Limbani’s Story Merck more than a mother awareness campaign Malawi version for web

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Limbani’s Story Limbani’s Story How love withstands and conquers all. You will discover how love is everything.” the author

This book is a property of A Story of love that stood the test of time Written and illustrated by: Dr. Thomas MUYOMBO


H.E.H.E. PROF. PROF. GERTRUDE GERTRUDE MUTHARIKA MUTHARIKA Message Message As theAsFirst the Lady First of Lady Malawi of Malawi and ambassador and ambassador of “Merck of “Merck more more than athan Mother” a Mother” campaign, campaign, I am very I am very happyhappy to share to share with you withthis youinspiring this inspiring story of story Limbani of Limbani and Takondwa. and Takondwa. As you Asallyou know, all know, in many in many cultures, cultures, childless childless women women still suffer still suffer discrimination, discrimination, stigmastigma and ostracism. and ostracism. It is sad It is tosad know to know that women that women are blamed are blamed for infertility, for infertility, although although 50% of50% infertility of infertility are due aretodue men. to We men. We need to need encourage to encourage men to men speak to speak up andupdiscuss and discuss their infertility their infertility issuesissues openlyopenly and know and know that fertility that fertility is is a shared a shared responsibility. responsibility. One in One every in every four couples four couples in developing in developing countries countries suffersuffer infertility. infertility. This prevalence This prevalence rate israte high is high indeed. indeed. Majority Majority of infertility of infertility cases can casesbecan duebetodue untreated to untreated infectious infectious disease, disease, such as such Sexually as Sexually Trans-Transmittedmitted Diseases, Diseases, Genital Genital mutilation, mutilation, unsafeunsafe abortion, abortion, and unsafe and unsafe delivery, delivery, hencehence prevention prevention is veryis very important important and this andisthis oneisofone theof main the main objectives objectives of theof campaign. the campaign. Therefore Therefore I am very I amhappy very happy to work to work closelyclosely with Merck with Merck Foundation Foundation to empower to empower women women and raise and raise awareness awareness among among our communities, our communities, with special with special focus focus on the onyouth the youth (girls (girls and boys) and boys) through through this this story, story, to know to know how tohow prevent to prevent infertility, infertility, how tohow protect to protect themselves themselves and also andhow alsotohow value to value themselves themselves whether whether they are they mothers are mothers or not.orWomen not. Women are more are more than just thanmothers, just mothers, they are they productive are productive members members in society in society and should and should be respected. be respected. This story This is story partisofpart theof ‘Merck the ‘Merck More More Than aThan Mother’ a Mother’ campaign campaign whichwhich is veryisclose very to close myto heart. my heart. I hopeI hope you will youunderstand will understand the message the message behind behind it. I believe it. I believe we must we prepare must prepare our children our children for tomorrow for tomorrow with with the right the family right family valuesvalues of loveofand loverespect. and respect. Having Having a child, a child, takes takes both aboth mana and mana and woman, a woman, every every woman woman is more is more than athan mother, a mother, every every man isman is more more than athan father. a father.

H.E.H.E. PROF. PROF. GERTRUDE GERTRUDE MUTHARIKA MUTHARIKA The First The First LadyLady of the ofRepublic the Republic of Malawi of Malawi

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Dr. Dr. RASHA RASHA KELEJ KELEJ Message Message As an As African an African woman woman and the and CEO the of CEO Merck of Merck Foundation, Foundation, I am very I amproud very proud to introduce to introduce this inspiring this inspiring story story of Limbani of Limbani and Takondwa. and Takondwa. In many In many cultures, cultures, childless childless women women still suffer still suffer discrimination, discrimination, stigmastigma and ostracism. and ostracism. An inability An inability to have toahave a child or child to become or to become pregnant pregnant can result can result in being in being greatlygreatly isolated, isolated, disinherited disinherited or assaulted. or assaulted. This often This results often results in divorce in divorce or physical or physical and psychological and psychological violence. violence. Therefore Therefore we have wecreated have created “Merck “Merck More More Than aThan Mother” a Mother” campaign campaign with the withaim thetoaim define to define manymany interventions interventions to empower to empower infertile infertile women women through through accessaccess to to information, information, healthhealth and change and change of mind-set. of mind-set. This story This is story oneisofone these of these interventions interventions to break to break the stigma the stigma around around infertile infertile women women and raises and raises awareness awareness aboutabout infertility infertility prevention prevention and male and infertility. male infertility. It’s important It’s important for parents for parents and caregivers and caregivers to start to teaching start teaching respect respect and nurturing and nurturing empathy empathy from from a verya very youngyoung age. We age.should We should teach teach boys these boys these qualities qualities at their at schools their schools and through and through media.media. I believe I believe both boys both boys and girls andneed girls the need same the kind sameof kind guidance. of guidance. Just like Justgirls, like girls, youngyoung boys gradually boys gradually learn learn how to how control to control their their behavior behavior duringduring their their pre-school pre-school and and elementary elementary schoolschool years.years. This story This is story our isway ourtoway empower to empower our boys ourto boys develop to develop true respect true respect for women for women and and knowknow few facts fewabout facts about Infertility Infertility prevention prevention and how andithow affects it affects both men bothand menwomen and women equally. equally. Reading Reading Limbani’s Limbani’s story will storyteach will teach our children our children to respect to respect and value and value all people all people Regardless Regardless of being of being parents parents or not. orItnot. willItalso willhelp also preparing help preparing our children our children for tomorrow for tomorrow with the withright the right familyfamily valuesvalues of love of and love and respect. respect. Everyone Everyone deserves deserves respect respect and love, and and love,should and should never never ever be ever overlooked be overlooked or, worse, or, worse, abused abused — — even ifeven theyifare they childless. are childless. I hopeI you hopewill youunderstand will understand the story’s the story’s message message “Having “Having a child, a child, takes takes both aboth mana and mana and woman, a woman, every every woman woman is more is more than athan Mother, a Mother, EveryEvery man isman more is more than athan Father a Father “. “. EnjoyEnjoy reading reading Limbani’s Limbani’s story….. story…..

Dr. Rasha Dr. Rasha KelejKelej

CEOCEO of Merck of Merck Foundation Foundation President President of Merck of Merck moremore thanthan a Mother a Mother

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In a land In a fland ar awf ay arlives away alives man acalled man called limbani limbani limbani limbani is married is married to takondwa, to takondwa, his childhood his childhood love. love.

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limbanilimbani and takondwa and takondwa are wealthy are wealthy due to due their to their hard work. hard work. Two years Two years ago, limbani ago, limbani and takondwa and takondwa went went out inout their in their farm tfo arm work. to work.

They were They were sayingsay lovely ing lovely wordswords to one toanother. one another. m y lm ove y l ove takondwa, takondwa, i l ove i l yo ove u yo u l ik e liikne e ver i ne ver loved loved before. before.

yo u ayo re u athe re the bes tbes husba t husba nd nd in the in the worlworl d d limbani. limbani.

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I wonder I wonder how how theythey can be canhappy be happy likelike thatthat whenwhen theythey can’tcan’t have have children. children. The The woman woman is infertile is infertile . .

A lady A lady called called chisomo chisomo and her andson her son yamikani yamikani passed passed by limbani by limbani and and takondwa’ takondwa’ s farm. s farm.

yamikani, yamikani, let let us say us Asay good A good hello hello to limbani to limbani AND takondwa AND takondwa I THINK I THINK YOU KNOW YOU KNOW THEM,THEM, DON’T DON’T YOU? YOU?

I need I need TO LET TO LET THEMTHEM KNOWKNOW how how miserable miserable theythey should should feel.feel.

YES IYES DO, I DO, MOTHER MOTHER Hello Hello lovebirds! lovebirds!

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Hello Hello chisomo. chisomo.


And then... And then... ARE Y ARE OU YOU SERIOUS? SERIOUS?

ow How can someone can someone barren barren likelike you you takondwa takondwa pretend pretend to be to happy? be happy? ou should You should be be mourning mourning and and hiding hiding youryf our ace.face.

chisomo chisomo WENTWENT ON... ON...

ou should you should give give youryour husband husband a child a child or or elseelse return return to to youryparents. our parents. limbani limbani oesnt doesnt deserve deserve this, this, he ishe a kind is a kind man. man.

NO!NO!

AND takondwa AND takondwa STARTED STARTED CRYING CRYING

limbani limbani was shocked was shocked

takondwa takondwa mylove mylove , please , please chisomo, chisomo, how how can y can ou be you be don’t don’t cry. Y cry ou. know You know how how so cruel so cruel likelike that? that? I love I love you, don’t you, don’t mindmind WhatWhat did we diddo weto do to anything anything she says. she says. you? you?

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And... chisomo And... chisomo wentwent away away

Don’t Don’t thinkthink about about whatwhat she said she. Isaid love . I love you with you with all my all my heart heart and Iand don't I don't mindmind notnot having having children children

She just She just said said thatthat I am Ibarren! am barren! You know You know I also I also lovelove children children like like every every woman. woman.

limbanliim and banitakondwa and takondwa wentwent back back homehome

takondwa, takondwa, People People lovelove to talk to talk but but theirtheir talk talk will not will not stopstop our love our. love.

limbanilimbani and takondwa and takondwa werewere happyhappy onceonce again.again.

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One One weekweek after, after, takondwa takondwa wentwent totheir totheir farmft arm o HARVEST to HARVEST oranges oranges

I should I should hurry hurry , my , my husband husband has ahas business a business meeting meeting to attend to attend . .

limbanilimbani was st was anding standing in front in front of of theirtheir house house waiting waiting for takondwa for takondwa to come to come . He didn’t . He didn’t wantwant to go toand go and leaveleave no one no one at home at home . .

takondwa takondwa wentwent homehome fastfast

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takondwa takondwa got there goton there time on time

here here she comes. she comes. She is never She is never late. late.

takondwa takondwa sweetheart sweetheart , let , let me run tme o the runbusiness to the business meeting.meeting I don’t .wIant don’t want to be late to. be late.

On his way Ontohisthe waymeeting to the, meeting limbani was , limbani was wondering wondering what kindwhat of business kind of business his his friends w friends anted t wo anted discuss towith discuss him. with him.

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limbani entered limbani entered the the meetingmeeting place place

ondered He wondered if his if his nds w friends anted t wo anted buy to buy the y all ieldthe he ygets ield he gets m his from farm, his farm,

Or if they Or wif anted they t wo anted to offer him ofsome fer him money some money to invest toininvest his farming in his farming business.business.

I see them I see in them in the corner the corner

Hello Hello limbani limbani

Hello

Hello

Long time Long my time my friends! friends! What What businessbusiness do you do you have for have me? for me?

Finally, Finally,

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And then, And then,

You seeYou limbani, seechimwemwe limbani, chimwemwe AND I have ANDbeen I have been thinkingthinking about yabout ou. We know you. We you know areysad ou are sad becausebecause your wife your is infertile wife is infertile . Let’s help . Let’s help

What? What?

chikondichikondi IS RIGHTIS . We RIGHT think . We you should you leave shouldthat leave th miserable miserable woman you woman haveyo as a wifeas . a wife.

Let meLet tellme tell you something you something , , I can never Okay!!! Now Okay!!! I Now II can never leave my leave wife.my wife. see thesee kind the kind Infertile Infertile or or of business of business not, I love not,her. I love her. you called you called me for! me for!

Not allNot all women are women are barren, barren, leave lea her. her.

Let’s Let’s leave this leave this discussion discussion here. here.

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The next Themorning next morning , limbani decided , limbani decided to takethis o twife ake his wife akondwatakondwa to the t hospit o thealhospit to seek al tsome o seek medical some medical help. help.

takondwatakondwa mylove, mylove,

I promise I promise to to do everything do everything for youft or o be you to be treated treated . .

Thank you Thank you limbani mylimbani my everything everything . .

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At the hospit At the al hospital

They asked They to asked talk totoa talk to a reproductive reproductive health physician health physician Let us Let us see if the see if the Gynaecologist Gynaecologist is around,is hearound, he will help. will help.

I hope this I hope this is not is not serious. serious.

Don’t worry Don’t w my love my lo

The gynaecologist The gynaecologist I will care I will care for her no for her no matter what matter . what. Hello Hello Hello

Hello

Doctor, Doctor, I have brought I have brought my wife for my treatment wife for treatment , , we think she we think is she is infertile.infertile. 14 14

That’s okay That’ , buts yokay ou , but yo cannot tell cannot before tell befo we do tests. we do Ittests. It might be might you who behas you who h infertility infertility . .


AFTER DOING AFTER ALL THE DOING ALL THE REQUIRED TESTS, REQUIRED IT TESTS, IT WAS limbani WASWHO limbani HAD THE WHO HAD THE PROBLEM THAT PROBLEM WAS CAUSING THAT WAS CAUSING THE INFERTILITY THE INFERTILITY . limbani . limbani HAD A LOW SPERM HAD A LOW COUNT SPERM . COUNT. THE DOCTOR THE TOLD DOCT THEM OR TOLD THEM THAT INTRAUTERINE THAT INTRAUTERINE INSEMINATION INSEMINATION (IUI ) (IUI ) PROCEDUREPROCEDURE IS REQUIRED ISTREQUIRED O TO BE DONE. BE DONE. limbani AND takondwa limbani AND AGREED takondwa TOAGREED TO THE PROCEDURE THE PROCEDURE . .

What? Me?What? Me? No way. No way. A man is never A man is never infertile.infertile.

THE DOCTOR THE TOLD DOCT THEM OR TOLD THEM THAT MANYTHAT CASESMANY OF CASES OF INFERTILTYINFERTIL Are TREAT TY ABLE Are TREATABLE ONCE theyONCE are Dthey IAGNOSED are DIAGNOSED EARLY. EARLY.

I have never I have never seen oneseen one Men too can Menbe too can be infertileinfertile infertile...infertile Let us ... Let us man in myman inhope my you hope two are you two are life. life.

HE MENTIONED HE MENTIONED THE THE FOLLOWINGFas OLLOWING the major as the major CAUSES OF CAUSES INFERTILITY OF INFERTILITY ; ; - POOR NUTRITION - POOR NUTRITION - UNTREATED - UNTREATED SEXUALLY SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED TRANSMITTED DESEASES DESEASES SUCH AS CLAMYD SUCHIAASAND CLAMYDIA AND gonorrhoea, gonorrhoea, - CONSEQUENCE - CONSEQUENCE OF OF INFECTIONSINFECTIONS CAUSED BY CAUSED BY PRACTICE OF PRACTICE FEMALEOF FEMALE GENITAL MUTIL GENIT TION, AL MUTIL UNSAFE TION, UNSAFE ABORTION OR ABORTION UNSAFE OR UNSAFE DELIVERY. DELIVERY. - the use - the of herbal use of herbal douches and douches enemas andwhich enemas which led to pelvic led to infections pelvic infections and tubaland blockage. tubal blockage.

let us let us hope so. hope so.

- EXPOSURE - EXPOSURE TO SMOKING T,O SMOKING, LEADED PETROL LEADED AND PETROL OTHERAND OTHER ENVIRONMENT ENVIRONMENT AL POLLUTANTS. AL POLLUTANTS.

i did not i did not HE TOLD THEM HE TTHAT OLD THEM ONCETHAT ONCE know this.know this. YOU GO FORYOU REGULAR GO FORCHECK REGULAR CHECK UP AND CONSUL UP AND T EVERY CONSULT EVERY TIME YOU ARE TIME SICK, YOUYOU ARECAN SICK, YOU CAN EASILY PREVENT EASILYYOURSELF PREVENT YOURSELF FROM HAVING FROM INFERTILITY HAVING INFERTILITY . .

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limbani and takondwa limbani andthanked takondwa thanked the doctor the and doct went or home and went . home.


limbani and takondwa agreed to undergo the intrauterine insemination (IUI)procedure

limbani waited patiently.

the doctorplaced limbani’s sperm inside takondwa’s uterusto facilitate fertilization.


takondwa took aand pregnancy after ylimbani met chisomo chikonditest on the way to the market... fourteen days and she was pregnant. nine months after the intrauterine (iui) procedure, it wMy as friends, time to go to the hospit al infertility is not Doayou have asname for I have learnt that curse , it’ to give birth. a condition that affects both men and womenthis andlittle can becutie in womb? treated once someone seeks treatment early.the No one should be stigmatized because they are infertile.

I think I will name him atipatsa

Now I have learnt my lesson. What you are saying They both smiled and is right. went on...

apologize or the bad ords and oul mouth.

The End 19

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limbani and takondwa were limbani and takondwa agreed to undergo the intrauterine insemination (IUI)proced happy No limbani, you are more I am happy, than a father now I am a father.

limbani waited patiently.

limbani smiled.

You were more than a father even before we had this baby atipatsa

Yes, takondwa mylove. You are also more than a mother.

the doctorplaced limbani’s sperm inside takondwa’s uterusto facilitate fertilization.

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One day,limbani met chisomo and chikondi on the way to the market...

My friends, I have learnt that infertility is not a curse, it’s a condition that affects both men and women and can be treated once someone seeks treatment early.No one should be stigmatized because they are infertile.

Now I have learnt my lesson. What you are saying is right.

I apologize for the bad words and foul mouth.

The End 19


limbani and takondwa were happy No limbani, you are more than a father

I am happy, now I am a father.

Spread the word to the world with us. Say no for infertility stigma

OUR HASHTAGS #NoToInfertiltyStigma #MoreThanAMother #MoreThanAFather limbani smiled.

You story were more Share your with us on social media and use the above hashtags than a father Yes, takond and let the world know that infertility affects both men and women even before equally. No woman or man should suffer stigmatisation due tomylove. You a we had this also more inferility.baby atipatsa

than a mothe

Copyright © 2018 by Merck Foundation

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below. Merck Foundation gGmbH, is a non-profit organization and the Philanthropic arm of Merck KGaA. E-mail: info@merck-foundation.com | www.merck-foundation.com

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Limbani’s Story Limbani’s Story How love withstands and conquers all. You will discover how love is everything.” the author

This book is a property of A Story of love that stood the test of time Written and illustrated by: Dr. Thomas MUYOMBO


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