A Map to a More Peaceful You by MessyCreative

A MAP TO A MORE PEACEFUL YOU

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Thank you for stopping by! It is awesome to see you here! My Name is Erin Smallbon and I am a Holistic Health Coach, business owner, blogger and Registered Nurse. It is wonderful to E-meet you! Are you ready to have a little more peace in your life? To seek a bit more contentment just being with you? To feel so in love with yourself that when you walk down the street, you smile at yourself just because? This Ebook is a guide to giving you permission to love YOU a little bit more. Well actually a whole tonne more, but I am happy for you to start small! I truly believe the path to self acceptance and self love will bring you all you seek in life. We are all striving for that special feeling. That feeling which says ‘I have made it’ and ‘I am enough’. We seek validation from everyone but ourselves and when they do not provide it to us then we are left feeling unworthy, unloved and miserable. We lose our power, in fact, we are actually giving it away! But things could be different. You could nurture, nourish and provide yourself with all that you need. All the acknowledgement, respect, worthiness and love can be found within you! You could feel and love everything about YOU, without needing those things from ANYONE else. Everything we desire lies in loving yourself first. Once we learn to be kind and gentle with ourselves, everything else flows from there. So, this Ebook is a guide. Read it front to back, read one step a day, implement it, refresh and do another one. Take a day, take a week, take a year. But just do not stop. Do not stop the journey to loving your gorgeous self and seeking some internal peace! Because you are beautiful. You are amazing! Everyone else knows it and now it’s time for you to know it too.

Erin x © Erin Smallbon 2014

FOR WOMEN WHO SEEK TO BE GROUNDEDeswellness.com.au AND BRAVE

My journey to a little peace I spent many years thinking thoughts about

The steps I give you in this book are some of

myself that really are horrible to even think

techniques I used to set me on my own path to

about now. I did not think I was pretty enough,

gaining a little bit of inner peace and self love.

smart enough or worthy enough for what I wanted from life. I didn’t even know that I had a real choice in what I could create for myself. I thought that what I had, was it! I did not feel brave or courageous or even able to dream about a life that could be different. People would say to me ‘Erin, the world is your oyster! Go and get it’. But I had no idea how! I had this feeling welling up inside me which was yearning for something more. I thought it was a new job or a new car or a different boyfriend. But really it was a yearning for a little bit of peace inside myself. I yearned for an absolute knowing that I was worthy of this life, my good fortune and the amazing things that I am blessed with. I wanted to know I was worthy of it all. So a little over 12 months ago, I took it upon myself to rewire my brain. To clear our the conditioned gunk I had living within my self. The limiting beliefs, bad feelings and an inner critic who loved to go to town on me. The persistence and hard work brought much turmoil to my life at the time, but the results have been beyond anything I could have imagined.

These days, peace is a natural part of my day. Do not get me wrong, I am as human as they come and there are days when I find myself in judgement of myself and others, but I have awareness of this and always seek to bring myself back to love. I now seek to nurture and nourish myself daily, knowing full well that if I am not feeling so great, then no one else around me will be any good either.

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ÂŠ Erin Smallbon 2014

THE STEPS

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1. DAILY RITUALS Do you have any rituals in your life? Rituals are long steeped in all that is sacred, magical and divine and I feel that they have really lost a lot of importance in our day to day living. But one of the first steps to loving yourself that little bit more, is establishing daily rituals that make you feel good. Rituals make you feel well, inspired and fill you with vitality. The magic of rituals is that after the initial ‘getting used to it’ period, it becomes something that you love and that you look forward to. You can’t wait to get up in the morning to meditate or journal or eat an amazing breakfast. You can’t wait to come home at night and take your puppy for a walk on the beach, feel the sand between your toes and the wind in your hair. I encourage you to find rituals that serve you and your health. For me, I love journaling and meditation in the morning. I do it every morning (well almost— nobody’s perfect!) and it is a special part of my day.

WHAT WOULD YOU LOVE TO ADD TO YOUR DAY? A MORNING OR EVENING WALK, YOGA, MEDITATION, JOURNALING? EXPERIMENT. FIND WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. BUT ADD A LITTLE RITUAL TO YOUR LIFE.

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2. MOVE YOUR BODY! Moving your body is not just about looking

If you are the former, consider changing your

good. Moving your body everyday does so much

exercise! If it is the latter, keep going! When you

more than that and it is for those purposes that

come from a space of love you will naturally love

I encourage you to move. Moving your body

what you do. You will love your body, love yourself

every day helps you to feel good, gets your blood

and you will exercise because it makes you feel so

flowing, releases stress and gives you beautiful

damn good. Thank your body for what it does for

positive endorphins that change your negative

you. It is a mighty machine and it deserves a pat

emotions to positive ones. So many people

on the back.

however exercise from a place of fear. For example: ‘I must exercise or I will get fat’. ‘I must exercise or my boyfriend wont like me anymore.’ ‘I must exercise to fit into my skinny jeans.’ These are all fear based reasons for exercising and if you exercise from this space, you will never enjoy it and it will always be a chore. How about finding an exercise you love and do that instead? How about moving your body because you love the way your feel after it? Or because you love your body so much that you want to keep it fit and strong? These reasons come from a space of love. Love for yourself and love for your body.

TAKE A LOOK AT THE EXERCISE YOU DO NOW, DO YOU LOVE IT? DO YOU HAVE TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO DO IT OR CAN YOU NOT WAIT TO GET OUT THE DOOR AND GET TO (INSERT YOUR CHOICE OF EXERCISE HERE)?

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3. LOVE THE ONE YOU’RE WITH Love the one you are with—and that means you!

in a million years will you do that? Observe your

You are the one you are with, every second of

thoughts that arise. Sit with them, acknowledge

every day. Do you treat yourself like you would

them and wonder at where they came from. You

your best friend? Do you speak to yourself in

do not need to react to them. Just accept that they

loving tones and sweet words? Or do you berate

are there for now.

yourself and say things you would not think in a million years about your friends let alone say them. You must be your own best friend. Love you the

Try it and see what you think. Sounds crazy I know and it may take a little bit of time to build up to it, but try it. Every day, three times over. Love the one you are with! You deserve it.

way you need to be loved. Hug you the way you need to be hugged. And talk to yourself the way you desire. Be your own best friend and believe in yourself. I would love to suggest to you one exercise which is from the amazing Louise L. Hay. It is the mirror exercise and she credits it as the single most transforming exercise she does with her clients. Notice your processes that come up after reading what I have asked you to do. Are you scared, fearful, think that I am super weird or think that never

STAND IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR WHEN YOU ARE FIRST OUT OF BED AND SAY TO YOURSELF THREE TIMES “(INSERT YOUR NAME HERE) I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND. WE DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER AND I THINK YOU ARE AMAZING, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU”.

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4. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS The energy of love is infinite, it is unconditional and it accepts everything. In that way, the acceptance of your feelings and emotions as they are, not good or bad, they just are what they are, is a part of self love. So sit with them, feel them fully. Allow yourself to ride the wave of what ever it is and then allow it to pass. Do not keep hold of it, allow it to move on. Children know how to do this! One minute they cry and then they are happy. They feel their feelings, communicate them and then let them go. Don’t drown them, distract yourself or ignore them. To judge your emotions as good or bad seals them in the box and allows them to fester. Resentment builds, you feel more discomfort, more pain and more stress.

SO NEXT TIME YOU HAVE EMOTIONS WELLING UP INSIDE YOU, TAKE YOURSELF AWAY FOR FIVE MINUTES AND BREATHE. FEEL THEM FULLY. ALLOW THE WAVE TO MOVE THROUGH YOU. THEY WILL MOVE ON AND FROM THAT PLACE OF RELEASE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED.

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5. TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE You are the most important person in your life

a loving perspective! Your feeling will always lead

and every time you betray yourself, you betray

you to wanting to feel good. And right now what it

love. You squash that inner child in you that does

desires is sleep and knowing you will wake up in

not want whatever is not right for you.

the morning feeling fresh and well!

They want to leave the party, leave the man who treats you like crap and hurts you. To think twice about the things you are consuming – maybe the drugs, alcohol, nicotine or sugar. You know the voice I am talking about? It is the voice of love. The voice that knows best and truly wants you to be happy. Have you ever been at a party and you are having a great time. But you suddenly have this feeling that you actually really want to leave. You don’t want to be there anymore. You want to be home, in bed with a good book and your cat, chilling out. You have been here long enough. But you don’t go. You stay, you keep drinking. You do not leave because you are afraid of what your friends may think of you. You stay through fear of judgement or fear of missing out. But this is not

DON’T DO THINGS OUT OF FEAR. PUT YOURSELF FIRST AND DO THINGS OUT OF LOVE. TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE.

TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE’ SHAKESPEARE

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6. YOUR PEACE TOOLKIT Do you know the things that you love to do? I mean really love to do? Things that light you up from the inside and make you feel awesome? Well those things are the things I want you to include in your peace tool-kit! They are the things I encourage you to do everyday! Or every second day! Basically as often as possible. As we grow older we seem to become programmed to struggle. We feel that everything is meant to be hard. If we have not struggled to achieve something then it was too easy. But life is not meant to be so hard! It can be a life full of challenges yes, but we can be fluid and flow with whatever comes our way. Begin to bring more fun and energy back into your days and life will seem all that more fun! »» Don’t be so serious »» Be aware of your energy and transform it. »» Dance, sing, love, run, jump »» Have dance breaks, bush walk, skinny dip, cry at the moon, buy yourself flowers. »» Walk in the garden, swim at the beach, visit friends, hug a tree, mountain bike. »» Toil the soil in your garden, plant a veggie patch, play with your kids, have sex.

WHAT WOULD YOU INCLUDE IN YOUR TOOL-KIT?

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7. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET We live a life of always wanting more. A new

»» Start a daily gratitude practice. Every morning or

car, home, job, partner. A new dress, phone,

night write down 5 things you are grateful for.

computer, more awesome friends, more money.

Do it with your kids or your partner.

Basically MORE of EVERYTHING.

Persistence is key here! Be kind and gentle to

But we live in an amazing time where we are some

yourself if you happen to fall off the wagon! It is ok.

of the luckiest people in the world and if you are reading this book you most likely have a beautiful,

Just stay conscious and aware! This is not about perfection!

secure existence which would be the envy of many. So, why do we not feel lucky? Why do we not feel happy and content with our lot in life? Why do we want more? You can begin to alter this mind set by taking on a mind of positive reflection and gratitude. We always seem to focus on what is bad, what we don’t have. We can be so negative. But try changing your mind set. »» When you see your friends on the weekend ask them ‘so, what’s new and good with you?’. »» When you go to work in the morning, tell a happy story that occurred on your way to work. »» Start focusing on all the wonderful things you do at work, rather than all the things you ‘think’ you do badly.

WHAT WOULD YOU INCLUDE IN YOUR TOOL-KIT?

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8. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH LOVE We are the average of the 5 people whom we

There can be a lot of fear around moving away

spend the most time with. Therefore how you

from relationships which no longer feel good to us.

feel in life is very dependent on the people

We may fear being friendless or being single

who are in your life. This means your family,

forever. Or we may fear what those people will say

friends and co-workers. Are you able to try and

about us. But when you free yourself from negative

ensure that the people you surround yourself

energy and remove things from your life, you

with are positive, passionate and energetic?

create space. Space for new experiences and new

Can you reduce the time you spend with people

relationships. This is what will occur for you! It may

who are negative, unfriendly or who make you

not happen immediately, but soon you will start

feel exhausted?

attracting people into your life who make you feel

You need people in your life who will inspire you, support you on your journey to wherever you

the way you want to feel! Trust that all will be well, because it will.

want to go and love the fact that you are brilliant, awesome and oh so fabulous. »» Choose your friends wisely. »» Remove toxic relationships from your life. You do not want their energy surrounding you. »» Have people in your life who inspire you. »» Bring romance and joy to your friendships. »» Love the people in your life and nurture them.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU AND WHO LOVE YOU BACK.

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9. RADICAL SELF CARE Radical Self Care is one of my favourite things.

It may be a tough ask to put yourself as your

It’s self care that is conscious, puts you first, has

number one priority. Especially if right now, in your

you as the number one priority knowing full well

reality, there may be a partner, children, a dog

that if you are not good, no one around you will

and a job which you feel come first. But if you are

be good either.

unable to make yourself number one, at least take

Examples of how you may look after yourself

yourself off the bottom of the list!

could be: »» Sticking to one glass of wine at dinner as two sends you over the edge »» Being spontaneous and going away for the weekend. »» Saying no to parties or events you do not want to go to »» Doing things that YOU want to do »» Doing what intuitively feels good for you »» Travelling a long way to eat at a good restaurant so you can eat really good food »» Having two hour long baths »» Being spontaneous and going away for the weekend »» Doing kitchen disco once a day!

CAN YOU FIND AN HOUR FOR YOU THIS WEEK?

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ÂŠ Erin Smallbon 2014

THE FINE PRINT

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HAPPY OR SAD? YOU CAN CHOOSE.

BE KIND AND GENTLE Turning your back on the ways of your life which may not serve you anymore to create new thoughts, practices, habits and routines can be tough. But the key is to be kind and gentle. Life is not a race. You do not need to get it right every time. You will have days where things are not so swell, this is just human nature. But remember you always have a choice. A choice to make different decisions, to have courage to treat yourself differently and to get your self care off the bottom of your to-do list. You can choose to be happy over being sad, joy over sadness, flexibility and flow over rigidity and resistance. Inner peace over inner turmoil. The choice is always yours to make. Take responsibility for your inner state of being. You are important, beautiful and amazing no matter what anyone else says. Its time you believed this too.

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ÂŠ Erin Smallbon 2014

YOUR MAP TO PEACE 1.

Develop daily rituals which serve you

Move your body every day in a loving way.

Tell yourself how much you love YOU every day.

Feel your feelings, fully and without judgement.

To thine own self be true.

Develop your own peace tool-kit

Change your mind set â&#x20AC;&#x201C; gratitude and positivity are the aim.

Surround yourself with positive people who inspire and lift you up.

Partake in radical self care â&#x20AC;&#x201C; because it rocks!

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ÂŠ Erin Smallbon 2014

“OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS NOT THAT WE ARE INADEQUATE. OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS THAT WE ARE POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE. IT IS OUR LIGHT, NOT OUR DARKNESS THAT MOST FRIGHTENS US. WE ASK OURSELVES, ‘WHO AM I TO BE BRILLIANT, GORGEOUS, TALENTED, FABULOUS?’ ACTUALLY, WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BE? YOUR PLAYING SMALL DOES NOT SERVE THE WORLD. THERE IS NOTHING ENLIGHTENED ABOUT SHRINKING SO THAT OTHER PEOPLE WON’T FEEL INSECURE AROUND YOU. WE ARE ALL MEANT TO SHINE, AS CHILDREN DO. IT’S NOT JUST IN SOME OF US; IT’S IN EVERYONE. AND AS WE LET OUR OWN LIGHT SHINE, WE UNCONSCIOUSLY GIVE OTHER PEOPLE PERMISSION TO DO THE SAME. AS WE ARE LIBERATED FROM OUR OWN FEAR, OUR PRESENCE AUTOMATICALLY LIBERATES OTHERS.” MARIANNE WILLIAMSON AUTHOR: A RETURN TO LOVE

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ÂŠ Erin Smallbon 2014

I WOULD LOVE TO WORK WITH YOU! This is just the tip of the iceberg! Want to dive deeper with me and see what is under the surface? Erin is a Holistic health coach and Registered Nurse on a love filled mission to help women fall back in love with themselves, to experience a level of health and vitality they never dreamed possible and to live a life that feels truly them. eswellness.com.au eswellness@outlook.com facebook/ESWellness Thank you for being here. Love and light. Erin xxx

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LASTLY... A THANK YOU! The generosity of others never ceases to amaze me and without it, I would hate to think of the world that we would live in! “My name is Vilde Indrehus, I’m 18 years old and I live in a small town called Holmsbu in Norway. Currently I do not go to school, so all my time goes to doing what I want to—which is Photography. Photography has been my hobby for a few years now. My father is a photographer, and he always wanted to teach me about photography. But I never really listened. Until a few years ago, when I started to feel interested. He tried to teach me different techniques, however I never really understood what he said. I started to go out and take pictures on my own, and I learned it in my own way.” We stumbled Vilde’s beautiful, seasonal photos of her, her friends and their home town of Holmsbu and nothing could have been more fitting for the Ebook. We love the opportunity to work with other independent women who are following their dreams. Thank you Vilde! flickr.com/photos/vildeindrehus/

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ÂŠ Erin Smallbon 2014