People—Ashley Ho

Am I ready for motherhood?

Daryl and Ashley

I’ve always had mixed feelings about parenthood. I’ve heard from friends about the sleepless nights of looking after their newborns, the “terrible twos and threes”, navigating the education landscape in Singapore, and the challenges of communicating with sullen or rebellious teens. These are real struggles of parenthood, and parents now have to raise their children in a Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous (VUCA) world. I’ve also heard parents talk about the lack of personal time. However, on the flipside, I also hear about the joy, spiritual growth and faith journey of parenthood, leading to greater dependence on God, and understanding the unconditional love that our Heavenly Father has for all of us, his children.

When I first discovered I was pregnant, my husband, Daryl, and I were actually unprepared. “Are we ready to be parents? What do we do next?” We were thankful to have church mentors guide us and talk with us. As the parent carrying a miraculous new life in my body, hearing the heartbeat of my baby for the first time changed my perspective on being a mother. I embraced the fact that God has given me a great gift and is slowly preparing me for motherhood. During the tough and vulnerable first trimester, I learnt to depend a lot more on him, to pray more, especially for my baby, claiming the verses in Psalm 139. God told me, “It is not about what you do or don’t, but I am the one who gives life.”

There are so many things to think about, to prepare for, to decide and to learn about as parents-to-be— I’ve decided to take things one step at a time as I am assured that God will somehow give my husband, Daryl, and I the wisdom to go through each hurdle. We are also thankful for friends who are already parents, who have given us practical advice and shared their experiences with us.

Being an expectant mother during a pandemic has been quite stressful, but God has been good and protected me from the virus, despite being in close contact with family members who contracted Covid-19. I still attend church services and meet with small groups of friends, but I have been vigilant about who I meet and avoid crowded places.

Now that I am in my third trimester, Daryl and I continue to pray for our baby to be healthy and for her (yes, we are having a girl!) safe and smooth delivery. Most importantly, besides preparing physically for her arrival, we also have to prepare ourselves to be spiritual parents!