February 2015 Mississippi Christian Living by Mississippi Christian Living

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contents FEBRUARY 2015 Join our Mississippi Mobile Club Today! Text MCLAPP to 95577 and download our Mobile App for free! Text stop 2 quit. Standard data rates apply.

columns 9 The Way I See It The Difference Is Jesus

10 Let’s Talk It Over What Gets In the Way of Empathy?

14 The Doctor Is In A Visit with Periodontist Dr. Reid Lester

18 Let’s Get Real Restoring the Heart of Love in Marriage

20 This Is My Story A Cinderella Proposal

22 Living My Call As for Me and My House

features

34 Food for Thought All Things Red and Yummy

Beth O’Reilly

36 Chewed Petunias

A New Heart

Digging for the Roots

38 Christian Commerce Sitters, LLC Is a Homegrown Business

40 Money Matters Before You Invest—Four Simple Questions to Ask Yourself

43 Legal Advice

Role Reversal—When the Child Becomes the Parent

44 What’s Going On Dr. Ben Carson to Speak in Tupelo

in every issue 6 44 45 46 46

Editor’s Letter Rave Reviews Events Calendar Quips & Quotes Advertiser Index

What’s Coming Next Month? Christian Leaders of the Future Spotlights Outstanding High School Seniors Who Are Walking in Faith

➺

CONNECT WITH US: twitter.com/MSChristLiving

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Volume 9, Number 8 Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc., Member, M.I.P.A. Editor: Marilyn Tinnin marilyn@mschristianliving.com Associate Editor: Suzanne Durfey Art Direction/Graphic Design Sandra K. Goff Sales Marilyn Tinnin, Kimberly Stephens, Suzanne Durfey, Tara Dowden, Jenny Ruth Kennedy, Kimberly Hooker, Lauren Black Contributing Writers Lydia Bolen, William B. Howell, Scott T. Marshall, Will McNeese, Rev. Bill Rap, Susan E. Richardson, Caroline Smith, Martin E. Willoughby, Jr. Cover Photography Stegall Imagery Distribution Assistants Avery Cahee, Laura Kidder, Randy Fortenberry, Andrea Sabillion, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Priscilla Sullivan, Bob Whatley, Amanda Weems

Mississippi Christian Living 573 Highway 51 North, Suite C Ridgeland, MS 39157 Phone 601-790-9076 • Fax 601-790-9078 www.mschristianliving.com

Mississippi Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and lifechanging encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Mississippi Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Mississippi Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2015 by Mississippi Christian Living, Inc. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of International Bible Society.

Mississippi Christian Living is published monthly and is available at high traffic locations throughout the state. Copies are also available by subscription, $29 for one year. Single issues available for $3 an issue. POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Mississippi Christian Living, 573 Highway 51 North, Suite C, Ridgeland, MS 39157.

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➺editor’s letter Love—It’s Worth the Price For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39 Heart-shaped boxes of candy line the shelves of supermarkets and drug stores. There is a line at the Hallmark counter. Themes of love are everywhere. Unless you live under a rock, you have noticed Valentine’s Day is near. According to the

you ❝ All need is love.

❞

– THE BEATLES

National Retail Federation, Americans will spend approximately 17.6 billion dollars to say, “I love you” this year. A staggering figure in the same country where 40 to 50 percent of us fail at marriage at least once, and there is so much disharmony between the sexes, the races, and the political parties! I don’t know of anything in our upside down world that has been more advertised, and at the same time more distorted, in recent years than the word love. Not long ago in a study on the book of Revelation, a respected Bible teacher taught that for everything God designs, Satan designs a counterfeit. I am reminded of the street vendors in New York City who sell knockoffs of just about every designer label a consumer desires. Those fakes can look pretty good at first, but it is not long before the shoddy workmanship or the lesser materials disappoint. Like the authentic purse or piece of jewelry, love that lasts does require a greater investment of capital. It would be a good idea to study the real thing before spending frivolously on the imitation. Who would know that the real thing is so worth it if our chief source of information on the subject comes from the glossy covers of the star-studded magazines in the checkout lane at the Kroger? It occurs to me that the Agape brand of love described in the familiar love passage of 1 Corinthians 13 is one of the most expensive exercises there could possibly be when it comes to human relations. It is not a feeling as much as it is an action. Not seeking our own comfort or rights, not demanding our way, always loving the other regardless of reciprocity—what could be more foreign in today’s world or more counter to our selfish natures? Christ’s sacrificial death is the only perfect example. We speak so often of the “free” gift of eternal life that we fail to fully consider there was nothing “free” about it from God’s perspective. There is a great paradox in authentic love. Even in our imperfect attempts, the sacrifice required—whether it is a sleepless night walking the floor with a crying infant, sitting by the sick bed of a dying friend, or waking up day after day to go to a job we despise in order to take care of those who depend on us—is always worth it in the long run. The more we allow God’s love to invade our “me-oriented” hearts, the more of His kind of love we have to give to everyone around us. And as is more often than not the case in God’s economy, the blessings have a way of coming back to us. Get ready to examine your own perceptions of love in this issue. Beth O’Reilly’s miracle heart transplant inspired me on so many levels. The steady prayers and perseverance of her friends and family through her critical illness, the loving and anonymous gift of a heart from a griefstricken family, and God’s supernatural presence tell a profound love story you won’t soon forget. On the eve of her daughter’s wedding, Cindy Townsend shares a mother’s heart in “This is My Story.” And in “Living My Call,” Reverend and Mrs. Clifton Goodloe give us their best advice on marriage and parenting from the vantage point of 50 successful years, six children, and 15 grandchildren! Lydia’s “Food for Thought” appeals to the “sweet tooth” in all of us this month. Martin Willoughby’s “As I See It” reminds us of the only true motivation for the Christian life—love for Christ. Happy Valentine’s Day! Enjoy. As Beth O’Reilly says, “Love is the only thing it is okay to do in excess.” Y

6 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and Editor marilyn@MSChristianliving.com

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the way i see it by MARTIN E. WILLOUGHBY, JR.

The Difference Is Jesus In the midst of the routines in life, and even in the church, it is easy to lose sight of the center of our faith—Jesus. Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola in their book Jesus Manifesto describe this as a “Jesus Deficit Disorder.” Without Christ, all things lose their meaning. Christianity can quickly become just another religion among many. It can be a series of “do’s” and “don’ts.” We might follow the rules with our head, but without love in our hearts. Sweet and Viola encourage us to “Seek Christ, embrace Christ, know Christ.” They remind us that “Christianity is Christ. Nothing more. Nothing less. It is not an ideology or a philosophy. Neither is it a new type of morality, social ethic, or worldview. Christianity is the ‘Good News’ that beauty, truth, and goodness are found in a person.” When I see people who have that vital, connected, loving relationship with Christ, there is just something different about them. They are on a different agenda than the mainstream. They are not simply sprinkling in some “Christianity” into a busy life pursuing worldly goals. Christ is at the center of their lives. Not just as Lord, but also as the loving Father. They connect with Him in prayer not out of obligation but out of joy and love. My good friend Shawn Dean, who is a regular contributor to this magazine, is an encourager to me by his passion for Christ. Just like all of us, Shawn is imperfect and

experiences challenges in life, but he has a love of Jesus that is infectious. Several years ago, he felt a stirring in his heart that he was to help others experience the true vibrancy and love of Christ. He wanted to help others have a more intimate experience with Jesus to know and love Him

They are not simply sprinkling in some “Christianity” into a busy life pursuing worldly goals. Christ is at the center of their lives. more. Shawn had been leading a prayer group for years, but he felt like the men needed more time away from the hustle and bustle to be still and hear the voice of God. Using his own resources, Shawn organized the first Camp Jesus. He rented facilities at a retreat center for a weekend and invited any man who was hungry for Christ to show up. With a loose agenda, the men sang together, prayed together, and heard the Word of God shared by gifted speakers. Men were real

with each other, candidly shared about their challenges, and all were united in seeking more of Christ. Camp Jesus has turned into an annual event each fall, and last year he started a Camp Jesus for Women. It was a tremendous success and will be repeated again this year in April. I share this story because what is noteworthy to me is that Shawn is not a pastor, missionary, or in full-time ministry. Shawn works as a manufacturing representative and is a father to three young children. He has no more time than the rest of us in his day. However, he is motivated by his own love of Jesus and the desire for others to experience that love as well. February is certainly a time of the year when we are encouraged by the marketplace to do something special to demonstrate our love. While that is certainly a good thing to do any time of the year, perhaps this year we can also reflect on the true source and object of our love, Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. For those interested in learning more about Camp Jesus, you can contact Shawn Dean at shawn@airflosales.com. Y

Martin E. Willoughby Jr. is a Principal with Butler Snow Advisory and the author of Intentional Faith. He and his wife, Nicki, have two children, Ally and Trey, and live in Memphis, Tennessee.

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➺let’s talk it over by WILL MCNEESE, LPC, LMFTA

What Gets In the Way of Empathy? In my last article, I wrote about the importance of parents engaging in empathy in order to build a meaningful relationship with their teens based on intimacy, trust, and being known. Relational intimacy takes place when two people make themselves vulnerably known to each other and they each are received with love and grace. A deciding factor in how vulnerable we will be with someone is how safe that person is. Will the person judge me harshly or criticize me? Will they misunderstand me? Will they use what I say against me? Are they on my side?

Some facts about empathy:

■ Empathy is accurately understanding and

reflecting what a person expresses without adding to, changing, or communicating judgment about it. It is one of the first steps in building a trusting and intimate relationship. ■ To express empathy does not mean that

you are agreeing with or necessarily

approving of what the person says/thinks/or does. It simply shows that you understand what they said and find it relatable. ■ Empathy is a foundational point for

building intimate relationships because it communicates that one cares enough to withhold judgments in order to accurately listen to someone. It communicates at a basic level that one trusts that the person is an understandable and reasonable being, whom one can relate to. of First Baptist Church Jackson

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Empathy also plays a key role in the deescalation of conflict. Arguments between spouses or between parents and children often look like tennis matches—each party going back and forth trying to deliver the winning point or comeback. This results in gridlocked arguments that rarely resolve and leave both parties exasperated. I never cease to be amazed by the shift that can take place when one gridlocked player is able to “put down the tennis racket” and engage in empathic listening. One caveat is this—Empathy alone may not be enough to fix conflicts, and there are situations that call for being directive and executive in functioning. Examples of this would be crisis situations such as a person threatening suicide, or when those in conflict become out of control. Empathy, however, is a much needed—and often underutilized—tool in the tool belt. That being said, at times I find it incredibly difficult to engage in empathy with people whom I am close to. I cannot tell you how often

my wife and I have an argument and I am completely unable to listen to her side of things without being consumed with defensiveness and indignation. It can be even more difficult when I work with the teens in my life that, at times, are blatantly hostile towards me. In fact, the more I care about a person, the more vulnerable I become to being taken over by defensiveness or anger during a conflict with this person. So what gets in the way? I know I should maintain a stance of empathy, but this is much easier said than done. In the next few paragraphs I hope to facilitate you exploring what it is that bumps you off the empathy wagon and on to the defensive (or offensive). I also want to discuss a few common culprits and what can be done. The fear of not being heard or respected. This is the fear that if I respond to the person with empathy, I will give up the chance to tell my side of the story. If I don’t stand up for my rights, then the other person will continue to violate them and walk over me. In my life, this reaction can have a powerful effect in shifting me out of a state of listening into a state of standing up for myself. Though this fear is understandable, it adopts a relational strategy of pushing people away. To reconcile with your spouse or teen, you must turn towards them instead of push them away. Conflicts work best when you take turns listening. Let one person fully explain their experience and engage in active listening and empathy until that person feels fully heard, then swap roles and talk about your experience. Since this conversation format requires a

high amount of self-awareness and self-control, teens may not be great at demonstrating empathy. However, I think you will be surprised by how your modeling of empathy can catch on with your teens. The fear that by showing empathy or understanding towards what one is saying, they will think I am agreeing with them, or approving of what they have done. This comes up often when a spouse or teen has done something that, to you, is blatantly wrong or sinful. In these moments I hear myself questioning, “What if the person thinks I am agreeing with them or condoning their behavior?” This can also occur when the person’s feelings don’t seem warranted or are based on misperceptions. Here is how I think about this: If your style of empathy involves giving up your boundaries or condoning behavior you disagree with, you aren’t expressing empathy (we have another name for what you are doing called “codependence,” but that’s a separate topic). Empathy means to accurately understand what one is thinking and perceiving, even when what one thinks is inaccurate. Demonstrating that I accurately and fully understand what a person is saying and experiencing does not mean I agree with them. I have been surprised at how often I think that I understand someone, only to find

out that we were speaking past each other, hence the importance of asking nonjudgmental clarifying questions. Secondly, empathy means trying to find an understandable (relatable) part of their experience. Regardless of the outcome of a person’s actions, if I am honest with myself, I can usually find something relatable about what they were experiencing. For example, even though I can understand and relate to why my child decided to use illicit drugs, it does not mean that I am justifying his action. It does however help me engage in compassion towards him. The belief that empathy won’t solve the problems at hand and will not help deescalate the person. In my experience as a therapist, empathy is always a good first step, but more may need to happen. At times, showing empathy to someone has had the incredible effect of calming one down and they have arrived at a solution or answer without my input. At other times, simply showing empathy has not been enough to produce de-escalation and solve the problems at hand. It has, however, been the vehicle through which a person has become more open to receiving my feedback or input. So what do we do when these things get triggered?

Self-awareness is essential. If you notice yourself feeling defensive and unable to “put it aside,” then pause the conversation and engage in some internal reflection. Perhaps try journaling or writing out what triggered your defensiveness. You may find that what triggered your defensiveness is connected to experiences from the past. This is normal. Our brain uses our past experiences to form our expectations of future events. The problem is that these expectations, or reactive defenses, may get triggered very easily and may not take into account important differences about present situation. To engage in close, empathic relationships, we must explore the things that trigger our strong reactions and learn to distinguish past fears from present realities. At times, we need third-party arbitrators. I believe that we all have some relationships in which the volatility is too high and the selfawareness/control too low to make much progress. Inviting in a third party to “referee” can be beneficial, whether that is a trusted friend, pastor, counselor, or legal mediator. Y Will McNeese, LPC, LMFTA, is a counselor at Summit Counseling with experience working with families and individuals, including children and adolescents. He can be reached at wmcneese@fbcj.org.

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➺the doctor is in A Visit with Periodontist Dr. Reid Lester MCL: Tell us about your training and education. Reid Lester, DMD: After a brief teaching career at Jackson Academy and a short span in the financial planning world, I found my calling to go into health care. Dating back to high school, I had always been interested, but the timing was never right. In 2003, I decided to go back and get my requirements for dental school. I was accepted to dental school and began in 2005, and went onto specialize in the field of Periodontics. A periodontist is a dentist who has chosen to go three more years for specialty training. We are trained to treat patients with gum problems, whether it be receding gums or gum disease. Our specialty also trains us on the surgical placement of dental implants, and any type of rehabilitation (bone grafting) that may be needed to receive implants. My training consisted of a B.B.A degree from Mississippi State, my Dental Degree (DMD) in 2009 from the University of Mississippi Medical Center, and my Specialty Degree in 2012 from LSU School of Dentistry. After graduating from LSU, my family and I chose to return to Jackson to begin private practice. My practice, Mississippi Periodontic Specialists, consists of four periodontists: Dr. Charles Hamm, Dr. Bob Rives, Dr. Jamie Clay, and myself.

MCL: What were the factors that made you want to choose this specialty? RL: While in dental school, the surgical aspects of dentistry were what interested me the most. Periodontists are very skilled surgeons, who are known for paying very special attention to detail. We have the ability to take a patient with disease/infection in their mouth, treat them, and then follow them for life to make sure their disease does not come

14 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

diabetes, obesity, and osteoporosis. Gum disease normally doesn’t affect individuals until the fifth or sixth decade of life, but there are some aggressive forms that can begin affecting people in their teenage years. Typically, periodontal disease is noticed at the patient’s primary dentist office, and then based on the severity, the patient may be referred to the specialist for treatment. Receding gums can also be problematic and initiate a referral to our office. Receding gums can be caused by poor hygiene, but primarily occur with over brushing or brushing with too much force.

back. So the primary difference from my specialty and other dental specialties is that we get to develop long-lasting relationships with our patients. Periodontists also have the ability to have very flexible schedules; we have very few true emergencies, so I have the freedom to create a work schedule that allows me to stay invested in my children’s lives, stay involved in organized dentistry, be active in the community, and give back to our profession through teaching at UMMC and LSU. MCL: What were the factors that made you want to choose this specialty? RL: Periodontal disease is a bacterial infection that occurs in the gums. It primarily is caused by plaque that gets beneath the gum line, and causes gum and bone destruction. There are a number of factors that can increase a patient’s chance of getting gum disease, but the most common are poor oral hygiene, smoking, and diabetes. There is a large amount of research going in this country about the correlation with the oral cavity and the rest of the body, and there are findings that support gum disease is correlated with cardiovascular disease,

MCL: What are the Symptoms? RL: Symptoms of gum problems consist of redness, bleeding, swelling, or pain in the gums. Patients also may experience sensitivity of the teeth due to gum problems, or mobility of the teeth.

MCL: How is it treated? RL: Patients with more severe gum problems are treated with surgery. Recent advances in our field have been in the area of lasers. We now can use a laser to surgically correct the damage to the gums and bone from periodontal disease. A typical surgery consists of three steps. First, a laser is used to remove the infected tissue and any irritants that may be causing the problem. Second, localized debridement of the infected areas with some type of ultrasonic cleaning instrument is done, and third, a laser is used to help stimulate a seal (or clot) of the gum tissue back around the tooth. Other common surgeries in our field consists of gum grafts and/or bone grafts to help rebuild areas of the mouth that have been damaged due to gum disease or lost teeth.

MCL: Does dental insurance cover it? RL: Dental insurance does cover periodontal treatment, but usually only will cover at about fifty percent. MCL: What can someone do to lessen the chance of having gum disease? RL: There are 2 important things that patients can do to minimize the chance: 1. Have good oral hygiene habits—which consists of brushing at least twice a day, and flossing at least once a day. These proper techniques can be learned from your dental hygienist 2. See your family dentist at least twice a year, and they will check the health of your gums at your routine appointments. My opinion is that patients should see their dentists more frequent than every six months because cavities and gum problems can develop and progress in between those checkups.

encouraged me to go to dental school; Dr. David Duncan, who was Chairman of Admissions at UMMC and who helped open the door for me to become a dentist; Dr. Frank Serio, who was chairman of Periodontics at UMMC and who served as my mentor and encouraged me to go into the field of Periodontics; Dr. Toula Palaiologou, who served as my program chairman at LSU and taught me a great deal of clinical periodontics; Dr. Charles Hamm and Dr. Bob Rives, who have been great business partners in private practice; Dr. Jamie Clay, who joined

MCL: How has your Christian faith impacted your practice and the way you see patients? RL: I have been extremely blessed in my lifetime, both personally and professionally. I have been blessed with great parents who have gone above and beyond to provide for Reid, Lauren, Drake, Landry, and Carson Lester. me and my sister, an amazing wife who has our practice a year ago; and lastly, my dad, supported me along the journey of dental Dr. Tom Lester, who has been my biggest school and residency and who has basically cheerleader along the journey through dental raised 3 children by herself while I was in school and residency. My dad, who passed school, three healthy children (ages 10, 8, away this past June, taught me to work hard and 4), and great friends and family. and treat people right, and that everything I also feel that God has placed people in else will fall into place. my life who have helped open doors for me I say all this, because it is these people professionally. Some of the people who have who make me appreciate the verse Luke made major contributions to my dental 12:48, “For whomsoever much is given, of career include: Dr. David Mosal, who was my him shall be much required.” I feel that this dad’s best friend growing up and who

verse is very applicable to my life. I enjoy and take pride in the ability to help and heal people every day, and I have the opportunity to make a great living doing that. I don’t take this for granted, and through this opportunity, I feel that it is my responsibility to give back, whether in dentistry, the community, teaching in dental schools, or simply in my children’s lives. A great deal of my time is spent in clinical practice each week. As I get to know patients, and discuss their dental conditions and treatment alternatives, I feel invested in their lives and personally responsible for their treatment and success. As patients decide on a method of treatment for themselves, they routinely ask the question, “What would you do if you were me?” As elementary as it may sound, I base my clinical practices off of the Golden Rule. Matthew 7:12 states, “Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them.” If I can treat patients in my practice the way that I would want to be treated, then everything else will take care of itself. The next phase of life for me is the addition to my family that we are praying for. My wife and I have begun the process of adopting a child. My wife, Lauren, who many call Supermom, has wanted to adopt a baby as long as I have known her. But I have always made it very clear that I would not. I remember several times where she would tell me that she was praying for me to have a change of heart, and I would tell her to “Go for it!” Well, over the past 6 months, God has changed my heart, and shown me that Lauren and I should make this leap of faith. We feel that we are in the right season of life to begin this journey, and what better way to reciprocate God’s love than to provide a home for that new child. We are excited about what God will bring our way. Y

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THE

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The highest rank attainable in Scouting. It’s not easy to become an Eagle Scout, but they did it anyway. The award is more than a badge. It’s a state of being. You ARE an Eagle Scout.

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Congratulations to these young men and the rest of our area Eagles on this great achievement. Wimberly & Associates Executive Coaches and Financial Advisors that use The Discovery Process™ to help individuals and businesses accomplish their agenda. beth@thediscoveryprocess.com

Jackson Preparatory

® BOY SCOUTS OF AMERICA “Preparing Young People For Life” For more information on the Andrew Jackson Council visit our website www.bsa-jackson.org or find us on one of our Facebook pages, Andrew Jackson Council, BSA or Hood Scout Reservation, BSA. Scout Office (601) 948-6111 16 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Eugene C. Brown, Jr. D.D.S., M.S.

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➺let’s get real

by REV. BILL RAP, MRE, PSAT and CAROLINE SMITH, MS, LPC

Restoring the Heart of Love in Marriage od's Word calls us all to experience the most beautiful thing in the world; it simply calls us to, "...love one another deeply, from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22 NIV, emphasis added). That word “deeply” is rich with meaning. Deep love is always from the heart, deep love is always passionate, deep love never gives up! Is that not what every one of us longs for—to be deeply loved by someone and to share that love in return? As humans, all of us can struggle with serious “heart conditions” at times. And because our physical health is dependent to a large part on our emotional health, routine “heart health” assessments are imperative. Clients often use the following words to describe their symptoms—a shattered heart, cold heart, black heart, bleeding heart, or bitter heart. When emotional heart health goes unattended, bad things happen. An amazing example of this is a story involving a couple from Texas. All was well until one day the husband got upset with his

18 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

wife for supposedly spending too much on sugar at the grocery store. So, he proceeded to take a saw, cut the house in half, and nail some boards on to cover the exposed part of each half. He then moved his half of the house behind some trees on the back section of their lot. And for the next forty years, this man lived by himself in his half house refusing to speak to his wife. At first reading, this story sounds unbelievable or even humorous, but it is only one example of how couples emotionally divorce. Without compassionate understanding and effective relationship support, the loss of a loving heart is progressive and painful. For many, Valentine’s Day is a reminder of what once was or what is currently longed for. The upside to any holiday is that we get to spend time with people we care about in a wonderful exchange of heartfelt love. The downside to any holiday is when relationships have grown cold, distant, quiet or bitter, unpredictable, and explosive. Spending time with people we care about can be a painful

reminder of what’s missing in our relationships—a heart of love. If you identify with this downside, please be encouraged. There is tremendous hope for you and your marriage because of our loving God and Savior, the ultimate marriage counselor, Jesus Christ!

In fact, at the very heart of our ability to love and receive love is our loving God. According to God’s Word, His love is: 1) Everlasting. “I have loved you with an everlasting love...” (Jeremiah 31:3). 2) Permanent. Nothing “...will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39). 3) Perfect: God’s kind of love “...never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:8). 4) Available to us all. "...Let us love one another, for love is from God” (1 John 4:7).

God is the Author and Giver of His extravagant, permanent, perfect love. And the amazing thing is, God's passion is to see His love flowing in all of our hearts and in all of our homes. Think that’s impossible in your situation? Your thoughts have a direct impact on your feelings and your feelings influence your behaviors. Binging on a diet of critical thoughts toward your spouse is guaranteed to produce emotional distance, an unloving heart, and an increased risk for engaging in love-defeating behaviors. If negative thoughts become chronic, the result will be a slim chance for God’s kind of love to flow. What wounded relationships need most is a renewal of the mind. So it is in relationships—what a couple thinks about while they are apart impacts them the most when they are together. Thus, if the little irritations and big hurts inevitable in any relationship are not bravely and truthfully discussed, distance and disconnection result. A heart of love can only flourish when two people commit to living a lifestyle of sincere confession, compassionate forgiveness, and reconciliatory resolution. Philippians 4:8 provides instruction in this

matter; “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” For deep love to flourish in your heart and home, first turn to the ultimate marriage counselor, our Lord Jesus Christ and ask for His help to be more loving, regardless of what your partner does. Remember, God is love and all love comes from Him. He is the One who has called us to love one another, and He is the One who can help us do it. Then, “tend your garden.” As a wise person once said, "The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence, the grass is greener where they water it." The fact is beautiful gardens take a lot of work, so it shouldn’t surprise us that beautiful marriages do too!

Your marriage garden needs two things from you every day: 1) Weeding—Pulling things out of your life that harm your relationship. Things like selfishness, busyness, inattention, self-

righteousness, blame, and unforgiveness. 2) Seeding—Cultivating things in your heart like humility, honesty, confession, repentance, forgiveness, understanding, and tenderness. Actively notice the good things about your spouse and verbally express your appreciation. Research on marriage satisfaction suggests five positive partner statements per day. If we see marriage as an opportunity to excel in love, it won't matter how difficult the situation is. It will be our chance to learn to love like Christ. Whether you are expecting the upside or the downside this Valentine's Day, if you find yourself longing for more, be encouraged. You and your loved one can learn to love deeply from the heart. You have God's Word on it! Y Caroline Smith is the Director of Pine Grove’s Intensive Workshops and her brother, Bill Rap, is a co-facilitator of Pine Grove’s Christian Intensive Workshops.

mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 19

➺this is my story by CINDY M. TOWNSEND

A Cinderella Proposal A Story for God’s Glory! From a mother’s heart…

keep her away from the grimy guys. Verse 2: God, make Taylor wise and give her little thighs (very superficial prayer I know, but moms pray about everything, especially things they never had). My mother burned the midnight oil in prayer for me during my teenage years and her prayers sustain me through life even today. I vowed to pray for God to make Taylor wise.

While serving as Student/College Minister and loving students of all ages, my husband, Bill, and I desired to have a child of our own. We began a heart-wrenching journey that lasted several years. One miscarriage after another left us desperate for what only God could do. Only He could prepare us to never have a child of our own and only He could give us a miracle baby. We knew God was faithful, but that knowledge alone Pledge did not diminish our pain. We leaned We encouraged Taylor to honor on the Lord and desired more than her future life mate with a pledge ever to live a life to honor Him, no to purity. We all know remaining matter the circumstances. sexually pure in a "shades of Confidentially, we asked many of grey" world requires a greater our friends to pray for us to accept love for God than self and an our situation and heal. As we unyielding discipline focused far began to grow in acceptance, we beyond the present. As Taylor heard the news we were expecting entered her teen years, I again. Concerns and prayers reminded her “beyond physical increased along with God’s grace beauty is a beauty from within that toward us. Nine months later, I gave embraces purity as most birth to a baby girl we named beautiful.” Ironically, the movie Fifty Taylor because she was Taylor-made Shades of Grey is set to premier on by God! Valentine's Day, the day Taylor and As I reflect today on God’s Seth celebrate their marriage vows goodness, we are less than a month and their mutual commitment to purity. away from Taylor’s wedding day. She will Choosing purity demands commitment, marry Seth Conerly on Valentine’s Day at conviction, and wisdom. First Baptist Church in Jackson-- the same church where she was dedicated to the Lord 22 years ago. We are thankful for God’s Seth Conerly went to incredible lengths to propose to Purpose faithfulness through these years. As her Taylor Townsend in front of an audience of friends and Her dad and I have also mother, I am also reminded of the family who had loved and prayed for them for years. challenged Taylor to live what Pastor incredible task we have as mothers “to Watch the proposal on You Tube. Search Princess Rick Warren calls a " purpose-driven train up a child in the way he or she Proposal - Taylor and Seth. You won’t be disappointed! life". I love to hear Taylor say, “Mom, should go.” only God completes me. No job, As moms, we want our children to be degree, position, title, or person completes me, only Jesus!” Knowing equipped for life. Honestly, I have days when I royally mess up in my all of this life is by God’s grace, for His glory and ultimately for His motherly role, but like most moms, that is never my desire. I want to purpose gives life meaning! Both Taylor and Seth have purposed to teach Taylor and our son, William (who, by the way, just happened follow wherever the Lord may lead. An adventure enveloped in without a dramatic birth story) the importance of intentional living. God’s grace awaits all who purpose to do the same. Three words come to mind as I reflect on the ways Bill and I sought to prepare Taylor’s heart for marriage: Prayer, Pledge, A Mother’s heart-felt prayer: and Purpose. Lord Jesus, May our children live with a clear understanding of the power of prayer, the value of a pledge, and the importance of living life with purpose. Let it be… for all of our children! Amen. Y Prayer Our prayer for Taylor the day she was born and until this day is for Dr. Cindy Townsend is Director of The Global Leadership God to make her like the biblical character, Deborah. Deborah was Institute at Jackson Preparatory School. She enjoys speaking for strong and courageous in a "crooked and perverse world". The first student and women events and freelance writing. prayer lullaby I sang over Taylor’s cradle was both serious and silly and went something like this: Verse 1- God, make Taylor wise and 20 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

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➺living my call by MARILYN H. TINNIN

As for Me and My House Clifton and Delores Goodloe of Canton celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary this past December. The pastor of the Greater Damascus Church of Christ Holiness in Hazlehurst, Reverend Goodloe was a preacher’s kid himself. A minister was one thing he was sure he was not going to be. Delores had decided a long time before marrying Clifton that she would not marry a preacher or a farmer. In time, she got both. But you will never meet a couple that has achieved a happier, more stable marriage or raised any finer children. They can tell you how it’s done. Their blueprint comes straight out of Scripture, and Reverend Goodloe can quote a whole lot of it. Clifton grew up in Canton and left home after high school graduation in 1959, headed to Los Angeles for higher paying jobs than those available in Mississippi. He says he drifted away from the spiritual values his parents had instilled in him as a child. When his father became ill and he came home to visit him for a few weeks in early 1964, he spent some time rekindling a friendship with Delores. By the time he returned to California a few weeks later, they were engaged.

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Shortly before their wedding a few months later, Delores asked Clifton if he would consider coming back to Mississippi to live. She had some doubts about living so far from home and family. Clifton relented although he thought he would probably be able to change her mind later. After their wedding they moved in with his parents in Canton while Clifton looked for a job. His father’s only stipulation in allowing the newlyweds to share their home was that they attend church every Sunday. The Lord began to work on Clifton. All the Scriptures, the songs, the teachings from his childhood came back to him as he was again hearing Bible teaching and was being nurtured again in the faith. Soon after the birth of their first daughter, the Scripture reading one Sunday morning was Joshua 24:15, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Clifton says, “God really spoke to me that morning, and I knew that unless I let Him lead me, I would never be able to lead my family.” Despite all the years he had spent in church before that day, he considers that Sunday morning in 1966 the day he truly received salvation. Delores says she saw a marked change in her husband from that day on. His priority

Clifton and Delores (front and center) are the parents of (back row) Marcus and Bertram, (front row) Clifton, Melba, Lori, and Earl.

was to lead his family to know Christ and to love them the way Christ loved his church. As more children arrived, Clifton continued to be the same steady devoted and doting husband and father. Clifton says he and Delores had a “balanced” approach to the things they emphasized with their children.

Getting a good education was important, but knowing Christ trumped everything. The relationship with Christ was to be the foundation of their lives because it would impact the way they approached everything else. Surrendering his soul was one thing. Surrendering to the call to preach was something else. He continued to fight that for several more years. He was one of the first African Americans to be hired as a USDA field reporter and surveyor in 1966. Each day, from daylight until mid-afternoon, he traveled Madison County surveying crops and measuring acreage. From mid-afternoon until after midnight at times, he was on a tractor working his farmland. With six children, he laughs, “I didn’t have a choice!”

God continued to tug at Clifton’s heart about the ministry. He finally surrendered and spent 18 years serving churches in Lexington, Jackson, Canton, and Hazlehurst. Wherever he went, the church grew. He explains that he was never able to go to seminary because he had a family to support. He was a voracious reader and took advantage of workshops as often as possible. Despite being “self-taught” to a large extent, he has been a great student of Scripture with an amazing ability to memorize and an equal ability to apply it. In 1994, just a few months after he had “retired,” the Bishop of the Church of Christ Holiness, called Reverend Goodloe and asked him to accept a temporary call to Greater Damascus in Hazlehurst. The church had been splintered by divisiveness. Clifton and Delores accepted the call and began driving 100 miles round trip every week to help that church get back on its feet. This January marked their twenty-first year there! Five of their six children, along with their spouses and children, also drive to Hazlehurst every week to be involved at Greater Damascus. And the splintered church that had only 35 members back in 1994 boasts 3–400 today. At 76 years and going strong—still farming his land, as well as pastoring the church—Reverend Goodloe did not hesitate to quote his favorite Scripture to me, but he qualified that by saying, “It’s my favorite at this stage of life.” “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace” (Acts 20:24). Y mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 23

Beth O’Reilly A New Heart

Heart Disease is the number one killer of women in America. It affects women of all ages, even those who are physically fit. And 64% of women who have had no previous symptoms die of heart-related illness. Learn about your risk for heart disease and what makes it more likely.

24 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

On the day that her life turned upside down, Beth Weilenman O’Reilly was in the prime of life. The year was 2004, and she was just 48 years old. Married for 29 years to her college sweetheart who was and is still very much the love of her life, she was blessed with a career she adored, two grown sons who made a mama proud, and a daily range of activities that included, but were not limited to, church choir,Walk to Emmaus, bridge games, a tennis team, and frequent travel all over the globe. You would be hard pressed to find anyone who had more energy or more friends than Beth. She is a people magnet. As the second of five children born to the late Bill and Bettyann Weilenman of Stoneville, her priorities have pretty much always been God and other people. But after she and her husband Guy attended an Emmaus weekend in 1989, she became more a God and other people person than ever before. Her daily prayer for herself is, “God, write your story in my life. Be seen and heard in me!” That is certainly one prayer that God answered for Beth in spades. On Friday, March 5, 2004, Beth headed to her classroom at Leland High School where she had taught special education Life Skills English for 23 years. That whole week, she had felt like she was getting sick, but surely she could make it one more day and have the

entire next week of spring break to get well. On that fateful day, she made it to her classroom and realized there was something seriously wrong. She was having difficulty breathing at all. She found herself in the ICU at Delta Regional Medical Center where Dr. Michael Mansour ran a myriad of tests and delivered the rather grim news that she had cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure, that he was hopeful medication would remedy a great deal of the discomfort, but that ultimately she might be looking at a heart transplant. A virus had evidently attacked her heart, and it was beating at 20% capacity. The lifestyle changes that were imperative and immediate included giving up tennis, giving up her career, adhering to a strict diet, and total bed rest for a while. Gradually she was able to increase her activities, but tennis

Beth and her transplant team are friends forever. (L to R) Brennett Brown, Nicole Whatley, Beth, Jenny Humphries, and Tammy Boles. mschristianliving.com â?&#x2DC; FEBRUARY 2015 25

and her classroom job were forever out of the question. Life, as she had lived it prior to this disruptive event, was over. There were tears, but there was a resilient faith, too, as Beth chose to view the glass as half full rather than half empty. One of her heart’s greatest desires was to have grandchildren to love, and if altering her life made that dream a little bit more likely, she would do whatever it took. She realized she was blessed to be alive at all, and she embraced every day with a new sense of gratitude. The changes she made seemed like a small price to pay to savor the joys that lay ahead—more years with her soulmate, her sons, and, hopefully daughters-in-law and grandchildren!

The New Normal

Despite the tubes and the weakness, the smile on Beth’s face never left. Her optimism did not fade, and she had a peace that impacted everyone who came into contact with her every day. It wasn’t about getting well as much as it was about her faith in the God who was holding time in His hands. Beth was never one to say, “Poor me.”

The next seven years were good ones— great ones actually. Beth accepted that some days were going to be easier than others, but she learned to say “no” for the first time in her life. When she ran out of steam, she stopped. When she felt well, she did almost anything she wanted. Her medications were working, and other than missing tennis and her students, the new normal was okay. She grew stronger and stronger, and even assumed the responsibility for homeschooling a severely dyslexic teenager whose educational background was riddled with defeat and sad stories of failure. On the day this young lady received her graduation certificate, Beth was the proudest “significant other” in attendance.

The weekly Leland Progress followed Beth’s journey. Beth’s close friend Amy Taylor compiled the Caring Bridge journal in Heartstrings, available in bookstores and Amazon. 26 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

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after lunch that Beth began to feel weak. The afternoon began with a headache, a cough, and a flu-like aching. As the hours passed, Beth continued to feel worse and worse. By late afternoon there was no denying the fact that this was something serious. She told Guy she needed to go to the emergency room. The initial tests and enzyme results indicated she’d had a heart attack, and she was immediately put in the Delta Regional Cardiac ICU. Word spread quickly through Beth’s tiny cardiac intensive care room became a virtual Leland, the Delta, and beyond. This studio of fan mail and well wishes over the 100 days was déjà vu panic all over again she was a patient at UMMC. for everyone who loved Beth. Three days of tests. Three days And as far as Beth’s health, it continued to of doing everything within the realm of improve. She refused to be an invalid. Beth and possibility at Delta Regional Medical. Beth had Guy took some interesting trips from their home in Leland via motorcycle to Martha’s Vineyard and to Niagara Falls. They also traveled to Israel, Egypt, Hawaii, Prague, and Vienna. And the greatest “normal” and wonderful events during those seven years were the births of two grandsons, Max and Parker. Beth thought she was truly home free. She had adapted well to her curtailed lifestyle. She worked on numerous Emmaus Walks, participated in many Bible studies and attended many women’s events. Her spiritual life, which had always been notable, deepened. She did not take a single day for granted as she lived with a sense of purpose and gratitude that inspired all who knew her. On Sunday, January 30, 2011, Guy and Beth Beth had to get her “sea legs” back after months of being totally bedridden. did their usual Sunday routine which was Walking again was a significant challenge Sunday school and the morning worship to confront. service at the Leland Methodist Church. It was

28 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

excellent care, but on Thursday, February 3, in the middle of frigid temperatures, sleet and freezing rain, she was taken by ambulance to University of Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson for more tests and, hopefully, a miracle.

Hope Deferred It was at University Hospital that Beth heard the diagnosis—myocarditis, a rare condition resulting in inflammation of the heart muscle itself. This, in addition to the cardiomyopathy, added a new set of problems to her weak heart. Her heart was not able pump well enough to transport blood to all of Beth’s organs. The prognosis for recovery was poor but not impossible. The possibility of a heart transplant was now very real. As Beth’s brother Mark says, “At first, that was not an encouraging thought to any of us. We saw a heart transplant as the last resort.” Guy, while trying to be the strong and steady encourager for his wife, was under enormous pressure in those first days at UMMC. He had a business to run back in Leland, and he quickly turned that over to their son, Rob. But his telephone rang non-stop at all hours of the day and night as friends from all over called for news of Beth’s condition and to offer prayers for both of them. Trying to answer the phone calls, give correct information—information that seemed to change with every passing hour—was taking its toll. Beth’s brother, Mark, who happened to live in Jackson and worked a block or two from the hospital, offered to start a Caring Bridge site. With a background in journalism, he was a communicator, and he could handle the updates with succinct accuracy and grace. “I was as panicked as anyone, and it would give

me something to do,” he says. Because Beth’s condition was so fluid, Guy was concerned that whatever was posted be correct but fairly general in detail. The future was so uncertain that they were hesitant to broadcast too much about her condition. Guy welcomed Mark’s help. As Mark explains, “You could say I was the writer, but Guy was the editor!” Mark and Guy agreed that they wanted to approach the blog as Beth would if she had been strong enough to write it. Everyone knew of Beth’s faith, and so the spiritual dimension was front and center. Little did either know that Beth’s journey as chronicled in the Caring Bridge website would become the book Heartstrings a few years later. Beth was in her third week at University Hospital when everything began to fail. Her kidneys, lungs and heart were growing weaker and weaker. Her heart muscle was not recovering, and her ejection fraction was extremely low. The ejection fraction measures the percentage of blood that leaves the left ventricle with each contraction. A normal ejection fraction is between 55 and 75 percent. Beth’s was five percent. She was dying. When Mark visited his sister on that

Just a few of Beth’s family cheering section. (Front row, from left) Dick Hanna, Jane Weilenman Hanna, sister; Ellen Walker, sister; Anne Stevens, niece; (Back row) Jane Warren, niece, Bill and Bettyann Weilenman, parents.

mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 29

work Beth’s heart could no longer do. Guy to her right and see the CentriMag pumping February 23, 2011, he thought he was saying loves to compare the centrimag to a working at three thousand revolutions per minute. goodbye. The doctors explained to the family battery for a car. Replace a dead battery with Despite the side effect of unrelenting nausea that everything that could be done had a new battery, and every gadget in the car will and a fever, Beth knew this amazing machine been done. work—from the windshield wipers to the radio was keeping her alive, and she was grateful. However, Guy was not ready to give up. As Mark and Guy continued to he pushed Beth’s doctors for more post entries on the Caring Bridge answers, he was told that there was site, and occasionally Beth was one last ditch effort they might able to tap out something. The possibly try. There was a machine tone of the epistle was definitely called a CentriMag, a relatively new Beth, and the guestbook bulged and slightly experimental external every new day with prayers and heart-pumping machine that might encouraging messages from give Beth a temporary reprieve, but friends. Her room had been no one had ever used it at UMMC. It covered in a virtual wallpaper of might not work at all, and because cards, posters, and get Beth was in such critical condition, well wishes. such a surgery was very dangerous. Occasionally, she Skyped with But was there any other option? No. her grandsons Max and Parker. Guy was ready to take a chance as Just seeing those two precious he told the doctors, “Let’s do it.” boys gave her an extra boost and Ultimately, he understood a heart Ta-Dah became a mantra as Beth’s young grandson Parker reminded her of the blessings transplant was the only thing that was adopted the phrase to demonstrate every new thing he learned. she had already received. Guy going to give Beth her life back, but It was a family joke, but so apropos in a situation where humor came at 5 a.m. every morning, they could not just wait around until a relieved a lot of anxiety. again at noon and 5 p.m. and matching heart became available. This strange machine was a lifeline at that to the engine. With the CentriMag, her kidneys back to say “goodnight” at 9 p.m. Before Guy left at night they would share a daily devotional critical moment. began to function and her lungs improved. and prayer time thanking God for all He had And to everyone’s utter delight, the She was placed number one on the transplant done and asking Him for continued healing. CentriMag did what it was supposed to do. list at UMC. And the waiting began. Often the staff nurses joined them. Beth had For the next 46 days, that machine did the It seemed an odd prayer in many ways to become a precious family member to pray for a new heart. For Beth to receive a heart and the chance at life, someone else was everyone on the unit. But the days dragged on as they waited expectantly to hear the news of going to have to lose their life. Beth, Guy, their a new heart that did not come quickly. sons Rob and Will, and the rest of their Along with prayers for the new heart, they extended family took that thought very were praying for patience. Their ordeal gave seriously. Knowing how much they loved their fresh meaning to 2 Peter 3:8, “But do not Beth, they were not oblivious to the fact that overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the should that matching heart become available; Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a another family was going to face a devastating thousand years as one day.” loss of someone who was likely as important March came and went. Beth could not stay to them as Beth was to her family. on the CentriMag much longer because there How do you pray in that situation? With were significant risks involved. If a new heart incredible humility and supernatural did not appear soon, the next step was surrender to God’s sovereign will. “And the another temporary device, an LVAD which peace of God, which passeth all was a little more portable. It is frequently used understanding, shall keep your hearts and by transplant patients as they wait a more minds through Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 4: 7). permanent solution. The downside to replacing the CentriMag with the LVAD was that Beth would automatically be removed The Waiting Game COLLECTION from the top of the transplant list because she It is a fact that approximately twenty-one of CONSIGNMENT BOUTIQUE would no longer be considered in the 120,000 people awaiting an organ immediate peril. transplant die each day because a matching donor is not found in time. One organ donor STORE HOURS: Monday through Friday 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. can save seven lives by donating their organs, Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and the number increases significantly if you Ta-dah!!! add eyes and tissue. As Mississippi Organ It was Saturday morning, April 10, when 101B Village Blvd. Recovery Association’s theme states, “We may Beth struck up a conversation with the lady Madison, Mississippi 39110 be one person to the world, but to one person who was cleaning her room. There was an (601) 607-6004 we may be the world.” immediate connection between the two as PRIVATE COLLECTION CONSIGNMENT Beth continued to reside in the ICU, totally they began to talk about God’s blessings. Just bedridden as the days passed. She could look as the lady turned to leave she said to Beth, 30 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Beth was taken to surgery for prep about patients around the country who were waiting “God just told me you will get a new heart 4:30 p.m. that afternoon. When her gurney in circumstances as dire as Beth’s who were this weekend.” headed for the elevator, it seemed that half of preparing to receive kidneys, lungs, a liver, Beth was touched as she answered, “Well, Leland, Mississippi was waiting—and they and who knows what else from this generous that would be great,” but as long as this sent her off with a standing ovation process had plodded along, she was and tears of joy. not holding her breath! God’s timing At 1:46 a.m. on Monday morning, was God’s timing. Beth was rolled back into her ICU The very next morning—well room and the doctor came in to before the sun came up—Beth was speak to the family. Although Beth awakened by a “committee” of would still have some rough days doctors and nurses who gave her the ahead and a grueling rehabilitation long-awaited news. “Beth, you have a process, things had gone even better heart!” The joy on that floor was like than anyone could have hoped. “Christmas on steroids” as brother Never had her surgeon had a Mark, the Caring Bridge wordsmith, transplant patient whose ejection rate put it. was as low as Beth’s who had Beth called her husband who was come through surgery with such immediately alert when his wife flying colors. exclaimed, “Guy, I got a heart! I got a A new banner that covered an heart!” The news spread quickly Husband Guy impressed the UMC staff as much as Beth did. entire wall of her ICU room shouted through the Weilenman family, the He was the epitome of the perfect husband and cheerleader. “TA-DAH!!!” Grandson Max, just two church friends, the network of prayer years old, had recently taken up that warriors, and fans that had followed phrase and he shouted it as often as possible. family who were surely grieving the sudden Beth’s journey. It had become Beth’s special mantra that death of someone very precious to them. How fitting that this gift was delivered on captured her indomitable spirit and Each transport team had to get to the the Sabbath Day! A crowd gathered in the confidence in God’s complete command of hospital in that city and recover the organ they waiting room outside the ICU. And the day the situation throughout the lengthy ordeal. needed before the heart team could receive dragged on. Beth later learned that when their precious cargo and fly back to Jackson organs are donated, the last organ to be with it. harvested is the heart. There were other

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gracerehabteam@yahoo.com www.gracepainsolutions.com mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 31

Life Goes On

Community Open House February 19th 5:30-7:00 pm for prospective families

Lamar School Meridian, Mississippi Lamar Schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mission is to educate each individual by providing a challenging and purposeful college preparatory curriculum in a safe, respectful, Christian environment.

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The next four weeks were a constant push toward health and restoration. There were still a million things that could go wrong, and a delicate balance to strike in the midst of retraining her long-bedridden body to do the routine everyday things that an independent healthy person takes for granted. There were constant tests, exercises, therapies, procedures to boost the immune system, to prevent rejection, to regulate the new heart, to overcome the effects of 76 days in bed. The home stretch was in view, but it was as difficult and demanding as any leg of this journey had been. But there was not a millisecond of challenge that dampened Bethâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s total euphoria and enthusiasm over the future that had been given to her. As she wrote in a Caring Bridge post, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been given this blessing and I want to make sure I honor God as I look for ways to serve, as I continue to recover.â&#x20AC;? Four weeks after the miraculous surgery that had given Beth a new heart, she and Guy drove down the familiar street to their home in Leland. Friends lined the avenue, and welcome home posters and balloons were staked across her yard like a political campaign in full bloom. It was a homecoming worthy of a hero, and Beth was definitely that to so many. People often ask Beth if there are any predictors on how long she could expect to live with her new heart. As one who is playing tennis with vigor again and whose check-ups continue to get A+ results from her doctors, such a question is almost insulting. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Why, I plan to live until at least 82,â&#x20AC;? she says. Ninety-five is probably more like it. Her doctors do say that the fact that Beth took such great care of herself in those seven years between her first heart event and the critical illness of 2011 gave her an advantage over some transplant patients. The impact of her faith on her physical wellbeing would also be hard to dispute. As her brother Mark reminded her friends on Caring Bridge, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Beth has been making investments into her spiritual bank during the many, many years sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been an active Christian. When she needed to dip into that reservoir of faith, there was more than enough there to get her through this, with plenty left over still earning interest.â&#x20AC;?

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Call Today!

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$ GLYLVLRQ RI (QHUJ\ ,QVXODWLRQ ,QF Â&#x2021; 5L[RQ 6LPPRQV 2ZQHU 32 FEBRUARY 2015 â?&#x2DC; Mississippi Christian Living

The Legacy of Giving As you can imagine, Beth Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Reilly has become a cheerleader for the Mississippi Organ Recovery Association. She has been

The grandchildren who were a large part of Bethâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prayer and determination to beat this challenge. (Back L to R) Max, Hall, Parker, (Front) Baby girl Ella Rives.

called on often to share her story, a request that she considers to be a high privilege. She hopes to one day meet the family of the woman whose heart gave her a second chance. It was truly a gift of love on the part of that family, and as Beth says beautifully, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Love is the only thing it is okay to do in excess.â&#x20AC;? Months after the surgery, Beth had the chance to write to her donorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s family. MORA delivered the letter to the anonymous family. So far, Beth has not gotten to meet them, but she hopes as time passes they will want to meet the lady who carries their precious loved oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heart. Her words to them say it all: Life is truly a mystery. We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t understand why things happen the way they do. I have prayed for you and your family and the grief you are bearing. As I tell people about my experience, I honor you and your gift of life each timeâ&#x20AC;Śknow that I remember you in my prayers daily. I thank you for my heartâ&#x20AC;Ś.Beth. And as Beth continues to speak, she reminds everyone who hears her words, â&#x20AC;&#x153;â&#x20AC;Śif Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s aim is to expand the boundaries of His kingdom, then He has succeeded. For every time He heals, a thousand sermons are preached.â&#x20AC;? And all Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s people say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Amen!â&#x20AC;? Y

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mschristianliving.com â?&#x2DC; FEBRUARY 2015 33

➺food for thought

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of Him that sent me, and to finish His work.”

by LYDIA BOLEN

– John 4:34

All Things Red and Yummy T

he month of February is such a festive month with all the Super Bowl gatherings and Valentine’s Day celebrations.

The color red is everywhere to brighten your winter humdrums. Different hues of red and pink alert us all month as a reminder that a special day is near. On February 14, we typically send cards, sweets, balloons, and gifts to those we love. I love all things red as a sweet. My favorite red dessert is Red Velvet Cupcakes. These are fun and easy to make, and I love the vibrant color! Raspberry Dessert can be served as a special ending to a festive Valentine meal. The raspberries on top add that special touch of color and flavor. One of my favorite cookies is the Thumbprint Cookie. They can be made with many different jams, but the raspberry seedless jam is pretty for a special occasion. Y

RED VELVET CUPCAKES 2 1/2 1/2 1 1/2 1 2 4 1 1/2 1 2

RASPBERRY DESSERT Crust 11/3 cups graham crackers, crushed 3 tablespoons confectioners sugar 5 to 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

Mix together and press into a 9-inch pie plate

Cheesecake 1 2 1 1/2

package (8 oz.) cream cheese eggs teaspoon vanilla extract cup sugar

Raspberry Topping 1 package frozen raspberries Beat pie mixture together until smooth. Put in crust and bake at 350 degrees for 18-20 minutes. Drain 1 package frozen raspberries. (Do not need to save the juice) Heat berries and add 3 tablespoons sugar and thicken with 2 teaspoons cornstarch. Cool pie mixture and cool the berry mixture. Place cooled berry mixture on top of cream cheese pie. Cool pie in refrigerator. Serve cold with a dollop of whipped cream on top of each piece.

RASPBERRY ALMOND THUMBPRINTS 1 2/3 1/2 2 1/2

cup unsalted butter, softened cup sugar teaspoon almond flavoring cups all-purpose flour cup raspberry seedless jam

Combine butter, sugar, and almond flavoring. Beat at medium speed until creamy. Add flour. Beat at low speed until well mixed. Cover; refrigerate until set. (It is very important to leave dough in the refrigerator an hour!) Shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Make indentation in center of each cookie with thumb. Fill each indentation with 1/4 teaspoon of raspberry jam. Bake 14-18 minutes until edges are lightly browned. Let stand 1 minute on cookie sheet. Remove to cooling racks. Cool completely.

Glaze 1 cup powdered sugar 2 to 3 teaspoons water 1 1/2 teaspoons almond flavoring

Combine all glaze ingredients in bowl with whisk until smooth. Drizzle over cookies. Yields 42 cookies.

cups flour cup unsweetened cocoa powder teaspoon baking soda teaspoon salt cup unsalted butter (2 sticks) cups granulated sugar eggs cup sour cream cup milk bottle (1 oz.) red food coloring teaspoons vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt in medium bowl. Set aside. Beat butter and sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Mix in sour cream, milk, food coloring, and vanilla. Beat in flour mixture gradually on low speed. Do not overbeat. Spoon batter into 30 paper-lined muffin cups. Fill each cup about 2/3 full. Bake 20 minutes or until inserted toothpick comes out clean. Cool in pans on wire rack for 5 minutes. Remove from pans and cool completely.

Cream Cheese Frosting 1 1/4 2 2 1

package (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened cup unsalted butter, softened tablespoons sour cream teaspoons vanilla extract box (16 oz.) confectioners sugar

Beat cream cheese, butter, sour cream, and vanilla in electric mixer until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in confectioners sugar until smooth. Frost each cupcake. (For a festive look, use Valentine themed paper liners. Sprinkle top with pink and red sprinkles. Yields 30 cupcakes.

Remember to make memories through the kitchen—”the heartbeat of the home.” E-mail me at lbbolen@gmail.com for any questions. 34 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

EVERYONE

NEEDS A HELPING HAND SOMETIMES

Caregivers for Home & Hospital: Children, Adults & Elderly licensed & bonded CINDY M. YELVERTON, OWNER 601-981-3661 if no answer 601-291-6555 sittersllc@bellsouth.net www.sittersllc.com

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mschristianliving.com â?&#x2DC; FEBRUARY 2015 35

➺chewed petunias by SUSAN E. RICHARDSON

Digging for the Roots For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him. – Psalm 22:24, ESV bout three years ago I noticed a strange pattern cropping up physically. I started running lowgrade fever. Never enough to make me worry, but enough to notice. Since I have allergies and always have some

congestion, I thought I probably had developed a mild sinus infection. When I started waking up with severe night sweats, I didn’t connect the two. After all, I had to accept that I’d come to a certain age where such things happen. After a couple of episodes, I reminded myself to get back on my herbals and went on with life. Finally I came to a Thursday morning when I felt too bad to get ready for an appointment. I managed to get out of bed, but couldn’t push myself any further. I took an antihistamine and went back to bed, hoping to sleep off whatever was brewing. By that evening, I could tell I was sick and should have called the doctor. First thing Friday morning I called and was able to get in that afternoon. The verdict was pneumonia. My doctor immediately put me on medication and told me to come back Monday to see how I was doing. Pneumonia isn’t anyone’s idea of fun, and I wasn’t pleased with having it, but then came the phone call from my doctor after the radiologist had checked my chest x-rays. I didn’t just have pneumonia. I had a lung abscess. The pneumonia was probably a complication of the abscess. What I’m learning about living with spiritual wounding brought my bout with pneumonia and the lung abscess back to mind. In some ways, spiritual wounds are like physical ills. A problem raises its head and we think we know what’s going on. We may try treatment of some kind and things get a little better. Then one day, everything comes together and we see that we’ve got a big problem. With my illness, when I went back for another checkup, I was shocked to end up in the hospital. The pneumonia had responded to the drugs, but the abscess had not. I needed stronger treatment with different antibiotics to get rid of the root cause. My doctor knew that from the beginning, but she also knew I could only tolerate so much

36 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

medication at a time. She chose to treat the pneumonia first, since that was the closest to killing me. Spiritual wounds can be the same. Back when I was in counseling, I’d noticed that we seemed to come back to the same issues on a different level. I had done the work before, but each time we cleared out a layer of “infection” we found more I needed to do. The more we found, the more I saw how most approaches to recovery address the outer level, whether it’s depression or another challenge. Recognizing my self-centered defenses or acknowledging how false beliefs had become idols was important, but removing those things still did not touch the wound creating all the issues. I needed to allow God in more deeply. Over time, the Lord has cleared a lot of spiritual and emotional infection from my life, but I’m still asking questions about how to get rid of the deepest wound. I haven’t found answers yet. God knows what the wounds are and how to heal them, but like my doctor He also knows how much treatment I can stand at any point in time. He works with gentle persistence to bring me to wholeness, as He does anyone living with woundedness. Eventually I may see and understand. Until then I grumble, complain, and fight, but keep moving forward, wanting to know. When I come face to face with my human lack and can’t understand, “I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds” (Psalm 77:11-12, ESV).

Lord, give us the courage to keep moving forward despite what we can or can’t see. Hold tightly to us when we can’t hold onto You. Help us allow You to lead us more deeply into healing, seeking to face the deepest wounds. Y Susan E. Richardson has a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word.You can reach her by email at Susan@chewedpetunias.com or check either of her two websites: www.chewedpetunias.com or www.nextlevelcritiques.com.

mschristianliving.com â?&#x2DC; FEBRUARY 2015 37

➺christian commerce Sitters, LLC Is a Homegrown Business

(Seated L to R) Gwin Wyatt, Ashley Hegwood, Kelsey Griffin, (Standing L to R) Cindy Yelverton, Owner/Manager; Carey Yelverton, (Not pictured) Jacqui Lear, Vicki Hightower.

MCL: Where did you grow up and what is your education background? Cindy Yelverton: I was born and raised in the Delta. I lived in Tralake, Mississippi, where my father managed a cotton farm. I lived there until I went to college. After graduating from Deer Creek Academy in 1978, I went to Ole Miss where I studied Business Administration.

MCL: When did you begin Sitters, LLC? CY: I started Sitters, LLC, in 2001 as a home-based business. At the time, I had three small children that also needed my attention. As the business grew, I moved my office to Highland Village and have been there ever since.

MCL: What made you interested in providing a service like this? CY: I actually started Sitters as a nanny matching service. With three children, I had a wealth of baby sitters that all of my friends wanted to use. I referred some of the people who helped care for my family to others so that my friends could run errands, have a night out, or do whatever else they needed. So when I turned 40, I decided to turn this into a

38 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

business. That is when Sitters, LLC, was created. Matching sitters for adult care just happened as the need for senior care grew in the community. I started looking for sitters that were interested in providing adult care at that point. MCL: Your service differs from a lot of the others that people think of as a “sitting” service because I notice your services are not limited to taking care of the elderly.What can you tell me about the specific services you provide? CY: We connect skilled and compassionate individuals with our clients who need additional care for children and adults in the home, hospital, nursing, or assisted living facilities. Most of the sitters with whom we have relationships require a three-hour minimum stay, and we are available to connect families with a sitter 24/7. The sitters generally provide transportation, errands, assisting with personal needs, meals, cleaning and especially companionship. As a complimentary service for clients who have Long Term Care Insurance, we will file the expenses paid to us with their insurance company for them.

MCL: When you assign a caregiver to a particular job, how do you match the need and the caregiver? CY: Finding the right match is very personal from client to client and is an important undertaking. I start by personally contacting the client or a family member to assess their wants and needs. I also like to have a feel for their personality, the time of day or night a sitter is needed, etc. I then take the information the family has given me and match that client with a sitter according to experience, personality, and availability. I always tell my families that the personalities have to mix for the match to work. If one particular sitter does not mix well with the family, I ask them to call me so that I can refer a different sitter. The family is the heart and soul of our society. Inviting a caregiver, a stranger, into someone’s home is a very personal decision and can be a daunting task that I take very seriously. I personally match all my sitters to my families no matter how hard or difficult the situation may be. I know all my sitters on a personal basis. I see them regularly when they are in the office and know their personalities. When I talk to

clients, I am automatically thinking of the best fit for them. Most of the time I get it spot on. I still make it a priority after 14 years in business to personally interview every sitter in my database of potential sitters. Also, personal contact with every client and family has always been a priority for me. MCL: I notice that Sitters has more than one location.What cities do you serve? CY: Yes, we have clients and relationships with sitters really over most of the state, especially cities in the surrounding Jackson Metro area, Oxford, and Tupelo. If a client calls from an area where we do not have a relationship with any sitters, we will do a search until we find the person or persons right for that client. I go beyond the call of duty to help anyone in need.

MCL: As a business owner and entrepreneur of sorts, how do you integrate your personal faith and values into your business? CY: My faith has pulled me through many personal and business situations through these years. My faith is based on trust and love of God. I would hope that my clients have the faith and trust in me to help them to the best of

(L to R) Cindy Yelverton and Diane Arnold, Caregiver.

my ability. I take pride in doing the best I can for all of my families and for the sitters. If distress or problems occur, they know to call me whenever needed. I do want to mention the sitters that I have developed relationships with over the years. I am grateful for the dedication they have to

their clients and to me. I am able to place sitters in positions with clients that fit their time and needs. Some of these sitters would not otherwise have flexible work opportunities due to children, school, or geographic location if they didn’t have a relationship with my company. I always tell them they are like my second family. God has blessed me with many talents. This is my way of sharing my gifts from God with other people. I am trying to use my talents in the service of others, and consider this my life’s mission and ministry. With the help of God and my loving family, I have built this company on love, honesty, integrity, and dependability. I am honored to help match clients in need of assistance with sitters that need work. “…Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:40, KJV). Scripture tells us that we are to be compassionate and caring of others. It is our mission to offer helping hands from compassionate caregivers. “Care is our calling” is our motto. By treating every client with tenderness, dignity, empathy, and respect, we strive to show our clients how important they and their loved ones are to us. Y

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www.nmaac.com mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 39

➺money matters by SCOTT T. MARSHALL, CPA, CFP®

Before You Invest—Four Simple Questions to Ask Yourself What you really need to know to make sound investment decisions. What does the Bible say about investing money? God’s inspired, inerrant Word has plenty to say about the stewardship of money. As Christians God expects us to give, budget and save wisely. It’s vital to remember that Scripture tells us not to love money, trust in money, or even try to serve God and money simultaneously. (1 Timothy 6:10,17; Matthew 6:24) We don't really own anything; God just lets us use things. We came into this world empty-handed and we will leave this world the same way. God's Word does not prohibit but, rather, encourages saving for the future, including

Worried about everything you need to save for? From college to retirement, I can help you create a plan to reach your saving goals. Call today. Let’s talk about your plan for life. Modern Woodmen of America

Jim Brown* FIC 398 East Main St., Ste. 201 Tupelo, MS 38804 662-678-6935 James.P.Brown@mwarep.org

retirement (Proverbs 6:6-11, 21:20), but the example of the rich fool, given by Jesus in Luke 12:16-20, should be a clear indication that God's balance is "when in doubt, give— don't hoard." As I think about our witness before the world, it would appear to be evident that in our most visible area, finances, we often have a poor testimony. In large part, this is because Christians just haven't been taught what God's Word says. We need God's Word to be taught clearly and unashamedly, and the gospel of Jesus Christ proclaimed in our cities and states, and to the nations. Perhaps the next greatest need is for Christians who will live in a manner that is worthy of the gospel. (Philippians 1:27) The way we handle money is a really good barometer of our spiritual condition. Our pastor frequently reminds us that we are to order our lives, including our finances, for the sake of the gospel. So before you invest what God has blessed you with, make sure you remember the words of Christ in Matthew 6:19-21, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Why are you investing?

*Registered representative. Securities offered through MWA Financial Services Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Modern Woodmen of America. 40 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Is your goal short term in nature, like saving money for a new car or vacation next year? Or do you have a long-term goal of accumulating money for your children’s college education or your future retirement? For short-term goals, consider saving

money in a savings account. This account offers liquidity (you can withdraw funds when you need them). Savings accounts provide safety for your money. Another choice is money market accounts, which provide income on cash reserves while preserving capital. However, the interest earned on these accounts is usually low. With long-term goals, consider placing your money in investment vehicles that can potentially offer higher returns. Examples include variable annuities, mutual funds, stocks, and bonds. The downside of these investment opportunities is the potential to lose your principal (the amount of money you originally placed in the investment) if the securities decrease in value.

How much time do you have? Once you decide your reason for investing, determine how much time you have until you will need the money. This is called your investment horizon. Generally, the longer your time horizon, the more risk you can assume.

How much risk are you willing to take? The more risk you’re willing to assume, the bigger the return on your investment could be. To determine your risk tolerance level, ask yourself this question: “What would I do if my investment lost money?” Would you immediately pull your funds out of the investment or remain calm, leaving your money in the investment vehicle? Once you’ve answered those key questions, consult a trusted financial advisor who both advocates and personally practices biblical stewardship. This will make finding the right investment vehicles much easier for you.

Jim Brown is a financial advisor with Modern Woodmen of America, and an elder at the Church at Trace Crossing in Tupelo. He and his wife, Candise, have three children, Taylor, Andrew, and Carrie Ann.You can email him at james.p.brown@mwarep.org. Securities offered through MWA Financial Services Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Modern Woodmen of America, 1701 1st Avenue, Rock Island, IL 61201, 309-558-3100. Member: FINRA, SIPC.

Welcomes

Jay Brown, MD Dr. Jay Brown, a native of Bay Springs, Mississippi, received his Bachelor of Arts degree in Biology from the University of Mississippi and completed his medical degree and Ophthalmology residency at the University of Mississippi School of Medicine, where he was presented with an Award for Excellence in Ophthalmology studies. His retina fellowship was completed at Louisiana State University in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and he proudly served as the Chief of Ophthalmology at Mississippi Baptist Hospital from 2010 to 2012. He is board certified by the American Board of Ophthalmology.

Belhaven Building 1200 North State Street, Suite 300 Jackson, Mississippi 39202

601.981.4091 www.msretina.com mschristianliving.com â?&#x2DC; FEBRUARY 2015 41

If I gave everything I have to the poor & even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. – 1 Corinthians 13:3

real love.

real acceptance.

www.star93fm.com 42 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

➺

legal advice

by WILLIAM B. HOWELL

Role Reversal—When the Child Becomes the Parent We all have our image of ourselves in relation to our parents. It is probably one of obedience and respect. We were taught not to talk back and not to ask unnecessary questions, but to obey. Now our parents may be becoming forgetful, or becoming infirm physically, which leads in some cases to a fearfulness of things that in prior years would have given them no concern. These are very real changes, and they have to be addressed in the relationship of parent and child. In order to make the life of the parent better and to make the life of the child easier, we cling to the old relationship, but at our peril. Make certain that, as you need to take over for your parent, you have the actual authority. Many people rely upon a skimpy one- or two-page power of attorney and think that will do the job. There are several omissions that will make such a document faulty and hobble your ability to do things on behalf of your parent. Specifically, if there is real estate involved, and most particularly if it is homestead real property, you need to have the actual legal description of the property and the specific authority set out within the power of attorney, and the power of attorney needs to be recorded at the courthouse. Recording is always a wise thing to do under any circumstances, because you may need multiple “true” copies of the power of attorney. It is much easier to get an attested copy from the chancery clerk’s office than it is to keep track of countless originals. Also, there is the problem of some banks and others not honoring a power of attorney. That can be overcome by having a living trust rather than, or in addition to, a power of attorney.

HOWELL KYLE & WYNN, PLLC ATTORNEYS AT LAW

Of course, our parents, ourselves, and just about everyone else, need an Advance Health-Care Directive to be able to specify what it is that we do and do not want done for our care from a medical standpoint, particularly in the latter stages of life. This is a most useful document, but one that, strangely, many people do not have. It is easy to obtain and, again, should be recorded and copies given out to the persons who are involved, including your physician and decision makers. Make certain that it includes provisions under HIPAA (the federal medical privacy regulations). Finally, ask about and learn about in detail your parents’ finances. This applies regardless of how wealthy or how little they may have. Knowledge of their financial situation is crucial when you are the one going to be called upon to make the decisions regarding possible nursing home placement, independent living, or other arrangements. There is no substitute for knowledge, and the biggest impediment to gaining that knowledge is the child’s own reluctance and fear of being perceived by the parent as prying, when all the child is attempting to do is to gain the necessary knowledge to provide meaningful assistance in seeing to the care of the parent. They usually will understand this unless the parent is into advanced paranoia, in which case this inquiry should have been done a long time ago. It is imperative that you have a handle on the financial aspect. Parenting a parent is a daunting task, especially with the baggage that most of us carry with us regarding our relationship to our parents. But, it is so very important, and it may well be your final expression of love to your mother or father. Y

YOU·VE WORKED HARD FOR IT³WHY THROW IT AWAY? While you are alive, you can and should make all decisions and manage your personal affairs. What if you become incompetent? What happens at your death? Who will take over and manage your affairs? Will it be someone you chose or the court chose? How is that done? Will it be outside of court or in court? The same questions arise with the distribution of your assets. What about protecting your FKLOG·V LQKHULWDQFH IURP D GLYRUFH RU D ODZVXLW" :LOO \RXU KDUG-earned savings go to the nursing home? Have you ever asked yourself these questions? Howell Kyle & Wynn, PLLC is committed to providing you with the knowledge and tools needed to avoid these types of situations which can be financially and emotionally devastating to your loved ones. Below are some items to consider:

Our life expectancy has increased, but are all of us going to be in good health in our old age? Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing what the future holds for ourselves and our families. Howell Kyle & Wynn, PLLC is dedicated to providing you and your family a plan that offers true peace of mind.

1-800-839-7857 www.HowellElderLaw.com

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ASSET PROTECTION PLANNING

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NURSING HOME MEDICAID PLANNING

ADVANCE HEALTH-CARE DIRECTIVES

SPECIAL NEEDS TRUSTS

HIPAA AUTHORIZATIONS

GET ACCURATE ANSWERS FROM AN EXPERIENCED ATTORNEY FREE SEMINARS³FREE CONSULTATIONS HEAR MR. KYLE ON THE RADIO! TUESDAYS 7:35A.M. NEWSTALK 1180

601-978-1700 OR 1-800-839-7857 VISIT US ON THE WEB:

www.HowellElderLaw.com mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 43

➺what’s going on Dr. Ben Carson to Speak in Tupelo

uesday, February 17, Parkgate Pregnancy Clinic will be hosting Dr. Ben Carson for their yearly fundraiser. Dr. Carson

used the power of education to triumph over his difficult beginnings in inner city Detroit. He is a retired Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at John Hopkins, has performed numerous craniopagus separations, and was named as one of the nation’s 20 foremost physicians and scientists. In 2008, President Bush awarded Carson the Ford’s Theater Lincoln Medal and the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the U.S. highest civilian honors. Dr. Carson will be speaking for Parkgate’s fundraiser at the Orchard Church in Tupelo, MS. Doors open at 5:30 p.m., coffee and dessert will be served, and the event begins at 6:30 p.m. Tickets can be purchased at parkgateclinic.com. Executive Director Jima Alexander says being a part of Parkgate’s ministry has, “reminded me of what Jesus has done for me. He could have placed judgment on me but instead He received me.” Parkgate Pregnancy Clinic is about freely receiving and investing in women. Parkgate is a non-profit medical clinic that offers limited obstetrical ultrasound to women facing an unplanned pregnancy. Other services provided are MPower (Abstinence Curriculum), Parenting Classes, and Post-Abortion Bible Studies. Parkgate’s Mission is to promote life-affirming choices. No Hassles. No Judgement. Just Help. In 2014, Parkgate Pregnancy Clinic received 2,006 clients and performed 616 Ultrasounds. Parkgate relies on sponsorships, their yearly fundraiser, and donations from life-minded individuals to offer these free services. Y

➺rave reviews BOOK Esther Royal Beauty Reviewed by Susan E. Richardson Best-selling author Angela Hunt begins a new Biblical fiction series with Esther: Royal Beauty. Hunt combines the Biblical story with in-depth research, giving the familiar story freshness. Writing fiction about Biblical characters can be challenging, but the author always considers Scripture the final authority. We meet Hadassah in Susa, one of Persia’s capital cities, where she lives with her uncle Mordecai and his wife, Miriam. Her relatives raise her in the Jewish faith but she sees the entrancing differences in the lives of others. From her friendship with a Persian girl to her own hopes and dreams, she lives between the two worlds. While Hadassah grows up, Harbonah, one of the king’s servants, becomes our eyes and ears inside the Persian court. Through him we get to know Xerxes, who will change Hadassah’s life. The two stories move along beside each other with Mordecai as the primary connection point until the king’s edict brings Hadassah to the palace and her new name: Esther. Through the story, readers experience Persian history and learn details of Persian law and justice that may be unfamiliar. Xerxes becomes a complex person, not just a name, as does Vashti and others Scripture mentions. If you enjoy historical fiction or Biblical fiction, more specifically, you can’t go wrong with Esther. Book groups will find discussion questions at the end of the book, and Hunt provides an author’s note to answer questions a reader may have. Forthcoming titles in the “Dangerous Beauty” series include Bathsheba and Delilah. Y Susan E. Richardson is a writer, critique reader, and former Christian retailer with a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word.You can reach her through her website www.nextlevelcritiques.com.

NAVIGATE SINGLE ADULT CONFERENCE

February 21st, 2015 — 9 am to 2 pm Childcare for 3 years through grade 6, available by reservation when you register.

Cost $25 To register: www.firstbaptistjackson.org/navigate/ Learn from the past, thrive in the present, embrace the future. 44 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

➺

events calendar CLINTON

MADISON

February 7 The Diabetes Foundation of Mississippi hosts the Bacchus Ball 6:30–11:30 p.m. at the Country Club of Jackson. Wear your finest and bring your dancing shoes as The Atlanta All Stars, the South’s most authentic Motown, Soul and R&B band, wows you with a dazzling display of musical talent! Bid on incredible artwork, jewelry, sports memorabilia, and amazing deals as part of the silent and live auctions. 601.978.7878 or msdiabetes.org.

February 6

February 7 St. Joseph Catholic School Annual Drawdown benefitting the student body and the school. Silent auction, live auction, and much more. Purchase tickets at stjoebruins.com by clicking on the Draw Down link. $125 ticket admits two people one chance to win $10,000!

February 11 Alta Woods Baptist Church presents John Maxwell’s Fish Tale production, The Story of Peter. Dinner at 5:00 p.m. Performance at 5:30 p.m. Tickets $10. 601.372.8651. February 21 First Baptist Jackson hosts Navigate, a single adult conference with six seminars, engaging speakers, and roundtable discussions. 9 a.m.–2 p.m. at First Baptist Church. Contact Gwen Jenkins at gjenkins@fbcj.org.

Van Cliburn Award winning pianist Sean Chen performs at Mississippi College’s Swor Auditorium. 7:30 p.m. Details and tickets available at mc.edu/marketplace. February 7 Bob Coleman Winter 10K Run/5K Walk. 8 a.m. Out-and-back course on the Natchez Trace Parkway, Clinton, I-20 East/West, Exit 34, then south to first parking lot. Registration on Race Day at 7 a.m. All proceeds benefit CARA. mstrackclub.com or 601-856-9884.

RIDGELAND February 21 Make a Difference 5K race sponsored by SouthGroup Insurance and benefitting Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital. Course begins and ends at Woodlands Office Park at County Line Road in Ridgeland. Kids area including space jumps, face painting, and balloons. mstrackclub.com

February 12 Date Night with Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott. Broadmoor Baptist Church at 1531 Highland Colony Parkway 6:30-9 p.m. This fun event is for couples of any age or stage. Conflicts happen, but they can lead to a deeper level of intimacy. Couples will laugh while they learn new ways to instantly improve their relationship. broadmoor.com or 601.898.2345.

TUPELO February 7 Muddy 5K benefitting the Tupelo Preparatory School. 8:30–9:45 a.m. Registration and packet pickup. 10 a.m. 5K start and 10:45 a.m. Fun Run start. racesonline.com/events/tupelo-muddy-5k

February 28 New Summit School hosts its 15th Annual Drawdown in their gym at 1417 Lelia Drive. 6–9 p.m. Live entertainment, heavy hors d’oeurvres, $5,000 drawdown, and silent auction. $100 ticket admits two. 601.982.7827 or newsummitschool.com.

February 17 The Orchard church presents an evening with the renowned surgeon, scholar, and teacher, Dr. Ben Carson. Fundraiser for Parkgate Pregnancy Clinic. 662.841.1517 or parkgateclinic.com.

February 28 Beth Israel Congregation at 5315 Old Canton Road presents Jewish Bible Scholar Dr. Joel Hoffman, author of And God Said lectures “On the Bible’s Cutting Room Floor.” Learn about fascinating ancient texts that were cut from the Bible. Dessert reception follows. 7 p.m. Free and open to the public. 601.956.6215. February 28 Covenant Presbyterian Pre-K, 5K and 1-Mile Fun Run family event begins and ends at Covenant Presbyterian Church at 4000 Ridgewood Road. Prizes in every age group. Pre-register at racesonline.com/events/covenant-pre-k-5k or Race day registration at 7 a.m. at the church. 601.981.7236 or TreyWeir@comcast.net.

STARKVILLE February 28 Chick-fil-A Run/Walk 10K, 5K, and 1 Mile. Join the Herd and lace up your running shoes for the Chick-fil-A Connect Race Series. The race will benefit Palmer Home for Children and help extend effective, healing help, so that hurting children can dare to hope, to dream, and to love again. 6:30–9:30 a.m. cfaraceseries.com or 662.324.4460.

MERIDIAN February 6 Béla Fleck & the Knights at the Riley Center at 7:30 p.m. Tickets $55, $49. Premier banjo player Béla Fleck is considered one of the most innovative pickers in the world, playing everything from traditional bluegrass to progressive jazz to classical music. msurileycenter.com.

February 13 The Berenstain Bears Live at the Riley Center! 7 p.m. Tickets $18, $10. Adapted from the classic children’s book series by Stan and Jan Berenstain, this production brings everyone’s favorite bear family to life in this colorful musical for the whole family. msurileycenter.com. Y

mschristianliving.com ❘ FEBRUARY 2015 45

FEBRUARY 2015

JACKSON

➺quips & quotes

ADVERTISER INDEX

}

{

Cut out the scriptures and quotes and place them around your home for daily encouragement!

✂

Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.

However, it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.”

–PSALM 145:13-14.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

– 1 CORINTHIAN 2:9

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.

– Martin Luther King, Jr.

– Robert Louis Stevenson

Serenity in suffering is a stirring testimony. Anybody can preach a sermon on a mount surrounded by daisies. But only one with a gut full of faith can live a sermon on a mountain of pain.

The only way to understand a woman is to love her, and then it isn’t necessary to understand her.

The first duty of love is to listen. – Paul Tillich

– EZEKIEL 36:26

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. – 1 PETER 4:8

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. – C.S. Lewis

– Max Lucado, No Wonder They Call Him Savior

Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built. – Dr. James Dobson

The greatest legacy one can pass on to one's children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one's life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.

A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.

–Billy Graham

– C.S. Lewis

The authority by which the Christian leader leads is not power but love, not force but example, not coercion but reasoned persuasion. Leaders have power, but power is only safe in the hands of those who humble themselves to serve. – John Stott

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember.You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think! But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you. – Christopher Robin in Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne

NORTH STATE

ANIMAL & BIRD HOSPITAL 5208 North State Street • Jackson, MS 39206

Dr. Steven Britt Dr. Jonathan Faulkner Dr. Melisa McLendon Dr. Adrian Whittington OFFICE HOURS: Monday-Friday: 7:30 am - 6:00 pm Saturday: 8:00 am - 12:00 pm Sunday: Boarding only 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm

601-982-8261 Boarding & Grooming Services Available

46 FEBRUARY 2015 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living

Catherine McMahan CHRISTIAN VOCALIST

To purchase CDs, or for more info, contact chm415@gmail.com or 662.871.5244.

ADVERTISING PARTNERS PAGE Baptist Health Systems.............................................33 Belhaven University.....................................................2 Bliss Gift & Home......................................................22 Boy Scouts of America.............................................16 C Spire ..........................................................................3 Capstone Treatment Center....................................11 Covenant Caregivers ..................................................9 Crisis Pregnancy Center - Phil Robertson..............27 Energy Insulation.......................................................32 EyeCare Professionals ..............................................37 First Baptist Jackson.................................................44 First Presbyterian Day School..................................39 Grace Myofascial Clinic............................................31 Grantham Poole Certified Public Accountants.....27 Hartfield Academy....................................................27 Howell, Kyle, & Wynn, PLLC Attorneys at Law.....43 Jackson Academy.....................................................35 Jackson Preparatory School ....................................21 Lamar School.............................................................32 Catherine McMahan, Christian Vocalist .................46 Methodist Senior Services .......................................21 Miskelly Furniture ........................................................7 Mississippi College School of Law..........................17 Mississippi Eye Plastics.............................................35 Mississippi Periodontic Specialists Group..............15 Mississippi Retina Associates...................................41 Modern Woodman Financial...................................40 Moffett Law Firm.......................................................37 MORA ........................................................................29 New Beginnings Adoptions ....................................44 N. State Animal Hospital..........................................46 North Mississippi Allergy & Asthma.......................39 O! How Cute .............................................................33 Parkgate Pregnancy Center ....................................28 Pine Grove Treatment Center ...................................8 Private Collection......................................................30 Ray's Fine Linens.......................................................33 Renasant Bank...........................................................37 Sitters, LLC.................................................................35 Smiles by Design.......................................................17 Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company..41 Southern Bath & Kitchen .........................................21 St. Catherine's Village...............................................48 St. Dominic's..............................................................47 Sta-Home...................................................................12 Stegall Imagery..........................................................42 Summit Counseling ..................................................10 The Orthopedic Institute/Forrest Health ...............13 The Vein Center at Rush ..........................................23 Tinnin Imports..............................................................5 Twin Lakes..................................................................19 Venable Glass Services.............................................39 WHJT Star 93.5.........................................................42

“I feel better than I’ve felt in years”

PATRICIA WEST Tupelo, MS

Our Inspiration... Patsy’s Teaching Legacy Patsy West was a schoolteacher 32 years. She started having difficulty keeping up with her students and was feeling weak - even tired. She discovered she had a very serious heart valve problem that was slowing her down and causing her breathless fatigue. This led her to the Mississippi Heart and Vascular Institute at St. Dominic’s where cardiovascular surgeon, Antoine Keller, MD, corrected Patsy’s issues. According to Patsy, the surgery had an almost immediate effect on her energy.

Mississippi Heart and Vascular Institute

Skilled Hands. Compassionate Hearts.

Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care C AM PBE L L C OVE I S C E RT I F I ED A S A N A L Z H EI M ER’ S D I SEA SE/D EM ENT IA UN I T

CAMPBELL COVE AT ST. CATHERINE’S VILLAGE OFFERS MEMORY CARE TO INDIVIDUALS WITH ALZHEIMER’S AND OTHER FORMS OF DEMENTIA Secure, homelike environment Specialized programming with activity focused care Nurturing staff helping with the activities of daily life

Coming Soon The Hughes Center at Campbell Cove, an extension of our Memory Care Unit that accommodates individuals in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s and other dementias.

Call 601-856-0160 for more information A subsidiary of St. Dominic Health Services

You can count on outstanding care. 3b 8±b ´´ ´´ ®´ o±´¼ ±b¼ ±b b ¼ community to be accredited by CARF-CCAC. This mark of quality is achieved by fewer than 13% of retirement communities in America.