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A parenting approach with pace Normandie Wragg Chief Executive Nugent
After a roller-coaster year for most families and parents alike, with new and sometimes hectic homeschooling dynamics thrown in, many can be forgiven for not sticking to their regular parenting techniques and looking for advice. Originally developed by psychologist Daniel Hughes, PACE (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy) is an attachment based therapeutic parenting approach, which embodies a way of thinking, feeling, communicating and behaving as a parent that aims to make the child feel safer. PACE focusses on the whole child, not simply the behaviour and helps children to feel more secure with significant adults around them and reflect upon their thoughts, feelings and behaviour. By using PACE most of the time, parents can reduce the level of conflict, anxiety, defensiveness and withdrawal that tends to be present when trying to support a child with developmental trauma. From using this approach, more attuned, reflective, empathic and contingent responses leads over time to more secure attachment, the development of a more positive internal working model and improved emotional regulation abilities. This psychological intervention approach has the most evidence base regarding effectiveness in relation to developmental trauma, particularly with younger children, where individual therapy can be hard to engage in and tolerate. Parental emotional well-being and self-care Parental self-care and emotional regulation is heavily promoted within therapeutic parenting approaches.
Investment in this for a small amount of time daily can help prevent compassion fatigue and burn out, help with keeping calm and regulated during an incident, and be protective of your relationship with your children. It is important to take some time out daily to nurture yourself. If you are constantly pouring from an empty cup, you are far more likely to become reactive in the face of any challenges and may not respond in a way that is most conducive to keeping things as calm as possible. Self-care can range from anything, such as a few minutes spent practicing relaxed breathing to having a walk, engaging in something creative or chatting with a friend. When you are time poor, even just the simple act of twice a day putting your hand on your chest or stomach and taking five breaths in and out can be incredibly helpful. Also, taking a minute to understand and name how you are feeling - name it to tame it - such as, ‘this is frustration rising’, gradually calms the amygdala (part of brain that is responsible for fight, flight or freeze responses) down and makes it less reactive over time, which is very beneficial for the nervous system. Looking after yourself puts you in a better place to look after the little people in your care. Article by Nugent Adoption. If you would like more information about starting your adoption journey and giving children a chance to grow and dream then get in touch with our friendly, dedicated team. 01744 613 041 adoption@wearenugent.org nugentadoption.org
The pandemic has shone a bright light on the shortcomings and fragilities of our social care system and underlined the woeful lack of sustained investment in social care provision over the course of the last decade. There are clearly momentous challenges within the sector to overcome – with thousands of vulnerable children still in unregulated accommodation up and down the country. We also still see a worrying shortage of places nationally and a dearth of adequate placements for children who would benefit from staying closer to ‘home’. This situation has forced some looked-after children to take up placements hundreds of miles from where they are from. Whilst this can be an intentional and therapeutic decision, it is not always. If we are to recover from this crisis, we must also address longstanding failings within the social care system. 2021 must be the year we change gear and take action. Back in January, I enthusiastically welcomed Gavin Williamson’s launch of and commitment to a wholesale independent review of children’s social care – with the underlined ambition to ‘radically reform the system’ and thus ‘improve the lives of England’s most vulnerable children so they experience the benefits of a stable, loving home’. I was particularly encouraged by the ‘call for advice’ that Chair of the Review, Josh MacAlister, issued to help shape the early work of the review. This is something I fully intend to pursue. Ours is a complex sector, characterised by a cacophony of local authority operated children’s homes as well as a large number of privately owned children’s homes. There are also a handful of charitable organisations operating within the sector, such as Nugent. This is why I have recently opted to join the board of the Independent Children’s Homes Association (ICHA). I see collaboration and the establishment of corporate-charity partnerships as a route to renewed sector innovation, the proliferation of best practice and the development of much needed applied research activity. In forthcoming weeks and months ahead, I will be calling upon ICHA colleagues and sector allies to join me in collaborating for the benefit of all children. I will also be calling upon our faithful community of donors and supporters to rally behind our children’s homes so that we can ensure they remain stable loving environments where all young people feel safe and welcome. If you would like to find out more about Nugent and our Children’s Homes, please visit: www.wearenugent.org If you could find it in your heart to support Nugent this year, please email fundraising@wearenugent.org or call 0151 261 2000.
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