The International Woman - Zimbabwe

Rum ad ele qua se rest e qui os!

CONTENTS

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rom the Editor,

I am so happy to finally bring alive the Zimbabwe edition of The International Woman magazine, a space that I created so that women's voices never get lost again. Or sidelined. Or silenced.

In this magazine, women will not be judged or criticised at all, we may criticise actions but never the person. There is a huge difference between attacking a person and pointing out flaws in one's actions.

I have always maintained that there are no bad women, only women who may get caught up in bad situations. I believe so much in sisterhood, and lifting each other and loving each other. Only then can we break the stronghold of partriach and claim our place of equality.

Zimbabwe means so much to me, I love the country of my birth but I am also cognisant of the fact that a lot still needs to be done to bring women to par with men in our country. Telling our stories and creating a public profile for ourselves is one way I found of not getting left behind in mainstream agendas, so hence this magazine.

I love it so much and I hope you will do too!

Love and light, Edinah Masanga

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04 - ZVISINEI DZEPASI has launched a journal called�I Call On You Sis: A Journal For Women and Girls Everywhere� meant to empower women to lift each other 06 - MEET EKENIA grew up with a passion for addressing the concerns of the girl child and protecting her from harm 08 - TALK SHOW HOST and socialite Tariro Makanga brings us into her world, and imparts invaluable advice on getting to the top 10 - ZUKISWA WANNER Excerpt from her latest book on the Burden of The African Passport 12 - A STORY OF GRIEF & rising back up; finding strength to empower others while dealing with social norms and taboos. By Chiedza Makwara.

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12 14 - EDINAH MASANGA "How my mum unknowingly raised a feminist" - and how success is contextual and unique for different people from different situations

25 - HOW AFRICAN WOME are misunderstood and stereotyped.

African women, especially black African women, are seen through a stereotyped and prejudiced prism.

16- HOT INTERVIEW How one Zimbabwean women created a beauty revolution through makeup. What she thinks on goals.

28 - SEX MATTERS Men Not Up To The Task As Women Turn To Toys In Search Of The Elusive Female Orgasm

18- THE AUTHOR Monica Kunzekweguta: lifting others through her writings

30- SLAVES TO LOVE? diaspora Opting To Pay Bride Price In The Quest For Marriage. Stuck in the Diaspora at times we are caught up in some interesting debates and new practises ones we previously frowned upon.

20 - DRESSING AFRICA Leading international designer speaks on African fashion taking centre stage.

22 - THE POWER OF RED Why is red lipstick considered for ‘boss ladies’ thus being associated with power; why is wearing red considered such a power move that women are advised to wear it in order to make a statement.

32 - MICHELLE OBAMA A textbook example of how women thrive & grow through adulthood 34 - SOCIETY Peeping Toms – and the normalisation of men's sexual privilege

38 - NICOLLE NDIWENI UK based Zimbabwean politician Nicolle Ndiweni.rose to prominence after being elected the first black cabinet member at Ashfield District Council in the United Kingdom. .42- TSITSI DANGAREMBGA Dangarembga’s journey spans over decades of groundbreaking and polemic work. Through theatre and published books she has sought to challenge negative cultural norms including systematic racism and sexism.

48- REALITIES OF BLACK WOMEN Almost All Beauty Products Sold to Black Women Contain Hazardous Ingredients 42 -FEMALE POWER The politics of the headwrap - and how women are taking back their power

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US based girls dignity champion

ZVISINEI DZEPASI has launched a journal called”I Call On You Sis: A Journal For Women and Girls Everywhere” meant to empower women to lift each other up and not the opposite

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imbabwean born and US resident Zvisinei Dzapasi Mamutse is on a mission to empower girls from her country of origin. Her organization, Vasikana Project, supports girls with material and other needs so that they do not miss school. When did you start working for girls?

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omething happened to me in 2014, (I turned 40) and I panicked and began to ask so many questions about my life and future.

safe dignified ways.

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hat touched my heart and I wondered why in 2017 we are connected by a touch of a button yet there is little development in the area of menstrual health?This then made me realize it was the silence in that area; society regards it as a taboo subject and hence no one talks about it. How can it be fixed if we are not talking about it?

So Vasikana Project was born from that conviction and is about spreading awareness as well as advocating for solutions.

asked myself if I was to die tomorrow how would my children remember me, what values have I instilled in them living my day to day life; nspiring. Who is Zvisinei?

CHALLENGES I yes I have instilled good work HAVE FACED ARE ethics, value of education but what other values have I passed ’m originally from Zimbabwe but now FROM THOSE on especially from my mother, a hard based in the USA. I’m a nurse by profesTHAT BELIEVE working compassionate woman on whose sion and I recently completed a Masters SPEAKING ABOUT shoulders I stand and all the other women in Nursing to become an Adult/Gerontology who came before her. So it became clear to Acute Care Nurse Practitioner. I have been MENSTRUAL me that if I died at 40, all my kids would married for 23 years to Honest Mamutse.

ISSUES SHOULD remember is that she worked very hard NOT BE DONE and was always gone on her shift. Hence ince our last interview with Zvisinei Vasikana Project was born from a converDzepasi, she has not stopped in pushing

BY A FELLOW sation with my sisters on passing on what towards empowering girls through puZIMBABWEAN, our mom instilled in us about community berty education. She recently shared her plans WOMEN WHO ARE to leave no girl behind and balance her for service and that nothing changes unless EMBARRASSED. you do something about it. better through the publication of her journal, I call on you Sis, a reminder to us as women, hy girls, what inspired you so how important our relationships and interactions are in remuch that you decided it had to be girls? newing our strengths and also to remind us to be mindful of our response when called upon, that we build each other up irls are the core of every society, girls tend to look and not tear each other down. The journal will be launched back more at their roots and I believe that when in Cincinnati Ohio, August 17th and Dr Yewande Austin you empower a girl, you change their family, their a renounced activist and speaker, President Obama 2017 village, and their community. Menstrual Health became our Lifetime Achievement Honoree will be guest of honour. The focus after a conversation with my sisters about the struggles journal will be available online worldwide. of girls in the rural communities to manage their periods in

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MEET EKENIA CHIFAMBA Ekenia Chifamba-Chidodo is one of the leading champions for girls emancipation to come out of Zimbabwe. She founded an organisation which ďŹ ghts for girls rights and moves for their total emancipation and has made phenomenal strides in a short space of time. She grew up with a passion for addressing the concerns of the girl child and protecting her from all issues that have the potential to destroy her dreams, hopes and full development.

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Tell us more about you as an individual.

Professionally, as the Founding Director of Shamwari Yemwanasikana (SYS), I have vast experience in developing innovative programmes; am deeply committed to improving the lives of girls and women with proven ability to provide team leadership, driving performance, programme improvement and quality initiatives. For several years, I worked as a girl child advocate steering girl child empowerment programmes at a well renowned Girls Rights organization called Girl Child Network.

Because of my relentless efforts fighting for girls rights, I was appointed by the Government of Zimbabwe to be a member of the Anti-Domestic Violence Council; where we are there to ensure that Zimbabwe is free from domestic violence in all its forms particularly in the lives of girls and women. To date, through the work we do at SYS, I have helped thousands of girls in need in Zimbabwe—girls who are victims of rape and other abuse, girls who are poor, girls who need counseling or education or access to the justice system or have escaped from childhood marriages.

So how does your organisation respond to these issues affecting girls that you mention here in detail?

The organization is a refuge for disadvantaged girls and a champion of their rights. SYS sponsors clubs for more than 350,000 girls. In the clubs, the girls get leadership skills, career guidance, and confidence building. They can take part in income-generating projects such as market gardening.

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Talk show host and socialite

TARIRO MAKANGA I believe in working hard and playing hard. I do not delay gratitude for tomorrow. I love the finer things in life, and as we know, they do not come if one does not work hard. The glass ceiling that we want to break as women can only be broken if we put our best in everything we do. I always aspire to do that every day. If others have done it, I can do it too.

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ariro Makanga is one of Zimbabwe’s finest women; smart, highly educated, beautiful, hard working but most of all generous and humble. Her work has seen her bring into the limelight the plight of People Living with HIV, sex workers and other key populations in the health and development sector. In addition, she has been instrumental in advancing the cause of adolescents, especially their Sexual Reproductive Health Rights through her televised talk show The Talk.

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ariro, your achievements are phenomenal. Share with us where you draw inspiration in life and, what makes you get up in the morning and seize the day?

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am inspired by the desire to excel in every facet of my life, leave a mark in my community through my own achievements that can be attributed to me. For me, every second that has passed is lost, you will not re-live it again.

I, therefore, am of the belief that I need to make the best of every moment. Do you have any role models you look up to?

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y mom is my role model of course. She instilled all the discipline that is in me. She is my number 1 role model. The second role model is Khanyi Dlomo, Founder of (former) Ndalo Media. I think I must confess that her professional, academic and business journey fits so much into mine. She is ahead but I will definitely follow. Lois Chingandu is another selfless intelligent woman who has put her own interests aside and dedicated her life to working in the development sector, where in all honesty Do you have any role models you look up to?

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y mom is my role model of course. She instilled all the discipline that is in me. She is my number 1 role model. I have mentored and supported the young women especially in areas of communication, dealing with the media, public speaking, grooming and building themselves as a brand. It is always heartening to see them transforming into powerful individuals. do get personal requests for mentorship which I struggle to turn down as if I do not do it, who will be there for the other women. I was mentored and supported by other women and therefore I need to do the same. Professionally, work-life balance is a struggle that I constantly grapple with.

Work has to be done, studying needs to be done, and my daughter needs me. It’s always a struggle but I always have to juggle and make sure nothing suffers in the process. And for me, that goes to show that I am only human and not a machine. The world is our oyster. We have no one to stop us.

Let’s be on accelerated mode to success and growth.

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THE WORLD IS OUR OYSTER. WE HAVE NO ONE TO STOP US. LET’S BE ON ACCELERATED MODE TO SUCCESS AND GROWTH.

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ZUKISWA WANNER Excerpt from her latest book on the Burden of The African Passport.

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cclaimed South African author Zukiswa Wanner has a new book, Hardly Working: A Travel Memoir of Sorts. In this book, Wanner navigates the politics of nations, and that of literary festivals but most of all it’s her laying bare the burden of the African passport that will make this book captivate your heart as an international woman.

Wanner herself is the true definition of an international woman; born to a South African father by a Zimbabwean mother, she lived in Johannesburg before settling in Kenya where she stays for the better part of the year and spends most of her time traversing the globe because of her work. It is on these journeys that Wanner chronicles her encounters with immigration and border officials.

Aware that having a South African passport affords her more privileges than people on other African passports, on Page 19 of Hardly Working, Wanner recounts one of the experiences of what we like to call the burden of the African passport. My late father studied journalism in Eastern Europe.

It had always seemed like a random choice to me when many other people I knew who studied in Eastern Europe had studied engineering or medicine.

But an invitation to Eastern Europe was always going to be welcomed by me as it would give me the chance to see a place often closed off, and yet where my father and many of his friends had spent key parts of their lives. Going to Ukraine would also allow me to reconcile with my friend

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CHIEDZA MAKWARA: A STORY OF RISING BACK UP I

woke up in my hospital bed at a local private hospital in Harare. The room was silent apart from the beep beep sound you often hear in hospitals. It was maybe 2 hours after surgery. I had pushed the baby out naturally, straight after I had been rushed into surgery as the umbilical cord was stuck. My gynaecologist had told me sternly right after delivering “If we do not operate on you, you will die.” This would be the 2nd time in my pregnancy journey that I would be operated on. The trauma is indescribableI glanced around the blue and white colour schemed hospital room. My best friend was sitting on the visitor’s bench with my mother and my aunt. My feelings were a cross between feeling numb and feeling rage.

The first person to speak was my aunt who said to me softly: “God has taken him to a better place.”

She spoke with such a deep reservoir of sadness, eyes so heavy with sorrow she was about to burst into tears.

I looked at her intensely then just squeezed her hand softly and said to her, “What other place could be better than my arms?

On this day a year ago, I had a stillbirth at 32 weeks. His name Zuva meaning SUN. I have not been able to talk

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about it openly for a while, because apparently, it is not the sort of thing people usually talk about especially publicly.

Then Michelle Obama started talking about it, Beyoncé talked and sang about it, fictional character Dr Amelia Shepherd of Greys Anatomy finally shared her long-kept secret about it to Dr Alex Karev after keeping it away from her family and friends (Thank you Shonda). So “me too” I talk about things. I am pretty successful at writing about things.

Let’s talk.

I am 1 in 4 women that have experienced pregnancy loss through stillbirth or miscarriage #iam1in4 My experience losing a child caused self-doubt, anger, embarrassment, guilt, PTSD and depression and a bit of crazy. A little while after my stillbirth experience I had 4 mild accidents in a YOU MAY WONDER row, I would just switch off and replay the moment over and over in my head, I HOW IS IT FOR had a loss of concentration, this usuME NOW, I AM ally happened in the car and I started A LOT BETTER suffering from insomnia, I did not sleep normally for months. I was exhausted all THANKS TO THE the time and I had to stop driving for a SUPPORT OF THE while. The most interesting thing about MOST BEAUTIFUL all of this is the same experience has also made me more self-aware, self-caring, AND WONDERFUL stronger, faster, better, confident and true PEOPLE IN MY LIFE in the pursuant of my dreams – you know WHO CONTINUE the big dreams that I did not think were TO INSPIRE ME possible are suddenly now possible. I guess losing the baby and almost losing AND LOVE ME my life twice during the pregnancy made me realize that I get just one shot of living my best life.

Throughout my journey of grief, which is, of course, ongoing, I am starting to realize that the grief never really goes, you sort of finding a way to cohabit and move on along, I was lucky to have met and be surrounded by a number of strong women survivors who came and reached out to me sharing that they too have experienced a stillbirth or a miscarriage and they strengthened me. Through their stories of resilience, I started getting my strength back up, building my self-bit by bit and layer by layer and unpacking the trauma and a year later, a little bit stronger and a little bit more courageous to tell the story. Some of these women who reached out to me were women I did not know at all, who heard about my loss, well because I am a bit of a public sharer, I can assume a lot of people were wondering what happened to the baby...

This is my advice to anyone who feels alone and does not know where to get help and is going through any sort of depression, especially regarding child loss, do not be rushed by anyone or anything, you will get there when you get there.

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Edinah Masanga

HOW MY MUM RAISED A FEMINIST 14 | Magazine

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grew up in a small and poor rural village about 120km west of Harare in Zimbabwe. Here, everyone knew each other and traditional cultural norms and values prevailed. They were practiced the same way for decades, as if rehearsed. Despite this, I was unknowingly raised to be a feminist.

I am the fourth born in a family of four boys and two girls.

My late brother is aircraft engineer Simbarashe Masanga— an academic genius. He was hardworking and smart, but so was I. In my village, people would greet my brother as “Dr. Masanga”. Most smart boys are expected to become medical doctors.

Yet, I was a smart girl, and the community would greet me as “muroora”, or “daughter-in-law”. It was clear from the start that I was being groomed for marriage, while my brother was being groomed for the professional world. It wasn’t by anyone in particular; it was the system.

I had academic prowess, but I was never recognized for it.

Instead, I was picked on for my body. I had large breasts, but my parents could not afford a bra for me so I went without one for all of my adolescence. My breasts began to sag when I was 15. Women of the village gave me a hard time about that. They remarked that I was now a slut. (Generally, in my community, sexual activity amongst single women or underage girls is defined as sluttiness, not as sex or rape respec-

tively). Women would say, “Oh, she is now a slut because her boobs are sagging. Someone must be sleeping on top of her.”

No one thought about my lack of a bra.

As poor rural dwellers, my family’s livelihood depended on peasant farming. My parents were always working alone in the fields and it puzzled people in my village. Girls were expected to help in the field, while boys were out herding cattle. I never set foot in the fields. Instead, I was indoors with my books most of the time. People in my village could not understand it; they complained to my mother that she was raising a lazy girl.

I LOOK BACK EVERY DAY AND FEEL PRIVILEGED TO BE HERE. WHEN I SAY “HERE”, I AM REFERRING TO THE LEVEL OF MY EMPOWERMENT, NOT MY PHYSICAL LOCATION. I HAVE A VOICE. I HAVE A LIFE. I HAVE A FUTURE. ”Who will marry her when she cannot even cook or do housework?” they would say. Often, my mother would have to defend my “laziness” to other village women. Little did they know that my mother was encouraging me to pursue education and financial independence over marriage. ”Marriage is not a goal; it is a choice. Financial independence is your life,” my mother would say.

She did not mince her words. She told me I needed money— not housework skills—to live life. ”To cook, you have to have the food to cook,” she would say.

Surprisingly, my brother, the genius, did not take part in any household chores and he was never criticized. Rather, he was praised.

No one complained that he was lazy—maybe because the system was raising ‘housegirls’ for him. I was supposed to be beautiful and keep my breasts firm, even without a bra. I was supposed to preserve my image as a decent girl, one who is good marriage material. I was supposed to be groomed for men in a man’s world. I would cry when old women pinched my breasts to check if they were getting softer (supposed evidence that men were lying on top of me).

My mother, an unknowing feminist, would console me and remind me that it was better to not be a virgin but a professional woman with her own car. I had not had sex, but I did not know how to defend myself against the allegations.

I could not defend my body against the standards that had been set centuries before me. I could not defend my hunger for education in a world where girls were to grow up to be good wives. I could not defend my inability to work in the fields during time off from school.

One thing was clear, the girls were being groomed to be maids and wives while the boys were to be masters of the house, doctors, engineers, and other science-based professionals.

I must say, my late brother noticed the criticism, the shaming, and the judgment that I faced every day. He defended me. He asked people to notice me, to value me.

When village women came to our house and criticized me for being lazy while praising him for being a genius, he would say, “But I am not better than Eddie.” After that, the banter went from declaring that I was lazy to saying, “We hope she will find a husband who can entertain the idea of a wife who goes to work.”

I was allowed to be good academically, but I was not allowed to have ambition.

Men were to be the center of my world. My decisions and my body had to please men—if they didn’t, I was a failure.

My mum, the unknowing feminist, would chide the village women in their absence. She’d say, “Well, they are well-mannered and hard working, but what do they have of their own?

Do you want to be like them? Have ten children walking barefoot and work in the fields your whole life?”

She would add jokingly, “With your light complexion, let’s see how that will work out.” She was referring to working under the hot African sun. “You, you must sit in an office all day. That is what suits you.My mother’s words opened my eyes. They inspired me to want more in life.

To know that what was around me—girls dropping out of school to become maids, to get married and have many children at a tender age—wasn’t all there was to life. Her words made me realize that what people accept as normal and label as good is not always the right thing.

Every day, my mother whispered words of women’s empowerment to me. Little did she know she was raising me as a feminist and that she herself was a feminist. She was the mother that every girl needs; she still is. She supported me and helped me to want more.

I did not waste my mother’s teachings. I was top of my high school class even though I missed school more than others due to lack of fees. I managed to leave the village to become a successful female journalist and women’s rights advocate in Zimbabwe. I went from barefoot, panty-less, hungry to very well fed. I emphasize food because the most traumatic memories of my childhood are of going to bed hungry. But in that memory of hunger, there is my mother’s voice urging me to be strong, urging me to be a feminist.

I live in Sweden now, in the free world, with the best of the world’s development at my fingertips.

I look back every day and feel privileged to be here. When I say “here”, I am referring to the level of my empowerment, not my physical location. I have a voice. I have a life. I have a future. But I am not blind to the fact that all this happened because my mother whispered words of independence and empowerment to me.

Her voice took me to the top—for me, “the top” is having four walls, electricity, food, clothes, panties, and being able to build my parents a house in an urban township. This is what I dreamed of while living in my mother’s leaking mud house.

And this is all possible because my mother, the unknowing feminist, raised me to believe in myself and to be myself. She Magazine | 15

Ruby Lynn on creating a beauty movement The story of not finding makeup products that are suited for black women’s needs especially in western countries is not a new one. One woman from Zimbabwe set to change it and succeeded. Now she shares her secrets and offers advice on following your passion.

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ow did Ruby Lynn Make-up come about?

Some women who liked the pictures started asking me to teach them how to apply makeup properly. As a result, I started making tutorial videos on how to apply makeup and posting them in the same group. There was so much passion from the women such that I realized they were hungry for more information on the subject.

It’s not something that I planned. I started off by doing a course to become a makeup artist. My intention was to teach my Zimbabwean sisters tricks on applying makeup because I used to hear a lot of negative talk about our appearance in terms of grooming and things like that. People would say ‘oh Zim What lessons have you learned while men run towards South African women setting up your own business? because their (Zim) women don’t know how to look beautiful.’

The lessons that I ALL A PERSON So to be honest that’s learned while setting what drove me to do up my business are NEEDS IS TO BE the makeup tutorials in the lessons that have PASSIONATE, the first place. I said no, strengthened my life STRATEGIC AND I have an idea of how and changed it forever. one applies make-up Mostly because I had TO KNOW WHAT and I know grooming YOU WANT. WHEN no one to ask, I knew basics and I’m gonna no one who has done LIFE THROWS YOU this before – create share those with my LEMONS, JUST sisters. their own makeup line from scratch. EspeMAKE LEMONADE Add to that, I had so cially starting to create much extra time after work - I have a your own formula, that process was Bachelor’s degree in Nursing but some- very difficult and made me realize how times I would go to work on night shifts strong I am. The biggest lesson I got and just feel bored that’s when I decidis probably realising that nothing is imed I needed to use that time fruitfully. I possible. I also learned that it’s only you enrolled in a makeup course and started that can place limitations on yourself taking photos of my made up face and but if you really want something badly posting them in my Facebook group you can do anything you want. Nothing Kugeza Nerunako na Ruby Lynn. is impossible in this life that we live.

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THE AUTHOR:

MONICA KUNZEKWEGUTA

By Grace Kwinjeh

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yes full of lust, Marange Apostle Sect’s Madzibaba salivates over young, beautiful and intelligent Monica Kunzekweguta, never mind her tender age he already sees in her a potential wife, hoping for the chance to pounce on her and satisfy his uninhabited desire for sex and multiply the fruit of his loins. He already has 11 wives and scores of children.

Mercy said no.

God had another script for Monica’s life. Today decades later she is a bestselling published author with one solo book and four compilations and has participated in four other anthologies.

Monica a graduate in Sociology together with other authors have just published Life’s Chrystal, using her own story, including years of experience as a life coach, she speaks to the wounded, rejected and broken. Her words and life story give healing and life.

to the fore a vile and evil practice the Apostolic sect has been condemned for of early marriages with many of them classified as statutory rape.

Every aspect of Monica’s being and life has been shaken, abandoned to the whims of patriarchy after her mother left her a toddler merely three years old after her parents divorced.

“After the service, two men followed me to our tent, and told me that, their leader got a prophecy that I should marry him. I knew what this meant, but I was not one to be intimidated. I told them that I was not interested,” Monica recalls.

Life has not been very fair to author and life coach Monica but that has not defined the woman she is today. What lessons do we learn from life’s hard times? How does one come to terms with the trauma of rejection, abuse and even worse betrayal?

Concerned the women’s rights movement has been raising awareness against child marriage, sadly it remains rampant with recent statistics revealing that 32 percent girls are married before the age of 18 and four percent before the age of 15.

Instinct and a deep sense of survival forced the young teenage girl to run for dear life from Makoni district in Manicaland to Harare, Zimbabwe’s capital city.

She makes a journey into the unknown

“Girls were expected to marry young, I was already 16. Men from that church who were in their 40s used to turn up at my boarding school asking me for a date. This was emotionally unbearable and embarrassing. I was too embarrassed to tell the school officials or anyone,” writes Monica in one her first books Silent Strength.

She could have been a child bride, instead she fled.

With her father’s full consent Monica is almost forced to marry a church elder, old enough to be her grandfather, a leader of a religious sect that allows child marriages. Monica’s story brings

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I grew up in the Marange apostolic sect, from a very young age men used to visit me at boarding school Hartzell High, looking for a date. It was both stressful and frustrating. I pretended they were my relatives because I did not want that to trigger some bullying. I had a tough time each time I went back to school with a shaved head. I was determined to finish school and live life on my own terms. Most girls were kidnapped at conferences, I was fortunate to escape. After my “O” levels, I was told that what I had done was enough.

I knew that this meant I would need to attend every conference and without

WHEN I WANT TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING, I WILL WORK ON IT UNTIL I ACHIEVE IT. IT MIGHT TAKE ME A WHILE TO GET THERE, BUT I WILL GET THERE. I AM DETERMINED, FOCUSED AND BELIEVE THAT THERE ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US. following a virgin path none had walked on before, leaving behind imprints of her feet others years later are surely and steadily stepping on to find themselves.

From Harare she moves to the United Kingdom then later to Canada where she is based now.

a doubt get married. After my narrow escape two years prior to that I decided to run away from home to pursue my education. _Child marriages are still rampant, and that really upsets me. It’s difficult to convince the girls and their mothers

lifting others through her writings

I PURSUE MY DREAMS AND IF I RUN INTO SOME TOUGH CHALLENGES, I AM OKAY WITH STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN.

that this is just perpetuating a life of poverty and abuse.

Some of my younger sisters still go and get married despite knowing that they can go to collage or university, I was the trend setter. Exposure alone is not enough.

We need to find a way to get through to the mothers, they are so afraid of ending up with an unmarried daughter. They believe that if a girl is over a certain age and is still not married, she will become a prostitute, and no one wants to be called that.

I am working on creating rescue homes, places where girls can be supported to go to school and learn life skills and get some education. Just advising them no to marry young without providing

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DRESSING AFRICA:

designer speaks on African fashion taking centre stage

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WOMEN NEED TO IMPOSE THEMSELVES AND KEEP BEING VERY ACTIVE IN THE FASHION INDUSTRY.

his week on The Interview we talk to Ngugi Vere, a leading designer and stylist based in South Africa.

African inspired designs and cloths are taking over the fashion scene, being seen on the Hollywood red carpet as well as in blockbuster movies.

This trend is on the upward and with it African designers are also rising. But what inspires Vere to create such powerful pieces which not only celebrate the African woman but lifts Afrocentric pride in general?

TIW: In your opinion, what contributed to the rise of the African print? what significance does this have on African women in particular and identity in general?

African print particularly the Wax print originated from Holland, and through trade and globalization it ended up in Africa where it was well adapted. The African print grew

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to influence African fashion because its a true inspiration from Africa. The thousand patterns on African prints show the diversity, nature, climate and history of Africa. It really defines Africa and, I personally believe it was originally from Africa before Holland and Indonesia mass produced and claimed its originality.

This has been very significant to the African woman because it expresses her heritage, Afrocentric pride, style and culture.

Its actually giving African fashion more and more international attention. The world is looking for inspiration and the way African designers are creating unique and bold designs with these fabrics is attracting attention.

How long have you been a designer and what is the name of your company; who are some of the prominent women you have styled

very active in the fashion industry.

I have been in the industry for 5 years now. Started off as a stylist and after learning what the world is missing, I decided to be the solution and create a brand that creates unique and bold modern African pieces. So I created Shona Accra lifestyle and we been creating amazing designs since. Our work is amicable and great craftsmanship. When you wear our pieces you really feel the African pride in you and we make everyone feel beautiful and unique. We have dressed some local and international women like; Bonang Matheba, Monique Bingham, KB, Gigi LaMayne, Bongi Mvuyana, Bongi Silinda, Chi Mhende, Assessa, Lerato Kanyango, Carol Tshabalala, Koshie Mills, Shekinah etcAre more women turning into designers? What’s your opinion on this?

It is still ironic to this day why there is a minority of women in the fashion industry which is supposed to be dominated by women. Women make up the majority of the consumers than the creators. Women are most talented but they seem to design for their own genders and dress to impress each other. Unlike men, men design to impress the woman who tends to be the majority of consumers

What are some of your notable designs, any significant meaning My current collection is a dedication to my late mother who left me at 9years. She inspired me to be in the fashion industry indirectly and I owe her this and I just wanted to

THE GILLIAN VERE COLLECTION IS ABOUT A STRONG, BOLD, ELEGANT AND DARING WOMAN. I TOOK HER FAVOURITE COLOURS AND STYLES AND FUSED IT WITH MY OWN TASTE IT TO GIVE IT A MORE CONTEMPORARY FEEL TO IT. THIS IS FOR MY MOM.

I just feel like women are not being given the power and recognition they deserve in the fashion industry for whatever reason I don’t know. It seems the world regards the men as more artistic and creative but the truth is sewing has always been for women since childhood and I bet 99% of male designers were taught to sew by a woman. Men still dominate the fashion industry and it is still ironic. Maybe women prefer other challenging industries that give them purpose and power. Women need to impose themselves and keep being

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THE POWER OF RED Why is red lipstick considered for ‘boss ladies’ thus being associated with power; why is wearing red considered such a power move that women are advised to wear it in order to make a statement.

R

ed is perhaps the most manipulative colour, influencing everything from your behaviour in the workplace to your love life.

A new branch of science called “colour psychology” has found that red can have a profound influence on our mood, perceptions and actions. Wearing red can even change your physiology and balance of hormones and alter your performance in a football match.

So what is it about the shades of ruby, crimson, and scarlet that makes them so potent?, probes David Robinson, a journalist.

“Red is the color of extremes. It’s the color of passionate love, seduction, violence, danger, anger, and adventure. Our prehistoric ancestors saw red as the color of fire and blood – energy and primal life forces,” "Red is simply sensational and its dominant place in today’s world of colour owes much to events that took place many thousands of years ago. One of humankind’s earliest observable activities was their decorative use of colour – in fact, it is one of the things that makes us human. And we can track down red’s hold over us by tracing the way artists got their colour over time – from animals, vegetables and minerals."Spikey Bucklowam.

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"RED IS NOT A COLOUR YOU WEAR WHEN YOU'RE FEELING SHY. YOU SWIPE ON RED LIPSTICK OR PUT ON A RED DRESS WHEN YOU WANT TO BE NOTICED. IT'S SEXY BUT ASSERTIVE, NOT DEMURE.

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The International Woman is published by M.E.Media of Sweden. It is widely distributed online and availble as a print copy in 11 countries. All rights reserved. Unauthorised copying in whole or in party is strictly prohibited.

HOW AFRICAN WOMEN ARE... misunderstood and stereotyped.

African women, especially black African women, are seen through a stereotyped and prejudiced prism. I will write today's piece in the context of Sweden, where I live, but I am sure other black African women will relate to this.

The daft myth Just by being a black African woman, people automatically assume that I can't read or write or that I do not have any form of education and as such, they talk to me from a boring, intellectually lazy viewpoint because they want to simplify things for me to understand. Sometimes I let it slide, on other days I get stunned such that I can't even say anything.

I am an intelligent being that gets reduced to child-like conversations because people assume that I can't engage in an intellectually stimulating conversation because of my skin colour. Whenever I decide to engage in a conversation with someone I am always looking for that person to complicate my understanding of the world and for me to do the same. I get disappointed most of the time. The thing even if I try to express that sometimes, I get dismissed. I have had people who never trained as journalists and have never written a single article in their entire life arguing with me on journalistic technicalities simply because they won't accept a black woman having a superior view on anything. How dare you.

What results from this is that I am always having to demand respect; assert my intellectual capabilities when in a normal world I would not need to. Because I have to do this all the time, I have developed mechanisms to put down people who say stupid things to me but in a world designed for African women not to win, I end being called the angry black woman for standing up for myself.

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Conating language ability and smartness: In Sweden where I live, we use the mother language Swedish as the official language for everything although I have to give Swedes credit because they also learn English in school and as such almost everyone can speak it so you won't actually get stuck.

However, it takes a long time to learn the language, some can learn it fast others take years and years, but I have noticed that in Sweden people equate language ability to smartness. in that analogy, if you can't speak the language you are dumb. And because of the gender dynamics that make it harder for immigrant African women to integrate fast or at the same rate as their male counterparts, they are (women) often grouped as the "unsmart" ones. One thing people seem to forget is that people have many bits of intelligence and some may not always work for the learning language capabilities but one would still be an intelligent person.

African women bear the brunt of this stereotype as they come to the diaspora burdened with the patriarchal gender roles and take years to break these shackles. Black African women are not unintelligent, they are oppressed.

The curse of domestication Gender stereotypes affect all women, but they vary in degree from one race to the other. African women, again, black African women, are normally associated with not just motherhood, but reckless family planning. People ask things like, why do you have so many children? This question is standard for women who have more than two kids as if black African are well equipped to make that decision on their own or any decision for that matter over their own bodies. Most African women, still either have to conform to social pressure to become mothers or do it out of necessity as a means of survival through marriage or partnership all that is not an entirely personal decision. But the black African women get to live with the consequences and the stereotypes.

No matter how much education or financial independence black African women have, they still have to be judged through a domesticity prism. How domestic can you be before we start acknowledging your worth as a human? I know women who have had to shrink themselves in order to please the men in their lives or to not look too threatening or even the ridiculous word emasculating.

Dream but not too much!

And finally the tired and equally annoying notion of being discouraged from dreaming 'too big.' There is a tone that I recognize when people tell me not to dream too much in which I can hear that what they are actually saying is that this is too big for a black African woman.

African women are among the most hardworking, intelligent and resourceful people on this earth. I wish the world would start seeing them as such.

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SEX MATTERS Men Not Up To The Task As Women Turn To Toys In Search Of The Elusive Female Orgasm.

The general consensus is, therefore, that female orgasm is less likely to be achieved by vaginal penetration but rather by a combination of multiple things.

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T

he subject of sex let alone orgasms, is considered taboo for open discussion more so when it is about women or by women.

Research has now shown that it is "anatomically impossible" for the vagina to achieve an orgasm via penetration only. This puts the question squarely on whether men can help women to 'finish' by just penetrative sex.

In most cultures, religions and traditions, women are not encouraged to openly talk about sex because it is considered that women who talk about sex like it too much and as such they are sluts. Most women who are married do not even discuss sex with their own husbands. Consequently, there is little information about the female orgasm openly available but thankfully with technology, this divide is being bridged.

Most men are known to assume that women can easily achieve orgasm via penetration but research contradicts this. An app for women's health, flo., writes that "75% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Vaginal orgasm means that a woman can reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation.

Most often this is through vaginal penetration. The latest research, however, suggests that vaginal orgasm is nothing but a myth since the vagina itself is anatomically incapable of producing an orgasm.

Women describe the most pleasurable experiences to involve a combination of vaginal and clitoral orgasm."

This deficiency of men failing to help women reach climax during sex has led women to look to other options.

As women are discovering that men are not up to the task of helping them reach the big O, they are now turning to themselves with the help of sex toys in order to enjoy one of the natural gifts of the human body, which has long been enjoyed by mostly by men.

A study that was published by the Journal of Medicine showed that women are more likely to give other women orgasms. This can be attributed in part to the fact that women know their own bodies well or to the fact that women are more likely to explore themselves more in a non selfish way.

The new exploits of women in satisfying themselves have been aided by the availability of different sex toys which make it easier for women to engage in self penetration as well as stimulation of the clitoris. With the rise in female orgasm, the sex toy industry has risen as well. This demand has also made research into more ways of helping women to reach climax being amplified.

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Slaves To Love?

AFRICAN WOMEN IN THE ...diaspora Opting To Pay Bride Price In The Quest For Marriage. Stuck in the Diaspora at times we are caught up in some interesting debates and new practises ones we previously frowned upon. One such debate or cultural shock is of us girls who are now daring to pay the bride price for themselves or to actually marry a man in the traditional African sense.

By Grace Kwinjeh n Africa, a marital union between two people can only be accepted as marriage when the bride price has been paid to the woman's family. However, financial circumstances can result in a guy depending on his fiancé to assist him with the cash to pay bride price or dowry to her parents, for their union to assume that semblance of dignity and acceptance.

This has not been much of an issue.

I

power, dominance and the endorsement that comes with it.

And so women are jumping hoops to get married.

Yearning the seal of approval to be known as a significant other, women are opting to pay their own bride price in its entirety. The discussion about whether bride price should even be paid is for another day, today we posit the question, why pay the bride price for yourself?

The women who are outrightly opting to pay their own bride price are the subject under discussion. Never mind the decades of feminist waves, women empowerment jargons to do with the women’s lib and our “arrival”, of our existence in the world without being dependent on men.

The unfortunate answer to that question seems to confirm that the struggle is real and sisters are indeed paying their own bride price. These are fine women who have done well in life.

The abhorrence most feminists have against bride price is because it is an exchange between males which seemingly commodifies and undermines women who have little or no say in its administration, calling for its abolition.

African men have long been in a better off position to pay dowry because they have had far much better opportunities than women. However, over the decades we became more and more like the men- education, great jobs and decent lives. We were done with toxic patriarchy.

ALL THINGS EQUAL WE SHOULD BE FINE, BUT IT SEEMS WE ARE NOT. WE REMAIN EXCRUCIATINGLY PHALLOCENTRIC, ATTACHED TO THE MALE POWER, DOMINANCE AND THE ENDORSEMENT THAT COMES WITH IT.

Moving to the Diaspora exposed us even more to cultures that actually do not attach marriage to one’s value or standing in society. You are fine and accepted married or not. But damn we still so want to get married.

All things equal we should be fine, but it seems we are not.

We remain excruciatingly phallocentric, attached to the male

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Instead of fighting to do away with the practice which represents a transaction between men with the woman as a commodity, we are now using our own empowered status to contribute to it. So can one safely argue that we are back to where we started?

The contradiction, the dilemma!

Before going further into this debate one wants to go back into the cultural and historical reasons why men had to pay bride price for women.

We are made to believe that back in the day when our grandmothers and mothers got married, the significance of bride price was that it was a token of appreciation between the two families. It’s value was in that the girl’s family received a token of appreciation for raising her, honouring her parents in the process. Of late however the bride price in the form of cattle and cash has become a money making venture for some families who charge exorbitantly making a killing out of their daughter’s marriages. This often diminishes the cultural value and flavour in the exchange.

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MICHELLE OBAMA A textbook example of how women thrive & grow through adulthood 32 | Magazine

Ruthellen Josselson, Fielding Graduate University Michelle Obama’s “Becoming” can be read in many ways: as a political memoir, as a story of being black and aspiring in America or as a Cinderella story that transports an ambitious black girl from a 900-square-foot apartment to a home with “132 rooms, 35 bathrooms and 28 fireplaces spread out over six floors, and a staff of ushers, florists, housekeepers, butlers and attendants for her every need.”As a psychologist who tries to better understand the course of women’s growth throughout adulthood, I was surprised to see that it can also be read as an illustration of how women ideally evolve. For decades, psychologists have relied on psychologist Erik Erikson’s theoretical model of the stages of life, a model based on how men develop that largely overlooks women.

I’ve spent 45 years studying women’s lives to remedy this gap, most recently publishing “Paths to Fulfillment: Women’s Search for Meaning and Identity.” I followed 26 randomly chosen college-educated women from ages 21 to 58. They came from large cities, small towns and rural areas. Some were the first of their families to go to college, and many struggled with early poverty and abuse. All married at some point in their lives, and just over half of them had children.

Most cultivated some kind of profession; others simply “worked.” In analyzing their lives, I offer a way of thinking about women’s life journeys that depicts the stages of adulthood for those who surmount the challenges they encounter.

Michelle Robinson Obama, despite living an extraordinary life, exemplifies the optimal path of development I found among my “ordinary” women. In contrast to Erikson’s male life stages, I learned that relationships to others are central for women’s development in adulthood. Candid about her inner life, Michelle titles her life chapters “Becoming Me,” “Becoming Us” and “Becoming More,” which map perfectly with the psychological stages of identity, intimacy and care – the eras I identified in women’s lives. In that sense, Michelle Obama represents “Everywoman.”

‘Becoming Me’ – the challenge of identity Like the women I followed, Michelle found her fulfillment in ways very different from what she had expected. As a young girl, she had modest aspirations: a family, a dog and “a house that had stairs in it – two floors for one family.”

Optimal identity formation involves exploring possibilities, reworking the goals of childhood and forging one’s own path.

Michelle Robinson set her sights on becoming a successful lawyer, emulating the people she had observed in downtown Chicago, “in smart outfits” and moving with purpose.

Dogged through her adolescence and early adulthood by the question “Am I good enough?,” becoming a Harvard-degreed corporate lawyer showed her that she was.

Her identity crisis came when she recognized she didn’t really want the life she’d achieved. She felt empty practicing law. Taking a big occupational risk, she found that working in public service or for nonprofit organizations felt like doing something for a larger good. Identity – “becoming me” – came from achieving her goals and then taking on what she expressed as the “universal challenge of squaring who you are with where you come from and where you want to go.”

Like Michelle Obama, women in my study often realized, in their 30s, that their initial choices were not what fit them.

Generationally, they were among the first to penetrate meaningfully into the work world where opportunities for self-realization were opening. They could become judges or take on management roles. They could leave social work and become teachers for more family-friendly hours. They could, like Michelle, think seriously about what suited them and change course. They could create their own identity.

‘Becoming us’ – intimacy The quest for intimacy, which became central in their 20s, led many women in my study to modify their own occupational goals in light of their partners’.

Like many of them, Michelle chose her mate after a period of developing friendship rather than initial passion. Once married, she then had the challenge of aligning her goals with his – which were far from her dream of recreating the close, warm family she’d grown up in. Michelle disdained politics and resented Barack’s time away from the family. She refused to uproot her children and move to Washington when he was a senator. Out of love, she supported Barack’s presidential run, but didn’t think he would win and, in some ways, hoped he wouldn’t. Intimacy was leading her on a path she would never have chosen.

Many of the women in my study followed similar trajectories

although, of course, on a smaller scale. One woman, Betty, had to readjust her goals as a physical therapist when her husband made a fortune in real estate and, in their 30s, wanted to retire and spend their time traveling. Maria, a nurse from a traditional Italian American family, had to become the family breadwinner when her husband was physically disabled. Like Michelle, each had to rework her identity to accommodate the unforeseen circumstances of her spouse.

‘Becoming more’ – care Adulthood is about what psychologists call generativity: investing in projects of care. Once situated in the White House, which she partly regarded as a prison, Michelle sought to focus her energies and use her influence for a larger good.

Michelle never internalized the media’s representation of her as a celebrity “rock star.” Instead, her generative need to promote well-being in children through nutrition and exercise were what motivated her - and she used her fame and special status for these ends. She was passionate about being a role model for girls, and she still tried to create a close family. She writes that one of the best things about her husband being president was that their home was above his office and he could be present for dinner most nights – helping ensure as normal a family life for their daughters as possible.

“Becoming more” – or finding a way to care for others – was central in the lives of the most fulfilled woman I have studied. When these women reflect on the meaning of their lives at age 58, teachers describe students who returned to thank them for things they said that changed their lives. A doctor remembers working as a volunteer with AIDS patients. A judge recounts letters she received from claimants who were helped by her decision. A mother spoke of how well her autistic child had done with her efforts to find him support.

Those whose lives had the most meaning were those who felt they’d had impact on the lives of others.

Culminating in fulfillment Not all of the women I have studied felt fulfilled by age 58.

Some were still trying to master the identity task, having drifted through life. Others never found the intimacy that could anchor their care.

But those who felt their lives most meaningful at age 58 followed the path that Michelle Obama details. They created themselves, shared this self deeply with another person and found that they could “become more” by offering themselves to promote others’ well-being. Of course, this can happen outside the traditional mold of marriage and children – many of the most profound and fulfilling connections my women reported came through their work or other relationships.

Like Michelle Obama, thriving midlife women create themselves in a network of interconnection with other people.

They are contributing in some important way to the lives of others. They don’t talk a lot about making money or climbing ladders. That’s not where their ambition is.

As one of the women I’ve studied put it, “You find yourself by giving yourself away.” For women, and perhaps for men as well, mature identity, intimacy and care develop in the context of relationship, something that psychology is just beginning to understand.

Ruthellen Josselson, Professor of Psychology, Fielding Graduate University Magazine | 33

Peeping Toms – and the normalisation of men's sexual privilege Upskirting – taking a photo or filming underneath a skirt or dress without consent – has finally become a criminal offence in countries like England and Wales (it was already an offence in Scotland from 2010). Yet despite this progress, a recent report conducted by British GQ reveals that one in 10 men don’t think upskirting is sexual harassment.

described as a “mirror” – with men seeing women as sexual objects which exist for their use and pleasure.

This is also enforced through the criminal justice system, which fails to hold men to account for rape – just 6% of reported cases resulted in a charge in 2017-2018. This shifts the focus to women’s failure to prevent men from raping them. Women’s bodies and sexual freedoms are weaponised against them through the use of rape myths and stereIn some ways this isn’t surprising, as otypes which serve to men’s entitlement and ALL A PERSON authorise and sustain sexual privilege has in men’s sexual privilege many ways become a NEEDS IS TO BE at the expense of cultural “right”. Take for PASSIONATE, women’s. example the response STRATEGIC AND to women describing their widespread expeEntitled to sex TO KNOW WHAT riences of men’s sexual YOU WANT. WHEN It’s maybe not surprisentitlement (#metoo), ing, then, that a legal LIFE THROWS YOU case in the UK saw the it wasn’t long before the LEMONS, JUST #notallmen hashtag judge stating that for appeared – with many men, having sex with MAKE LEMONADE men denying and northeir wife is a basic malising such behaviours. human right.

From video games developed where players (most likely men) can “play” at raping women, to advertisements that sexualise women’s bodies, men’s entitlement to women is just a given. This is further normalised and legitimised through pornography – which has been

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The case concerns a woman with learning difficulties and centres on whether the woman has capacity to consent to sex. It has been brought by the local council who are concerned about her capacity after a deterioration in her condition. The council are seeking a

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THE FRAGILE MASCULINITIES 36 | Magazine

court order that would prohibit the woman’s husband from engaging in sexual relations with her.

Although the husband offered to abstain from sex, the judge in the hearing made the decision to continue with the case and to hear arguments from lawyers on both sides. He was quoted as saying: “I cannot think of any more obviously fundamental human right than the right of a man to have sex with his wife – and the right of the state to monitor that”. He added: “I think he is entitled to have it properly argued.”

There has been public outrage on social media and in the national press about the comments made by the judge. But there also appears to be some confusion about the statement, and whether there is a human right to have sex.

A human right?

The Human Rights Act and the European Convention on Human Rights contain a number of rights offering protection, and freedoms, to UK citizens. And under Article 8 of the Act, it states that an individual has the right to a private and family life free from interference from the state. Some have argued this right may implicitly cover the right for an individual to have sex with their partner.

This right however, is “qualified”, not absolute, which means it must be balanced against other rights and protections. In any event, even if it can be argued that the right for an indi-

vidual to have sex with another adult is captured in Article 8, this clearly does not extend to providing adults with a general “right” to have sex.

As has been previously highlighted, having the opportunity to have sexual intercourse in and of itself should not be seen as a human right for good reason. If this were the case, it potentially offers justification for rape or could even place a responsibility on the state to ensure that sex is supplied to those who seek it.

Consequently, sex must be seen as a choice rather than a

THE BELIEF THAT MEN ARE ENTITLED TO AND HAVE A RIGHT TO SEX WITH WOMEN – PARTICULARLY THOSE THEY ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH – CONTINUES TO BE REINFORCED AND PROTECTED DESPITE SUCCESSIVE LAWS AND POLICIES AIMED AT ERADICATING THESE ATTITUDES AND BELIEFS. right, which cannot be exercised at the expense of others.

Rather, Article 8 provides individual sexual autonomy – the “right” to make choices about your own sexual relationships.

And such choices must be within the law.

Men’s privilege The language used by the judge in this case is concerning, as it explicitly implies there is a right to have sex – and that this extends to the right to have sex with a specified person. This may be a linguistic slip up, but it sends a powerful message about the way bodies – particularly women’s bodies – are viewed.

"The oppression of women stems largely from men’s desire for power and control. The same need which, throughout history, has driven men to try to conquer and subjugate other groups or nations, and to oppress other classes or groups in their own society, drives them to dominate and oppress women.

"Since men feel the need to gain as much power and control as they can, they steal away power and control from women.

They deny women the right to make decisions so that they can make them for them; they leave women unable to direct their own lives so that they can direct their lives for them. Ultimately, they’re trying to increase their sense of significance and status (...)

"But even this isn’t enough to explain the full terrible saga of man’s inhumanity to woman. Many cultures have had a strong antagonism towards women, viewing them as impure and innately sinful creatures who have been sent by the devil to lead men astray.

"This is linked to the view — encouraged by religions — that instincts and sensual desires are base and sinful. Men associate themselves with the “purity” of the mind, and women with the “corruption” of the body.

"In connection with this, perhaps men have resented the sexual power that women have over them too. Feeling that sex was sinful, they were bound to feel animosity to the women who produced their sexual desires.

We can only be thankful that, in some parts of the world at least, this antagonism — and the oppression that it leads to — has begun to fade away.

The belief that men are entitled to and have a right to sex with women – particularly those they are in a relationship with – continues to be reinforced and protected despite successive laws and policies aimed at eradicating these attitudes and beliefs.

In this way, men’s sexual privilege has been built into our society. A society where women experience high rates of sexual harassment and assault but men deny the problem exists – a message that continues to be endorsed, even in the courtroom.

Hannah Bows, Assistant Professor in Criminal Law, Durham University Attempting to understand fragile masculinities It is the relentless question that beats logic, the compulsion of men to dominate and control women. Or to dominate in general.

Dr Steve Taylor, a psychologist, explores the origins of and writes that men's compulsive desire to dominate and control others does not only lead to the suppression of women but of societies as a whole. Interestingly, Dr Taylor argues that men's animosity towards women may also be because women have sexual power over men.

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NICOLLE NDIWENI

On Breaking New Ground

WOMEN IN POLITICS HAVE HISTORICALLY BEEN MARGINALISED BUT WE HAVE SEEN OVER THE PAST DECADE A CONSCIOUS POLITICAL DECISION BY

“ I was elected as a District Councillor in Ashfield and appointed a cabinet member in my first term and that girl from Zimbabwe became the first black person to be elected in our district.” - Ndiweni

SOME PARTIES AND PARTS

made in the past 10 years, it is also the area where the gender gap remains widest. With MORE WOMEN INVOLVED. a score of 100 equalling gender balance, Sweden is currently the only EU country to score over 90 on the OF THE WORLD TO GET

2019.

Even though it has been a hundred years since women won the right to vote or were first elected into the EU Parliament in some countries, the issue of their under representation remains a vexing one.

political power indicator, which is based on the share of women ministers, members of parliament and women in regional assemblies.”

The report ‘Women in politics in the EU’ paints a rather gloomy picture, stating in part: “The

However, while there is widespread acknowledgement of the challenges faced by women who want to stand for public office, some have remained undeterred, motivated, and today we talk to one such woman.

Gender Equality Index shows that although power is the area where most progress has been

The International Woman talks to UK based Zimbabwean politician Nicolle Ndiweni.

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NN - was born in Bulawayo, raised in Karoi and I have been living in the UK now for 17 years.

Ndiweni who is also a businesswoman, rose to prominence after being elected the first black

IW- What inspired you to enter local politics?

NN - My passion for people and the importance of fighting social injustice is what initially led me down the political path I am on today. Having lived in Zimbabwe and then settled in the UK in a small town called Hucknall, I really wanted to give back to the community that had now given so much to me and had helped shape the woman I have become. I wanted to help and support residents, put measures in place for those in need and see our community grow by What are some of your notable designs, any significant mean- improving our services, building more social housing and securing investment in our local area. ing My current collection is a dedication to my late mother who left me at 9years. She inspired me to be in the fashion IW - What has your journey been like as a black Zimbabweindustry indirectly and I owe her this and I just wanted to an woman in a foreign land? honour her. cabinet member at Ashfield District Council in the United Kingdom.been for women since childhood and I bet 99% of male designers were taught to sew by a woman. Men still dominate the fashion industry and it is still ironic. Maybe women prefer other challenging industries that give them purpose and power. Women need to impose themselves and keep being very active in the fashion industry.

In the interview just before the EU elections Ndiweni (NN) talks to journalist Grace Kwinjeh (IW) about her political journey, her aim to be a Member of the European Parliament among other issues. Though the Labour Party on whose ticket Ndiweni stood for the EU elections did not do so well, Ndiweni stands out as a trailblazer, shining out as a beacon of hope to women of all races, especially, those coming from the African Diaspora who often struggle more to get into positions of power and decision-making in Western countries.

IW - How long have you been in the United Kingdom for?

NN - My journey has been exciting, challenging and an adventure I will never forget. I came to the UK at the age of 13, so you can imagine the change in environment, culture and even the drastic change in weather. I spent the majority of my high school years in Hucknall and fitted into the education system easily. I was always a really happy and friendly child, so I got my head down, played netball, made friends and was very quickly elected on to the school council and later became a head girl. These early leadership roles allowed me to grow in awareness of the social issues affecting my generation and the diverse challenges that affected young people.

I learnt very quickly how powerful dialogue, debate, problem solving, and empowerment were in our society.

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"PEOPLE APPROACH LIFE ISSUES IN VARIOUS WAYS"

I went on to study at the University of Lincoln and met some of the most amazing people in the world, most of whom are still my inspiration, counsel and close friends. I was elected President of the Afro Caribbean Society and that too allowed me to positively affect my surrounding, fellow students and wider community. After Uni I struggled to find work and started working for a bookmaker, whilst trying to figure out my next step. I later started working for the Women’s Centre, a charity that supported women fleeing domestic violence, women coming out of probation and those seeking employment and counselling. 2 years later I started my business Nicolle’s Boutique, selling hair extensions online and it was during that period that I decided to run for office.

I was elected as a District Councillor in Ashfield and appointed a cabinet member in my first term and that girl from Zimbabwe became the first black person to be elected in our district. Being in local government was an awesome experience and great opportunity to give back and serve my local community.

As a Zimbabwean woman in a foreign land I embraced my new home and community and we have learnt so much from one another.

Through any process of integration, I think it’s important to recognise that human beings are individuals, different, unique and sometimes complicated.

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People approach life issues in various ways and react differently to different scenarios, so in my life experience and elected roles, I have learnt to always be kind, understanding and compassionate. Being all those things along with making sure I am knowledgeable about the laws, policies and the social norms that govern life in the UK, has helped me serve my community to the best of my ability.

IW - Women in politics often complain about marginalisation, what has your journey been like?

NN - Women in politics have historically been marginalised

AS A ZIMBABWEAN WOMAN IN A FOREIGN LAND I EMBRACED MY NEW HOME AND COMMUNITY AND WE HAVE LEARNT SO MUCH FROM ONE ANOTHER. but we have seen over the past decade a conscious political decision by some parties and parts of the world to get more women involved. We are phenomenal, able and here to stay so we should never stop fighting for gender equality and continue to push the equal representation agenda further.

My personal political journey has been filled with women around me encouraging and supporting me to achieve my dreams and always telling me not be afraid of failure. I am grateful to God for the men and women that have been a part of this adventure and despite all the challenges I could not have picked a better time in political history to be involved in.

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TSITSI DANGAREMBGA: TRUTH TO POWER The International Woman is in conversation with award winning filmmaker and author Tsitsi Dangarembga. Dangarembga’s journey spans over decades of groundbreaking and polemic work.

Through theatre and published books she has sought to challenge negative cultural norms including systematic racism and sexism. With an unrelenting urgency and a rich personal experience, Dangarembga is also a trailblazer and pacesetter in the film industry, with her work making inroads into the African continent, where she is a source of hope and inspiration, telling the story of the African woman.

Through her work Dangarembga dares to speak in truth and overcomes myths and stereotypes, with a lasting positive influence on post-colonial Zimbabwe and the global community.

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Dangarembga (TD) our celebrated literacy Shero talks to journalist Grace Kwinjeh(IW) as we track her writing career over the past decades.

IW - You are an enduring inspiration to women. Who is Tsitsi Dangarembga?

TD – I am a several decades young, eternally youthful Zimbabwean born person who identifies female.

IW- I read while researching for this interview that you have suffered racial discrimination while studying medicine in the United Kingdom. A rarely talked about part of your story. How has this experience influenced or impacted your journey?

TD - I’ve suffered racial discrimination in my life. It began at a young age when I was fostered as a toddler in England. I also suffered racial discrimination in Rhodesia generally at the private school I went to. This was institutionalised racism and also personal encounters with racist people. One of the incidents that affected me intensely was having to leave my school because the physics and chemistry teacher did not arrive. The white girls went to the Umtali Boys’ High School for their lessons. As a black girl I was not allowed to attend those lessons. This happened after I had returned for my lower sixth year and discovered that I had obtained the best O-Level results in the school. I’d also just been voted a sub-prefect by my peers – white girls and black girls – in a school that had just started having black prefects the year before. Having to leave after all that was the most deflating experience of my life. I thought, “You can never be good enough. If you do one thing, they make sure you’re not good enough somewhere else.”

IW - Decades later it seems the threat of racism still exists, in spite of local laws and international pledges to eradicate it. Why do you think this is so?Black women are struggling so much racial backlash, we have the recent ongoing case of Caster Semenya in the sports arena?

TD- Racism is alive. Neo fascist movements in many parts of the world are working hard to institutionalise racism again. At the

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same time, informal racism has been with us for centuries.

International pledges to eradicate racism are good. The challenge is that racism is a practice rooted in prevailing power structures. As a result it is linked to many other systems of power in the world. Once you really work to eradicate racism, all other power structures are affected and would ultimately come tumbling down.

IW- As a celebrated black female author what has been your experience?

I LOOK BACK EVERY DAY AND FEEL PRIVILEGED TO BE HERE. WHEN I SAY “HERE”, I AM REFERRING TO THE LEVEL OF MY EMPOWERMENT, NOT MY PHYSICAL LOCATION. I HAVE A VOICE. I HAVE A LIFE. I HAVE A FUTURE. TD- I am gratified that many people have responded positively to my work. I am particularly grateful that many young African and black women have found my work useful to them in defining themselves positively. Nevertheless, it has been a struggle. My first novel was not published for four years after I finished writing it. It is ironic that during Zimbabwe’s liberations struggle, male writers writing about black nationalist emancipation had to be published outside the country. After independence, I, a black female Zimbabwean writer writing a novel about women’s emancipation had to be published outside the country also, as none of the publishers in the country were interested in NERVOUS CONDITIONS. Then there was the take over of the Women’s Press and the fact that I was owed tens of thousands of GBP which I was never paid. After that a publisher tricked me into publishing Nervous Conditions in a way that limits country editions of the book and therefore my sales to this day. It’s been a rough journey. The tide began to change when younger African women came out in support. Yewande Omotoso recommended me for a Rockefeller Bellagio Foundation Residency in 2016. That helped stabilize me after years of the stress and tension that come with being an older woman artist from Manicland province who doesn’t belong to ZANUPF in Zimbabwe. Then Ellah Wakatama-Allfrey read an early draft of THIS MOURNABLE BOD, recommended it for publishing and did an amazing job of editing it with me. I am eternally grateful to those two women and to my publisher, Graywolf Press.

My film career has been equally challenged. I studied in Berlin and graduated with distinction in 1997. In spite of having ten scripts at different stages of production, three of them production ready and one crowd funding project running on Indiegogo, I have not been able to make my own feature film.

When I was younger I was asked to work on the “development” film. These are films that problematize Africa and African lives, that are funded by international development aid money. Generally you have white producers from the

global north telling Africans what to film and how to do it. I worked on projects like FLAME, NERIA, EVERYONE’S CHILD and gave consultation services on some of the other development films of the era such as MORE TIME, but I’v never been able to raise the resources for my own projects.

Racism is much more virulent in film than it is in the literature because film requires big injections of money. This is where you see the link between race and power. The people who have the money want certain images only and not others projected about Africa. Anyone who has the potential for a liberating cinema narrative, especially if it is liberating from a feminist perspective, is side-lined. ´There were three other black women at the film school I went to. Two of them are teaching. Not one of us has made a sustainable career out of filmmaking.

Personal experiences such as deaths in my family and being raped by a doctor during a procedure took their toll on me mentally and spiritually, hurting my creative spirit. It was only after I came to terms with the rape that I felt my creative spirit recovering. This is why I say I lost eight years of my life to that abuse.

IW- What inspired your first novel ‘Nervous Conditions’ ?

TD- I wrote NERVOUS CONDITIONS because of the difficulties I had experienced growing up in a very patriarchal environment where I saw a brother favoured in many things because he was the first born and male. I wanted to show young women that they don’t have to give up on themselves because people don’t recognize their human value. I wanted to encourage young women to value themselves for who they are, and to develop the courage to stand up for themselves.

IW- The main character in ‘Nervous Conditions’ is Tambudzai, tell us more about her?

TD - Tambudzai is a rural girl who grew up in Rhodesia in the 1960s. She envies her cousin Nyasha, daughter of her well off uncle Babamukuru. England educated Babamukuru runs a mission school close to Tambudzai’s village. He takes Tambudzai’s brother to the mission to study so the boy can have a future. Tambudzai wants a future too, but no one thinks to give it to her until after her brother dies at the mission. Then Babamukuru decides that Tambudzai should be given a good education. He takes her to his mission, where Tambudzai meets her cousin Nyasha, who is feminist by nature. Tambudzai learns a lot of lessons from Nyasha.

IW - From Tambudzai’s time and struggle back then as compared to present day independent Zimbabwe; how much of your text would change to reflect the current social and cultural settings for the girl child?

TD - Not a great deal has changed socially and culturally Magazine | 45

NERVOUS CONDITIONS among BBC 100 books ever written since Tambudzai’s time. Very little has changed for the girl child. We had that blip of relative well-being immediately following Independence. It turned out to be an illusion.

The girl child is in an increasingly precarious situation in Zimbabwe and this worsens as the economy continues to implode. People might say that Zimbabwe social mores have become more lax, but this has a backlash. It opens up young people, especially girl children, to more sexual abuse and negative early sexual experiences. One of my film projects, NNENNA, is about this.

Tambudzai Trilogy that began with NERVOUS CONDITIONS, was published last year. The second in the trilogy is THE BOOK OF NOT. I’m currently working on a young adult dystopian speculative novel called SAI-SAI AND THE GREAT ANCESTOR OF FIRE.

IW - You are also the ‘first black Zimbabwean woman’ to direct a film “Everyone’s Child”; what was your experience given the sensitivity and stigma around HIV\AIDS issues?

Further compounded by the patriarchal environment you had to work in ?

IW - Tell us about your next books?

TD - THIS MOURNABLE BODY, which completes the

TD- The truth is that I am the first Zimbabwean woman to direct a film. A British woman came to Zimbabwe briefly in order to make films and so is given that title, but she is not Zimbabwean and went back to Britain. In any case, these titles don’t really mean anything. I don’t think being “first” has anything to do with the quality of ones work. I like to think of my work in terms of whether or not it is good, not in terms of whether it was the “first”. When I work creatively, I immerse myself in my subject matter. Surrounding issues recede. Working on EVERYONE’S CHILD, challenges did not come from stigma concerning HIV/AIDS, but from the practical situation of having to work with some white men who needed me to validate their African project. However, the DOP Patrick Lindsell was amazing and always made sure he supported my directors right to do my work when this was challenged by the producers. I remember wanting to damp echoes in a particular scene and being told that I was on an African and not a Hollywood production. At the time the black men I worked with were very supportive.

IW - Tell us about Neria the story which you also wrote and

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about music legend Oliver Mutukudzi who composed a popular soundtrack to the film; and ironically disinherited his own children, they were not in his will?

TD – I wrote the story that the film Neria was-based on. The American producers had read NERVOUS CONDITIONS and wanted to work with me, so they approached me. They did a lot of research, and presented me with a whole lot of tapes of widows’ experiences. They asked me to write a story in prose, which I did.

They then went on to make the film. I don’t how many feature films that outfit has made in Africa. They were also the producers who made EVERYONE’s CHILD and other films which I was consulted on. I met Oliver Mutukudzi at one of their wrap parties.

We had a great mutual respect for each other.

IW - You have also tried to give politics a go during the former President Robert Mugabe era. Does it bother you at all that there are less women willing to go into mainstream politics? Given your own experience how can this be changed?

TD - I joined a political party in 2009. This was a party that I believed had a vision and strategy for Zimbabwe that resonated with mine. I also believed this party had a leadership that could make a difference. This turned out not to be the case. Since then I have not seen a political grouping in the country with a vision, strategy and leadership ethos that resonate with mine. I have engaged with women to start a women’s party, but I see that Zimbabwean women are not at that stage.

Women can be groomed to go into politics by emancipating them as human beings. That is the work I do. It is clear to me that there is no political emancipation without subjective emancipation.

Emancipating women as human beings also means providing them with the resources required for success. Unsuccessful people cannot engage in politics in a way that impacts positively on society.

This is why we see a lot of women in positions in power in Zimbabwe simply reproducing characteristics associated with patriarchy and toxic masculinities, right down to how they undermine other women. They are dependent on their political parties for their livelihoods; rather than having built lives for themselves on which they can found their leadership practices.

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IW - What is your highest international recognition in terms of awards?

TD - I really can’t say. I was runner up for the Spar Mother of the Year competition in 2012. I value that more than I can put into words. In terms of recognition of my work, I would say having my short musical KARE KARE ZVAKO in the competition at Sundance in 2005 was a landmark achievement. I would like to win some major awards for my work, but this hasn’t happened yet.

IW - Any word for your many fans out there in Zimbabwe and the global community?

TD- I am so grateful to all the people who find meaning in my work. I wouldn’t be here without them. It gives my life meaning to think that I have touched others positively, in ways that made sense to them.

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Almost All Beauty Products Sold to Black Women Contain Hazardous Ingredients

A smaller share of hair and beauty products marketed to Black women scored low in potentially harmful ingredients than products aimed at the general public, US-based Environmental Working Group study of more than 1,000 products found.

"Because Black women appear to buy and use more personal care products, the limited options could mean they are being exposed to more potentially hazardous chemicals," the report said.

In an analysis of ingredients in 1,177 beauty and personal care products marketed to Black women, about one in 12 was ranked highly hazardous on the scoring system of EWG's Skin Deep速 Cosmetics Database, a free online resource for finding less-hazardous alternatives to personal care products.

Skin Deep速 compares product ingredients to more than 60 toxicity and regulatory databases and scientific studies, and rates the products from 1 (lowest hazard) to 10 (highest hazard). With the addition of the products analyzed for this report, Skin Deep速 now rates more than 64,000 products.

The analysis also found: - Fewer than one-fourth of the products marketed to Black women scored low in potentially hazardous ingredients, compared to about 40 percent of the items in Skin Deep速 marketed to the general public. The percentage of products scored as "high hazard" was about the same for both market

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segments, but the disparity in products scored as "low hazard" suggests that there may be a narrower range of choices for safer-scoring products specifically marketed to Black women.

- Potential hazards linked to product ingredients include

"BECAUSE BLACK WOMEN APPEAR TO BUY AND USE MORE PERSONAL CARE PRODUCTS, THE LIMITED OPTIONS COULD MEAN THEY ARE BEING EXPOSED TO MORE POTENTIALLY HAZARDOUS CHEMICALS," THE REPORT SAID. cancer, hormone disruption, developmental and reproductive damage, allergies and other adverse health effects.

The worst-scoring products marketed to Black women were hair relaxers, and hair colors and bleaching products. Each of these categories had an average product score indicating high potential hazard.

- In the categories of hair relaxers, hair colors and bleaching products, lipsticks, and concealers, foundations and sun-protective makeup, none of the products analyzed were scored as "low hazard."

In other news, in Africa black women are taking back their natural hair beauty. Watch video for more.

THE HOT QUESTION: WHY IS WEARING FAKE STRAIGHT HAIR BY WOMEN OF COLOUR PERCEIVED AS SELF-HATING?

Women of color have gotten tangled in the natural hair and authenticity movement. Natural hair has become a leading question used to gauge women's self-love and confidence in their own skin - with the notion of wearing a straightened wig weave being perceived as fake or self hating.

First, understanding the natural hair movement itself and how it was born will help us understand the intricacies of this debate. The natural hair movement started in the United States as part of a wider race discourse. Fundamentally, 'natural, kinky hair–which is most associated with blackness– has also been tied to inferiority' in America.

Malena Amusa writes that 'still today among African Americans, there exists a strata between those with "bad hair" and "good hair," the latter being hair that is most in sync with the dominant culture.'

"Due to the power disparity between the slave’s culture and that of their masters, straight “white” hair was cast as desirable while natural hair was demeaned. This labeling of “good” and “bad” hair grew particularly divisive as mixed-race children became more common. Natural “nappy” hair was firmly cast as unacceptable,"writes CurlCentric.

And so the natural hair movement in the US was born as part of a wider resistance to white superiority in the society.

But now it has also become big part of the beauty and self-

love conversation.

In a conversation about her book, author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said that hair is a political issue and that 44th American president Barack Obama would have never been elected if his wife had curly, kinky or dread-locked hair.

She added: "Black women's hair is political... By walking into a room with my hair like this [cornrows using Afro Kenke hair] people make immediate assumptions."

“For black women, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t,” said Ingrid Banks, an associate professor of black studies at the University of California at Santa Barbara. “If you’ve got straight hair, you’re pegged as selling out. If you don’t straighten your hair,” she said, “you’re seen as not practicing appropriate grooming practices.”

“If your hair is relaxed, white people are relaxed,” the comedian Paul Mooney, sporting an Afro, says in the documentary “Good Hair,” which won a jury prize at the Sundance film festival and comes out in October. “If your hair is nappy, they’re not happy.” (NYT) Consequently, the general assumption is that when women wear artificial straightened hair, they are appeasing or pandering to whiteness.

In this logic, the debate about women of colour and natural hair has less to do with beauty, and more to do with race politics.

BUT WHAT DO THE WOMEN SAY? The International Woman posed the question to experts on women's issues in different countries including a journalist and this is what they had to say.

It is unfortunate that women are often expected to present their bodies in particular ways that may not necessarily be what women are comfortable with. The idea that women of color who choose not to wear their hair in a natural state are self-hating, assumes that for women to love themselves they have to be a particular way. Women have a right to decide on how they present their bodies, decide on how they choose to love themselves, and not meet someone else's expectation of self love - Nonhlanhla Sibanda, South Africa I personally subscribe to the notion where I let everyone who they want to be and do what they feel makes them look good.

Having artificial hair for me comes when I want a different look, and I wear the hair with pride. There are days I have gone bald, and there are days I rock my natural hair. It’s never about self-hate but how I am feeling on that particular day. I wish we could just let people be - Tariro Makanga, Zimbabwe I think [women who wear artificial hair] look beautiful and there is nothing wrong with it, I prefer short natural hair.

I love long Afro hair too, I think it’s an expression of our identity. There is a growing consciousness to black identity and kudos to sisters like Lupita, Danai and others who are standing out in this regard.

- Grace Kwinjeh, Belgium Magazine | 49

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The politics of the headwrap - and how women are taking back their power

A piece of cloth tied beautifully on the head of a woman has moved from being a controversial tool used to control women to a powerful accessory used to bring out their diverse beauty. It's the headwrap.

The headwrap is, however, a political conversation on its own. A complicated one because the headwrap is tainted by its history and association with archaic manoeuvres to control women and enforce their subservience.

Liana Aghajanian writes that 'the headscarf has been banned, made mandatory, hailed as a symbol of religious virtue, accepted as a means of controlling female sexuality, and politicized by governments and colonizers across the world.

Manipulated and misinterpreted, it is seen as both a sign of liberation and imprisonment, of progress and regression. It’s a source of friction both outside and inside the communities that wear it.'

Writing in the HuffPost South Africa, Zongile Nhlapo concurs saying the headwrap 'was imposed on black women as a badge of enslavement.'

In the Shona tribe of Zimbabwe, married women must cover their heads as a sign of decency as well as to show to the community that they are married. In other words, it is used to objectify women and control their sexuality.

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Headwraps are also used in other African cultures like the Yoruba tribe in Nigeria where if you were married you would have to tie the wrap in a certain way.

Despite all this baggage, the headwrap is moving from a tool for women's oppression to an accessory to accentuate their beauty and women themselves have taken back its power.

The headwrap has now evolved into a fashion piece with celebrities like Chimamanda Adichie using it as a fashion accessory. Many other women the world over do.

Paola MathÊ founder of a headwrap brand Fanm Djanm says she saw the headwrap 'as something that focuses not only on celebrating strong women and selling beautiful and quality headwraps to women around the world but also on helping women realize that the headwrap can be something that's not just used to hide their hair — but a coveted accessory, like a purse or earrings.'

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