Health & Family

Death, luck and power

THEREare three quotes that have guided my life, in no particular order. The first was from my Australian Auntie Queenie, who was fond of reminding anyone who’d listen: “The moment your sperm meets your egg, you join the queue for death.” Humans – like every other living thing – are born to die, and the price By DrPHIL HAMMOND we pay for evolving such large brains is that we know it long in advance. This can either liberate us to get on with our one wild and precious life (as Andy says in the Shawshank Redemption, “get busy living or get busy dying”). It can also fill us with anxiety: “How close to the front of the queue am I today, Lord?”

Or if you’re a comedian, you simply laugh. As Jeremy Hardy put it: “How do we live life to the full? At the age of 43, I have decided to live each day as though it were my last, so I lie in bed all day, slipping in and out of consciousness.”

I was lucky enough to know and work with Jeremy and was very sad when he died from cancer at the age of just 57. We can change our behaviour to try to alter our position in the death queue, up to a point.

As Kingsley Amis observed: “No pleasure is worth giving up for the sake of two more years in a geriatric home in Weston-super-Mare.” But we can’t cheat bad luck.

Many people who live healthy lives suffer horrible illnesses at a young age. Which brings me to my second quote. As one of my favourite authors, William Boyd, wrote in Any Human Heart in 2002:

“That’s all your life amounts to in the end: the aggregate of all the good luck and the bad luck you experience. Everything is explained by that simple formula. Tot it up – look at the respective piles. There’s nothing you can do about it: nobody shares it out, allocates it to this one or that, it just happens.”

We all experience good and bad luck, and how we cope is partly down to how we play the cards we’re dealt. I lost my Australian dad Barry from suicide when I was only seven but my extraordinary mum Pat brought my brother Steve and I back to England, met and married a wonderful Wiltshire builder called, Stan, who I was very lucky to have as a second dad.

The current pandemic is a lottery of luck. Some 40 million people have yet to be knowingly infected by the virus or have fully recovered, but several million have lasting and debilitating long Covid symptoms and over 160,000 have died.

How to allow society to function in such a variable situation? Impose laws to limit spread or allow individuals to choose what risks they take, even if they put others at risk?

Which brings me to my final quote, from The Healer’s Power by doctor and philosopher Howard Brody: “The central ethical dilemma in life is the responsible use of power.”

The extreme example of this is war. Throughout history, those with the most power and weapons have been able to prosecute war on whoever they wished. But as individuals we hold power over ourselves and those around us.

Cruelty and aggression leave life-long scars; kindness and understanding can help heal the most appalling bad luck. We could all be in Ukraine in a different life. Or living with motor neurone disease. Or bereaved by suicide or cancer.

Enjoy your good luck when you have it. But share your good fortune as widely as possible with those less fortunate.

Dr Phil is appearing at the Edinburgh Fringe (August 13th-27th), Wedmore Arts Festival (May 7th) and Widcombe Social Club Bath (July 22nd).

Plop the Raindrop

ONEof your ancestors once said that April was the cruellest month, but events in Ukraine in March would take some beating.

I was in a cloud over Ukraine when the conflict started. So I had a bird’s eye view as the destruction began and masses of people started fleeing for safety.

I’m no novice when it comes to violent conflict. As a water droplet, I was there at the birth of the earth when the opposing forces of nature showed they were capable of splitting space itself.

But that kind of unpredictable, natural event is beyond any kind of control, unless there really is a God. I’ve never met him, or her, or it. So I’m a bit of a sceptic, given my considerable age.

On the other hand, what did make everything or now controls anything? How random is life? Noone can tell when a volcano will erupt or a hurricane arrive to wreck an entire island. So natural disasters don’t have any explanation. But events in Ukraine do. You human beans have developed lots of special ways of killing each other. Stupidly. If we water droplets behaved in that way, literally all life on earth would disappear. We stay together to form your oceans, water your crops and make up most of your bodies.

We also make the tears now running down the faces of so many people in Ukraine. So why do you do it?

OK, I accept you are basically animals who have managed to develop big brains, but other animals don’t have the destructive instinct that you have.

Big males might challenge each other for leadership of a pack, but they use teeth, claws and horns to do it, rather than weapons. And they don’t generally expect everyone else to get involved and risk getting killed.

Most animals kill just for food, as you used to do. You seemed to live in relative peace while you had plenty to eat and plenty of space.

Then you seemed to get a bit jealous of what the tribe next door had and might bash some of them occasionally with a rock or a stick. You are more deadly now, with all of your weapons of war.

The line about April was written by a man called T.S. Eliot in 1922, worrying about the future of the world. I was there when he wrote it. Things haven’t changed much, sadly.

Most human beans are friendly and peaceful. But it only takes one mad one…

MENDIP GRANDAD

Old-fashioned service

AS our name implies, we at Bath & Wells Funeral Services pride ourselves on “service” and that includes taking great care to ensure we don’t expect you to come into our offices, unless you want to. Call us old-fashioned, but we prefer to visit you in a

Rod Major more relaxed atmosphere as dealing with the loss of a loved one is hard enough. Whether it’s a funeral plan or planning a loved one’s end-of-life care, we don’t want you to be under any extra pressure, so we come to you; that includes my celebrant.

From the initial visit, to viewing your loved one, to any follow-up visits and phone calls the day before the funeral to reassure you that everything is in place as planned; it’s no less than I would expect if I were instructing a funeral director myself.

Rod Major, Bath & Wells Funeral Services

Suzy (centre) with stylists Heidi (left) and Joanne

Join my team

SUZY Furber, managing director of Suzanne Elizabeth Hairdressing in Faulkland, is looking for an experienced stylist to join her friendly team.

Recently the salon, on the High Street, celebrated its eighth anniversary and attracts clients from a wide area. Suzy said: “I love it here. I’m very lucky to have such a wonderful, talented team and to have so many lovely clients also – thank you!”

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Your Local Award-Winning Funeral Director

Rod Major, owner What our customers say:

“From the start, Rod was extremely amiable, caring and attentive and was eager to attend to all our requirements. We were very particular as to what we wanted for my mother's funeral service and burial which veered away from the usual plans. Despite this, Rod was very adaptable, readily communicated with us throughout the process and nothing was ever a problem. The day itself, although tinged with great sadness, was as lovely and intimate as it could be and Rod and his team were infinitely respectful and took time and care over every stage. Myself and my family are very grateful to Rod and his team for making the day so special and such a fitting memorial to a much loved and quite unique lady.” LR “I would personally recommend Rod to everyone. Recently my dad passed away and Rod was so supportive from the very first call we had. I live in America, and Rod would respond night and day to my emails and calls. When I arrived back in the UK, he visited and supported both myself and my mum to talk us through the process, ensuring that my dad had a beautiful send-off. He handled everything personally and professionally, from the flowers, the order of service, to the very personal day of the service. If you are searching for a high-touch, high care, bespoke funeral director, then without question, I would recommend Rod and his team.” EK

Call Rod on 01761 233 555 or email: fd@bwfd.me.uk www.bathwellsfuneralservices.co.uk

The hedging season is done –time to welcome our wildlife back

THEancient country skill of hedge laying is enjoying something of a revival. You may well have noticed the adverts from a number of conservation groups, like the Mendip Society, running training days for beginners to learn the necessary techniques for keeping this very important feature of our countryside growing well and thickly.

This is so they can fulfill the vital role of field boundaries keeping in sheep and cattle, controlling the ebb and flows of water, absorbing carbon and providing food and shelter for all manner of animals, including us human foragers.

For the society it is an important part of our constituted aim of caring for the fabric of the Mendip Hills; to this end we held two hedge laying days in our reserves. They couldn’t have had more contrasting weather, Slader’s Leigh seeing a deluge of rain that refused to give up (but thankfully neither did the trainees) and Tania’s Wood enjoying a bright crisp day.

Along with the training come Mendip’s local competitions, necessary to encourage and inspire beginners with help from veteran, hedgers. This year The Mendip Society helped sponsor the Wrington and Burrington Hedging Society match at which our chair, Tina Bath, won the Open Class, and also the best overall Veteran Plaque.

Last year we also provided two training weekends in dry stone walling skills and, as they were heavily oversubscribed, we intend to hold another this spring to accommodate our reserve list.

We are continuing to offer small grants for projects which enhance and protect the Mendip area and enable as many people as possible to enjoy the benefits of the countryside. This spring we have financially supported Burrington Parish Council in their efforts to keep open the public toilets in Burrington Combe.

Unfortunately very few of the many hundreds of people who use the facilities contribute towards the upkeep. The switch from cash to cards has meant less money in the collection box.

Summer time always means our visit to Gully Cave in Ebbor Gorge, where our small grant contribution helps Prof. Danielle Schreve and her university students continue their fortnight’s dig at this most exciting and important of all excavations. And this year we will again be contributing to the Mendip Rocks Festival, cancelled for the last two years.

This year it will form an integral part of the Mendip Hills AONB’s 50th anniversary of its founding, in which The Mendip Society played an important role. One could say “this year it’s all happening” – and everyone is invited to take part.

But first we have our AGM coming up – last year it was held by post through our newsletter “Mendip”, but this year we are getting together again at a live meeting in St. James’s Church Hall, Winscombe on Thursday, April 21st, 2.30pm.

After the business part we are delighted to welcome Dr. Andy King, Principal Geologist with Geckoella Ltd, who will show and tell us about a selection of the locally sourced building stones (approximately 240 to 170 million years old) that contribute so much to the special character and built heritage of the Mendip Hills.

Several of these building stones, and their form of architectural use, are unique to the Mendip area. Nonmembers are welcome to attend as well. For more information ring 01275 874284 or email secretary@themendipsociety.org.uk or visit the website, below.

Another popular event we are planning to hold this summer is the return of the challenging quizzes dreamt up by our president, Les Davies, together with Sue and Peter Gearing. Called a “Something of Everything Quiz” it will be held, to include a light supper, at a Mendip venue to be confirmed later, on Friday, June 17th and will be open to members and nonmembers alike. More details soon, on the contacts as before.

Tina Bath and Judith Tranter

Tina Bath receiving her award from Clive Bethell Hedging group