 31 064-140-006-000 ELFRINK STACEY 38,997.05 32 065-090-041-000 DEEIK KHALIL G & G DEEIK 2001 LIV TRUST 1,261.48 33 065-300-025-000 RIGGS LUCILLE MARGARET ESTATE OF 10,270.97 34 067-290-007-000 PETROSYAN GARY 12,947.10 35 067-260-021-000 LEWIS MARCEL D 1,563.95 36 003-532-014-000 HERNANDEZ OSVALDO LOPEZ & VERONICA G 7,868.43 37 045-724-012-000 STANLEY KARIE R 481.40 38 049-572-005-000 GUADARRAMA CARDIEL VILLAGOMEZ 959.55 39 039-081-009-000 DIEHL MATTHEW L & ERICA 1,491.71 40 066-082-023-000 PLASCENCIA ELISA 905.90 41 060-220-060-000 TAYLOR ALAN R & VALENTINE 2,933.34 42 046-691-010-000 MARKLEY JESSICA PAIGE 140.03 I declare, under penalty of perjury, that the foregoing is true and correct. Chad Rinde Yolo County Tax Collector Executed at: Woodland, Yolo County, California, on May 12th, 2023 Published in: Davis Enterprise: May 21st, May 28th, and June 4th, 2023 #2287 Want to understand your iPhone better? (323) 533-8224

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Movie stars get Oscars. Athletes get trophies. Joseph wanted to provide a way to honor great writers. In 1917, he left money to start a school of journalism at University in New York. He also left money to start an annual award for outstanding journalists, and writers. These important awards are called

Are you an eagle-eyed reader? Circle the errors in the article below. Then, rewrite it correctly.

Last Teusday, our class read read an article in the newsppaer about the importance of child safety booster seats. In cars. The article sad that 80-90% of kids who should be in child safety booster seats are not. Children who are 4'9" and and under should be using these seats insted of adult safety belts when traveling.

What kind of car would you like to own someday? Find five words in the newspaper that describe your dream car. Write a classified ad for your dream car using the words you found.

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About Average

Find the ages of three people in the newspaper. List the ages from oldest to youngest. Circle the median (the middle) age on your list. Add up the ages and divide the total by three to find the average age of your newsmakers.

School Closed Forever

and the were

And a big sign reads “School Closed.” What would happen if you no longer had the opportunity to get an education?