Taking the ego out of worship

Years ago, I worked as a composer on a film project. After many hours of work, I produced what I believed was the perfect soundtrack—it hit all the correct emotional moments, the mixing was skilful, the musicians performed their parts beautifully. Pleased with myself, I hit 'Send File', confident that the director would love it.

To my shock, the reply was the opposite: Thanks. It's nice, but not what this project requires.

Every professional artist is familiar with this scenario and must be careful not to let their perfectionism run away with them. The client's vision always comes first, even before their own artistic instincts. Why then would art produced to glorify the Lord be any different? After all, he is the ultimate director, the one who can see the big picture of our life's story.

Since that project, I have learned a lot as a musician and composer, and was eventually called to serve at the Methodist School of Music. With a platform like this, it is more important than ever to remember to take my ego out of the equation. It is not about me. Now, whenever I sit down to produce music, I ask myself these questions: How can I best convey the message that is being proclaimed? What skills in my toolbox can I use to achieve this? Will this inspire the people listening to it? Will this glorify and uplift God's name?

One inspiration I draw on comes from church music history itself. In the formative years of church music, the style of music employed was plainsong. This type of music had no accompanying instruments, no harmony, not even a time signature. The focus was always on the natural rhythm of the liturgical text instead of the music itself.

Although this feature of music has become less mainstream over time, I try to keep it in mind whenever working with text intended to be set to music. I ask: How can the music be used to enhance the listener's understanding of the text? Which words can be given more prominence? Which chord progression will highlight the message?

A quote from Matt Redman's song "Heart of Worship"—"I'll bring You more than a song, for a song in itself is not what You have required"—is a useful reminder.

Being blessed with the gift of music is a huge privilege. I believe that the best use of it is in praise to the one who gave it to us.

Ascenario I sometimes use when training counsellors is one of a family in conflict over a daughter's wish to live with her boyfriend. After a year of living at home since returning from three years of study abroad, the daughter says her boyfriend from overseas is moving to Singapore to work and they plan to live together. Her parents are taken aback as she had not shared much about the young man, or about moving in with him. The church-going family holds conservative views about co-habitation before marriage. To complicate matters, I add that the boyfriend is of African descent and has no professed faith.

My trainee counsellors are asked how they plan to work with such a family, following which they engage in role play as the counsellor and various family members.

I find it interesting to see how my trainees interpret and respond to the scenario. Many themes emerge through this exercise. For instance, the daughter's right to independence and recognition of the time for cutting the apron strings versus the need for her to listen to her parents' advice and importance of showing gratitude. Themes around racial prejudice and suspicions of foreigners also come up.

Sometimes, the "arguments" amongst trainees playing the family members become so intense that there are threats of disowning the daughter should she choose her boyfriend over her parents' wishes. This is often met with criticisms of bigotry, of old-fashioned and closed mindsets and even of the parents being poor Christian role models who care only about saving face and not their daughter's happiness.

There is no one correct resolution which the trainee counsellors are expected to arrive at, but a mutually acceptable resolution usually involves a strategy of compromise. It could take the form of the father agreeing to meet and get to know the daughter's boyfriend. Or the young man being prepared to visit the family's church and learn about the faith that means so much to them. Or the daughter being open to delaying moving in with her boyfriend whilst deepening their relationship. With time, small steps in compromising can lead to a narrowing of differences.

As we all know, not every family conflict ends in such a fairy tale-like manner. The critical ingredient is whether parties in conflict have an all-or-nothing or a winwin approach to their situation. Are they determined to have their own way at all costs, or do they believe that there is something deeper and more valuable in their relationship than the positions they each take?

The need to bridge and to live peacefully with differences is even more crucial in our world today. The East-West and NorthSouth divides, and gender and culture wars are but some of the differences at a transnational level. Within our own communities, how do we embrace diversity presented by various ethnic groups, by old and new, and by people of different gender orientation? I believe one starting point is to look for what we have in common. Then to appreciate what we value over and above our personal views, values and dreams. We also need to listen deeply and communicate clearly to deepen our understanding and affirm the bonds that we share. These are expressions of love for one another, a love that can help bridge differences.