Cosette Fitzgerald Speaks

Give Yourself theTime You Need

The in-person commencement audience and those streaming the ceremony were deeply touched by the address delivered by valedictorian Cosette Fitzgerald. Many asked to read it again so they could savor each word. Here, we reproduce that moving talk in its entirety.

Hello, friends, family, and classmates. This year has been complicated, to put it mildly. Right now, it is a time of celebration as much as it is a time of solemn reflection. We have all worked so hard to get to this point. Studying, managing jobs, taking care of loved ones, all while facing a terrifying, devastating pandemic. Despite all these obstacles, we have made our way to graduation, and we should be proud of that. Not only have we been collectively enduring this pandemic anxiety and trauma, but we are also shouldering the inequities and injustices that have existed long before it. It’s made me think about what I’ve been dealing with ever since I was a little kid. You see, I am autistic, always have been. You probably don’t see that in me because I was given many services early in my life to help me adapt to a non-autistic world. It’s helped me gain a better sense of self-awareness, make long-lasting friendships, and get to where I am now. I have accomplished so much. And while I am forever grateful for all that love and support, it came at a price. In this society, I was taught that I was seeing the world wrong – missing things like social cues or unspoken rules that people like to call “common sense.” It led me to believe that I had a blind spot in my brain, so how could I trust myself? How could I have confidence in anything I thought or felt or perceived? And I say this while thinking about this country’s vaccination campaign, knowing that some people are refusing to vaccinate because they erroneously believe vaccines give children autism. How can I fully love myself when I know I am someone’s worst fear, when people think it would have been better for my parents or for me if I never existed? So, for all this time, I have struggled to see my strengths and recognize my accomplishments. I still sometimes quietly believe that I am a little broken. I don’t always see how my autism has made me a better person in many ways. I would like to say I’m hardworking, open-minded, passionate. I have had to work tirelessly to own my worth and to know I am successful because I am autistic, not in spite of it. I am saying all of this because if there’s anything this past year has taught us, it’s that we don’t see what others are going through. Insecurities and traumas, economic anxieties, the fears of how outsiders are going to view us and may not recognize our humanity. We are all under a ton of pressure, and that is compounded by the pressure to find our futures. We are asked at such a young age, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As if that is so simple. No one can know who they are or what they need so quickly, even as we are graduating. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the time you need to figure out what you want in life. And so much can change in just a short amount of time, especially right now, so be flexible and open-minded. Grab any opportunity that feels right for you in this moment. There is no rush to find the perfect job or a perfect life. If there’s anything all of us need, it’s that we should take care of ourselves. We have all been dealing with so much stress and trauma during this pandemic, and we haven’t been given enough time to process it. Do whatever you need to cultivate the love and support you have always deserved. At the same time, use what energy and privilege you have to help others, even in small ways. We have seen how Black, Brown, Indigenous, and Asian communities have been oppressed and silenced time and time again, because people care more about the status quo and property over human lives. We see that our disabled peers aren’t getting the care they need and are treated as inconveniences for wanting to live. We see how lowincome and unhoused communities are struggling to get resources that should be basic human rights. We must do what we can to help them and hold those in power accountable for their promises. But we can’t do any of that without helping ourselves first. Don’t forget to love each other. Don’t forget to love yourselves. Your minds and bodies are wonderful just as they are. You are not broken. Thank you.