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DOLLY PARTON TO TOUR Page 14
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OPEN LETTER TO DERRYN HINCH
COUNTRY MUSIC COLUMN Page 47
Dear Derryn, First, as expressed personally, we wish you well with your health battles. However, this Open Letter is about your legal fights - and how they involve allVictorians. Magistrate Charles Rozencwajg found you guilty of four charges of naming offenders while they were subject to extended supervision orders. Your case has now gone beyond the subject of offenders who break the law. The story is now aboutYOU breaking the law, whatever the circumstances.Your health has little to do with sentencing. Curiously, youTwittered a message on Monday:“Why I think I won in court last Friday”.You didn’t‘win’.No-one ‘won’. You attempted to fight the case, pleading not guilty.You have fought the case at Magistrates’ Court, Supreme Court and High Court.You have failed each time. You have previously served jail time after breaking the law.Your fight to expose offenders may be admirable, but YOUR deliberate law-breaking is not. ● Turn To Page 11
BEST ACTOR AWARD Page 7
HARRY BEITZEL ON FOOTY Page 54
NUMEROLOGY Melbourne
Observer ISSN 1447 4611
■ Brian Hannan and Terry Gill were two of the special guests at the reunion of the Channel 9 Singers, and Unisounds, who featured in Graham Kennedy’s In Melbourne Tonight in the 1960s and 70s. Inset (from left): Lynne Gough, Jim Burnett, Gail Esler, Rodney Vincent, Judy Difiney, Terry Gill, Carole-Ann Gill and Kevin Kidney.
BASIC WORSKHOP July 3 ADVANCED WORSKHOP September 10-11 BOOKINGS, PH 5367 1991 O u r S e a h o r s e Wellbeing Centre Shop 3 2/4 Graham St Bacchus Marsh 3340 www.ourseahorse.com.au
LIONS, ROTARY LINK TO TELEMARKETERS: PAGE 5
Page 2 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011
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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011 - Page 3
Page 4 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011
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Index to Advertisers
EDITOR’S CHOICE
Melbourne Observer Editor Ash Long offers his selections to best businesses around town. These people enjoy reputations for top service. CAKES, BAKERY
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FUNERALS
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RADIO STATIONS
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Advertising Sales Manager
Inside
Travel
Monthly
A vacancy exists for an advertising professional to take the role of Advertising Sales Manager for Travel Monthly. Since 2002, Travel Monthly has built a successful reputation for marketing for travel businesses in Australia and New Zealand, the South Pacific and beyond. Travel Monthly is distributed widely across the Australian eastern seaboard. It has up to 100,000 readers each month in print and online. The Advertising Sales Manager’s role includes organising
the advertising requirements of travel businesses. There are more than 17,000 accommodation businesses alone in Australia - so the scope for growth is immense. As with any professional sales position, there is no ceiling to the amount you can earn. We would envisage that this could be a work-fromhome position, full-time, or seriously part-time. More details are available from our office, phone 1-800 231 311.
Send your CV to Ash Long editor@travelmonthly.com.au PO Box 1278, Research, Vic 3095
● Comedian Brendan Grace, with Keith Mc Gowan and Finbar Furey. More radio news on Page 48.
● People of all ages can order their Melbourne Observer from their local newsagent. Or take out a mail subscription. A coupon is on Page 18.
Next Week: Travel Colour Liftout
Adrienne’s Yoga ................................. P27 Alexander Beachfront Apartments .... P38 Animal Training Sustems ................... P22 Bay of Palms Resort ......................... P36 Bond Carpet Cleaning ....................... P19 Carrum Downs Dental Care ............... P24 Central Storage Systems .................. P44 Delightful Occasions ......................... P59 Direct Bin Hire ................................... P20 Evolution Caravans ............................ P32 Free Rein Australia .............................P33 Graham and Jenny Moon .................... P57 Hopewood Retreat For Health ............. P3 Isle Of Palms Resort ......................... P39 Le Burlesque Dance House ............... P22 Lifetime Distributors ......................... P58 Little Tresaures ................................. P33 Loyalty Beach .................................... P34 Mandolin Holiday Resort Apartments ........................................ P40 Medical Administration Training ....... P29 Metro Hospitality Group .................... P41 Montana Palms Holiday Apartments ........................... P37 Mosaic Landscapes .......................... P21 Native American (Red Horse) .............. P2 Natural Healing Centre ...................... P23 Oakleigh Greek Orthodox College ...... P31 Oncology Massage Care .................... P26 Train World ........................................ P60 Waters Edge Resort .......................... P42 Whittlesea Medical Clinic ................. P28 Willpower ........................................... P25
Inside This Week Business-To-Business: P44 Caravans: P32 Harness Racing: P57 Healthy Living: P23-29 Melbourne Homemaker P19-21 Melbourne Trader Liftout starts P17 Showbiz Special - P30 Travel/Touring - P33-42 Victorian Rural News - P22
www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne
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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011 - Page 5
Breaking News
It’s All About You!
Melbourne
LIONS, ROTARY LINKED TO Observer COMMERCIAL TELEMARKETERS In This 60-Page Edition
Death Of A Salesman
● Joe Dias (left), Barry O'Neill, Christine Andrew and Zoran Babic in Death Of A Salesman, being presented until June 18 at the Athenaeum Theatre, Lilydale. Photo: Kevin Trask ■ The Lilydale Athenaeum Theatre Com- America. Through the main character, Willy pany presents Arthur Miller's Death Of A Loman, the play examines the myth of the Salesman until June 18 at the Athenaeum American Dream and the shallow promise of Theatre, 39-41 Castella St., Lilydale. happiness through material wealth. Tickets: Directed by Kevin Trask, this cornerstone $25/$20. Bookings: 9735 1777 or email of contemporary American drama portrays the a.t.c@bigpond.net.au universal hopes and fears of middle-class - Cheryl Threadgold
From Our Court Roundsman ■ Commercial fundraiser Anthony Ray Stevens - also known as Anton Stevens - has again been denied permission to operate in Victoria. Stevens lost his case against ConsumerAffairs Victoria, heard by the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal. Stevens needed permission to operate under the Fundraising Act, but was first refused approval late last year. CAV inspector Christopher Hurrey gave evidence that there was concern that Stevens had been engaged in fundraising activities without being registered. Telephone marketing scripts submitted to Consumer Affairs had not been acceptable, VCAT was told. CAV staff member Ms Bee Wah Ang said Stevens first made his application in the name of the Lions Club of Melbourne Wholesale Produce Market Inc, failing to specify the Club as the beneficiary and provide its letter of consent. Witness statements from a range of people - Trainor, Hanson, Kennett, Russell and Sanders - said they had been approached from people saying they were collecting donations on behalf of Lions, the Lions Club of Melbourne Markets Inc., or the Rotary Club of Preston. Callers did not normally say that the y were commercial telemarketers, or how the donation was to be distributed. ● How schemes work - Page 9
News: Best Actor Award For Reg ........... Page 7 Di Rolle: When Harry Met Dalai ............. Page 8 Melb. Confidential: 25 cents in dollar .... Page 9 Long Shots: Time to go, Simon ............ Page 10 Max: Melb. doctor faces tribunal ......... Page 11 Yvonne Lawrence: Life and Style .......... Page 12 Kevin Trask: Robert Young profile ......... Page 14 Showbiz: Leo Sayer’s 40 years ............ Page 47 Radio: Ward calls it a day .................. Page 48 Observer Classic Books: Charles Dickens Melbourne Trader: 28-Page Liftout Non-Pro Theatre TV, Radio, Theatre Movies, DVDs Mega Crossword
Observer Showbiz
Melb. Jazz Festival ■ The Melbourne International Jazz Festival continues until Monday (June 13), now including the Queen’s Birthday Weekend. More than 400 performers will participate in 46 free events, 20 Australian premieres and 16 Festival exclusives.
Sex offender report ■ Ballarat Police officers left a teenage school girl in the care of a convicted sex offender, reportsthe Ballarat Courier. Police collected the girl from her guardian’s home to take her to a relative’s home and subsequently left her in the care of John William Macfie, a serial sex offender who was jailed for 15 years on Thursday.
Expilicit goods ban ■ Portland retailer Sandy Gore is unable to sell some of her most popular novelty items without council permission. Mighty Cheap was approached by a Shire officer about the range of hens’ and bucks’ night products.
By Our Court Roundsman ■ Mike Spilkin’s $6929.51 cheque for outstanding rent for a Brighton East rental property was dishonoured, the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal has been told. Spilkin took the matter to VCAT, arguing that the agent for landlord John Rosenberg had behaved unconscionably in obtaining a warrant of possession before an agreed date. VCAT member H. Barker rejected the claim. Prior to this, Spilkin had made various appeals to Supreme Court Judge Felicity Hampel, the Court of Appeal, and the High Court. VCAT was told that, as at May, Spilkin had paid only $2500 in rent for the Stone St property, and the rent now owing exceeded $16,000. Rent was alleged to be two months in arrears when Rosenberg applied for an order for possession in December Various arrangements had been reached for Spilkin to pay $4500 arrears instalments, plus $2708 monthly rental payments. The $4500 was not paid as per an agreement. “The protocol between the Police, the registrar and a landlord when a warrant is issued is that the warrant is sent to the Police who negotiate with the landlord about the actual date of the eviction,” the VCAT judgement said. “Accordingly, the purchase of a warrant of possession is in itself, not an assurance that a tenant will be evicted. The landlord may withdraw the warrant at any time upto the time of its execution by advice to the Police not to evict the tenant and the Police will then return the unexecuted warrant to VCAT.”
Flashes Around Victoria
Ponies shot dead ■ A family has been left heartbroken after their two beloved Shetland ponies were found shot through the head, at Axe Creek, near Bendigo.
Police raid bikies HQ ■ An Albury man, 46, has been charged with rape after raids at the headquarters of the Black Uhlans motorcyle group.
Sting hits taxis, limos ■ One in 10 Melbourne taxi and limo drivers have overstayed visa conditions, a Government report states.
WIN! ‘DARK MOON’ CD
DUD CHEQUE GIVEN FOR OVERDUE RENT Observations
Latest News
Dark Moon can be ordered for $23 postage paid from Rob Foenander, PO Box 1208, Huntingdale, Vic 3166. Phone: 9543 2570. Mobile: 0418 304 625. Direct Deposit: 013-326. Account: 351004345. E-Mail: robfomusic@ optusnet.com.au
Rob Foenander, the Observer’s new country music columnist, has released a new country music CD, Dark Moon. We have SIX copies of the CD to give away in a great Melbourne Observer reader competition. Tracks include I’m Gonna Change Everything, Room Full Of Roses, The Girl From Yesterday, Dark Moon, A Little Bitty Tear and Eighteen Yellow Roses. Simply send an envelope to Dark Moon Competition to reach us by first mail on Monday, June 20. Include the entry coupon below. Winners names will be announced in the June 22 edition of the Melbourne Observer. Our usual Observer reader competition rules apply.
Melbourne
Observer READER COMPETITION Send to Dark Moon Competition, Melbourne Observer PO Box 1278, Research Vic 3095 - to reach us by first mail Monday, June 20, 2011. Winners’ names will be published in the June 22 edition. Prizes will be posted.
Name: ........................................................................................................ Address: ..................................................................................................... ................................................... Postcode: ...............................................
Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011
To Sunshine Coast for work
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People Melbourne
Send news to editor@melbourneobserver.com.au
● Artie Stevens ■ Melbourne radio man Artie Stevens is moving his workplace to Queensland’s Sunshine Coast, all for the sake of business! You have to hand it to the AIR Radio News owner who is selflessly relocating his Syndalbased operation in August for three weeks, to promote his firm to clent stations on the Gold Coast, Sunshine Coast, Brisbane and Central Queensland. AIR broadcasts news services to community and independent radio stations around Australia. We hope he gets a little time to enjoy the warm weather while his Melbourne friends continue to endure the coldest winter in decades.
For brekky ■ Carrie Bickmore and Charlie Pickering will host the Nova 100 breakfast program for two weeks from Tuesday (June 14). The pair will be heard nationally for the fortnight while Dave Hughes and Kate Langbroek take their mid-year leave.
Fax: 1-800 231 312
92nd birthday party for Joy
● Joy Wood of Ivanhoe celebrated her 92nd birthday with family and friends this week at Grace Garden, Heidelberg Heights. Joy is pictured with her sister, Marjory Long, also of Ivanhoe. The girls are daughters of the late Albert and Honora Lawrence, of Clarendon St, Thornbury, operators of ‘Lawrence Leathers’.
On the mend ■ Best wishes to Ivanhoe subscriber Margaret Heathorn, of Wesley Court, who is on the mend after a nasty fall.
Fireworks at Woodend
■ A lively and free night out comes to Woodend again this year courtesy of opening night – Friday (June 10) - for the Woodend Winter Arts Festival (June 10-13). In what has become an annual tradition, Woodend and Macedon Ranges locals – and few visitors for the Festival weekend - will gather for the first burst of Festival activity. The fetsivities are held at Buffalo Stadium Oval at 6.30pm sharp on Friday. The fireworks will go ahead regardless of the weather.
Ward rides into the distance
Youngest paper boy
● Ward Everaardt, of Magic 1278, is hanging up the headphones at the end of next month, after 40 years in the radio business. Our full story is on Page 54. Photo courtesy: Ben Wise, www.magic1278.com.au
Teacher’s registration cancelled
● We start them young here at the Melbourne Observer. Nine-month-old Jack Bryant, grandson of Observer Editor Ash Long, is pictured catching up with a recent edition.
■ The Victorian Institute of Teaching has cancelled the registration of Mathew John Wawra, who early this year was found guilty of the sexual offences of one count of wilful and obscene exposure in public, and one count of ‘convicted sex offender loiter school’. Wawra has been disqualified from teaching and his registration as a teacher in Victoria was cancelled.
Adam exhibits
Susan Halliday, Chair of the Disciplinary Hearings Committee of the VIT, said that Bhupinder Singh, 29, was found guilty of serious misconduct and not fit to teach. Singh’s registration to teach has been cancelled. The VIT is given the responsibility udner the Education and Training Reform Act to cancel registrations when teachers are found incompetent.
● Adam Nudelman ■ West Prestyon artist Adam Nudelman has opened his latest exhiubition at the James Makin Gallery, 67 Cambridge St, Collingwood. Gallery manager Marguerite Brown says the 2011 John Glover Prize finalist’s body of work “builds upon his ongoing concerns in representing the natural world, while making subtle symbolic reference to our human interaction with it”. Nudelman is known for his serene landscapes “featuring rigid metal structures that seem incongruous with their organic surroundings”. Nudelman is featured in the major current exhibition, Identity: yours, mine, ours at the Immigration Museum in Melbourne. This series of works responds to often familiar architectural structures, which ranges from Frank Lloyd Wright’s buildings, Melbourne’s Princess Pier where the majority of Melbourne’s migrant population was first processed upon landing on Australian shores, to the working class cottages of suburban Melbourne. Meditative paintings contain sensitive and beautifully rendered depictions of the marshy coastline surrounding Port Albert, a quiet beachside town east of Wilson’s Promontory in Victoria, along with the more dramatic landscape of the central Tasmanian highands. Nudelman graduated from the Victorian College of the Arts in 1995 with a Bachelor of Fine Arts (Painting). He has had regular exhibitions in Melbourne since 1999 and is held in private and public collections including National Museum, Canberra; Australian Jewish Museum, Melbourne; United Energy, Melbourne and City of Darebin, Melbourne amongst others. The exhibition, which opened on Thursday, continues until June 25.
Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011 - Page 7
www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne
Observer
Breaking News
BEST ACTOR AWARD FOR REG Briefs
Guitarist at Drouin
Closing ■ The last nine Borders book stors in Australia will be closed by the end of July.
Dropped ■ Obstructing police and public nuisance charges against performer Tania Zaetta have been dropped by Police.
● Tania Zaetta Melbourne
Observer
News From Around Victoria
$50,000 fine by EPA ■ Conneq Infrastructure Services (Australia) Pty Ltd, formerly known as Bilfinger Berger Services (Australia) Pty Ltd, has had to place a half-page ad in a local newspaper, after receiving a $50,000 fine for a 36,000-litre sewage spill at Jumping Creek.
Jail ticket for patron ■ Noble Park man Rith Thun, 30, has been sentenced to a minimum six months’ jail after bashing a Southland cinema attendant. Cambodian-born Thun will appeal the County Court on June 29.
Fined ■ Chelsea Heights plumber Michael Pnton has been fined $25,000 for failing to provide a safe workplace.
Statewide
● Reg Gorman ■ Reg Gorman has won Best Actor award for a short film at the prestigious St Kilda Film Festival Awards, held at the Palais Theatre in St Kilda. The awards were hosted by Shane Jacobson. Reg Gorman is best remembered as ‘Jack the barman’ in the Australian soap opera The Sullivans. Reg won the Best Actor award for his role in the 14minute film, Punch Drunk. He played a punch drunk fighter suffering with dementia. The aged care centre returns the fighter to his family home to be cared for by his wife. He slips out alone to buy some milk and is taunted by a bunch of thugs. The fighter slips into his old skills and flattens the lot of them. He returns home with the milk not remembering anything about it. I have seen this film and Reg is brilliant. Punch Drunk, directed by Sam Wark, was up against 100 short films with some of Australia's leading actors playing roles. Others in the cast of Punch Drunk included Brenda Palmer, Ben Prendergast, Troy Cartwright and Brendon Bacon. The film has been shown at the International Film Festival in Palm Beach, Florida. In his acceptance speech Reg said "I've spent 65 years playing character roles in films and I finally win Best Actor - it took a long time!" The audience laughed and cheered. Congratulations Reg Gorman. - Kevin Trask
Your Stars
Debt collectors hunt ■ Dent collectors Prushka have been employed by 51 childcare centres in Victoria to chase 180 client families who have fees that are unpaid. ● Jed Rowe will perform at the Drouin Bowling Club on June 9 from 7pm. ■ The Drouin Bowling Club presents Jed Rowe with Todd Cook and James Dobson tomorrow (Thurs.). Doors open at 7pm. Singer-songwriter and guitarist Jed Rowe's sound is inspired by the best of blues, rock, folk and world music. Rowe's insightful storytelling songs and easy stage presence, combined with his sublime acoustic, electric and lap slide guitar work, have won the songwriter and his group The Jed Rowe Band much praise in recent times. The band cut their teeth at some of Melbourne's best loved venues including the Northcote Social Club, The Espy and the East Brunswick Club and were supported by the likes of Ash Grunwald, Clare Bowditch and Dallas Frasca.
with Christina La Cross
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20) You're telling too many people too many details about your finances and it could well end up having a negative effect on your career. New ways to sort out old debts come via e-mail. Taurus (Apr 21 - May 21) Prepare for some major changes, the beginnings of which are apparent right now. Family are lucky for you this week and links to new and lucky introductions for your social circle. About time too! Gemini (May 22 - June 21) You are being too open and again allowing others to take advantage of you. A dream you have had for some time becomes a possibility. You can achieve all you desire plus more. Cancer (June 22 - July 23) A family member is trying to push their problems onto you. A firm foot down is the only way. You are worrying too much about what other people think and it's time to stake your claim on the future you crave. Leo (July 24 - Aug 23) Today is a day when you should spoil yourself and do what you want when you want with whom you want (within reason). A friend confides a secret, which you will not be able to keep to yourself. Virgo (Aug 24 - Sept 23) You've been a student on life recently haven't you? You have learnt so very much but Venus has a lesson in love to teach you today as you learn that you have emotions which run deeper than you've ever experienced. Libra (Sept 24 - Oct 23) Business ventures succeed, as you should soon discover for yourself, my friend. A face from your past is lucky for you and links to a time you need to remember in order to make present decisions. Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 22) It's time you started to do a few more things for yourself in life. You have spent most of this year pandering to the needs of a close one whom is more able than you think. Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You may have thought that friends were talking about your exploits but they are probably discussing something and someone else. To say that you have been getting a little paranoid of late would be an understatement. Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20) You must not be jealous of the good luck that the people around you have. You see Capricorn you are currently in a really successful period when everything you touch can turn to gold. Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Your so-called friends aggravate you. You begin seeing people for what they are rather than what you hoped they were. This is a wake up call and means life is about to get interesting. Pisces (Feb 20 - March 20) Plans for a celebration are in the air. Don't get dragged into the organising as you have enough to do. Delegate and you will soon discover you have more friends than you realised. Gemini's flirtations are more serious than you think.
MP drops lawsuit ■ “Federal Labor MP Craig Thomson has dropped a defamation case against Fairfax over articles detailing alleged fraudulent use of his union credit card, including paying for prostitutes,” reports The Age. The newspaper says it still stands by the claims it made.
● Craig Thomson
Observer Special Reader Offer
Book Offer: ‘Long Shots’
$20 including postage and handling Ash Long is a veteran of the Australian media industry. He has worked in newspapers, radio, television and ‘new media’. Back in 2001, facing hard business times, he penned Long Shots. It’s a 304-page book with 63 chapters, 183 photographs and a cast of 1851 people. Times have changed - Ash has now been EditorPublisher of the Melbourne Observer for nearly 10 years. But back then, he was facing one of the toughest business challenges of his life. Grab a glimpse of a Melbourne man with a 40-year media pedigree. We have found two boxes of the Long Shots, and we are offering the book at a discounted price of $20, postage paid, to Observer readers. To: Local Media Pty Ltd c/- PO Box 1278, Research 3095
Simply send the form below. All orders will be despatched promptly after cheque/money order clearance. Please PRINT CLEARLY your name/address/phone number, and mail with cheque or money order to Local Media Pty Ltd
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Yes! Please send me a copy of Ash Long’s book, Long Shots. I enclose my Cheque/Money Order for $20. Name: ..................................................................................... Address: ................................................................................ ...................................... Phone: ............................................
Page 8 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Penny, the cat’s meow ■ Penny Wong set the precedent for my column this week. I think she is great. I remember once a man said to me: ‘I think you are the cats meow’. It was in New York in the middle of Times Square. I will never forget it. So whilst I think “meow”, as it was put to Penny Wong in Parliament is a sexist remark - and her stare, what about that stare, was totally justified - I think Penny Wong is the cats meow! I was told by my New York admirer at the time that it was a great compliment!
The Life Of Eva Cassidy ■ Having long enjoyed the music of American vocalist Eva Cassidy, I was most interested during the week to hear the creators of the smash-hit stage show The Man in Black, have announced their brand new production Eva – Tales from The Life of Eva Cassidy. ARIA Award-winning singer songwriter Clare Bowditch will star on stage, in this stunning new production which opens at The Athenaeum Theatre on Tuesday, August 9 for a limited two-week season. Tickets are on sale now from Ticketmaster. Eva – Tales from The Life of Eva Cassidy also features gifted Australian musician and songwriter Ashley Naylor and the incredible Blues Alley Band. The show will provide an intimate portrayal of Eva Cassidy’s life and loves, interwoven with 18 of her breathtaking songs that made her one of the most loved singers of her generation. Hailed as The Songbird, her music topped the charts on three continents after her tragic death of melanoma at the age of 33. Clare Bowditch, one of Australia’s great musical talents, co-wrote the show and is deeply affected by the music and life of Eva Cassidy. “I remember the first time I heard Eva sing, and the thing that affected me most was the purity of her voice. I was deeply affected by it, which shocked me, mainly because she was singing a cover-version of a song that I didn't even realise I liked! “It made me curious about her life. When I found out that she died at the age of 33, the mystery of how her songs became to be so popular, and how we heard about her at all, began to intrigue me,” says Bowditch. Bowditch tells the story as only a fellow artist could – with passion and innate knowledge. “The Eva Cassidy story is not only the tale of Eva Cassidy, but also a broader discussion-piece about the very nature of fame. Could it be that our obsession with ‘modern day celebrities’ is really just a guise for the larger search for meaning? “Many of us yearn to be ‘special’. What Eva's story shows us is that ‘special’ is often found hiding in the most ‘normal’ of human beings. That’s what we hope to remind people of with this show,” says Bowditch. Eva Cassidy was born in 1963 and died 33 years later in 1996. She left a legacy of extraordinary arrangements of ballads, sung with her hauntingly beautiful voice, described in the Washington Post as “…so pure, so strong and so passionate it should have found a home just about anywhere.” When Terry Wogan played Somewhere Over The Rainbow on BBC Radio 2, four years after her death, Eva Cassidy’s records shot to the top of the charts and they are still selling to this day. Barely recognised on the international scene when she was alive, Eva is celebrated today as one of the world’s most soul-stirring singers. Co-Producer Simon Myers is excited to present the story of Eva Cassidy - one of the most lauded musicians of her generation. Amy Redford, Robert Redford’s daughter has been producing a film about her life, and Cassidy’s parents suggested Kirsten Dunst or Emily Watson as possible actresses to portray their daughter. “Eva is a truly unique musician. She lived for the love of song, yet was never alive to experience the high acclaim and international fame that came after her death. Because of this there are so few images of her, and it is the power of her music that makes us remember her most,” says Myers. Turn To Page 55
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To
Di
I love my job!
Di Rolle is heard most Mondays with Keith McGowan on 3AW, just after the 1am news.
For WHEN HARRY MET DALAI
■ There is a lot happening in Melbourne at the moment, and I seem to be in the thick of it. His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, arrives in Melbourne tomorrow (Thurs.) and will hold a media conference at the Hilton Hotel at South Wharf in the afternoon. Collingwood footballer, defender and the thinking man of AFL football, Harry O’Brien, is an ambassador of His Holiness’s visit and will meet with the Dalai Lama. At the end of the media conference, Harry will present His Holiness with a Collingwood football jumper and a football ... and who knows may even be able to give His Holiness some football kicking tips! Harry, a long time devotee of His Holiness, is thrilled at the opportunity to meet with the 14th Dalai Lama. A few tickets are still available to attend the Melbourne Press Club luncheon with His Holiness the Dalai Lama on Friday (June 10) at the Melbourne Convention Centre, 12 noon to 2.30pm. The Dalai Lama will reflect on The Story of The Refugee at the luncheon. His Holiness, a refugee himself will share his own personal journey. Tickets available from www.chris hooper.com.au or www.pressclubonline. com
● Harry O’Brien will be eating porridge cabaret show Batt On each morning at their A Hot Tin Roof for a very early morning limited season at The breakfasts supplied by Palms At Crown in Melbourne on June Flip Shelton. His Holiness loves 25. Batt’s one-man porridge for breakfast particularly on these show Batt On A Hot cold mornings and Tin Roof has already Flip’s new Heartland received rave reviews Harvest 100% Aus- at Le Chat Noir in New tralian Porridge Orleans as well as the Blend was a welcome Metropolitan Room gift to His Holiness and and New York’s famous Feinstein’s. his travelling party. Accompanied by So when I eat my top New York musical Flip Shelton porridge director in the mornings, I Lavine, BattMichael On A Hot know I am in good company!
with leading Melbourne publicist DI ROLLE
Tin Roof is a comic and moving musical journey that leads the audience through Batt’s eventful Louisiana childhood- dominated by his strongwilled 'Southern Belle' mother - and on to his leading roles in Broadway musicals, and eventual starring role in the smash hit HBO TV series Mad Men. Trust me this will be worth going to see! A host of charming and witty songs - from classic Cole Porter, to modern comedic numbers - are exquisitely interwoven with a series of hilarious and poignant monologues. You’re guaranteed to fall in love with the very ‘theatrical’ boy from down yonder in New Orleans who dreamed of a life on Broadway and in Hollywood. Throughout the show, the adult Bryan’s love for the 'Big Easy' and all that the city represents is clear to see. Batt shot to fame after his role as Salvatore Romano in the Grammy and Emmy award winning
Batt man
■ The television series Mad Men has long been a favourite of mine, so therefore I was thrilled to hear one of the stars, the brilliant Bryan Batt is bringing his cabaret show to Melbourne to the Palms At Crown. I was addicted to Mad Men and have all the series on DVD. This is something I will definitely be going to, The Palms at ■ A nice footnote to Crown is a great add to this story about venue, Bryan Batt is The Dalai Lama is coming down under to that he and his monks perform his acclaimed
Flipped out
● Clare Bowditch
television series Mad Men but has called Broadway home for many years with leading roles in productions including Beauty and the Beast, Sunset Boulevard, Saturday Night Fever, La Cage Aux Folles, Cats, Starlight Express to name a few.
Creative ■ In addition to being a cherished actor and performer, Batt is also an author and designer. Batt’s memoir – She Ain’t Heavy, She’s My Mother was released in 2010. I read this book and it’s priceless! Bryan and his partner of 20 years, Tom Cianfichi, are the nationally recognised creative forces behind Hazelnut, a fine gift and home accessories shop in his home town of New Orleans. Hazelnut has been featured in the New York Times, House Beautiful, In Style, Traditional Home, Southern Accents and more. Bryan is also proudly a passionate civil activist. Batt On A Hot Tin Roof is proudly brought to Australia by Luckiest Productions, David and Lisa Campbell’s production company. David and Lisa are also Artistic Directors of the Adelaide Cabaret Festival. Clever David Campbell! The Palms At Crown - Saturday June 25 at 8pm Tickets range between $40-$60. Contact Ticketek on 1300 795 012 or visit www.ticketek. com.au
30 Rock ■ TV1 is going to add to my television addiction as they are set to play non-stop 30 Rock in the upcoming 30 Rock Around The Clock Marathon over the Queen’s Birthday Long Weekend. I am so looking forward to watching all 19 episodes of Season 1 on Saturday(June 11). from 9am-4pm. Season 2, which comprises 20 episodes is scheduled to play on Sunday (June 12) from 9am through to 4pm, and finally on Monday (June 13)you can watch all 19 episodes of Season 3 starting at 9am and finishing at 4pm. What a marathon that will be! Great to hear too that the wonderful Tina Fay star of 30 Rock is expecting another baby!
Passion ■ I love people with passion. Being a passionate person myself, (I am known is some circles as the Passionate Publicist) – I love Eddie McGuire’s passion for his team and when he sees injustice. I say more people should be passionate, it’s a wonderful gift. My wish for everyone this week is to embrace something passionately whether it be your mate, your pet, the words of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, your footy team, your Mum and Dad, your brothers and sisters and your friends, but do it with passion. I will be!
Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011 - Page 9
www.MelbourneObserver.com.au
Confidential Melbourne
Talk is cheap, gossip is priceless
ROTARY ALLOWED 75% TO BE KEPT BY FUNDRAISERS
Bitch Melbourne’s Secrets
Show them the way ...
● Finbar Furey and Brendan Grace ■ 3AW midnight-dawn man Keith McGowan had a fair challenge on his hands on Monday morning this week when Irish entertainers Finbar Furey and Bren-dan Grace appeared live in the studio for a rambling interview. McGowan, a non-drinker, countered the pair, who seem to be well refreshed. Brendan even regaled with a rendition of Show Me The Way To Go Home.
Convictions set aside ■ Two men in their 20s, Shawn Edward Walker, and Oscar Kormez, have had convictions set aside by the Court of Appeal. Walker and Kormez had pleaded guilty to charges of indecent act and production of child pornography with two 14-year-old girls, but pleaded not guilty to rape, administering a drug for the purposes of sexual pentration, false imprisonment, and threat to inflict serious injury. The Crown case at trial was that the men had met the girls at a service station and arranged to meet them again some days later, buying alcohol, and taking them to a secluded area where they parked. Judges Maxwell, Bongiorno and Harper spoke of the difficulties of the case.
Asleep in Parliament ■ Senior Victorian Liberal politician Louise Asher missed a late-night vote in State Parliament last week, explaining that she had fallen asleep in her office. The Deputy Liberal Leader issued a statement:“"I regret. I apologise. I fell asleep and I have ● Louise Asher taken measures to ensure that it won’t happen again." Deputy Opposition Leader Rob Hulls presented Ms Asher with an alarm clock.
■ The Rotary Club of Preston allowed 75 per cent of donations to be kept by professional fundraisers, the Victorian Civil andAdministrative Tribunal has heard. Rotarian Wayne Lawrence O’Neill said that the Club employed Anthony Stevens who kept 40 per cent of proceeds raised for its annual Circus Quirkus event. A further 35 per cent was paid to another fundraising organisation, International Entertainment (Aust.) Pty Ltd. “The Club retained 25 per cent from which certain expenses were paid to IE,” said VCAT member J. Billings. “The Club was left with less than 25 per cent after expenses were deducted.” Warwick Blackburn, a volunteer for the Lions Club of Melbourne Markets, said of the funds raised for that activity, 40 per cent was paid to Mr Stevens’s organisation, and another 40 per cent was paid to IE. “The remaning 20 per cenrt was retained by the Lions Club for distribution to nominated beneficiaries after the fundraising appeal concluded.” Mr Jan Erik Larsen, a retired man who for years was involved with the Lions Club of Carlton Inc., and the Lions Club of Melbourne Markets Inc., gave evidence to VCAT. He said that ‘Anthony Stevens Promotions’ and International Entertainment solicited funds for an event known as the World Festival of Magic. Stevens kept 40 per cent, and IE retained a further 40 per cent. “The Club deducted certain expenditure from the 20 per cent that it retained as was provided in each year’s fundraising agreement. “This left 12-15 per cent of the proceeds raised,” concluded VCAT member J. Billings.
COMPANIES SCAM REVEALED BY ASIC ■ The Australian Securities and Investments Commission is warning consumers about a company registration scam being conducted via a website www.asicregistrar.com ASIC says it is aware of at least 20 people who were directed to www.asicregistrar.com which promoted itself as being a registered agent of ASIC with the ability to register Australian companies within minutes. For a fee of $450 the website promises the interested people with a range of fictitious documentation including certificates of registration as a company, minutes of meetings, share certificates, a register of members and consents to act as a director. In all instances ASIC company searches show that the requested companies were never actually registered. The origins of the scam were that individuals were initially contacted via email by a person purporting to be a recruitment agent who was making unsolicited job offers for either a role as a remote testing agent of soon to be released products or a luxury accommodation booking agent. Recipients of the job offers were informed that in order to commence employment they would need to register a corporation and obtain an Australian Company Number. To do this they were then directed to www.asicregistrar.com website. www.asicregistrar.com, which has since been taken down, was a replica of a legitimate ASIC agent’s website. A similar scam site www.aucorporator.com also operated but has also been removed. ASIC is presently working with the victims of this scam to have their $450 returned.
&
Short Sharp ■ Dennis M Tracey must pay $9100 to Peter and Martha Stamtopoulos after a Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal hearing. The couple, owners of two Brighton townhouses, won the reimbursement from Mr Tracey, who trades as Pave-A-Way. ■ Vulgar and malicious comments about young people have been the subject Facebook ‘Goss’ pages at Ivanhoe, Berwick, Cranbourne and Dandenong. ■ Did the Yea local newspaper omit to make any reference to the death of Olympic legend Bill Roycroft, 96, born at Flowerdale in 1917?
Whispers
Tax case
■ The Deputy Commissioner of Taxation has asked for a 10.15am appointment at Melbourne Magistrates’ Court this morning (Wed.) to make a Commonwealth Tax claim against Dar yl Leigh Crowley.
School
■ Kelly Gang outlaw Steve Hart may have had a Brunswick connection. An 1878 family photo has created more questions than answers. Local historians want to know about the local connection.
Rumour Mill Hear It Here First
Twitter ‘Schoolgirl’
■ Parents at colleges across Melbourne are asking schools to enable competitors to sell uniforms, so that cheaper prices can be obtained. Many schools are granting exclusive marketing rights to clothing companies, in return for generous commission payments.
Lawsuit ● Kim Duthie ■ Erratic Twitter messages from ‘St Kilda schoolgirl’ Kim Duthie continue to concern her friends. Attention-seeking ‘tweets’ over the past week include: ■ “Just went on a date with Sam Newman, wow that was random!” ■ (To the AFL Players’ Association): “A certain Player Manager and I did not have sex on the dates that you reported on.You made a false accusation.” ■ “Waiting for the heroin to kick in ... Hurry up damnit!”
$750 fine for ‘Tweet’ ■ Racing identity Lee Freedman has been fined $750 for a 110-character ‘tweet’ after one of his horses was scatched.
E-Mail: Editor@MelbourneObserver.com.au
■ St John’s Regional College is making a claim against Richard Hasler at a Registrars’ Hearing due to be held at 11am today (Wed.) at Dandenong Magistrates’ Court.
Tips ■ Tell us your Confidential news. Post items to PO Box 1278, Research, Vic 3095.
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Page 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Melbourne
Observer ‘FAIL’ TO THE CHIEF Melbourne
Observer
Melbourne People
Incorporating the Melbourne Advertiser Victoria’s Independent Newspaper First Published September 14, 1969 Every Wednesday
Long Shots
Contact Us Phone: Fax: Web: E-Mail:
1-800 231 311 1-800 231 312 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Editor@MelbourneObserver.com.au
Head Office Office: Postal: Phone: Fax:
30 Glen Gully Rd, Eltham, Vic 3095 PO Box 1278, Research, Vic. 3095 +61 3 9439 9927 +61 3 9431 6247
Observer Contacts Publisher and Editor Media Director Research Director Features Editor Columnists
Cartoonist Birthday Bulletin Distribution
Ash Long Fleur Long Kristi Bryant Peter Mac Yvonne Lawrence John Pasquarelli Jim Sherlock Cheryl Threadgold David Ellis Len Baker Kevin Trask Aaron Rourke Matt Bissett-Johnson Greg Newman Sam Fiorini, Ph: 9482 1145
Mail Subscriptions You can have your own copy of the Melbourne Observer delivered to your door by Australia Post. We dispatch hundreds of copies of the Melbourne Observer to mail subscribers every Tuesday afternoon. Subscription price for 48 copies is $228.00, pre-paid, to anywhere in Australia. Overseas rates available on application. Organise your mail subscription: BY PHONE: 1-800 231 311 BY FAX: 1-800 231 312 BY E-MAIL: editor@MelbourneObserver.com.au BY POST: PO Box 1278, Research, Vic. 3095
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Business Name Registrations include Melbourne Observer. B2138135X Melbourne Advertiser Newspaper. B2205254M Australian Christian Press. B2080241G Brisbane Sun. B2072542D Diamond Valley Advertiser. B1658237F Fitzgerald’s Fast Debt Recovery. B2072543F Footy Week. B2092530V Melbourne Homemaker. B1853421R Melbourne Seniors News. B2064159D Nightline. B2117047T Rural News. B2068740U State Media Unit. B2092997B Sunday Observer. B1873624G Sydney News. BN98050796 (NSW) The Victorian Newspaper. B2154048V Travel Monthly. B1909934C Victorian Rural News. B2069997U
Independently Owned and Operated The Melbourne Observer is printed by Streamline Press, 155 Johnston St, Fitzroy, for the publisher, Ash Long, for Local Media Pty Ltd, ABN 67 096 680 063, of the registered office, 30 Glen Gully Road, Eltham, Distributed by All Day Distribution. Responsibility for election and referendum comment is accepted by the Editor, Ash Long. Copyright © 2011, Local Media Pty Ltd (ACN 096 680 063).
● Simon Overland ■ Victorians are sick of seeing its Police Force constantly in the headlines for all the wrong reasons. Can you imagine this happening in the days of Chief Commissioners such as Mick Miller, Kel Glare or Neil Comrie? It’s time for Premier Ted Baillieu to move us from these troubled days of Simon Overland’s watch. A 12-month report by talented Jack Rush QC is 12 months too long.
It’s dark out there
■ Melbourne City Council is renowned for spending millions on rebuilding streetscapes. On the past three weekends, Long Shots has been in ‘town’. We have walked along Swanston St, outside the Town Hall. we have walked on Yarra Promenade outside Crown. It is quite dangerous because of abysmal lighting. You can’t even see people’s faces: friends or potential foes! Lord Mayor Cr Robert Doyle should get out of the Mayoral Car, and have a look at how the Council can quickly fix it all.
editor@ melbourneobserver.com.au
with Ash Long, Editor “For the cause that lacks assistance, ‘Gainst the wrongs that need resistance For the future in the distance, And the good that we can do”
Passing of Rob Slater
● Cr Robert Doyle Forget the consultants’ reports. It’s called MBWA: Management By ● Rob Slater Walking Around. ■ “There must be thousands who remember Rob Slater as teacher, colleague and friend,” said John Austin of his Ivanhoe Grammar School colleague who died last month. “Rob will long be remembered for his coaching skills in the five major sporting disciplines and in particular as coach of the outstanding football teams of the late 1950s and early 1960s,” the School said.
Pleasant Sundays
Weight loss progress ● Editor, Ash Long, is pictured this week with one of his Sunday School teachers from the 1960s, Robyn Moon, now of Wandiligong, near Bright. As a young boy, Ash marched off to Oakhill Methodist Church, Reservoir. Another Sunday School teacher of the time, Marilyn Pearce, now of Rosanna, is a weekly subscriber to the Melbourne Observer.
■ Your Editor has lost almost 5kg in the three weeks since having the Virtual Gastric Lap Banding with visiting UK hypnotherapist Sheila Granger. Our condolences to the fish-and-chip shop operators in Melbourne’s northern suburbs.
IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT COURT REPORTS Contents of Court Lists are intended for information purposes only. The lists are extracted from Court Lists, as supplied to the public, by the Magistrates’ Court of Victoria, often one week prior to publication date; for current Court lists, please contact the Court. Further details of cases are available at www.magistratescourt.vic.gov.au The Melbourne Observer shall in no event accept any liability for loss or damage suffered by any person or body due to information provided. The information is provided on the basis that persons accessing it undertake responsibility for assessing the relevance and accuracy of its content. No inference of a party’s guilt or innocence should be made by publication of their name as a defendant. Court schedules may be changed at any time for any reason, including withdrawal of the action by the Plaintiff/Applicant. E&OE.
Forgotten Fortunes ■ Latest ‘Unclaimed Moneys’ details relased by the Australian Securities and Investments Commission shows millions of dollars owing to bank , building society and credit union customers. Financial institutions are keen to locate these Victorian customers who have ‘forgotten fotunes’. Those named (shown with their last known address) should contact their local branch to lodge a claim:
AXAAustralia Cairns, B H. SSB of Vic, Mildura. $248.54. Cann, R E. 62 Maude St, Glenmroy. $346.00. Canning, C A. 238 MacKean St, Fitzroy North. $402.00. Carss, Y L. PO Box 392, Kyneton. $3951.00. Caulfield, Gladstone Barrett. 23 Stamford Cres, Rowville. $6207.60. Cook, B E. Lot 83 Circle Dr, South Cranbourne. $557.00. Corbett, M. 33 Junier St, Morwell. $525.00. Cunnington, Hazel Mary. 11 McIndoe Pde, Parkdale. $800.00. Davis, R J. Inverleigh Rd, Winchelsea. $5245.42. Dawson, Julie Anne. 28 Seaview St, Beaconsfield. $267.00. Dietrich, M R. 9 Symons St, West Preston. $781.00, $781.00. Erdmann, Hartmut. Lockwood Rd, Belgrave Heights. $1095.00. Esmonde, K. 9 Lyons St, Rye. $800.00. Esparon, A. 111 Peel St, Windsor. $341.00. Hawkins, J. 26 Lloyd St, West Heidelberg. $223.00. Hayes, Daphne Rachel. 22 Meakin St, Watsonia. $216.00. Hiam, E R. 29 Chapman Blvd, Glen Waverley. $2128.00. Hocking, P J. 29 Wadeson St, Cobram. $315.00. Howser, J L. 88 Hawthorn Gr, Mildura. $1046.00. Ilott, J P. 40 Mundy St, Mentone. $701.00. Jeffery, Lyle Somers. 70 Pilleau St, Coleraine. $5814.90. Jones, M A. 72 Emma St, Carrum. $269.00. King, M. 15 Harmer St, Reservoir. $433.00. King, W J. 15 Harmer St, Reservoir. $281.00. Lankester, E. 350 Mitcham Rd, Mitcham. $544.00. Lavender, M B. 101 Shafer Rd, Blackburn North. $342.00. Lydford, Marjorie Nellie. 9 Birdwood St, Parkdale. $220.00. McDonald, Ian James. 25 Rose St, Brunswick. $11,643.00. Mills, P A. 13 Centennial St, West Footscray. $357.00.
Observer Treasury Thought For The Week
■ The world needs more warm hearts and fewer hot heads.
Observer Curmudgeon
■ Sign on antique shop: “Come in and buy what your grandmother threw away.”
Text For The Week
■ “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” - Matthew 5:43-44
Free reader ads are available in the Melbourne Trader section of the ‘Melbourne Observer’
Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011 - Page 11
www.MelbourneObserver.com.au
Observer Comment ● From Page One
OPEN LETTER TO DERRYN HINCH
● Derryn Hinch Victoria has a legal system overseen by experienced judges and magistrates. They make decisions, based on years of on-thejob experience and training, with respect to laws passed by elected Parliaments. Judges must feel severely frustrated when their orders are blatantly disobeyed by a publicity-hungry media ‘star’ who delights in the nickname, ‘Human Headline’. Victorians, who may or may not share your hate for offenders of all kinds, are faced with the important decision of whether they wish our legal system to be under the control of our judges, or whether they allow ‘justice’ to be decided upon by a maverick media practitioner, whose daily commercial success is largely defined by the number of listeners he can attract to the radio station that pays him. A head-strong maverick who sometimes gets it badly wrong. Derryn, you say you are not sorry for the way you have conducted yourself in this matter. Lack of remorse may well work against you when Magistrate Rozencwajg conducts the pre-sentence hearing on June 21. Derryn, you continue to taunt judges about their sentencing. Eminent Chief Justice French describes your words as “febrile rhetoric”. As recently as May 30, you editorialised about “crime and lack of punishment”.You have criticised light punishments, and argue against suspended sentences. But now, will you seek a light sentence? Perhaps the option of home detention? In the past, you have criticised the Melbourne Observer as being “tacky” and “tawdry”. That matters not to us.We do not intend to be quiet about the need for media and its people to work within the law. There are more ways to change bad laws than by deliberate civil disobedience. What do the public think about your lawbreaking? Only 250 people attended your ‘Name Them And Shame Them’ rally on the steps of State Parliament. Derryn, your professional colleagues are not solid in their support either. Former 3AW senior reporter Paul Bentley commented this week on Facebook: “Don’t take the law into your own hands. If you don’t like it, find another way. Some people don’t like wearing bike helmets. That doesn’t make it OK not to wear them. “Some people don’t like speed restrictions or drug laws. It doesn’t mean you can break them. Some people don’t value the lives of others. It doesn’t mean you can shoot them.Vigilantism in any form is wrong and can lead to anarchy.” Derryn, your own 3AW court reporter, Phil Johnson, comments of you: “His age and health will save him. Otherwise he’d be behind bars. He’s got form. It’s as blatant as you could get. Inciting others. No remorse.” In the past, Derryn, you have served jail time, and community service time, voicing books for the blind, and laying out brochures for aged homes. Softer than jail. You are now arguing than a jail term could be a death sentence, because it could put you more than 45 minutes from the Austin Hospital for a liver transplant. Lots of law breakers have compelling arguments why they should not be in jail. This is serious. In your own words. “Do the crime, do the time.”
Melbourne
Observer
Latest Gossip
ToThe Max
DOCTOR FACES TRIBUNAL
MAX E-Mails: Editor@MelbourneObserver.com.au
Every Wednesday in the Observer “There are only two types of journalism - dull journalism and exciting journalism. The true journalism is exciting and decidely unobjective. True journalism, in my view, is devoted entirely to the revelation of facts which someone does not want revealed. That is the high point of journalism; it is the real meaning of being a journalist; it is also exciting and is interesting to read.” - Maxwell Newton
■ Camberwell and East Doncaster medico Dr John Warren Piesse has received a caution, after the Medical Board of Australia took matters of conduct to the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal. VCAT heard the Board wanted the general practitioner to not administer intravenous herbal infusion, genome therapies and other therapies brought into the country by patients. Dr Piesse said: “I will (against legal advice) provide the Board within two weeks a statutory declaration stating that I have ceased administering intravenous herbal infusions unregistered withthe TGA. “This undertaking is given reluctantly, knowing that it may not be in the best interests of some of my patients, but neccessitated by my need to minimise stress in order to survive my own prostrate cancer. “I have agonised long and hard concerning this detremination, knowing that: ■ it takes away the right of my patients and patients of other doctors to access treatments of their choice, rightly guaranteed under Federal Law; ■ it contradicts my Hipporactic duty to best serve the needs of my patient as I see fit, and ■ it forces me to place my own survival ahead of theirs. Dr Piesse has previously been ordered to undertake further education to improve his “analytical and appraisal skills in relation to scientific studies and date appraisal”; and to improve “computing skills”. Dr Piesse said he had other pressing matters including his superannuation, and four years of tax returns.
Melbourne
Observer The Max Factor
$185,000 FINES FOR CLAIMS
■ The Federal Court has imposed penalties totalling $185,000 against two companies and two individuals for making false claims and misleading consumers about their ability to test for and treat allergies. The findings conclude proceedings brought by the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission against: ■ Newlife Publishing and Marketing Pty Ltd ■ Renew You Centre for Wellbeing and Longevity Pty Ltd ■ Bojan Schianetz, and ■ Dzung Kieu Price. Each respondent claimed they could diagnose, treat and/or cure allergies using the ‘BioFast allergy elimination program'. This program involves identifying allergens by testing muscle resistance to pressure applied while holding a vial of the suspected allergen. The purported treatment then involves the application of pressure or needles to points on the customer's body, while the customer is exposed to the potential allergen. Other techniques in-
● Allergy claims were false, ACCC finds cluding 'detoxification gic reactions, when they salts' and 'sublingual could not desensitising drops' are ■ that they could cure or also used. eliminate all or virtually The program's propo- all allergies, or allergic nents believe this process reactions, when they could clears 'energy blockages' not caused by the allergen, ■ that they could instruct thereby desensitising the parents and carers of chilcustomer to the allergen. dren to test for, identify, The Court declared by treat and cure or eliminate consent that the compa- allergies for a child, when nies and individuals en- they could not gaged in false, misleading ■ that after receiving and deceptive conduct by treatment it would then be representing that: safe or low risk for a per■ that they could test for, son to have contact with identify and treat a the substance or allergen person's allergies or aller- to which they had previ-
ously suffered adverse reaction, when none of their treatments could achieve this result. “This outcome again demonstrates the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission's commitment to clamp down on unsubstantiated claims which put the health of consumers at risk," ACCC chairman Graeme Samuel said. "The ACCC was particularly concerned that the respondents purported to teach parents how to treat their own children, and told them that following 'treatment' their children could then be safely exposed to an allergen," Mr Samuel said. Each of the respondents is restrained by an undertaking to the court from engaging in similar conduct for a period of three years. The court ordered the respondents to display corrective notices on their websites, in their clinics, in various printed magazines, and in a first for the ACCC, to place a YouTube and other popular videostreaming websites.
Prison
■ Boxer Stephen Sutherland, 20, has had a jail sentence cut from two years to 15 months after punching a woman at a party. The Olympic athlete had not been invited to the Frankston South party, and punched the mother who asked him to leave.
Phone Wayne
● Cr Wayne Phillips ■ A local paper at Heidelberg has published the mobile phone number of Cr Wayne Phillips on its front page, afterhe said ratepayers who disagreed with his vote should phone him. Cr Phillips voted for $21,000 to be spent on a free dinner dance for politicians and corporate big wigs. ■ His phone number is 0408 999 189.
Pokies
■ Collingwood Football Club will be moving 70 poker machines to the planned East Ridge Club at Chirnside Park. The machines are currently at the The International in Lilydale. The plan is yet to be approved.
Page 12 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011
www.MelbourneObserver.com.au
Melbourne
Observer Life & Style
ANIMALS, DOGS, BACK YARD FIRES News Briefs Headliner ■ One of Australia’s greatest musical ports, Icehouse, will headline the Saturday night of the 2011 Deniliquin Ute Muster and Play on the Plains Festival. Icehouse will complete an outstanding line-up of iconic and contemporary Australian music acts on the Festival stage on Saturday October 1. US rock queen Suzi Quatro will headline the concert on Friday, September 30. It will be the first time since 2009 Icehouse has performed a live concert. The Festival’s Saturday night concert will showcase Icehouse, Eskimo Joe, Guy Sebastian, Adam Brand, Troy Cassar-Daley and Luke Dickens. On Friday night, Suzi Quatro, The Sunny Cowgirls, Adam Harvey and Beccy Cole, McAlister Kemp, and Tori Darke will all perform. The Festival, coincides with the AFL Grand Final, and Mental As Anything will perform live on the main stage as half-time entertainment.
Nellie ■ A free concert to celebrate the 150th anniversary of the birth of Dame Nellioe Melba will be held at 2pm on Saturday, June 25 at BMW Edge, Federation Square. A performance based largely on her own writings in Memories and Melodies, Steven McIntyre and scholarship recipients of the Melba Opera Trust share Nellie's story through narration and song. Tickets are free but bookings are essential. To reserve your seats please contact the on 03 9867 4833 or info@melbaopera trust.com.au
■ Being animal lovers Peter and I decided not to watch the ABC’s Four Corners program exposing the shameful and scandalous treatment of cattle exported to Indonesia from Australia for slaughter. Peter had seen a few grabs through the week and knew that it would be upsetting for both of us. We didn’t watch it, but the outraged calls coming through the night from radio listeners suggested to me that perhaps we should have. When Peter went out to do a couple of messages next morning I started to replay the program. I didn’t last long.I was angry, disgusted and saddened at what I saw. To say that watching the most horrific and obscene cruelty I had ever seen was an understatement. I couldn’t watch the entire program and only lasted the first fifteen minutes. By the time Peter came home I was a mess and couldn’t stop the tears.
Yvonne’s Column
Back yard incinerators
Finding a companion pet ■ Perhaps MTR’s Steve Price was playing the devils advocate with his ‘Opinion’ column in the Herald Sun, but nothing anyone can say could excuse the cruel and vile treatment of those animals. But then Price thought we were over reacting when the black swan lost his mate to the cruel actions of a group of teenagers. How could anybody not be saddened by what happened? If for nothing else, thanks to caring animal lovers it had a sweet and happy ending. I hope those responsible for the senseless killing of the white swan will be forced to spend a lot of time thinking about their actions when they front the Magistrate. Animals deserve respect, and contrary to some opinions they do feel emotions. When one of my two elderly whippets was euthanaised, his brother pined for him. Nothing we could do would make him overcome his grief. So we decided to find him a companion.
Oscar loved Kelty on sight ■ One of my radio callers phoned me and said that there was an advertisement in the morning paper for a home wanted for a middle-aged whippet. I rang the gentleman and he invited me to come and see his whippet and to bring Oscar with me so that they could meet. When we arrived the elderly gentleman said that walking his pet was too much for him and he felt guilty if he went away for a holiday and had to leave him. So Oscar was introduced to Kelty. Kelty, though half Oscar’s age, was morbidly obese and looked more like a Labrador, except for his whippet head. But Oscar loved him on sight so really the decision was made. We were invited to stay for lunch and it was a happy afternoon. Finally Kelty’s dad said goodbye, and with he and Oscar curled up on the back seat we set off for home. Oscar took him into the house and showed him around. I noticed that the new arrival kept bumping into things, like walls and doors, but everything was new to him, so it was understandable.
Our dog’s own guide dog ■ I asked Dr David, the vet, to call and check him out, and apart from being shocked at the size of him, he told me he was blind. I phoned his owner and told him that he had settled in, but he couldn’t see. He was amazed because he had never noticed any problem in his home because Kelty knew where everything was including his food bowls that were filled to overflowing 24/7. And when he went for a walk he was on a lead. He said I could bring him back, but I said that he and Oscar were already chums, and Oscar had taken on the role of guide dog. I promised to phone him every week and give him updates. We thought that going for our nightly walk would be a problem, but the dogs worked it out for themselves. When we let them off their leads in the park, they would run like Siamese twins with Oscar’s shoulder pushed into Kelty’s side guiding him.
the torture to those poor animals. Keep up the pressure with protests to open line calls to radio, weekly phone calls and correspondence to your MPs. Write to your newspaper. Just keep up the pressure, hopefully a solution can be found. There doesn’t seem to be much to be jolly about this week. I can’t get that program out of my mind, but I have enjoyed watching Moosh, my cat, galloping like a mad thing through the piles of autumn leaves completely covering the pavers in the back garden. I tried to find a gardener or an odd job man willing to come and sweep up the leaves and take them away, but no-one wants the job.
with Yvonne Lawrence yvonne.lawrence@bigpond.com
Time to say goodbye ■ When Oscar thought that Kelty had had enough he would bring him back to Peter and then he’d take off at a hundred miles an hours and do two laps of the oval. Meantime, Kelty would walk very quietly next to Peter and take directions from little whistling sounds that Peter made. We had him for a few months and one day he had trouble walking and his heart just gave out. Dr David came and he was gently put to sleep. Poor Oscar lost his new companion, but made a truce with Hamish the ‘cat from hell’. Now, tell me that animals don’t have intelligence and emotions. Just to see Kelty nuzzle Oscar as if saying thank you was enough. I was sad having to tell Kelty’s dad that his mate had died, and we both cried on the phone.
Demand action be taken ■ I suggest that those who were sickened by the cruelty to the animals to contact their MPs and demand that action be taken. It is unacceptable. I understand that exporting cattle is a $2 billion business and many Australian workers depend on it for their livelihood, but surely our duty of care does not stop when the animals leave Australia. I can’t understand why we can’t perform the Halal slaughter in Australia and export the processed product. It will take some working out, but at least let’s give it some thought. Don’t let this slide away, hoping that we will forget
Melbourne Observations with Matt Bissett-Johnson
■ It makes you wonder if there is unemployment when not one person wanted the job. I was happy to pay, but no takers. One man said that the job was too small, but he didn’t let me finish, because there is at least a day’s work that he missed. I used to love the smell of a pile of autumn leaves burning in the gutter. It was usually on a Saturday afternoon or a Sunday morning that the spiral of smoke started and it was such a good way for neighbours to chat whilst they were watching the embers. Most probably you will howl me down when I tell you I miss the back yard incinerator. They call it progress, but sometimes I wonder. I also miss the clothesline with the clothes billowing out like pristine spinnakers before Monday’s wind. They may come back of course, because with the price of electricity rising we may have to resort to the old clothesline and wooden pegs. I’ve been receiving e-mails from listeners who used to listen to my weekend programmes. It gives you such a buzz to know that you are remembered. I haven’t answered them yet, but I will. Meantime take a big thank you for taking the time to write. Keep warm. Yvonne Contact: Melbourne Observer, P.O. Box 1278, Research. 3095
Theatre Extra The Sum Of Us ■ The Sum Of Us starring John Jarratt, Patrick Harvey, GlennVan Oosterom, Nell Feeney, will be performed at The Clocktower Centre, Moonee Ponds on Wednesday-Thursday, June 15-16 at 8pm. The Sum of Us is written by David Stevens, and directed by Denis Moore. Bookings: 9243 9191 or www.clocktower centre.com.au Tickets: $36 - $46. - Michael Wilkie
www.MelbourneObserver.com.au
Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011 - Page 13
Victoria Pictorial
Historic Photo Collection
● Flinders Street, Melbourne. 1955.
● Main Street, Cockatoo. c 1940-1960.
● Clock Tower, Warragul. c 1940-1960.
● Lonsdale Street, Melbourne.
● Bay Street, Port Melbourne.
● The Esplanade, Albert Park.
● Cleve Gardens, St Kilda.
● Band Stand, Central Park, East Malvern.
Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Whatever Happened To ... Robert Young By Kevin Trask of 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM
● Robert Young and Elinor Donahue ■ When television first began in Melbourne in 1956 I remember going into a hall in Coburg where the local electrical retailer had set up TV sets so that the public could see television for themselves - and hopefully buy one. We sat on the floor in awe watching I Love Lucy and then suddenly there was one of my favourite film actors Robert Young in a show called Father Knows Best. I was hooked on this new invention. Robert George Young was born in Chicago, Illinois, in 1907. His family moved to Los Angeles where he graduated from college. Whilst working as a bank clerk he joined the Pasadena Players and got the acting bug - it was there that he met his future wife Betty Henderson. Robert worked as an extra in silent films and appeared in some of the Keystone Cops features. He was performing in a stage play when he was spotted by an MGM talent scout. His first supporting role in 1931 was in the Charlie Chan film, The Black Camel, where he was cast opposite Warner Oland and Bella Lugosi. He claimed that it was his next film, The Sin of Madelon Claudet, that gained him notice as producer Irving Thalberg insisted on reshooting scenes and Robert's on- screen time was increased. He was making up to eight "B' grade films a year at MGM. In 1933 he married Betty. In 1936 he was loaned to Gaumont British Studios in London for two films, Secret Agent directed by Alfred Hitchcock, and a musical It's Love Again playing opposite Jessie Matthews. Robert returned to MGM and was becoming very popular with film audiences. He was loaned to Twentieth Century Fox where he starred opposite Shirley Temple in Stowaway. His films at MGM included Three Comrades, Honolulu, Northwest Passage, Lady Be Good and The Canterville Ghost. Robert Young left MGM in 1944 and worked as a free lance actor for the rest of his life. When his film career waned in the late 1940s Robert Young turned to radio starring in Father Knows Best. The show transferred to television in 1954 and Robert was cast as Jim Anderson, the kind father who sorted out the family problems. The series ran from 1954 till 1960. Father Knows Best also starred Jane Wyatt, Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray and Lauren Chapin. I have interviewed Billy Gray and Lauren Chapin who both spoke highly of Robert. During the filming Lauren Chapin was often invited to spend the week ends with Robert, Betty and their four children. In 1966 he suffered a nervous breakdown and it took almost four years to recover. Robert Young returned with a new television series Marcus Welby MD which was very successful and ran from 1969 till 1976. Robert Young was in Melbourne for the Logies in 1970. He suffered from alcoholism and depression which led to a suicide attempt. Robert overcame these problems and lectured on his experiences to encourage others to seek help. Betty passed away in 1994 and Robert died in 1998 of respiratory failure at his home in California at the age of 91. He played the handsome, carefree man onscreen and I always enjoy watching his work in those old films. - Kevin Trask The Time Tunnel - with Bruce & Phil- Sundays at 8.30pm on 3AW. That's Entertainment - 96.5FM Sundays at Noon 96.5FM is streaming on the internet. To listen, just put in www.innerfm.org.au and follow the prompts.
Melbourne
Observer
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Melbourne Extra
DOLLY PARTON HEADS FOR MELB. "An artist is: who she is, who she thinks she is, and who her fans think she is; and the closer those three are together, the more complete that artist is. None is more complete than her." - Kenny Rogers on Dolly Parton
■ Chugg Entertainment hasconfirmed that the legendary Dolly Parton will be returning to Australia for an almighty string of concerts this November. The tour heads to Melbourne for shows on Tuesday and Wednesday, November 22-23 at Rod Laver Arena. Singer-songwriter, author, multi-instrumentalist, actress, philanthropist, businesswoman Dolly Parton is hailed as 'The Queen of Country Music,' Her four and a half decade career since her national chart debut has seen her become one of the most successful female artists in the history of the country genre. Dolly Parton has had 25 number one singles, and a record 41 Top 10 country albums. In addition to her music career, Parton's foray into other ventures include a self-titled theme park, television variety shows and several successful films - including an Oscar nomination for her role in 9 To 5 - all of which have cemented her status as an American superstar. Australian fans will be delighted when the Smoky Mountain songbird takes the stage. With hits like 9 To 5, Here You Come Again, Jolene, and the incomparable I Will Always Love You, audiences will see the show of a lifetime.
Opening night
■ The Princess Theatre will host the Melbour ne opening night performance of The Last Emperor on Saturday, June 18, celebrating the Australia China Cultural Relations Program. The Liaoning Ballet chronicles the tale of China’s last emperor, Puyi, born behind the gates of the Forbidden City into the imperial dynasty.
● Dolly Parton
NEW BURLESQUE SHOW
New music There will be new sets, costumes and new music from her forthcoming album Better Day to be released later this year. The 2½-hour show sees Dolly telling stories and interacting with fans in a wholly new show featuring a brand new production, lighting and video. Dolly Parton has written more than 4000 songs, had numerous number one hits and won countless Grammy, CMA and ACM awards, and gold and platinum albums. Dolly Parton is the most honoured female country performer of all time. Achieving 25 RIAA certified gold, platinum and multi-platinum awards, she has had 25 songs reach number one on the Billboard Country charts, a record for a female artist. She has 41 career top 10 country albums, a record for any artist, and she has 110 career charted singles over the past 40 years. All-inclusive sales of singles, albums, hits collections, paid digital downloads and compilation usage during her Hall of Fame career have reportedly topped 100 million records world-wide. She has garnered 7 Grammy Awards, 10 Country Music Association Awards, 5 Academy of Country Music Awards, 3 American Music Awards and is one of only five female artists to win the Country Music Association's Entertainer of the Year Award. Dolly Parton calls the bronze statue of her, which stands on the courthouse lawn in her hometown of Sevierville, Tennessee, her "greatest honour, because it came from the people who know me."
First visit in 30 years In 1986, Dolly saw a cherished dream become a reality with the opening of her own theme park called Dollywood, in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, at the base of the Great Smoky Mountains. The state's number one tourist attraction, Dollywood was selected by the theme park industry as one of the top three theme parks in the world in 2006 and recently won its 17 Brass ring awards and the coveted 'Applause Award' for best theme park in the world. In 1988, she began the Dollywood Foundation to inspire children in her home community to dream more, learn more, do more and care more. The Dolly Parton Imagination Library across America, Canada and now across Europe, by gives every pre-school child a book each month from the time he or she is born until the child reaches kindergarten. Dolly is busier than ever, working on various children's projects, working on a new movie project and writing and recording, these projects are just a few of her many interests at the moment. Parton's arrival on Australian shores in November this year, will be her first in nearly 30 years. . Advance Dolly Parton tour tickets across all seating categories will be available from 9am, Tuesday (June 14) until 5pm Thursday, June 16 or until tickets sell out at www.visaentertainment.com.au www.dollypartonmusic.net
From The Outer
Melbourne
Observer
kojak@ mmnet.com.au
With John Pasquarelli
■ What will Malcolm Turnbull get up to next? This man who has made lots of money and was a successful lawyer, has like Gillard, proved to be a political dill. Turnbull keeps on demonstrating his embarrassing lack of political judgment – essential for all MPs – more so for leaders. When the 1999 Republic Referendum went down, Turnbull the Republican, appeared red-faced and angry, accusing John Howard of breaking the nation’s heart. His handling of the Godwin Grech affair was abysmal and it was obvious that the hapless Grech was a troubled man. Turnbull the successful lawyer failed dismally in his assessment of a crucial witness in prosecuting a case he hoped would take him to the Lodge. Turnbull’s appearance on Lateline just happened to be at the right time for the ABC and Labor to attack Tony Abbott’s Direct Action but such is the standing of Gillard and Turnbull that the Newspoll didn’t shift that much. It suits Turnbull to pander to all the lefty trendies in his silvertail seat of Wentworth but that doesn’t resonate with the tradies and the blue-collar brigade who know about his links with Goldman Sachs and the other brokers slavering at the prospect of the billions they will make from carbon trading. John Pasquarelli: kojak@mmnet.com.au
● Zoe McDonald, Laura Burzacott and Anna Boulic from Chants Des Catacombes, being presented from June 16 - 19 at 673 Bourke St., Melbourne. ■ The Donkey Wheel House basement at 673 Bourke St, will play host to Chants Des Catacombes, a new collaborative cabaret experience mixing musical theatre, vaudeville, burlesque, indie pop, hip hop and the macabre. Chants Des Catacombes is the brainchild of Anna Boulic, a NIDA trained voice teacher, harpist and singer who, alongside theatre director Bryce Ives developed a 10minute version which won last year's Short and Sweet Cabaret Festival at Chapel Off Chapel. “It’s as exploration of the voice, music, acoustics and sound,” says Musical Director Nate Gilkes. Venue: Donkey Wheel House, 673 Bourke Street Melbourne Dates: June 16 at 8.30pm, June 17 at 8.30pm and 10.30pm, June 18 at 8.30pm and10.30pm, June 19 at 6pm. Tickets: $30 / concession $25 Bookings: www.try booking. com/9503 or at the door
Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011 - Page 15
Observer Classic Books
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rv se US N Ob N IO BO CT SE
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The Old Curiosty Shop CHAPTER 1 Continued from last week
The old man paused a moment while it was gently closed and fastened on the inside, and satisfied that this was done, walked on at a slow pace. At the street-corner he stopped, and regarding me with a troubled countenance said that our ways were widely different and that he must take his leave. I would have spoken, but summoning up more alacrity than might have been expected in one of his appearance, he hurried away. I could see that twice or thrice he looked back as if to ascertain if I were still watching him, or perhaps to assure himself that I was not following at a distance. The obscurity of the night favoured his disappearance, and his figure was soon beyond my sight. I remained standing on the spot where he had left me, unwilling to depart, and yet unknowing why I should loiter there. I looked wistfully into the street we had lately quitted, and after a time directed my steps that way. I passed and repassed the house, and stopped and listened at the door; all was dark, and silent as the grave. Yet I lingered about, and could not tear myself away, thinking of all possible harm that might happen to the child — of fires and robberies and even murder — and feeling as if some evil must ensure if I turned my back upon the place. The closing of a door or window in the street brought me before the curiosity-dealer’s once more; I crossed the road and looked up at the house to assure myself that the noise had not come from there. No, it was black, cold, and lifeless as before. There were few passengers astir; the street was sad and dismal, and pretty well my own. A few stragglers from the theatres hurried by, and now and then I turned aside to avoid some noisy drunkard as he reeled homewards, but these interruptions were not frequent and soon ceased. The clocks struck one. Still I paced up and down, promising myself that every time should be the last, and breaking faith with myself on some new plea as often as I did so. The more I thought of what the old man had said, and of his looks and bearing, the less I could account for what I had seen and heard. I had a strong misgiving that his nightly absence was for no good purpose. I had only come to know the fact through the innocence of the child, and though the old man was by at the time, and saw my undisguised surprise, he had preserved a strange mystery upon the subject and offered no word of explanation. These reflections naturally recalled again more strongly than before his haggard face, his wandering manner, his restless anxious looks. His affection for the child might not be inconsistent with villany of the worst kind; even that very affection was in itself an extraordinary contradiction, or how could he leave her thus? Disposed as I was to think badly of him, I never doubted that his love for her was real. I could not admit the thought, remembering what had passed between us, and the tone of voice in which he had called her by her name. ‘Stay here of course,’ the child had said in answer to my question, ‘I always do!’ What could take him from home by night, and every night! I called up all the strange tales I had ever heard of dark and secret deeds committed in great towns and escaping detection for a long series of years; wild as many of these stories were, I could not find one adapted to this mystery, which only became the more impenetrable, in proportion as I sought to solve it. Occupied with such thoughts as these, and a crowd of others all tending to the same point, I continued to pace the street for two long hours; at length the rain began to descend heavily, and then over-powered by fatigue though no less interested than I had been at first, I engaged the nearest coach and so got home. A cheerful fire was blazing on the hearth, the lamp burnt brightly, my clock received me with its old familiar welcome; everything was quiet, warm and cheering, and in happy contrast to the gloom and darkness I had quitted. But all that night, waking or in my sleep, the same thoughts recurred and the same images retained possession of my brain. I had ever be
● Charles Dickens fore me the old dark murky rooms — the gaunt suits of mail with their ghostly silent air — the faces all awry, grinning from wood and stone — the dust and rust and worm that lives in wood — and alone in the midst of all this lumber and decay and ugly age, the beautiful child in her gentle slumber, smiling through her light and sunny dreams.
CHAPTER 2 After combating, for nearly a week, the feeling which impelled me to revisit the place I had quitted under the circumstances already detailed, I yielded to it at length; and determining that this time I would present myself by the light of day, bent my steps thither early in the morning. I walked past the house, and took several turns in the street, with that kind of hesitation which is natural to a man who is conscious that the visit he is about to pay is unexpected, and may not be very acceptable. However, as the door of the shop was shut, and it did not appear likely that I should be recognized by those within, if I continued merely to pass up and down before it, I soon conquered this irresolution, and found myself in the Curiosity Dealer’s warehouse. The old man and another person were together in the back part, and there seemed to have been high words between them, for their voices which were raised to a very high pitch suddenly stopped on my entering, and the old man advancing hastily towards me, said in a tremulous tone that he was very glad I had come. ‘You interrupted us at a critical moment,’ said he, pointing to the man whom I had found in company with him; ‘this fellow will murder me one of these days. He would have done so, long ago, if he had dared.’ ‘Bah! You would swear away my life if you could,’ returned the other, after bestowing a stare and a frown on me; ‘we all know that!’
‘I almost think I could,’ cried the old man, turning feebly upon him. ‘If oaths, or prayers, or words, could rid me of you, they should. I would be quit of you, and would be relieved if you were dead.’ ‘I know it,’ returned the other. ‘I said so, didn’t I? But neither oaths, or prayers, nor words, WILL kill me, and therefore I live, and mean to live.’ ‘And his mother died!’ cried the old man, passionately clasping his hands and looking upward; ‘and this is Heaven’s justice!’ The other stood lunging with his foot upon a chair, and regarded him with a contemptuous sneer. He was a young man of one-and-twenty or thereabouts; well made, and certainly handsome, though the expression of his face was far from prepossessing, having in common with his manner and even his dress, a dissipated, insolent air which repelled one. ‘Justice or no justice,’ said the young fellow, ‘here I am and here I shall stop till such time as I think fit to go, unless you send for assistance to put me out — which you won’t do, I know. I tell you again that I want to see my sister.’ ‘YOUR sister!’ said the old man bitterly. ‘Ah! You can’t change the relationship,’ returned the other. ‘If you could, you’d have done it long ago. I want to see my sister, that you keep cooped up here, poisoning her mind with your sly secrets and pretending an affection for her that you may work her to death, and add a few scraped shillings every week to the money you can hardly count. I want to see her; and I will.’ ‘Here’s a moralist to talk of poisoned minds! Here’s a generous spirit to scorn scraped-up shillings!’ cried the old man, turning from him to me. ‘A profligate, sir, who has forfeited every claim not only upon those who have the misfortune to be of his blood, but upon society which knows nothing of him but his misdeeds. A liar too,’ he added, in a lower voice as he drew closer to me, ‘who knows how dear she is to me, and
seeks to wound me even there, because there is a stranger nearby.’ ‘Strangers are nothing to me, grandfather,’ said the young fellow catching at the word, ‘nor I to them, I hope. The best they can do, is to keep an eye to their business and leave me to mind. There’s a friend of mine waiting outside, and as it seems that I may have to wait some time, I’ll call him in, with your leave.’ Saying this, he stepped to the door, and looking down the street beckoned several times to some unseen person, who, to judge from the air of impatience with which these signals were accompanied, required a great quantity of persuasion to induce him to advance. At length there sauntered up, on the opposite side of the way — with a bad pretense of passing by accident — a figure conspicuous for its dirty smartness, which after a great many frowns and jerks of the head, in resistence of the invitation, ultimately crossed the road and was brought into the shop. ‘There. It’s Dick Swiveller,’ said the young fellow, pushing him in. ‘Sit down, Swiveller.’ ‘But is the old min agreeable?’ said Mr Swiveller in an undertone. Mr Swiveller complied, and looking about him with a propritiatory smile, observed that last week was a fine week for the ducks, and this week was a fine week for the dust; he also observed that whilst standing by the post at the street-corner, he had observed a pig with a straw in his mouth issuing out of the tobacco-shop, from which appearance he augured that another fine week for the ducks was approaching, and that rain would certainly ensue. He furthermore took occasion to apologize for any negligence that might be perceptible in his dress, on the ground that last night he had had ‘the sun very strong in his eyes’; by which expression he was understood to convey to his hearers in the most delicate manner possible, the information that he had been extremely drunk. ‘But what,’ said Mr Swiveller with a sigh, ‘what is the odds so long as the fire of soul is kindled at the taper of conwiviality, and the wing of friendship never moults a feather! What is the odds so long as the spirit is expanded by means of rosy wine, and the present moment is the least happiest of our existence!’ ‘You needn’t act the chairman here,’ said his friend, half aside. ‘Fred!’ cried Mr Swiveller, tapping his nose, ‘a word to the wise is sufficient for them — we may be good and happy without riches, Fred. Say not another syllable. I know my cue; smart is the word. Only one little whisper, Fred — is the old min friendly?’ ‘Never you mind,’ repled his friend. ‘Right again, quite right,’ said Mr Swiveller, ‘caution is the word, and caution is the act.’ with that, he winked as if in preservation of some deep secret, and folding his arms and leaning back in his chair, looked up at the ceiling with profound gravity. It was perhaps not very unreasonable to suspect from what had already passed, that Mr Swiveller was not quite recovered from the effects of the powerful sunlight to which he had made allusion; but if no such suspicion had been awakened by his speech, his wiry hair, dull eyes, and sallow face would still have been strong witnesses against him. His attire was not, as he had himself hinted, remarkable for the nicest arrangement, but was in a state of disorder which strongly induced the idea that he had gone to bed in it. It consisted of a brown body-coat with a great many brass buttons up the front and only one behind, a bright check neckerchief, a plaid waistcoat, soiled white trousers, and a very limp hat, worn with the wrong side foremost, to hide a hole in the brim. The breast of his coat was ornamented with an outside pocket from which there peeped forth the cleanest end of a very large and very ill-favoured handkerchief; his dirty wristbands were pulled on as far as possible and ostentatiously folded back over his cuffs; he displayed no gloves, and carried a yellow cane having at the top a bone hand with the semblance of a ring on its little finger and a black ball in its grasp. With all these personal advantages (to which may be added a strong savour of tobacco-smoke, and a prevailing
Continued on Page 16
Page 16 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011
From Page 15 greasiness of appearance) Mr Swiveller leant back in his chair with his eyes fixed on the ceiling, and occasionally pitching his voice to the needful key, obliged the company with a few bars of an intensely dismal air, and then, in the middle of a note, relapsed into his former silence. The old man sat himself down in a chair, and with folded hands, looked sometimes at his grandson and sometimes at his strange companion, as if he were utterly powerless and had no resource but to leave them to do as they pleased. The young man reclined against a table at no great distance from his friend, in apparent indifference to everything that had passed; and I— who felt the difficulty of any interference, notwithstanding that the old man had appealed to me, both by words and looks — made the best feint I could of being occupied in examining some of the goods that were disposed for sale, and paying very little attention to a person before me. The silence was not of long duration, for Mr Swiveller, after favouring us with several melodious assurances that his heart was in the Highlands, and that he wanted but his Arab steed as a preliminary to the achievement of great feats of valour and loyalty, removed his eyes from the ceiling and subsided into prose again. ‘Fred,’ said Mr Swiveller stopping short, as if the idea had suddenly occurred to him, and speaking in the same audible whisper as before, ‘is the old min friendly?’ ‘What does it matter?’ returned his friend peevishly. ‘No, but IS he?’ said Dick. ‘Yes, of course. What do I care whether he is or not?’ Emboldened as it seemed by this reply to enter into a more general conversation, Mr Swiveller plainly laid himself out to captivate our attention. He began by remarking that soda-water, though a good thing in the abstract, was apt to lie cold upon the stomach unless qualified with ginger, or a small infusion of brandy, which latter article he held to be preferable in all cases, saving for the one consideration of expense. Nobody venturing to dispute these positions, he proceeded to observe that the human hair was a great retainer of tobacco-smoke, and that the young gentlemen of Westminster and Eton, after eating vast quantities of apples to conceal any scent of cigars from their anxious friends, were usually detected in consequence of their heads possessing this remarkable property; when he concluded that if the Royal Society would turn their attention to the circumstance, and endeavour to find in the resources of science a means of preventing such untoward revelations, they might indeed be looked upon as benefactors to mankind. These opinions being equally incontrovertible with those he had already pronounced, he went on to inform us that Jamaica rum, though unquestionably an agreeable spirit of great richness and flavour, had the drawback of remaining constantly present to the taste next day; and nobody being venturous enough to argue this point either, he increased in confidence and became yet more companionable and communicative. ‘It’s a devil of a thing, gentlemen,’ said Mr Swiveller, ‘when relations fall out and disagree. If the wing of friendship should never moult a feather, the wing of relationship should never be clipped, but be always expanded and serene. Why should a grandson and grandfather peg away at each other with mutual wiolence when all might be bliss and concord. Why not jine hands and forgit it?’ ‘Hold your tongue,’ said his friend. ‘Sir,’ replied Mr Swiveller, ‘don’t you interrupt the chair. Gentlemen, how does the case stand, upon the present occasion? Here is a jolly old grandfather — I say it with the utmost respect — and here is a wild, young grandson. The jolly old grandfather says to the wild young grandson, ‘I have brought you up and educated you, Fred; I have put you in the way of getting on in life; you have bolted a little out of course, as young fellows often do; and you shall never have another chance, nor the ghost of half a one.’ The wild young grandson makes answer to this and says, ‘You’re as rich as rich can be; you have been at no uncommon expense on my account, you’re saving up piles of money for my little sister that lives with you in a secret, stealthy, hugger-muggering kind of way and with no manner of enjoyment — why can’t you stand a
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Observer Classic Books trifle for your grown-up relation?’ The jolly old grandfather unto this, retorts, not only that he declines to fork out with that cheerful readiness which is always so agreeable and pleasant in a gentleman of his time of life, but that he will bow up, and call names, and make reflections whenever they meet. Then the plain question is, an’t it a pity that this state of things should continue, and how much better would it be for the gentleman to hand over a reasonable amount of tin, and make it all right and comfortable?’ Having delivered this oration with a great many waves and flourishes of the hand, Mr Swiveller abruptly thrust the head of his cane into his mouth as if to prevent himself from impairing the effect of his speech by adding one other word. ‘Why do you hunt and persecute me, God help me!’ said the old man turning to his grandson. ‘Why do you bring your prolifigate companions here? How often am I to tell you that my life is one of care and self-denial, and that I am poor?’ ‘How often am I to tell you,’ returned the other, looking coldly at him, ‘that I know better?’ ‘You have chosen your own path,’ said the old man. ‘Follow it. Leave Nell and me to toil and work.’ ‘Nell will be a woman soon,’ returned the other, ‘and, bred in your faith, she’ll forget her brother unless he shows himself sometimes.’ ‘Take care,’ said the old man with sparkling eyes, ‘that she does not forget you when you would have her memory keenest. Take care that the day don’t come when you walk barefoot in the streets, and she rides by in a gay carriage of her own.’ ‘You mean when she has your money?’ retorted the other. ‘How like a poor man he talks!’ ‘And yet,’ said the old man dropping his voice and speaking like one who thinks aloud, ‘how poor we are, and what a life it is! The cause is a young child’s guiltless of all harm or wrong, but nothing goes well with it! Hope and patience, hope and patience!’ These words were uttered in too low a tone to reach the ears of the young men. Mr Swiveller appeared to think the they implied some mental struggle consequent upon the powerful effect of his address, for he poked his friend with his cane and whispered his conviction that he had administered ‘a clincher,’ and that he expected a commission on the profits. Discovering his mistake after a while, he appeared to grow rather sleeply and discontented, and had more than once suggested the proprieity of an immediate departure, when the door opened, and the child herself appeared.
CHAPTER 3 The child was closely followed by an elderly man of remarkably hard features and forbidding aspect, and so low in stature as to be quite a dwarf, though his head and face were large enough for the body of a giant. His black eyes were restless, sly, and cunning; his mouth and chin, bristly with the stubble of a coarse hard beard; and his complexion was one of that kind which never looks clean or wholesome. But what added most to the grotesque expression of his face was a ghastly smile, which, appearing to be the mere result of habit and to have no connection with any mirthful or complacent feeling, constantly revealed the few discoloured fangs that were yet scattered in his mouth, and gave him the aspect of a panting dog. His dress consisted of a large high-crowned hat, a worn dark suit, a pair of capacious shoes, and a dirty white neckerchief sufficiently limp and crumpled to disclose the greater portion of his wiry throat. Such hair as he had was of a grizzled black, cut short and straight upon his temples, and hanging in a frowzy fringe about his ears. His hands, which were of a rough, coarse grain, were very dirty; his fingernails were crooked, long, and yellow. There was ample time to note these particulars, for besides that they were sufficiently obvious without very close observation, some moments elapsed before any one broke silence. The child advanced timidly towards her brother and put her hand in his, the dwarf (if we may call him so) glanced keenly at all present, and the curiosity-dealer, who plainly had not expected his uncouth visitor, seemed disconcerted and embarrassed. ‘Ah!’ said the dwarf, who with his hand stretched out above his eyes had been surveying the young man attentively, ‘that should be your grandson, neighbour!’ ‘Say rather that he should not be,’ replied the old
man. ‘But he is.’ ‘And that?’ said the dwarf, pointing to Dick Swiveller. ‘Some friend of his, as welcome here as he,’ said the old man. ‘And that?’ inquired the dwarf, wheeling round and pointing straight at me. ‘A gentleman who was so good as to bring Nell home the other night when she lost her way, coming from your house.’ The little man turned to the child as if to chide her or express his wonder, but as she was talking to the young man, held his peace, and bent his head to listen. ‘Well, Nelly,’ said the young fellow aloud. ‘Do they teach you to hate me, eh?’ ‘No, no. For shame. Oh, no!’ cried the child. ‘To love me, perhaps?’ pursued her brother with a sneer. ‘To do neither,’ she returned. ‘They never speak to me about you. Indeed they never do.’ ‘I dare be bound for that,’ he said, darting a bitter look at the grandfather. ‘I dare be bound for that Nell. Oh! I believe you there!’ ‘But I love you dearly, Fred,’ said the child. ‘No doubt!’ ‘I do indeed, and always will,’ the child repeated with great emotion, ‘but oh! If you would leave off vexing him and making him unhappy, then I could love you more.’ ‘I see!’ said the young man, as he stooped carelessly over the child, and having kissed her, pushed her from him: ‘There — get you away now you have said your lesson. You needn’t whimper. We part good friends enough, if that’s the matter.’ He remained silent, following her with his eyes, until she had gained her little room and closed the door; and then turning to the dwarf, said abruptly, ‘Harkee, Mr —’ ‘Meaning me?’ returned the dwarf. ‘Quilp is my name. You might remember. It’s not a long one — Daniel Quilp.’ ‘Harkee, Mr Quilp, then,’ pursued the other, ‘You have some influence with my grandfather there.’ ‘Some,’ said Mr Quilp emphatically. ‘And are in a few of his mysteries and secrets.’ ‘A few,’ replied Quilp, with equal dryness. ‘Then let me tell him once for all, through you, that I will come into and go out of this place as often as I like, so long as he keeps Nell here; and that if he wants to be quit of me, he must first be quit of her. What have I done to be made a bugbear of, and to be shunned and dreaded as if I brought the plague? He’ll tell you that I have no natural affection; and that I care no more for Nell, for her own sake, than I do for him. Let him say so. I care for the whim, then, of coming to and fro and reminding her of my existence. I WILL see her when I please. That’s my point. I came here to-day to maintain it, and I’ll come here again fifty times with the same object and always with the same success. I said I would stop till I had gained it. I have done so, and now my visit’s ended. Come Dick.’ ‘Stop!’ cried Mr Swiveller, as his companion turned toward the door. ‘Sir!’ ‘Sir, I am your humble servant,’ said Mr Quilp, to whom the monosyllable was addressed. ‘Before I leave the gay and festive scene, and halls of dazzling light, sir,’ said Mr Swiveller, ‘I will with your permission, attempt a slight remark. I came here, sir, this day, under the impression that the old min was friendly.’ ‘Proceed, sir,’ said Daniel Quilp; for the orator had made a sudden stop. ‘Inspired by this idea and the sentiments it awakened, sir, and feeling as a mutual friend that badgering, baiting, and bullying, was not the sort of thing calculated to expand the souls and promote the social harmony of the contending parties, I took upon myself to suggest a course which is THE course to be adopted to the present occasion. Will you allow me to whisper half a syllable, sir?’ Without waiting for the permission he sought, Mr Swiveller stepped up to the dwarf, and leaning on his shoulder and stooping down to get at his ear, said in a voice which was perfectly audible to all present, ‘The watch-word to the old min is — fork.’ ‘Is what?’ demanded Quilp. ‘Is fork, sir, fork,’ replied Mr Swiveller slapping his picket. ‘You are awake, sir?’ The dwarf nodded. Mr Swiveller drew back and nodded likewise, then drew a little further back and nodded again, and so on. By these means he in time reached the door, where he gave a great cough to attract the dwarf’s attention and
gain an opportunity of expressing in dumb show, the closest confidence and most inviolable secrecy. Having performed the serious pantomime that was necessary for the due conveyance of these idea, he cast himself upon his friend’s track, and vanished. ‘Humph!’ said the dwarf with a sour look and a shrug of his shoulders, ‘so much for dear relations. Thank God I acknowledge none! Nor need you either,’ he added, turning to the old man, ‘if you were not as weak as a reed, and nearly as senseless.’ ‘What would you have me do?’ he retorted in a kind of helpless desperation. ‘It is easy to talk and sneer. What would you have me do?’ ‘What would I do if I was in your case?’ said the dwarf. ‘Something violent, no doubt.’ ‘You’re right there,’ returned the little man, highly gratified by the compliment, for such he evidently considered it; and grinning like a devil as he rubbed his dirty hands together. ‘Ask Mrs Quilp, pretty Mrs Quilp, obedient, timid, loving Mrs Quilp. But that reminds me — I have left her all alone, and she will be anxious and know not a moment’s peace till I return. I know she’s always in that condition when I’m away, thought she doesn’t dare to say so, unless I lead her on and tell her she may speak freely and I won’t be angry with her. Oh! well-trained Mrs Quilp. The creature appeared quite horrible with his monstrous head and little body, as he rubbed his hands slowly round, and round, and round again — with something fantastic even in his manner of performing this slight action — and, dropping his shaggy brows and cocking his chin in the air, glanced upward with a stealthy look of exultation that an imp might have copied and appropriated to himself. ‘Here,’ he said, putting his hand into his breast and sidling up to the old man as he spoke; ‘I brought it myself for fear of accidents, as, being in gold, it was something large and heavy for Nell to carry in her bag. She need be accustomed to such loads betimes thought, neighbor, for she will carry weight when you are dead.’ ‘Heaven send she may! I hope so,’ said the old man with something like a groan.’ ‘Hope so!’ echoed the dwarf, approaching close to his ear; ‘neighbour, I would I knew in what good investment all these supplies are sunk. But you are a deep man, and keep your secret close.’ ‘My secret!’ said the other with a haggard look. ‘Yes, you’re right — I— I— keep it close — very close.’ He said no more, but taking the money turned away with a slow, uncertain step, and pressed his hand upon his head like a weary and dejected man. the dwarf watched him sharply, while he passed into the little sitting-room and locked it in an iron safe above the chimneypiece; and after musing for a short space, prepared to take his leave, observing that unless he made good haste, Mrs Quilp would certainly be in fits on his return. ‘And so, neighbour,’ he added, ‘I’ll turn my face homewards, leaving my love for Nelly and hoping she may never lose her way again, though her doing so HAS procured me an honour I didn’t expect.’ With that he bowed and leered at me, and with a keen glance around which seemed to comprehend every object within his range of vision, however, small or trivial, went his way. I had several times essayed to go myself, but the old man had always opposed it and entreated me to remain. As he renewed his entreaties on our being left along, and adverted with many thanks to the former occasion of our being together, I willingly yielded to his persuasions, and sat down, pretending to examine some curious miniatures and a few old medals which he placed before me. It needed no great pressing to induce me to stay, for if my curiosity has been excited on the occasion of my first visit, it certainly was not diminished now. Nell joined us before long, and bringing some needle-work to the table, sat by the old man’s side. It was pleasant to observe the fresh flowers in the room, the pet bird with a green bough shading his little cage, the breath of freshness and youth which seemed to rustle through the old dull house and hover round the child. It was curious, but not so pleasant, to turn from the beauty and grace of the girl, to the stooping figure, care-worn face, and jaded aspect of the old man. As he grew weaker and more feeble, what would become of this lonely litle creature; poor - Continued on Page 45
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From Page 16 protector as he was, say that he died — what we be her fate, then? The old man almost answered my thoughts, as he laid his hand on hers, and spoke aloud. ‘I’ll be of better cheer, Nell,’ he said; ‘there must be good fortune in store for thee — I do not ask it for myself, but thee. Such miseries must fall on thy innocent head without it, that I cannot believe but that, being tempted, it will come at last!’ She looked cheerfully into his face, but made no answer. ‘When I think,’ said he, ‘of the many years — many in thy short life — that thou has lived with me; of my monotonous existence, knowing no companions of thy own age nor any childish pleasures; of the solitutde in which thou has grown to be what thou art, and in which thou hast lived apart from nearly all thy kind but one old man; I sometimes fear I have dealt hardly by thee, Nell.’ ‘Grandfather!’ cried the child in unfeigned surprise. ‘Not in intention — no no,’ said he. ‘I have ever looked forward to the time that should enable thee to mix among the gayest and prettiest, and take thy station with the best. But I still look forward, Nell, I still look forward, and if I should be forced to leave thee, meanwhile, how have I fitted thee for struggles with the world? The poor bird yonder is as well qualified to encounter it, and be turned adrift upon its mercies — Hark! I hear Kit outside. Go to him, Nell, go to him.’ She rose, and hurrying away, stopped, turned back, and put her arms about the old man’s neck, then left him and hurried away again — but faster this time, to hide her falling tears. ‘A word in your ear, sir,’ said the old man in a hurried whisper. ‘I have been rendered uneasy by what you said the other night, and can only plead that I have done all for the best — that it is too late to retract, if I could (though I cannot)— and that I hope to triumph yet. All is for her sake. I have borne great poverty myself, and would spare her the sufferings that poverty carries with it. I would spare her the miseries that brought her mother, my own dear child, to an early grave. I would leave her — not with resources which could be easily spent or squandered away, but with what would place her beyond the reach of want for ever. you mark me sir? She shall have no pittance, but a fortune — Hush! I can say no more than that, now or at any other time, and she is here again!’ The eagerness with which all this was poured into my ear, the trembling of the hand with which he clasped my arm, the strained and starting eyes he fixed upon me, the wild vehemence and agitation of his manner, filled me with amazement. All that I had heard and seen, and a great part of what he had said himself, led me to suppose that he was a wealthy man. I could form no comprehension of his character, unless he were one of those miserable wretches who, having made gain the sole end and object of their lives and having succeeded in amassing great riches, are constantly tortured by the dread of poverty, and best by fears of loss and ruin. Many things he had said which I had been at a loss to understand, were quite reconcilable with the idea thus presented to me, and at length I concluded that beyond all doubt he was one of this unhappy race. The opinion was not the result of hasty consideration, for which indeed there was no opportunity at that time, as the child came directly, and soon occupied herself in preparations for giving Kit a writing lesson, of which it seemed he had a couple every week, and one regularly on that evening, to the great mirth and enjoyment both of himself and his instructress. To relate how it was a long time before his modesty could be so far prevailed upon as it admit of his sitting down in the parlour, in the presence of an unknown gentleman — how, when he did set down, he tucked up his sleeves and squared his elbows and put his face close to the copy-book and squinted horribly at the lines — how, from the very first moment of having the pen in his hand, he began to wallow in blots, and to daub himself with ink up to the very roots of his hair — how, if he did by accident form a letter properly, he immediately smeared it out again with his arm in his preparations to make another — how, at every fresh mistake, there was a fresh burst of merriment from the child and louder and not less hearty laugh from poor Kit himself — and how there was all the way through, notwithstanding, a gentle wish on her part to teach, and an
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Observer Classic Books anxious desire on his to learn — to relate all these particulars would no doubt occupy more space and time than they deserve. It will be sufficient to say that the lesson was given — that evening passed and night came on — that the old man again grew restless and impatient — that he quitted the house secretly at the same hour as before — and that the child was once more left alone within its gloomy walls. And now that I have carried this history so far in my own character and introduced these personages to the reader, I shall for the convenience of the narrative detach myself from its further course, and leave those who have prominent and necessary parts in it to speak and act for themselves.
CHAPTER 4 Mr and Mrs Quilp resided on Tower Hill; and in her bower on Tower Hill. Mrs Quilp was left to pine the absence of her lord, when he quitted her on the business which he had already seen to transact. Mr Quilp could scarcely be said to be of any particular trade or calling, though his pursuits were diversified and his occupations numerous. He collected the rents of whole colonies of filthy streets and alleys by the waterside, advanced money to the seamen and petty officers of merchant vessels, had a share in the ventures of divers mates of East Indiamen, smoked his smuggled cigars under the very nose of the Custom House, and made appointments on ‘Change with men in glazed hats and round jackets pretty well every day. On the Surrey side of the river was a small rat-infested dreary yard called ‘Quilp’s Wharf,’ in which were a little wooden counting-house burrowing all awry in the dust as if it had fallen from the clouds and ploughed into the ground; a few fragments of rusty anchors; several large iron rings; some piles of rotten wood; and two or three heaps of old sheet copper, crumpled, cracked, and battered. On Quilp’s Wharf, Daniel Quilp was a ship-breaker, yet to judge from these appearances he must either have been a ship-breaker on a very small scale, or have broken his ships up very small indeed. Neither did the place present any extraordinary aspect of life or activity, as its only human occupant was an amphibious boy in a canvas suit, whose sole change of occupation was from sitting on the head of a pile and throwing stones into the mud when the tide was out, to standing with his hands in his pockets gazing listlessly on the motion and on the bustle of the river at high-water. The dwarf’s lodging on Tower hill comprised, besides the needful accommodation for himself and Mrs Quilp, a small sleeping-closet for that lady’s mother, who resided with the couple and waged perpetual war with Daniel; of whom, notwithstanding, she stood in no slight dread. Indeed, the ugly creature contrived by some means or other — whether by his ugliness or his ferocity or his natural cunning is no great matter — to impress with a wholesome fear of his anger, most of those with whom he was brought into daily contact and communication. Over nobody had he such complete ascendance as Mrs Quilp herself — a pretty little, mild-spoken, blue-eyed woman, who having allied herself in wedlock to the dwarf in one of those strange infatuations of which examples are by no means scarce, performed a sound practical penance for her folly, every day of her life. It has been said that Mrs Quilp was pining in her bower. In her bower she was, but not alone, for besides the old lady her mother of whom mention has recently been made, there were present some half-dozen ladies of the neighborhood who had happened by a strange accident (and also by a little understanding among themselves) to drop in one after another, just about tea-time. This being a season favourable to conversation, and the room being a cool, shady, lazy kind of place, with some plants at the open window shutting out the dust, and interposing pleasantly enough between the tea table within and the old Tower without, it is no wonder that the ladies felt an inclination to talk and linger, especially when there are taken into account the additional inducements of fresh butter, new bread, shrimps, and watercresses. Now, the ladies being together under these circumstances, it was extremely natural that the discourse should turn upon the propensity of mankind to tyrannize over the weaker sex, and the duty that developed upon the weaker sex to resist that tyranny and assert their rights and dig-
nity. It was natural for four reasons: firstly, because Mrs Quilp being a young woman and notoriously under the dominion of her husband ought to be excited to rebel; secondly, because Mrs Quilp’s parent was known to be laudably shrewish in her disposition and inclined to resist male authority; thirdly, because each visitor wished to show for herself how superior she was in this respect to the generality of her sex; and forthly, because the company being accustomed to acandalise each other in pairs, were deprived of their usual subject of conversation now that they were all assembled in close friendship, and had consequently no better employment than to attack the common enemy. Moved by these considerations, a stout lady opened the proceedings by inquiring, with an air of great concern and sympathy, how Mr Quilp was; whereunto Mr Quilp’s wife’s mother replied sharply, ‘Oh! He was well enough — nothing much was every the matter with him — and ill weeds were sure to thrive.’All the ladies then sighed in concert, shook their heads gravely, and looked at Mrs Quilp as a martyr. ‘Ah!’ said the spokeswoman, ‘I wish you’d give her a little of your advice, Mrs Jiniwin’— Mrs Quilp had been a Miss Jiniwin it should be observed —‘nobody knows better than you, ma’am, what us women owe to ourselves.’ ‘Owe indeed, ma’am!’ replied Mrs Jiniwin. ‘When my poor husband, her dear father, was alive, if he had ever venture’d a cross word to me, I’d have —’ The good old lady did not finish the sentence, but she twisted off the head of a shrimp with a vindictiveness which seemed to imply that the action was in some degree a substitute for words. In this light it was clearly understood by the other party, who immediately replied with great approbation, ‘You quite enter into my feelings, ma’am, and it’s jist what I’d do myself.’ ‘But you have no call to do it,’ said Mrs Jiniwin. ‘Luckily for you, you have no more occasion to do it than I had.’ ‘No woman need have, if she was true to herself,’ rejoined the stout lady. ‘Do you hear that, Betsy?’ said Mrs Jiniwin, in a warning voice. ‘How often have I said the same words to you, and almost gone down my knees when I spoke ’em!’ Poor Mrs Quilp, who had looked in a state of helplessness from one face of condolence to another, coloured, smiled, and shook her head doubtfully. This was the signal for a general clamour, which beginning in a low murmur gradually swelled into a great noise in which everybody spoke at once, and all said that she being a young woman had no right to set up her opinions against the experiences of those who knew so much better; that it was very wrong of her not to take the advice of people who had nothing at heart but her good; that it was next door to being downright ungrateful to conduct herself in that manner; that if she had no respect for herself she ought to have some for other women, all of whom she compromised by her meekness; and that if she had no respect for other women, the time would come when other women would have no respect for her; and she would be very sorry for that, they could tell her. Having dealt out these admonitions, the ladies fell to a more powerful assault than they had yet made upon the mixed tea, new bread, fresh butter, shrimps, and watercresses, and said that their vexation was so great to see her going on like that, that they could hardly bring themselves to eat a single morsel. It’s all very fine to talk,’ said Mrs Quilp with much simplicity, ‘but I know that if I was to die to-morrow, Quilp could marry anybody he pleased — now that he could, I know!’ There was quite a scream of indignation at this idea. Marry whom he pleased! They would like to see him dare to think of marrying any of them; they would like to see the faintest approach to such a thing. One lady (a widow) was quite certain she should stab him if he hinted at it. ‘Very well,’ said Mrs Quilp, nodding her head, ‘as I said just now, it’s very easy to talk, but I say again that I know — that I’m sure — Quilp has such a way with him when he likes, that the best looking woman here couldn’t refuse him if I was dead, and she was free, and he chose to make love to him. Come!’ Everybody bridled up at this remark, as much as to say, ‘I know you mean me. Let him try — that’s all.’ and yet for some hidden reason they were all angry with the widow, and each lady whispered in her neighbour’s ear that it was very plain that said widow thought herself the person
referred to, and what a puss she was! ‘Mother knows,’ said Mrs Quilp, ‘that what I say is quite correct, for she often said so before we were married. Didn’t you say so, mother?’ This inquiry involved the respected lady in rather a delicate position, for she certainly had been an active party in making her daughter Mrs Quilp, and, besides, it was not supporting the family credit to encourage the idea that she had married a man whom nobody else would have. On the other hand, to exaggerate the captivating qualities of her son-in-law would be to weaken the cause of revolt, in which all her energies were deeply engaged. Beset by these opposing considerations, Mrs Jiniwin admitted the powers of insinuation, but denied the right to govern, and with a timely compliment to the stout lady brought back the discussion to the point from which it had strayed. ‘Oh! It’s a sensible and proper thing indeed, what Mrs George has said,!’ exclaimed the old lady. ‘If women are only true to themselves!— But Betsy isn’t, and more’s the shame and pity.’ ‘Before I’d let a man order me about as Quilp orders her,’ said Mrs George, ‘before I’d consent to stand in awe of a man as she does of him, I’d — I’d kill myself, and write a letter first to say he did it!’ This remark being loudly commended and approved of, another lady (from the Minories) put in her word: ‘Mr Quilp may be a very nice man,’ said this lady, ‘and I supposed there’s no doubt he is, because Mrs Quilp says he is, and Mrs Jiniwin says he is, and they ought to know, or nobody does. But still he is not quite a — what one calls a handsome man, nor quite a young man neither, which might be a little excuse for him if anything could be; whereas his wife is young, and is good-looking, and is a woman — which is the greatest thing after all.’ This last clause being delivered with extraordinary pathos, elicited a corresponding murmer from the hearers, stimulated by which the lady went on to remark that if such a husband was cross and unreasonable with such a wife, then — ‘If he is!’ interposed the mother, putting down her tea-cup and brushing the crumbs out of her lap, preparatory to making a solemn declaration. ‘If he is! He is the greatest tyrant that every lived, she daren’t call her soul her own, he makes her tremble with a word and even with a look, he frightens her to death, and she hasn’t the spirit to give him a word back, no, not a single word.’ Notwithstanding that the fact had been notorious beforehand to all the tea-drinkers, and had been discussed and expatiated on at every teadrinking in the neighbourhood for the last twelve months, this official communication was no sooner made than they all began to talk at once and to vie with each other in vehemence and volubility. Mrs George remarked that people would talk, that people had often said this to her before, that Mrs Simmons then and there present had told her so twenty times, that she had always said, ‘No, Henrietta Simmons, unless I see it with my own eyes and hear it with my own ears, I never will believe it.’ Mrs Simmons corroborated this testimony and added strong evidence of her own. The lady from the Minories recounted a successful course of treatment under which she had placed her own husband, who, from manifesting one month after marriage unequivocal symptoms of the tiger, had by this means become subdued into a perfect lamb. Another lady recounted her own personal struggle and final triumph, in the course whereof she had found it necessary to call in her mother and two aunts, and to weep incessantly night and day for six weeks. A third, who in the general confusion could secure no other listener, fastened herself upon a young woman still unmarried who happened to be amongst them, and conjured her, as she valued her own peace of mind and happiness to profit by this solemn occasion, to take example from the weakness of Mrs Quilp, and from that time forth to direct her whole thoughts to taming and subduing the rebellious spirit of man. The noise was at its height, and half the company had elevated their voices into a perfect shriek in order to drown the voices of the other half, when Mrs Jiniwin was seen to change colour and shake her forefinger stealthily, as if exhorting them to silence. Then, and not until then, Daniel Quilp himself, the cause and occasion of all this clamour, was observed to be in the room, looking on and listening with profound attention.
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Page 46 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 8, 2011
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From Page 45 ‘Go on, ladies, go on,’ said Daniel. ‘Mrs Quilp, pray ask the ladies to stop to supper, and have a couple of lobsters and something light and palatable.’ ‘I— I— didn’t ask them to tea, Quilp,’ stammered his wife. It’s quite an accident.’ ‘So much the better, Mrs Quilp; these accidental parties are always the pleasantest,’ said the dwarf, rubbing his hands so hard that he seemed to be engaged in manufacturing, of the dirt with which they were encrusted, little charges for popguns. ‘What! Not going, ladies, you are not going, surely!’ His fair enemies tossed their heads slightly as they sought their respective bonnets and shawls, but left all verbal contention to Mrs Jiniwin, who finding herself in the position of champion, made a faint struggle to sustain the character. ‘And why not stop to supper, Quilp,’ said the old lady, ‘if my daughter had a mind?’ ‘To be sure,’ rejoined Daniel. ‘Why not?’ ‘There’s nothing dishonest or wrong in a supper, I hope?’ said Mrs Jiniwin. ‘Surely not,’ returned the dwarf. ‘Why should there be? Nor anything unwholesome, either, unless there’s lobster-salad or prawns, which I’m told are not good for digestion.’ ‘And you wouldn’t like your wife to be attacked with that, or anything else that would make her uneasy would you?’ said Mrs Jiniwin. ‘Not for a score of worlds,’ replied the dwarf with a grin. ‘Not even to have a score of mothers-in-law at the same time — and what a blessing that would be!’ ‘My daughter’s your wife, Mr Quilp, certainly,’ said the old lady with a giggle, meant for satirical and to imply that he needed to be reminded of the fact; ‘your wedded wife.’ ‘So she is, certainly. So she is,’ observed the dwarf. ‘And she has has a right to do as she likes, I hope, Quilp,’ said the old lady trembling, partly with anger and partly with a secret fear of her impish son-in-law. ‘Hope she has!’ he replied. ‘Oh! Don’t you know she has? Don’t you know she has, Mrs Jiniwin? ‘I know she ought to have, Quilp, and would have, if she was of my way of thiniking.’ ‘Why an’t you of your mother’s way of thinking, my dear?’ said the dwarf, turing round and ad-
dressing his wife, ‘why don’t you always imitate your mother, my dear? She’s the ornament of her sex — your father said so every day of his life. I am sure he did.’ ‘Her father was a blessed creetur, Quilp, and worthy twenty thousand of some people,’ said Mrs Jiniwin; ‘twenty hundred million thousand.’ ‘I should like to have known him,’ remarked the dwarf. ‘I dare say he was a blessed creature then; but I’m sure he is now. It was a happy release. I believe he had suffered a long time?’ The old lady gave a gasp, but nothing came of it; Quilp resumed, with the same malice in his eye and the same sarcastic politeness on his tongue. ‘You look ill, Mrs Jiniwin; I know you have been exciting yourself too much — talking perhaps, for it is your weakness. Go to bed. Do go to bed.’ ‘I shall go when I please, Quilp, and not before.’ ‘But please to do now. Do please to go now,’ said the dwarf. The old woman looked angrily at him, but retreated as he advanced, and falling back before him, suffered him to shut the door upon her and bolt her out among the guests, who were by this time crowding downstairs. Being left along with his wife, who sat trembling in a corner with her eyes fixed upon the ground, the little man planted himself before her, and folding his arms looked steadily at her for a long time without speaking. ‘Mrs Quilp,’ he said at last. ‘Yes, Quilp,’ she replead meekly. Instead of pursing the theme he had in his mind, Quilp folded his arms again, and looked at her more sternly than before, while she averted her eyes and kept them on the ground. ‘Mrs Quilp.’ ‘Yes, Quilp.’ ‘If ever you listen to these beldames again, I’ll bite you.’ With this laconic threat, which he accompanied with a snarl that gave him the appearance of being particularly in earnest, Mr Quilp bade her clear the teaboard away, and bring the rum. The spirit being set before him in a huge case-bottle, which had originally come out of some ship’s locker, he settled himself in an arm-chair with his large head and face squeezed up against the back, and his little legs planted on the table. ‘Now, Mrs Quilp,’ he said; ‘I feel in a smoking
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humour, and shall probably blaze away all night. But sit where you are, if you please, in case I want you.’ His wife returned no other reply than the necessary ‘Yes, Quilp,’ and the small lord of the creation took his first cigar and mixed his first glass of grog. The sun went down and the stars peeped out, the Tower turned from its own proper colours to grey and from grey to black, the room became perfectly dark and the end of the cigar a deep fiery red, but still Mr Quilp went on smoking and drinking in the same position, and staring listlessly out of window with the doglike smile always on his face, save when Mrs Quilp made some involuntary movement of restlessness or fatigue; and then it expanded into a grin of delight.
CHAPTER 5 Whether Mr Quilp took any sleep by snatches of a few winks at a time, or whether he sat with his eyes wide open all night long, certain it is that he kept his cigar alight, and kindled every fresh one from the ashes of that which was nearly consumed, without requiring the assistance of a candle. Nor did the striking of the clocks, hour after hour, appear to inspire him with any sense of drowsiness or any natural desire to go to rest, but rather to increase his wakefulness, which he showed, at every such indication of the progress of the night, by a suppressed cackling in his throat, and a motion of his shoulders, like one who laughs heartily but the same time slyly and by stealth. At length the day broke, and poor Mrs Quilp, shivering with cold of early morning and harassed by fatigue and want of sleep, was discovered sitting patiently on her chair, raising her eyes at intervals in mute appeal to the compassion and clemency of her lord, and gently reminding him by an occasion cough that she was still unpardoned and that her penance had been of long duration. But her dwarfish spouse still smoked his cigar and drank his rum without heeding her; and it was not until the sun had some time risen, and the activity and noise of city day were rife in the street, that he deigned to recognize her presence by any word or sign. He might not have done so even then, but for certain impatient tapping at the door he seemed to denote
that some pretty hard knuckles were actively engaged upon the other side. ‘Why dear me!’ he said looking round with a malicious grin, ‘it’s day. Open the door, sweet Mrs Quilp!’ His obedient wife withdrew the bolt, and her lady mother entered. Now, Mrs Jiniwin bounced into the room with great impetuosity; for, supposing her son-in-law to be still a-bed, she had come to relieve her feelings by pronouncing a strong opinion upon his general conduct and character. Seeing that he was up and dressed, and that the room appeared to have been occupied ever since she quitted it on the previous evening, she stopped short, in some embarrassment. Nothing escaped the hawk’s eye of the ugly little man, who, perfectly understanding what passed in the old lady’s mind, turned uglier still in the fulness of his satisfaction, and bade her good morning, with a leer or triumph. ‘Why, Betsy,’ said the old woman, ‘you haven’t been — you don’t mean to say you’ve been a — ’ ‘Sitting up all night?’ said Quilp, supplying the conclusion of the sentence. ‘Yes she has!’ ‘All night?’ cried Mrs Jiniwin. ‘Ay, all night. Is the dear old lady deaf?’ said Quilp, with a smile of which a frown was part. ‘Who says man and wife are bad company? Ha ha! The time has flown.’ ‘You’re a brute!’ exclaimed Mrs Jiniwin. ‘Come come,’ said Quilp, wilfully misunderstanding her, of course, ‘you mustn’t call her names. She’s married now, you know. And though she did beguile the time and keep me from my bed, you must not be so tenderly careful of me as to be out of humour with her. Bless you for a dear old lady. Here’s to your health!’ ‘I am much obliged to you,’ returned the old woman, testifying by a certain restlessness in her hands a vehement desire to shake her matronly fist at her son-in-law. ‘Oh! I’m very much obliged to you!’ ‘Grateful soul!’ cried the dwarf. ‘Mrs Quilp.’ ‘Yes, Quilp,’ said the timid sufferer. ‘Help your mother to get breakfast, Mrs Quilp. I am going to the wharf this morning — the earlier the better, so be quick.’ To Be Continued
Observer Crossword Solution No 24 DR E AME R S S U P E L A OA F R ME A T I E S T P R E O N Z S I R E M B A DGE R R N A I L U H E E D S S AMA T E UR R R E A H B A N A N A A NDR E A S C RO A I R U E S C R EWB A L L B A E A R N A C I D QU I V E R E D A T O U L S C R R E X C I T E D P L A L A L ONC E T T H I S E R P E N T T L E E R I E O P HR A S E E D I N E N D I A L M GR E T E L W OP A Y X ME D A L R K COM P R I C E L N I C E R V S N M I N Y I E L D S V A SW I M S HON S HU N R E I R E E AG L E N H Y B R I D S MOC L N SO Y A A U S C E P T R E I MP S E M N A K EMB I N S CR I B E E E N L I DO L S I D E S T E P S ME N V R O E A V I A T OR B N I O D P E D A N T A L GE R I A R S A V R CR A S H V C E A S E S W OV E N X MA CH R A ME D I A T OR OU T R C A D S E P RUD SWE E T E N S
E R A A C O RO N D S E B E A RG N E Y Y E S GH A E D C E L I P L S I NO GN E K S I E D E E D T R E N T O ND I R S D P A I E N
MA M H E R B I C E A A N S T E E NU D M DU R M B U R D E A D M A I G E P D S Y T C H I I N G S MU O T H H E N R A M E E L C E S E S
N S H I N BON E H E NCHME A S A I E R T E A R A S P ROC L A I M WR E A K I N A I S E K T E R I N W D R D E I T I E S N A L L S E L A NG N O H AGU E U N T URG I NG D P R E C E D T E NN A D L E A D T O K L E A ME L B A M OB L I GE AMS U P E M S I E S R T A UD I O OB S CUR E S DG I NG T URN E N A R E EMP I R E SQU I RR E OR S E O N S U F L P T A S T I E S T E P I T OM I G H R HORN E B OGU L B R A VO C A DGE R N E T A N MOD EM R A I OD E L A T H E R P R A NC R Y U L E E T A K E F E H E R E S R E A D M RO T A R I O U O D H A R EM B N A B RU P T L Y T I T A L D S P L I L I GH T B I S T L E A UN T S OS C A R H I R A N E L I MA H E E A S T L E A S H N R E AGA R T I C C EGGE D F C E DGE A L A RM A S S E R T S R P D MOW S C E G K E ROS E N E I N A N E L I B E D N M D N L L R E GEM I N I EG Y P T I A DD L E R C A N S U E N L O A V A S T A S P A R AGU I E V E S D T N B M S N E P A DR E D D A B B L E GORGE U R A B B I S L L W A D A P T S A CH A I N E I NOR S E AGR E E N S E ME A ND E R E D I GE S A D L E R D M I C E N V S I N J UR I E S OP I N I ON K I R T L E S U E E K S A S S E S S E D P E E R L E S
N I G H T E S T E L L E R S E Y O Y O S N S A Y I N G S S D T E S T S