Em Beihold talks mental health, tour and dancing away depression

The landscape around music and mental health has shifted for the better. As we enter a new age of pop music, singer/songwriters have made these honest and vulnerable topics staples in their music. When talking to friends or family about mental health, sometimes it can be difficult to share those vulnerabilities, and many people turn to music to relate to and find solace in what may seem to be a solitary feeling.

Chatting with Em Beihold felt like chatting with a friend. Our discussion reflected her music, the conversation was honest and real like her lyrics, natural and bright, like the music.

This La La Land native has achieved success and so quickly into her ever growing career. Her first album Egg in the Backseat was released last summer, with a collective 365.8 million streams and includes the smash single “Numb Little Bug”. Collaborating with artists such as GAYLE, Stephen Sanchez, and Eric Nam, Em has cemented herself as a staple to this new decade of pop stars. Opening for acts such as The Jonas Brothers, AJR, and Lewis Capaldi, Em is fresh off her first headlining “Maybe Life is Good Tour” and has much to share about her journey on the road and off and what making music these past few years has meant to her.

How did the remarkable success of “Numb Little Bug” shape your approach to your music career?

I think it was very special that “Numb Little Bug” did what it did so quickly and I feel extremely grateful for it. I also think a lot happened before I was even ready to know who I was, you know? I feel like being an artist there’s a lot of groundwork that needs to be laid and a lot of assurance; kind of who you are as an artist, what your visuals are, your branding, and stuff like that.

I feel like that’s something that’s been catching up to the level that “Numb Little Bug” brought me to, which has been a journey I’m very grateful to be on but definitely different dealing with the virality of the song.

A lot of your music, not just “Numb Little Bug”, touch on the topic of mental health and self discovery. I feel like that really has become part of your brand.

Yeah, definitely. Writing music has always been my form of journaling ever since I was very young. So even before I knew people were going to listen to it it was just sort of the way I would sort through emotions.

How do you hope your songs resonate with listeners with similar experiences with self discovery and mental health?

I hope that my songs help people feel less alone. I feel like sometimes I have conversations with people my age and we’re kind of you know, close to college when the pandemic happened. Structure is gone in our lives, we’re very confused and even if you’re doing what you want it’s just like life feels very different. The pressure feels very different and growing into adulthood is hard for everybody. Sometimes when I’m having these conversations I’m thinking of songs that I wrote that I want them to hear because I feel like it proves that they’re not alone and we’re all feeling similar things at this stage in our lives. I have some friends that are working high up jobs and they thought achieving a high level of success would make them happy but it doesn’t necessarily. I think it’s sad that so many people feel that way but also kind of cool to realize that all these intense feelings you have aren’t only in you. I try to do that with your music.

In terms of your music, you’ve been able to blend the stuff that we’ve been talking about now – heavier life things – with upbeat melodies and lyrics. How do you find that balance between catchy melodies and meaningful lyrics?

It’s not even a balance I seem to find, it’s kind of my natural way of songwriting. When I was writing “Numb Little Bug”, I wasn’t like “Let’s make this sound happy” it just kind of poured out like that. But I would say I have a lot of influence from Regina Spector and Sara Barilles as well and they have a lot to do with my writing style. And again, music has always been my form of journaling so I think the way those meet is how I write.

I think something that’s also been kind of interesting about this headline tour that I’m on currently is how diverse the audience is. There’s a lot of little girls who I think just like the music but they don’t necessarily know the depth of the emotion it talks about. And then there’s like, college kids and people in their forties and up who actually relate to the lyrics of the songs. It’s kind of funny to see the different responses because some people are there because they’ve dealt with severe anxiety and some people are there because they want to dance. I think that’s kind of a cool thing!

A lot of parents have told me “My daughter started listening to you first and then I started listening and we’re fans for different reasons.” You know, you see the parents also dancing. They don’t look dismayed, they look like they’re having a good time and I just think that’s cool.

What has been your favorite memory from being on tour so far?

Ooh. Honestly, I’ve loved all of the VIP experiences and getting to have a little Q and A with the fans and talk to them. Because it feels like, in some ways, we’re just friends. Like it’s not nerves or anything. Just hearing about them, talking has felt very fulfilling. And also to go to any city and have that experience feels very surreal and crazy. I think what’s been really fun about the shows is this tour is the first time I haven’t really experienced any stage fright. For the first time, I feel like I’m just having fun whereas before, hours of energy before the show it would just be extreme nerves. This time it feels weird because I’m not using so much energy on being nervous. Something feels wrong here but in a good way!

You can put your energy into really showing up! And your presence is enough.

Yeah! I think in many ways, this tour has kind of taught me that I am enough as I am. Because I’m the type of person who really looks for all the things I’m not. I’m an introvert. I’ve never been a person who wants attention at any party or in school so to be the person onstage is kind of a funny job for me. But I feel like, on this tour I’ve accepted who I am and they like who I am and that’s felt really cool.

Also just having them sing back lyrics to me is, especially for songs that are, for instance, I have this ukulele song called “Pedestal” and I mean, when I open for people they only know “Numb Little Bug” really. But having people sing the “Pedestal” lyrics back to me is such a cool

experience because when I wrote that I never imagined this scenario. So that’s been awesome. As far as something silly, after the DC show, my crew and I went to Lincoln, to go see Lincoln at the memorial. And my friends who does merch, her name is Lea, she was doing the Houdini dance and I was just rolling around in the background and it was just kind of like all our delirious states of everyone on the crew merged and we just started crying laughing and we had a great time!

I want to ask you a little bit about your Active Minds donation, specifically the dollar-perticket. How did you start working with them?

I think I discovered Active Minds through social media and immediately followed and DM’d them and was just like “How can we partner, because we have the same mission and I love what you guys are doing”. They also focus on mental health resources on college campuses but also on their website. Like I’m 25 and I was finding resources myself and reading things that I found very helpful for mental health. I was their keynote speaker at their last conference and did a little performance and it’s just been a very great partnership and I love working with them. So far we’ve made over $10,000 which is awesome! They had a table at every show, starting in Denver they’ve tabled since. I think also what’s interesting is they’ve told me a lot of teachers come to the show and will talk to them. I think it’s cool that teachers want to learn more about how to support their students’ mental wellness.

Music has a reach that goes beyond the classroom or beyond your parents talking to you about it. Where there is anonymity to it. If I go to a concert, nobody cares if I do or don’t stop at this table. It’s just nice to do for yourself.

That’s such a good point. I feel like my crowd is very bonded by struggling with similar things with exception to the young girls who haven’t

gotten there yet. But it’s like, it’s true. I want people to make friends at that table and they’re not judging each other.

Mental health was always a little taboo, unfortunately. Talking about it now feels good and right. Even in a concert setting where people want to let loose and have fun, do you know the music that you’re dancing to? Do you know the message behind it? When everybody’s in that room for the same reason, why not make it a good reason.

I always say “dance to your depression”.

What is your favorite song to dance to when you’re up there?

“Egg In The Backseat” is fun because I get everyone jumping, we all jump together. And for a moment, my kind of chill show feels like a rave and I think that’s fun. But also just hearing how loudly they scream “Numb Little Bug” is always an incredible moment every night. There’s an unreleased song called Lottery that’s my favorite to play. I forgot about it before but basically Lottery is about how we always tell ourselves ‘I’ll be happy when’, ‘I’ll be happy when I have this thing, when I’m more successful, when I have more friends, when I live here’ but something I’ve learned from the success of “Numb Little Bug” is I’ve kind of reached a success point beyond what I mentally planned for with my music. And honestly, the roughest mental health phases that I’ve gone through has followed that success. So Lottery is sort of about how you can have everything but internally you kind of have nothing and that the work has to be internally to truly be happy. It’s also just like, as a song, the hardest I ever sang. There’s this big, belty, huge section and normally I’m uncomfortable belting so it really feels like I’m baring my soul but in a way that’s my favorite song that I’ve written.

Is that a song where, when you’re standing there, onstage, because the audience doesn’t know it yet, is it even more special? Does it give you a different feeling than all the other songs?

Yeah, I’m playing piano during it so I haven’t even truly read the audiences’ reaction, I’m kind of going hard on the piano. It’s just a pinnacle in the set, musically. It’s like the biggest song I have, musically.

You said that with Lottery, there’s a kind off mental preparation you had to prepare for in terms of your success. Shooting forward, with the amount of traction your songs gained, you had also gained opportunities like opening for the Jonas Brothers, AJR. What did opening for these shows teach you about finding yourself, and your sound in front of a large audience.

Just playing live shows in general has informed the music I’m making a little bit because I used to write a lot of bouncy piano but onstage, it’s not the easiest for people to move to. It’s not like I’m letting the live aspect get in the way but it has informed what kind of music I want for live shows. But also, I don’t know. I think I needed a lot of exposure to moments where I’d be terrified and after you have enough exposure you kind of become…I don’t want to say numb to it, because that sounds emotionless. But you get more used to it. Like, I remember my first tour, the first stop was in Dallas and it was 300 people and in my head I was like ‘Okay, that’s not that big’ and then I saw 300 people and it was like ‘Oh my god! No way.’ And some of these shows are 700 and I really feel like completely comfortable but I had to go through that experience to get there. So, I told my manager ‘I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the stage fright’ and he was like ‘Give it 100 shows’ and I was like ‘A hundred?!’ But at this point I’ve probably played 100 shows and he was right.

It goes so quickly, the way they start adding up and two, three tours later you’ve already gone cross country or up and down each coastline and it happens so quickly. The moments that you had told me with your crew, and having the moments in the VIP section they’re able to literally ground you and give you that presence that sometimes you lose after 100, 200, 300 shows.

Totally.

Yeah! I mean it’s also like, I have so much fun doing the shows but it’s also like we’ve done it at this point twenty one nights, not directly in a row but it’s sort of…feels almost robotic. There’s not a lot that changes so it is really important to have some moments to change it up. Or also like in VIP, where they ask different questions it’s very exciting!

For the future, looking ahead, do you have any goals or aspirations?

I’m still a bit in a phase of self discovery musically I will say. I spent a lot of last year working with probably a hundred different people trying to find the crew and who I make music with and I’m still kind of narrowing that down. Something I’m working on is not rushing myself because I think I felt the pressure of ‘I need more music out’, you know my EP came out in 2022 and I like it but I just feel like I’ve grown since the music I’m performing every night. And so, I think just trying to find my flow, trying to make music that I love obviously, but it’s been a process trying to get there. One day I would love to play SNL but there’s no time pressure on that for me.