Sober Girls Yoga Magazine - Issue 06

Sober Girls Yoga

Living with Chronic Pain

A Note from Alex

Sober Girls Yoga A Note from the Editor

Dear Community,

It's been 1,504 Days since I quit drinking Something I’ve noticed about myself is that right when my yoga retreats end - I crave alcohol I desire it so badly I can’t figure out what it is - a shock to the system? A withdrawal from community? A big exhale after working 24/7 for an extended period of time?

I think to myself, “well I could just have one No one ’ s going to know ” The irony being that the work I do all hinges on me being sober. I know for a fact I wouldn’t be running sober yoga retreats around the world if I were still drinking.

This last week I had a vacation for myself planned after my 3 week yoga teacher training in Bali - it was four days at a resort in the Maldives This would have been my biggest trigger and moment where I’d be likely to drink. I seriously even thought about it. Then a series of interesting travel events led one of my retreat guests to end up coming with me to the Maldives. She is five months sober today!

Having a sober buddy to travel with was the determining factor Instead of reaching for a drink, we reminded each other of how glad we were to be sober. We unwound and relaxed our nervous systems in various ways: we went fishing, we laid by the beach, we did yoga On the very last night we happened into the beach bar and discovered they had alcohol free sparkling wine on the menu - and popped a bottle to celebrate her five months sober We also came across this sign in a local bar!

The things I’ve learned are:

The desire to drink will always be there, even at four years. Post-retreats are my triggers I need to have a post-retreat plan in place to help me stay alcohol free.

Having a sober buddy to travel with is a great idea Plan activities while on vacation to help me stay sober, like sunrise walks and yoga classes during happy hour.

Try to choose a location where there will be alcohol free activities, events and alternatives you can engage with.

Each moment like this is a learning opportunity, and I am proud to have gotten through another few days sober “You can’t buy happiness - but you can get a Mocktail and that’s kind of the same thing!” Grateful to be 1,504 days sober. What strategies have helped you on your alcohol free journey?

Love, Alex

200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training Graduates in Bali

We would like to congratulate our first group of graduates who have graduated from our in person Yoga Teacher Training in Bali, Indonesia, this past May! We will be hosting Yoga Teacher Trainings in July and August 2024 in Bali. Check out the information here.

DebCollins

Beth Michuda

Lauren Gowers

Gabie Sanfancon IntanPutri

SOBER GIRLS AROUND THE WORLD!

Gabie, from Canada, at our 200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training this past May in Bali

The students on the 200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training this past May in Bali.

Louise Vowles, from the UK, walking the Camino de Santiago this May.

A listener of the podcast, Hannah, who I

Beth Michuda, an American who lives in Ireland, at our 200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training in Bali

met in Alchemy in Bali!

Lauren and Alex in Maldives!

Lauren Gowers and Alex had a stopover in Kuala Lampur on our way to the Maldives We had such a nice time strolling around the downtown area.

Erin Johnson, one of our members in the United States, with author Laura McKowen who wrote “We Are The Luckiest."

Deb and Lauren at the 200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training this past May in Bali. Deb is from Australia and Lauren is from the UK

Lisa Mangelsdorf, one of our community members in Kuala Lampur, joined us for the weekend in Bali

Carolyn Clark, one of our UK members, at a Sober Meet up through Bee Sober, in the UK.

Carolyn Clark, one of our UK members, at Bee Wild Weekend Sober Meet up

Michelle Gallagher and Lauren Gowers in Miami! They became friends on the Sober Girls Yoga Bali Retreat in January 2023.

Dear Sober Coach

MEET SOBER COACH SARAH.

Sarah has spent the last 12 years coaching and mentoring people who've struggled with their addictions and mental health, she knows that choosing to change your relationship with alcohol before you hit rock bottom is a powerful and positive choice to make

Sarah is passionate about spreading the message that our lives can be joyful and fun on the other side of our drinking careers and there's no need to feel lonely, stressed or bored on this journey.

Dear Sober Coach Sarah

I am so fed up with the negative thoughts I have around alcohol - please can you help me to reframe some of my beliefs!

Thank you for your support with this

From a Sober Yoga Girl Fan

Old belief: Red wine is good for you

New belief: Grape juice contains the same benefits as red wine without the toxins

Old belief: I need to hit rock bottom before I stop drinking

New belief: It's always better to stop a destructive habit while it’s still in your control

Dear Sober Yoga Girl Fan,

If you want to DM or email me some of the beliefs that you'd like to reframe - please do so. I'll be really happy to work with you individually to address what you would like particular support with. In the meantime here is some of the reframing I used myself:

Old belief: It's not possible to be sober and have fun

New belief: It's easier to be more content when I'm sober

Old belief: I'm not likeable without alcohol

New belief: My sobriety makes me more authentic and present with my friends and family

Old belief: Alcohol helps me relax

New belief: Sobriety gives me so much more energy in the mornings

Old belief: Staying sober is hard

New belief: I have all the tools I need to create a brilliant sober life

Old belief: Drinking reduces stress

New belief: Walking, relaxing on the sofa, yoga, reading, having a bath, phoning a friend all relieve stress

Hope that helps to start with

Love Sober Coach Sarah

Dear Sober Coach Sarah

I've got a wedding and a music festival lined up this summer - HELP!!!!

Thank you in advance

From MB

Dear MB

I hear you!! YES!

Summer Music Festivals and Weddings –Can you have fun without a drink? I believe you can!

There are several summer time events that used to strike terror in my heart when I thought of ‘doing’ them sober - BBQs, pub gardens, music festivals and weddings to name a few. There are loads of types of invitations we receive and perhaps send that we might now like to give a bit more thought to now we are either reconsidering our relationship with alcohol or are fully committed to a sober lifestyle.

It might be useful to really consider the invitations when they hit your inbox Is this event, festival, activity something you do REALLY want to attend. I know I used to always say “Yes” to every invitation because I suffered horribly from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) I would hate to see posts or messages after an event if I hadn’t been there myself and I would certainly use alcohol as a crutch to ‘help’ me at any event I where I was feeling overwhelmed. Now I’m much more careful about what I agree to and if I have any sneaking doubt about potentially not enjoying something I consider saying “No thank you ” at the earliest opportunity It is always easier to say no in the first place than it is to try to get out of something later down the line.

I’ve reconsidered whether or not I actually love music festivals or not I used to be ‘all in’ but now I accept that I am much more of a day visit person than an all weekender person I realise that music festivals are actually often ‘too people-y’ for me and alcohol used to be a tool I used to cope with all the noise, movement and activity around me I now don’t need to cope in that way because I understand myself better and realize I can take myself off to a quiet area and usually lie on the grass and have a snooze or look up at the sky for a break.

My first sober wedding was a steep learning curve I’d never realised before just how much I relied on alcohol as a comfort when I was expected to make loads of conversation with lots of people I didn’t know and stand around a lot without a focus I hit upon a winning formula though I gave the fizz a wide steer on the way in and headed to the bar to pick up a non alcoholic drink, I talked and joined in all through the day into the late afternoon and then I went and sat in my car in the car park for a break (even better if you are staying over – head to your room for a bit)! I realise it sounds like I wasn’t enjoying myself but that isn’t true! I was having a lovely time I just needed a bit of a break I listened to a podcast episode, faffed around on my phone for a bit and rang a friend for a quick chat I then went back into the wedding to pick up where I left off I’d told my husband what I was doing and no one had missed me

In choosing this fabulous sober/alcohol free life I have come to realise I have more introvert tendencies than I ever realised before. Finding a way to socialise and embrace a bit of people free or quiet time has been key to enjoying music festivals and weddings. Whatever lovely events are in your diary this summer plan ahead and plan for your success and enjoyment.

Success and enjoyment!!

With love and best wishes

Sober Coach Sarah

www drinklesslivebetter com

Listen: to the Drink Less; Live Better Podcast

LIFE AFTER YOGATEACHERTRAINING with The Mindful Life Practice

Wehavehadover100GraduatesofourYogaTeacherTraining programsincewestartedleadingtheprogramsin2021.We decidedinthisissuetocatchupwithsomeofthegraduatesofthe programsaroundtheworldandfindoutwhattheyaredoingnow!

JoWalduck

I live in Dieppe, Normandy, France - finally back at the seaside after nearly 20 years of inland city living. I completed the 30-hour Sober Curious YTT in May 2022

I’m still closely following Alex and Georgia’s journeys and adventures through the social medias, and am always delightedly cheering them on from my corner of the world and the internet

In my work, I often use the skills of guiding meditations and holding space for others, whether 1-to-1 or in group work. The space setting and holding from the sober circles is still a large part of my offerings, particularly when leading groups. I continue a daily yoga practice –even when that contains fewer asanas and more breathworks and journaling. Reminding myself and others that the daily commitments and consistency are helping to build a strong, securing foundation and framework for my day and life.

I run monthly group support circles within my sober support group (open to all women and queer beings of all genders)

The Deep Duckpond on Facebook. I also offer monthly

masterclasses and workshops on various topics (recent subjects: burnout prevention, navigating shame, building a wellbeing recovery action plan), maintaining my 1-1 services of intentional business, life and recovery coaching (online), and continuing my personal, professional, and political work of dismantling recovery and wellbeing from diet culture, toxic positivity and healthism More information can be found on my website: www jowalduck com

CarolynMillward

I’ve lived in many places, being born and raised in South Africa on a farm, then moved to Muscat, Oman when I was 38 years old for work, and have now been in Abu Dhabi for the past 10 years

After wanting to do a YTT200 for many years, I finally found MLPC, and the online format really suited my lifestyle as I have a very high powered job in the corporate world, so could not take time out to go to India or somewhere else to do a face to face fulltime course The online model worked so well for me, ad what was even better was that the sessions were live, which meant more interaction and engagement, and I need that live session to help me commit each week

I have been practicing yoga for the past 10 years, and it has honestly been my sanity and my mat has been my haven. Working in a very pressurised corporate environment means that my daily stress levels are definitely higher than they should be, and yoga has helped to keep me grounded and practice mindfulness throughout my day, bringing awareness and attention to my feelings in the body, the negative self-talk that impacts my performance and helps me to stay in the present and use my breathing exercises especially in stressful situations. This allows me to see take a step back, see the bigger picture and remain calm and grounded in most situations (most of the time at anyway, but we ’ re only human).

So far I’m providing free classes to ladies at my organisation as part of our Employee Health and Wellbeing program, and I also do weekly classes in my garden, for my close friends –girls night with a difference yoga and dinner afterwards Thank you Alex and MLPC for the amazing opportunity to do my YTT 200

ShavonMcCown

I currently reside in in Elkridge, Maryland, USA, Susquehannock, Piscataway Land, near Baltimore, Maryland US

I completed the 300 Hour YTT with a focus on Yoga for Mental Health States in January of 2023, just before my 50th birthday!

I have developed SO many friendships from my involvement with the Mindful Life Practice! I began teaching for the MLPC in June of 2020, as a brand newly certified yoga teacher! Through the course of my experiences with this community, I had the pleasure of witnessing some of the members, who started off as my “students,” undergo training with Alex and become my teachers! Three of them were Cathy Charles, Niamh Dickson and Leigh Saulnier! I’ve even met Cathy and Leigh in REAL LIFE on a yoga retreat to Mexico in June of 2022. Rachel Brady, another YTT cohort member, also joined us on the retreat (though I don’t know that I’ve ever taught her due to my memory and our different time zones) One of the most memorable experiences of that retreat (and if I’m being honest, of my LIFE) was a collaborative teaching session in which we designed and led a collaborative practice for the retreat participants (along with our cohort member IN SPIRIT, Leanne Golding). I am still connected in friendship with each of them, and Cathy and I are currently working together and planning to make some amazing things happen in the future!

I absolutely LOVED the focus that this YTT placed on Yoga for Mental Health States As a full-time educator, my colleagues, students and I constantly find ourselves riding the waves of chronic stress and anxiety in our daily lives. The content that we explored through our 300 Hour YTT allowed me to consider how yoga could be used as a tool to help manage the symptoms of that stress and anxiety. As a result, I gained the confidence to begin offering services to my school community, primarily to students, via a weekly yoga club, however, I was also asked to lead a short pranayama (breathwork) and movement practice for stress relief during a New Teacher Support meeting. Since then, I have been contacted by many other educators for ways to book sessions with me!

For me, although it’s still a work in progress to remember to employ various skills “in the moment” I have them when I truly need them! And having the 500 Hour designation gives me the confidence to move forward, share my process and teach these skills to others!

People can book virtual and in-person yoga classes and retreats with me by visiting www linktr ee/shavonmccownyoga I am currently offering private sessions, via Zoom and in-person, in a modality of the client’s choosing (including Gentle Flow, Restorative and Yin). Inperson classes take place in my very own “Yoga Club House” in Elkridge, Maryland, and as the weather warms up, outdoor group classes will be available at a beautiful park or lake near me! I would love to see you in classes OR on my retreat in St Lucia November 8-13 of this year! Check my Link Tree for details!

NiamhDickson

I am a Canadian, living in Bangkok, Thailand.I completed my 200 YTT in Sept 2021 and I'm almost finished my 300 hours YTT

I had some of the best conversations about life with my group of YTT friends. Since we have all dispersed and gone out into the world, I think the depth of life we shared with each other will always be cherished

Page 16

Everyone is connected these days through social media and I know that we are still supporting each other through liking posts, taking time to comment on new adventures and mostly celebrating each other when we see each other stepping into jobs, or ventures we discussed over the year together

Yoga is a way of life, I'm a sucker for a theme. I often enter on to my mat with something in my mind and let it sink in and move through it Call it a theme, an epiphany, or a life lesson I believe that the lessons I learn on the mat transfer into the lessons off the map and vice versa. I am a counselor and breathwork, embodiment and self regulation, is something I practice and preach I use the skills I've learned on the mat and through YTT everyday and share the tips and tricks with others to help calm their bodies, their minds and hearts and souls.

I also suffer from Inflammatory Bowel Disease, yoga has changed the way I approach pain, it makes it accessible for my body when I'm in a flare and helps me to move faster when my body allows for it. Yoga is for anyone and that has been a great lesson for me to learn and feel in my own body on good days or bad ones

I'm currently not teaching yoga online or in person. My body needed a bit of a rest but I am an art therapist and I am sharing tips and tricks for self care through art over on my instagram page @colorsoftheheart arttherapy I'd love for you to check it out and join me on a healing journey through art.

ShaenaJasmat

AmandaCable

I'm from the UK, near Birmingham, and I graduated from the Sober Curious Yoga Teacher Training in March 2022

I absolutely loved my YTT group and I’m really pleased that not only am I in touch with most of them (even if it’s just through social media); but I also met up with one of them for lunch, whilst I was visiting family in Australia recently The Sober Curious YTT inspired me to incorporate more meditation and journaling into my life and to dive deeper into yoga philosophy As a result I am now currently a 200 hour YTT student I am a Life Alignment Coach for women, so I have taken my YTT qualification and facilitated a number of women ’ s circles for the sober community and for

I live in Granbury, TX close to Ft worth, and I am currently finishing the Deep Dive!

I’m friends with Cindy. She went to Bali with Alex earlier this year. I use breathwork to control my anxiety Also, the focus on active listening has been so helpful for me and I love learning how to lead sober circles in the best way possible

You can book classes with me here:

https://holisticsoberhope.com/copy-ofcopy-of-green-and-creamphotographic-blogger-bio-link-website

SOBER YOGA GIRL PODCAST

with

LISTEN NOW

NEW EPISODES STARTING THIS WEEK!

Alex Mcrobs

Little Steps….. To Managing Boundaries

By Jules Allan

Hi I’m Jules, each month I will be exploring and looking at various mental health and wellbeing topics,

sharing with you simple Therapeutic and Wellbeing Tools.

We often hear about the importance of boundaries for our well-being.

We may find ourselves juggling multiple roles and responsibilities, taking care of our families, our careers, our social lives, and so much more We may often put the needs of others before our own, which can leave us feeling depleted, overwhelmed and feel like we

don't have control over our lives We may find ourselves overextending ourselves, feeling resentful, or getting hurt by others It can be easy to get caught up in the expectations of others,

or to put our own needs last in order to please others. That's where boundaries come in Establishing boundaries is crucial for our well-being and overall happiness

But what exactly are boundaries?

In simple terms, boundaries are limits we set to protect our physical, emotional, and mental well-being External boundaries refer to the limits we set with others - for example, saying "no" to requests that don"t align with our values or taking a break from toxic relationships

Internal boundaries, on the other hand, refer to the limits we set with ourselves - for example, setting a boundary around negative self-talk or making time for selfcare

My experience of learning to say No!

I have often found it difficult to say no, to friends, family, partners, work, strangers, even the dog! I

was brought up to be "lovely", neglect my own needs in order to support others, my role in life, so I thought was to be a caretaker, friend to everyone. You have a problem? I'm here to help, you need a listening ear? I'll listen, you need support? my time? my energy? my skills? the shirt off my back? my heart? my soul? everything, I would give that until I had no more to give.

Then I burnt out and got very ill, I gently began a self-development journey, practiced yoga, went to therapy, stopped drinking and began practicing emotional sobriety. I started to learn that over giving, people pleasing for some of us can be a trauma response Fawning, lovely word isn’t it, women especially in society are brought up to fawn, it’s what we are conditioned to be "lovely". Sometimes I feel lovely, other times I am definitely not lovely, I can feel resentful, sometimes I say yes when I’m shouting in my head to say no. I often change my mind when I have said yes and try and find the courage to say no.

Sometimes I can do this, sometimes I can't

I'm learning to say no, I'm practicing my no muscle on small little things. - No thank you... (Phew that was an easy one!)

Would you like a cup of tea?

Would you like to meet up on Saturday to help me move house?

No I'm sorry I can't I have plans (argh, guilt, guilt)

Oh right, well I have loads to do and no one can help me, what am I going to do, I was counting on you? (guilty shamey feelings from remembering my old behaviours when I would have said yes)

- I can see you are under a lot of pressure but I’m unable to change my plans, I hope you find someone to support you (heartbeats fast, feel sick, hide under a duvet for a week)

If I had the space, energy, time & ability I would have helped, an authentic yes when I have capacity can be of great support to others. But I was unable to this time, little note to self, I'm not their removal service, I’m their friend. I can say no, I have the right to say no, If I don’t have the capacity to help, by saying yes to someone else to meet their needs I’m saying no to me and I put my needs second Saying yes to myself is a win win for me and everyone else. If I'm in a good place everyone else will be benefit Reserving my energy for things I can authentically say yes too!

Boundaries protect your time and energy.

When we don't set boundaries, we can easily get pulled in different directions and end up feeling drained and burnt out.

By setting boundaries, we can protect our time and energy and make sure we're spending it on the things that matter most to us

Boundaries help you prioritize

By setting boundaries, we can identify our priorities and make sure we're spending our time and energy on the things that align with our values and goals This can help us feel more fulfilled and purposeful in our lives. Boundaries boost self-esteem: When we set boundaries, we're telling ourselves that our time, energy, and well-being are important. This can help boost our self-esteem and selfworth, which can have a positive impact on all areas of our lives

Boundaries reduce stress

When we're constantly saying yes to everything and everyone, it can lead to stress and overwhelm. Setting boundaries can help us reduce stress and create a sense of balance in our lives.

Boundaries improve relationships

Setting boundaries can help us communicate our needs and expectations to others. This can lead to more honest and respectful relationships, where both parties feel heard and valued.

How to set a Boundary?

You are in a new relationship and your partner has a habit of texting you constantly throughout the day, expecting immediate responses even when you're at work or with friends.

While you appreciate their attention and affection, you're starting to feel overwhelmed and distracted by the constant notifications.

To set a boundary in this situation you might say something like

“I really enjoy talking to you and staying connected, but I need to set some boundaries around my phone use. I'm finding that the constant notifications are starting to stress me out and make it hard for me to focus on other things Can we agree to only text during certain times of the day, or can I let you know when I need some space to focus on work or other activities?"

By communicating your needs and setting clear boundaries around your phone use, you're showing your partner that you value your own time and mental space, while still maintaining a connection with them You're also giving them the opportunity to respect your boundaries and work with you to find a solution that works for both of you.

5 Top Tips for setting a Boundary

Instead of making demands or blaming the other person, use "I" statements to express your own feelings and needs

Use "I" statements to communicate your needs: Instead of making demands or blaming the other person, use "I" statements to express your own feelings and needs For example, "I need some space right now" or "I feel uncomfortable when you speak to me like that"

When setting a boundary, it's important to be clear and specific about what you're asking for. Avoid vague or ambiguous language, and make sure the other person understands exactly what you mean

What's the difference between internal and external boundaries?

Internal boundaries, refer to the limits we set with ourselves - for example, setting a boundary around negative self-talk or making time for self-care External boundaries, on the other hand, refer to the limits we set with others - for example, saying "no" to requests that don't align with our values or taking a break from toxic relationships

Internal boundaries are about understanding our own needs, thoughts, and feelings External boundaries are about communicating those needs, thoughts, and feelings to others in a respectful and assertive way

Internal boundaries are about being kind and compassionate with ourselves, even when we make mistakes or struggle. External boundaries are about respecting ourselves and others, even when we disagree or have different needs.

Setting a boundary can be difficult, but it's important to approach the conversation with respect and assertiveness. Avoid being aggressive or confrontational, but don't back down from your needs and values either. If appropriate, offer a reason or explanation for your boundary. This can help the other person understand your perspective and be more willing to respect your needs.

Setting a boundary is only effective if you follow through on it Be consistent and firm in enforcing your boundary, even if the other person protests or tries to push back.

Internal boundaries are about trusting ourselves to make choices that are in alignment with our values and goals External boundaries are about trusting others to respect our boundaries and make choices that are respectful and kind.

I believe that setting boundaries is an act of self-love and self-respect When we set clear boundaries, we're telling ourselves and others that our time, energy, and well-being are valuable and deserving of protection By prioritizing our own needs and values, we're able to live a more fulfilling and authentic life, with healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self

THE MINDFUL LIFE PRACTICE PET HALL OF FAME

A deserved page for these cuties that have been being loyal support system for their human, and are honorary Mindful LIfe Members!

2,5 YO OLIVE IS EATING STRAWBERRY

KELLY BELEW

RIVER IS CHILLING

LILO'S FAVOURITE PLACE TO CHILL

7 YO WINSTON ENJOYING A RIDE

KELLY BELEW

ERIN FLEMMING'S STACY TURNEY'S

MLPC'S PET HALL OF FAME

CYRUS: "NO, I DONT SEE YOUR NOTEBOOK"

BUGGY'S TRYING TO SHOW HOW TO DOWNDOG

BEAUTIFUL MILEY

HANDSOME JACK THE DILIGENT STUDENT

SARAH MILLMAN'S

14 YO MOLLY'S ON A STROLL

SARAH MILLMAN'S

SARA ASHWORTH DARLENE'S

DEB COLLINS'S

MLPC'S PET HALL OF FAME

MONTY THE MIGHTY FLOOF

LOLA'S READY FOR A LONG FLIGHT!

""ACTUALLY WE'RE A GOOD YOGA PARTNER"

OLIVE: "IT'S ME AGAIN WITH MY SISTER!"

"GOOD JOB, MOM. NOW BREATHE"

ERIN FLEMMING'S

LISA MANGELSDORF'S

LEANNE GOLDINGS

LISA MANGELSDORF'S

OVERCOMING OBSTACLES WITH YOGA

MY CHRONIC PAIN STORY

BY: KENNETH MORTENSEN

WHERE IT STARTED

Let’s go straight to my childhood, where it all began.

From very early on, an underlying feeling of unease was lingering I had of course no idea what this was, other than feeling worried, anxious and alone Something was constantly “off” I simply did not feel good enough This basically ran my life from a very young age, into the adolescent years, which were very hard, and into young adulthood. I did not fit in and felt awkward. I did not feel safe either, especially at home, having parents who struggled in their own way and were unable to give their children unconditional love In school I was an easy target, often at the end of the bullying stick It took many years before I was able to put the pieces together to understand myself and my life

Fastforwarding to the birth of the physical pain years

After a walk in the woods in my early 30s, pain started developing in my lower back. It got so bad that my chiropractor decided an MRI was needed, here the very first “ severe ” herniated disc was discovered

It was a confusing period, but I quickly learned that this was very serious. I was more and more overcome by fear Then followed visits to a number of specialists, aiming to figure this out and “fix” the pain A strict exercise regime (especially for the core muscles) was also introduced To be fair, there was improvement for a while, as I was very dedicated in the process

A few years later, in the midst of a workout, a sudden jolt of pain hit the lower back This one was terrifying in the moment I panicked

The following days…weeks…months…well actually years, were filled with severe lower back pain and numbness and radiation in the legs Accompanied by Fear The big F!

This was now running my life.

In desperation I tried everything you can think of; doctors, physiotherapists, chiropractors, osteopaths, naprapaths, specialists in hospitals, healers etc. And of course, all the pain killers… I know now that all these visits, all these professionals, were only keeping two things alive: 1 The fear 2 The pain Why? Because there was a 100% focus on the structural “problem”.

When it comes to chronic pain, sadly, we have a long way to go

Too often do we only look at the one part of the puzzle, meaning a structural origin to pain This cannot possibly paint the full picture.

A decision was made, partly by the medical world and partly by me: My lower back was weak, and this was a problem I would need to live with for the rest of my life.

I must say, there are wonderful people in the medical world, who really want to help, and are also very knowledgeable in doing so. Some of this help has even been really valuable. In regards to acute pain and injuries we are extremely fortunate in the western world

LET’S TALK ABOUT FEAR AND IDENTITY

Fear caused me to be constantly cautious. A weak lower back is in need of protection, so my life now revolved around this

My identity had changed. Not just for me, but for everyone around me. I became “Kenneth with back pain”. In a way, this identity was comfortable, because I wanted everyone to acknowledge my pain I needed their sympathy! Little did I know that this only helped to maintain the pain.

A few years after the last severe disc herniation founding, the pain was so unbearable that I needed to do something. I was desperate. Through a friend I discovered an expert of artificial disc replacements at a private clinic in Norway He had a wonderful reputation, so I went to him I placed all my trust in the good doctor I also believed him when he said that my two lowest vertebral discs were defective, and I was born that way It was genetic

We decided to go ahead with the surgery to replace my discs. This was not covered by any insurance, so I needed to pay from my own pocket (20 000,- USD) But I had no choice, and made it happen

The whole process was actually quite freeing in the moment I was ready to die if this did not work, as I was exhausted I felt it in my whole system

I woke up after the surgery, and felt I was in very good hands I still trusted the process of the surgery and the time that followed but the pain was not gone. I was shattered. Why was I not getting better??

THE SYMPTOMS

Let me try to describe the physical symptoms; All-consuming

Sitting for longer periods was a major problem, with pain radiating down both legs, accompanied by numbness and lack of strength. Standing still for longer periods was even worse It felt like my whole back was on the verge of collapse and both legs were disappearing from under me. Standing still when talking to other people was extremely taxing, and all I wanted to do was to end the conversation quickly and move away Did I mention my personally type is being a huge people-pleaser? This stopped me from leaving. So I instead stood there and endured the pain, only to collapse shortly after.

Trying to sleep at night no surprise that this as quite demanding Tossing, shifting position almost every 30 seconds. Lying on my back for too long, on any side for too long, or on my stomach for too long, it did not work I could not win this one It was a constant battle It normally ended with me passing out in the end due to pure exhaustion, only to wake up again to more pain.

Many nights I pondered if I should call the emergency line The mental part of it was horrible, asking questions I did not know how to answer. For example, if this situation right here was dangerous or not, am I going to lose sensation in my legs now or not, if I do not call now, will something forever be messed up etc The mind is so tricky.

Once I went down that road of terror, I was caught up in the endless stream of catastrophic thoughts This battle on the inside was so hard And so lonely So I can relate to everyone who go through something similar.

Side note After a car accident quite a few years back, I also suddenly started developing heavy neck pain, that never seemed to go away. This was incredibly strange because there were no big findings on MRI (I took a lot of them).

How did it all fit together?

JOB AND SOCIAL LIFE

I had a desk-job since I was a young adult, working with computers. I liked my job, but it was sedentary 8 hours a day, including at least 1 hour in the car. Sitting for so long each day became a huge problem To cut it short, in the end I started dreading going to work For a long time I tried to hide the pain from colleagues. Quite often I sneaked out into the bathroom only to lie on the floor to get my legs up the wall, desperate for relief

I got good at avoided social settings, including visiting friends and family. I was extremely worried that it would only trigger more pain, as being with other people usually required me to sit for longer periods of time I also felt I had to try to “act normal” - as if I was in no pain. Oh, and I am also an introvert, a perfect combination with pain in a social setting!

Let’s visit shame There is one time though that stands out, when my son was quite young. On the day his birthday there was a family gathering at a restaurant, where, of course, we sit for a looooooong time I dreaded it even before we went there, but I knew I had to endure it I love my son more than anything in my life, he is my everything. That is probably the hardest part about this whole journey where I have seen how my life has affected him, and the things I have been unable to do with him due to the pain running the show.

Towards the end of the birthday party, my back was screaming, and I could not take it anymore I had to get up and leave. I had to get out of there. I felt so bad, but I also had no choice. I will never forget the feeling of “failing” in that moment. It was a lonely journey I felt noone understood how bad it really was

The fear of making the pain worse drove me crazy. If I seemed to be having a good day, I was sure it was only a matter of time before it got bad again I was waiting for it And of course, voila I know today that I ran my body into fight or flight, only creating more tension.

The same applied to my training, where I both consciously and unconsciously caused tension in my own body because I was preparing myself mentally and physically for "the pain is about to show up!" The strange thing here was that I felt I was doing everything right For years I stretched, I became very flexible, I gave my body great relief, developed strong core muscles... and yes the surgery too. But… nothing worked. Why?!? The frustration was overwhelming

THE UNDERSTANDING

There was a gradual process of self-study, especially after I started to practice yoga in 2012. The journey of going inside and no longer always seeking outside of myself for all the answers, was a huge change I really wanted to find out how it was all connected.

Little by slowly I started to alter the way I looked at myself, and life itself I started to chip off pieces that were holding me back in my life I started to dig deeper into patterns that I had carried with me from childhood. And most importantly, I started to look at myself with more compassion

I was so used to being hard on myself. Never satisfied, there was always something missing. This underlying feeling of something being missing, being off I finally found out why

I had never felt that I was enough.

Because I had never received unconditional love from my parents This was huge A revelation! I had fought so hard - to be loved - to be seen Again and again I craved and I craved and I craved! The craving left me empty. Filt with rage! Most of all sad. And I had never grieved that sadness Not until I understood this so many years later did I grieve Not in order to blame But to give myself what I needed - Now. Compassion. Self Love. Unconditional understanding and Love.

All of this took time Oh how many years I spent walking into the dark pit of the forest, and in no way can I walk out in just one day. Hey, I am still walking. This Life with all its vastness of feelings is never done I am challenged every day The difference now is that I am much more aware

The slow emergence of a new understanding started to change everything, including how I practiced yoga and how I moved in all my exercises

I started approaching myself (including what I did not like) in a more friendly way Curiosity led the way, supported by a strong center within A calm center.

I knew now more than ever - that what had kept me in pain was the Fear Being stuck in fear because my body was never safe

Being constantly in fight or flight means the body does not feel safe Correction: The Brain perceives unsafety for the body The brain and the body is deeply connected Well, it is actually just one system. So, what did I need to do? I needed to tell my brain that I was safe. How could I do this? By sending the message over and over and over Mentally, emotionally and physically I started to develop a practice to soothe my nervous system, for healthy outlet of stuck emotions, and for sweet tension relief.

My oh my was this revolutionary for my system

MY TRUE IDENTITY

After the journey of deeper awareness started, there was a question I truly loved to ask myself. And I still do

Who am I?

Leading into… What is my identity - I mean, my true identity? More on, how can I be freed from all my preconceived feelings about myself and all other people? How stuck am I or how free am I? How authentically connected am I to my true self? How honest can I be with myself? What emotions do I repress? Which feeling do I not dare look at? What have I not processed well enough? Oh and…how whole am I really?

This has been so important to me. To pose all these questions My people-pleasing strategy from a very young age was a strategy to survive because I did not feel safe So I needed other people to accept me. This was actually my brain’s way of looking out for me. But there would come a time when this would back-fire

Growing up, I “learned” that other people's opinions meant more than my own. My emotions got repressed and actually stuck. What I did not know at the time, as that rage was also brewing on the inside No wonder tension constantly was built up in my body. Now I see. And when I see - I can do something about it.

During an inspired period, born by my studies of self and yoga practice, I found myself embarking on a 200 hour Yoga teacher training in Mexico back in 2014. This is when my life really started to shift, slowly but surely I found invaluable tools, new ways to approach and treat myself Also in relation to my troublesome lower back.

I started questioning so much more! Especially my unconscious thought patterns These automatic responses that are so often born from early childhood and here the brain learned how to protect the system of young Kenneth.

It as now time to unravel this

I learned a huge thing: If I put a label on my sensations as “something negative that needs to get rid of” then I only intensify the symptoms. A constant need to fix will only re-inforce the need to fix, feeding the brain alarm signal after alarm signal.

I learned that I don’t have anything to prove to anyone. And I certainly don't need to maintain any identity concerning my lower back! I learned that I am enough

I learned that I am so much more than my back. I am me.

YOGA TEACHER

What I found on my journey also benefited the students in my classes Especially how I saw myself with new eyes The more compassion I had for myself, the more compassion I had for everyone around. My relationships became increasingly authentic. I started seeing deeper underneath the layers, past their identities, past their external layers I learned to tap into my true Source, and made a huge discovery. I started seeing my wounds and my pain as a gift.

MORE ON SELF COMPASSION

It is so easy to play a victim role, to have someone and something to blame Not just with chronic pain, but no matter what I go through in life. What is certain is that playing a victim role will "unfairly" ask others to pity me This will actually help keeping me stuck in victim mode It only causes more suffering and more tension in my body. Creating awareness around my entire life, and knowing that how I choose to react from a given situation or condition will actually determine how I feel This became part of the key to recovery, taking my Power back.

There needs to be Acceptance. And this is not a passive statement It is a realization that will set me free What if I can be here right now, in this moment - and accept everything in my circumstance? What if I say…this is how it is. Right now. Instead of fighting it, I realize and accept that it is what it is It does not need to be ok But it is allowed to be - without resistance

In that moment I am able to have a friendly look at all the parts of me that I don’t necessarily like. Parts of my life situation that I would want to change, is for a moment, allowed to exist without the need to alter it.

We are talking about a moment here - of fresh air Of Space If I can, just for a moment, sit with what is - allow without the need to fix or alter, what happens is something Magical is created: Space.

When there is Space, something new can grow. When there is Space, the nervous system becomes balanced Re-set if you will And from here we take our Power back! And we are able to make constructive choices.

MY LIFE TODAY

What can I tell you, so much has changed in the last 10-15 years I am not who I was, at the same time I have always carried with me a spark, a faith, that things might change.

Right now my life is so much larger. My choices are expanded The way I view myself and the world around me is flipped on its head!

My life is still a normal life with all the different colours of emotions; sorrow, grief, stress. The difference now is that I allow more of my emotions to be felt Especially the “bad ones”, which are not actually bad ones. Feeling these will give space for all emotions to be more felt!

Previously I would try to run away from or numb bad emotions This would cause “good emotions” also to become numb! So I lived a numbed out life! Not just in my legs, but in my whole emotional system

Allowing all will give Space to a fuller, richer life I am telling you.

I still feel things I would like to run away from or push down But when I do this, I have a deeper awareness now, and know that any repressed emotion will always show up in the body in some kind of way, for example as physical pain. This is why I can still have sensations from time to timebut it is no longer chronic

Let me say it again; It is no longer chronic.

It is the pain from everyday life - everyone will have it! Just like a temporary head-ache

The symptoms are no longer running my life. I am no longer stuck with an identity filled with pain. I allow - I give symptoms that may occur space to exist I don’t see them as harmful, and fear can no longer have a strong grip on me The more I allow all to be, the more I create room for solid inspiration in my life.

Today I do things I would not think possible! For example, my physical training has sky rocketed and I am deeply passionate about moving my body.

So to sum it up; My life is so much bigger, more powerful, having a clear vision of what I want, which direction to go, following my life’s purpose, my Soul.

A PROGRAM OF SELF DISCOVERY

Several times in the last number of years I received a strong calling to share my experience. Having lived through all the struggles and pain, and come out on the other side with a completely new outlook on life, how could I not start sharing my journey. But it needed to be from a place of fullness. A sincere wish to help.

And of course, with support and guidance from my some of my deepest inspirations in life These people have provided me with a profound understanding of Chronic pain, its origin and its solution

Chronic pain is an epidemic of fear.

I stand by this statement, because my life was run by stress, anxiety and fear Every day It was not until I started looking at the whole system as one, that I started to see the change. The physical, mental and emotional part of me is one One affects the other I need to address all of it at the same time. For example, if I am filled with anger or even rage, this will cause so much tension underneath the surface, and I can be sure that at some point some kind of pain will develop Simply because the brain views the repressed emotion as too dangerous to feel, so it gives me something else to look at that feels “safer”. But… the brain is quite efficient, so this kind signaling from the brain will over time become learned and chronic

We love our program because we live in it! Everything is connected. And our potentials are unlimited! There is hope Always To change the route To calm the nervous system To create space for something new. To ignite new passions. To kick-start transformation. This is what we teach. This is also what I teach myself every day The walk I walk every day Because the journey is never finished Life is life

One hand resting on my stomach and one hand resting on my heart. Feeling into connection to my core So I can relate better to you Thank you for taking the time to read this, I wish you so well Be kind to yourself today.

A Cocktail of Clarity

By Dupe Witherick

Quit Lit has become a go-to for people who are about to embark or are on the alcohol free journey and looking to explore what it could be like longer term, by hearing stories of others who are further ahead Quit Lit is also a key part of any alcohol free toolkit, as reading is an act of self-care and I certainly have found since ditching drinking that I’ve read more books in the past two and a half years, than I have done in the past decade! This has helped me from a personal growth perspective and many others, who are now alcohol free, find themselves regularly reading and recommending Quit Lit and selfdevelopment books together

So, if you ’ re looking for a new Quit Lit to get into, look no further than “A Cocktail of Clarity: How to ditch drinking, embody a joyful new identity and Thrive Alcohol Free”, which was published on the 29th of April 2023 and is available on Amazon

This new Quit Lit will benefit you regardless of where you are on the alcohol free journey. Whether you are curious about becoming alcohol free, have ditched drinking for a short period of time or are somewhere along the alcohol free journey

A Cocktail of Clarity walks you through how to go from feeling stuck, frustrated, wondering if there is more to life and questioning your relationship with alcohol, to realising that there is so much more to life. By ditching this one thing, it leads to everything! Better health, better relationships and more wealth in every aspect of your life, physically, spiritually, emotionally and financially

This book will show you how to:

Ditch drinking

Embody a new alcohol free identity

Find lasting joy in all areas of your life

Just like a cocktail contains many ingredients, in order to gain clarity and Thrive Alcohol Free, ditching drinking is the first ingredient

However, this is just the by adding other ingredients, the scales fall from your eyes, you suddenly know and understand the truth, amazing things begin to happen and you start living life in full vibrant colour

This book goes through three stages: Foundations; Firsts; and Freedom to guide and inspire you to Thrive, Reach your Full Potential and Live your Best Life, Alcohol Free!

The writing process helped me reflect on my own alcohol free journey, realise how far I’d come and how much I wanted to help others see that a different way to the norm is exciting It also helped me see how beneficial and what a key part of my life, new passions such as yoga had become I’d only started practicing yoga a couple of months after ditching drinking However, it is now a core element of my daily routine. Yoga gives me a sense of grounding, helps me to manage my emotions and just allows me to breathe!

I am so grateful to have been consistent with it and by no means am I the most flexible person in the world, however, we all know yoga is not about that and it brings so much more, joy, peace and the ability to be present with ourselves

In the book, yoga is highlighted as an act of self-care, something to do from a movement / exercise perspective to help with mental and physical wellbeing, a passion to be (re)discovered, and a habit that can form part of a daily routine. It is also highlighted, as a way to manage emotions, instead ofautomatically reaching for a drink

A Cocktail of Clarity: How to Ditch Drinking, Embody a Joyful New Identity and Thrive Alcohol Free” is available on Paperback or Kindle and can be ordered through Amazon

SOBER GIRLS YOGA BALI RETREAT

https://www.themindfullifepractice.com/bali-yoga-retreat-2024

HybridOnline&InUbud,Bali

July 24 - August 14th, 2024 (with 100 hours online, on-demand content)

OR

August 4 - August 14th, 2024 (with 200 hours online, on-demand content)

inUbud,Bali

https://www.themindfullifepractice.com/300-hour-ytt-in-bali

200 HOUR YOGA TEACHER TRAINING

InUbud,Bali

July 1st - 21st, 2024

OR, Hybrid Learning: Online from January - June and in Person from July 11th - 21st, 2024

inUbud,Bali

https://www.themindfullifepractice.com/bali-200-hour

Sober Girls Club Zoom Schedule

Intention Setting: Sunday June 4th at 9am EST What are your intentions for the month of June? Join us for this thought provoking meeting where we reflect on where we ’ re at in life and set our goals for the rest of the month.

Guest Speaker: Stacy Turney on Sunday June 11th at 9am EST

Our guest speaker for this session is Stacy Turney! Stacy has pretty much done every Mindful Life Program offered - from the Sober Curious Yoga Teacher Training, to the Deep Dive, to the Yoga Sutra Study She even joined us in Mexico for the retreat in 2022! Join this sharing circle for a check-in, meditation, and then to learn more about Stacy’s journey with sobriety. Stacy is coming up on two years sober and is a retired nurse, and has two sons who are university age She lives in Joplin, Missouri We are so excited to have her speak!

Book Club: The Sober Diaries on Saturday June 17 at 10:00am EST

If you were a gray area drinker, this brand new book will resonate with you Meg was an ordinary mom trapped in drinking culture, living in the United States and working in pharmaceutical sales In her book, Intoxicating Lies, she debunks some of the common lies we are sucked into by the alcohol industry Join us for this discussion on June 18th We’ll have a check-in, meditation and then have an opportunity to ask Meg any questions!

Yoga's Legends and Myths

In June, during Alex’s yoga classes, we will explore six iconic Gods and Goddesses from Indian Yoga traditions. We will learn about their stories, try the poses associated with their energy, and chanting their mantras

Shiva - Destruction - June 6th at 7am Toronto, 7pm Bali

We will begin with Shiva, who represents consciousness. He is one of the three gods for the Trimurti, representing destruction He helps us shed our egos, old habits, attachments He destroys what needs to go, in order to make room for new We’ll learn how to overcome our challenges and find stillness or steadiness amidst chaos We’ll learn dancers pose and Shiva’s pose We will chant Om Name Shivaya

Lakshmi - Abundance - June 6th at 6:30pm EST

Lakshmi is the wife of Vishnu, and she is the goddess of light, beauty and good fortune. We will chant “Om, Shri, Maha Lakshmi Namaha,” or I recognize and honour the divine abundance within.” She is associated with material and spiritual wealth We’ll do a practice around heart openers, to call in abundance. We’ll move in fluid, watery movements, and remember to express gratitude and giving.

Vishnu - Sustenance - June 10th at 8am EST

Vishnu sustains and protects the world through his Shakti He is known as the Preserver of the Cosmos, and he constantly participates in worldly affairs - either on his vehicle, Garuda, or by sending incarnations of himself, called avatars, to earth. During this practice, we will sustain poses for slow and strong durations of timedeveloping endurance and strength We will chant Om Kleem Vishnave Namah, which is said to bring about well being, reduce anxiety and depression, and help us call in a meaningful life

Saraswati - Wisdom - June 11th at 8am EST

Saraswati is the goddess of wisdom. She is part of the female trinity, Tridevi. Saraswati embodies creativity, and she teaches us that we must tune our mind and intellect to achieve equilibrium of being free from both attachment and aversion She is depicted on a lotus seat Our practice will be creative and fluid, moving through hip opening shapes: butterfly, forward folds, low lunge, and goddess pose We will chant Om shreem hreem Saraswatyai namaha, which invokes the wisdom of Saraswati and seeks the removal of obstacles to that wisdom

Brahma - Creation - June 20th at 6:30pm EST

Brahma brings the world into manifestation, through his Shakti He is known as the creator, and he appears seated on a lotus He has four heads and hands, and his vehicle is the swan In this practice, we will learn the stories of Brahma, and connect to the oneness of the universe All animals and people come from Brahma - so we ’ re all part of the Supreme One You’ll walk away from this class with a deeper sense of spirituality Chanting the Brahma Dev Mantra will help us get rid of our anxieties.

Parvati - Devotion - June 24th at 8am EST

Parvarti is Shiva’s consort And she is said to be the first student of yoga She is the goddess of devotion, and she teaches us how to live in the physical world while identifying with the truth of who we are in the spiritual world Parvati wanted to practice yoga, but women weren’t supposed to do yoga - but Shiva said to her that yoga is available to you no matter your incarnation, because we all are yoga

Parvarti teaches us that living the life of yoga isn’t always easy, and we’ll encounter obstacles Parvarty kept her heart open and pursued yoga anways, and Shiva became her teacher We will practice Hatha Yoga in this class, balancing our lunar and solar energies We will chant Om Hreem Umayai Namah, to illuminate our higher wisdom

UPCOMING 30 DAY CHALLENGE STARTS JUNE 3:

Are you tired of the constant cycle of exhaustion, hangovers, and feeling drained? Do you find yourself yearning for a change in your relationship with alcohol but feel overwhelmed about where to begin? What if I told you there's a community waiting to support you and guide you on an incredible sober journey?

Imagine reclaiming your energy, vitality, and waking up each day with a clear mind and a renewed sense of purpose. In the Sober Girls Yoga 30 and 60 Day Challenge, we specialize in empowering sober-curious women like you to make a lasting change in their lives, no matter your age, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs.

We provide you with practical skills that will transform your life Through the power of journaling, meditation, and a dedicated yoga practice, we equip you with the tools necessary to navigate this journey with confidence and strength

But it doesn't end there. Our community of remarkable women from all corners of the world will surround you with unwavering support and understanding. Together, we create an environment where you can share your triumphs, challenges, and experiences, knowing that you are never alone

Our team of experienced coaches is committed to your success They will provide personalized guidance, coaching, and unwavering accountability to ensure you stay on track and achieve the lasting transformation you desire.

Imagine breaking free from the limitations of alcohol and becoming the best version of yourself the version you've always dreamed of. Picture a life filled with limitless possibilities, joy, and fulfillment That's what awaits you when you join our empowering community

Now is the time to seize the opportunity, to embrace this incredible journey towards a healthier, more vibrant life. Step into a future where your energy soars, your relationships flourish, and your potential knows no bounds.

Join us today and discover the extraordinary power of a sober life. Together, we will embark on a transformative journey that will empower you to create a life beyond your wildest dreams You deserve this. Let's make it happen. Join us here.

WORDS FROM MINDFUL LIFE PRACTICE MEMBERS

I totally loved the in Person Bali 200 hour YTT with Alex It was life changing and so empowering. I signed up to learn how to bring my practice off the mat and into my daily life, I ended up learning so much more. A beautiful tribe of amazing women I feel comfortable to call my lifetime besties. A sacred time to grow and blossom into your truth, your integrity. Thank you, Alex and the whole tribe. xx ""

- Debra Collins in Melbourne

UPCOMING DEEP DIVE STARTS JUNE 11:

You're at least two months into your sobriety - but you realize sobriety, like yoga, is a practice Just because you're done your Sober Yoga Challenge doesn't mean that the work is over - it's really just beginning. You need a continuous small group to support you and help you stay accountable to your journey

You also realize that helping others will be key to help you help yourself.

You're curious about learning more about the history and philosophy of yoga - but aren't necessarily ready to step in front of a class and become a teacher. (Or maybe you are ready - and dream of teaching one day as part of the 30/60/108 Day programs?)

Perhaps you are already a yoga teacher and want to learn more about sober focused yoga

Or maybe you are a sober coach or leader of a sober community and want to bring meditation and yoga into your offerings

If the above is YOU - then the Deep Dive into Sober Yoga (100 Hour Sober Curious Yoga Teacher Training) is for YOU! Sign up here.

WORDS FROM MINDFUL LIFE PRACTICE MEMBERS

In 2021, I was on a pretty heavy drinking streak. I was drinking a lot at that time because of stress from work so I was drunk even during my shifts - no one could tell though as I was working home most of the time.

As it went from hangover to hangover every day, I said enough is enough It can't go on like this.

I wanted to become a better girlfriend, daughter, friend and a better person in general. I wanted the people around me to know that they could count on me and that I would always do my best to be there for them.

My life has been so much better since I stopped drinking. I finally sat down with myself and started the healing process. It wasn't easy at first, but it got better as time went on. I eliminated bad habits and started replacing them with healthier ways

I now have much better-quality sleep, my relationships with those around me have improved and I am more productive due to not having to worry about a hangover the next morning.

One of the main things that helped me was finding out that I'm not alone in this After discovering the MLPC and other communities online, I realized that we are much stronger together and it's much easier to go through this journey with people who have been through something similar rather than being on your own

Thank you so much to everyone involved in creating a safe place to share our stories and especially Alex! “

-- Alexandra Espandrova in Prague