FEATURING an excerpt from the book!
TH E S TO RY O F M AR R IAG E
$ 5 DAT E IDEAS
REAL LOVE STORIES
COUPLE ACTIVITIES
�including�
A BEHIND THE SCENES LOOK AT THE STORY OF MARRIAGE CURRICULUM TAPING WITH JOHN AND LISA BEVERE!
RESOURCES
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RELIVE THE MOMENTS List the top 5 moments you've shared as a couple.
Most Vulnerable TH E M A K I N G O F THE STORY OF MARRIAGE
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
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CONTENTS O U R S TO RY 12 HANK & LORRAINE
Living proof that you can recover from a bad first impression!
16 BRANDON & OCTAVIA
How Cajuns fall in love!
26 JOHN & MICHELLE
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How to begin a lasting legacy!
M ES S EN G ER INTERNATIONA L
A C T I V I T I E SHappiest
D AT E I D E A S
1. 2. YOU: 14 GET TING TO KNOW FAVORITES 3. Learn those little details 4. that make your spouse uniquely them. 5.
29 LOVE NOTE TEMPL ATE
We tell you what and where, all you have to do is write it!
10 $5 DATES Now there is no excuse! 11 RE-CREATE THE DATE Reimagine your first, worst, and favorite dates!
H OW TO
CONNECT FOLLOW LISA BEVERE ON FACEBOOK FOLLOW JOHN BEVERE ON FACEBOOK
FOLLOW LISA BEVERE ON TWITTER FOLLOW JOHN BEVERE ON TWITTER
READ THE M SERIES BLOG Insights and encouragement to build your marriage!
FOLLOW LISA BEVERE ON INSTAGRAM FOLLOW JOHN BEVERE ON INSTAGRAM
JOIN OUR MAILING LIST Get involved and access more materials!
MEET THE
TEAM HANNAH G. CUSACK | Project Manager SARAH WAGLE DESIGN | Graphic Design ALL AN NYGREN | Creative Director JAYLYNN WIDMARK | Editor JOEL YANKE | Photographer/Videographer
Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. P L AY B O O K
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�marriage�
THE MAKING OF
THE STORY OF
YOU MAY BE ASKING, “Why another message about marriage?” This was our first reaction as well. There are three reasons we wrote this book. First, we felt God leading us to. Next, our children and staff asked us to. And finally, many of you requested it as well.
We felt there was an abundance of excellent marriage resources on the market, many of which we have benefited from ourselves. Yet when we looked a bit closer, we noticed a gap. We discovered that a number of these resources were written predominantly from the viewpoint of one spouse or the other. A great marriage is the product of great partnership, so we believe there is value in our being able to share on this topic together. We also know that every story is different—ours included. We are both, shall we say, strong-willed individuals. We have been married for more than three decades, and during that time, we have faced unique challenges. We realized that because our experiences were unique, our perspective would be as well. Furthermore, we wanted to encourage men and women to see that marriage is not a mold that confines them. We believe everyone has the creative license to design their marriage as best suits their individual needs and divine purpose. We hope this book helps you discover and write your unique story.
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�the taping�
Thirty couples. Seven hours. Six sessions. One shot...
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�how we�met� ONLINE IN A CHRISTIAN CHAT ROOM –KELVIN R.
SIX FLAGS. 1999. HE WAS SYLVESTER THE CAT IN THE LOONEY TOONS SHOW & I WAS A DANCER IN ANOTHER SHOW. IT SO WAS NOT "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT." I THOUGHT HE WAS TOO SHORT AND HE THOUGHT I WAS TOO TALL. –KELSEY M. I WAS HER MATH TUTOR. –BYRON M. WE MET AT FRANK'S PIZZA IN DACULA, GA. I WAS FOURTEEN & HE WAS FIFTEEN. HE OPENED THE DOOR FOR ME & TOLD ME HE WAS GONNA MARRY ME. –JILL H. HE WAS AT HILLSONG COLLEGE IN AUSTRALIA AT THE SAME TIME MY YOUNGER SISTER WAS. HE BECAME LIKE A BIG BROTHER TO HER AND ONE DAY HE TOLD HER, "IT'S TOO BAD YOU DON'T HAVE AN OLDER SISTER!" SHE RESPONDED, "ACTUALLY, I DO!" –STEPHANIE W. I WAS WALKING BACKWARDS, TALKING TO FRIENDS, AND I BUMPED INTO HIM. WHEN I TURNED AROUND AND SAW WHO IT WAS…THAT WAS ALL IT TOOK. –BELINDA B. JULY 4, 1983…WE MET AND FIREWORKS LITERALLY WENT OFF! –JULIENNE S. HE BEING SHY CAME TO MY TABLE AND SAID, "I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE MARRIED, DATING, OR SINGLE BUT BEFORE I LEAVE I MUST TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!" –NATALIE Y.
WE MET AT THE GOLDEN ARCHES. (YEP, MCDONALD'S!) "GOLDEN ARCHES" SOUNDS A BIT MORE ROMANTIC… –MEGAN W. I WAS IN NURSING SCHOOL AND HE HAD MOVED HOME BECAUSE HIS DAD HAD BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH A BRAIN TUMOR. WE MET THE NIGHT HIS DADDY HAD SURGERY AND HE OFTEN TELLS ME THAT IT WAS THE NIGHT HE KNEW THAT GOD HEARD HIS PRAYERS. –CAROL D.
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HOW DID YOU MEET ?
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$5
02 Set up a tent in the living room and fill it with blankets and cushions instead of crashing on the couch.
01
IKEA! Drop the kids off at the free play area, grab some coffee (it’s free if you're a member), and share a slice of cake for $3.50.
03 Borrow a classic movie from the local library.
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Force a power outage! Spend a night at home with no electricity or technology. Put away the phones and enjoy a candlelight dinner and board games.
05 Send the kids to Grandma's. Get popcorn and a Redbox movie and enjoy a night in, just the two of you!
09 Take fun photos with your camera or smartphone. You can have your favorite shots printed for about ten cents each!
08 07 06 Take a picnic to the park.
Pancake day! Fire up the griddle and stack up the flapjacks, then snuggle while you watch a movie.
Buy a sled or toboggan and act like kids for a few hours.
10 Browse the magazines at a local bookstore over cups of coffee or tea.
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11 Attend an open mic event together. You can perform or just enjoy from the audience!
R E- C R E AT E
your first date
your favorite date
your worst date...and make it better
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Our Story:
Hank �lorraine� and
MARRIED: 26 years CHILDREN: 8 ( 5 girls, 3 boys)
Hank stood and asked if taking this test would help him find a wife. Many laughed;I was disgusted!
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SH E SA I D…
HE SAID…
When I first saw Hank Bond at a Christian leadership conference in February 1985, I was not impressed. I was sitting in the front row getting ready to take a leadership style personality test when the speaker addressed a guy named Hank who “had a question.” Hank stood and asked if taking this test would help him find a wife. Many laughed; I was disgusted! During a break, I was chatting with a group of girlfriends when Hank interrupted us to introduce himself to all of us. Now I was disgusted to the extreme.
I met Lorraine the weekend I declared myself eligible to be married. I had passed a career-training milestone in the Navy and, in my mind, had prepared my work in the field. Now I was going to build my house (see Proverbs 24:27).
One and a half years later I moved to New London, CT, to continue my work as a physical therapist. I became part of a Bible study group Hank was attending. At my very first meeting, an incident happened that increased my dislike of him. Yet as time went on, I began to see qualities in Hank that challenged my negative opinion. He was funny! He was thoughtful and kind. He was smart and had an intensity about him that was appealing to me. And he loved Jesus. By the spring of 1987, it was becoming obvious to everyone around us that Hank and I were drawn to each other. We had a defining conversation and made it clear that we were indeed interested in pursuing a deeper friendship. But a miscommunication occurred. I was urged to take the summer off from spending time getting to know Hank. Hank was encouraged to forget about me. During this break, I spent an extended time seeking God as to whether Hank was actually the one for me. It was the first time in my life that I heard the Lord speak to me. He said,” Now you are ready for Hank.” I knew Hank was going to be my husband. But I had agreed to no communication with Hank until Labor Day. It was a long, tiresome summer of waiting. Labor Day finally arrived, but the long-awaited communication didn’t come. At the end of September, I found myself sitting next to Hank at a friend’s wedding. It quickly became apparent there was a great need for us to talk. A meeting was arranged and light was shed on the misunderstanding and miscommunication. Peace was made, forgiveness granted, and a two-month courtship ensued. It was a fairy tale courtship for me. I truly felt I was a princess as love letters, roses, and hours talking over romantic dinners filled my life. On Thanksgiving Day 1987, Hank asked my father for my hand in marriage. Six months later, on May 21, 1988, we were married. I had never been happier. When I look back on that magical day, I sometimes wonder what my love for Hank looked like. At the time I felt it wasn’t possible to love him any deeper. Twenty-six years later, I think that love was a drop in the bucket compared to my love for him today. In these twenty-six years, we have had many adventures together as we moved eleven times with the Navy and had eight children. Hank has continually pursued my heart. He has led me to deeper waters with Jesus. He has challenged my thinking and encouraged me to fly in all areas of life. I am so thankful to God for giving me Hank. He is my greatest treasure, second only to Jesus.
It was during a break in New Hampshire when I saw an encircled gaggle of young career women engaged in conversation. I interrupted their chatter by stepping into the circle and introducing myself. I did not know this striking, beautiful woman yet, but Lorraine turned her far foot away from me to temporarily “leave” the circle so she could make herself immune to my advances. She was disgusted with my forward ways and she didn’t even know me…yet. Good start. A year and a half later the Lord set the conditions for a brilliant convergence of two future lovers by relocating Lorraine to my town through a new work opportunity. She joined a weekly Navigators Bible study that included a bunch of naval officers. I really enjoyed getting to talk to her and understand how she thought and what she held dear. I remember thinking that Lorraine was so different from the other girls I had known, so much more purposeful and so much more fun. The Lord engineered a late night rescue I was able to participate in after Lorraine’s car broke down on New Year's Eve. Now, by providence, I had caught her attention. Several months later I realized I wanted to pursue Lorraine more seriously. We had a conversation and shared mutual feelings. This conversation happened on the same night of a group outing at an amusement park, where I made sure that I stood near her in each line so that I could go on every ride in the park seated next to her! We put the brakes on pursuing our relationship over the summer, but when I sat next to her at a wedding reception in the early fall, all of my feelings for and interest in her shot into highest orbit. I called my parents and told them about this wonderful woman I knew would soon become my wife. I was very busy with several short submarine deployments in the fall, but I bought an engagement ring. Within a few weeks, during my submarine’s visit to a stateside port of call, I phoned the jeweler and told him to double the size of the diamond. (What was I originally thinking? What I have determined is that when it comes to diamonds, go bigger.) Our courtship in the fall of 1987 and wedding in May 1988 composed one of the most exciting and delightful seasons of my life. It was a time when I experienced God’s goodness and loving-kindness in the most personally fulfilling way. I realized He really did love me. Why? Because this beautiful and wonderful Lorraine was so perfectly designed by God to respond to me in love and align herself with me. She was willing to hitch up with me for an unknown, but certainly, I thought, spectacular future! I remember both of us thinking at the time, with ardent spirits, The two of us are going to change the world. And I believe we are doing just that.
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GETTING TO KNOW YOU Fill in your favorites below.
day of the week
beverage
ice cream flavor
color
HER
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�favorites HIM
job animal outfit holiday meal
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Our Story:
brandon �octavia�
and
MARRIED: 4 years CHILDREN: 1 daughter
I asked her out to a homecoming week event—casually mentioning I was the reigning homecoming king—and she turned me down.
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SH E SA I D…
HE SAID…
Brandon and I met in the quaint town of Natchitoches, Louisiana. He was attending Northwestern State University at the time while I was working at a coffee shop located across the street from campus. I went to work on October 15, 2005, not knowing that my world was about to be changed forever.
It was my senior year of college in north Louisiana. While in a coffee shop interviewing for an internship, I noticed this beautiful smile behind the counter. I made my way to the register and began nervously interrogating this girl whom I had never noticed on campus. “What’s your name? Do you attend Northwestern? What’s your major? I’ve never met you before.” (This was, of course, all in one breath!)
He came to the counter asking (all in one breath), "What's your name? Where are you from? Why aren't you in school? Did you do something wrong? Because I am on the disciplinary appeals committee. Maybe I can help you get back in school." I remember thinking, He is really handsome and well-spoken. Is he just being nice or is he flirting with me? About a week later Brandon, then Mr. NSU and homecoming king, was handing over his scepter. I received a call from a 337 area code. It was my dear friend Latory, who was utilizing Brandon's cell to call me. Her next words were, "Girl, he’s here! Come and meet him!" I reluctantly went and met them at Boogie on the Bricks (a local event held at the Natchitoches riverfront area.) When I arrived, Latory introduced me to Brandon Cormier. He was just as kind and energetic as the day at the coffee shop! After we met he walked me to my car to grab a jacket. Once we returned from our walk, Brandon and his friends began singing praise and worship songs—right in the middle of the street! They were jumping, spinning, and dancing around, but seriously praising God...in public! I had never seen such a thing! I mean, I worshiped at home alone or in church, but never in a random, public area! There was something different about them. I saw joy. I saw freedom, and I wanted it. A short while later that same night, Brandon asked me for my phone number, and then I knew—yes, he was flirting with me from the very beginning! After dating off and on for four years, Brandon popped the question and I gladly said yes. On March 27, 2010, we tied the knot! Brandon and I learned so much about prayer and the art of communication during the first couple years of our marriage. I suffered with health issues and walking in my God-given identity. He was juggling being a full-time youth pastor and finishing graduate school at ORU while learning how to be a husband and provide. During our second year of marriage, God changed our world by giving us the opportunity to move to Colorado Springs for new ministry opportunities. Since then we have been blessed with a baby girl! Riyan Nicole is the perfect addition to our family. Brandon and I are currently growing in our love, respect, and honor for one another. He is an incredible husband and father. I love spending my life with this man.
I didn’t see Octavia again until nearly a week later at the library. I asked her out to a homecoming week event—casually mentioning I was the reigning homecoming king—and she turned me down. A few days later, after the homecoming football game, we bumped into each other at an outdoor college event. After the event concluded, I introduced Octavia to my campus ministry friends. We then realize that a mutual friend had been trying to connect us with one another for a couple of months. That night, I asked her out to a movie, and again, she turned me down. Her reason was that she had to teach Sunday School the next morning. I replied by informing her that I had early church, and an afternoon leadership meeting, and Sunday night service— still, no luck. We did, however, enjoy a long walk to her car that night. She agreed to come to my church the following night. I soon began frequenting that little coffee shop across from my college campus, and we became “Facebook official”! We actually broke up a couple of times, and during those seasons, we remained good friends. Then I received a phone call informing me that Octavia’s apartment was destroyed in a fire. I vividly remember driving up to her complex and seeing her hands raised to the heavens—tears flowing down her face—worshiping God. There was something solid about the character of this woman that strongly attracted me. Both of us spent five months completing a discipleship school facilitated by Youth With a Mission. I remember that countless times during the weekends, I would find Octavia in the prayer room crying out to the Lord. She was a woman of prayer. After YWAM, I began strongly pursuing her. I recall reading dating books and finding out that the person I married must be my choice—in the same way that Adam chose Eve. As I reflected on all of the amazing moments we shared, the person I was in her presence, my ministry call, and her consistent respect towards me, my choice was made. My friends and I formulated an elaborate proposal that would take place in the prayer chapel of the YWAM Tyler base years after we graduated. Octavia returned with me to the base under the guise that we were visiting former leaders. Instead, she walked into a prayer chapel with flowers, pictures of us, and hidden cameras. After she said yes, professional fireworks were emitted over the lake. We became “Facebook official” in marriage on March 27, 2010!
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GETTING TO KNOW YOU Fill in your favorites below.
cheap restaurant
fancy restaurant
place to relax
vacation spot
HER
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�places� HIM
clothing store city state country planet
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A N EXC ER P T F RO M
THE STORY OF MARRIAGE THE CHINES E R ES TAU R ANT - JOHN & LISA BE VE RE When we were first married, we had a special spot where we would go to talk about our future. It was a little Chinese restaurant not far from our apartment. We were fresh out of college, and our finances were so tight that we would split a single order of mu shu chicken with an extra pancake and extra plum sauce. It was a quiet and humble, yet foreign, setting that encouraged a young couple to dare to dream of lands and hopes far away as they sipped tea. At the time we didn’t know much, but we were sure of one thing: we wanted to serve God together with all our heart, mind, and strength. We passionately desired to do life and family well. It would be correct to say we didn’t know where we would journey to or land in life, but we knew how we wanted to travel. We wanted to live in such a way that God could establish a new legacy through us.
HE SAID: I come from a great family background. My parents have been married for over sixty-five years. My father has faithfully loved and provided for our family, and my mom is the image of a classic homemaker. My parents have modeled many wonderful things about marriage and life for me, and I will be eternally grateful for their example.
SHE SAID: I come from a very different family dynamic. John’s parents seem perfect when compared to my family, which was ravaged by alcoholism, adultery, abuse, betrayal, greed, loss, and divorce. As John and I started our life together, it was obvious that I didn’t have any experiential understanding of what a healthy family looked like; but I did have a desperate longing to be part of one.
As we talked in that Chinese restaurant, we knew we wanted to do marriage differently. Even though we had the utmost respect for the way John’s parents had done marriage, their model wasn’t right for us. We both knew there was more to marriage than what we’d seen; there was a divine calling upon the institution itself. Marriage was not only about us being together the rest of our lives; it was also about building an eternal legacy through our union. Of course this would include our children and our children’s children, but it would also include impacting numerous other lives. We began to paint a vision for our marriage. We asked one another questions, set parameters, and dreamed as big we could. We agreed that our primary goal was to serve God together and honor Him with our choices. Everything else would have to be run through that filter. Over the course of thirty-two years of marriage, we have experienced seasons when the only reason we chose to stay together was because of our commitment to honor God.
SHE SAID: There was a period of time when I felt no love for John, and John actually told me he did not feel love for me. He threw himself into an intense travel schedule while I stayed behind with our young children.
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MES S ENGER INTERNATIONAL
To be honest, I saw no hope for love in the future. My soul was scarred by a season of wounding. I felt utterly abandoned both emotionally and physically. If I had ever considered divorce to be an option, I would have gladly taken that route. I had no vision for our marriage, just a faded shadow of what might have been. At one point I actually thought, God, I will stay in this marriage as long as You promise me I won’t have to live with John in heaven. I felt so alone, and it is hard for minister’s wives to share their pain with anyone.
AT ONE POINT I ACTUALLY THOUGHT, GOD, I WILL STAY IN THIS MARRIAGE AS LONG AS YOU PROMISE ME I WON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITH JOHN IN HEAVEN.
HE SAID: I too battled hopelessness in that time. I felt I could do nothing right in Lisa’s eyes, and I believed my assessment was accurate due to the lack of respect and strong words with which she spoke to me. We were spiraling downward fast, and neither of us saw any potential for love, respect, and nurture to be restored.
The emotional and spiritual pain of that season seemed unbearable. It was awful, but it was only a season, and seasons change. A time of weeping may endure for a very long night, but we have God’s promise that joy comes in the morning (see Psalm 30:5). Looking back, that time period seems surreal, like it happened to another couple. By God’s grace, we remained faithful to our goal of honoring God. Through genuine repentance of our selfishness, coupled with obedience to godly wisdom, we have watched our marriage and love grow to a place of great strength. One of the driving forces that kept us going through that difficult season was our view of life. We didn’t see it as a seventy- or eighty-year time span; rather we saw it through an eternal perspective. Seventy or eighty years is but a vapor compared to eternity. Scripture teaches that what we do with the cross determines where we will spend eternity; however, the way we live as believers determines how we will spend eternity. Paul writes: …We would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. …For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body. (2 Corinthians 5:8, 10 NLT) It’s clear Paul is not writing about unbelievers, for when unbelievers are absent from the body, they are not in the presence of the Lord. He is addressing those who have come into the family of God through the saving grace of Jesus Christ. We will stand before Him and give an account of the decisions we made and the manner in which we lived as believers. The judgments Christ renders will result in eternal rewards or eternal losses, ranging anywhere from having our life’s labor burned up all the way to seeing it eternally rewarded and even reigning beside Him throughout eternity. Knowledge of this fundamental doctrine kept us on course. Neither of us wanted to give an account before the throne of Jesus as to why we desecrated His art of the union of marriage. (For more on the Judgment Seat, see John’s book Driven by Eternity.) After our goal of honoring God, our second aim was to be more in love with each other at the end of our journey than we were at the beginning. This goal has compelled us to move through difficult times and love one another even when we haven’t felt like it. C.S. Lewis wrote: Love…is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other.* There have definitely been times when we have not liked each other. But God graced us to navigate those rough moments, and He will do the same for you. We like and love each other more today than we did on our wedding day—that’s the truth! And we look forward to growing more in love with each passing decade. * C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 2001), 109. P L AY B O O K
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the
Story of M arriage Package
LOCATED AT THE GATEWAY TO THE COLORADO ROCKY MOUNTAINS, The Broadmoor's dazzling character and breathtaking setting has continually made it the destination for the most seasoned of travelers. With a legacy of impeccable service, the resort's 3,000 lush acres and varied accommodation, activity, and dining offerings make for an unforgettable escape that both delights and inspires.
As the longest-running winner of both the AAA Five-Diamond and Forbes Five-Star awards, The Broadmoor takes pride in delivering experiences that are more than the very best. Relax in the shadow of the mountains or play behind the peaks. From a Five-Star spa treatment to tackling the white-waters of the Arkansas River, there's something for everyone at this legendary getaway.
THE STORY OF MARRIAGE SPECIAL PACKAGE INCLUDES: Special upgrade to a Superior Room $50 daily resort credit per day
BOOK YOUR STAY TODAY!
RESERVATIONS: (888) 974-4990 When you call, be sure to mention the Messenger International/Story of Marriage package.
PROLOGUE Prologue is a free series of special messages on marriage from members of the Messenger International team. Hear what they had to say!
JAYLYNN WIDMARK Producer/Editor SHE SAID YES Marriage is intended to enlarge our lives, yet many women fear that saying “yes" to marriage will mean saying “no" to their God-given strengths and dreams. We all have a part to play in empowering God’s daughters to lead and love.
MAT T GIOIA Church Relations Manager MARRIAGE: SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED Building a house is hard work. Can you imagine how difficult it would be without a blueprint? In this message, discover the instructions needed to build a strong, lasting, and enjoyable marriage.
DAVID G UTIERREZ Church Relations Rep DESTINED MARRIAGE Most believers have a firm grasp on the importance of discovering their purpose. But how many of us are asking God about the calling of our marriage? Your marriage has a God-given destiny. It’s time to discover and live it out.
ALL AN NYGREN Creative Director FOR AND TO HIS GLORY Everything exists to magnify the truth, beauty, and all-encompassing greatness of God. What we’ve experienced is a tiny view of all God intends to reveal about Himself through marriage.
HANNAH CUSACK Marketing & Events WAITING WELL It’s not easy to wait for something you know God has planted in your heart. Silence the doubts that erode the hopes and dreams to which you are called. Be found in the company of those who have the endurance to wait well.
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GETTING TO KNOW YOU Fill in your childhood likes and loves below.
tv show
best friend
toy
game
HER
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�childhood HIM
holiday school subject book dinner dessert
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Our Story:
john �michelle� and
MARRIED: 28 years CHILDREN: 2 (+12)
It was through both of our brokenness that we were able to heal as one.
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SH E SA I D…
HE SAID…
It was February 9, 1986, on a warm night in Waikiki when a tall, handsome gentleman caught the attention of the group of girls I was strolling with. I have no doubt now that it was the Lord who crossed our paths and gave us the courage to speak to one another. John asked for my phone number, and my decision to give it to him was the beginning of a now twenty-eight year journey—one that would prove that our love and God’s plan would transcend any obstacle that came our way, even when the odds were stacked high against us.
My first encounter with Michelle was in downtown Waikiki while I was serving in the Army and stationed at Schofield Barracks. At first glance, she was the most beautiful of the group that crossed my path that day. More importantly, she exuded a confidence that seemed as attractive to me as her appearance.
How could two people from opposite sides of the track become one? John grew up in the ghetto, playing on concrete playgrounds, surrounded by drugs and alcohol, his father absent. I grew up in a middle-class military family that traveled the world and ate dinner together nightly. Despite our social and financial class distinctions, we soon found out that we both had a lot of insecurities, and this made for some very spirited battles. I was a feisty, strong-willed young woman and John was a quiet, meek young man of very few words. I’m sure you can guess who won those spirited battles! It was in January 1993 that the Lord through His Word began to help me battle through the thicket of the things I had become. In September 1994—two months before our second daughter was born—John, recognizing the drastic change he had witnessed in me, made the decision to accept Jesus as his Savior. Unaware of what our future held, we grew exponentially in the Word. As painful as it may have been, healing came to the deepest, most broken parts of us individually and as a couple. It was through both of our brokenness that we were able to heal as one. In January 2000, after our being plugged into our local church for several years and serving in various leadership roles, a member of our church offered John a job that would turn our comfortable lives into a chance for us to grow in our faith. Being led by the Lord, John accepted the job and we all headed back to New Jersey. We lived less than twenty minutes from John’s old neighborhood. After being gone for seventeen years, we got a first-hand look at John’s family and the devastating effects of raising children in broken homes. There were no fathers present, and the mothers were addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. It was then that we realized and understood the magnitude of the Lord’s healing process in our marriage. Before we knew it, our family of four had grown to sixteen. Our marriage, though hopeless at times and tried by fire, became the thing the Lord would use to be a place of refuge, healing, and restoration to a broken and fatherless generation. It is truly humbling and an honor to know that we did not choose Him but He chose us. I am forever grateful for the grace, truth, and love the Lord showed to us and poured into us, and that continues to sustain us.
To my immediate surprise, I realized that Michelle seemed as attracted to me as I was to her. It was surprising to me because of my insecurities and lack of confidence, which were due to being raised in an environment void of a godly father figure and basic life skills. Michelle, on the other hand, came from a more stable and structured military family that, although they didn’t follow the Lord as we do today, nonetheless instilled many solid core qualities and principles in her. Shortly after our encounter on February 9, 1986—seventy days later to be exact—we were married. What many predicted would be a short-lived union turned into God’s amazing handiwork of twenty-eight years and counting. Our incredible journey continued to Sparks, Nevada, where we were blessed with our first child, Kashelle Leilani. After four years and a job transfer, we relocated to Northern California where we both received Christ and were blessed again with our second daughter, Keiani Luz. Our time in California produced incredible fruit as well as daunting challenges. As Michelle and I grew in the Lord, we began serving in our home church. I began ushering and Michelle, incredibly full of the Word, was used by the Lord to speak at other churches and small groups. In the midst of our involvement in various ministries, the Lord was working on our marriage in ways that broke us to the point of submission to Him before we began operating as one. Shortly after that, a church member approached me with a job offer near my old stomping grounds in northern New Jersey. The Lord provided in miraculous ways as we began taking in kids from family members who had been in hopeless situations. In all, we ended up raising over twelve children along with our two daughters. Michelle and I had to rely on the Lord and each other to establish His standard in our household in order for healing and restoration to begin in the lives of children who had gone through experiences most people could not imagine. Although we had to endure countless trying situations, we stayed committed to the family, and more importantly to each other. God’s love that the kids witnessed in our marriage not only created hope in them, but also displayed a standard by which their future relationships should be measured. James 1:17 says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above” (NKJV). I thank God for the precious gift He has blessed me with in Michelle. I also thank Him for entrusting me by giving me stewardship of her. It is an honor that my responsibility as a husband is to love and cultivate her so that she can develop into the woman of God He has called her to be.
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RELIVE THE MOMENTS List the top 5 moments you've shared as a couple.
Most Vulnerable 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Most Romantic 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Happiest 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. DOWNLOAD
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ACTIVIT Y
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L I A M LOVE
My dearest
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Love, DOWNLOAD
ACTIVIT Y
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IN CLOSING OUR EARTH SAYS, “DIVORCE.” HEAVEN SAYS,,
“union.” “all things are possible.” “acceptance.” “I freely give.” “forgiveness.” “I will be your servant.”
OUR EARTH SAYS, “THERE’S NO HOPE.” HEAVEN SAYS,
OUR EARTH SAYS,“REJECTION.” HEAVEN SAYS,
OUR EARTH SAYS, “YOU OWE ME!” HEAVEN SAYS,
OUR EARTH SAYS, “VENGEANCE.” HEAVEN SAYS,
OUR EARTH SAYS, “I WON’T BE YOUR SLAVE.” HEAVEN SAYS,
OUR EARTH SAYS, “I DESPISE YOUR WEAKNESS.” HEAVEN SAYS,
“I see your potential, and my love covers your weakness.” “I want to meet yours.” OUR EARTH SAYS, “YOU DON’T MEET MY NEEDS.” HEAVEN SAYS,
These words may be inspiring on their own, but they are lasting and empowering when rooted in the deeper truth of God’s Word. We encourage you to embrace the language of heaven by learning to partner scripture with every attitude and declaration you bring into your marriage.
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THE STORY OF MARRIAGE THIS BOOK IS FOR
THOSE PREPARING TO MARRY, THE ALREADY MARRIED, and anyone who wants to gain a better understanding of marriage. Because we live in a day when there is so much divorce and distortion, many are afraid to even begin their stories. What you have seen need not define what lies before you. Then there are THOSE WHO FEEL TRAPPED in the middle of a chapter they don’t like. We don’t want you to close the book on your marriage. We want to help you turn the page. There are also COUNTLESS FRIENDS WHO BELIEVED THEIR LOVE STORIES WOULD NEVER END, only to discover the pages had been abruptly torn from their lives by divorce or the loss of a spouse. Your story isn’t over. We don’t have all the answers. Yet we decided to pen our story— including many of our most broken moments—because we know what we have lived and believe it will help others. Jesus still thinks marriage is a story worth telling. It is His framework for how He loves us.
WE PRAY THESE PAGES STIR FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE IN BOTH THE SINGLE AND MARRIED, BOTH THE YOUNG AND THE WELL ALONG IN YEARS.
WE DARE YOU TO DREAM AGAIN! AVAILABLE NOW! CLICK HERE TO ORDER TODAY!
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