R.A.T. IS BACK TO TICKLE YOUR FUNNY BONER
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MAY 14, 2009 MAY 27, 2009
WITCH HUNT MOVIE’S REAL-LIFE NIGHTMARE
311ROCK SOLID From barnyards to arenas, there’s no stopping Cali’s adopted sons from Omaha
The Kern County Hispanic Chamber of Commerce presents
Latino Food Festival & 11th Annual Menudo Cook-Off Entertainment by: The “Latin Legends”
Tierra
El Chicano
Sunday June 7th • 11am - 6pm Kern County Fairgrounds 1142 South P Street •Bakersfield, CA $8/Advance • $10/At The Door CHILDREN UNDER 5 FREE
Menudo Contest and Thee Midniters Local Latin Legends - Mento Buru Mariachi Juvenil de Aztlan
1st Prize = $500 2nd Prize = $300 3rd Prize = $200 Best Decorated Booth 1st 2nd 3rd Place Trophies
For Information On Getting Your Business Involved As A Sponsor or Vendor Call The Kern County Hispanic Chamber of Commerce at (661) 633-5495
Jalapeno & Ice Cream Eating Contest! Food Booths • Live Entertainment • Vendor Booths • Kid's Entertainment
BAKOTOPIA Tables 4 Fun
BAKOTOPIA STAFF
EDITORIAL Olivia Garcia Publisher ogarcia@bakersfield.com 395-7487 Matt Muñoz Editor/Product Manager mmunoz@bakersfield.com 395-7660 Gene Garaygordobil Managing Editor garaygordobil@bakersfield.com Teresa Adamo Associate Editor tadamo@bakersfield.com
ART Kent Kuehl Designer kkuehl@bakersfield.com
ADVERTISING Jaime De Los Santos Sales Manager jdelossantos@bakersfield.com 716-8632 David Alanis Sales Executive Katie Blair Sales Executive Gustavo Carrillo Sales Executive Angela Espinoza Sales Executive Samantha Vilchis Sales Executive Mark Wells Sales Executive
W
E D I TO R ’ S N OT E
hen it comes to the soundtrack of summer, the music of 311 is a priority. From their humble beginnings in Omaha, Nebraska, to packing up on a wish and a prayer to the concrete jungle of LA, the band’s sacrifice has paid off. Back in the mid-’90s it wasn’t rare to see 311 on the same bill as No Doubt and KORN. It was a time for free-flowing and genre bending playlists on the radio and the tube, before the MTV-reality show takeover. From rock, reggae, to hip-hop, 311 have always brought it heavy and happening. Hybrid art styles and sticking to your musical roots will always lead to success, and was the case in all three aforementioned bands. But the coolest thing - two of them are coming to town - No Doubt on May 20, and 311 on June 3! Enter to win 311 tix at: www.bakotopia.com until May 29! At Bakotopia we do it the same way. In this issue we have a review of the “Witch Hunt” screening at The Fox. Talk about breaking the 9th Commandment? Some people are owed some major apologies! Plus R.A.T. is back and so much more. Check out photos from the Bakersfield Festival of Beers and more at: www.bakotopia.com/seen. Thanks to our supporters and advertisers who keep these pages free for you and yours!
Peace,
OFFICE Marisol Sorto Office Administrator msorto@bakersfield.com 716-8640
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PHOTO BY NL BELARDES
Above: Many of the victims, along with lawyers and the filmmakers made an appearance at the Fox and participated in a Q&A session.
“Witch Hunt” hits home Actor Sean Penn makes local appearance, slams DA Ed Jagels in the process on 4/28 By NL Belardes / Face News, Bakotopia.com contributor
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scar-winning actor Sean Penn, documentary filmmakers, and a host of formerly accused child molesters whose convictions in the mid-’80s were later overturned, were at the Bakersfield Fox Theater on Tuesday, April 28 for a screening of, “Witch Hunt.” The film chronicles the lives of several exonerated families and their past ordeals as they faced Bakersfield’s justice system, and get wrongly convicted and separated from their children. The film alleges that children’s testimonies were coerced by Kern County officials and evidence was withheld that could have earlier exonerated those falsely convicted. “I got involved because of a great BAKOTOPIA 4
friend of mine who lost his life on Flight 93,” said Penn, who narrated the film. He added that through related 9/11 memorial events he met the filmmakers of “Witch Hunt,” and that his deceased friend had spoke highly of the filmmakers and their movie and it was a privilege to have been a part of the film. There were audible gasps from audience members as the film revealed convictions that in numerous cases added up to hundreds of years of placed upon single individuals. As the film progressed, some in the audience yelled out against the Kern County justice system and at District Attorney Ed Jagels. There was a standing ovation as the film ended and those exonerated entered the stage, including Jeff Modahl, Marcella and Rick Pitts, Brenda and Scott Kniffen, John Stoll
and others. During a question-and-answer session, people in the audience voiced their anger at the past child molestation convictions and questioned why DA Jagels consistently runs unopposed in local elections. One of the formerly accused just held out his hands as if similarly baffled, while filmmaker Dana Nachman said, “Does anyone here know who can run against him?” One person from the audience yelled out prosecutor Lisa Green’s name (it’s been reported she is running against Jagels in 2010), and at that, many in the audience let out a groan. The film portrayed Green as a prosecutor willing to attack the integrity of those who once testified against the formerly accused, who recanted statements made during the ‘80s trials. Penn also took a verbal jab at
Jagels just after stepping onto the stage. “Sorry, I was distracted. I was reading Ed Jagel’s wife’s complaints against him,” he joked. Despite it’s serious intent, one problem with the film “Witch Hunt” by filmmakers Don Hardy and Dana Nachman, and narrated by Penn, is its simple-minded approach to its portrayal of Bakersfield. Opening scenes of modern day oil wells and churches seemed unnecessary stereotypes as the documentary illuminated the area as simply an oilrich, God-fearing city. The idea that Bakersfield is a multicultural city, complete with various industries, academic institutions and more was completely ignored. What oilfields have to do with child molestation trials is an odd sort of connection that was never explained. The film however does a good job
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May 14, 2009
of telling the stories of broken lives, society’s sexual predator fears as it banks on emotional reactions to the documentary’s air of “justice gone wrong.” Kern County Sheriff Donny Youngblood in the film doesn’t appear apologetic, as he says interrogations of children in the mid-‘80s should had been conducted in a different manner. He infers that a different method of sheriff’s department interrogations would have led to molestations and satanic ritual convictions and no exonerations. “I think we have to set a precedent and a deterrent for the kind of behavior [and] the prosecutorial abuse that happened in this case,” Penn said as he spoke about accountability related to the child molestation accusations. After the screening of “Witch Hunt” a woman stood up, saying her father was a Kern County sheriff’s deputy during the mid-1980s. She claimed that at the time he was reassigned for speaking out against sheriff’s departCOURTESY PHOTO ment procedures. She apoloAbove: John Stoll’s ‘85 gized in behalf of her father arrest mugshot to those exonerated and their families. When asked what some of the exonerated thought of the film, John Stoll spoke up. Referring to the standing ovation at the end of the film, he said, “We feel the same about the movie that you did.” Witch Hunt is available on DVD. www.witchhuntmovie.com
PHOTO BY NL BELARDES
Above: Actor Sean Penn, who narrated the film, addresses the crowd at The Fox on April 28.
Do you have legal questions? Email us at greenelaw@arrival.net
Rodrigo H., Bakersfield, California
Q:
I got pulled over and the police found a joint in my car. They gave me a ticket. What should I do?
T ru s t w ort h y r e p r e s e n tat ion
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A: Possession of less than an ounce of marijuana is a misdemeanor punishable as an infraction. You can only get a fine and not jail time. You could just take the fine and get it over with. The court or D.A. might also offer you a counseling program, which, if you complete it, would result in the dismissal of the charges. Or you could consult with a Public Defender or private attorney to see if your rights were violated during the stop, which could result in the evidence being suppressed and the case dismissed.
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Comedy Infestation Oh No! R.A.T. comedy returns to The Empty Space - May 15 & 16! By Sam Jaime, Bakotopia.com contributor
T
he Empty Space Theater is about to pack out again. Not for one of its beautiful plays or electric musical acts. No, for the unique brand of comedy that could be owned by only one act. That’s right; it’s time again for the R.A.T. show, May 15 and 16! If you haven’t experienced the show, you are long overdue. The dollar beers will be flowing and the familiar seats of the The Empty Space, 706 Oak St., will fill-up. Doors open at 11 p.m., so put the children to bed, feed your pets, and check out the show! Formed in 2003, the Royal Association of Thespians now has well over 13 shows notched, not to mention a brilliant cast, and superb writing. They bring with each of them a comedic quality that only grows in value as the shows progress. Each show brings out the best of them, which is infectious within the cast. They have incredible chemistry, and work so naturally together in fact, there are times it feels more like watching a film rather than a theatre performance. Each cast member has acting talent, which is apparent within every character drawn up and acted out within the half dozen or so skits. A RAT show generally is comprised of Matt Fredrickson, David Lee Rock, Heyzeus Sands, Morgan S. Troy, Maurice Putnum, Dallas, Heather Witcher, Katie Bell, Scott Bao, Alison Martini, Deva Wiloth, Matt Christensen, James Kopp and Eric Bracamonte. The show has been locally renowned BAKOTOPIA 6
for its ability to bring an entire audience into the experience through the use of silly string, and as always the entire audience sings along to the instant favorite, “Dollar Beer Song.” The show is aimed at being as offensive as possible in the glorious claim of artistic expression, often displaying a comical flair to some disturbingly possible situations. They poke fun at characters they have crafted throughout the years, using anything and everything in their vast repertoire of slurs and props to get the job done. Yet, even with the use of familiar characters the shows remain fresh and always evolve into new areas. Within the last few years alone, they have incorporated new video and music technologies into the act to add to the possibilities of exploring new characters and expanding ones already beloved. The R.A.T. show is very zany and offensive on the surface, but there is definitely more to the act than just the racial jokes or the constant guys versus girls debacle. This show is based around the hard work of a devoted cast, all of which work day jobs. The cast is constantly practicing, months in advance to perfect the delivery, timing, and positioning of each skit. For a single skit alone, running for five or six minutes, the cast could spend upwards of two to three hours, script in hand, maneuvering like pieces on a chessboard. They have a serious approach to their craft, always evolving as purveyors of comedy, personifying lifeless print into hilarious creatures, drawing laughter and love from every patron seated within the Empty Space. Despite the aforementioned legacy, the upcoming RAT show this May is to be their biggest yet. Believers can expect everything from song and dance to gorgeous nudity to foot the bill. This show promises to be nothing short of legendary within the ranks of the RAT shows many fans. It has the heat turned up as the skits become more intricate and the laughter becomes louder.
The R.A.T. show -May 15 & 16 -11 p.m. / Mature audiences only -The Empty Space, 706 Oak St. (next to Pizzaville) -327-7529
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May 14, 2009
Get in where you fit in How to get your stuff in Bakotopia magazine Helpful tips...
By Matt Munoz Bakotopia Editor
Follow these steps and you are in, it’s so easy! The web is buzzing with good stories and blogs about everyday life in Bakersfield and the surrounding areas, and readers want you to share! 1) Get your ideas together: a story, event, photos, band, show, food review ANYTHING FLOATING AROUND YOUR MIND & COMMUNITY IS COOL! 2) Start writing to your heart’s content! 3) 400-500 words will do, but if you’re on a roll, keep writing, or if it’s short and sweet, go ahead and submit it online or via e-mail! 4) Don’t worry about being the best writer out there - we’ll help you with editing. 5) Make sure to include a high-res photo or graphic to accompany your piece. If you don't have one, we'll find one for you!
Get your stuff in before deadlines so we can make adjustments, if necessary! Events posted on www.bakotopia.com get priority placement in the print calendar! Sign-up for your free profile at www.bakotopia.com, to get regular e-blasts about upcoming happenings, news flashes, contests, and more to stay in the loop! 10,000-print readers, over 7,000+ registered web users, 100,000+ monthly web views can’t be wrong! Wanna advertise with Bako? Best rates in town, call: 661-716-8640 If you have any ideas or feedback, or need some help with story development, give me a shout anytime!
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Musical Roots 311’s S.A. Martinez keeps life in order one jam at a time - live in Bako, June 3! By Matt Munoz, Bakotopia Editor
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11 are a long way from Omaha, Nebraska. The hugely popular reggae rock quintet of: Nick Hexum - vocals, Doug “S.A.” Martinez - vocals / DJ, Aaron “P-Nut” Wills - bass, Tim Mahoney - guitar, and Chad Sexton drums, have become synonymous with summer parties since they left the farm to re-plant their roots firmly into California soil and beaches back in ‘92. Returning to rock Bakersfield on Wednesday, June 3, at the Bakersfield Fox, at 8 p.m., the band is primed for a big return to radio and more importantly - house parties across the country. Most fans might recall an introduction to 311’s music with the band’s self-titled ‘95 breakout CD, aka the “Blue” album and hits like “Down” and “All Mixed Up.” That disc would open the floodgates for the endless 311 summer. Consistently kicking out hit after hit for loyal audiences from Cali to Maine, 331 is a “fan’s band”, staying on the radar with original music, plus the occasional cover tune. Their version of The Cure’s “Love Song” recorded for the Adam Sandler ‘04 comedy, “50 First Dates,” became an instant hit on both radio and MTV. Now celebrating more than 20 years together, and an impressive recording catalog (9 studio albums, one live recording,) the band is ready to unleash their 11th full-length CD on June 2. Titled, “Uplifter,” the band is confident about another big year. Bakotopia spoke with 311’s Martinez, 39, viatelephone from his SoCal home for a look back at the band’s early days, and the importance of staying true to your roots. When I first discovered 311 with “Grassroots” in ‘94, I immediately assumed you were a California band stylistically, not from Nebraska. What’s the Omaha music scene like? M: When we were starting in Omaha, in the early ‘90s, there was a really vibrant scene happening. We were one of about a dozen bands making some local waves. There was a friendly atmosphere of “one-upmanship,” trying to have the best show possible and bringing in the most people. Back then, the Internet really wasn’t around, and there weren’t any social networking sites around. I’m sure there were a lot of scenes happening like that around the country, but Omaha
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was cool, and had great places to play at. We even created spaces to play at - there’s a lot of farms in Nebraska where you can set-up and have a nice party. What were those early days like - moving to LA, the struggles, and then the fame - 311 is one of the hottest band’s around? It was an interesting process. After we had just moved to LA in ‘92, we started going to the clubs there and got exposed to a lot of the cool dancehall (reggae music’) and hip-hop that was coming out and really taking to that. We moved into one house, having never lived together up to that point, then we’re thrust all together into one space. We had a ritual everyday where we were practicing at noon for an hour everyday. We got gigs around LA. At the same time, we were nurturing this relationship we were having with a few labels to get signed. We landed our record deal in February of ‘92, and our record came out in ‘93. So there was a lot going on at that point. Looking back, we didn't “blowup” or have a huge single at all from the first record. So that really allowed us to tour around and just gather a following based off of the live show. People wanted to see us through word of mouth and not through something that they’d been hearing on the radio a billion times. So, we were lucky in that sense - it was a real natural growth period for a new band. 311’s music embodies the whole “California” vibe, laid back, attitude. M: Yeah, especially when you look back at all of our early influences - Fishbone, the Chili Peppers, and a lot of the punk bands from SoCal, went into the aesthetic of what made 311. Moving here definitely shaped us in different ways, then had we stayed in Omaha or have gone east. Different sensibilities, musically, it just feels better. I’ll take Southern California any day over Omaha. (laughs) What’s a 311 writing session like? There’s some collaboration, and individual songwriting. But at the end of the day, everyone adds their own element to a song. Everyone’s got an unmistakably distinct flavor, and that’s what really makes great bands. It’s a combination of great talent and trying things out and common ground to
311 - LIVE! Wednesday, June 3 Fox Theater 8pm / $35 www.vallitix.com 322-5200 Win FREE TIX at:
www.bakotopia.com From left to right: 311’s Tim Mahoney, Chad Sexton, Nick Hexum, Aaron Wills, S.A. Martinez PHOTO COURTESY OF 311
agree - great communication. How has the band adjusted to a different music industry & economy, compared to the “Blue” album period of ‘95? M: For us, over time it’s only gotten better. We have a new album coming out, and it’s deepening our catalog right there. Our catalog is deep to begin with. In ‘96, ‘97, I remember listening to some radio shows online and I though that was cool. That was a different time period - before big Internet impact on sales of records and just presence online anyway. Literally baby stages, there wasn’t YouTube, etc… Even with travelling. Just today we were talking about, “What would life be without our laptops, and cell phones, on the road?” Back then, once you got to the venue, you immediately went to the production office because they had the phone there. We used to cram around the phone. cell phones were around, but they were prevalent. Now, they’re everywhere. There’s so much that has blown up. It’s a whole new world.
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May 14, 2009
Tell us about the new 311 album coming out on June 2? M: Working with producer Bob Rock (Metallica, The Offspring), has given new life to the band. The other day I was listening to some of the other records. I hadn’t listened to ‘93s “Music” in awhile. Production on that is freaking awesome. Our first producer Eddie Offord, did the classic YES albums and what not, but it was like old school ways of doing things in the studio. Fast forward from ‘92-93 to now, and here we have Bob Rock, esteemed producer in his own right, and what he’s done with us is to me some of our best work on record since ‘93-’93! (laughs) I think “Music” is our best sounding record. I love all of our albums, but that one to me has always set the bar. Before, when you mixed records, you weren’t mixing for your iPod. It's a different era. Overtime music has gotten squashed the files … there was different compression used back then and records sounded different. In this era, Bob Rock has really made this music just pop, big time.
Do you prefer analog recording over digital? M: I love the way analog albums sound, but if someone in this day and age can make records sound great using production methods that are now prevalent, then great. There’s definitely the signature 311 sound on this record, but it just might be our level of ease or comfort with one another. There is a difference in sound for sure, but I can’t seem to put it into words. Our fans are not going to be disappointed. If this album is not included in top-3 fan favorites of all-time, I’ll be surprised. It’s a strong record. What are the forces that keep 311 going? M: What keeps a band like us together is that it’s about the music. There are a lot of great things in life that I love, but music is probably at the top in my book. And that’s the way it is in the band. Music is a big part of our lives, and that’s why we love it, and that why people come to see us and why we love going to shows and the music we like hearing. It has that kind of impact on our lives - those vibrations, those sounds. It's nothing you can hold tan-
gibly, but it does touch your soul in a deep, deep, way. If it comes to a point where it's not about the music, then the band's over (laughs.) Some bands just aren’t working at this level anymore. We’ve been blessed with a great fan base that supports us and we have a great time doing what we do and understand the meaning behind it, and why it’s important. We got music and we got Mexican food. That’s me man. That’s my life and I love it like that. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have a funny “small world” moment to tell you about. I sat right next to you and your guitarist Tim Mahoney at the Jane's Addiction “Relapse Tour” show, at the Olympic in LA in ‘97. M: No way! I totally remember that show! What can Bakersfield fans expect from your show on June 3? M: We’re gonna bring it like we always bring it, playing the songs people have come to hear, and it’s gonna be a big party. Everyone who comes out in Bakersfield is gonna enjoy it too.
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AGENDA WHAT’S ON IT BAKOBIT from Bakotopia.com
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= Highly recommended
MAY 14
MAY 15
Murder Junkies w/ Call The Paramedics The Dome 2201 V St. 6 p.m. / $13 / All Ages 322-5200
Prelude To a Kiss BCT Theatre 2400 S. Chester 8 p.m. / $12 - $10 / 8318114
Der People’s Band (covers) Sandrinis 1918 Eye St. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 322-8900 Karaoke (Every Thurs. & Sun.) The Belvedere 3090 Brundage Ln. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 325-2139
R.A.T. (adult comedy) in Working Title: The Musical The Empty Space 706 Oak St. (next to Pizzaville) 11 p.m. / 327-PLAY Aiden, Julien K (alt. rock) Jerry’s Pizza 1817 Chester Ave. 6 p.m. / $6 / All Ages / 633-1000
May 14, 2009
Really Big Midgetz (also Sat.) The Belvedere 3090 Brundage Ln. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 325-2139
“Reno 911” Randolph's 7737 Meany Ave 6 & 8 p.m. / $20 / 21+ 837-0323
Imbibe “Featured Tasting” Imbibe Wine Bar 4140 Truxtun Ave. 4 p.m. / 21+ / $35 / 6339463
Prelude To a Kiss BCT Theatre 2400 S. Chester 2 p.m. / $12 - $10 / 8318114
Alisa’s Karaoke Nation (Every Mon.) Riley's Tavern 1523 19th St. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 324-3268
Diminished Capacity (covers) Fishlips 1517 18th St. 9 p.m. / $5 / 21+ / 3242557
MAY 19
MAY 16
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Mento Buru - LIVE! The NEW BRyder’s 7401 White Ln. 9 p.m. / $5 / 21+ / 3977304
R.A.T. (adult comedy) in Working Title: The Musical The Empty Space 706 Oak St. (next to Pizzaville) 11 p.m. / 327-PLAY Comedians Marques Ray & Randall Park From “Wild N Out” &
MAY 17 Der People’s Band (covers) Sandrinis 1918 Eye St. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 322-8900 Club Goddess (Gay & Lesbian) The Nile Bar 1721 19th St. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 323 - 8575
PARTY BAR
“Come Party Like One”
661-589-6749 BAKOTOPIA 10
MAY 18 Guthrie’s Alley Cat Re-Opens!
Mac Attack’s Karaoke (Every Tues. & Wed.) The Junction 2620 Buck Owens Blvd. 8 p.m. / 21+ / 327-9651
MAY 20 No Doubt - LIVE! w/ Paramore & The Sounds Rabobank Arena 1001 Truxtun Ave. 7:30 p.m. / $80, $59, $39 www.ticketmaster.com
B
GWEN STEFANI XOXO!
LLC.
LLC.
Open 7 days a week 2PM - Close
7737 Meany Ave. Ste. B-5
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May 14, 2009
SPOTLIGHT SUNDAY MAY 17 Pain is Beauty Tattoo’s Customer Appreciation & Block Party! HPC, Natural Movement, Epixx, Abandon Ship, and more LIVE! Downtown on 18th & Eye St. (outside) 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. / Free / All Ages 861-8282
MAY 22 Catch 22 (classic rock) The Belvedere 3090 Brundage Ln. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 325-2139 Imbibe “Featured Tasting” Imbibe Wine Bar 4140 Truxtun Ave. 4 p.m. / 21+ / $62 / 633-9463
MAY 27
Club Goddess (Gay & Lesbian) The Nile Bar 1721 19th St. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 323 - 8575
Relient K and More (alt. rock) The Dome 2201 V St. 6 p.m. / 21+ / 327-0190 WWW.TIMGARDEAPRESENTS.COM
MAY 25 Open Mic / Songwriter Nite ASR Studios 2231 R. St. 7 p.m. / FREE / 864-1701
Post your events at: www.bakotopia.com to be listed in our calendar! Beer Pong League Tourney Fishlips 1517 18th St. 8 p.m. / 21+ / 324-2557
MAY 24
Backup Johnny Fishlips 1517 18th St. 9 p.m. / $5 / 21+ / 324-2557
MAY 23
661 Beer Pong League Fishlips 1517 18th St. 8 p.m. / 21+ / 324-2557
MAY 26
COMING JUNE 10
Tomorrow’s Bad Seeds w/ Dub Seeds Fishlips 1517 18th St. 8 p.m. / $8 / 21 / 324-2557 www.vallitix.com
BAKO’S “NOCHE DE RUMBA” SALSA NIGHT! Cabana Palms 3001 Calloway Drive FREE Salsa Lessons: 7:30 p.m. Dj Mickey Rock: 9 p.m. 21+ / 588-5888
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Bobby Santacruz, Glenda Robles and the whole gang! (top-40) Fishlips 1517 18th St. 9 p.m. / $5 / 21+ / 324-2557
The Human Abstract, Oh Sleeper and more…(alt. rock) Jerry’s Pizza 1817 Chester Ave. 6 p.m. / All Ages / 633-1000
NEXT BAKO ISSUE MAY 28! THE BIG ROCKIN’ ROOTS EDITION! IT’S GONNA BE HOT, YO!
DON’T DRINK & DRIVE!
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ILLUSTRATION BY: KENT KUEHL
May 14, 2009
Punk Rock Comp PSA Some words to the wise about keeping your TECHNO GEEKDOM in order By Rob Shock, Bakotopia.com Contributor
I
’d decided to write this because I have encountered too many people having too many preventable problems with their computers. I wouldn’t say I’m a computer expert, but because I know more than the average person, I’m often approached when people are having problems with their computers, and it’s usually caused by the same things: doing certain things you shouldn’t be doing on the Internet. So here is my list of sound advice to people who may not otherwise know. Where’s your damned antivirus? This is a question I often have to ask when trying to solve someone’s computer problems. If you don’t have an antivirus, you have no business connecting to the Internet. Going on the Internet without an antivirus is like putting your bare wee-wee in a hole in the wall of some BAKOTOPIA 12
scummy alley and letting some freak have their way. The best antivirus program is one that has an update subscription, like Norton. Keep that subscription paid. Sorry, but if you want protection, you need to fork over. I would not recommend any “free” antivirus software. It may be free, but there’s still a price. There are some good free software on the Internet, such as Firefox, iTunes, etc. But a lot of times free really isn’t. Be careful of free downloads. They can sometimes put spyware on your system without you knowing it. Never download anything free that changes the appearance of your desktop, like themes or mouse pointers. And never download anything “free” from a porn Web site. And no one is going to give you a free iPhone or anything like that. So stop clicking those ads and giving out all your friends’ e-mail address-
es. It’s not going to happen. Watch your freakin’ kids! Kids cause the most mayhem on computers. They tend to be less careful about what they click on when they go to the Internet. Kids are gullible. I know it’s difficult, but I really don't think that most kids should be allowed to browse the Web unsupervised. There’s all kind of ads and stuff that can sucker them into things, especially on network sites like MySpace. If you can’t be so direct, install an ad blocker like Ad Muncher. File sharing software of DOOM! And probably one of the most important things is DON’T USE FILE SHARING SOFTWARE like KaZaa or Limewire! It’s nothing but trouble. First of all, it borders on that gray area of legality. Second, eventually it will screw everything up. I used to use it. I thought I was being careful. But always it ended up f**king up my system. Don’t do it. Getting free
music isn’t worth it. You don’t need it. Not convinced? I’ll tell you a story. A friend of a friend was using Limewire to download music. After a while, his computer was having problems until eventually it got to where he could not boot up his system. He brought his computer to get serviced. The service guy called and said that a lot of child pornography had been found on his system and that they are legally bound to report him. So now he is in a ****load of trouble. What I think happened is that while he was downloading free music, he also downloaded a virus that allowed remote access to his computer through the Internet, after which his computer was used as a server to store illegal child pornography. The authorities may believe that he didn’t download the porn and not charge him, but there’s still the problem with him illegally downloading copyrighted music files. Good Luck!
BAKOBIT from Bakotopia.com
May 14, 2009
Finding your dream job Should you always settle for what’s on your plate during a bad economy? By AtomicTeaspoon Bakotopia.com contributor deally, one person’s dream job may not be another person’s dream job. It really is a matter of perspective. However, let’s imagine for a moment that everyone got to do the job they want (barring unemployment). The ever rolling boulder of crappy attitudes would actually slow down, letting many bitter, angry folks stand for a moment and contemplate a life outside of their cubicle, drive-thru window, etc. Many people feel the anger caused by a job that is meaningless or condescending. It’s simply unfair to do a 40-hour-a-week job that’s so toxic, that it permeates into how you feel about the other 128 hours of your week. My gripe comes at a time that would make my opinion seem ungrateful. On the other hand, lamenting your job and doing nothing about it makes you part of your own problem. I recently acquired a job that I am happy to have. Aside from providing me money for rent, it has also taken a fee
I
of patience and sanity. For someone who’s done all of his jobs on his feet. I get to sit still at a desk, repeating mundane answers to mundane calls over and over. Coworkers are rightfully questioning my sanity. My weekends consist of scouting for a job that suits me better, such as one that allows me to stand and interact with human beings on a basic level. Many of us may never find our dream job, but it certainly shouldn’t stop us from ever trying. Maybe when this economy levels off some, people can focus a little less on simply surviving and more on actually living. You may not have a 100 percent chance of getting a job after applying, but it’s better than the zero percent chance from not trying at all. I’m going to keep looking. I hope anyone else that discovers their job is the biggest source of their unhappiness can find enough energy at the end of their workday to keep looking. You may not find that dream, but you can be closer than you were before. No fate is more definite than the one you resign yourself to. ILLUSTRATION BY: KENT KUEHL
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