The Triangle ������

The Editorial Board

Young Gravy Editor-in-Queef

Kyle Guyfoil Managing Editor

Brangelina Forever News Editor

Devilica

Germanlastname Features Editor

Care Bears Arts & Entertainment Editor

Shia LaBeouf Sports Editor

Rawbecca Sandwich Social Media Editor

Rocky Production Editor

Duh Fartzio

Angelina Ballerina Web Editors

Letter From The Large And In Charge

What’s good JasPURRRs?

It’s ya boi Madame Editor-in-Queef!

This week, the triangle wishes you a very happy non-denominational holiday season! Well, it’s a holiday for us, atleast.

Here at the Triangle, we report very honest and very real and very factual information. I mean hey, this isn’t Fox News!

Blue Raz Airbar Multimedia Editor

Grace Penguin Asst. News Editor

Before Christ Asst. Features Editor

McCormick Oats Asst. Arts & Entertainment Editor

Am a Minion Ross Lynch Asst. Sports Editor

Nikki Haley (R) Asst. Social Media Editor

Mack and Cheese

Marvelous Miss Maizy Asst. Production Editors

Gritty Faculty Advisor

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Quadrangle for this IMPORTANT SATIRE EDITION.

(For the normal Issue 10, visit page 13)

About The Triangle

An annual tradition. The Triangle is a fake newspaper published by the students of Manhattan College. We strive to make fun of the most ridiculous things on campus and the greater community, publishing only once a year in the spring semester. Our goal is always humor, subpar Photoshop skills and smart satire.

The Triangle meets once a year. The opinions expressed in The Triangle most certainly do not reflect the views of Manhattan College in general.

The Triangle is always Live Laugh Loving on Turdsday afternoon at noneofyourbuisiness o’clock. The Triangle is always in search of we are always searching for more influencers, fortune tellers, theater kids and aspiring arsonists to join our team!

Oh I should probably mention, before you can officially join the Triangle, we require all members to complete the following application process so we know you’re committed to joining.

1. Find Brother Jasper and ask for a selfie. Instead of taking a selfie, untie his shoes and steal the left one.

2. Inside his shoe, you will find directions to the office of our faculty advisor. Find him. He will then administer an extensive test on your knowledge of crAP Style. Take the test until you recieve a minimum score of 98.6%.

3. After you’ve passed the crAP test and demonstrated your knowledge, you’ll recieve a certificate for one vegetable avocado panini from jdel.

4. Go to the Quad office at 3AM on the night before your first quad meeting and present the paninito your Editor-in-Chief (thats me!)

After those super simple easy-breesy steps, congrats! You’ve joined the triangle! Get ready to werk werk werk werk, That’s all from me! Until next week (year)

Sincerely,

Yung Gravy Editor-in-Chef