THE NICE LIST o, how are we meant to fit this pub into a Christmas stocking again

1 3

2

The NICE list

Good news! According to a certain Christmas advert, we’re all off the hook. As a reward for putting up with the Year of Weirdness, we’ve all been given a get-out-of-jail-free card for our sins, meaning that nobody’s on Santa’s Naughty list. OK; so who wants what, then?

Pat wants crowds back in the stadium, and Tom wants a full theatre. Jody wants a hedgetrimmer, and Emma wants a pub. Marvin wants a hammock. Stan wants a magical cake – or failing that, any kind of cake . . .

1MARVIN REES, MAYOR OF BRISTOL At a city level, this Christmas I’d like a safe and stable home for every child in Bristol. On a personal level, I’d like a hammock.

2TOM MORRIS, ARTISTIC DIRECTOR, BRISTOL OLD VIC My best imaginable Christmas presents would be: a bantom; a new album by June Tabor; a DVD of Ben Stokes’ hundred against Australia in 2019; an adaptor which allowed me to use headphones while recharging my phone; a ruined farmhouse in the Forest of Dean, which I could slowly rebuild over the next 20 years. And a full theatre. 3LINN WAITE, PRODUCER, EARLY DAY FILMS I’d love the Watershed and Cube to be open and showing classic Christmas movies on the big screen; my choices would be White Christmas and TheMuppet Christmas Carol.

4JODY THOMAS, ARTIST A cordless hedge-trimmer. I’ve cut through the wire of my inherited trimmer so many times it’s got slowly shorter every summer. Also, the fi nal interior pieces for my Landrover project car; only four years in the making. I buy at least two coats or jackets a year but never throw them away. Pretty much every stitch of clothing I buy will eventually be demoted to painting clothes. Given the year it’s been, I’m also going to buy myself some art from artists to support them – some from Bristol, some from further afi eld. 5RICHARD JONES, PUBLISHER, TANGENT BOOKS Wales to beat England at everything. Free public transport. Bristol Rovers promoted. The introduction of Cider Day as a public holiday.

6SHEILA HANNON, CREATIVE PRODUCER, SHOW OF STRENGTH A pair of Scrooge earrings, as played by Alastair Sim, from renownfi lms.co.uk. They also sell a Bah Humbug print by Steve Lilly, and Margaret Rutherford earrings; a pair of those too, please.

7EMMA RICE, ARTISTIC DIRECTOR, WISE CHILDREN I want a public house; aren’t they fantastic words, when you think about it? I want one of the many local pubs that have been forced to close in recent years. I want to breathe new life into it, and into the community it serves. I imagine a

4 6

5

7 9 10

8

big kitchen and a large events room where Wise Children can make work, teach, eat and make music together. I imagine cosy upstairs bedrooms where friends and artists can come and visit to fi nd themselves restored, renewed and inspired. And then, at the weekend, we would open our doors to the beautiful public. Ours would be a pub that told stories and encouraged dance. Ours would be a pub that had music and poetry fl owing out of the windows and laughter cascading onto the street. We would drink fi ne local beer and eat delicious local produce. Overnight, the Wise Children team would turn from actors to waiters, administrators to chefs – and who knows, I might even pull pints! That’s what I want for Christmas: The Wise Child!

8THANGAM DEBBONAIRE, MP FOR BRISTOL WEST I’d like some kind of electronic notebook that can store my handwritten notes and synchronise them with my computer. This is a big step for me; I am someone who cannot pass a stationery shop without perusing the notebooks and fountain pens. But I can see that maybe it’s time for me to get with the programme, cut down on the number of paper notebooks I carry around with me and try something more portable, and I’ve heard there are some which look and feel like actual notebooks, which is encouraging. 9LARKIN KEN, CHEF, WOKY KO A new set of golf clubs, and some time in 2021 to get back into playing again. I used to be quite good!

10TESS LIDSTONE, RESTAURANT MANAGER, BOX-E I have ‘eye pillow’ written in my iPhone notes; however, if I found a Psychopomp ‘Staying Gin’ package in my stocking then I’d be very happy. Even happier if my close family had one too, so we could cheer each other with the same drinks via the power of WhatsApp.

11CATHY MAGER, CREATIVE PRODUCER, BRISTOL BEACON Our A New Song for Bristol inspires people to write and light up the dark nights with inspiring new songs and poems about Bristol. We might not be able to have carol singing, but our living rooms can be alive with music through the many online concerts on offer. I’d also like the Queen to learn British Sign Language online, and do the entire Queen’s speech in BSL. Snow on Christmas day, so Perett Park, aka the Totterdown Alps, transforms into a snowswept, socially distanced Brueghel painting once again. That all our Christmas trees are surrounded by presents bought from local businesses that have been unable to open, but are still selling online. 12KAM KELLY, DJ, SAM FM I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want for Christmas. Not to cry during my annual viewing of Love Actually. Not to scream “F*** you Gruber!” at the end of my annual viewing of Die Hard. Not to look like an embarrassing family member at a wedding during my annual dance to All I Want for Christmas is You. Not to feel guilty for not sending Christmas cards when pasting faces onto online dancing elves will do. Not to get into a relationship pre-Christmas which inevitably ends up in divvying up how much time is spent with who’s family. Failing all that, socks, aftershave and money will be fi ne.

13MARTI BURGESS, PARTNER AT BEVAN BRITTAN, CHAIR OF ST PAULS CARNIVAL A Peleton bike, as the cheap imitation I bought in the fi rst week of the last lockdown broke after about six weeks, and thanks to the gyms being closed I am feeling my clothes getting tighter. Tickets to go to Jamaica as soon as we are allowed – I need the beach, sunshine, buckets of rum and jerk chicken. If I don’t get the tickets to Jamaica, a really nice bottle of aged rum would suffi ce. A Kamado Joe BBQ, so I can make the jerk chicken to go with the rum. Books – preferably ones set in the Caribbean, so I can dream about being in Jamaica again.

11 12

13

17

15

16 18

14MARTIN KISZKO, COMPOSER AND AUTHOR New dance shoes: a magic pair, that will also bring a partner.

15MARK OLVER, COMEDIAN AND HOST WITH THE MOST I’d like a cowboy hat. And boots. And chaps. And a denim jacket with tassels. And I’d like society to not judge me for wearing these.

16NIKESH SHUKLA, AUTHOR AND JOURNALIST For Christmas, I’d really like one of the many streaming services to show the fi lm Mississippi Masala, because it’s a classic I’ve not seen since I was a teenager and I really want to watch it again. And a treadmill. And room for a treadmill.

17COLIN MOODY, PHOTOJOURNALIST All I wanted for Christmas was to see Giuliani giving a speech outside Four Seasons Landscaping between a dildo shop and a funeral parlour. It was high art. It was perfect. It was a gift parlour. It was high art. It was perfect. It was a gift to us all. to us all. 18MARK TAYLOR, FOOD AND MUSIC JOURNALIST JOURNALIST One of the only real upsides of not eating out twice a day due to the restrictions has been that I’ve fi nally lost all the weight I gained reviewing restaurants over the past 20 years. The problem is that I’m having to walk around hoisting up my trousers, so some posh Jermyn Street braces is high on my Christmas list to avoid any embarrassing incidents in 2021.

19STAN CULLIMORE, HOUSEMARTIN GUITARIST TURNED JOURNALIST A cake that cures Covid, makes you thinner the more you eat it, and smells like raspberries. If that’s not available, I’d happily settle for a cake. Any cake, really. Doesn’t pay to be fussy when it comes to gifts. Oh, and a really nice cup of coffee to go with it.

20LUKE JERRAM, MULTIDISCIPLINARY ARTIST I’d like a blanket ban on homelessness. The fi rst lockdown showed that we can get everyone off lockdown showed that we can get everyone off the streets if there is the political will to do so. the streets if there is the political will to do so. 21EMMA KEAVENEY-ROYS, ACTOR If Santa were somehow unfeasibly rich and generous this year, I would request a theatre-sized projection screen and a waterproof projector, so that I could set it up on the pontoon in Bristol Marina where I live, and we could all watch the Die Hard franchise from our boats and the surrounding fl ats; passers-by could join in, too. Christmas Bruce for all to enjoy.

22DOMINIC BOREL, CO-OWNER OF THE PASTA LOCO GROUP A negroni or three. A Brexit rethink. Some rest. A run to Italy. A two-day long lunch.

23PAT LAM, DIRECTOR OF RUGBY, BRISTOL BEARS My Christmas wish is to have supporters back in stadiums. We’ve missed being able to celebrate with our fans, and it’s just not the same without their passion and backing. It will bring festive cheer to the city to be able to enjoy live sport together as soon as it’s safe to do so.

19 21

20 22

23