Bakotopia Feb 5 Issue

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KEEPING IT KINKY FOR V-DAY

BAKO’S MODERN JAZZ TRIO

GOIN’ GREEK AT CSUB

LARRY DEMON RETURNS

Exotica! TRIBAL UNDERGROUND’S GRACEFUL GODDESSES February 5, 2009 February 18, 2009

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BAKOTOPIA STAFF

EDITORIAL Olivia Garcia Publisher ogarcia@bakersfield.com 395-7487 Matt Muñoz Editor/Product Manager mmunoz@bakersfield.com 395-7660 Teresa Adamo Associate Editor tadamo@bakersfield.com

ART Billy Simkins Designer bsimkins@bakersfield.com

ADVERTISING Jaime De Los Santos Sales Manager jdelossantos@bakersfield.com 716-8632 David Alanis Sales Executive Gustavo Carrillo Sales Executive Samantha Vilchis Sales Executive Mark Wells Sales Executive

OFFICE Marisol Sorto Office Administrator msorto@bakersfield.com 716-8640

E D I TO R ’ S N OT E

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veryone in Bakersfield has at one time seen a belly dance performance of some kind. No, not your boyfriend’s beer gut flapping in the wind - I’m talking the real thing! Whether at The Marketplace during Via Arte, the artisan / renaissance faire, or Kern County Fair, I’m sure you’ve stopped to see what’s really going on. Our local talents are as close as you’re going to get to a night in Arabia, so submit yourself to the experience and feel the positive vibes. Our cover girls from Tribal Underground have been on the scene for awhile now, and you can bet there’s going to be a whole lotta shakin’ goin on at the Nile during their Exotica event on Feb. 21. Who else but photographer Holly Carlyle could capture the Tribal essence in two locales northeast Bako after a storm and inside the Nile Bar - which by the way will be re-opening for business on Feb. 20! If you’d like to see some behind-the-scenes video of the shoot, visit our Bakotopia YouTube video page at: www.youtube.com/bakotopia. It’s always cool to watch local talent like our Bako belly dancers keep their scene alive through groups like Tribal Underground and Bahiyya Almas. Just like all the great writers we have in this issue - including the return of Chris Taylor’s “Larry: Demon” cartoon, which became an instant hit after it debuted last week. Thanks to all of our contributors and our fantabulous advertisers who keep us free for you and yours! See you at Artuary at The Basement Gallery and at Fishlips on Feb. 7!

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February 5, 2009

Why Rush? CSUB students attribute scholastic success to campus Greek system By Juan Torres, Bakotopia.com contributor

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ou are walking through Dorothy Donahoe Hall as a new student to CSUB looking for your class. You see students from all walks of life going from class to class as well as professors to their awaiting students. Along your walk down the hall, you notice different boards decorated representing different clubs and student groups. You are then greeted by someone with a friendly smile, wearing a shirt with letters you have never seen before. The one question running through your mind is: “Why Rush?” For the longest time, fraternities and sororities have had a negative reputation portrayed in movies like “Animal House,” and “Van Wilder.” The common thought is that everyone in the Greek system are just a bunch of college students who don’t care about class and are only looking forward to the next big party. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Fraternities and sororities not only like to have fun, but also like to help their members and the community out in many different ways. One of the

ways the CSUB Greeks get involved with the community is with groups and causes such as the Special Olympics, Assistance League of Bakersfield and Relay for Life. Their involvement can include volunteering to help out at their events, setting up chairs and even fundraising. Fraternity brothers and sorority sisters come from all walks of life and different backgrounds. Each person has his or her own story for choosing to be member of the Greek system, which goes beyond just parties. “Coming from a different area, I didn’t really know people in the area. Being a part of this sorority (Phi Sigma Sigma) has helped me become use to the area,” said Casey Spinetti, who is a member of CSUB sorority, Phi Sigma Sigma. “Back in high school, I was involved in different clubs. As soon as I came to CSUB, I only knew my best friend from high school. Being a sorority member has also helped me get out of my shell and take on various leadership roles.” Gaspar Herrera, founding member of the Kappa Sigma fraternity chapter at CSUB echoes Spinetti’s sentiments.

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“One of the benefits is interacting and making friends with other people on campus,” said Herrera. “I was tired of being bored, staying at the dorms all day,” said Herrera of his social schedule prior to being in a fraternity. “Now, I’ve become more outgoing and a lot more social.” The involvement with either a fraternity or sorority extends not only within the boundaries of school, but after graduation, added Herrera. “Another advantage of being Greek is networking,” he explained. “You cannot only network with other people on campus, but also alumni members with experience.”

For more info on CSUB Greek fraternities and sororities, visit: CSUB Office of Student Activities 9001 Stockdale Highway Located in the Student Union, Room 138 Phone: 654-3091


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February 5, 2009

BAKOTOPIA 5


AGENDA WHAT’S ON IT

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FEB. 5 Grease: The Musical (also Sat.-Sun.) EBHS Auditorium 2200 Quincy Dr 7 p.m. / $6 / 619-4371 Karaoke (also Sun.) The Belvedere 3090 Brundage Ln. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 325-2139 Bakersfield JAM vs Anaheim Arsenal 1001 Truxtun Ave. 7 p.m. / $5 - $20 / 716 - 4526

Sunday Snake Oil BRyder’s 7701 White Ln. 9:30 p.m. / 21+ / 3977304

FEB. 6 State of Insomnia, GSmoke, Plex The Poet, DJ Mike Jerry’s Pizza 1817 Chester Ave. 6 p.m. / All Ages / 6331000 Moosehead Band Pyrenees Café 601 Sumner St. 8 p.m. / 21+ / 323-0053

February 5, 2009

Conspiracy Theory & My Dirty X BRyder’s 7701 White Ln. 9:30 p.m. / 21+ / 397-7304

Mike Montano Blues Band (also Sat.) The Belvedere 3090 Brundage Ln. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 325-2139

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FEB. 7

Rock Fu - Day 1! The Empty Space 706 Oak St. 6 p.m. / $5 / All Ages / 327-PLAY

Artuary! Art, Music, Workshops & more The Basement Gallery 1532 19th st. 12p.m. - ? / All Ages 859 - 1904

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Gabba Gabba Heys Ramone’s Tribute Amestoy’s 2303 River Blvd. 8 p.m. / 21+ / $10 / 871-2303 The Entertainers w/ Christina & Paul (also Sat.) Café Med 4809 Stockdale Hwy 8:30 p.m. / 21+ / 834-4433 Paul Chesne Band Fishlips / 1517 18th st. 9 p.m. / $5 / 21+ / 324-2557

Mento Buru LIVE! w/ The Modern Jazz Trio Fishlips / 1517 18th st. 9 p.m. / $5 / 21+ / 3242557 The Cogs BRyder’s / 7701 White Ln. 9:30 p.m. / 21+ / 397-7304 Rock Fu - Band Fest! The Empty Space 706 Oak St. 4 p.m. / $5 / All Ages

FEB. 8 Bakersfield JAM vs Colorado 14rs 1001 Truxtun Ave. 4 p.m. / $5 - $20 / 7164526

FEB. 9 Alisa’s Karaoke (also Tues.) Riley’s Tavern 1523 19th St. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 324-3268

FEB. 10 Mac’s Karaoke (also Wed.) The Junction 2620 Buck Owens Blvd. 8 p.m. / 21+ / 327-9651

FEB. 12 Strike 3 BRyder’s 7701 White Ln. 9:30 p.m. / 21+ / 397-7304

Wild West entertainment Live Music • Pool Tables • Shuffleboard • Darts Video Games • Great Food • Drinks & More Feburar y 26, 2009

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Th ur. Feb 5th Su nday Snake Oil -10pm Fri. Feb 6th Conspiracy Theory & My Dirty X - 9:30pm Sat. Feb 7 th The Cogs - 9:30pm Feb 12th Strike 3 - 10p m Feb 13th Dub Seeds - 9:30pm Feb 14th The Filthies with special guest - 9:30 pm $5 cover Feb 21st Mento Buru - Starts at 9:3 0pm $5 cover

“A Night With Jonathan Davis” Ticket prices are $100-250. Meet and greet pas s is an additional $35.

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February 5, 2009

SPOTLIGHT FEB. 7 Artuary! Art, Music, Workshops & more The Basement Gallery 1532 19th St. Noon - ? / All Ages 859 - 1904

Pre-VDay Bash w/ Martin Kaye, Bobby D & The Silence Club Fishlips 1517 18th st. 8 p.m. / 21+ / 324-2557

Thee Majestics Fishlips 1517 18th st. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 324-2557

FEB. 13

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I Am Ghost, Driver Side Impact, and more… Jerry’s Pizza 1817 Chester Ave. 6 p.m. / All Ages / 633-1000

Dub Seeds BRyder’s 7701 White Ln. 9:30 p.m. / 21+ / 397-7304 Grease: The Musical (also Sat.) EBHS Auditorium 2200 Quincy Dr 7 p.m. / $6 / 619-4371

The Silence Club w/Levator Silver Fox 702 18th st. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 324-6972

Modern Jazz Quartet Dagny’s Coffeehouse 1600 20th st. 6 p.m. / All Ages / Free Really Big Midgetz (also Sat.) The Belvedere 3090 Brundage Ln. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 325-2139

FEB. 16

FEB. 14 Happy Valentine’s Day! Roslyn Kind VDay Show Randolph’s Lounge 7737 Meany Ave. 7 p.m. / 21+ / 615-1490

Atomic Punks Van Halen Tribute! Fishlips 1517 18th st. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 324-2557

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Destroy The Runner, The Demonstration, and more… Jerry’s Pizza 1817 Chester Ave. 6 p.m. / All Ages / 633-1000 The Filthies BRyder’s 7701 White Ln. 9:30 p.m. / 21+ / 397-7304

Alisa’s Karaoke (also Tues.) Riley’s Tavern 1523 19th St. 9 p.m. / 21+ / 324-3268

FEB. 17 Bring Me The Horizon, Pierce The Veil, and more… The Dome 2201 V St. 6 p.m. / All Ages / 327-0190

FEB. 18 Jack Daniel’s Event w/ Casey Mears & The Iron Outlaws Randolph’s Lounge 7737 Meany Ave. 5 p.m. / 21+ / 615-1490

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left: Noelia Citialin and Melynie Thomas.


L O W D O W N

TRIBAL UNDERGROUND’S Saturday, Feb. 21, 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., at The Nile Bar, 1721 19th St. American Tribal Style belly dance, as it is known today, is a re-vamped, modernized version of the “cabaret-style” Egyptian belly dance that entered the U.S. and Hollywood movie mainstream during the ‘50s and ‘60s. You’ve seen it, that belly dance style with see-through veils and tantalizing “va-vavoom” kitsch. Robin Denbeeman, dance instructor and founder of Troupe Tribal Underground, has been actively belly dancing since ‘98, and has witnessed firsthand various waves of popularity the dance has

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experienced in Kern County over the years. “Tribal is very avant-garde with gothic fashion and make-up styles,” said Tehachapi resident Denbeeman, 44, of the group’s improvisation dance and look. The signature style is credited to San Franciscobased FatChanceBellydance instructor, Carolena Nericcio, who started the trend during the late-’80s. Denbeeman also previously attended the FatChanceBellydance studio. Like many in the local belly dance world, Denbeeman got her first instruction from the late Diana Tilary, aka “Tilana.”

FANTASY FUSION By Matt Muñoz, Bakotopia.com editor

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he power of belly dance cannot be denied. With ancient origins in North Africa and Asia for use in religious ceremonies and social gatherings, the dance’s popularity was broadened with help from some of history’s most heroic figures, including Alexander the Great, who helped spread the dance throughout Greece. Bakersfield audiences will soon get a chance to experience a modernized form of belly dance at a festival of all things Tribal: “Exotica at The Nile” on

Bakersfield Tribal Underground members — Back row from left: Janet Whitted, Robin Denbeeman, Heather Calderwood. Front row from left: Noelia Citialin and Melynie Thomas.


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Tilary is credited as a pioneer of local belly dance with numerous students to her credit, including many members of Tribal Underground and Bahiyya Almas, another popular Bakersfield dance group. “Everyone I know started with Tilana,” said Denbeeman of her mentor, who gave evening lessons once a week at Café Med in southwest Bakersfield. “She was big on showmanship and made a big impression on me. I took lessons for about two years before I started driving to San Francisco in 2002 to get lessons from Jill Parker from Ultra Gypsy, who was teaching Tribal.” During her lengthy commutes over the next two years, Denbeeman discovered a more intense class instruction than she was used to back home. “In Bakersfield, I was used to basic movement with playful, lighthearted posturing,” she said. “Jill’s classes had a serious demeanor, and the Tribal style came across much more regal.” Now with enough instruction to begin performing solo, Denbeeman also returned to Tehachapi, giving lessons and garnering interest among with locals. “In the beginning, performing Tribal style solo was scary, in that I had no template to follow, no guide,” she remembered of her early shows. “I eventually developed my own style within the Tribal structure, based off what I learned from Jill (Parker), who was very theatrical. After awhile, dancers started to coin my style, ‘Industrial Fusion.’” Watching the troupe in motion and in full Tribal regalia -you’ll understand what she means. During our photo shoot and interview, Denbeeman - along with other members of Troupe Tribal Underground - gave an impromptu performance - sans music for our camera. Full of colorful crimson red and black clothing, and adorned with silver medallions, red feathers, ribbon, and other creative touches, their costumes display a futuristic combination of Middle Eastern mystique mixed with urban art. Think: Nina Hagen meets Bollywood. “We get to be our own designers,” said Denbeeman proudly. Another Tehachapi resident, Janet Whitted, 39, who has been belly dancing for six years, is quick to express her appreciation for the experiences and self-fulfillment she receives by being involved with the troupe. “I like to close my eyes and get BAKOTOPIA 10

February 5, 2009

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hen Bako photographer Holly Carlyle has a vision, she sticks with it. From the cold hill tops of northeast Bakersfield for a colorful effect, then to the Nile Bar, the results are truly amazing! See all the photos at www.bakotopia.com, search ‘Tribal’.

Tribal Underground dancers, which also includes member Kristy Leitch (second from right), do some mid-shake bonding at The Nile during ‘Exotica’ rehearsal. lost in the music,” she said. “I don’t do many special things for myself, but I love dancing, it makes me feel beautiful.” Speaking with the other members - all from various backgrounds and occupations, including a teacher, registered nurse, executive assistant, a stay-at-home mom, and vet receptionist - it’s clear that the camaraderie and sisterhood their dancing provides is something wonderfully empowering. Or as members Noelia Citialin, Melynie Thomas, Heather Calderwood, Kristy Leitch and Janet McCarthy often describe as “a goddess thing.” “I started out doing this very casually back in ‘05,” said dancer Citialin, 33, whose husband, Jose, will also assist with MC duties at the Exotica event. “I have a passion for it now, and I incorporate it into my daily life.” Thomas, 27, started out dancing with her mother and sister, making it a real family affair. Starting in ‘05, the three performed in cabaret dance circles at various community events, parades and private parties. Since then, Thomas’ family members no longer dance together, but their support is always present. “I started with Robin in ‘06, and there is a big difference between what we started out performing to now. The environment is different, the dancing and music is much more technical,” Thomas said. “We present strength, and it’s great for a selfconfident woman. I dance because I like it, not because I want someone to look at me.” Like many women who have rekindled their love for dance - from their days as young ballet students or

jazz/tappers - Tribal Underground’s Heather Calderwood, 34, has never stopped. “I will keep dancing as long as I can,” she said. “And if I can’t dance, I’ll host shows.” Calderwood adds a personal testament to the love she has for her fellow Tribal sisters in dance. “When I moved back to Bakersfield, I was going through a really tough time and this group really helped me keep it together,” she said. “I keep in touch with them regularly. They are like my family and keep me here.” Despite their respect for the art form, it hasn’t always been reciprocated by the audience. Denbeeman remembers the stormy days encountered by fun-loving belly dancers in 2001 soon after the attacks of 9/11, when freshly angered Americans jumped at the sight of anything even remotely associated with the Middle East. “Once we performed at a UNICEF event in Ridgecrest, and we had to have security,” she remembered with a visible look of disappointment at how subsequent events followed. “Then we performed at a parade in Taft, and I got the worst heckling I’ve ever had.” In a post-9/11 world, Denbeeman believed the best way to win over fans was with good old U.S. patriotism. “Before we danced, I had to tell people that this dance is beautiful and that we’re in America, where we are free to dance, unlike some countries where it is forbidden,” she said, gently smiling. That freedom to create and edu-

HollyCarlylePhoto graphy.com

cate is exactly what Tribal Underground hope to continue to do at this year’s Exotica, where dancers from across the state will come together in unity to celebrate their mutual passions through dance! Some event highlights include an appearance by LA’s Dulce de Baile dancers, under the direction of Monica Fernandez as well as groups from Las Vegas, San Bernadino and beyond. “There will be vendors, information booths, food, jewelry, clothing and different dance workshops for everyone to check out and participate in,” said Denbeeman. “We encourage people who have never danced to come out.” The Exotica event is for attendees 21-and-over only, unless you are an official show performer. There will also be an official after party, beginning at 9 p.m. inside the Nile Bar, for all of those in attendance to keep on dancing. And yes, guys are welcome, too just be mindful of the girl power in the room. “Be prepared to see something awesome,” said Denbeeman.

Exotica at The Nile -The Nile, 1721 19th St. -Saturday, Feb. 21 -11a.m. to 8 p.m. (event) -9 p.m. to 2 a.m. (afterparty) -$10 / 21 & Over www.myspace.com/tribalatthenile E-mail: tribalunderground_bellydance@yahoo.com


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February 5, 2009

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Photo by Julie Cartwright From left, Fernando Montoya, Jonathan Martinez, and Jay Smith of the Modern Jazz Trio hang at Dagny’s coffeehouse in downtown.

Reinventing jazz for a modern age Local trio looks to bring Bako jazz scene back to life & into the clubs By Sam Jaime, Bakotopia.com contributor

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iding with Modern Jazz Trio pianist Jay Smith to rehearsal was an adventure in itself. It was an ordeal just to get there on time through the bustle of the afternoon hustle, which is what Bakersfield streets are around 4 o’clock. This drive bred conversations of great expectations within Jay’s own community. Helping to lay the ground work to reinvigorate the local jazz scene outside of the scholastic realm and back into the clubs where jazz music was created. Appearing live at Fishlips, 1517 18th St., on Feb. 7, at 9 p.m. – as well as the CSUB Jazz Coffeehouse and Dagny’s Coffeehouse, among other locations throughout the coming months - Smith took sometime from his daily shuffle to get Bakersfield further acquainted with his musical mission: Q: Where do you see The Modern Jazz Trio in six months? JS: I think, ultimately, our group can be the catalyst for a much larger jazz scene here in town. I’ve been doing my own part, the group aside, by mentoring younger jazz musicians at the Bakersfield Jazz Workshop, as well as finding venues that haven’t even considered supporting jazz in the past, to support us now and in the future.

Q: What do you feel sets you apart from other groups in your genre? JS: The biggest thing that sets us apart is that we aren’t locked into a genre. What I mean is, while we are a progressive jazz ensemble, we are completely comfortable incorporating funk, hip-hop, r&b, and other styles into our music. Fernando (Montoya, acoustic and electric bass) is a rock bassist who started playing jazz; Jonathan (Martinez, drums) plays gospel in church aside from our group and others. I, myself, play keys and synth in the band now, started out playing classical piano and switched over to jazz about eight years ago. Q: If the reader could take away any one thing from this article about The Modern Jazz Trio, what would you want it to be? JS: I would hope that people would realize that for us, our goal is to bring a better understanding and awareness of what jazz really means in the time that we’re living in. We arrived some 10 minutes later (exactly on time) to the rehearsal site, Jay wearing his long coat, leading the way up to the building’s entrance. Once inside, amidst posters of John Lennon and walls adorned with beautiful paintings of many colors and vibrant ideas, I could feel the energy mounting as the three gathered around their respective tools of their trade. The room screamed expression with instru-

ments of all sorts set up beneath the microphones hanging from the rafters above. The band warmed up, breezing skillfully through some jams. At once, I could sense a change in the room. I had decided then and there that this was something to behold. The power of their warm-ups alone seemed epic and full. Once the actual concert material came into play, two things became apparent within their smooth, easy flowing mastery of such a technically rigorous genre. Firstly, these guys are an amazingly musical force to be reckoned with, churning around soulful drums, precise keys and a lush walking bass line. Secondly, given the attitudes some people seem to have about jazz, I must say, although echoes of Coltrane and the energy of Miles Davis resound throughout the group, this is not your grandmother’s jazz. This is a fresh, appealing beast in both vigor and style. Ultimately, there is no doubt in my mind the extent of this group, The Modern Jazz Trio, will only be limited by their own desires. Be on the lookout for upcoming shows by visiting them online: -www.bakotopia.com/users/ModernJazzTrio BAKOTOPIA 11


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February 5, 2009

Experience Kinky Cabaret for V-Day Attention kinksters & painmongers - get ready for a night you won’t forget at The Element By Christina Varvel, Bakotopia.com contributor

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ypocrisy, racism, porn, abuse, hate, humiliation, fear, sexual discrimination and regret. Are you scared yet? Do not be afraid - be intrigued! You will not find any of the aforementioned things at Kinky Cabaret, happening just in time for V-Day on Saturday, Feb. 14, 9 p.m., inside The Element Lounge, 1927 K St. At Kinky Cabaret, you’re sure to feel welcome, no matter what your persuasion is. We want you to feel safe to express yourself completely, and all that we ask is your willing participation as long as it is, of course, on our terms. Valentine’s night we will be offering to you, the curious, amorous and uninhibited, an evening of an alternative party to the mundane - “La Douleur Exquise (The Exquisite Pain).” The Central Valley has a reputation for not being accepting of alternative lifestyles. We would like to invite each and every one of you to step out of your individual closets. No, it’s not just, “a gay thing.” Everyone has something they like that they may be afraid to admit to. We want you to enjoy being yourself in an accepting environment and perhaps even discover that what you once

Photos by Studio 13 Kinky Cabaret invites you to take a walk on the wild side, plus experience burlesque performances by Chloe Rose L’Amour (top right.) considered taboo may actually turn you on! Kinky Cabaret is brought to you by Club Trade, a collaborative effort by LC Productions - DJ Sid Nar Wu Perry and Allyssa Nicole Whitney. Club Trade’s mission is to throw parties inside of a completely accepting and open-minded location. We found our home inside The Element Lounge. When we decided to throw a V-Day

party, we knew we needed to offer people something that they would be unable to find anywhere else in town. A corner stone of romance is trust, and in our opinion, the ultimate exercise in trust is domination and submission. We all become the dominant one or act submissive in some aspect of our everyday lives. Some people choose not to hide who they are - and we found them.

For all you lovers on V-Day By Boltar 828, Bakotopia.com contributor I promise you my love for today and tomorrow, I promise you as much happiness as I can give. I promise not to doubt or mistrust you, But to grow and add to your life of content. I promise never to try to change you, But will accept the changes you make in yourself. And I will accept your love for me without fear of tomorrow, Knowing that tomorrow, I'll love you more than I do today. Happy Valentine’s Day! — Dedicated to Robin & everyone else that cares…

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“Kinky Cabaret is a classy, intellectual collaboration of artists and entertainers - a place where fantasy meets art,” said dominatrix performer and KC founder Lady Lotus, and host of La Douleur Exquise. “The purpose of this night is to bring together some of the most talented, sexy and taboo entertainers to continue a timeless lifestyle. We will also be hosting an array of live performances including live bands, DJs, go-go dancers, burlesque shows, bellydancers and best of all a VIP spanking lounge for the kink curious and experienced alike. This will be a night of fashion, fantasy, fun and fabulousness. We encourage you to come dressed to the nines as dress code is not strictly enforced, but strongly recommended. Open-minded, respectful and considerate behavior is expected. We know that we can turn you on - we just don’t want to have to turn you off and kick you out as security will be strictly enforced. So we respectfully request that you submit to our wish to please you. We are all tied together by human curiosity. Come and explore yours with us on a night of fetish fantasy and romance on V-day at Kinky Cabaret!” We will be throwing the most titillating party possible, so save the date and start making your costumes!


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February 5, 2009

Jonathan is coming home! By Matt Muñoz, Bakotopia Editor

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Photo by Tim Bramlette Jonathan Davis will be performing solo works & classics at BRyder’s.

et your "Welcome Home" signs ready - Bako homeboy and hard rock innovator, Jonathan Davis of KORN is planning on coming back to the city where it all began for a special intimate solo-performance at BRyder's, 7701 White Ln. on Thursday, Feb. 26! Jon will be performing songs from various solo projects, including selections from the "Queen of The Damned" soundtrack which he composed and produced, and who

knows? Maybe he'll throw in some KORN classics with his solo band! The only way you're going to find out is to stay tuned to www.bakotopia.com for updates, or give BRyder's a call at: 661-397-7304! Tickets and seats will be strictly limited, so have your duckets on stand by - you DO NOT want to miss this special show! Be on the look-out for more in the next issue of Bakotopia magazine hitting racks on Feb. 19!

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February 5, 2009

Who Says The Economy Sucks? One man’s opinion on the current state of our financial discontent By Herb Schmerdtz, Bakotopia.com contributor

I

am getting so tired of people saying we are stuck in a bad economy! Heck, the gas prices ARE DOWN, for Pete’s sake! We got oil here, too! So why is everyone going around in such a funk? OK, I’m a business guy, I have retail rentals available locally, but I’m also a journalist (that’s like somebody who gets paid to blog, right?), and I see people still driving by my establishment, needing coffee, smoothies, whatever — and they (we) are going to keep buying them. Through this observance, I can see the economy is still creaking along. I think the main thing that cracks my shins is the idea that Obama knows exactly how long and how much money will rescue the economy. Nobody does — not Obama, not you, not me. Do you get the idea that somehow we as

average citizens don’t really understand how the economy works? I’ve got a theory, and it’s sort of weird, but I think you’ll get it: Economies are like traffic — we don’t know why suddenly everybody slams on their brakes and we come to a halt. Or, why everybody starts moving again. It’s like some sort of mysterious energy that hits everybody at the same moment and they all stop spending, which then hurts our economy. Ever watch birds in a flock zooming up and down like Tatsu at Magic Mountain? They just follow the leader and somehow it works. Who choreographs that? God, maybe? What if Bako suddenly started opening a bunch of new businesses, hired people to run them and those people started paying taxes and buying stuff, which, in turn, made more businesses hire people, and they started

spending? Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to work? Then we’ll all have enough money to recall every legislator in Sacramento who passed a dumb new law limiting our freedom. Clean out the lot of ‘em! Close down the regional water board, coastal commission, disband the environmental registry, burn all the old papers, lots of smoke and all! By the way, I'm not really Herb Schmerdtz, I’m just too lazy to sign-up and fill in the blanks. Heck, I still can’t type the number level on the keyboard by touch. I used to work with this guy as a radio DJ, and he sounded great on the radio, but was really cynical off-air. He’d complain about how “hard it was to please all the Herb Schmerdtzes in the world,” so I took the name for use with telemarketers and such. So in closing, I say, “Don’t believe all the hype - spend to your heart’s content!”

10711 ROSE Bakersfie DALE HWY ld, Californ ia

661-588-0065 BAKOTOPIA 14


BAKOBIT from Bakotopia.com

February 5, 2009

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A: Possession of less than an ounce of marijuana is a misdemeanor punishable as an infraction. You can only get a fine and not jail time. You could just take the fine and get it over with. The court or D.A. might also offer you a counseling program, which, if you complete it, would result in the dismissal of the charges. Or you could consult with a Public Defender or private attorney to see if your rights were violated during the stop, which could result in the evidence being suppressed and the case dismissed.

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