shorTs MC Swim and Dive Holds Practices and Meet The Van Cortlandt Park Pond

Nemo Get it?

The Manhattan College swimming and diving team received word that the Jaspers would receive their own private pool for practice and meets. The team was told by MC athletics that the “pool” was larger than an olympic sized swimming pool and was located within walking distance of Manhattan College.

The team excitedly packed up their goggles and towels, eager to see their brand new practice facilities. When following the directions they were given to find the new pool on the first day of practice for their season, the team found themselves standing at the frozen edge of Mill Pond, located walking dis- tance from Manhattan College in Van Cortlandt Park.

Swimmers turned to their coaches in confusion. John BubbleBlower, head coach of swimming, diving and underwater basket weaving said he thought players would be thrilled to finally have their own swimming facilities.

“Hey as far as I’m concerned, a pool’s a pool.” BubbleBlower said. “I was expecting a big thank you, maybe even a ‘this is the best thing that’s happened since we won the MAAC’s’ but instead, all I got was complaints.”

Joe Schmo Breadman, a sophomore freestyle rapper on the swim team, commented on the matter.

“We were all thrilled to hear that we finally got our own pool, thinking maybe there was an opening for us at a school in

Riverdale or an upscale gym that just opened up or something.” Breadman said. “They promised a pool, but that’s literally a pond. There’s turtles and fish in there. I think I even saw a shark once.”

Due to the unpredictability of weather, the pond was frozen for most of the month of March. However, this didn’t stop BubbleBlower from holding practices there 8 times per week.

Grace Grillen’, a sophomore swimmer on the women’s team, spoke to The Quad about the unusual nature of having swim practice in a frozen over pond. “BubbleBlower has become a big fan of breathing technique exercises.” Grillen said. “He comes early to cut two holes in the ice on opposite sides of the pond. Then we dive in on one side, and there’s liter- ally no other choice but to hold our breaths while swimming the entire length of the pond. Sometimes it takes so long to get to the other side that only 3 or 4 swimmers get to go during each practice.”

Cooliana Sardines, a junior on the team, explained she had yet to get in the water for practice. Instead, BubbleBlower had a different approach for Sardines’ claiming he had created a “personalized training plan.”

“I swim butterfly, which is typically not a favorite among swimmers, but that’s always been my thing.” Sardines said. “I was very grateful when our Coach said he had taken the liberty of creating a personalized training program for me this season. But when we got to the pond and he said I would be learning a new technique he heard about on TikTok, he just led me to a butterfly observatory. Like, all I’ve done is watch butterflies. It’s March. How is there both ice and butterflies in Van Cortlandt right now? I’m so confused.”

Marymann Crylee, the director of athletics at Manhattan College, explained that use of the new swimming facilities was non-negotiable, despite the complaints from athletes.

“We got a great deal on the new swimming facilities, athletes should be grateful.” Crylee said. “And think, by only paying 6 dollars per year during the twenty year contract to use Mill Pond for swimming and diving, we’re saving so much money. The athletics department strongly believes that other sports, men’s basketball, for example, would be a better use of the money.”