Valley Vows 2010

2010

A Methow Valley Wedding Resource Guide A supplement to the Methow Valley News

Valley Vows

Free

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Valley Vows 2010

Forever

As you plan for your lives together, know that we are working hard to ensure that the natural beauty, working farmlands, and clean owing rivers that have drawn you to the Methow Valley are protected for future generations, forever.

A wedding gift made in your honor to the Methow Conservancy or another local nonproďŹ t organization is a special way to ensure that what you love about the Methow Valley endures. www.methowconservancy.org

Valley Vows 2010

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Photo by Sue Misao

Take the plunge!

Methow Valley

Valley Vows 2010

Paul Butler, publisher John Hanron, editor Sue Misao, design Robin Doggett, ad sales Callie Fink, ad sales Dana Sphar, ad design/production Linda Day, ad design Marilyn Bardin, office manager Janet Mehus, office assistant

Contributors: Bob Spiwak Marcy Stamper Carol Stull Ashley Lodato Soo Ing-Moody Brandy Woras Ric Iribarren

Stacey Chisam

A publication of the Methow Valley News PO Box 97 Twisp, WA 98856 509.997.7011 editor@methowvalleynews.com www.methowvalleynews.com

There are a few landmark days in everyone’s life, but one day is certain to remain etched in your memory: the day you get married.

It is easy to get caught up in the preparations, to get lost in the planning, to become overwhelmed by the details.

No matter what happens on your wedding day – and something unplanned will happen – keep your sense of humor, stay relaxed and remember the reason you are here.

This issue of Valley Vows is designed to give you all the resources you need to plan your wedding in the Methow Valley. By choosing to be married in the Methow, with its natural beauty and ample supply of resources – from flowers and food to photography and music – you have set yourself up for a memorable day.

Don’t just dip your toe in the water of life, jump in!

–JH

Contents

Why here?

Why not?

Make a plan, Stan Stick to it

Internet dating Some success stories

How to KISS (Sort of)

Happy trails

Finding love on your favorite trail

Forever? Really?

How to make marriage last

Behind the scenes

What really goes on at a wedding

Weddings explained In full, strange detail

Directory of Advertisers Who they are

p. 4 p. 5 p. 6 p. 8 p. 10 p. 11 p. 12 p. 14 p. 15

Cover: Tom Gehring and Amanda Davis make it official in the Twisp park. Photo by Sue Misao

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Valley Vows 2010

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Wedding destination: Methow Valley

By Soo Ing-Moody

hereas a marriage is all about the journey, many couples are recognizing that as far as the wedding is concerned, it’s all about the destination. After all, it is the locale that sets the tone for the celebration and gives context to the memorable events of a wedding.

With awe-inspiring natural beauty, activities Photo by Ric Iribarren galore, and myriad The Methow Valley’s awe-inspiring natural beauty lures many wedding amenities all of- couples to choose it as their ceremonial destination. fering competitive prices, it is not sur“As a ‘city girl,’ I wanted prising that the Methow Valley it up. It was easy, no stress, and has become a very popular months later I was still finding all the amenities – caterer, out all the things people did tents, furniture, dinnerware, choice.

Long after the guests go while they were there – rafting, nice hotels and B&Bs,” admits home, the place where you horseback riding, hiking, and Lani Huston, “and I must say made your wedding vows will of course everybody was just in that the vendors I dealt with were all so helpful and friendly awe of the North Cascades.” always be a special place. it made the whole experience Similarly, after weighing feel right – and it seems like Donni and Adam Vognild were married in the Methow options for a spring wedding it was much cheaper than Valley in 2001 with the moun- in western Washington, Ross Seattle.”

Huston and her husband, tains as their personal back- and Nancy Latham concluded, drop – surrounded by a place “The Methow Valley has more Archer Brown, were wed in a beautiful outdoor summer they loved and where their to offer.”

“We wanted a beautiful ceremony on private property, relationship first began.

“We didn’t want the tra- outdoor setting, and since a lot surrounded by more than 100 ditional sort of wedding. We of our family and friends had of their closest family and wanted something special – a to fly in anyway, we decided to friends.

“We wanted to have a place we could gather with introduce them to the Methow our friends and family. It was Valley and make a trip out of it, good-sized, casual wedding perfect! People just made a va- and,” says Nancy. “We didn’t with the option for people cation of it and most stayed for want to have people come so to camp if they wanted to,” four days or so,” says Donni. far, spend a lot of time and says Brown. “If you want an Mindful that hosting a money and not even be able to outdoor wedding, there is a large number of people with talk to them. Over the course real good chance you’ll have varying tastes and interests of a weekend you can spend a beautiful sunny day in the Methow Valley, especially in in a foreign place needs some some quality time.”

“You go to the valley and the summer.” coordination, the Vognilds inIdeal weather, natural and cluded all particulars on their it’s all right there as opposed to Seattle, where you’ll have gorgeous surroundings, and wedding website.

“There were some people to travel to get anywhere,” full amenities to personalize who are not so outdoorsy, said Nancy. “Plus, the event any wedding style at an afbut there is something in the coordinators all knew each fordable price. The Methow Methow for everyone,” says other and could work as a Valley offers a great start for Donni. “We just put up links of team. Our photographer even a couple’s journey together the many things to do on the went golfing with us and took – the rest is for you to discover, explore and enjoy. website and they just gobbled pictures.”

Valley Vows 2010

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Wedding planning tips

A

By Soo Ing-Moody

lthough no two destination weddings are ever the same, there are a few things that can be done in advance to help make your Methow Valley celebration as enjoyable and stress-free as possible for you and your guests. Then when the time comes – sit back, relax and let the fun begin!

Do your research.

M Plan a preliminary trip to be acquainted with the area, vendors, photographers, venues for the banquet, caterers and lodging establishments.

Consider a plan.

Choose and meet with a local wedding coordinator, or at the very least have a trusted and reliable person who is intimately familiar with the wedding plans and area to act as a liaison with vendors, guests and the wedding party.

M

Be informed.

A portion, if not all, of the days surrounding the acM

Photo by Ric Iribarren

By tying up a few loose ends... tual wedding will be outdoors – be mindful of the season and weather.

M Depending on the expected number of wedding attendees, consider the time of year and facilities available that can accommodate your plans. Book well in advance for large groups.

Communicate.

M Provide an itinerary so guests know when and how

much free time they have to explore on their own.

M Create a website so that guests can have an idea of what the area is like and all there is to do – links are helpful.

M Provide lodging options so guests can book their own stay (large groups may need to book well in advance).

M Make clear what is and what is not included in the wedding (state whether extra outings are planned as a part of the wedding and paid for by the hosts, or if the cost lies with the participant).

M Provide a map of the area that all guests can access and print off to navigate between areas and events.

M Provide tips on what to expect – weather, appropriate attire, etc.

Have a backup plan.

M Weather is never 100 percent predictable. If all or part of the wedding is held outdoors, have alternative options readily available – tents, shelters, indoor venue, etc.

Relax and enjoy!

Photo by Brandy Woras

...you can have a less hectic, more enjoyable wedding day.

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Valley Vows 2010

Worldwide love is at your fingertips

e have come a long way from the days of mail-order brides. Nowadays one can search the Internet and, with a click, find a cornucopia of persons looking for another with whom to share their lives.

I met my wife pre-Internet.

I went to the personals pages of Mother Earth News, wanting someone who wanted to be back-to-the-earth. There were hundreds of ads, male and female, with requirements as to age, sex, smoking, and other characteristics the person was seeking.

I wrote a letter and got one back saying she was off to Kansas City for a cat show or a craft show, but would get back to me when she returned home. Having gotten similar responses to other letters, I wrote her off.

S e v e r a l w e e k s l a t e r, she telephoned. I was very

By Bob Spiwak

Photo by Sue Misao

Online dating is often hit and miss, but a lucky few have used it to find their one true love. impressed, because those were the days of costly long-

distance calls, and we must’ve yakked for half an hour. That

Wedding Cakes Special Events

call has extended now for 29 years. She had gotten more

than 800 responses to her ad, and I was the lucky winner.

There are still classified ads for partners, but the Internet has revolutionized the process. No handwritten letters for the first phases that can be accomplished via e-mail and instead of a mailed snapshot or portrait, photographic evidence comes across the screen, sometimes with music and sometimes without clothing.

Sometimes without truth as well. One person I spoke with mentioned an ad she had answered; she ultimately learned the person was 10 years older than his listing had stated. In fairness, the listing also read, “Don’t believe everything you read here.”

There are probably thousands of such listing “hosts” on the ’net. Within these are literally millions of people shopping. With 16 or so ads Continued on P. 7

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Valley Vows 2010 the way? Eighty bucks, he said, adding, “It’s like paying greens fees. If you per page on Yahoo Personals, I quit want to play the better course, you pay on page 80. There is Granny Dating, accordingly.”

Albanian Women, Country Passions, Carl said it took about 10 minutes to Kinky Personals, decide Teresa was the woman Gay, Afro, Interfor him. For Teresa? “The time racial, Chinese, it took him to walk across the “....I am a Cupid.... You get parking lot.” the idea. It’s world- simple, complex After their first dinner out wide. person, creative in Omak and regular phone Some are probcalls, they decided they were and eccentric, ably scams. Putting meant for each other. Teresa curious and up phony photos moved to the Tri-Cities over f o r n o n e x i s t e n t understanding. I a year ago. She teaches in a members. Even private college in Pasco; Carl have a calm with the many that is a house remodeler. demeanor, but advertise free ads, Not long ago he gave her somewhere down am very outgo- the ring. They plan a small the line money can ing. I’m a life- wedding in May. become part of the long learner, equation.

If the journey from TriTo test this, I Cities seems long, consider and take checked out three.

Carl Rapp of the Libby Creek nothing for eHarmony.com area who fell in love with a wanted my e-mail granted....” woman from Sedona, Ariz. address right off; He and Tania met through SinglesLocalSearch Greensingles.com. They have needed my e-mail address after I been together for more than three years logged in, and stated that it had a and were married last summer. Tania “limited time free trial.” Kinkypersonals has a son, now 6, who loves Carl and warned in advance that it contained calls him Daddy. adult matter (“Watch the net’s hottest They chose Greensingles.com because porn”) and it seemed not suitable to it attracted people with an abiding interpursue that one. And none were going est in spirituality and the environment. to get my e-mail address – I hope.

Tania had tried a few dates, meeting men in This is not to say it does not work. the more conventional Teresa Allen is a friend who worked manner. for years at the “Most were Country Clinic. much older than “I am: She opted for I. There are not a Match.com, and lot of single men Gentle found the man of in the Sedona natured, her dreams, Carl area; there were Isaacson. What honest, some who were drew her to him? not interested in sensitive, He read her prosomebody with connected, file, which, afa child. For a few ter meeting her, deep, it was just about was amazingly trying to get a stubborn, representative of woman into bed,” passionate, the person she she noted. is. Teresa was compassionate, Carl sent the impressed with first e-mail and an intuitive, him because, she responded. spiritually “He could write She was ima complete senpressed. The Inconnected, tence and spell ternet, she exeducated, i t c o r r e c t l y. ” plained, allowed warm Of course there straightforward were other bindquestions and hearted, ing factors. answers. Carl’s a great “I was hopstruck a chord ing for someone hugger.” with her, and his close by the Trilifestyle was apCities where I pealing. live. Instead I found Teresa, 231 miles “Of all the other away. I put 117,000 miles on my truck men I met, Carl was chasing her,” Carl stated. the only one who was Did he have to pay anything along down-to-earth: The Continued from P. 6

Page 7 things he wrote were pretty humble.”

Tania does not remember what the matchmaking service cost was. Initially, publishing your profile on the site is free. As she remembers, once a couple wants to pursue each other’s profile, then a reasonable fee is required.

They began the relationship with e-mails, then moved ahead to telephone conversations. Ultimately, Carl went to

getting together with Carl “changed his life.” Obviously for the better.

Carl is a farmer and carpenter; Tania was a teacher in a Waldorf school.

The three are happy, work and play together and it seems it will be a lasting relationship.

There are others in the valley who have met in the same manner and share their lives with another person previously unknown.

“Male, white/caucasian, on a perThe Internet has sonal spiritual path, Libra, university played a big role professor, 5 ft 10, 185 lbs, athletic, in these relationdark brown hair, hazel eyes, typical ships.

While there American diet, never smoked, never used to be a stigma drink, possibly willing to relocate, no attached to this, children....looking for an open-minded technology and a more relaxed and intelligent person who likes yoga, social attitude have diminished bicycling, hiking, kayaking....” it. It is still unique enough, however, to pique the curiSedona and they met for the first time, osity of people who have not experitiming it with her birthday. Things pro- enced the experience. gressed and she came to the Methow There are probably as many failures with her son and loved it. as successes in these couplings. But “Sedona is all desert, but beautiful for every failure, a few strokes on the in its own way. But here, everything is keyboard can bring new hope that one so green, the scenery is beautiful.” Her day the right person will show up in son loves it as well, and she added that your inbox.

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Valley Vows 2010

How to KISS* *Keep It Straightforward & Simple

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t’s your big day. You only get married once (statistically this isn’t true, but for rhetorical purposes let’s assume this to be the case). Plan the wedding of your dreams.

The pressure to have a big, fancy, expensive wedding comes at you from all directions and, with the average 150-person wedding costing $25,000 these days, it’s clear that many new couples are succumbing to the pressure. But if money is tight, or if a modest wedding better reflects your values, it is entirely possible to have a simple wedding that still retains all the best aspects of an extravagant one: a meaningful ceremony, a bunch of guests, delicious food and a crowded dance floor.

First, make sure you have a positive attitude about a simple wedding. Simple weddings are as lovely and memorable as elaborate ones; they just take extra creativity, time and energy to pull off.

Accept the fact that working with a lean budget means making cuts in many areas. If your vision for your wedding includes 10 bridesmaids and a sit-down dinner for 200, your overall budget won’t be notably affected by picking wildflowers instead of hiring a florist. But by simplifying many aspects of your wedding – particularly the big-ticket items – you can save substantially.

Second, involve your friends and family. Most of them will be honored to be asked to help. Whether it’s arranging centerpieces or taking photos, they’ll feel the satisfaction of having played an important role in something significant. It will be meaningful for all of you and it will reduce expenses.

Third, make a list of all the possible wedding customs (bridesmaids/groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearer, gift bags, wedding favors, custom transportation, wedding planner, professional hair/makeup, menu cards, placecards,

By Ashley Lodato

Photo by Brandy Woras

Knowing how to KISS – as well as kiss – will make for an enjoyable wedding experience. programs, wedding video, etc.), decide which ones are important to you, and cut the rest. Each might seem minor by itself, but together they can add up to thousands of dollars.

By eliminating many details you’ll not only save money, but you’ll also be able to focus on the aspects of your wedding that matter most to you.

Money-saving tips big and small M Size: Weddings are one area where size really does matter, in terms of the number of guests you’ll be wining and dining. Trim your guest list to the smallest number you will be happy with.

M Venue: Hold the wedding and reception in the same place. Use someone’s beautiful yard or garden for the ceremony and reception.

Outdoor weddings provide built-in scenery, so you save on decorations. Even with renting a tent and some portable outhouses, you’ll still save. If you must rent a space, choose an off-season date and/or avoid Saturdays.

M Paperwork and postage: Use paper for only two things: invitations and thank you notes. E-mail save-thedate notes. Make your own invitations, using blank cards or postcards from a crafts store that can be mailed with a single first-class stamp. RSVP by email. Direct guests to a blog with all the logistical details they will need to know.

M Dress: Craigslist has as big a selection of never-worn dresses as any bridal warehouse. Vintage clothing stores are full of gorgeous dresses at Continued on P. 9

Valley Vows 2010

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Continued from P. 8 affordable prices. And you probably know hundreds of women who have a worn-once wedding dress hanging in the back of their closet they’d be happy to lend you.

M Groom’s clothes: Who notices him anyway? Nice pants and a shirt will suffice.

Photo by Brandy Woras

Simple and straightforward.

M Cake: Ask a talented baking friend to give you a wedding cake as a present. Or order cakes (or cupcakes) from a bakery and have an artistic friend frost them for you. Choose one small tiered cake for aesthetics and supplement with large sheet cakes.

M Drinks: Skip mixed drinks; provide good beer and wine.

M Music: Enlist your musical friends to play prior to the ceremony and/or at the beginning of the reception. Hire a dance band or a DJ just for the dancing.

M Decorations: Decorate according to the seasons. In spring and summer put fresh wildflowers (or flowers from a friend’s garden) in canning jars on the tables. In the fall use pumpkins and brilliant leaves. In the winter decorate with sprigs of mountain ash and conifer branches.

M Photos: Ask several different friends to focus on taking digital pictures throughout your ceremony and party. Let them know what you’re looking for, including specific photos you’d like (e.g., wedding cake, vows, dancing). Make time for posed photos, if desired. Get the nicest ones printed professionally.

M Chairs: Save money on chair rentals by using the same set of chairs for the ceremony and for the meal.

Designate a crew of friends to move

chairs.

M Officiant: Ask an articulate, licensed friend to perform the ceremony as a gift to you.

M Food: Work closely with your caterer to design a simple and appealing meal served buffet-style, rather than a plated dinner. You can also save money by doing a luncheon or an appetizer and drinks reception instead of a dinner. It is possible to do the food yourself with a lot of help from friends and family, but it’s an immense amount of work, so make sure you know what you’re getting into.

M Keep expenses down for your guests, too. After all, many of them will purchase plane tickets or drive a significant distance and they’ll have travel expenses.

M Get married in warm months so out-of-town guests can camp instead of paying for hotels. If possible, help guests find free or inexpensive places to stay.

M Ask friends to contribute items to the wedding or rehearsal dinner, wildflower arrangements, or live music in lieu of traditional gifts.

M Don’t require your bridesmaids or groomsmen to buy a particular dress or rent a tuxedo; give them some guidelines but allow them to make individual, inexpensive choices.

Finally, don’t lose sight of the main

Photo by Sue Misao

Choosing a friend to officiate at your wedding can simplify things. point of your wedding: the public celebration of your committed relationship.

You’re not producing a Broadway play here, you’re inviting the people you love to participate in one of the most solemn and joyful events of your life. Focus on this and, when it’s all over, you’ll be glad you decided to KISS.

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he Methow Valley trail system, the second largest in the United States, is recognized as one of the finest in North America for cross country skiing, off-road biking, hiking and… making lifelong declarations of love.

Uh, wait a sec, what was that last one?

Perhaps that last feature isn’t actually part of the area’s promotional material, but it certainly could be. Anyone who has enjoyed an outing on a Methow Valley trail would agree that its beauty is unsurpassed. Those jagged peaks and sweeping views leave a lasting impression on every visitor, regardless of the season. Many outdoor enthusiasts have discovered that the trails can also be the perfect place to propose to or marry the love of their lives.

Take Bellingham resident Laura Todd, for example. On a

Valley Vows 2010

Romance on the trails

By Stacey Chisam

the end of the hunt!” gorgeously sunny day in When asked why February of 2004, she was he chose that parskiing with her partner ticular site, DeSalvo of seven years, Dale, and admits, “I’d noticed family and friends on the it a year earlier when Mazama trail system.

I was out skiing and She was overcome by thought it would be a the panoramic views, the great place to propose. shimmering snow crysI liked that there was tals, and the warmth she a bench and a cedar felt being surrounded by arch that someone her favorite people. “I had made, presumdecided spontaneously ably for a wedding at that I was going to ask some point. It was just Dale to marry me on that beautiful.” beautiful outing,” Todd Always the plansays proudly, “and my ner, he knew his trail seven-year itch certainly proposal also had a helped a bit with the built-in contingency motivation!” plan. “It was very acShe boldly followed cessible from where her unsuspecting lover we lived at the time. when he took a short deWe didn’t have to tour from the group and do any driving – we popped the question near Photo courtesy of Darcy Ottey could ski in and out. a conveniently located So if Tory seemed bench. His astonished Many outdoor enthusiasts have discovcranky with me for response was, “I thought ered that their favorite trails are the perfect making her get out I was going to ask you!” place to propose or marry. of bed and follow my She replied with a smile, clues,” he chuckled, “I “You can.” He did, she said yes, and they returned DeSalvo’s wife, Tory. “The first could scrap the proposal and to their group teary-eyed and leg was snowshoeing. Then say I just wanted to go for a elated. “We knew we were I got to the river where rain romantic ski!”

Clearly, the Methow Valley going to be together the rest boots were waiting to ford the of our lives anyway,” gushes river. It was just a tad too deep trails can be credited for sparkTodd, “but being on a valley and the boots got flooded, but I ing the beginnings of lasting trail that day just inspired me made it to the other side, where love, yet they’ve also played a dry boots, socks, and my skate significant role in solidifying to get things started!”

Spontaneous trail propos- skis were waiting. Those were that love with many “I do” als can certainly yield amazing the only skis I owned, and it moments. Locals Adam and results, but if you’re Edelweiss was tough to make it to the Danica Kaufman decided to resident James DeSalvo, a end of the trail without any tie the knot on the well-known well-planned scavenger hunt traction. I think that was part Tawlks-Foster Suspension works well too. “From our of the challenge, though,” she Bridge in Mazama in August house in Lost River, I followed grins, “to see how committed of 2000.

“We knew we wanted to clues attached to red roses I was. By then I had a pretty stuck in the snow,” recalls good idea what was coming at get married outdoors and the

bridge just fit our personalities,” said the now-Mrs. Kaufman.

“We loved the location, the fact that we were surrounded by nature, and hearing water flowing under the bridge.” On their big day, 120 people braved very blustery weather and walked down the trail to share in their special moment. “It was blowing like mad, and probably no one heard a word we said, but we’d still do it there again!” she says confidently.

The suspension bridge seems to have found a way to connect more than trails. Darcy Ottey and Dave Moskowitz chose a spot just past the bridge to marry back in September of 2003. “We’d originally planned to have the wedding at Harts Pass,” remembers Ottey, “but there was a lot of fire activity in that area at the time. We had to find a new location just three days before the big day. We settled on a spot near the bridge that in retrospect worked out much better logistically, and it was just breathtaking!” Fifty guests walked to the site and sat in a grassy field to witness the union.

People near and far venture to the Methow Valley for so many different reasons.

Many come for the serenity; others thrive on the opportunity for physical challenge, and some venture here to invite the beauty of the valley to play a major role in cementing their love. And for couples that are truly passionate about the outdoors, the magic of the trails may just be too powerful to ignore.

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Love, joy, peace can keep a marriage strong

Y

our wedding is a day; a marriage is a lifetime.

Something profound to consider while you’re wrapped up in choosing dresses and flowers: Just how do you make those vows last forever?

Words of advice to live by from couples whose promises have stood the test of time are worth heeding.

Hard work…perseverance…togetherness…faith… forgiveness… are a few recurring key words from a half dozen local amateur experts on the subject of marital longevity.

First prize for the most anniversaries celebrated goes to Herb and June Gatewood, former Winthrop fixtures now living in Wenatchee. According to June, they’ve been married 67 years. Herb just knows it’s been “a terribly long time,” and he means that in the best way.

“You’ve got to work at it,” declares Herb. “We’ve always worked together, in business and other things. Each one takes care of what he is best at, and at the end of the day everything gets done.”

Like many young people – especially in earlier times – Herb and June started out after high school with nothing.

He worked several jobs; she took care of the kids. By 1960 they came to Winthrop, operated a successful business, and became heavily involved in the community – always together – before moving from the valley in 1995.

June’s good marriage

By Carol Stull

advice partly echoes Herb’s: interests, like attending local of Winthrop, going strong after 48 years of marriage, cite varia“Look after one another’s needs sporting events together.

“You do have to work at tions on themes expressed by and wants.” But her most important rule: “Never let anger go your marriage; you can’t take it other longtimers.

“Never let the sun go past one day. Solve the problem for granted,” advises Dee. She met Dave while he was down on your wrath,” advises before you go to bed.”

Walt and Nella Foster, in the Air Force in Oklahoma. Jovonna. “Kiss each other every married 63 years, still own the After they married, she left her morning and every night.”

To those who think the Mazama ranch they bought in home and family to move to 1960, but now spend winters his home in the Methow Val- Wilsons are “just lucky,” Rob responds, “Luck has living in Omak. They nothing to do with it.” met on a Seattle ballfield He sees the wedding as teenagers, where Walt vows as not just a promrecalls he kept trying to ise, but a commitment, play closer to her. By ages “words to live by,” and a 18 and 19 they were mar“three-way contract” beried. Nella admits she tween a man, a woman is “the older woman,” and God. and also jokes that may Preston and Lauhave been their secret to rie Hobart, married 40 success. years, enjoy doing a lot Seriously, Nella adtogether – cross country vises, “Give and take. skiing, gardening and You can’t just throw in Photo by Carol Stull the towel over nothing. Dave and Dee Schulz of Twisp celebrated ministry. Associated You’ve got to talk things their 50th wedding anniversary this year. with Methow Valley Ranch – a retreat and over.”

Like the Gatewoods, the ley – something that can be prayer center up the Chewuch Fosters believe leading busy, difficult for young brides. But – the Hobarts have compiled a constructive lives together has Dee promises that, “You get complete list of dos and don’ts contributed to their content- used to it” as you build a new for couples to succeed in marhome together. riage. ment.

Dee also is grateful that, Have God as your founWalt, who says he never dated anyone else, admits, as she has faced health issues, dation. Enjoy being, praying “Sure there were tough times, Dave has taken the “in sickness and doing together. Forgive like everyone has, but we got and in health” part of the mar- and avoid bringing up past along. You’ve got to deal with riage vows to heart by helping mistakes. Serve each other and problems day to day – just face out around the house, doing be thankful.

And they believe all marup to hard times and make the tasks that are now difficult for her. riages can benefit from taking best of it.”

And Dave reports that be- time to enrich the experience Dave and Dee Schulz of Twisp celebrated their 50th ing active Christians, enjoying through seminars, courses and wedding anniversary this year. the “fruits of the spirit” – love, counseling. Preston and Laurie They give a lot of credit to a joy, peace – keeps their mar- also offer themselves to help shared faith in God for making it riage strong so they can serve couples strengthen their mareasy to keep their commitment as examples to others around riage through both formal studies and informal counseling. to each other. Besides being ac- them.

Rob and Jovonna Wilson Randy and Deb Kalmtive in church, they share other

bach of Winthrop remain happily together after 39 years of sometimes troubled times. In her book Because I Said Forever, Deb chronicles their “journey together” through dark days of alcohol and financial problems, ultimately resolved by patience and prayer.

Admitting that “being older brings wisdom,” Deb offers tips to young couples: “Loving your spouse is a decision, not a feeling. Understand what it takes to really love someone. Honor your vows, even though it’s not always easy.”

She also reminds couples that staying “in it for the long haul” really is worthwhile.

Speaking from experience, she says life really does become “sweet after going through ups and downs together.”

Pastor Steve Schroeder of Methow Valley United Methodist Church cites many of the above tenets when counseling couples. Marriage, a sacred union bringing two individuals together into one life, “is hard work,” he says. Making it last requires a few basic tools.

“Forgiveness is the heart of a good marriage. We have many chances to get it right. We all make mistakes and need to say we’re sorry and be forgiven.”

He advises troubled couples to get help – by talking to a trusted friend or a professional counselor rather than giving up. Because, ultimately, a marriage will succeed when partners understand that staying together is often better than splitting apart.

Page 12

Valley Vows 2010

Wedding stories from the other side of the aisle

T

he maestros who help couples pull off their dream wedding have to be prepared to go with the flow – sometimes, literally. Janet Verkuyl once guided a couple through their vows standing barefoot in the river, portraying their lives together as part of the river of life, placid pools, turbulent rapids and all.

The best wedding professionals are open to new ideas, resourceful and flexible, adapting well-orchestrated plans so that no one – least of all the bride and groom – even notices.

As first violinist in the Tamarack String Quartet, Tara Kaiyala Weaver said one of her main roles is monitoring the progress of the wedding party as they approach the ceremony site and then signaling the other musicians about when to play – or when to launch into a quick cadence so the main event can begin.

Despite carefully rehearsed music – one piece for the processional, a special selection for the bride and then a rousing number for the recessional – Kaiyala Weaver said everything can change, particularly when young children or anxious couples are involved. “For instance, flower girls,” she said.

“These are typically the smallest children, and they tend to be difficult to coax, especially in front of all those people.”

At a ceremony held on the bluff at Sun Mountain Lodge, Kaiyala Weaver described watching and waiting for a two-year-old flower girl to make her way through the lobby doors, down two long flights of stairs and across the grass to where the wedding party was gathered in front of the classic mountain panorama. The little girl took three steps onto the grass, realized the quartet was playing, and halted, mesmerized, listening to the music. “Somebody ultimately had to come get her,” said Kaiyala Weaver.

During the social hour, the girl once again drifted over to the patio where the quartet was

By Marcy Stamper

playing, swaying in time to the Bach Air. “It was as if we had a mini-audience – I just played for her,” said Kaiyala Weaver. “It was a beautiful experience.”

As long as she can get the quartet to shift on the fly, Kaiyala Weaver does not find playing at weddings to be anxiety-producing. “It’s a blast – being together and playing music anyway is just a kick in the pants, and there is less pressure than at a concert, since the musicians are not in the spotlight.”

Weather introduces its own set of variables for musicians.

Umbrellas have to be carefully positioned and repositioned to protect delicate wooden instruments from cracking in the sun.

Craig Weaver, the quartet’s cellist, has honed his expertise over decades of performances to react to unexpected developments and still come right back in for an important solo.

Once Weaver leapt up to intercept an umbrella that had been picked up by the wind and was making a beeline straight for her, said Kaiyala Weaver.

Another time she watched as a real bee alighted on the cellist’s finger during the processional at the Freestone Inn. As Weaver flung his hand to dislodge the insect, his cello did a full 360° turn, but he rejoined the quartet right in tempo, she said.

John Weeks, the second violinist in the quartet and a member of several other ensembles who play for weddings, said he likes when the music can be more than background accompaniment, so they will sometimes arrange to complete a musical selection while the wedding party and their guests listen. Occasionally, however, when everyone is a little too distracted for careful time management, this can require an unusual degree of focus and forbearance.

The Pachelbel Canon, its leisurely tempo perfectly suited to a dignified walk down the aisle, is a beloved baroque piece often requested for the processional. But it is slow – the full Canon takes almost seven minutes, said Weeks.

During the wedding celebration, anything can happen with the music...

At one backyard wedding, Weeks and his group began the Pachelbel as the wedding

party proceeded from the back porch to gather under a cherry tree, some 50 feet away, for the

Photo by Ric Iribarren

vows. “The screen door slams, and they’re out of there like Continued on P. 13

Valley Vows 2010 Continued from P. 12 racehorses – and under the tree within 40 seconds,” recalled Weeks.

But Weeks, ever the evangelist for music as an essential ingredient of the proceedings, said the understanding was that they were going to play the whole piece, so everyone waited for six minutes – generally without undue fidgeting – as the musicians relished the rare opportunity to play the complex melodies that are not heard until the end.

In addition to standing in the river, Verkuyl has married people who paddled across the lake at the Freestone Inn, stood in the shadows of the water tower at Sun Mountain, and she has officiated at Eightmile for a bride who arrived via horseback wearing a striking red gown.

Another wedding was scheduled early on a frigid morning so that the bride and groom could set out in a hot-air balloon right after the ceremony.

The sun came up just as they completed their vows, blessing

Page 13 their marriage, said Verkuyl.

Verkuyl has joined couples on a sleigh driving through the snow and from the lookout tower at First Butte. “I had to face my fears for that one,” she said, acknowledging her discomfort with heights, but she stayed close to the wall and said “it was a lovely ceremony.”

“Every wedding was really unusual in its own way, because people are so different,” she said.

Caterer Bill Simmons of Rent-A-Chef is used to accommodating his clients’ needs, adapting to food preferences and turning out food in kitchens from the professional to the rustic. He frequently barbecues large cuts of meat, but the time he was asked to cook half a cow that had been raised and butchered by the groom posed a special challenge.

“They delivered it to us on a flatbed truck and it took four guys to flip it on the barbecue,” said Simmons. The cow required frequent turning to be sure it was cooked evenly as they neared the end of the 28-hour roasting time. The 700

...the food, or even the umbrellas. guests at the county fairgrounds finished it all.

“I will do a wedding in a barn with no running water,” said caterer Stewart Dietz. “I get really excited when there’s a kitchen and a sink.”

Dietz recalled one wedding

at the River Run Inn in a thunderstorm, when the power went out and water pooled under the tents. “Weddings are kind of a symbol of what’s to come in life,” she said. “You have the expectations of what the wedding’s going to be like – it’s

Photo by Brandy Woras

just a perfect hurdle as people start on their lives together.

You have to let go of the small things.”

Kaiyala Weaver agreed.

“Nothing ever goes as planned or timed. That’s the main thing to remember.”

Page 14

T

Valley Vows 2010

Anatomy of a wedding

here is something for sure besides the clichéd Death and Taxes, and that is people getting married. In recent years samesex marriages have begun to be recognized here and there, along with the traditional BoyMeets-Girl, and they all marry and live – hopefully – happily the rest of their days.

When they marry, the event – as you know – is called a wedding. Weddings come in all sizes from two-person elopements (it does take two), where the witnesses (the law requires two of these as well) are frequently the photographer and maybe a friend of the wedding couple, a passer-by politely shanghaied to observe the ceremony (which is usually brief), and sign the paper along with the officiant, making it all legal.

The officiant can be a person of religious leadership, such as a priest, minister, pastor, rabbi, or layperson (usually licensed by the state), or a layperson who is not religious or licensed. We could circumnavigate the globe and find other types of officiants, but we’ll stick to the U.S. of A. for this discourse.

From the two-person wedding, the numbers of people in attendance can grow from one more to hundreds. At larger weddings there are usually a corps of bridesmaids and groomsmen, ordinarily dressed in matching frocks or gowns for the women, and suits for the guys. It goes downhill, in a manner of speaking, from here.

There is also a maid of honor, related to or friend of the bride (in a traditional opposite-sex wedding – I don’t know the designations in same-sex nuptials) and a best man standing stalwartly alongside the groom, and in some instances, holding him up because there was a party that ended an hour before the ceremony.

It is worthwhile to note that these two principals are usually the ones that lead off the toasts to the couple after

By Bob Spiwak

Photo by Sue Misao

The groom’s best man stands stalwartly alongside the groom, unless he is busy keeping the groom’s best friend from interrupting the ceremony. Chokehold! the ceremony and at any time right through, and certainly after the reception dinner.

The toasts are in the main quite boring to most outsiders (“shoestring” relatives for example, who may or may not know one member of the couple and have never met the other). Toasts bring forth tears and laughter, usually both, and each is followed by some or several of the guests clinking their forks against their drinking glasses. This is the signal for the couple to kiss.

At larger weddings, there are so many toasts that while the initial kiss may be prolonged and even passionate,

after a while they become merely pecks. The kisses are roundly applauded during and after by married people who think, “Hmm, I remember when he/she used to kiss me like that first one and now I am lucky to get even a peck.”

Then there is the obligatory cutting of the wedding cake.

In this ritual, the couple each feed the other the first piece of the confection. This is done in a manner of ways, ranging from a demure closing of lips around the presenting fork to what is known as “cramming,” where the frosting is quite liberally smeared over the facial geography of both. Most find the latter quite a lot of fun, especially the little children, who have suffered through all this folderol because they were promised a piece of that lovely multitiered dessert after dinner.

The bigger the wedding, the more expensive. The last time I checked on the national average for the cost of photographers was in 2000. The numbers came from an urban survey and the average cost of the photography was $1,300.

Add to this the rental of the venue, gallons of alcohol in its many permutations, dinner, gowns, suits, music, wedding cake, tips, officiant and “incidentals,” and it can be a costly event.

I have had two brides’ fathers make the same comment to me: “I offered them the down payment on a house if they would elope, and they wanted this.”

SPORTSMAN MOTEL

Clean, Comfortable Kitchenettes Easy access to all recreation

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Valley Vows 2010

Page 15

Valley Vows 2010 Directory of Advertisers

Photo by Leslie Lanthorn

Artists, Artisans Bruce Morrison ..........................9 Peligro ........................................7 Bakeries Mazama Store ............................9 Banquet/Reception Facilities Amy’s Manor ............................4 Brown’s Farm...........................16 Hometown Pizza ......................14 Old Schoolhouse Brewery .........6 Skalitude Retreat ........................9 Spring Creek Ranch .................10 Sun Mountain Lodge..................2 The Barn at Wilson Ranch .......14 Timberline Meadows .................6 Twisp River Pub .......................16 Twisp Valley Grange ................14 Beauty & Professional Services Opulence Hair Design ................3 Bridal Registry Services Webster Furniture.......................5 Catering Amy’s Manor .............................4 Rent-A-Chef.........................4, 10 Salyna’s Specialty Cakes ...........6 Stewart Dietz Catering .............16

Contractors JA Wright Construction..............6 Dining Old Schoolhouse Brewery .........6 Mazama Store ............................9 Stewart Dietz Catering .............16 Sun Mountain Lodge..................2 Twisp River Pub .......................16 Entertainment/Musicians DJ Noah ...................................11 Methow Valley DJ Services .......8 Wind & Wood ............................3 Event Planners & Consultants Amy’s Manor .............................4 Fawn Meadow Design .............16 Stewart Dietz Catering .............16 Sun Mountain Lodge..................2

Gifts & Party Supplies, cont.

Winthrop Red Apple Market ......2 Nancy’s Party Rentals ..............14 Guest Accommodations Amy’s Manor .............................4 Brown’s Farm...........................16 Sportsman Motel ......................14 Spring Creek Ranch .................10 Sun Mountain Lodge..................2 Timberline Meadows .................6 Jewelry & Jewelers Harrison Jewelers .......................2 Peligro ........................................7 Limousine Services Katrina’s Wedding Boutique ....11 Mailing Services Elite Mailing Services ..............12

Recreation Lost River Winery ......................8 Rehearsal Dinner Facilities Amy’s Manor .............................4 Spring Creek Ranch .................10 Sun Mountain Lodge..................2 The Barn at Wilson Ranch .......14 Twisp Valley Grange ................14 Rental Equipment J.A. Wright Construction ...........6 Katrina’s Wedding Boutique ....11 Mills Bros. ...............................10 Nancy’s Party Rentals................14 Rent-A-Chef.........................4, 10 Skalitude Retreat ........................9 Special Occasion Tent Rentals ....12 The Washworks ..........................7

Flowers & Floral Designers Fawn Meadow Design .............16 Winthrop Red Apple Market ......2

Massage Practitioners Green Lotus Massage .................9

Wedding Gowns & Tuxedos Katrina’s Wedding Boutique ....11 Mills Bros.................................10 Nancy’s Party Rentals ..............14

Furniture & Appliances Webster Furniture.......................5

Non-Profit Organizations Methow Conservancy ................2

Wedding Cakes & Confections Salyna’s Specialty Cakes ...........6

Gifts & Party Supplies Harrison Jewelers .......................2 Methow Conservancy ................2

Photographers Dusty Dreams Photography .......6 RLI Photography........................5 Woras Photography ..................11

Wineries Lost River Winery ......................8