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MENDIP TIMES
The forgotten manifesto
POLITICAL history is littered with the forgotten manifestoes of failed candidates. Rummaging through my memory box to prepare for the Edinburgh Fringe, I came across my manifesto for the 2019 general election (you know, the one where I said I’d stand against Jacob Rees Mogg, was sacked By Dr PHIL HAMMOND by the BBC and then couldn’t persuade the opposition to unite around a single candidate so I gave up and lost my job for no reason.) Anyway, the North East Somerset constituency may well be chopped up and farmed out elsewhere in the next election and I’m hoping the opposition will have learned how to collaborate without my help. However, they are welcome to my manifesto, which wouldn’t have prevented the pandemic but we might have coped better with it…
DR PHIL’S MANIFESTO
HEALTH AND WELLBEING FOR ALL MUST BE OUR PARAMOUNT POLITICAL CONSIDERATION 1. We must try to live under an umbrella of Intelligent Kindness. For all our proposed actions think a. Is it intelligent? b. Is it kind? 2. Tax Pride. We should be proud to pay for a decent society. Use Wealth Tax for individuals and corporations to fund Education, Sure Start and Social Care (the bookends of life). 3. Use the Cancer Drugs Fund to fund decent End of Life Care for all. 4. The best we can hope for is a decent life and a decent death. #BeWellDoWellDieWell 5. Our Health is Our Fitness for Purpose/Bounce-Back Ability/Collective Compassion.
6. We must try to replenish our Seed and our Soil. Health is determined by environment, social conditions and relationships far more than drugs and doctors. Rekindle our communities. Think Planet. How can we fairly sustain eight billion large primates with appetites and egos to feed, and effluents to dispose of?
Be Well – #CLANGERS4ALL Each day I will try to . . . CONNECT – like myself and reach out to others LEARN – keep my curiosity and interests alive be ACTIVE – do activities I enjoy that move my mind and body NOTICE – be still and relish the beauty around me GIVE BACK – widen my circle of compassion to those most in need EAT WELL – grow, prepare and enjoy food that is both nutritious and delicious RELAX – wind down and relive the high points of each day SLEEP – get around eight hours sleep each night … and not feel guilty if I don’t succeed. Do Well – Does your soil support #CLANGERS4ALL? The central ethical dilemma in life is the responsible and compassionate use of power.
I Will Try To... Use my power kindly and responsibly, and stand up to those who don’t: Proudly pay for public services and protect my planet Help those less fortunate with their daily CLANGERS Rekindle my home, community and workplace, and make them CLANGERS-friendly Think critically and demand evidence Work in a spirit of constructive collaboration Pleasure myself in a safe and sustainable way Choose kindness over cruelty Not beat myself up when I err or fail, but own it and learn from it Die Well – No-one Gets Out of Here Alive Shit happens, but we can adjust the level. A decent death is a great success. I will listen to people when they’re dying (they tell the best stories) I will talk about how much medical intervention I want near to death and I will talk about where I want to die I reserve the right to change my mind I reserve the right to have the really good end of life drugs I will hold anyone’s hand when they’re dying
Dr Phil is doing two shows at the Edinburgh Fringe – August 13th and 27th and bringing them to Ubley on October 22nd (tickets via Valley Arts). PAGE 62 • MENDIP TIMES • AUGUST 2022
