March/April 2016 | Volume 2 | Issue 2
me time
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J O U RNA L
Your Place to Explore, Discover, and Reconnect to a Better Life™
STUFF! Keep What You Need, Let Go of What You Don’t
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Mother Earth is calling and she wants us to clean up our room! We are a cluttered nation of stuff-a-holics. We have come to equate stuff with wealth when we know deep down it’s just not true (ever see the show Hoarders?). Americans constitute 5% of the world's population but consume about 25% of the world's energy. On average, one American consumes as much energy as: 2 Japanese, 5 Mexicans, 12 Chinese, 30 Indians and 360 Ethiopians. No wonder we’re so big! Americans eat 800 billion calories of food each day, about 200 billion more than needed, which would feed an extra 80 million people. No wonder we’re so fat! We each use on average about 150 gallons of water daily, while more than half the earth uses 25 gallons/day. We are a clean bunch! And there are more shopping malls in the US than high schools.* That is sad! We could all do better. So in this issue we challenged ourselves to look at all kinds of “stuff”— physical, mental and financial! Dear reader, please delve into this issue with an open mind and a willingness to face our shared obsession with THINGS! Some stuff really matters to us (see Stuff we Treasure on page 7) and most of it doesn’t. It’s the people we love that matter most. Cleaning up and clearing out our closets and minds helps get our priorities in order. The less you need to clean, file, store, or organize, the more mental peace you have and the more time you have for things that inspire your greater purpose. The less time you spend with things, the more time you have for love.
*Center for Sustainability, Duke Unuversity
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me time
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J O U RNA L
Table of Contents 5
Meet This Issue’s Contributors Feature Story: STUFF!
7
Stuff We Treasure
13
Stuff We’d Rather Not Do
11
15
16
Stuff We Love
Stuff We Abhor
Stuff We Do to Make a Difference
17
Financial Clutter
22
Burn That Candle
19
23
Deciding What to Keep Collection or Connections?
25
Get Centered
27
MeTime Journal Interview / Janie Wolicki-Best:
31
Discover Your Life’s Purpose
30
Authentically Yours – Stuff that Matters Most
33
Three Cheers for Chia Seeds!
35
Wear What You Are
34
37
38
Everything in Moderation?
Did You Know? Magnesium Can Help Blood Sugar Levels
Bring Back the Home Arts
41
Ask Michele: Insomnia
44
MeTime Spotlight
47
In Our Next Issue
42
Stuff Rules!
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MeTime Journal™ | March/April 2016
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Meet This Issue’s Contributors
Page 17
Mary Grate-Pyos
“Me time is doing something for myself, like going to the movies, out to eat, or just watching one of my favorite videos. I absolutely love reading books that inspire and encourage me to live my best life. My happiest me time moments are spent with friends while drinking sparkling water and giggling about life.”
Janie Wolicki-Best
Chief Executive Officer Women Helping Women www.whw.org
Kelly Orchard
Katherine Johnson
Certified Family Business Specialist www.MyPearlPower.com
Page 27
Page 31
Page 35
Founder/Owner Spark www.Katherine-Johnson.com
“My favorite way to enjoy me time is to turn on some great dance music and shake it! I can never go too long without dancing, even if it’s just at home with my kids. After dancing, I always feel happy, more energized and full of myself!
Author/Speaker/ Licensed Psychotherapist www.KellyOrchard.com “My me time is spent writing in my journal which I have been doing since I was a teenager. It really helps me to process events in my life, see my personal growth and keep me rooted on my path!”
“I'm re-learning what me time means. I was a single Mom of two boys for nearly 15 years, and really didn't have time to do anything other than work and raising Ben and Joey. I'm also now Assistant Mom to Christian and Morgan, but I now have some time available to pursue something I've always wanted to do, which is singing! I joined Harborlites Chorus just over a year ago, which is part of Sweet Adelines International. I sing Lead in the chorus, and in “Never Too Late” quartet. It's incredibly rewarding to explore the craft of singing in the Barbershop style. I am constantly learning new techniques, and entertaining people in the process. Oh, and I LOVE The Walking Dead! I never miss an episode.”
Are You a Writer, Speaker, Professional, Artist, or Photographer Interested in Contributing to MeTime Journal? We’d like to hear from you! Send your contact information and a brief introduction to:
Editor@MeTimeJournal.com
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me time
TM
J O U RNA L
March/April 2016 Volume 2 | Issue 2 MB
Co-Founding Publisher Michele Broad, NP-C
LC
Co-Founding Publisher | Creative Director Linda Carlberg
DD
Managing Editor Diane L. Donohue
Contributing Editor Kay Grable TO SUBSCRIBE:
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This magazine is dedicated in memory of Judy Carlberg, R.N. who miraculously helped make MeTime Journal possible.
MeTime Journal™ | January/February 2016
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Feature Story
In this issue, we decided to take a closer look at the “stuff” in our lives to see what’s important – and what isn’t.
We hope our examples get you thinking about your own “stuff.” How can you make room in your life for more happiness and health? By letting go of the extra clutter that blocks your path.
PART 1:
Stuff We Treasure
What three things you would grab if, God forbid, there were a fire in your house? Aside from your kids, pets, smart phone and computer, what would you take and why? Here are our picks...
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Grandma’s Lincoln
u
My grandmother, Lydia Nymalm was a passionate, resilient maverick. In 1934, she courageously refused to sign citizenship papers by the KGB in Russia. She was an innovative thinker who rolled her own tampons on a spinning wheel stating that, “the use of ‘rags’ was unsanitary and not her cup of tea.” In 1955, when racial issues were brewing, she commissioned an artist to create 15 small wooden statues of Abraham Lincoln. He was her hero because she so vehemently believed in civil and women’s rights. I have one statue and the others are housed in libraries and art museums in NYC and Vermont. This statue serves as a reminder of the honorably good woman she was. One who wouldn’t sit on the sidelines of life, she served to make this world a better place!
DD
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Diane Donohue
Old Family Postcards
Among the stuff I treasure is a box of cards and penny postcards that my Grandmother saved. Many are from her four sisters. As they got married and moved away from home, they stayed in touch using a few hand-written lines at a time. It’s hard to imagine this today with our unlimited-use cell phone plans, texting, email, and Skype! There’s news of family events like births and illnesses, new music suggestions for singing, arrival times by train for visits and the good news of a safe return. Messages that were more private were written in Swedish. These wonderful cards are not only a window into my family’s past, but also a way to experience what everyday life was like almost 100 years ago!
LC
Bracelet q
I have an I.D. bracelet that one of my dearest friends gave me that says "walking with Jesus" on it. I asked for it years ago because I wanted a daily visual reminder not only of my faith but as a reminder of how I need to act on a daily basis. I fail miserably some days but then I put it on again the next day and start anew.
MB
(Continued on the following page)
Michele Broad
Linda Carlberg MeTime Journal™ | March/April 2016
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Feature Story
PART 1: Stuff We Treasure t
(Continued)
Dad’s Sail Boat
My dad, a carpenter and furniture building hobbyist, crafted many items of wood, including furniture. He also adored the ocean and especially sailing. This sailboat was one of many things he made.
DD
Family Dowry Chest
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This is a true “treasure chest” for me that’s been in the family since it was given as a gift to one of my ancestors in 1865 in Sweden. It was made by the groom for his bride, using hand-forged iron and wood. I especially love the little hearts cut out from the iron work. He must have loved her very much to add such sweet details. I’m working on my family genealogy and have yet to identify the lucky bride-to-be, but I will!
LC
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Treasure Box
In my closet I have this box filled with little treasures that my kids created or achieved throughout their growing up years. When I look through the box my heart smiles with joy and pride as I remember when they were younger and now at how far they have come.
MB
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Memory Box
Being a bit romantic, I treasure this box of what others might call “junk.” Inside are precious items of sentimental value; tickets to shows and events, cards, letters and mementos that spark many happy memories. This is one of 3 boxes and I’d rescue them all in a fire!
DD
My Crayon Box
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When I was little, once in a while my Dad would build something for me in his workshop – but he wouldn’t tell me what it was going to be. Instead, he’d lift me up to sit on the workbench and watch him with the most intense curiosity imaginable. Once he made me a little desk out of orange crates, another time it was a rubber band gun (probably the same as he had), and once it was the Flintstone family cut out using a jig saw. Then he made my favorite: my beloved crayon box. I was into coloring on an epic scale and got a box of 64 Crayolas with the sharpener in back every Christmas for years. As those little waxy bits of colorful bliss wore down (Sky Blue was always the first), they had a place to go and I could carry them everywhere. To me, this symbolizes the start of my life as an artist, but even more importantly it reminds me of my Dad’s love for his little girl and some of the best memories I have of time spent with him.
LC
Shadow Box
u
On my desk in my office I have a homemade shadow box that a young patient of mine made me when she moved out of state. I love it so much because she took her precious time and created this beautiful gift to let me always know how much I was appreciated.
MB
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My Mom’s Nurse’s Cape
(from Swedish Memorial Hospital in Minneapolis, MN)
I recently read a message on Facebook about the fact that nurses are superheroes and the proof is that they wore capes. My Mom was one of them! If nurses still wore them, Michele would have one too!
LC
(Continued on the following page)
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Feature Story
PART 2:
Stuff We Love
Here are a few of the products we love and why we love them. We’d like to hear about your favorites too! Send us your picks and a photo (if possible) to: editor@MeTimeJournal.com
MB
I love to try new products by great companies that share my health philosophy, use natural ingredients, are low on chemicals, and at this moment I am crushing on these:
Nourish Organic Moisturizing Cream Face Cleanser in Cucumber + Watercress
I love this product because I have very sensitive skin and it is such a luxurious cream cleanser it doesn't leave my skin feeling tight or dry. The company is called Nourish Organic and you can get this and other products online at NourishOrganic.com It is also available at Roots and Whole Foods in California, selected Targets, Vitamin Shoppe, Wegmans as well as other many other organic stores.
Beauty Sleep Concentrate by NYR (Neal's Yard Remedies)
Fair Trade Shea Butter by Alaffia Empowerment
This is my go-to eye makeup remover and under eye moisturizer. I love using it on my elbows and heels for help softening my dry skin. You can find it at Sprouts, Whole Foods Market and many other organic or natural markets or online at Alaffia.com.
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Knives Shaped Like This:
Perfect for getting every last bit of avocado out of the skin or other food from a jar. It’s great for spreading too!
This baby recharges and works with your skin's natural night time rhythm and it smells heavenly. My face feels amazing in the morning. Only available on line at NealsYardRemedies.com
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LC t Noosa Yoghurt
To say this is good yoghurt isn’t enough. It’s the best I’ve ever eaten. So velvety and creamy you’ll feel like you’re cheating and eating dessert. It originated in Australia and is now made in Colorado. The strawberry rhubarb and coconut are my faves, each with a little puree to stir in. Yum! NoosaYoghurt.com Good Earth Sweet & Spicy Tea u
I drink black coffee and don’t like tea. However, I love this one! In fact, we have a long history together. Back in the day, two friends of mine and I spent hours talking about “life” at the Good Earth restaurant and drinking countless glasses of this iced tea (I still miss the Small Planet Burger). It’s organic and caffeine free too! A naturally sweet, perfect blend of cinnamon, orange, chamomile, ginger, peppermint ... you’ve got to try it! To buy online or find a store near you, visit GoodEarth.com
DD
t Kerry Gold Butter
Terra Real Vegetable Chips u
About 5 years ago we learned that margarine is not as healthy as butter. But we also learned that butter from grain fed cows isn’t a healthy product either. Cows that are grain fed tend to have more disease and need antibiotics. They are also given hormones, neither of which is good for the cow or eventually, us. Grass fed, Irish cows make absolutely delicious butter. Kerry Gold is so good I’ve given it as a gift! It contains several vitamins and minerals, and has dramatically higher quantities of omega-3 than other butter, so it’s just “better butter.” Enjoy a little on your veggies—just a dab will do! You can purchase it at most supermarkets and now at Costco for extra savings! KerryGoldUSA.com
Since 1990 these scrumptious chips have fascinated our taste buds. Who knew that the lowly taro and sweet potato could offer such delicious crunch? Every vegetable is hand-picked and prepared in small batches, packaged in their distinctive black bag. Opening up a bag gives me a rush of pleasure. If you gotta eat chips, eat these! Available at almost all major supermarkets and many other stores. TerraChips.com (Continued on the following page)
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Feature Story
PART 3:
Stuff We’d Rather Not Do Need Text Here
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Washing Dishes
My least favorite household chore is washing dishes. I’m not big on scrubbing the shower/bathtub either, but thankfully it doesn’t have to be done more than once a day.
W
e surveyed over 150 women (aged 35-85) and the household job they hated most was dusting. Also, most didn’t do it as often as when they were growing up. That was surprising. Second worst job was a close tie: changing sheets and cleaning toilets. Two necessary evils.
The vast majority of women (80%) paid the bills and didn’t enjoy it, but would rather do it than delegate it to hubby. Interesting!
The majority again (85%) cooked most nights. About 65% of those enjoyed it for the most part, while 20% said it was tolerable. The other 20% absolutely hated it and didn’t do it often, if possible.
So, what household job would you like to delegate?
Vaccuuming
I hate to vacuum. I don’t mind sweeping, just vacuuming. It’s a hassle to me. Getting it out, plugging it in, putting it back. But as I write this, I feel ridiculous. How hard is it to plug in a vacuum? What a wuss!
W
DD
Cleaning Toilets
I have to wear gloves and even then I hate to do it and usually put it off ‘till last. I hate the dirty ring that forms in the bowl and under the rim of the bowl – gross! I guess I really hate what the toilet stands for – waste elimination.
I don’t like anything about washing dishes except that at the end they are clean – when they come out of the dishwasher, that is. If the truth be told, I think about microorganisms a little too much. I therefore don’t like soaking pans or using sponges, dishrags, or scrubbers – unless I could put them in an autoclave. I’m one of those people that rinse everything thoroughly before putting it in the dishwasher.
When I’m forced to wash dishes by hand, it’s quite a process. First, I sanitize the sink with the hottest water possible. I soak the dishes in it for a few minutes and then wash them with soap and a clean scrubber. I rinse them again under scalding hot water and dry them by hand. Whew!! I’m exhausted just thinking about it!
I hate hot water because it hurts. I also hate touching wet food (my own or anyone else’s). Yes, rubber gloves would help, but yuck anyway! Lastly, no matter how often you do them, they keep coming!
LC
MB
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Feature Story
PART 4:
Stuff We Abhor
Soapbox anyone? Abhor is a more polite way of saying there are things that drive us crazy. What “stuff” pushes your buttons?
Littering
I abhor littering with all my heart. I feel very passionately about this topic, and people should know better by now. I loathe people that litter and I view them as lazy and un-caring individuals. Littering makes our world and neighborhoods look trashy and dirty. Just stop it!!
MB
Public Dog Poop
Growing up, mom did not like us kids to say the word hate. So, my friend “the thesaurus” gave me several alternatives: dislike, despise and detest, but none seemed as funny as the word abhor. It sounded snooty and I’d play it up big. “Oh Mother, I abhor Brussel sprouts!” She was not amused. But it did expand my repertoire of revulsion words. So back to the question.
It’s a given that we hate terrorists and paying taxes but did you know Americans like the IRS, witches, cockroaches, Wall Street and even hemorrhoids better than Congress?*
Currently, Congress ranks below murderers and molesters but right next to public dog poop. I agree! While I love dogs a lot more than Congress, I consider dog owners to be like parents. Some are good and some are downright lazy. By the way, I pick up a ton of poop at my local park each week!
DD
*(Public Policy Polling 10/14)
Lazy Shoppers
Don’t get me started. Oops, too late! This drives me crazy: when people decide they don’t want an item, then take it out of their cart and shove it on the nearest shelf – rather than return it to where they got it.
On the one hand, it’s job security for the store employees. On the other hand, it shouldn’t be someone else’s responsibility.
I saw this just last week. Not only laziness, but even worse, it was about $30 of food wasted! Arrgghh!
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PART PART 5: 5:
Stuff We Do to Make a Difference To live our values, we’ve made changes in our lives. It’s always a work in progress to do the best with what we have and for our environment too. What changes have you made? As a Nurse Practitioner, I have dedicated my career to helping people with their health and always stress healthy eating. One thing I suggest that would make a difference in people’s lives is to garden.
Most people feel they don’t have the time or space. The solution I found is to have an aeroponic (without soil) garden and grow my own food. It’s physically less demanding too. I love my tower garden; it uses 40% less waste, no dirt and grows vertically, thus taking up less space. And things grow 40% faster! When you’ve grown your own food you feel connected and appreciate it more. I grow lettuce, kale, spinach, celery and tomatoes, basil, cilantro and more. I don't eat meat for health reasons but also because of the inhumane way animals are killed and the junk that they are fed that ultimately ends up in our bodies.
MB
Besides coaching people to be healthier and to communicate better, I am vigilant about waste and our impact on the earth. I rarely eat meat because it is less healthy. It also takes about 5000 gallons to produce a pound of beef, compared to 25 gallons to produce a pound of vegetables. About 1/3rd of the world’s grain and fish are fed to livestock and the antibiotics, chemicals and animal waste pollute ground water.
I compost to enrich the soil and it lessens the amount going to landfills. I save resources like
p I bought my composting bin through a local program. Check with your city to see if you can too!
water. I recycle dish water to water my plants, have mostly succulents and no grass. I also recycle and donate everything I possibly can.
I stopped using chemical cleaners and products and have reduced the amount of plastic I consume, trying to buy items in glass or paper instead. I carry my own recyclable bags to shop and, best of all,have stopped buying unnecessary things. And still, I know this is not enough.
DD
I can personally vouch for these two that they practice what they preach and more! I’ve known them both for years and they’ve been an inspiration and encouragement to me to make better choices too. I also have been eating a more vegetarian diet over the past few years. With so many choices today, it’s easy! I love animals too and even take ants outside. Don’t judge.
As much as possible, I buy from companies that go the extra mile to make better choices too: they farm organically, offer GMO free products, let their chickens run free, use safer chemicals and do not test on animals. If they employ people that are in economically stressed areas and also give back to people in need – even better! I believe that “voting with our dollars” sends a message. I can see its impact in our stores and food choices today. Let’s all keep it growing!
LC
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Financial
C L UT
by Mary Grate-Pyos
Do you ever feel like your life is being invaded, even taken over by paperwork? Bank statements, copies of household bills, credit card statements, retirement statements, introductory offers from credit card companies and my favorite, the welcome card from AARP reminding you of how close you are to receiving social security. Overwhelming, right? But it doesn’t have to be. To de-clutter financially requires a new daily routine. You can manage and eliminate the clutter with a few simple strategies that can help you to get back on track to enjoying financial peace of mind. To financially declutter, takes willingness, time and a commitment to get it done in a manner that leaves you empowered, less stressed and feeling more joy!
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T
E R
Here are a few pointers that may be helpful in organizing the chaos around your finances: 1. Make a commitment to manage the mail and paperwork that comes into your home daily, including the paperwork that you willingly bring in. The key word is daily. This doesn’t mean that you will address every piece of mail, but make a commitment to organize the chaos on a daily basis.
reminders or warnings of actions that you need to handle. Yes, you still need to take the time to handle these mental notes, but writing them down allows you to free your mind and brings a bit of financial peace. Remember to set up a time to handle these mental thoughts – they showed up for a reason.
2. Next decide to spend a few minutes opening the mail/correspondence and sorting into 3 piles: “toss, shred or keep.” When the mail arrives, take the entire stack and stand by your shredder or recycle bin and develop the “do it now” mentality: shred the ”no longer needed” paperwork that has your name or financial information on it and toss the junk mail in the recycle bin. I recommend tearing your name off the junk mail and shredding your name label too.
7. Get your will, trust, medical directives completed by an attorney, make a copy of them and store the original in a safe deposit box or a location you deem safe. Without these documents, life becomes chaotic at the most sacred moments.
3. Create folders for each financial area: essential bills; retirement statements, social security statements, credit card statements, personal loan statements and bank statements. Even if you decide not to open them at that moment, you have organized the paperwork that surrounds your finances. 4. Automate where you can. You can retrieve your latest statements online, thus eliminating the need to have copies at the end of each month or quarter. I would suggest that you maintain copies of a few statements in the event that you need proof of ownership. 5. Create a folder in your email to store all of the financial correspondence that you receive. This will organize your financial documents online and you can print them out, when needed. You can also place the documents in document storage online, just in case your system crashes. 6. Do a mental brain-dump often. Keep a notebook or journal that is dedicated to your thoughts and mental notes that come as
8. Check the beneficiaries on ALL of your important documents, especially life insurance and retirement paperwork. Also check your significant other/spouse’s documents as well. It’s an awful feeling to expect to receive the proceeds from a life insurance policy and then realize that your significant other didn’t change his wife’s name as the beneficiary! In many cases, life insurance proceeds are essential to a woman experiencing a secure retirement. 9. Lastly, organize your monthly finances with a spreadsheet, e.g. Microsoft Excel, Quicken, QuickBooks or Mint, so that you have a list of who you owe, how much you owe, when the payment is due, the date of the last payment and the remaining balance owed, all in one place. Here’s to a clutter-free financial life! You owe it to yourself.
Mary Grate-Pyos, MBA, is a Certified Family Business Specialist. Of her many accomplishments, Mary is an author, former columnist and radio talk show host. She has been featured in countless publications, including the Wall Street Journal and Black Enterprise Magazine. She serves on many boards and provides advice and guidance to new entrepreneurs. She can be reached online at www.financialguide.com/MaryGrate-Pyos and www.mypearlpower.com
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Deciding What to Keep by Linda Carlberg
People have different personalities and it’s no different when it comes to their “stuff.”
• Some hoard stuff— never wanting to let things go.
• Some save more stuff than they should— to be frugal or “just in case.”
• Some believe expensive possessions make them feel better about themselves.
• Some use things for a while, then easily give them away or throw them out.
• Some are minimalists and live in “tiny houses” with as little stuff as possible.
Our relationship to our possessions has a major impact on our lives. When I was in my early twenties, I moved across the country into my first apartment with my roommate Sheree. We had sung in a traveling group and after our tours ended, we both decided to move to California.
I brought: my drafting table, art supplies, a stereo with four foot high speakers, record albums, books, clothes, a hair dryer, curling iron and make up. That’s it! She bought some furniture at a garage sale and eventually I got a bed and didn’t have to sleep on the floor anymore. We also must have had a pan or two and some dishes, because we didn’t starve to death. We had everything we needed and nothing more. In fact, we were thrilled to not be living out of our suitcases on the road with far less! 19 MeTime Journal™ | March/April 2016
Like me, you probably have a similar story about your first place away from home. When you think of that time, do you remember the things you didn’t have – or do you remember the people and the fun you had together? As all of us got older, we found jobs and began to afford not only what we needed, but what we wanted. For many, that’s when “stuff” began to accumulate – like trendy clothes and irresistibly cute shoes. Our closets began to fill up; we bought furniture and maybe even an appliance or two. The next time we moved we couldn’t just make multiple trips using our car. We had to rent a U-Haul and get help from friends. For many came marriage, children and feathering the nest. With more people came more stuff. Lots more! As time marched on, every year saw more bags of stuff come through the door and find a place to live. For single people too, things began to pile up. The problem began when there were less bags going out than coming in.
What’s Your Kryptonite? Each of us has at least one category of stuff that has a strange power to make us weak and compel us to save it. It may be:
• Books you’ve already read, will never read again, or never read at all • Clothes that don’t fit or are so old they’ve gone out of style
• Knick Knacks and decorations that have taken over and now mainly serve as dust traps • Collections that began with a memory or an event, then grew out of control (especially when friends and family added to it). Does anyone need 117 pairs of owl salt and pepper shakers? • General Clutter like paperwork, magazines, stacks of laundry, unfinished projects, or _________ • Perishables like food, medicine, or make-up beyond their expiration date • Family Memories and things once owned by relatives who have passed away
Ooooh, that last one is particularly tough, isn’t it?
Letting Go of “The Pig” Your Grandma may have gotten some cheap dishes with coupons at the grocery store and could never imagine them as a “treasure” anyone would save after she passed. They served a purpose and that was enough for her. But you still have them and can’t seem to let go of them.
I remember seeing this dilemma played out on a TV show where a crew came in to sort a family’s clutter. into three separate piles: keep, toss or donate. Everything was going well until the husband had to confront something that belonged to his mother. It was a large box with a lid, covered in funky 1970’s harvest gold and avocado green patterned vinyl. Inside was a pink canister vacuum they had nicknamed “the pig.” I’m sure my reaction was like everyone else watching, “What! Are you crazy? Throw that ugly old thing out – it probably doesn’t even work!” But that old vacuum cleaner made that big macho man cry.
What Will Be at Your Estate Sale? I actually think about this quite a bit, especially after I had an estate sale for my Mom a few years ago. Since I’m the last leaf on my family tree, I have no one to pass family treasures on to. It’s made me think differently about what I buy and choose to keep. Here are questions I ponder:
What if the material things I leave behind are less than the things I’ve done, or the number of people I’ve helped? What if the money I could have spent on something “cute” was given to someone without money to feed their children? What if I gave away more of what I don’t use to someone who really needs it?
A Place to Start Take a walk through your home and try to see your things objectively. Do you own them, or do they own you? Do you spend more time cleaning and maintaining them instead of enjoying them? Do you actually use what you have, or do you have many things stored away that will likely never be used again? Changing your relationship to “stuff” could change your life for the better. The feeling you get when giving always beats the feeling of getting. Let’s all give it a try.
You see, it’s the memories we have of the person – not the “stuff” itself – that makes it hard to let go of. Ironically, it’s in letting things go that we learn to keep what’s most important.
For more information about this subject, here are three books you may want to read:
Buried in Treasures Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving and Hoarding By David F. Tolin, Randy O. Frost and Gail Steketee
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing By Marie Kondo
Spark Joy An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up (companion to The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up) By Marie Kondo
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Burn That Candle When I was in sixth grade, my Dad gave me money to buy my Mom a Christmas present. I couldn’t decide what to get her, until I saw a display of the most beautiful candles I’d ever seen. They were made to look like many different types of petit fours and real enough to eat! I finally chose one and gave it to her as my gift and she loved it too. In fact it became a fixture in our dining room for many years. My Dad used to say, “Why don’t you burn that candle?” To him it was made for a purpose and to be used without sentimental attachment. To us, it was something special – a gift that over the years had become more than “just a candle.” Now that both my parents are gone, it’s time to finally light it and use it. I’m reminded that things are, after all, just things. There’s a time to let go. The memories are what we keep forever. Do you have things in your life that you need to let go of? Take a picture, say a sweet good-bye, a little prayer of thanks, and cherish the memories that will always be with you. by Linda Carlberg
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Collections or Connections? by Diane L. Donohue
As a kid in the 60’s, collecting stamps was a popular hobby. For some reason, we believed they would be valuable someday. They looked old and anything old should have great value, right? Almost every boy I knew collected baseball cards or comic books – which are probably worth something today – and every girl kinda “collected” dolls or Barbie stuff. It wasn’t really collecting. It was more like hoarding. The more the merrier! In the 90’s my kids collected Pokémon cards and lots of kids and adults collected Beanie Babies. All totally worthless now but the manufacturer played the “collect the whole set” game for big profits! Each Beanie had a title and was dated, like a genuine work of art. Collecting creates a sense of anticipation and collectors value the emotional currency they provide. If one makes you happy, won’t 20 make you more happy? What’s Collectible Anyway? Anything and Everything!
Every July, the San Diego County Fair is held in beautiful Del Mar and one of my favorite stops is the Hall of Collectibles. People collect some of the funkiest, nonsensical and hilarious stuff imaginable. Here’s a small sampling of some of the treasures I’ve seen over the last 25 years:
Common stuff like salt and pepper shakers of every genre and time period, dolls, autographs and clothing of all sorts. Cameras of every era, cell phones, exotic perfume bottles (someone
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always collects old Avon bottles), and clocks from all over the world to name a few. Animated characters like Mickey Mouse, Winnie the Pooh, Barbie or GI Joe are popular. These items are honestly quite dull to view and I cannot fathom how a Superman spatula could make one happy – at all! Then there are the animal obsession people who try to score anything with their favorite animal on it. I’ve seen frog pants and hair brushes and who could survive without a flamingo tea set? Gotta have it! Peculiar stuff at least makes me chuckle, like napkins and ketchup packets, because there are thousands of different kinds from all over the world. And there are literally hundreds of types of back scratchers too. Who knew? Then there’s Coca-Cola cans, water bottle labels and jars of hot sauce to collect – 6,000 is the world record to date, in case you’re considering starting you own collection.
Collecting Memories Lunch boxes are admittedly a favorite of mine, sparking good childhood memories. I even had a “That Girl” lunch box which was totally hip in the 70’s! Sneakers are a relatively new category and very big business today. I used to collect matchbooks from every restaurant, hotel or resort I visited, but no one smokes anymore; so, no more matches. They were small and useable and served as good memory joggers. Categories like airline barf-bags are really
first-class! Candles of every shape and size – did you know that there are candles shaped like body parts? Use your imagination. People even collect butterflies because they’re beautiful. But like animal heads, I don’t want anything dead on my wall. Crazy for Collecting We all treasure things, but sometimes collecting can spell trouble. People actually travel all over the world to look for their collectibles, centering family vacations around the search for the treasured “reward.” Sadly, for some it can become an unhealthful addiction like hoarding and often places financial burden on families. Collecting is Like Connecting
People cite many reasons for collecting. Some feel the objects connect them to their childhood, while others see the objects as a unique representation of their lives, like antique cars or jewelry. For many it becomes social, connecting them to other collectors. The reasons may be varied, but one thing they have in common is the fulfilment of the “hunt” and seizing the “prize”— a new collectible. Aaahh!
Collecting is just another weird human trait that delights people and Christmas is the ultimate and most socially acceptable time to collect. We don’t think it’s crazy when Aunt Lucy decorates every area of every room in her house, do we? Ok we do. But honestly, who could resist a Santa toilet brush, right? MeTime Journal™ | March/April 2016
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get centered
Nature has given us an abundance of beautiful stuff. Hang out and enjoy it!
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interview Janie Wolicki-Best: Helping Women Get Back to Work by Linda Carlberg
At some point in our lives, most of
us will be faced with unemployment due to company downsizing,
a life event, or the decision to change careers. Women Helping Women prepares job seekers to find
employment by offering programs
that work - for over 70,000 people
since 1993. Read about how donating your “stuff” can help women get back to work!
LC
Janie, second from left, with members of her staff
LC/MTJ: We love to share the stories of organizations making a difference in people’s lives like Women Helping Women. Tell us about the history of WHW.
WHW’s business model is unique in that we partner with over 275 nonprofit organizations to provide employment services to job seekers and our partners at no cost.
JB: WHW was founded in 1993 by two survivors of domestic abuse. They met in a shelter, and knew firsthand how difficult it is to put together a professional look for an interview during tough times. Once they got back on their feet, they started working together to collect women’s gently used professional clothing. They would put all the donations in the trunks of their cars, and drive from shelter to shelter trying to find women who needed help. That first year, we served 67 women. This year, we will serve over 10,000 men, women and teens with our employment supportive services.
LC/MTJ: When women join together for strength and to share resources, lives change. What kinds of services does WHW offer and to whom?
program, clients work with an expert volunteer Personal Stylist, who assist with choosing two complete professional outfits, along with accessories, shoes, beauty products and even a coupon for a complimentary haircut and style. It’s everything a job seeker needs to present a professional image and create a great first impression.
JB: WHW’s focus is employment readiness. Our mission is to provide the unemployed and the underemployed with the skills and resources they need to get and keep a good job. Our programs include professional apparel and image consulting, educational workshops, job placement services, digital literacy programs and employment retention support. In our professional apparel
Our educational workshops include Job Club, Mock Interviews, Resume Development, Confidence Building, LinkedIn and Strengths Finder, just to name a few! These workshops (which are also offered offsite at our nonprofit partner locations) are designed to help each job seeker become the most marketable candidate for the job they seek. We also provide job placement services, job fairs with partner
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employers and on the job support. Our retention programs focus on professional development for our clients once they get the job, and even provides professional executive coaching. WHW’s Digital Literacy programs provide training on all Microsoft Office products. We offer beginning, intermediate and advanced Word, Excel, Powerpoint, and Outlook, in addition to Basic Computers and Navigating the Internet. Each of our Digital Literacy programs have been developed based on employer feedback regarding skills gaps The clients that we serve today truly are your next door neighbor or your brother. Anyone who is underemployed or unemployed may receive services at WHW. 75% of our clients are women, 40% are of Hispanic descent and clients range in age from 14 to 81 years old. 97% are low income according to HUD guidelines. Most of victims of the economic downturn, corporate downsizing and those recovering from a traumatic event, such as death of a spouse or divorce. LC/MTJ: How many people has WHW helped find employment since it was founded in 1993? Why does your system work when others fail? JB: WHW has provided a path out of poverty to over 70,000 men and women since 1993. Our innovative, “tough love” approach to job seeking is what sets us apart. Most of the job seekers we see just need a little coaching, or a fresh, new resume. We believe that the key ingredients for job search success are the same for everyone, from janitor to CEO, and our programs are universal. The more sophisticated client may choose Networking in
Action or Optimizing Your LinkedIn profile, while a less experienced client may choose Job Club. 65% of our job seekers obtain employment within 3 months of service. Why? Because they have all the key tools after visiting WHW: Professional clothing, a great resume, understands the importance of networking and can ace an interview. Our programs give our job seekers the confidence they need to succeed.
earned their way and created something out of nothing. I got to where I am today by working hard, and you will, too. Your job is to pull yourself up by your bootstraps!” And that is exactly what we do at WHW! We give our job seekers a hand up instead of a handout. I am honoring my father’s legacy through this role at WHW. And making our community a safer place, because the entire community thrives when all who want to work, do!
LC/MTJ: What is your background, and why is WHW not just a job, but a passion for you?
LC/MTJ: What is Club 259?
JB: I went to Business School. I thought I would become an analyst for an oil company. Shortly before I graduated from college, I realized I would never be happy not making a difference. So once I earned my degree, I took a job with the Boy Scouts of America. And that is where I found my passion for making a difference. I spent nearly 20 years working in youth oriented nonprofit organizations, helping to shape the citizens of tomorrow. My Dad was a Marine. He used to say, “Jane, my parents came here with $1 in their pockets. They
JB: Club 259 is WHW’s annual donor circle. It costs only $259 for WHW to provide all of its services to a job seeker. It’s an amazing investment! This year, Club 259 members are supporting 192 clients with their investment in WHW. LC/MTJ: Can you tell us about a couple of the women who have been helped by WHW? JB: Cherish is a client who really stands out. Her husband was abusive, but Cherish stayed for financial reasons. She finally had (Continued on the following page)
Janie with clients participating in the Mock Interview Program MeTime Journal™ | March/April 2016
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interview (Janie Best continued from previous page)
the courage to leave when her husband sexually abused her daughter. She fled with the clothing on their backs, without any support from family or friends. Once safely in a women’s shelter, Cherish came to WHW. Here, she learned the skills she needed to succeed in the workforce, and found something else, too: confidence and sense of worth. Today, Cherish is working full time, her daughter is happy, healthy and in high school. And she says she owes it all to WHW. Sandy was a stay at home Mom for 15 years. Prior to her marriage, she earned a law degree, but had not passed the bar. When her husband left her with 4 children, she became a single Mom who had never worked. Once her children were in high school, Sandy wanted to get into the workforce. She came to WHW and did not know where to start. She worked on her resume, did LOTS of mock interviews, and then attended Confidence Building. That’s when things really changed for Sandy. She found the confidence she needed to take control of her life. She passed the California Bar Exam on the first try. She is now happily employed as an attorney, specializing in HOA law. So when we say the people that we serve are your neighbors, we mean it! LC/MTJ: How are you able to offer these services at no charge? JB: 5 years ago, WHW’s income was 95% public support: federal, state, county and city funding. Today, WHW’s income is 100% privately funded. We are so thankful for the generosity of
individuals, corporate and private foundations and support from fundraising events that invest in WHW year after year. In a time of tremendous growth (over 400% since 2009), private support is critical to WHW. 91 cents of every dollar donated goes directly to program services, and donors know that a dollar invested in WHW puts people back to work. Every person’s life has been touched by unemployment, and once people understand what we do, they open up their hearts and checkbooks to WHW. LC/MTJ: As you know, this is the “Stuff!” issue of MeTime Journal. Most of our readers have closets containing things they no longer need. Why is it important to find an organization that will pass our things along to someone who really needs them? JB: So many of us are blessed with “stuff.” And we don’t have to worry about where our next meal will come from, or if the power will still be on when we get home. You can help ensure that there will be food on the table and a light to read by when you “pay it forward” by donating your extra “stuff.” You might think it’s just another handbag, but for a woman who escaped an abusive relationship and needs to work, it represents normalcy. And hope for the future. There are many worthy organizations out there who would gladly accept your gently used items. If you’re in Orange County, California or surrounding areas, I hope you will consider WHW! LC/MTJ: WHW has locations in five cities in Southern California.
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What kinds of donations and help do you accept? JB: We accept men’s and women’s professional and casual clothing, shoes, accessories, handbags, briefcases, beauty products and hygiene items. All items should be new or gently used, and all donations are welcome! A complete donation wish list can be found here: http://www.whw.org/donate/clothing-and-accessories-donations LC/MTJ: We can donate, but we can also shop to support WHW! How does that work? JB: WHW has two social enterprise activities. Deja New is our upscale resale boutique, where you can buy name brand and designer clothing at exceptionally low prices. The quarterly Saturday Sale is a huge clothing sale for casual and noninterview appropriate clothing, and nothing is over $5. 100% of the proceeds from these two activities go directly to support WHW’s employment readiness programs.
Janie Wolicki is Chief Executive Officer/ Executive Director of Women Helping Women. She has over 22 years of experience as a non-profit professional with expertise in organizational structures, budgeting, fundraising and relationship building. Janie leads the WHW staff with her experience in major gifts, annual campaigns and large scale special events.
www.WHW.org
Authentically Yours – Stuff That Matters Most by Diane L Donohue
orgeous, charming, lovely – oh, how I want that! Every woman secretly believes that having a dream home and the gorgeous furnishings to fill it will somehow provide happiness. Some also believe that the designer purse or outfit will do it. But as any philosopher, therapist or millionaire will tell you…things won’t make you happy.
G
We know that things are temporary pleasures and yet we crave and desire things of beauty and fascination. I need a new cell phone, I want a new car. I’m at that point in life where I want less stuff and want for more pleasurable experiences. I’d rather have wings than things! Lost and Found
We soon come to realize that with too much stuff, we can't find anything we need and we often lose ourselves. Things distract us from true happiness. I know a woman who became exhausted by her home’s neediness that even with a housekeeper, she felt shackled to its everyday call. She moved into a one bedroom condo and is happier than ever. The smaller cost means she can travel more. And with less stuff, it takes less time to clean which equals more time for fun!
“Three moves are as good as a fire.”
– Anonymous
Moving can be a hard task and if we pare down our stuff, we’re lucky to escape with our lives. If you haven’t moved in years, it’s time to act like you will. Begin a “Things I Absolutely Love” file and keep ONLY those things. Organizing is like rehabilitation and we all need rehab – at least once a year! Ask your authentic self, “Who am I today?”
You are not the same woman you were five years ago, so why do you still have those old clothes, jackets or shoes? If you have not worn them in 3 years – please donate them before they are so out of style nobody will want them. Did you always want a garden? Spending time gardening will yield you so much more pleasure than dusting knick knacks. “Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?” – Janis Joplin
Instead of thanking God for another chemically created possession He did not create, why not get out and enjoy what He did?? You will never regret a day spent outside in Nature.
Here’s my version
of a perfectly happy day!
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Discover Your Life’s Purpose by Kelly Orchard, LMFT
Do you feel stressed out? Are you overwhelmed and tired all the time? Are you frustrated because your life is just not working the way you expected? It really may not be as bad as it seems. If you’re feeling this way, it simply means that you are ready to grow. And all you need are the right tools!
Life is about change and growth.
Just like gardening, personal growth is an ongoing process. Let’s imagine that you want to plant a garden. What is the first thing you would do? You’d begin by deciding where you want the garden to be and how you want it to look. Next, you’d think about the kinds of plants you want – flowers, succulents, vegetables, fruits – and choose specifically those plants that are best suited for your environment. Then you would enjoy contemplating how you would like to use them. 31 MeTime Journal™ | March/April 2016
Now you’re ready to begin building your gaden, starting with the soil. A good gardener amends the soil so it has the right nutrients, fertility, and texture to help your plants thrive. Next, you cultivate the soil and make a path for the seeds to be planted. Once you’ve planted the seeds, you water and tend to the young plants. Why all this talk about creating a garden? Because to create the life you want, you need to envision and tend to your life, just as you would envision and tend a garden.
Do you wonder what your purpose in life is?
Your life purpose is constantly evolving. Think of your purpose at this season of life as how you want your garden to look, and what you want it to produce. No matter what season of life we are in, we’re always seeking something new. My philosophy is this: If you’re constantly, perpetually promoting your personal growth, you are going to know your purpose, because your purpose is to continue to grow! Your purpose may change from month to month, or year to year, but as long as you are committed to personal growth, your life purpose will appear to you, step by step.
How do you promote personal growth?
By cultivating it! Personal growth requires learning, and that involves steps such as reading, exploring new ideas, and attending workshops, classes, and seminars. Just like cultivating the soil of your garden, you prepare for your purpose to bloom with the following steps: 1. Discover your values, practices and habits.
2. Uncover what it is you want and give yourself permission to make it happen. 3. Dream about it. 4. Love the idea.
5. Set an intention. 6. Begin slowly.
Take steps to deal with your main concerns right now. Identify the problems you struggle with the most, and consider what seeds have been planted in your mind. When you begin your day, do you start out thinking negatively? Do you beat yourself up when something doesn’t work out, or do you give yourself some credit and celebrate your successes, even the little ones? Zig Ziglar says “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily.” Recognizing your successes and practicing gratitude daily will plant positive seeds in your mind and heart, which will in turn, nurture your business and personal life. Negative seeds need to be weeded out. Nurture only the positive seeds.
Focus on your strengths and live with purpose.
For example, if you want to work on the fear of rejection, you can practice getting rejected. I’m serious! Make a game of it. Head out for the day just asking for rejection! If you’re afraid of people telling you no, go out and count how many no’s you can collect in a day. This therapeutic “desensitization” technique will teach you to overcome the fear of rejection by becoming less vulnerable to it. Once you change the way you think about your fears, there will be no holding you back! Be open to new possibilities.
There are learnable skills. Robert Holden, author of Happiness Now said, “One new perception, one fresh thought, one act of surrender, one change of heart, one leap of faith, can change your life forever.” Be honest about the talents you have. Every one of us was given talents. Are you good at sales, math, engineering, cooking, sports, physical fitness, shopping, writing, dancing, painting, parenting or other things? Are you grateful for your abilities? Sometimes we take our talents and skills for granted. And if we don’t possess a specific talent, we allow ourselves to feel we aren’t as good as we should be. Nonsense! Nobody is good at everything. Instead, focus on your strengths and stop worrying about those things that are not strengths at this time in your life. Keep in mind that you can always learn new skills; this is part of your personal growth process. Spring is a great time to begin clearing out the clutter of negative thinking. Let this be the spring season of your life, a time of freshness and growth. Visualize your personal growth as you visualize a garden. Break it down into reasonable steps such as reading, attending workshops or seminars, seeking counseling or therapy, eating a healthy diet, and starting an exercise program. You don’t have to do it all at once but just start somewhere!
Kelly Orchard is an author, speaker, coach and licensed Psychotherapist. She is also a heart failure survivor which became the catalyst to change careers. She coaches individuals and organizations to produce success through personal growth so they can define their true purpose, cultivate meaningful experiences and have fun doing it. www.KellyOrchard.com
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Three Cheers for Chia Seeds! by Michele Broad seeds to teas and water to help them stay focused and alert for their rigorous studies. They also contain 1620 mg Omega-6 fatty acids per ounce, a wallop of goodness for heart health.
Chia seeds have been used by mankind for their health benefits for centuries. Both the Mayans and Aztecs used these seeds in their diets for generations and today people all around the world enjoy the various nutritional benefits of chia seeds.
seeds come with a variety of superpowers that target different health problems such as helping to control or abate diabetes, giving our bones added nutrient support, decreasing our risk for coronary artery disease, and they can improve your exercise performance too.
Small but powerful, chia seeds are chocked full of vitamins and minerals and are easy to add to your everyday diet. They can be used in cooking, added to beverages, used in baked goods, salads, and so much more. These seeds have about 140 calories per two tablespoons, along with a healthy dose of omega-3 fatty acids, fiber, and protein. They also contain all nine essential amino acids, which are the muscle-building protein building blocks our bodies need but don’t produce naturally – we have to get them from food. To say chia seeds are good for you is an understatement. These little
Chia seeds are a good source of Omega-3 fatty acids as mentioned, which are a vital polyunsaturated fat. Due to the chia seed’s lipid profile, which is composed of about 60% omega-3s, they are one of the richest plant sources of essential fatty acids.
A good source of antioxidants, chia seeds help to protect the body from free radicals, cancer, and the negative effects of aging. Due to the volume of antioxidants found in chia seeds, they are incredibly durable and have a long shelf life. Chia seeds can last up to two years without refrigeration—but you’ll likely use them long before that!
Specifically, they’re a great source of alpha linolenic acid, also known as ALA. The omega-3s in chia seeds are great for helping reduce inflammation and high cholesterol, and can greatly enhance ones’ cognitive abilities and performance. In fact, many students add these
Fiber is great for keeping the bowels regular, lowering cholesterol, reducing inflammation, and keeping you full after a healthy meal. Chia seeds contain a lot of fiber, coming in at about 10 grams in just two tablespoons. Many people find it hard to get the recommended amount of
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fiber into their daily diet, so chia seeds are an easy way to add this nutrient in healthy doses. Just two tablespoons of chia seeds include up to 18% of the Daily Recommended Intake for calcium, 24% for magnesium, 35% for phosphorous, and up to 50% for manganese. These nutrients are very important for helping the body fight against hypertension as well as maintain a healthy weight. They are also imperative as they help DNA synthesis and energy metabolism, ensuring that you have enough energy to get through your day. Chia seeds can be digested whole unlike other high fiber, high omega-3
seeds such as flaxseed. So chia seeds are much more versatile and can be added to different dishes in a number of ways. Flaxseeds and the like must be ground to experience full health benefits, but chia seeds can be eaten, drunk, and digested whole and still offer the same amount of nutrients and minerals. One of the main problems of dieting is not feeling full or satiated. Many people cheat on their diets or simply struggle because the foods they’re eating does not contain enough protein or fiber to keep them full and focused and they find themselves feeling hungry and experiencing cravings. Chia seeds offer satiety, which helps you lower food cravings between meals. Due to the “gelling”
effect of chia seeds when mixed with water, tea or other liquids, they help you feel fuller much longer. Chia seeds also contain a decent amount of protein. By weight, they are about 14% protein, which is high compared to most plants. Protein reduces appetite and chia seeds are an excellent protein source for people who eat little or no animal products. For those who are on a strictly gluten-free diet, chia seeds are absolutely grain and gluten free, so they can be added without worry. So you can see that among the few trendy “superfoods” chia seeds are actually worthy of that term.
Everything in Moderation? by Diane L. Donohue
I wish! We’ve heard this line over and over, as a way to excuse our love of junk food. A little ice cream and a little fried food are ok, right? Yeah…. No! A little poison is still poison.
Dr. David Ludwig, a Harvard Medical School nutrition and obesity expert and author of, "Always Hungry?" states that the evidence is in; what you eat matters regardless of how much. Even a moderate amount of processed foods and sugar is not “ok “for good health. A study in New England Journal of Medicine gave 7,000 people at risk for heart disease either a Mediterranean diet (high in fruits, vegetables, olive oil and nuts), or a low-fat diet.
The results showed that heart disease dropped so low in the Mediterranean diet group, the researchers had to stop the study because “it would have been unethical to keep the control group eating the low-fat diet." Ludwig said. And eating these foods in moderation was not enough.
Other scientific research has shown “moderation” doesn’t work either. An American Journal of Clinical Nutrition study showed that eating moderate amounts of sweets, snacks, carbs and condiments made people fatter- period!
An NIH study showed that Type 2 Diabetes risk decreased when people ate a high variety of fruits and a lot of vegetables. A PLOS ONE (Public Library of Science) study last year analyzed the diets and relative risks of obesity and diabetes for a diverse group of about 5,000 American adults. The results showed a strong argument against one of nutrition's most persistent axioms that 'eating everything in moderation' doesn’t lead to better health. Study after study proved this. But did we need more studies to prove the obvious? I guess so.
Bottom line- We need to eat a lot of veggies, fruits and some oils, nuts and seeds to be healthy. So, how much processed foods, including grains and sugar are good for health? How about ZERO! Probably time to retire the “everything in moderation” lie!
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Wear Who You Are Take off the Costume & Show Up as You Are!
by Katherine Johnson How do you carve a statue of an elephant? It’s simple. You start with a block of marble and chip away everything that doesn’t look like an elephant. This joke reminds me of the ongoing journey we are all on to be urselves, to celebrate who we are, and to be authentic in the world.
So, how do you become more of yourself?
You just let go of anything that isn’t truly you. The problem is it usually isn’t easy.
Like most women, I wear many hats in my life. Years ago, people would often comment that I had the “perfect” life. It certainly looked that way. Based on everything you saw from the outside, you might have thought I had it all figured out — I was an Ivy League graduate with loads of potential, an exceptional athlete, competing for ten years as one of the best squash players in the country, a budding professional, as well as a wife and eventually a parent. But the truth was that on the inside I felt completely invisible. I felt unsure of myself and paralyzed by the fear that nothing I did was good enough. What happens when how you show up in life doesn’t feel connected to who you truly are inside?
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What I didn’t know at the time was that I was in the middle of doing a dance with authenticity. Although I was recognized for different parts of myself, I was simultaneously hiding my true self from the world. And I was paying the price for incongruent living.
When I learned to be more connected to myself, to show up in a way that matches and communicates who I am, everything about my life changed. I still wear many hats: entrepreneur, speaker, educator, mom, athlete, and friend – but what stays consistent now is my connection and commitment to myself. My wardrobe specifically, and my presence effortlessly reflect who I now know myself to be. I have the joy and confidence that when I walk into a room, people just get me. It is an ongoing process of letting go of anything that isn’t really me. The heart of my work is to compassionately help women over forty gracefully reclaim the truth of who they are so that their outer image, including the clothes they wear, align to create a congruent, effortless, authentic expression of themselves.
The questions I frequently explore with my clients are:
• What does it look like to show up as your best self? • When others look at you, do they see an authentic expression of who you truly are?
Your presence matters. Your presence and how you hold yourself speaks volumes before you even say a word. It has the ability to facilitate meaningful
connections and opportunities, both in your personal
and professional life. Are you being yourself? Are you connected to yourself and connecting with others?
The thing about clothing is it can help you connect or it can disrupt that connection from happening.
There are three ways that clothing keeps us from
being ourselves and disrupts meaningful connection
from happening.
The Armor The Invisibility Cloak
This is a wardrobe that makes you disappear into the masses. Invisible to your ideal clients and to the connections you need to make.
I spent decades using my clothes as an invisibility cloak. What I didn’t realize was that everything about the way I looked and lived silently said, “DON’T SEE ME.” Being invisible in this way quietly sabotaged my own desire to make a bigger impact in the world. The invisibility cloak feels safe but it creates a debilitating shield that limits the life you could live.
Armor is supposed to make you look more polished but actually makes you look cold and unapproachable. Wearing your clothes as armor turns people off and it can burn you out. It is exhausting to don that shell of protection every day.
A woman client of mine, Heather, spent two decades working as a trailblazer in a highly intense and competitive professional environment. When she came to me, she couldn’t figure out why the person she thought she was didn’t match the person she saw in photographs.
How she saw herself and the way others saw her did not mesh. The problem was, although Heather looked the part of an executive and successful woman, her wardrobe was actually a closet full of exquisite, high-end, black designer armor. She had spent so long protecting herself as she achieved status and success that the price was costly. She didn’t even know what it meant to connect as herself and share who she truly was.
What you don’t even realize is that you might be wearing one of these three costumes and it is limiting your ability to make a bigger impact in your life. The key to dressing confidently is to let your unique style shine through. You want to wear the colors, fabrics, and the styles that are most YOU, without the costume, so that you can connect with the right people in your life, who are out there looking for exactly you.
The act of reclaiming who you are and being yourself requires a discerning focus and commitment to what is
Friendly Clothes
Wearing friendly clothes is dressing to be liked, so that you don’t seem too powerful, pushy or arrogant. Using clothes in this way actually waters down your presence and limits your opportunity to show up powerfully as yourself.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become
who you truly are.”
—Carl Jung
truly you. When you align what you wear with who you are, the impact is clear. Taking off the costume and showing up as yourself leads to greater connection, increased confidence and more joy for living from a place of authenticity.
Katherine Johnson is the founder and owner of Spark. An internationally known image consultant and speaker, she is known for teaching women over forty how to gracefully amplify their presence with an outer image that increases connection, confidence and positions them for success.
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Magnesium Can Help Blood Sugar Levels Did you know that magnesium supplements can improve blood sugar among people who are at high risk for developing diabetes? Studies show that many people with pre-diabetes are deficient and by adding about 400 mg of magnesium daily, blood sugar improves by 22%. Magnesium can even improve blood sugar levels in people who are not deficient. Michele Broad, NP-C
Good Stu
Another thing things can't do – make you feel awe!
Nature's awe-inspiring experiences can help you live longer. Gazing out over a mountain scape or even beholding an artistic masterpiece can trigger positive emotions with immune-boosting, anti-inflammatory effects that help prevent heart disease and depression among other chronic health issues. UC Berkeley found that feelings of awe and wonder are associated with lower levels of cytokines, pro-inflammatory proteins that can stress the immune system. Aaaah!! 37 MeTime Journal™ | March/April 2016
Bring Back THE
Home Arts BY LINDA CARLBERG
I come from a family line of craftspeople that worked with their hands and made stuff. Beautiful stuff. Useful stuff.
On the men’s side, some of my Grandfathers and Great-Grandfathers (and my Dad) worked with wood. They built houses, furniture, sewing cabinets, decorative boxes (see below), church pews and more. For some it was a vocation and for others, a hobby. u
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O
n the women’s side, my Grandmothers and Great-Grandmothers were mostly homemakers. My Dad’s Mom, as well as my Mom, knitted and sewed. They made clothes, sweaters, blankets, afghans, woven rugs on a loom and created dainty decorative doilies to make their homes more beautiful with a feminine touch. They also hand made things to give away to the church and for baby showers, and friends.
I never thought much about it as a kid, but when I look back, I remember knitting bags next to chairs holding projects to pick up and work on in the evening – or when there were a few minutes to spare. Our home was always busy with homemade projects. I became very familiar with fabric and patterns and all kinds of sewing terms like “bodice” and “empire waist.” There were sewing machines and zig-zagging, rick rack and fittings. There was also the anticipation of seeing the finished “work of art” and the satisfaction of a job well done.
Today, our lives move at a pace that’s very different from our grandparents. We don’t sit by the radio in the evening and listen to a story, using our imagination to visualize it. We seldom slow down and turn off our electronic devices to curl up and read a “real” book, enjoying the quiet and savoring the meaning of words inside our mind without distraction. Can you remember the last time you wrote a story or drew a picture?
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We also cook less because of time constraints or for “convenience.” We’ve mostly forgotten the joy of planting a garden and the satisfaction of watching it grow – whether for beautiful flowers or a little harvest of homegrown fresh food. My Mom and Grandparents all canned fruit and vegetables they mostly grew themselves – something many of us today think is reserved for tree huggers and doomsday preppers. Not so! It’s still smart, and economical and personally satisfying.
As for me, my values are changing. I see the affects in my life of working too much, wasting time with electronic gadgets, and lack of physical activity. Now I cook more frequently and healthier, enjoy getting outdoors to walk the dog, and “unplugging.” At Christmas time I made a wreath – the first “craft” I’ve done in – forever. Returning to a simpler life that’s more back-tothe-basics not only feels better, it’s more satisfying and even peaceful.
Will I ever crochet? Probably not. As a left hander, I gave up around sixth grade and so did those who tried to teach me – backwards!
The Home Arts of making things by hand, growing food to prepare and eat, and making a house a home with simple basics is useful, satisfying and wonderful to pass on to the next and future generations. There isn’t an app for that.
To me, the work of my Grandmother is fine art. With just her hands, a simple crochet hook and cotton thread, she created intricate, delicate, exquisitely beautiful “magic.” MeTime Journal™ | March/April 2016
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ask michele with Michele Broad, NP-C
y, t e i x n a o d t W ha day y r e v e d n a stress do o t e v a h s pressure ? iw t h insomnia Are you aware that there is a very common link between anxiety, stress, every day pressures, and insomnia? So much so that the three can lead you in a never ending cycle. Research shows that treating insomnia is an effective way of dealing with those feelings of anxiety, stress, and every day pressures. Chronic insomnia is more rampant than you may realize, it actually affects 10 percent of adults in the U.S. alone. Chronic insomnia is characterized by having sleep issues for one month or more. This includes not being able to fall asleep, stay asleep or just feeling that overall, your quality of sleep is suffering. If you think you may be dealing with chronic insomnia, it may be possible that it is an underlying sign of another health issue such as heart disease, diabetes, pregnancy, menopause, or arthritis and it is important to visit your medical provider first. Many times insomnia can be caused by another issue. For example, if you are feeling anxious, depressed, or stressed out you may not be sleeping well; and If you take steps to treat these causes this can ultimately help with your insomnia issues.
Certain foods can contribute to anxiety, stress, and insomnia. Alcohol and caffeine are known to be the two biggest culprits. Try to avoid foods such as tea, coffee, soft drink, and chocolate. If you are taking any medications, look to see if they contain caffeine, unfortunately many do. If you currently smoke and are dealing with anxiety and/or insomnia then you may want to consider quitting. Did you know that nicotine increases your blood pressure? Which in turn increases your heart rate and stimulates your brain and then you wonder why you can’t get a good night’s sleep! You may feel that drinking a glass or two of wine before bed will help you sleep. It does help you fall asleep initially, but your sleep will not last long and you will wake up feeling tired and groggy. You’ll be lucky to even get back to sleep at all. If you are looking for foods that will help you sleep then choose those that contain calcium, B vitamins and magnesium. One of the best ways to deal with anxiety, stress, and insomnia is by starting some type of exercise routine. A 20 minute daily walk can do wonders for your health, and help induce sleep at night time. Avoid
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exercising too close to bed time, as this can stimulate your brain and body. Start out by walking 2 or 3 times each week. Another cause of your insomnia could be your bedroom! Keep your room as dark as possible and free from any noise such as the light from the television or an outside street light. If you happen to live on a busy street you might want to try wearing a sleep mask at night. Also check the temperature of your room. You don’t want to be too warm. Some people find it helpful to sleep with their window open a little, when possible. Trying not to get anxious or stressed out over not sleeping is not easy. The more you fret and worry the worse your insomnia becomes; it truly is a vicious cycle. You may want to get into the habit of trying some calming routines before bed. Taking a warm bubble bath filled with lavender, drinking herbal tea, listening to some relaxing music or even reading can all help induce sleep. Start to condition your mind that you are tired and that you will fall asleep easily. It will be difficult at first but try to always keep a positive mindset. Look forward to sleep – maybe even treat yourself to a new pillow and comforter.
Stuff Rules!
by Diane L. Donohue
N o one wants to admit it – but stuff rules the world. Advertising is one of the largest industries in the world and the wealth of places like China proves that point. Yeah, stuff rocks. No matter how detached we may feel about things, we all love new stuff. Y ou even see homeless people carting around bags of useless stuff. I think it must be part of the human experience. The novelty of something new gives us pleasure – temporary of course – but it feels good in the moment.
I am writing this on December 22, exactly three days before Christmas, the international holiday for getting and giving stuff. When I was a kid, Easter was mainly a “candy” holiday. It was very special because we got a new outfit for church and usually an Easter bonnet. Today kids get all kinds of stuff at Easter. We got new clothes a few times a year, mainly because we really needed them. We played outside and were rough on clothes, yet managed to get by with a fraction of what kids have today.
I Can’t Buy No Satisfaction
This Christmas felt especially nice to me because I walked around the stores and looked at everything with the thought that I am so blessed that there was nothing I needed. It was a great feeling – refreshingly liberating! Usually I’ll find something I’d like but not this year. The requirements to keep one safe, warm and content were already mine. I am very lucky. I felt completely complete. It’s not that I have everything. It’s just that I wanted for nothing, no-things. Thank you God!
Love Me, Love Me Not!
I have a love/hate relationship with stuff. The journey to declutter began 15 years ago and I'm still not there. So, I’ve come to the sad conclusion – I’ll never be done! I have a continuous feed of stuff in my trunk to donate. Looks like I live out of my car sometimes. At the donation center, they know me on a first name
(Continued on the following page)
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basis. I have made some progress though. I went from five bookcases to one and I have the one-inone-out rule: new thing in – old one out!
Happy to Say Good-bye
I have helped many people “declutter” their stuff. Paradoxically, even if we love things, it feels good to let them go. It feels energizing and is an enlightening experience – to be thankful for an item and to recognize the time has come to pass it on to someone else who may need or like it. It often feels like losing weight – because it is.
Just Say No
About five years ago, I made a birthday pact that I would not buy any new clothes, shoes or books (because those are my “problem” purchases) from January ‘til August. I didn’t buy a thing, but I still had too much stuff. So here I am again at the same crossroad. My new pact started in January – no new clothes all the way through 2016. Wish me luck!
George Carlin Said it Best…
“That's all your house is – a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time. A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. That's what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get...more stuff!”
So… WHY Have Less Stuff?
1) Stuff takes up time, not just space
That's the real reason I don't want it anymore. To clean and organize my stuff takes too much time. The less I have, the less I have to clean.Yay!! “The Earth, our home, is beginning to look more and more like an immense pile of filth.” – Pope Francis
2) Stuff clutters our lives and our planet
Stuff has taken a toll on the earth. Landfills are brimming with plastic junk in our throwaway society. Few people really use all the kitchen gadgets 43 MeTime Journal™ | March/April 2016
they buy like that rice-cooker or iced tea pot. Recently I had to throw away a 15 year old vaporizer. I was bummed because it could not be fixed (and we tried). I really felt bad that it would wind up in a land fill. “He is nearest to God, who needs the fewest things.” – Socrates
3) Too Many Things = Not Enough Love
My personal theory is that we do not have time to maintain a lot of stuff or other joys tend to suffer like our relationships. That’s why as people get older, they tend to value people and experiences more. I’ve known many older folks who have given away their most precious things. It’s a beautiful thing to witness. They get pleasure giving it away. I know I do! “He who buys what he does not need, steals from himself.” – Swedish Proverb So would you like to have less stuff to care for? Many people would rather buy a larger house than to do with less stuff. It’s a shame really, because the larger the house the more financial resources one spends to keep it. That often equates to more work hours too. The money and time could be used for more meaningful experiences.
4) Hang On… Help is On its Way
Why not lighten your load and have more time for experiences you really enjoy? Here is a powerful, yet difficult exercise I give my clients to help them decide what to keep and what to donate/sell/toss. It will help you discern what is genuinely important. The Top 10! If there was a fire (God forbid) and you could grab only 10 items from your home, not including personal pictures or videos, what would they be? What is irreplaceable to you? Don’t let stuff rule your life. Get out and have fun. Volunteer your time to meaningful pursuits.You’ll appreciate life more. Those who do, have fewer regrets than those that don’t!
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Ianthe Mauro
Objects With Purpose | ObjectsWithPurpose.com
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My candles and fragrances are beautiful, memory evoking and can be used as a way to set an intention (when lighting the flame), or rubbed into the skin as a moisturizer or solid perfume. My candles elevate any room and are soothing.
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I was going through a difficult transition. I had been diagnosed with auto-immune disease and my children were very young. I found out that most conventional candles are toxic and worried that my “candle obsession” could be contributing to my illness. “Objects With Purpose” was born to bring clean burning, artisan candles into the world.
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I believe we can do everything with purpose. Some call it mindfulness. I kept saying to myself, "I need to come up with a name that inspires one to look at every object with purpose, even candles." Objects With Purpose” became the brand name!
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Do you have a favorite quote, motto, or Mission Statement you’d like to share?
"Do one thing every day that scares you." -Eleanor Roosevelt
Being an entrepreneur is uncomfortable and if I forget to challenge myself every day I risk losing inspiration. Being "scared" keeps me alert and inspired!
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