LESSONS FROM A WORKING GIRL
SOME SAY YOU NEED AN INTERNSHIP TO LEARN,
I DISAGREE.
The following is a collection of cultural insights gained through my various jobs.
BABY SITTER butt and hand wiper june. 00- aug 02
+
free tv
=
free food
$8 per hour untaxed maybe more than I will make after graduation
WORSHIP
every house has a different idol
vs
all parents have strong feelings about how much Jesus and television their children are exposed to.
TIME
concept of time varies from house to house home at 10:00 could mean
a)
9:00
i want to “catch” you raiding my pantry.
b)
10:00 you’re the only one who can handle my kids. i’m scared if i’m late you’ll never babysit again.
c)
11:30
we drank too much wine at dinner and had to take a taxi home.
KFC/A&W cashier/fry cooker sept. 03- aug 03
when forced to wear a homogenizing uniform, personality comes out in the shoes. black loafer- black, easy slip on. “if the boss has them, they must be good.” semi trendy- “If I have to buy work shoes, they might as well look nice.” cheap- “i’m not going to be at this crappy job long. i’ll invest as little as possible.”
STICKERS
motivate workers just like kindergarten, gold stars are used to keep worker morale high.
5 YEARS
at kfc/a&w will make you
a)
A MANAGER
b)
PREGNANT
c)
DIABETIC d) all of the above
SOMETHING you never wanted to know
old meat is shredded at the end of the day and turned into bbq chicken sandwiches for tomorrow
THE OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY professional seater june. 04- sept. 05
=
seating people
selling a home
wobbly tables don’t sell and your customer will always want the table next door, even if it is already sold
THE REGULAR
pain in the ass
comes in twice a week wants you to remember his order got you to bend the rules once and expects it every time thinks he’s special because he’s always here wants his food fast eats slow doesn’t tip eats alone carries newspaper to keep him company
the teenage
COUPLE
on a first date
wants a small booth so they can “accidently� brush arms when reaching for the bread listens to every word you say because they want to look polite infront of their dates never orders drinks, first dates are too expensive to invest in
the
BUSINESS MAN dining with a cause
wears a bluetooth phone in his ear, makes you think he’s talking to you, but really he’s on the phone will ask for the Intel party, he thinks there’s only one doesn’t make small talk doesn’t care what the specials are Tips big, he can expense it wants a large table, more elbow room to discuss business plans
COSTCO
food boxer & cart pusher june 06- sept. 06
+
50 lb dog food bag
=
box
50 lb dog food bag in abox
there will always be someone who wants their dog food boxed.
LARGE
families need as much food as a small business.
=
CART RETURN
most people won’t walk more than five car spaces to return their cart.
PLANNED PARENTHOOD
glorified telemarketer dec. 06- june 07
no pay
+
200 hours of calls recruiting volunteers
= internship title
VOLUNTEERS if 100 sign up, 50 will show up
vs Unless money is invovled, a person’s word is only 50% reliable.
REAL COST
of a free t-shirt
10
=
hours volunteered
10
free t-shirt
=
$79.50
hours volunteered
$79.50
if paid minimum wage
=
cost of free t-shirt
ANSWERING MACHINES
offer a window to a person’s life
4
most commons types of messages hey (pause) = wants to sound witty and smart
prerecorded messaging just giving their number = I don’t like the sound of my voice recorded songs off of the radio = I can’t afford a ringback hello from the whole family = I have a wife and kids, you should be jealous that i’m establish
SKANSKA
marketing intern june 07- sept. 07
+
$10 an hour
=
TRY TO LOOK BUSY
the engineers got interns so the marketing department decided it should too.
POWER
you know you’re in charge when your computer screen doesn’t face the door.
this allows you to play online poker without anyone seeing.
DRIP COFFEE is like cheap beer
=
people drink drip coffee when they can’t handle the day, just like binge drinking.
PRODUCTIVITY golf scores decrease as time with the company increases.
All JOBS = KNOWLEDGE