Tantra and self-love

TANTRA

& SELF-LOVE

By Angie Hallsworth King

When practising Tantra, we endeavour to come from a place of love whether that be with others or with self. The term ‘Self-love’ can evoke many feelings, it’s a mental choice between the two polarities of positive or negative depending on how you perceive its meaning. We have been taught that maintaining youthfulness is paramount, coupled with negativity around antiaging products, facial and body filters. It’s about time we embraced ourselves in all our glorious femininity.

There are no right or wrong ways of making yourself feel good, there are lots of amazing guidance in this magazine and we should choose to love ourselves wholeheartedly. What if though, you’re doing everything you can physically but when you look in the mirror you still dislike the inevitable changes Menopause brings? Tantra can teach us about self-love in a new, joyful and carefree way. Should we not, as caregivers, give ourselves the same loving kindness we afford to others and see ourselves as others do?

As we enter the 3rd stage of our lives, I find lots of women do not seem to see themselves as sexy or desirable anymore because of physical changes. Our boobs are less pert, our tummy a little rounder and we see our wrinkles as undesirable instead of a sign of wisdom and a life lived. The negativity perpetuated around ageing can be a major cause of withdrawal from sexual intimacy. What would happen if we embraced these changes wholeheartedly? In truth we cannot stop time, so why not step into the now, seeing the beauty within which shines outwardly so we can truly embrace life with an attitude of a feminine goddess! The outcome of this journey of self-love? No more struggling, a calmer peaceful life, joyful fun and when the time is right, even mind-blowing sexual energy!

How would you like to feel and experience confidence and resilience from every pore of your very amazing body?

Tantra invites you to become aware of the identities you hold of yourself, acknowledgement of your thoughts both dark (negative) and light (positive) without concealing them, then accepting and embracing with love and grace the truth as you start to look at yourself through the eyes of love, then the transformation self-love brings.

The practices I’m about to guide you through will help you wake up to your true identity, to see yourself in love and non-judgement. This inner work can be a positive gateway into your own acknowledgement of your truest, deepest nature, beyond the visual identities you may have held for so long. Eye gazing isn’t just to be experienced with someone else, it’s important we perform this wonderful age-old practise on ourselves. The old saying ‘the eyes are the windows to the soul’ never held a truer meaning, as in this beautiful tradition of looking deeply into your soul with loving-kindness. How to practice - Exercise 1

Get comfy in front of a mirror, start to stare into your eyes. Look past the features of your face. Hold no expectations as you continue to gaze, thoughts may come up but keep going. You may find it evokes feelings like crying or laughing, don’t let that put you off, you are now on the precipice of the greatest journey so embrace it and let them just flow.

This should be practised every day until you feel relaxed and happy. Hopefully, you will reach a sense of awe at your own true brilliance shining out.

Body acceptance - Exercise 2

After you’ve practised exercise 1 and feel comfortable in doing so, however long that takes, move to either sitting or lying down fully clothed. With your eyes closed create some warmth by rubbing your hands together gently, softly touching your fingers moving all around both hands then up your arms taking your time, there is no need to rush. Move to the shoulders and your neck, then stroke the whole face, not missing your ears. Stroke every bit of your skin, experience every sensation your skin is sending to your brain. Skin is an amazing network of nerves creating sensations to embrace and experience. Again, let the feelings flow whatever they may be but keep going, this is your own personal journey and should feel great.

Move your hands down to your abdomen let them rest a while as you breathe deeply. As before with the upper body gently stroke your tummy, your waist then up the sides of your body and just flow. Finish by resting with your hands on your tummy and focusing on your breath. Then it’s important to give thanks for YOU in all your radiance, to this moment, this breath and the gift of self-love.

Looking forward to bringing you to more intimacy. In Love and Happiness