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Indications for Use. Boston Scientific’s Precision™ Spinal Cord Stimulator System is indicated as an aid in the management of chronic intractable pain of the trunk and/or limbs, including unilateral or bilateral pain associated with failed back surgery syndrome, intractable low back pain and leg pain. Contraindications. The Precision Spinal Cord Stimulator System is not for patients who are unable to operate the system, have failed trial stimulation by failing to receive effective pain relief, are poor surgical risks, or are pregnant. Warnings. Patients implanted with the Precision Spinal Cord Stimulator System should not be exposed to Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI). Exposure to MRI may result in dislodgement of the stimulator or leads, heating of the stimulator, severe damage to the stimulator electronics and an uncomfortable or jolting sensation. As a Spinal Cord Stimulation patient, you should not have diathermy as either a treatment for a medical condition or as part of a surgical procedure. Strong electromagnetic fields, such as power generators or theft detection systems, can potentially turn the stimulator off, or cause uncomfortable jolting stimulation. The system should not be charged while sleeping. The Precision Spinal Cord Stimulator System may interfere with the operation of implanted sensing stimulators such as pacemakers or implanted cardiac defibrillators. Advise your physician that you have a Spinal Cord Stimulator before going through with other implantable device therapies so that medical decisions can be made and appropriate safety measures taken. Patients should not operate motorized vehicles or potentially dangerous machinery with therapeutic stimulation switched “on.” Your doctor may be able to provide additional information on the Precision Spinal Cord Stimulator System. For a copy of the Precision Spinal Cord Stimulator System Patient Handbook, including the indications for use, contraindications, warnings, precautions, and side effects, call 866.360.4747 or visit ControlYourPain.com. NM-50910-AA_JAN2011 ©2011 Boston Scientific Corporation or its affiliates. All rights reserved. Printed in U.S.A.
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contents JULY 2012
metro ®
Volume 7, Number 1
columns 12 The Way I See It The Art of Gratitude
14 Salt & Light Clean Water for Malawi
16 HomeWorks Best of Home Works 2002-2012
18 Modern Motherhood Family Style
features 32 TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY
20 Living My Call Selfless Service
22 All in the Family
Treasures in Earthen Vessels
Doin’ Sunday Every Day
A look back at some of our favorite cover stories
A Decade of Memories, page 38 Thanks to Our Photographers, page 44
47
26 This is My Story Happy Birthday Metro Christian Living
52 Legal Advice Planning for Long-Term Care
Special Feature
57 Our Daily Bread
The Sisters of St. Dominic’s
Searching for Answers
58 Let’s Talk it Over Clash of the Caregivers
departments 24 A View From You Comments from our website
50
14
50 Food For Thought Lydia’s Best of the Bests
51 Money Matters Finding the Joy in Managing God’s Money
54 Fresh Finds Sizzlin’ Summer Styles and Mississippi Craft Center Christmas in July
22
12
60 Rave Reviews Books, movies and music
in every issue What’s Coming Next Month? Lynn Fitch State Treasurer
10 61 62 62
Editor’s Letter Event Calendar Quips & Quotes Ad Directory
Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc., Member, M.I.P.A. Editor: Marilyn Tinnin marilyn@metrochristianliving.com Administrative Assistant: Carol Rodgers carol@metrochristianliving.com Art Direction/Graphic Design Sandra K. Goff Graphic Production Assistant Kate Thomas Sales Marilyn Tinnin, Kimberly Stephens, Suzanne Tanner Contributing Writers: Marla Baker, Lydia Bolen, Dr. John L. Cox, Elizabeth Conner, Cathy Haynie, William Howell, Mary Hughes, Molly Meeks, Robin O’Bryant, Susan E. Richardson, Gisle Sorli, Martin E. Willoughby Distribution Assistants: Laura Kidder, Randy Fortenberry, Carol Rodgers, Andrea Sabillion, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Priscilla Sullivan, Tim Waldon, Bob Whatley
Metro Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Metro Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Metro Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2008 by Metro Christian Living, Inc. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of International Bible Society.
Metro Christian Living is published monthly and is available at high traffic locations throughout the metropolitan area. Copies are also available by subscription, $29 for one year. Single issues available for $3 an issue. POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Metro Christian Living, 573 Highway 51 North, Suite C, Ridgeland, MS 39157, phone number 601-790-9076.
➺
M I P A Mississippi Independent Publishers' Alliance
8 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
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➺editor’s letter Ten Years…Blessings and Birthdays nce upon a time…how many enchanted stories of childhood began just that way? Long before I could hold a book and read its words, I thrilled to the voice of my mother who was a master of “Once upon a time” stories. The fact that Jesus drove home his most profound truths via some riveting parables tells me human beings have just always loved good stories about real people. You know what else is interesting about Jesus’ story-telling? His characters came from all walks of life. Sometimes they were regular folks—like shepherds, homemakers, and farmers—middle class like most of us. Then other times they were the “one percent”—kings, noblemen and, I guess if there had been any, there would have been celebrities in the mix. More than any other historical figure of the past, Jesus understood humanity. Fully God and fully human, he understood men and women to their very core considering each person a unique individual with personal complexities, experiences, motives, and longings. I love that he knew exactly how to meet each person at exactly their point of need. We were made for relationship and we like stories we can relate to, and we really love it when, despite the obstacles, the good guy wins. And so, I guess all of the above explains to some extent why this magazine continues to thrive even in these crazy economic and divisive times. Building this publication has been a whole lot like raising children again. There have been days when I wondered why in the world I ever wanted to do this and days when I could not believe I could be so blessed to be doing exactly this at this season of my life! I have had the most fun over the last few weeks reconnecting with some of our past cover stories. What had happened to each person since last time we talked? With each conversation I gained a fresh insight into what it means to build one’s life upon the immutable God of the ages. Different seasons of life bring different challenges, and though some are happy events, some of them are downright painful and difficult. I learned much from each of these dear people about the sufficiency of God’s grace and the truth of Romans 8:37- 39. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. I also thought about how easy it was to pick up where we left off last time. That’s the way it ought to always be among Christians. One of my points in the “Backdoor Lessons” talk that I give so often is this one: Surround yourself with life giving rather than life sapping relationships. Working on this month’s issue has brought that thought home to me as the entire task of putting this together kept us all energized and excited. I sincerely hope you feel that way, too. May the encouragement in these pages remind you, as it did me, that our God is real and no matter what we read on the front page of the daily news, our God reigns and always will. Enjoy. We have filled this issue with memories, reflections from our regular columnists and lots of plain old love. I count my blessings.
O
Let your light so shine ❝ before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven
❞
– Matthew 5:16
And P.S. While we are talking blessings, the Tinnin’s have a new one. Kenneth Forbes Grogan V came into the world on June 20. His mom, Jill, is one of my three “bonus babies,” acquired when Charles and I married. I couldn’t resist including this precious little boy’s picture! Y
10 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and Editor marilyn@metrochristianliving.com
➺the way i see it by MARTIN E. WILLOUGHBY, JR.
The Art of Gratitude
T
he Lord works in strange and mysterious ways.
Several months ago, Carol Kohler, a co-worker and Godly woman, felt inspired to share a book with me, The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Paul White. You may recognize Dr. Gary Chapman as the best-selling author of The Five Love Languages and related works. His colleague Dr. Paul White is a national expert on family coaching. Interestingly, shortly after receiving this gift, I happen to randomly cross paths with Dr. White and have subsequently struck up a strong friendship. Chapman and White’s book takes the principles of the five love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, tangible gifts, and physical touch) and applied them in the workplace to help us understand how we are encouraged as well as how to best show appreciation to others. While their book shares the tools, resources, and information to help apply these concepts in a practical way in any workplace, what is particularly compelling to me is the fundamental Christian principles on which their teaching is based. The reality is that too few of us really understand how to genuinely show appreciation for others. Whether in the workplace or in the home, we often take others for granted and rarely take the time to be intentional about showing appreciation. Followers of Jesus know that people have worth because we are all created by a holy God. We also are adopted sons and daughters because our lives were bought with the ultimate ransom of Christ’s blood on the cross. That is not to be taken lightly. It is no wonder we aren’t only called to love God, but also “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:36-40). One of the big ideas that Chapman and White share is that we often don’t realize that people best receive appreciation in different ways. While some people may best respond to words of affirmation,
12 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
others may best respond to tangible gifts. We can unintentionally defeat the purpose of showing appreciation by expressing it in a way that does not fit the recipient’s actual best “language.” From a pure business standpoint, there is plenty of data to support the benefits of creating a work environment where people properly show appreciation. However, I believe as Christians that we have a higher calling and reason to show others this kind of appreciation. We bring honor to people and demonstrate our respect to them as individuals when we take the time to understand their “language” and express genuine appreciation. Organizations that only do “recognition” programs that lack real sincerity often find that they fall flat. Employees quickly see through insincere gestures of appreciation. I am encouraged by Chapman and White’s work and envisioning more workplaces where people act in a Christ like manner by honoring others and showing heart-felt appreciation. I think about times when people have shown me appreciation in my “language” and how good it made me feel. What a gift that we have to share with others! I have been honored to be a small part of the mission of Metro Christian Living for the past five years. I have been blessed in more ways than I can express. I want to acknowledge and thank Marilyn and her fantastic team for giving me this opportunity and to all of the readers who encourage me to continue to challenge myself to hear what God wants me to share each month. I look forward to another great ten years from Metro Christian Living, and I hope that we can all learn from Chapman and White’s work to learn to develop our ability to effectively show appreciation for others in our path. Y Martin E. Willoughby, Jr. is Chief Operating Officer of Butler Snow Advisory Services, LLC located in Ridgeland. He and his wife Nicki have two children, Ally and Trey, and live in Madison.
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➺salt & light by MARILYN TINNIN
Clean Water for Malawi And the King will answer them, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:40 alawi, a land-locked country in Southeastern Africa and sandwiched between Zambia, Mozambique and Tanzania, is home to 15.8 million people—80% of whom are Christians. There are three metropolitan
M
cities in Malawi, but 85% of the citizens live in rural areas and 52% of them survive on less than $1 a day. Life expectancy is only 50 years and the infant mortality rate is one of the highest in the world. A major contributor to the dismal statistics is the lack of access to safe drinking water. Largely agricultural and rural, the landscape is populated here and there with small villages of a few hundred people where livestock roam freely and everyone—animals and people alike—share the same water source. Hygiene is poor. In Malawian households, the average woman spends 26% of her time collecting water for her family—walking as far as three or four miles to draw water that is frequently contaminated. 30,000 people lose their lives every year to water related illnesses, and most are children. Victor Smith, well known Jacksonian whose evangelical and humanitarian endeavors both locally and around the globe are legend, became burdened for the Malawian people through his involvement with Here’s Life Africa. This non-profit interdenominational ministry, founded in 1997, began with two missionaries, an ox-cart, a projector, and the Jesus film which they traveled from village to village to share. Today the ministry has helped train pastors, founded hundreds of churches, seen three million confess Christ as savior, and brought mission groups, medical assistance and other aid to address overwhelming needs. As the work of Here’s Life has expanded over the years, there was a strong consensus among the leadership that effective life-changing ministry in this area could not ignore the daunting issue of contaminated water. Victor Smith has quite a track record for gathering support and tackling such challenges. The result is the Clean Water for Malawi organization headquartered 14 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
right here in Jackson. Since its beginning in 2011, the ministry has been able to drill 42 wells in the country. Each well will provide clean water for approximately 347 people. Bit by bit and donation by donation, Clean Water for Malawi is drilling wells to provide clean drinking water for every man, woman, and child. Much has been accomplished, but much is still to be done. Victor and a very committed board of directors have taken their video presentation to every civic club, church and Sunday school class that would grant them a few minutes. They are always looking for new invitations! It is impossible NOT to want to get on board when you hear the stories, see the need and realize that this is something the average person CAN do to make a huge and life-saving difference in the life of a fellow believer. The total cost of a well is $3500. Of the 42 that have been built, 18 have been built by individuals and the remaining 24 have been group efforts from Sunday school classes, businesses, or civic groups. Any donation can help the cause. Clean Water places a plaque on each well with the donor’s name. The pictures of the well surrounded by joyous and grateful villagers are a very graphic, tangible, and immediate way for donors to see and appreciate the impact of their giving. There are two crews in place at the present time. It takes about four days to drill a well, and obviously, the organization needs to keep the crew’s work load consistent in order to provide full time employment. Such a need means that the Board of Directors keep fund raising at the top of their priority list. Wyatt Emmerich, President of Emmerich Newspapers, is Vice President of the Board of Directors. He says the project “grabbed me as nothing ever has. Clean Water for Malawi has become our corporate project.” Like the other board members, Emmerich’s involvement is personal and passionate. He has had a big hand in helping build an impressive website which is updated constantly. It is easy to follow the progress on the number of wells completed, under way, or still awaiting funding. Since each well is documented, a donor can click on “his” well and check the status! For more information or to invite a member of the team to speak to your group, contact Bridgett Kellum-Moore, Executive Director at 601208-0936 or go to www.cleanwaterformalawi.org. Y
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$10 will give Clean Water to 1 child for 20 years
Please help us bring clean water to Malawi
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➺homeworks by CATHY HAYNIE
Best of Home Works 2002-2012
T
he task of coming up with the best tips from the last 10 years is actually not as daunting as it may seem. I
7
Create a loading zone. As we walk through the door of our home, most of us put down whatever is in our hands. Make a spot for keys, cell phone, jackets, etc. and know right where things are when it’s time to go.
find myself re-writing about those few things that seem to be the most important or helpful when trying to keep balance amidst busy seasons of life. So, this month let’s take a look at some of the best ideas for managing your busy life—those things that readers have responded to the most and those things that can really make a difference for your home and mine.
8
1
9
Go to bed with a clean kitchen and family room. This habit is a difference maker that helps us not wake up to yesterday’s problems. Today will have enough mess all on its own.
2
Merge the best of paper and technology. You need a place to keep up with your calendar, your contacts, and your to do items. Find a system that is right for you, whether it’s a paper organizer or a digital one, or a combination of the two. Purchase inexpensive vinyl shoe bags. These organizing products are great for more than shoes. Taking up very little space, vinyl shoe bags hung behind a door sort hair accessories, action figures or Barbie dolls, craft supplies, stockings and scarves, mittens and winter wear, and more.
Make dinner decisions in the morning. None of us loves that 5:00 afternoon hour. It is not our best time of day, yet we often not only wait till then to decide what we will cook for dinner, we often go to the grocery store as well! Making dinner plans early in the morning (or the night before) changes meal management. Using a crock-pot is a great way to force the habit.
10
3
Give every family member one kind of white sock. Buying a jumbo pack of white socks that are distinctive to each family member really makes laundry easier- just place them in the drawer loose, pull out two, and they match.
11
4
12
Clean out your closet next year. That’s right, delay the inevitable by turn all of your coat hangers around backwards. As you wear particular clothes and launder them, hang them up correctly. In just a few months, you will begin to see how many are still backwards, then again in 6 months, and in 12. It’s important to realize that we all have the clothes we like to wear, and then, there’s the rest of the closet…
5
Empty your linen closet. Sorting your linen closet and storing items at their point of use, such as the bedroom, empties space to use in another way. A linen closet is a great home office station, a game closet for kids, or a place for hobbies like scrapbooking. Gain a whole new closet, and you don’t even have to move.
6
Get ready for tomorrow tonight. Laying out clothes and making lunches isn’t just for children; this habit really sets the pace for calmer mornings for the whole family.
16 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Set up a few menu cards. By writing a favorite menu on an index card and listing the ingredients on the reverse, you have an instant menu plan and shopping list on those hectic days. Set up a few and keep them in your purse. Set-the-table placemats are a great way to get your toddler helping in the home. By tracing a proper place setting on vinyl placemats and stacking dishes on the table, even a two year old can play a matching game and set the table.
Double layer the bed. For a potty training aged child, be sure to double layer the bed with plastic fitted sheets and regular sheets. When an accident happens, pull off the top layer and go back to bed.
If life is busy and out of control, remember that it only takes one new habit to turn a problem area around. You’ve just got to find that one thing- it may take some time and trial and error, but it is your difference maker. Send me your ideas! chaynie@ccs.ms Y Cathy Haynie and her husband, Jack, have three children and live in Madison. Cathy is the Headmaster of Christ Covenant School in Ridgeland. She occasionally speaks to women’s groups on Honoring God in the Home and Balancing Work and Home. Contact her at chaynie@ccs.ms.
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metrochristianliving.com â?˜ JULY 2012 17
➺modern motherhood by ROBIN O’BRYANT
Family Style hen my family of five heads to “The Farm” in Curry, Alabama, for the weekend we are ready for the chaos that is part of the deal. Including my girls, there are nine cousins—all girls—ranging in age from 12 months to 12 years.
W
The three oldest girls make excellent babysitters and will pick up the three smallest cousins and pop them up on a hip faster than you can say, “Where’d my baby go?” Nine children and around eight adults stay in my in-laws’ house, sharing 1.5 bathrooms, kitchen duty and insanity. There is no such thing as privacy at “The Farm,” as my mother-inlaw, Plum, lovingly pointed out one evening. I was lying in the bed in the room Zeb and I shared with Sadie and laughed until I had tears streaming down my face when I heard Plum banging on the bathroom door downstairs. “What are you doing?!” She yelled through the locked door, “There’s No Such thing as Privacy!” Shower times should be chosen wisely. You don’t want to get in the shower after Emma and Mary Frances, as they use it as a rinsing station between rolls in the sand pile and shower shoes are required. You also don’t want to get in the shower after the ‘tweens as there will be no hot water left, and you don’t want to get in the shower while any one is running the dishwasher or the washing machine as you will alternately scald yourself and/or freeze to death. The Farm People, as my children adoringly refer to all of their Daddy’s family, are amazing folks— cut from the same cloth as Laura Ingalls Wilder. If there ever was a nuclear holocaust I’d hightail it to the farm as fast as I could get there because I know without a doubt they would still have running water, transportation (maybe just a mule drawn wagon but they’d be mobile) and possibly a good wi-fi connection. The Farm People do things like saddling horses and go for nature hikes and other things that involve sweat and the great outdoors. I’m not cut from the same cloth— so while I was zero assistance as they hung beams in the new living room and sleeping loft they built for all the grandgirls, I know my place. The kitchen is where I can be of the most use and where I can contribute to the family. So I cooked. From
my vantage point in the kitchen, I watched, laughed and shuddered with fear as huge beams were carried into the living room and hoisted onto scaffolding. I visited with everyone as dinner was scarfed down then took a post at the kitchen sink to clean up the mess that is inevitably made when cooking for a small army. The adults grabbed hammers and climbed back onto the scaffolding and I enlisted my troops. Faith, Zoe, and Kasey, the ‘tweens, cleared the tables and swept the floors. I sent Emma and Mary Frances, the kindergartners, to clean up the playroom. Sadie and Mary-Ann, the toddlers, giggled and bounced on their bottoms down the stairs. Aubrey and Abby, the smart ones, ran out of sight before they could be assigned a task. I stuck my hands in the soapy water as the kitchen magically cleaned itself behind me. I reached for a white ladle, a scoop stained brown from years of valiantly scooping Pop Pete’s hot chocolate into mugs for little girls exhausted from a day of chasing horses, gathering eggs and digging in the dirt. I rinsed the ladle, placed it in the sink to dry and sighed, thankful, to somehow be a part of this family. Y Robin O’Bryant is mother to three daughters, wife to one husband, and debut author of Ketchup Is A Vegetable And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves, available November 2011. She shares the drama and hilarity of motherhood in her syndicated family humor column, “Robin’s Chicks” and on her blog by the same name. (www.robinschicks.com)
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➺living my call by MARLA BAKER
Selfless Service fter working for Home Instead Senior Care for the last eight years, I have witnessed truly incredible moments of caregiving. The transformation in both the physical and emotional health in seniors is astounding when that special person with just the right touch is divinely led into their lives to help them with basic activities of daily living. Due to the very nature of the work we do at Home Instead, it was only fitting that our company would conduct a national contest to search for the most outstanding senior volunteers in each state. The contest was called “Salute to Senior Service” and a total of 1,548 entries were received across the nation. Senior volunteers received over 35,000 comments and postings on the web. Andi McDaniel was the winner for the state of Mississippi. It was our incredible honor to recognize Andi in a formal ceremony at Home Instead Senior Care on May 31st. She was presented with a plaque and was recognized by the media, her community, friends and family. Her award recognition is also featured on www.salutetoseniorservice.com. Andi was nominated by Dianne Guthrie with St. Dominic’s New Direction program. Dianne’s nomination letter read like a long list of a saint’s good deeds. “Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16 comes to mind when meeting Andi. I also believe the post off of www.saluteseniorservice.com by Clinton Mayor Rosemary Aultman puts it best: “Andi is one of those rare people who sees a need and quietly goes about filling it through selfless giving. She mentors children, cares for widows, volunteers at the hospital, and participates in almost every community event.” Among Andi’s dedication of service to
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others, she volunteers one day a week at St. Dominic Hospital. She works with patients and their families. She gives of her time at various health fairs. She works with Mississippi Senior Olympics. She is very committed to Clinton because this is her hometown. She is a member of the Clinton Chamber of Commerce and a member of the board for Main Street Clinton. Andi is a member of the advisory board of Clinton Parks and Recreation Department and is president of Woodmoor Home Owners Association. She worked with the Meals on Wheels program for 10 years. She is also very involved with her church, taking mission trips to Costa Rica and Russia. During the Christmas season you might see her dressed up as Mrs. Claus. Andi helps with the American Lung Association’s Mrs. Claus Has a Cause educational program. On a personal level she began her volunteer work 12 years ago when she retired and after the passing of her beloved husband Roger. She says he had a passion for volunteerism and she wanted to continue to honor his passion. Andi is blessed with seven grandchildren and is very involved in their lives when she is not volunteering. Andi loves when the Lord puts a need in her path, and considers that a blessing. Research has shown that many older adults who volunteer feel a greater sense of purpose and wellbeing. Seniors can experience huge health benefits simply by getting involved. As Christians, we understand this truth on another level that Andi exemplifies. Act 20:35 reads, “In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, it is more blessed to give than to receive.” Y Marla Baker is the Community Service Director for Home Instead Senior Care.
Home Instead Senior Care helps with assistance of activities of daily living such as medication reminders, personal care, meal preparation, light housekeeping, errands, incidental transportation and shopping-which enables seniors to live safely and comfortably in their homes for as long as possible. At Home Instead Senior Care, it’s relationship before task, while continuing to provide superior quality service that enhances the lives of seniors everywhere.
metrochristianliving.com â?˜ JULY 2012 21
➺all in the family by DR. JOHN L. COX
Doin’ Sunday Every Day iddle me this, Batman!! Why is God always renaming people in the bible? You know, he changes Abram’s name to Abraham; Jesus changes Simon’s name to Peter and Saul’s name to Paul. He does
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this because in ancient Hebrew culture, naming someone established your authority over them. It said, “ I’m in charge here.” Interesting stuff I know, but here’s our question for the day: Why does God tell Adam to name the animals after he creates them all? You can guess the answer now—because he wanted Adam to be in authority in Eden. The first commandment in scripture was for mankind to exercise dominion and authority over creation, to be the boss over God’s world (under God of course). Regrettably, we’ve somehow lost this in our contemporary Christian culture. Throughout history (because of Platonic thought, The Enlightenment, etc), Christianity has gotten smaller and smaller. God wanted us to be Christians in everything we did. He wanted us to live out our faith in how we worked in the whole world. But Christianity nowadays has often become just a religion, something to do on Sundays when you go to church. Christianity has become “Sacred,” far removed from the “Secular” world of music and law and medicine and journalism. In fact, some Christians think we SHOULD live that way, retreating to our holy huddle until we go off to be Real Christians in heaven. Simon Stylites was a second century ascetic who lived out the full implications of this distortion. In order to fully avoid anything that remotely smacked of “secular,” he lived the majority of his adult life perched on a series of progressively higher pillars (to get up away from the world) and ate only beans!! Obviously Simon was not a real party animal, but he illustrates the ridiculous nature of trying to avoid the secular world. Martin Luther had a different idea. He called the Christians of his day to become “Profane Christians,” pulling from the latin root word Profanus which means Marketplace. He wanted his fellow Christians to live out their faith in the marketplace. He wanted them to apply their faith to their everyday work, and even to master their craft in honor to God and in fulfillment of the first commandments to name the animals and subdue the earth. John Calvin said once that the profession of the shoemaker was as holy to God as that of a pastor. If something in you resists that concept, then you can see how you have been affected by our contemporary split between the “sacred” things that are “good,” and the “secular” things that are somehow less lofty. Calvin was 22 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
pointing out that God is God of the Whole world, and that he wants us to honor him in our involvement in the Whole world, not just the religious one. So what is the application to us? Begin thinking about your job maybe you’re a homemaker, a pharmacist, a psychologist, a “doctor lawyer Indian chief”...it doesn’t matter—God wants you to be thinking about how you can master that craft under him. Instead of complaining about music, maybe some of us should be wondering how to master music in a way that is honoring to God and influential in our culture (U2 surely has). We can say that many modern movies are deplorable, but where are the Christian movie makers? (and I don’t mean just movies with religious content) A Christian should have made Gladiator, or Braveheart (or Ironman for that matter)!!! Beauty belongs to God, even if we aren’t painting scenes from the bible. Intelligence belongs to God, even if we aren’t writing sermons. And Skill belongs to God, even if we are using it to build bridges....or run races. As Eric Liddell said in Chariots of Fire, “I believe that God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast, and when I run I can feel his pleasure.” What does it look like to be a Christian at a “secular” job? It doesn’t mean that you just hand out tracts at your office or witness to your patients while they are trapped in the dentist chair. It means that we become experts at God’s creation. We become the best dentists and psychologists and homemakers that we can - in service to him. It means that we practice the principles of our work (that God created) in such a way that the “secular” world looks at us and says, “Wow, those Christians are good at what they do”? These thoughts came to me as I reflected on the tenth anniversary of Marilyn’s work in this magazine. Surely she has practiced God’s commandment to “subdue the earth” in the area of journalism. Kudos to her for asking the question “What would it look like for a Christian to enter the journalistic world and master it for her creator and redeemer”. Thank you Marilyn for ten years of witness to all of us in serving God in the real world!! To the rest of us: Get Busy!! Y Dr John L. Cox is a clinical psychologist in practice here in Jackson. He works with adults, marriages and children. You can contact him at 601-352-7398. Visit the webpage for Dr. Cox’s upcoming book at www.thebigpictureparent.com
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➺a view from you Comments this month from our website www.metrochristianliving.com Congrats on 10 years! I miss being your “Girl Friday” and “little assistant! – Jessica Highfill Anderson
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– Robert C. (Ric) Cannada, Jr., Chancellor Emeritus, Reformed Theological Seminary
Thanks so much, Marilyn, for your outstanding Christian journalism and your inspiration to me and to thousands of people. I congratulate you on this milestone anniversary and I wish you many more anniversaries in your ministry through Metro Christian Living! God bless you! – Sister M Dorothea Sondgeroth
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Many thanks for doing the article about Ye Olde Lamp Design and Shades. You are truly a pro! So much of Marilyn is evident in your work. You and Metro Christian Living are such a blessing to Jackson, especially the Fondren area. May God Our Father continue to bless you, Charles, and your family!
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May our Lord continue richly to bless and use you in His service. For a new Reformation now and with the joyful hope of the New Heavens and the New Earth to come Ric.
– Margaret Williams
Dear Janie, Thanks for your good article on “4 Things that Fathers Should Do for Their Children,” reflective of your faithful counseling ministry. Thanks, too, for your leadership and ministry with Richard at Third Mill. You are a blessing to many and I greatly appreciate you.
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Who is your favorite writer? “Robin O’Bryant because she is so funny!” – Lee Einhaus
Marilyn Tinnin is my favorite writer. Her comments as Editor are always the first I look for and read. They’re always wonderful- fresh, insightful, positive, and from the heart. Each month, God gives my heart something special through her writing and that of others you include in your wonderful magazine. If God ever places it on the heart of Marilyn Tinnin to write a devotional, I’ll be one of the first in line for my copy.
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– Helen Thompson
I love this magazine. It is so wonderfully put together. It is inspirational, fun, and informative. I like Marilyn’s editor’s letters and I enjoy the articles on family—one recent article was for Mother’s Day by Dr. John Cox. The staff at MCL is awesome to work with as well. Great job ladies!!
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– Carol Irons
I look forward to getting MCL in the mail every month. My favorite area in the magazine is Marilyn Tinnin’s letter. It is very personal and inspirational. I also like “Salt & Light” and always look forward to the feature story. – Betty Savelle
R I have been reading Metro Christian Living for about 5 years. It is hard for me to get out of the house so my daughter picks one up for me at the grocery store. I love the fact that the magazine has stayed true to God.
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I love the magazine. It’s well done. It’s classy! I especially love the cover stories. Greg Harper was one of my favorites. I just love how he balances his career with family. The thing that amazes me the most is how many people comment on our cover story from November! It’s almost July and people still come up me and say “I saw you story in the MCL magazine.” I was so impressed I became an advertiser myself in 2012. The following of this publication is amazing! – Ed Trim, President & CEO Pennington & Trim
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➺this is my story by MARILYN TINNIN
26 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Happy Birthday Metro Christian Living
am not sure what I was thinking or not thinking when I launched my publishing career—especially considering how absolutely uncredentialed I was. I did take one journalism course as an elective in summer school back in 1969 and even had a few stories appear in the Daily Mississippian, but I do not recall my professor being particularly impressed with my ability. In 2002, I was a middle aged ex-soccer mom who had far more in common with Lucille Ball than Mother Teresa. By that time, I had muddled my way through marriage, motherhood, and most every important milestone in life. But when I came to the grim reality of the “empty nest,” I was slightly lost. I had never considered what life would look like when my children were gone. All I had ever really wanted to do or be involved motherhood. And here I was—obsolete and unemployed at age 50. This was the stuff of mid-life crisis, I suppose. My friend, Dr. John Oswalt, formerly a professor at Wesley Biblical Seminary, preached a most memorable sermon once, and the following words seared themselves on my heart. “God never wastes anything in our lives.” That is the best way I can possibly explain my publishing career. The first seeds for this project were born when I was a little girl growing up in the Mississippi Delta. My mother was a string reporter for several newspapers. Of course, computers, fax machines, and e-mail had not been invented. So the scene at our house night after night went something like this. Mama would dash into the house about 5:00, steno pad in hand, sit down at her old manual Smith-Corona and commence typing at the
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speed of light. Wild horses or a freight train could have come through the room, and I doubt she would have looked up. There was no family dinner hour at the Hemphill house as the minutes ticked by. My precious daddy managed to locate the cereal. I was in college before I knew that cereal was a breakfast food in most households. At 7:15, my mother would have one of us call the local post office to ask the postmaster to hold the mail truck, and then my proper genteel Southern belle mother would herd us into the family automobile and drive through the dark streets of Indianola like a seasoned Nascar pro. It was all rather frightening to me, and even though we all basked in her reflected glory when her stories ran on the front page of the second section in the next morning’s Commercial Appeal or The Clarion-Ledger, I had absolutely no desire to follow in her footsteps—at least not for the next 40 years. I may have thought that my original decision not to pursue journalism was due to the “post traumatic stress syndrome” of crazed dashes to the post office at bedtime or, for the lack of a babysitter, the frequent trips I was forced to make with Mama as she traveled all over the dusty Delta gathering her stories. But really, it was all about God’s timing, and late was going to be better than early in this adventure. To launch a magazine that inspires and encourages and presents an authentic relationship with Jesus Christ—well, how could I do that until I had lived through a few large slices of real life—which does tend to be messy, frequently disappointing, and rarely perfect. I am certainly the poster child for all of the above. The words of Ecclesiastes 3 are every bit as true today as they were in King Solomon’s day. “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” The empty nest that seemed like the end of my world was the launching pad for the calling I think God envisioned all along. I still marvel that I jumped into this adventure with both feet—a lot of enthusiasm—and absolutely no earthly idea about selling advertising, meeting deadlines, and distributing the product. Oh—and did I mention that I don’t do math? Fortunately, at the time I was married to a genius guru of banking and bookkeeping and numbers. I would never have made it without his help in that department. My first magazine, Jackson Christian Family made its debut in July, 2002, and I loaded up the trunk of my car with those first 10,000 magazines and literally went door to door asking physician’s offices, bookstores, health clubs, and other high traffic places if I could please leave a few free magazines. I think the temperature was about 100 degrees plus. Sweating is probably my least favorite activity in the whole world, but I did a lot of it! Funny how you can do out-of-character things when you are passionate about the purpose—kind of like giving birth a second time despite the eternal morning sickness and unpleasantries of labor and delivery. In the beginning, I was an affiliate of a Birmingham publication, a relationship that came about through a Christian writer’s conference I attended the year before. Three years into publishing, I decided to become independent as my parent organization had begun to franchise and I did not want to conform. It was actually Sandra Goff, our art director and graphic designer, who came up with the name Metro Christian Living. We had become so much bigger than just a Jackson magazine, and even though I wasn’t sure at the time just how far and wide I wanted to expand, I agreed with Sandra that “metro” was generic enough to not limit us and the “living” part was broad enough to allow for just about any editorial matter! I loved the idea, too, that the word “Christian” would now be the focal point of the logo. I guess I never have been extremely
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concerned about political correctness! It was John Lennon who said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Life is what happens while youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re making other plans.â&#x20AC;? In the middle of planning my new magazine, I ran head-on into that reality. As I was going solo in business, I was also going solo in life for the first time as my thirty four year marriage ended. And then there was the inconvenient diagnosis of breast cancer. What I remember most about those days in the summer of 2006, however, is Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s provision at every juncture. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.â&#x20AC;? Yes. Yes. Yes. I saw His grace every day in every way. Even though I was incredibly afraidâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;of everything happening around meâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the illness, the financial uncertainties, and more than a few nightmares with a horrible insurance company who did not intend to cover my gargantuan medical bills. There was nothing brave inside of me, but Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s faithfulness wasâ&#x20AC;Śwhat else but faithful. I think, more than any other time in my life, the person of Jesus, moved from the pages of my bible and the lyrics of favorite hymns, right into the middle of my heart. Metro Christian Livingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first issue appeared in June 2006 with Mr. Howard Miskelly and his three sons on the cover. By that time, our circulation had more than doubled, and I had finally been able to hire several people to help with the distribution. Oh Happy Day! From the very beginning the very best part of creating this publication has been getting to meet people. Everyone has a life story, and everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s faith journey is unique. But although the victories as well as the bumps in the road differ from story to story, it has been incredibly affirming for me in my personal faith to hear again and again of Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s faithfulness and His certain presence in every situation. Some of our covers have been high profile; some have been salt-of-the-earth regular peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and though the backgrounds have been diverse, the circumstances and defining moments completely different, the constant theme has been Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sufficiency in each and every situation constantly demonstrating that God is God and his Word is true. The Bible says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Behold, I have graven you on the palms of my hands;â&#x20AC;? (Isaiah 49:16) or â&#x20AC;&#x153;Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.â&#x20AC;? (Luke 12:7). As I have heard real stories over the years, I read these verses with fresh eyes and ears because these life experiences people share with us testify to the truth of such passages. We are a beloved peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;loved by God, our Father. And when I mention the blessing of meeting people, I include the friendships that have come through our loyal advertisers. You just cannot imagine the terror it used to strike in my soul to sell ANYTHINGâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Girl Scout cookies included. Selling advertising for Metro Christian Living, however, has been different. I so believe in the power of our message and moreover in the power behind our message that it has been a challenge that has been a joy to embrace. And the relationships God has brought with these who have supported this magazine have truly been the icing on the cake or the cup overflowing! And speaking of relationships with advertisersâ&#x20AC;ŚCharles Tinnin came by to sign an advertising contract and ended up with a wife! I can completely understand what Paul meant when he penned in the first chapter of his letter to the Philippians, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy for your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.â&#x20AC;? Y
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Treasures in Earthen Vessels Ten Years of Telling Your Stories
– 2 Corinthians 4:7
…And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10. Come with Metro Christian Living as we catch up with a few of our cover stories from years past. The foundation of faith in Christ that drives these individuals keeps their circle of influence wide and their sense of purpose forever fresh and tuned in to whatever opportunities God brings their way. This is successful living at its best.
LAURIE SMITH
April 2004 “Life by God’s Design” and April 2007 “Trading Places” The first time I interviewed FREE Laurie, she was 32 years old and doing an amazing balancing act juggling marriage, motherhood, and a celebrity career as one of the designers on the wildly popular Trading Spaces. With a very supportive husband and lots of family close by, Laurie kept up that pace for Easter Bunnies and the several years and handled it all with Empty Tomb Confessions grace. Transformation of a Homeschooler JACKSON The second time we visited was three years later soon after she and husband Brad had made a joint decision that it was just time to embark on a new season of life—one that was more settled. She had just walked away from the television show. She had just finished a demanding year of travel as one of the speakers with Women of Faith; she had written a successful decorating book, Discovering Home; she had completed a lengthy renovation on her family’s home and she had recently given birth to baby girl, India. She was officially retired from the fast track of the previous years and so looking forward to the everyday life of taking care of her husband and children. Five years have passed, and Laurie has yet to miss the old life. She is completely engaged in the moment cherishing the milestones with her family. Laurie’s days involve volunteering at St. Andrews Episcopal School where Gibson (9) is in the fourth grade and India (5) is in kindergarten. She and husband Brad are in their Gibson India fifth year of team teaching the APRIL 2007
32 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
“Thirty Something Couples Class” at Northminster Baptist Church. Laurie’s enthusiasm for that activity is notable. It keeps her in the Word. She also speaks “infrequently” at design conferences and does a little promo work for Quoizel, a lighting design company based in New York. On the back burner, but something she intends to do before too long is write a book with a Christian message for teenage girls.
BOO FERRISS
June 2005 “Beyond the Ballpark” I called “Coach” one afternoon in late May. Silly me. Delta State was playing in the NCAA South Regional Tournament, and I could hear the radio blaring. I offered to call back later and “Coach” graciously said, “No. We better talk now because the telephone is always ringing and things can get so busy around here.” At 90, Boo Ferriss is in no way ready for the rocking chair. He says he goes wherever he wants to go—“just not as fast as I used to.” Coach Ferriss, a legendary former pitcher and pitching coach for the Boston Red Sox and much beloved athletic director and baseball coach at Delta State, still gets a hand full of fan mail every week and still sits down and writes a gracious personal note in long hand to every person. The letters come from all over the country and from young and old alike—friends, fans, and former players he coached. Boo Ferriss has touched the lives of many in significant ways. As Mike Kinnison, his former player who now wears the title of “Coach” on the DSU diamond, said, “The Boo Ferriss influence is a lifelong thing.” Coach Ferriss stays in touch with 99% of the more than 500 men who played baseball for him during his years at DSU. He and Miriam celebrate 64 years of marriage this year. As I reread the story we wrote back in 2005, I was reminded of the first question Coach Ferriss asked his fiancé after she accepted his marriage proposal. “I tithe. Is that going to be a problem?” They are active in their Covenant Presbyterian Church in Cleveland, enjoy working in their yard, going to the gym to work out several times a week, and continue to be actively involved in Delta State University. With children, grandchildren, and three great granddaughters spread out from Nashville to Jackson, there is a good bit of visiting back and forth. Family brings much joy! He chuckles at the question, “What is the secret to your health and quality of life?” Never one to praise himself, he says, “It’s the Lord. The Lord has just blessed us.”
SISTER DOROTHEA SONDGEROTH
February 2009 “Loving Every Moment” Sister was in her fifteenth year as President and Chairman of the Board of St. Dominic Health Services when I first interviewed her in 2009. I came away in awe of her talents, her business savvy, her energy and leadership ability. But it was her warmth and gracious spirit that inspired me most. “Genuine.” That is truly what she is—a lover of her Lord and a lover of others. In January, 2012, Sister Dorothea LOVE AT FIRST BITE stepped down as President and What Fills Your Chairman on the Board, but she is Heart? certainly not retired. She will be back Worry In the Workforce in the fall in a new role. Meanwhile she has been enjoying a sabbatical which she describes as “affording much time for reflection, rest, relaxation, travel and time with family.” (Sister is one of 12 siblings…so it takes a while to get around!) “When I return to St. Dominic Health Services this fall, I will be privileged and happy to serve in the role of Assistant Director of St. Dominic Health Services Foundation. I know I will ‘hit the ground running’ and will work with Jim Jeter, Director of the SDHS Foundation.” If I could choose a spiritual mentor, I believe it would be Sister. I asked her to give us her three best bits of advice on the art of joyful living. She graciously gave the following: “First, stay grounded in prayer and reflection and keep God first; for without spiritual grounding life gets out of focus, gets chaotic and our appreciation of beauty is diminished. Second, cherish the moment and take time to ‘smell the roses;’ take time for yourself, your family and friends. Balance your life activities and practice healthy living habits for spiritual, physical and emotional health that include proper rest, exercise, and nutrition. Third, accentuate the positive; have a positive attitude at home, at work and remember to put others first, whether that be family, friends, or community.”
HOWARD MISKELLY
June 2006 “A Father’s Blessing” I call him Mr. Howard, and from the first “hello” back in 2006, I knew we would be friends for life. He was 81, the patriarch of the familiar Miskelly name, father of the three RESPONDS sons who run the Miskelly stores, a veteran who is a member of “the greatest generation,” and a person who will just never be “old” no matter how many candles sit atop his birthday cake. Six years have passed, and he still possesses an obvious enthusiasm for life. Ann Miskelly, his wife and soul mate of 68 years commented at the first interview that one thing that attracted her to Howard in the beginning was his love for and interest in other people. That has not changed. What keeps him busy today, he says, is sharing Jesus with others, being a part of the First Baptist Church of Okolona, and loving all people. He recently sent me a booklet he had compiled called “Inspirational Thoughts Collected by Howard Miskelly.” It is packed with short bursts of wisdom and it is easy to get a glimpse of his heart and soul and philosophy of life by reading through it. For example, “The world rewards success; God rewards faithfulness.” “To know love, open your heart to Jesus; to show love, open your heart to others.” Oh—and he is not without humor. “If you think you know everything…you have a lot to learn.” The secret to his young heart? Sharing and being a part of community. His best advice for a young person today, whether in business or in personal relationships is to “help and love others by giving them time, thought, and kind words. His personal mission statement is “I will strive to please Jesus in all that I do.” EDITOR
TO GANNETT GOLIATH TACTIC page 26
HOWARD MISKELLY
LISA CRONK MINISTRIES page 15
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CYNTHIA GOODLOE PALMER
August 2010 “With a Song in Her Heart” Cynthia has always been one to multitask with grace. She is a renowned talent in the gospel world, traveling all over the world to sing in church services, concerts, and crusades. She has just completed her fifth album called The Best of Cynthia Goodloe Palmer: The Ultimate Collection. It is scheduled for release on July 30 and features 12 songs from her previous recordings as well as four sing-a-long tracks of her most popular songs. Her calendar is filled well into 2013 with engagements in Oakland, Ontario, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Gatlinburg, Huntsville, and Columbus, Ohio. She has also been invited back to London and Trinidad. A prima donna, she is not—and never has been. Cynthia is still giving of her time and her incredible organizational ability on behalf of several causes. She is preparing for Canton Gospel Music Association’s ninth annual celebration and scholarship awards event on August 26. This is Cynthia’s passion and her pet project. To date the association has awarded scholarships to 63 children since 2006 and they have encouraged outstanding high school seniors who excel in music to further their musical careers. Cynthia is especially proud of one of their scholarship winners who was able to attend BET television’s “Sunday’s Best Competition” and was one of 20 singers selected from a field of 15,000 to compete on BET national TV beginning July 7. A girl of many talents, Cynthia continues to serve on the Board of Directors of the Mississippi Opera. She also recently served as Operations Director for the 50th anniversary of the Return of the Freedom Riders. When we featured Cynthia on the cover in 2010, she was working part time with the Veterans of the Civil Rights Movement. She is now serving as Executive Director of that organization. Cynthia was the first African American to be voted “Miss Callaway High School” back in 1977. She has stayed in touch with her high school friends and her alma mater. This summer she has agreed to coordinate the class reunion, no small feat considering there were several hundred in her graduating class. Cynthia says, “God continues to reassure me that in my insecurities, He is still in control. I simply need to listen to his still small voice and be obedient. God continues to amaze me at the new people he has put in my path that are kingdom minded. I also realize more and more that I don’t need to compromise my principles. In my sad times as I mourn the recent passing of my father, grandmother, grandfather and uncle (four of the most important people in my life), He is ever so near to take the hurt away and to let me know that He still loves me and has a plan for my life. God is not through with me. Every day I am determined to be a blessing to everyone I meet.”
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BRAD MCMULLAN
August 2009 “Following His Ways” Brad McMullan was the familiar morning anchor at WAPT in 2009. An Oklahoma native, he had really stumbled into broadcast by accident when a college elective landed him an internship with a local station in Oklahoma City. With a few awards under his belt, a young family, and a bright future, it seemed likely that his career path was set in stone. He and friend, Dr. Philip Chustz, had started a company, Buy from a Christian, back in 2007. (BFAC.com) It is a Christian e-commerce and technology company that was established to help churches and non-profit organizations. Some have compared it to a Christian E-bay of FREE sorts. They took no salary, and the business model was entirely intended to help these entities raise money for free. The online community that was just a sideline for the pair succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. At the end of 2009 MCL reported, “Brad does not look too far into the future. He is definitely a “Give us this day our daily bread” kind of guy. In 2010 God began to nudge Brad toward expanding BFAC and taking this “sideline” to a whole new level. “God called me to step out of the boat and my comfort zone,” he says. “For years, I just put my hand in the water and in the summer of 2010, I decided to trust God and step out on faith.” Brad resigned his “safe” job at WAPT. “It wasn’t easy to leave because I loved my job, but it was the right move in God’s plan. Who would have thought two years ago that bfac.com would be a technology leader for business texting and mobile apps? Only God!” The Chamber of Commerce named Brad “Executive of the Year” for 2011. BFAC’s website is certainly worth a look. The testimony of God’s blessing and BFAC’s commitment to faithful stewardship is everywhere evident as they close their page of “about us” with this statement: “It is our prayer that God will use this website to help change lives and equip ministries.” Brad and Stephanie, who celebrate 11 years of marriage this summer, welcomed Ragan Michael, their third son in January of this year. Life is busy and blessed in the McMullan household. AUGUST 2009
PHIL & DEBORAH BRYANT
SYLVESTER CROOM
August 2005 “How Firm a Foundation” and September 2008 “A Common Goal” Sylvester Croom, the 2007 SEC Coach of the Year, led the MSU Bulldogs football team from 2004FREE 2008. He was one of my all time favorite interviews. In that first interview he talked a lot about what he valued in life. His admiration for his own father was evident as he frequently said, “Daddy taught me…” He also explained that 15 TEAM NO GREEN moment when he accepted Christ FUSS MEALS this way. “I saw what it meant through my father. I knew how much he loved and cared for us. When I learned that Christ loved me and died for me on the cross, I thought if there was any possible way He could love me more than my dad did—that was pretty strong.” As a college coach, Sylvester Croom never lost sight of the “C” word—character. It mattered to him, and he looked at it as a stewardship question. If he had been entrusted with the lives, the talents, and the college careers of his players, his duties involved more than the gridiron. He really cared about their development as men and the habits that would affect their lives long after college football. Despite the often brutal and fickle components that are part and parcel of a head coaching job, Sylvester Croom’s consistency and integrity caused even disgruntled alumni to respect him. Today he and Jeri, his wife of 40 years split their time between Mobile where their daughter and her family live and Jacksonville where Sylvester is coaching the running backs for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Life is good. He says that he has the best of both worlds at the moment. Coaching in the pros involves a higher degree of focus on the game. “Our players are grown men and so we don’t get too involved in their personal lives unless we are invited.” However, he adds—since the Jaguars are a young team, there is a greater degree of the “being invited” than there might be ordinarily. He calls the team a “refreshing group of responsible young men who are so teachable and who have a lot of character.” When Coach is not thinking football, he loves the time with his nine year old granddaughter, Ryan, whom he still claims to be very good at “spoiling.” SEPTEMBER 2008
SYLVESTER CROOM
LARRY FEDORA
HOUSTON NUTT
RICK COMEGY
August 2008 “What Matters Most” In 2008 when we featured the Bryant’s, Phil was Mississippi’s very approachable lieutenant governor. Described then by a particular legislator as a “what-you-see-is-what-you-get sort of person,” the label still fits even though Mississippians promoted him to governor status in the November 2011 elections. His background as the son of a diesel mechanic and his checkered career resume from a first job in a tire store to deputy sheriff, state auditor, lieutenant governor and finally governor explain, in large part, why he is so in touch with the average man on the street. Add to the background the component of his faith, his commitment to his family, and you pretty much have a portrait FREE of our governor. His biggest adjustment in his new role has been “moving away from our home of 27 years.” Even with the The Great move into the stately mansion on Marriage Issue Capitol Street, the Bryant’s’ haven’t altered too many things about their “normal” family life. They still attend 27 DRESSES St. Marks United Methodist Church AND COUNTING in Brandon. Deborah says Phil’s work ethic is the same as it has always been. He has tremendous energy and he never stops. Transformation Jackson Weekend Family remains a priority with meals and weekend visits scheduled along with everything else. It’s not unusual for the governor to “throw something on the grill” at night or on weekends. Daughter Katie, an attorney, married in April, and son-in-law Stephen has been added to the family mix. Son, Patrick moved into the mansion with his parents and chocolate lab Maddie, who has adjusted well to chasing the “million” squirrels around the new Capitol. The entire family is planning a summer get away which will be the first family vacation in several years. First lady Deborah has had her adjustments, too. She retired from her full time job as Medical Staff Quality Review Coordinator at St. Dominic, a job she dearly loved as a calling because it put her in front of families during critical moments and she had the opportunity one on one to help and to show concern. She still works at St. Dominic two days a week, and on her “off days” she is in full time mode as First Lady. She is working hard, but says, “It’s just not your typical ‘sitting at a desk job!” Her easy-going “people” personality comes across everywhere she goes. Deborah admits that she had a few inner struggles with “insecurities” at the mere thought of her role as First Lady until it hit her this was a door God had opened and her job was to pray, to listen, and to hopefully do whatever God put her in this role to do. “I have chosen to embrace this and to do the very best I can in the short time I have to do it!” AUGUST 2008
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JAMES GRAVES, JR.
September 2006 “The Renaissance Man” Sometimes we select a cover story based on someone else’s recommendation. In those times, I just know without knowing much at all that—yes—that sounds like a story I would want to do. Judge Graves was one of those. It was actually my friend, Donna Ladd of the Jackson Free Press, who told me I would really love meeting him and he would fit in MCL perfectly. Donna and I do not share the same views on many things, but we do like and respect each other. So I had no doubt, based on Donna’s recommendation, that Hurry-Up Dinners Judge Graves was going to be a great from Metro Moms MANAGING YOUR STRESS interview. And he was. He was, at the A Lesson on Sunday School time, a Mississippi Supreme Court Justice. The title “Renaissance Man” fit him to a “T.” He is a committed family man, the father of three sons. His awards and professional accolades are many, and did I mention that he is just physically very tall and quite an imposing figure. He has a passion for speaking to school age children and inspiring them to master the English language, to be diligent in their reading and writing. He is a brilliant scholar and as down to earth as your best friend. He also loves to cook. He loves to kick back, get his family together, get in the kitchen and create his own cuisine. We even published a few of his recipes in that cover story. The thing I loved most about that first interview was the way he talked about his childhood, his relationship with his parents and his siblings, and how foundational all of that was in forming his character, his values, and his faith. His dad worked two jobs to support a family of six children, but he was a master at good fathering and was intentional in the way he inspired his children to excellence. Today Judge Graves sits on the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals. He was appointed in February, 2011 by President Obama. He is as approachable today as he was six years ago. The major change in his household these days is that he is now a grandfather! His youngest son started law school at Ole Miss in the fall of 2009, and his wife and daughter stayed in Jackson to live with the Judge and Betty. Judge says, “Grandchildren change your life. It’s wonderful.” I think he really likes the “girl” thing after being the dad of three boys! All three sons have followed in their dad’s steps choosing the legal profession. One son is presently clerking for a federal district judge in Tennessee; one is married and is an associate at Wise Carter Child and
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Carraway PA, a local firm, and Jeffrey, the youngest completed law school at Ole Miss this spring. Cooking continues to be “therapeutic,” and Judge says, “Meals are a good way to bring a family together.” He confesses he is developing quick recipes that he can make after work! And finally, I asked him what God is impressing on him in this season of life. He says, “…to cherish family and friends. As you realize that you’re getting older, you realize the importance of spending time with people who really matter; those you care about and those who
COACH DAVID CUTCLIFFE
April 2004 “Faith and Family First” Coach Cutcliffe held the head football coaching position at Ole Miss from 1998 through the 2004 season. Prior to the stint at Ole Miss, he had been the offensive coordinator at the University of Tennessee. If you know your SEC football, you know that he had the opportunity to coach the two famous quarterback brothers with Mississippi connections—Peyton Manning and his baby brother Eli. At the end of Coach’s seventh season at Ole Miss—his only losing season—he suffered the frequent fate of college coaches. He was fired. One thing about Cutcliffe that even fickle fans agree on -he is a class act, a man of faith, character, and integrity. I could not help asking him how he has stayed grounded and managed not to be bitter in a profession that dictates his future by so many factors completely beyond his control. He said, “We (meaning he and Karen, his wife, partner and soul mate) have had our moments of being bitter; we have avoided self-pity at all cost. In the end, we have always managed to let go of any anger and we celebrate all of our many blessings. We are very fortunate to have met and worked with so many great people through our football life. We cherish our relationships and time spent everywhere we have gone!” Today David is head coach at Duke University and very attached to the school, the town of Durham, and the life he is living in the moment. He and Karen still enjoy the company of their “bonus baby,” Emily who is now 11 years old and is an honor student at Durham Academy.
The big kids, who were just teenagers in 2004, are all graduated and settled in careers. Chris, their first-born is a math teacher and football coach at Oxford High School. He and his wife, Molly, are the parents of the Cutcliffe’s first grandchild, Shivers, who turned one on June 10. Daughter Katie just completed her master’s degree in education from the University of Tennessee, and adopted son, Marcus who was not even in the family back in 2004 is also a University of Tennessee graduate who works in the Duke Athletic Administration with David. “Our children and family time are our world,” David says. “Our moms and siblings are always a part of our free time.” David is one of six children. He lost a brother and his father while he was very young, and he has never for one second taken the gift of family for granted. As for Karen, David says, “Karen is prettier than ever and continues to lead our family with grace unparalleled.” Don’t you just love happy endings?
BILL AND PATTI BUCKNER
July 2002 “Bill Buckner’s Family Story” and December 2010 “Trusting God in the Tough Stuff” Bill and Patti Buckner have been inspiring me since the 1980’s. They were the very first cover when I rolled out my first publication in FREE 2002. One thing I have always appreciated about both of them is their willingness to be real, to share their struggles right along with their faith. In that first story, Bill shared the story of a painful divorce and his difficulty in getting past all the issues of a failed marriage. In the second story, eight years later, Bill and Patti shared the story of their “blending” Christmas HOLIDAY EVENT 12 TIPS families and the challenges that came CALENDAR Gift Guide with that. They had been through a restructuring event with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) where Bill has worked for twenty plus years and had spent several weeks wondering if Bill was even going to have a job. Just about the time they were dealing with that anxiety, Bill was diagnosed with Lymphocytic Leukemia. For three years Bill managed to control the disease without any
DECEMBER 2010
to Avoid Aches and Pains
special treatments. All of that changed in 2010 when he had to undergo a regimen of chemotherapy. He completed that and enjoyed months of being declared “in remission.” However, the cancer returned in 2011 and he has recently completed six months of “aggressive” treatment that has left his immune system weakened. In his third week of pneumonia Patti says, “It has been hard for me to see him so sick,” but she also explains the blessing of experiencing God’s presence in the middle of every hard day. She has a new appreciation and understanding of 2 Corinthians 5:7 which speaks of walking by faith, not by sight. She clings to Lamentations 3:23 and knows from personal experience how absolutely true it is. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness. In spite of years and years of studying God’s word, leading others to Christ, and watching God do amazing things through the FCA ministry, Bill has learned fresh and new things about God through this affliction. This year he is using the Tyndale one year study Bible (New Living translation) in his devotions and says the discipline of reading every day in both the Old and New Testament and Psalms and Proverbs has had a great effect on his perspective as he lives in the moment, one day at a time. He is intentional in his study to ask the question, “How does this apply to Bill? How can I walk this out in my life” and he has come to a greater understanding of surrender to God’s will and to a more personal experience of how the power of the Holy Spirit works in and through him. Ministry is never a piece of cake. It can be a daunting endeavor where Satan tries to discourage and the world tries to distract. FCA continues to impact lives as it maintains a consistent focus on honoring Christ above everything else. The business end like fundraising and hiring staff continues, but even cancer has not been able to dim Bill’s passion for the ministry. There are now 26 staff members leading FCA on secondary school and college campuses around the state. Bill derives great pleasure from watching the enthusiasm of the young men and women who have recently come on board. He is in the season of passing the torch to the next generation. Even so, he is as excited about getting up and going to work each day as he was twenty five years ago. “It has been awesome to pray “Thy kingdom come in me today as I allow Christ, through his spirit to live in me and to do this ministry. I’m grateful to have this perspective at this particular time and so grateful that God would let me live that out for whatever period of time I have.”
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A Decade of Memories O
ver the past several weeks we have asked some of our regular contributors to share their reflections. We asked them to consider these questions: How did you begin writing regularly for MCL? What was going in your life then and what is going on today? Do you have any funny stories from readers who read your articles? What has the magazine meant to your life and ministry? Take a peek at their answers!
ANDY WIMBERLY
“The Think Tank” (2010 to present) A few years ago I wrote an article entitled, “Unslumping yourself is not easily done.” I was motivated to write this article first by reading the book by Dr. Seuss, Oh the Places You’ll Go! And then watching my friend and pastor Frank Pollard quote the entire 1,000 word book from memory. He used this book as his sermon many times, without notes (that’s right – without notes) I tried memorizing the same book, couldn’t get past the first page. This wonderful little book sums up life just about perfectly when it says: “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. “You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day. You’ll be leading the pack, be ahead of the gang, be as famous, as famous as can be, with everyone watching you win on TV; except when you don’t because sometimes you won’t.” Then you’ll hit the ground with a big ole bump and you find yourself in a great big slump. And once in your slump you will find, “THAT UMSLUMPING YOURSELF IS NOT EASILY DONE”. Grab a copy of this book and read it for yourself-it’s well worth the time. Not long after writing that article, I was taking a spin bicycle class at the Courthouse on a Saturday morning. The spin instructor came over prior to the class starting and she said to me, “Andy, I’ve been in a slump for some time now, and your article was just what I needed to start my turnaround. Thank you.” That felt really good. I saw her again recently, and she yelled across the room, “I am starting to slump again. I need another article Andy, get back to work.” Thank you Metro Christian Living magazine and Marilyn for giving me the freedom to write what’s on my mind and heart. Even though I am still a spiritual rookie who has miles to go in my journey, God, as well as this writing process, has changed my relationships with my family, my friends, at work and most importantly with our LORD. Thank You.
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Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, things you are, the things you never want to lose...Kevin Arnold
BETSY SMITH BAILEY
“Single Still – Single Again” columnist (2007 to 2011) Ten years ago I was finishing my master’s degree at the University of Alabama. (I also think I was 23, a size two and had brown hair). Occupation: Professional Sitter which included kids and/or pets. I was a single girl with two Labrador Retrievers who received monthly checks for food and board from my fabulous father. I dreamed of a Prince Charming, but was having ZERO luck. Actually, I dated someone else’s prince (great guys but not for me kind of princes—not other people’s boyfriends). And let’s face it, I dated my share of frogs. I didn’t know when I’d find my mate, but I was sure I’d never go back to Mississippi. Fast forward ten years and I’m not a size two. Lol. I have a job I never dreamed in a million years I would have, I live in Mississippi, I have three dogs, and I’m married to my best friend who is—while I write this—cooking me eggs and pancakes (and I wonder why I don’t have my 23 year old figure) and making me coffee and unloading the dishwasher. And it’s not even my birthday. He truly is a Prince Charming and every day I feel like a princess. If you used to read my “Single Still, Single Again” column, you probably know how we met. God took a painful experience in my life and turned it into an opportunity to meet my husband. Who knew He had that up his sleeve when my mom married Charles. Not only did I get a great stepfather, but I got three lovely sisters, and through Jill’s relationship with her husband, I met mine. Jason and I are different. He is very neat and “intellectual.” I sometimes pretend to know half of what he is telling me. I love Lifetime and reality TV—I never knew such a thing as the History or Discovery channel existed. I do now! Some days I may wear two different socks or something inside out- by accident, of course. Jason keeps his socks together with sock clips so he doesn’t have that problem. When we first got married, he taught me what all those plastic things in the dishwasher are for. All these years I thought they were just decoration and you just put dishes in there until no more could fit. He loves me for some of the things that would probably drive someone else off a bluff- and vice versa. Sometimes blessings come from raindrops and so embrace what you are going through right now because who knows what God has planned and where you will be in 10 years. Romans 8:28 is still true. Happy Anniversary to MCL. We have so much to be thankful for and God has blessed us over the last 10 years
ANNE T. BUCK
“Let's Get Real” (2002 to 2008)
Ten years ago Marilyn Tinnin published my first attempt at an essay in the premiere issue of her magazine. “A Father’s Voice” was my title, inspired by the final hours I spent with my dad before he died. In June of 2007 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, nine centimeters of ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS), a malignancy contained in the milk ducts. I was told I was extremely lucky, and other than removal of the breast, I needed no further treatment. Each routine follow-up CT scan revealed a slightly enlarged lymph node, but from one scan to another it did not increase in size. Because of my original diagnosis of DCIS and “no sentinel node involvement,” my oncologist was not very concerned and suggested we keep an eye on the node. In June of 2009, it was time for another appointment to discuss my latest routine scan. In the past I went alone, but my husband decided to accompany me on this visit. Once again that same suspicious lymph node was unchanged, and once again my genuinely caring doctor said he would keep an eye on things until the next scheduled scan. “Cancer grows and this node is not growing,” he said. He also reminded me of the original pathology report, which stated “no micro-invasion.” As I thanked him and prepared to leave, my husband suggested we biopsy the node. A few days later I learned I had at least six tumors in my liver. Many lymph nodes in my arm, neck and sub-clavicle area also tested positive for cancer. In my arm alone, 17 of 21 tested positive. I whispered to my doctor’s assistant, “What stage am I?” She wrote “Stage IV” on a small piece of paper and gently placed it beside me while the doctor spoke. For two years I had been a patient there. I felt my doctor and his staff probably knew I worked at a well-known Christian ministry in our city. I had mentioned my faith before, and at every routine visit I wanted the Lord to shine through me, in case my doctor and others there with whom I interacted were not Christ-followers. I especially wanted to be Jesus to my oncologist in whatever way I could during our brief visits together. During this “stage IV” visit, things were no different. As a Christian, especially one who once helped launch a Christian magazine in our town, I felt I was still called to walk in love, to be salt and light, and to continue to represent Christ and his Church well. After I read “Stage IV” I recalled all the times my doctor said, “we’ll keep an eye on this” while tumor cells were scattering. But as quickly as that thought surfaced, I retrieved scriptures on forgiveness. By the loving
power and grace of God, I still held his eternity and my Jesus in my mind’s eye. I gave him a reassuring “I’m okay” smile. There were no tears, no angry “How could you let this happen to me?” and no pointing the finger at him. I wondered if he feared a lawsuit. “If I were to sue,” I thought, “all my efforts would have been in vain.” Instead of love, he might see punishment. I had to choose between money and love, money and my witness, earthly gain and heavenly gain. What would my doctor, or the administrators of his clinic, or their lawyers, think of Jesus? Of the Bible? Of Christians in general, especially those with whom I work? What would they think of my co-workers, or the faculty and students there? I just could not bring myself to do it. In August of 2009 MD Anderson Cancer Clinic in Houston, TX accepted my medical case. It is now June of 2012 and three years into my Stage IV diagnosis I am in remission. After just six months under their care, I had 100 percent shrinkage. Now, in regard to the dramatic tumor response, I would be remiss if I did not mention one very important detail! I wanted to increase my chance of survival and prevent collateral chemo damage, so I also turned into a radical “health nut.” After the chemo dripped into my port, I went home and juiced, made green smoothies and ate raw salads. I sipped healing teas, took probiotics, gave up processed, fake foods, and only allowed into my mouth what God created. Quinoa, chia seeds, flax seeds, sprouting, olive oil, gogi berries, miso soup, kale chips and other new-tome foods became part of my daily regimen. I lost 23 pounds, my skin began to glow, and in three years I have rarely been sick. I had to give my oncologist in Houston a list of every odd thing I ate or drank! Our efforts seemed to compliment each other… For years I was in pursuit of a closer relationship with the Lord, but this new journey caused me to long for greater purity in my faith, and in my love toward others. God beckons me to keep my eyes on Him and asks me to keep His words (of which Jesus’ are also written in red!) running through my mind and heart like a cleansing, enriching tickertape. A Father’s Voice… I heard Dad’s in the hospital when he scribbled “I love you” while hooked up to a breathing tube, and I heard God’s in my doctor’s office when his assistant scribbled down “Stage IV.” I thank God for my father, and my Father of fathers! Anne Buck is married to Brent, her husband of 29 years. They have two grown sons, Chris and David. Anne currently serves as Assistant to the Headmaster at Ben Lippen School, a ministry of Columbia International University (CIU) in Columbia, SC. She loves to serve the Lord through writing and speaking. She can be reached at wbbuck@sc.rr.com
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When Kate asked me to write for Metro Christian Living I nearly fainted. I was WELL familiar with the magazine and was so intimidated to think that my thoughts would be viewed along with those that I read so often and admired. Finally the Lord bugged me to do it because I knew that the 15 years of practice should have not only given me experience with problems people deal with, but that even very important, prestigious, people I had seen had some of the same problems. I felt like God was giving me a notch to do ministry. I get feedback that often keeps me encouraged enough to sit down and commit my thoughts to paper (computer) and send them to Marilyn. It has been very encouraging the people that I see in Jackson, Madison, and Ridgeland that not only took time to read my thoughts but comment to me that they had been helpful. Writing has made me think thought what I actually stand for and am willing to put to print. (That is an intimidating thought.) I knew there would be criticism but to this day all notes have been extremely positive. It amazes me when someone is kind enough to take the time to write. God is so amazing to use his people to encourage us through his people. I also enjoy the articles that are in each magazine (except maybe the one by one of my children’s classmate on physical fitness, OUCH that one is just too much for my years old muscles to imagine.) But it too is God glorifying in that our bodies are the temple of God and Marilyn has included that in her thought process. People should know how much thought and energy goes into the production of each magazine. I used to pick it up and flip though it and delight in the articles. Now I KNOW from experience, that each article is heartfelt and requires much trust in God that he will guide what we present to you, hoping that you glorify God more by our words.
LYDIA BOLEN
“Food for Thought” (2009 to present)
I have had the privilege of being the Food Editor for Metro Christian Living for the last three years. I retired from teaching, and my good friend, Marilyn Tinnin, wasted no time in asking me to write the food column for her magazine. I was quite unsure of being “reinvented”, as she called it. I accepted the challenge and got busy. Surely I could do this! I had inherited my love of cooking from my mother, grandmother, and extended family members. I have to admit it was fun unearthing several generations of great recipes. I accumulated my wealth of Southern handwritten recipes and set forth on a rewarding adventure. As I reflect back on the last three years, what a blessing writing this column has been! So many out-of-the-box experiences. I actually had to learn to navigate a computer! Everywhere I go now, I find new friends. They want to stand in the middle of the grocery or a wedding reception and discuss blueberries or breakfast casseroles. I find this exciting! I think, “Who will I cross paths with today?” It is an honor to work with Metro Christian Living and share my recipes each month. My goal is to help our readers make sweet family memories. A great place to start is in the kitchen, “the heartbeat of the home.” My life verse that sits on my kitchen counter reminds me daily... “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of Him that sent me, and to finish His work.” John 4:34
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MARTIN WILLOUGHBY
“The Way I See It” (2007 to present) I was a big fan of magazine, and in early 2007, I talked to Marilyn about an idea that was on my heart about writing a column on faith in the workplace. This was a topic that I had been reading and teaching about, and Marilyn was gracious enough to allow me to write a series of columns on this topic. I really enjoyed the opportunity, and have kept on writing a column ever since. Over time the column has morphed to being a more general look at faith and life. I have come to truly see this as a ministry, and I have been so blessed by the feedback from readers and learning about the interesting ways that God uses the articles. It is humbling each month to try and be still and listen for what I am supposed to say. Writing this column and being a part of the ministry of Metro Christian Living has had a significant impact on my faith walk. I am encouraged each month by the articles from the diverse group of authors and of course Marilyn’s feature articles. It has been great fun getting to know the MCL team and working with them to make the MCL the best it can be!
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SANDRA GOFF
“Art director and graphic designer” (2002 to present) This month when Marilyn said that we were highlighting the last ten years, my first thought was, “Wow! I can’t believe it has been ten years.” She asked me to write a little something about what Metro Christian Living has meant to me the last ten years. Needless to say, I was nervous about attempting to write anything. I’m not great with writing down words, but I sure can spill them out of my mouth easily. I’m going to try and give it a whirl. Where to begin—let me get out my notes. I need all the help I can get these days it seems, between being a single-working mom and raising my 12-year-old who will be turning 13 in August. I need everyone’s notes on raising teenagers, LOL. I love every minute of it. God’s plan to put my son, Parker in my life has been the biggest blessing in my life, besides the Lord and my family. It began in Novrmber 2002 as Jackson Christian Family. Then, in June 2006 it became Metro Christian Living. I remember when Marilyn started MCL. I told her, “Don’t worry. It will be fine.” I reassured her it was the right move for her, and look at it now—beautiful and thriving. Maybe I’m a little prejudiced. In brainstorming with a close friend we came up with Metro Christian Living and what a perfect fit. It’s a magazine name that brings stories of all kinds of people and everyday stories of how they are living their lives. Working with the magazine for the last 10 years has been a truly amazing, delightful, and I feel truly blessed to have been a part of this journey with Marilyn and her staff. It has been a personal accomplishment for me, as I enjoy producing it and being a part of a magazine that people enjoying reading. I hear positive feedback all the time everywhere I go. It has been a joy to work for Marilyn. She trusts me to take care of my end and always lets me know how much she appreciates me. That should be a great example for any business owner—praise your employees. It goes a long way. I personally enjoy reading the cover stories. Marilyn always puts a touch on it that is special no matter the subject. In closing, I just feel so blessed that the Lord led me to Marilyn. It has been I wonderful journey. The saying that comes to me is the Lord opens doors when others are closed. Happy Anniversary Metro Christian Living.
ROBIN O’BRYANT
“Modern Motherhood” (2011 to present)
I was sitting in a doctor’s office in Jackson when I picked up my first copy of Metro Christian Living. It happened to be the local artists’ issue and the bright cover caught my eye. I read the entire magazine from cover to cover and was beyond excited to find an interview with Anita Renfroe, a Christian comedienne who I had just recently discovered online. (Google All The Wrinkled Ladies. You will not be sorry.) I was amazed to find such a cool magazine that incorporated three things that are so important to me: faith, humor and art. I believe I emailed Marilyn from my iPhone as soon as I got to the car. I told her how much I loved MCL and explained what I do. Faith, Funny and Family. I sent three sample columns and was surprised to hear back from Marilyn the same day. She said that my email was an answer to prayer, that she had a hole she needed to fill and asked if she could run one of the samples I sent. And Modern Motherhood was born. After becoming a columnist, I began distributing MCL in the Greenwood area. I loved walking into local stores and hearing, “Oh! We LOVE these!” After my first book (Ketchup is a Vegetable & Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves) was published, I turned over my distribution duties to a friend but continue to write my column and read the magazine cover to cover, every month.
CATHY HAYNIE
“Homeworks” (2002 to present) I began writing for the magazine with its first issue and for Marilyn even before that. At that time, my children were so young. Now, we have two in college and one in high school. Life continues to speed on by. I always love hearing from Marilyn. She is a great motivator and inspires me to live my faith purposefully. I love hearing from readers, whether they email me or speak to me in the grocery store. I recently felt like someone was following me in Wal-Mart and it turns out, she was. She wanted to know if I could give her the ingredients from a recipe I recently published. Readers are a great encouragement and have kept me doing this for such a long time! The column I write has helped me to keep my own focus through busy seasons in life. I’ve had the chance to meet many people just from someone picking up the magazine, and I learn so much from them. It is a joy to know that I’m not the only one always looking for a new way to organize or meet the needs of a busy family. The balance that comes from thoughtful management of our homes and lives really frees us up to minister to others and do the things we want and need to. I’m thankful for the opportunity to write about that as I strive toward it. I also enjoy hearing the stories throughout the magazine of other Believers in our community—what a great encouragement Metro Christian Living is for all of us. Thanks, Marilyn!
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WHEN METRO CHRISTIAN LIVING WAS FOUNDED 10 YEARS AGO, its collateral consisted of little more than a good idea. Publisher Marilyn Tinnin approached Barry Plunkett, who was at that time the marketing director at St. Dominic’s. He immediately saw that the fledgling publication would be a good way to share St. Dominic’s message with the community. St. Dominic’s was the magazine’s first advertiser. Metro Christian Living got even more than it was seeking. Sister Dorothea, former CEO, as the embodiment of the St. Dominic’s mission, provided staff and readers a window into the Dominican community in Jackson, and that relationship has lasted more than a decade. Says Tinnin, “There’s something special about St. Dominic’s.”
The sisters profiled here all share the same passion for nurturing St. Dominic’s mission in Jackson. They are heirs to the legacy of the pioneer Dominican Sisters who arrived in 1946. Seated left to right: Sister Kristin, Sister Celestine, Sister Karina. Standing left to right: Sister Margaret, Sister Thecia, Sister Trinita and Sister Dorothea.
The Sisters of St. Dominic’s by ELIZABETH CONNOR
ould it surprise you that the University of Chicago last year reported that the happiest professionals were those in religious orders? It wasn’t social status or financial compensation, but serving others that made for a happy life. While St. Dominic’s transitions to lay leadership, the sisters continue to compassionately serve in a variety of roles in the organization. “St. Dominic’s mission, vision, and values are vibrant and have been integrated throughout the organization so I am confident St. Dominic’s will continue to live out the Dominican Sisters’ mission of Christian healing and the exceptional level of care our patients have come to expect,” says Sister Dorothea.
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Sister Dorothea Sister Mary Dorothea Sondgeroth, OP, (Order of Preachers) was not among the pioneer Dominican Sisters who migrated from Springfield, Illinois, to establish the legacy of St. Dominic Hospital; she served the mission in a variety of roles prior to assuming the position of CEO in 1995. But her heart and soul clearly are among those who preceded her, and she talks easily in the first person about the warm welcome Jackson extended to the Dominicans. “They had never seen Dominican Sisters before,” she says, but the people of Jackson quickly embraced St.
Dominic’s ministry and the Sisters immediately “fell in love with the people of Mississippi.” By the time Sister Dorothea retired as president and CEO of St. Dominic Health Services in December of 2011, she had collected a staggering array of professional accolades. In 2005, she received the Jefferson Award from the American Institute for Public Service, given to “unsung heroes who encounter problems in their communities, believe they can help and create innovative solutions—all without concern for personal recognition or reward” and was inducted into the Mississippi Business Hall of Fame a year later. Today, she continues to serve on the St. Dominic Health Services (“SDHS”) Board of Directors and the SDHS Foundation Board, maintain her involvement in Jackson civic life, and minister to the sick and need in the community. As she anticipates the future of St. Dominic’s without her at the helm, it is clear that she sees the mission will be uninterrupted, and why: “It’s the Lord’s work, not ours.”
Sister Trinita The self-described “farm girl” from Springfield, Illinois, entered St. Dominic’s School of Nursing after making profession of vows and arriving on the Illinois Central train in Jackson to begin a lifetime of service to the metrochristianliving.com ❘ JULY 2012 47
sick and disadvantaged. Today, after decades of nursing service But the residents will tell you that one of the things at St. Dominic Hospital (serving as Vice President of Patient that sets St. Catherine’s apart is the presence of Care Services from 1980 until 1993), Sister Mary Trinita Sister Margaret Grueter, OP, and Sister Kristin Eddington, OP, directs the St. Dominic Community Health Rever, OP. Clinic in inner city Jackson, treating thousands of poor and Sister Margaret and Sister Kristin are Pastoral underserved every year. Visitors at St. Catherine’s, offering personal In 2011, her numerous professional and academic counseling or leading Bible studies. “My work at St. accomplishments were recognized with the Governor’s Catherine’s is really the work of the Spirit. I feel Initiative for the Volunteer Excellence Marsha Meeks Kelly fulfilled in this calling,” says Sister Margaret. She Sister Paulinus and Gemma Lifetime Achievement award, though Sister Trinita deflects has spent most of her vocation in elementary attention away from her individual accomplishments. education and this year will celebrate her 18th year at St. Dominic’s. “Nothing is really hard when all hands are working together. It’s been a Sister Kristin entered religious life immediately upon graduation from pleasure to work at St. Dominic Hospital because of that.” high school in rural Illinois, and later earned degrees in education and respiratory therapy. She first came to St. Dominic’s in 1983 to become a respiratory therapist, but later took up her current role at St. Catherine’s. Sister Karina “I find my work here at St. Catherine’s Village to be fulfilling,” says It was no accident that Sister Susan Karina Dickey, OP served as de Sister Kristin. “The residents continue to be an edification to me. They facto narrator of a recent documentary of the history of St. Dominic’s. give me more than I can give to them.” Before she entered religious life, Sister Karina earned a doctoral degree Sister Kristin also serves on the St. Dominic Hospital Board. She is in history and she later chronicled the history of St. Dominic’s with Sister quick to recognize that pastoral work is the responsibility of everyone at Josephine Therese Uhll, OP. St. Dominic’s, not just those with a religious vocation. Today, she serves as St. Dominic’s Director of Mission Integration, “The St. Dominic mission of healing and compassion, and our core working to assure that all services and all decisions at the hospital reflect values of integrity, collaboration, accountability, respect and excellence its original mission. Her contributions to Ethics Committee discussions, that drive our mission, are lived out daily through our wonderful caring for example, allow her to bring both a professional analysis and caring staff.” sensibility to often difficult health care situations. Sister Karina is humbled by the “long and winding road” that brought an Indiana farm girl to St. Dominic’s and has embraced her calling as the Sister Thecla and Sister Celestine system’s storyteller, its keeper of the flame. “Mission integration is a fancy Every day, hundreds of patients are seen in St. Dominic’s Emergency way of saying ‘Be true to your roots.’ Everything we do—every Department or admitted or observed in the hospital. Along with six relationship, process, procedure—is to be done in a way that advances the colleagues in Pastoral Care, Sister Mary Thecla Kuhnline, OP, and Sister mission of Christian healing and upholds our core values.” Mary Celestine Rondelli, OP, visit virtually every patient and their She allows that a shrinking number of religious in health care may families. make her job seem more important than ever, “but even if there were Sister Thecla grew up in a farm family in Illinois, the last of seven dozens of sisters, in today’s health care climate we have to be very children. The Dominican Sisters were Sister Thecla’s first teachers, and deliberate in passing on the stories and the traditions, that make St. both she and an older sister entered the Dominican community in Dominic’s special.” Springfield. For more than two decades, Sister Thecla taught school children in rural areas throughout the state. For the past 20 years, Sister Thecla has served in Pastoral Care and is Sister Margaret and Sister Kristin a certified Chaplain. Most of her time is spent collaborating with St. St. Catherine’s Village is a residential community in Madison offering a Dominic’s staff to care for the patients in St. Dominic’s emergency high quality continuum of health care services for those in need, department. “We are God’s presence to those people, they are God’s including assisted living, nursing home care, and an Alzheimer’s facility.
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1954
presence to us,” she says. For six months after graduating from Sacred Heart Academy in Springfield, Sister Celestine worked as a long-distance operator for Illinois Bell. “I decided then it was time to answer this special call to the Dominican community,” she says. After her profession of vows in 1956, she taught elementary school and eventually entered a health care ministry. “About 10 years ago, I received a very audible call from Sister Dorothea: ‘Come, come to St. Dominic’s—we need you here!’ So here I am, still listening to that call to be compassionate and loving to the sick, lonely, and grieving.” “I am so grateful to God for this call each and every day,” says Sister Celestine. “As I walk the halls of St. Dominic’s, I feel God’s spirit leading me and working through me.”
Sister Gemma For almost 30 years, Sister Gemma Dittle, SSND, taught in and ran school programs. Today, she brings the credentials and sensibilities of a guidance counselor to her role in pastoral care at St. Dominic’s. She ministers to both patients and their families, listening and, when called upon, offering moral support in the face of illness. Sister Gemma meets with patients and their families in intimate circumstances to guide them through what can be a difficult and turbulent time. It’s not the burden of this challenge that she focuses on but rather the “joy-filled” nature of her work and her gratitude for the grace that patients and families bring to her.
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“It’s beautiful ministry,” she says. “Patients and families minister to me.” Sister Gemma is a native of East St. Louis, Illinois, and her calling as a member of the School Sisters of Notre Dame (SSND) took her to Texas and other parts of Mississippi before she arrived in Jackson. She is happy to help sustain the legacy of the Dominican Sisters and is grateful for the opportunity to serve in the ongoing Christian ministry of healing.
Sister Paulinus The stories about Sister Paulinus Oakes, RSM are true. She did coach Pee Wee football. She once did tuck her floor-length habit into her belt so she could play and coach volleyball. “I like things looking a little bit different,” Sister Paulinus told a biographer about a year ago writing an article for her high school website, perhaps articulating what is immediately clear to anyone meeting her. That passion and fearlessness she brings to her mission today as a Chaplain and head of Pastoral Care at St. Dominic’s Behavioral Health Services. She continues her calling as a member of the Religious Sisters of Mercy (RSM) while serving at St. Dominic’s. In addition to her ministry at St. Dominic’s, she serves on the board of My Father’s House, a rehabilitation facility in Jackson for chemically dependent men. She has extensive administrative duties both within St. Dominic’s and in the Jackson community at large, but she is most passionate about embodying St. Dominic’s core mission: “It it always about ministry. It is always about the care of the patient.” Y
metrochristianliving.com ❘ JULY 2012 49
➺food for thought by LYDIA BOLEN
Lydia’s Best of the Best
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his July issue of Metro Christian Living is a special one. It is the 10th anniversary publication. I have selected three of my past recipes that
have stood the test of time and were popular with our readers. Summer is in full swing, so enjoy preparing my old-fashioned Blueberry Pie, Pimento Cheese and my personal favorite...Fresh Tomato Tart.
BLUEBERRY PIE
SAVORY PIMENTO CHEESE
FRESH TOMATO TART
(This is a very old recipe given to me by a sweet lady in Inverness, Mississippi.)
1 1/2 to 2 pounds extra sharp cheese 8 ounce cream cheese 1 to 2 cloves of garlic, minced 1 whole lemon (juice of) Green onions, chopped fine Tabasco (to taste) Worcestershire sauce (to taste) 1 to 2 teaspoons canned chipotle peppers in adobe sauce (optional) Duke’s mayonnaise (about 1/2 cup) 1 large jar well-drained pimentos. (Save some of the juice)
1 8 1/4 2 2 to 3 1/2 1/4 1/4 1/4
CRUST
16 1/3
Pecan Sandies, crushed (Keebler brand) cup butter, melted
Mix crushed cookies and melted butter together. Press into 9 inch pie plate. FILLING
1
2/3 8 3 1
pint fresh blueberries (optional: can use a mixture of blueberries and raspberries. Use 1/2 pint of each) cup sugar ounce cream cheese eggs teaspoon vanilla
Process all ingredients (except for the pimentos) in the food processor. Mix until smooth. Fold in one large jar of well-drained pimentos. Add enough mayonnaise to spread. Can add a small amount of the pimento juice if desired.
unbaked pastry shell ounces mozzarella cheese cup minced onions tablespoons fresh basil, chopped tomatoes cut into one half inch slices teaspoon salt teaspoon black pepper cup olive oil cup grated parmesan cheese
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Layer all ingredients in pastry shell in order listed. Sprinkle parmesan cheese over the top. Bake 30-40 minutes. Remove from oven and let stand 5 minutes before serving. Serves 6.
Mix all filling ingredients except the blueberries in the mixer. Pour filling into prepared crust. Drop blueberries over all the filling mixture. This will have a polka-dot effect. Bake 350 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes. Let cool. After it cools, place in refrigerator.
“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of Him that sent me, and to finish His work.” – John 4:34 50 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Remember to make memories through the kitchen... “the heartbeat of the home” E-mail me at lbbolen@gmail for any questions.
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601-988-7883 www.seniortransitionsms.com metrochristianliving.com ❘ JULY 2012 51
➺legal advice by WILLIAM B. HOWELL
Planning for Long-Term Care
state planning involves more than the careful provisions for our surviving spouse to be taken care of at our death. What happens if you don’t die? What if you are instead incapacitated and you need full-time care, either at home or in a nursing home? What happens if your care exceeds your assets? Very few people have actually thought about this type of happening, much less actually planned for it, and yet it occurs frequently. What could have been done to make it better? There are several possibilities. Some people have purchased long-term care insurance to cover the expenses of this type situation. Sometimes they find that the long-term care coverage that they have is either not sufficient to cover the full nursing home cost, or it does not cover their home care in some cases. Still, having longterm care (nursing home) insurance is usually a wise thing. But, if your health is such that you can’t qualify for long-term care insurance, or the cost is such that you cannot put it in your budget, then what? You can privately pay the expenses of the nursing home until your money is all gone, and then you can get assistance from Medicaid. The other alternative is to do some planning in advance to provide protection for a portion of your assets from the cost of nursing home care, and still become qualified for Medicaid assistance. Using this latter method, most people can readily protect somewhere between 50 percent and 100 percent of their assets, preserving them to care for the surviving spouse after they are no longer here. Some people question whether or not you should have the government paying for your care. Let me give you an example and a comparison. We have four gentlemen—their names are Jim, Jack, Joe and George.
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Jim has about $200,000 put back, he and his wife have a home paid for, and he is in his early seventies. He has a major heart attack, goes to the hospital, has to have bypass surgery, and the bill is almost $100,000. Thanks to Medicare and his Medicare supplemental Insurance, it is all taken care of, and when he passes away a few years later, his wife has the savings and the home. Jack has also about $200,000, a home paid for, and he has children, but no wife. Jack has a massive stroke. He is in good health, but he is incapacitated and has to go directly into a nursing home. After a few years, his $200,000 is completely spent, and he is then qualified for Medicaid benefits. After he passes away, Medicaid seeks to be reimbursed from the sole remaining asset, his home, under the Estate Recovery Program. His family gets little, if anything. Joe has never been very successful in life, and has dealt with his addiction to alcohol. He also has a stroke, but he lives in an apartment and has very little money. He goes into the nursing home, he is qualified for Medicaid assistance from the beginning, and when he passes away, there is nothing for Medicaid to recover from his estate. And then there is George. He also has $200,000, a home paid for and a spouse. He does some planning in advance to protect his assets, and when he has to go into the nursing home a number of years later, his assets are fully protected, and when he passes away, there is no recovery from his estate by Medicaid. His spouse has the savings and the home. George planned. These are real situations, and the only question to be asked: Which situation fits you? Do a little planning. It may be one of the best things that you will ever do for you and your family. Y
You have worked hard for it. WHY THROW IT AWAY? We are all living longer. But we are not all going to be in good health, or aware of our families, or both. Then what happens? Someone has to take over. The question is: Will this be someone you chose? And will it be outside of court or in court? The same with the distribution of your assets after you pass away: In court or out of court? The choice is yours. What about protecting your assets from lawsuits, or a child’s inheritance from a divorce? And will most of your hard-earned savings go to the nursing home? Or have you planned? Here are a few ideas for you to consider:
Living Trust – Allows the person you choose to take over for you in the event of your incapacity, without any court involvement. At your death the person you have chosen makes the distribution of your assets the way you have instructed in your Living Trust, and to do so promptly, inexpensively and privately, without going through probate in the court.
Asset Protection – Lawsuits are filed every day. If you get sued, are your assets protected? They can be, and probably should be. Also, the divorce rate has never been higher than it is today. Will your child’s divorce cause them to lose half of what you leave them after you are gone? Not if you plan now. The level of protection (or not) is up to you.
Nursing Home Planning – Don’t qualify for long term care insurance, or can’t fit it in your budget? You don’t have to spend everything that you have in order to become eligible for nursing home benefits. There are legal and ethical ways for you to save well over half of your assets in most cases, even if you are already in the nursing home. Hear Mr. Howell on the radio
Tuesdays 8:35 am WJNT NewsTalk 1180 52 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
THE LAW FIRM OF
WILLIAM B. HOWELL, LTD. 406 Orchard Park • Ridgeland, Mississippi (601) 978-1700 or (800) 839-7857
National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys
money matters by GISLE SORLI
Finding the Joy in Managing God’s Money We might look at someone thinking,“wonder how much he’s worth?” Based on the world’s economy, we’re guessing the person’s wealth. In our culture, a person’s “worth” is measured by their wealth. But in God’s economy, it’s the reverse. People’s worth is measured by what they share. In Luke 6:38, Jesus said, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Jay Link, president of Stewardship Ministries, proposes three questions to ask about our wealth: What do I want to do with all my wealth? What do I want to do with God’s wealth? What does God want me to do with His wealth? Let’s examine the questions:
1. What do I want to do with all my wealth? We think, “I earned it,” or “does God even care about my money.” Actually God does care. The Bible has hundreds of verses about money and possessions. And Jesus often talked about our possessions. Initially, question one doesn’t sound too negative. But notice the personal pronouns “I” and “my,” with the focus on self. Asking—what do I want to do with all my wealth?—is the wrong question. Relying on our understanding, we often make poor choices. We have a God who loves us and does know what’s best. If we’ll look past first question and move on toward the third question, we can find His best plan for our wealth.
2. What do I want to do with God’s wealth? This second question sounds like a shift in the right direction. We admit the wealth belongs to God and seek good ways to spend His wealth. For example, we know that God wants us to share our wealth with others. So we decide to give to a worthy organization, like our local church. Now we feel good and the church benefits. But is there lasting joy in this giving? As Oswald Chambers described in, My Utmost for His Highest, “The
greatest enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but the good which is not good enough. The good is always enemy of the best.” Are we truly seeking the “best”—God’s direction for sharing His wealth? With question two, we hold the decision-making instead of letting God have full control. This leads us to the best with question three.
3. What does God want me to do with His wealth? When we consistently ask this question, we open our hands and release the wealth—it belongs to God anyway—inviting God to be fully invested in our decisions. Here’s how we might apply this third question. We pray, asking God to show us how to manage His wealth. We learn that a woman in our church with limited resources is job hunting. We sense the Holy Spirit nudging us to give the woman nice clothing that would prepare her to be dressed for the interviews. So working with church leaders we anonymously give the woman the needed clothing. This giving feels joyously good. We are couriers for God’s money, obeying what God commands. Not only will there be true joy now, there will be rewards in heaven too. In asking question three—what does God want me to do with His wealth?—we open our lives up to God’s best. In 1 Timothy 6:18-19, Paul wrote Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a form foundation for the coming age, so that they make take hold of the life that is truly life. With questions one and two, we might pursue a good life. But if we want to “take hold of the life that is truly life” then we need to apply question three to our wealth. Are we willing to trust God and be His good stewards? “Steward’s Progress—A Guide for Your Financial Journey”—Gisle Sorli is an investor advisor representative with McLean Asset Management Corporation, a registered investment adviser. He is passionate about guiding families with excess on a journey as they learn to be good stewards of what God has entrusted to them. Contact him at www.stewardsprogress.com or gisle.sorli@mcleanam.com metrochristianliving.com ❘ JULY 2012 53
➺fresh finds Sizzlin’ Summer Styles 1 | WHITLEY’S FLOWERS IN FONDREN “It’s not what the world holds for you” Print by Little Things Studio $15
2 | CALLAWAY’S Brim Hat, $24.99 Garden Gloves, $27.99 Kneepads, $19.99 Easy grip-and-store Watering Can, $21.99 “No Kink” Coil Hose, $39.99 Multi-Function Nozzle, $16.99 Multi-Function Sprinkler, $39.99
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3 | VILLAGE BEADS Birds nest necklace $30 Cotton pearl rhinestone earrings $29
4 | APPLE ANNIE’S Seda France Candle $16.95
5 | NOVELLA Livi Lawson necklace $28 earrings $20
6 | TRADITION’S CHILDRENS BOUTIQUE “Mommy chic, baby safe” non toxic jewelry for moms, safe for babies to tug, touch, and chew! $30
7 | PLATO’S CLOSET Hobo wallet (used) $45 Steve madden summer flats $12 Pinks teardrop earrings $8
54 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
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Misssissippi Craft Center Christmas in July
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Although we know the “real reason for the season,” Santas are highly collectible and lots of fun. See this fine example of one for your collection at the MS Craft Center. Hand-carved by Mike Bailey, it is brightly painted and ready to be placed on your decorated mantle or under the tree. $190
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Can an angel lose her wings? This one found hers and is constructed entirely of recycled parts. She may be used as an ornament or door hanger. Anne Campbell creates adorable creatures of all kinds and they are available at the MS Craft Center. $25
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Candace Ballard designs a full nativity scene of fiber hooked ornaments that are perfect for your favorite newly-wed couple’s tree or wedding gift this summer. Remember your first Christmas as a married couple with a bare tree? Here is a whimsical ornament by Candace sure to please the children, as well. $12
4.
What a magnificent tribute to our Savior’s birth is this finely etched glass window by Tom Eddleman. See it at the MS Craft Center and use for the holidays or place in your window for an entire year’s worship. $375
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Every Santa collection needs Elves, as well. See this delightful guy at the MS Craft Center. Hand-carved by Joe Hunt, he will delight everyone in your household. $75
56 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
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our daily bread by MARY HUGHES
Searching for Answers here was a time in my Christian walk when I believed that if felt safe and comfortable. The journey is often unpleasant and I attended church, tithed obediently, and volunteered when frightening, but the results are a life ‘…where so much blessing will be necessary, then somehow I would be protected from the poured out that you will not have room enough for it.’ (Malachi 3:10) problems and tragedies of life. And yet still you cry out for Me to remove your suffering! I have said that I’ve heard sermons on the trials of the Christian life, and I knew that ‘all things work for the good for those who are called according to My even Christians have problems. But I had this unspoken feeling that the purpose.’ (Romans 8:28) And they do! Troubling times will drive you into major tragedies are reserved for those who somehow, brought situations my arms for ‘I am your Father of compassion and comfort, I comfort you on themselves. So imagine my dismay when the Heavens seemed to in all your troubles, so then you may comfort those in any trouble with open up and rain down tragedy and heartbreak. In the blink of an eye all the comfort you have received from your God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) It is my ill-conceived notions about the goodness and faithfulness of God difficult but you can learn to ‘consider it pure joy, whenever you face were shattered. I was left reeling with disillusionment and questioning a trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops Father I obviously didn’t know. I cried, “Why me? “ My husband losing perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be his job, a serious neck injury, and my brother dying unexpectedly were mature and complete, not lacking in anything.’ “(James 1:2-4) tragedies that weren’t supposed to happen. As my cries of pain rose up to My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.’ (John 10:10) Seek my Heaven in waves of bitterness, God, in His wisdom, delayed His face and abide in me and ‘I tell you that neither death, nor life, nor response for “…an appointed time.” (Habakkuk 2:3) I felt as though the angels, nor principalities or powers of darkness…shall be able to separate door to the presence of the Lord had been sealed forever. In anger you from the love of Christ...’ (Romans 8:38-39) You will learn that and bitterness I tried to make deals, and when that didn’t being a Christian does not insulate you from trouble but if work my soul became overwhelmed with sorrow and you will allow My Holy Spirit to protect you he will my feelings of loneliness were absolute! In a state ‘… equip you with the full armor of God so that of surrender, humbled and broken, I cried out when days of evil come, you will be able to to my Father, “…nevertheless, not as I will, stand your ground.’ I see the guiding hand of my Father but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39) Only You began your walk with me as a child, and know that each mountain I am then, through scripture, did the Lord immature and incomplete. But through speak. trials and by My Spirit, you will finish your made to climb and every hurdle that I “My daughter, how is it that for all days lacking in nothing, able to stand firm, must jump is not a punishment but a your years living ‘for me’ as you have complete in My love. You will be ever able growing experience from a God who proclaimed, you do not know Me? I have to love others and to extend mercy, grace, watched you sit in My house, listening to and forgiveness, even as I have given them loves me so much that he has written My teachers, and yet you are a baby unto you.” my name on the palm of His hand. requiring milk rather than devouring the Because I now understand what God’s solid food of instruction. (I Corinthians 3:2) word says about trials, I no longer run from Have I not said that ‘I desire mercy, and not trouble. Rather, I see the guiding hand of my sacrifice; and the knowledge of Me more than burnt Father and know that each mountain I am made to offerings’? (Hosea 6:6) And yet like the Pharisees, you are climb and every hurdle that I must jump is not a content to live an existence based on outward obedience to the law punishment but a growing experience from a God who loves me so rather than the New Way which my son made possible when he gave his much that He has written my name on the palm of His hand. (Isaiah life to pay for your sins. I am astonished that although I have told you 49:16) What once seemed tragic has now become an opportunity to learn many times by my living word (Hebrews 4:12) that trials and troubles and mature under the guidance of the Lord. A lost job has turned into a would be with you in this life, you have still been caught unprepared! new career, more satisfying than before. A brother taken early is a You are like the foolish man who built his house on the sand so that brother who will never be sick again and is forever with God. My neck when the flood of life came upon you, you were washed away. (Matthew injury is slowly healing, but I have been taught through this experience 7: 26-27)) Listen closely and I will be the ‘voice behind you, whether you that in all things, my strength and dependence must rest with the Lord. turn to the right or to the left, telling you which way to walk.’(Isaiah Because of my trials, I can comfort and understand others who are 30:21) I am He who planned your life before the foundation of the world suffering because I too have suffered. We all have a choice as to how we began. Each moment of your life, every situation you find yourself in, experience hard times; we can grow bitter and cold, remaining stagnant both the days of joy and the seasons of sorrow have been carefully and unchanged. Or, accept the painful along with the good, and rejoice planned to refine you in order that you may become the child I destined that ‘you… will reflect the Lord’s glory; for you are being transformed you to be. ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ (Psalms 46:10) Hear me for into His likeness with ever-increasing glory.’ (II Corinthians 3:18) Author I will explain the purpose of trials.” C.S. Lewis once said, “God whispers to us in our pleasure, speaks in our “ I told you that ‘in the world you would have tribulation but to be of conscience, but shouts in our pain.” I say to the Lord, “Raise the roof, good cheer for I have overcome the world’? (John 16:33) Because I love Father, for I am listening. Amen.” Y you I want you to experience the best of life. I have prepared the riches Mary Hughes is an aerobics instructor at both Baptist Healthplex of ‘peace, joy, contentment and self-control…’just for you. (Galatians and First Baptist Jackson’s Christian Life Center. She is also a 5:22) However, for My children to receive these gifts they must mature. personal trainer. She and her husband have two daughters. Growth is painful, and it requires us to leave the confines where we have
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metrochristianliving.com ❘ JULY 2012 57
â&#x17E;şletâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s talk it over by MOLLY MEEKS, L.P.C.
Clash of the Caregivers! How to Resolve the Inevitable Conflicts of Caregiving If you are a caregiver, then chances are that you are going to experience more than your fair share of conflict. Conflict is a normal part of all relationships. However, as a caregiver, additional factors contribute to the heightened opportunities for conflict; stress, grief, frustration, limited options, exhaustion and unpleasant yet necessary tasks, are but a few. And letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not leave out the fact that we are often dividing the tasks of caregiving with our family members who may have different opinions of what â&#x20AC;&#x153;shouldâ&#x20AC;? be done, by whom, how and when! How do you usually cope with conflict when you are under stress? Do you get angry and react harshly or do you quietly withdraw into a hopeless feeling of depression? Neither of these responses is healthy, and yet, they are not at all uncommon. So if conflict is inevitable and the reactions of lashing out or holding it all in are unhealthy, then what is the best way to resolve it? Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. James 1:19 In Gary Chapmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book, Things I Wish Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d Known Before We Got Married, Chapman endorses Jesusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; emphasis on listening and explains how to use listening to solve conflicts without arguing. 1. Accept that we will all have conflicts. This comes from the reality that we all have different ideas that we think are the best! Our unique logic, emotions, history, values and personalities all play into this. 2. Our conflicts can be separated into two categories, major and minor. How we will decorate momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s room at the nursing home might be considered minor (unless you are an interior decorator!). Whether mom is going to live with one of her children or in a nursing home might be considered major. Major or minor, all conflicts have the potential of escalating and destroying weekends or relationships.
Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D; Â&#x201E;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2013; Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018; Â&#x2018;Â&#x17D;Â&#x17D; Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x17D;Â&#x192;Â&#x203A; Â&#x2021;Â&#x192;Â&#x2020;ÇŤ Â&#x2021;Â&#x192;Â&#x201D;Â? Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2021; Â&#x192;Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2021; Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2020; Â&#x2021;Â&#x2026;Â&#x2014;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021; Â&#x192;Â&#x203A; Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018; Â&#x192;Â&#x201D;Â? Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2026;Â? Â&#x192;Â&#x201D;Â?Â&#x2021;Â&#x2013; Â&#x2039;Â?Â?Â&#x2021;Â&#x2020; Â&#x2021;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2014;Â&#x201D;Â?Â&#x2022; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2013;Â&#x160;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2013; Â&#x192;Â&#x201D;Â?Â&#x2021;Â&#x2013; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2022;Â? Â&#x2013;Â&#x2018; Â&#x2018;Â&#x2014;Â&#x201D; Â&#x201D;Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x2026;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2019;Â&#x192;Â&#x17D;Ǥ Â&#x192;Â&#x17D;Â&#x17D; Â&#x2018;Â&#x2122; Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D; Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021; Â?Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2018;Â&#x201D;Â?Â&#x192;Â&#x2013;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2018;Â?
Ǥ Ǥ ÇŻ Â&#x2039;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2021; Â&#x2039;Â?Â&#x192;Â?Â&#x2026;Â&#x2039;Â&#x192;Â&#x17D; Â&#x2021;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2026;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2022; 1.800.844.3254 58 JULY 2012 â?&#x2DC; Metro Christian Living
3. Create a healthy plan for handling your conflicts that is centered around the need to listen and feel heard. When you encounter a conflict, request a time to listen rather than a time to talk. This creates a much more positive atmosphere. 4. After patiently listening to each other and confirming that you feel heard and affirmed, Chapman offers three options for resolving the conflict. A. Meeting in the Middle â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Essentially this is a form of compromising. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll pick the comforter and linens out and you can pick out what pictures we frame and hang on the wall. Or letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s try one month of respite care at this nursing home and see how it goes. B. Meeting on Your Side â&#x20AC;&#x201C; After listening, you decide to do what the other is proposing. This is an act of love and sacrifice. You do not necessarily think their idea is better than yours but that this time you are willing to try it their way. C. Meeting Later â&#x20AC;&#x201C; This is essentially a wait and see approach. Neither party can find a way to compromise or concede so instead you agree to put off the decision for a while. Many families handle issues such as nursing home placement in this manner. You agree to check back in a month or so and see if anything has changed such as a major fall or decline in health. The key is that you agree in the meantime it will not be a disruptive factor in your relationship. By using Chapmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s techniques to handle our caregiver conflicts, we can maintain healthy family relationships and possibly even improve our feelings of closeness, support and love. Good luck! Y Molly Meeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor with Summit Counseling. She specializes in working with caregivers, older adults, grief, depression and anxiety. She is married and has three teenaged daughters.
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601.853.3299 metrochristianliving.com ❘ JULY 2012 59
➺rave reviews BOOK
The Seven Desires of Every Heart Reviewed by Susan E. Richardson
When you give, people live
Authors Mark and Debra Laaser go deep with their book The Seven Desires of Every Heart, finding that we humans share the same basic longings across genders, races, and cultures. All of us desire to be heard and understood, to be affirmed, to be blessed, to be safe, to be touched, to be chosen, and to be included. If unmet, these desires form the root of all the struggles and challenges we face. Because these needs are deep-seated, we often focus on the outer problem, whatever the specific issue. We may be able to improve, but we will not heal until we discover and deal with the deep wounds that come from unmet desires. The Lassers use the “iceberg model” to explain the process. The behavior or problem is the small portion we see. Most of what drives bad behaviors lies beneath our conscious thinking like an iceberg under water.
We must uncover the coping mechanisms we’ve developed, deal with feelings in a healthy way, look at our own internal messages, and deal with expectations. Doing so brings us to our yearnings—he seven desires—which will connect us with the final goal: reclaiming who we are as “fearfully and wonderfully made” children of God. Points to ponder at the end of each chapter guide individuals through the process. Therapists may find direction to go deeper with clients stuck in the recovery process. The Seven Desires of Every Heart is worth reading and applying for anyone who struggles. Y Susan E. Richardson is a writer, critique reader, and former Christian retailer with a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word. You can reach her through her website www.nextlevelcritiques.com.
DVD
“Jesus the first blood donor”
Call Today
601-981-3232 To find a blood drive near you or to plan your own blood drive.
msblood.com 60 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Veggie Tales New Release! Sweet Sarah Crew has everything a little girl could want – a loving family, lots of friends and closet full of frilly dresses! But when life takes a turn and Sarah goes from riches to rags, will she realize that her true worth lies not in what she has, but what she has in her heart? Find out in this inspiring new story from Veggie Tales that reminds kids who they are in God’s eyes. A lesson based on Philippians 4:8 and Romans 8:39, the story of Sara Crewe will not be soon forgotten by any little girl who loves princess themes. The songs are catchy and the lyrics teach deep truths. The Penniless Princess – God’s Little Girl DVD releases in early August. Visit www.veggietales.com for a preview trailer and to order your copy. (Take a tip from a grandmother. Grandparents should always have Veggietales on hand!) Y
events calendar Sunday’s in July Pet owners are invited to bring their dogs to the Mississippi Museum of Art from noon to 5 p.m. for Dog Day Afternoons. Enjoy companionship and outdoors with “man’s best friend” in The Art Garden. July 12–15 New Stage Theatre presents Disney’s The Little Mermaid, Jr. featuring students from the Broadway Junior Summer Camp. Support our local up and coming talent while enjoying this classic Disney story. For additional information call 601-948-3533. July 19 C Spire’s Summer Music Concert at The Cedars, 4145 Old Canton Road, features the music of The Vernon Brothers. Bring a blanket and picnic supper and enjoy music under the stars. This fun free event begins at 6:00 p.m. For additional information visit fondren.org.
Tonkel as the guest evangelist. For more information call 601-854-8158.
Babcock. Head over to the Pearl Community Room – 2420 Old Brandon Road – for this fun filled family event. The show begins at 6:00 p.m. and is sure to provide toe tapping entertainment.
MADISON July 5, 12, 19, & 26 Every Thursday 4-8 p.m. Come on out to the Livingston Market 129 Mannsdale Road in Madison. Fresh produce, food, and local exhibitors. Taste “Garden of Fire” artisan wood pizza. Visit http://facebook.com/LivingstonFarmers Market for each Thursday’s night lineup!
CANTON July 4 The Historic Canton Square will play host to the Canton Gospel Fest Homecoming, a free gospel concert featuring regional and local acts. This alcohol-free event is sure to be a crowd pleaser for the young and old alike. For additional information go to www.cantontourism.com/gospel.html.
FLOWOOD RIDGELAND 2nd and 4th Mondays of the month Bring your needles, yarn, and thread and join other projecteers at The Ridgeland Recreational Center for The Thread, Yarn, & Coffee Group. From 1:30 – 3:30 enjoy fellowship and coffee while working on your handmade project. For additional information call 601-853-2011.
July 28 Parents & Kids Magazine’s Back to School Pajama Party is a free, fun way for your kids to spend the afternoon. Join the gang from 10:30 a.m. until noon at the YMCA on 690 Liberty Road for music, songs, food and bedtime stories. Registration is required and a parent must attend with their child. The Downtown YMCA will also play host on July 30 from 6 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. Call 601-366-0901 to register.
PELAHATCHIE July 27–August 5 Shiloh United Methodist Church, located at 2394 Shiloh Road, will be holding their Campmeeting services beginning Friday night, July 27. Services will be held daily at 11 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. with Rev. Keith
PEARL July 21 The Mississippi Opry presents its summer show with home grown talent Cross Country as well as Harmony & Grits, Bill Ellison and Temperance
BRANDON July 28 Ready for a bargain? The Traditions Children’e Resale & Boutique will be holding their One year Anniversary Celebration Event with fun, food and more! Come early for the best selection. For more information call 601-8252212.
metrochristianliving.com ❘ JULY 2012 61
JULY 2012
JACKSON
➺quips & quotes
ADVERTISING INDEX ADVERTISER
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Cut out the scriptures and quotes and place them around your home for daily encouragement!
✂ “A nation without God's guidance is a nation without order. Happy are those who keep God's law!”
“Those who won our independence believed liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty.”
– Proverbs 29:18
“It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you.” – Dick Cheney
– Louis D. Brandeis
“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” - Psalm 27:13
“But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ” – Philippians 3:20 NIV
Thy love divine hath led us in the past, In this free land by Thee our lot is cast, Be Thou our Ruler, Guardian, Guide and Stay, Thy Word our law, Thy paths our chosen way. - Daniel Roberts
“America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.” – Alexis de Tocqueville
NORTH STATE ANIMAL & BIRD HOSPITAL 5208 North State Street • Jackson, MS 39206
601-982-8261 Dr. Adrian Whittington Dr. Jeb Cade Dr. Melissa McLendon OFFICE HOURS: Monday-Friday: 7:30 am - 6:00 pm Saturday: 8:00 am - 12:00 pm Sunday: Boarding only 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
Boarding & Grooming Services Available
62 JULY 2012 ❘ Metro Christian Living
“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” – 2 Chron. 7:14
“Good leaders abhor wrong doing of all kinds; sound leadership has a moral foundation.” – Proverbs 16:12
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Apple Annies .......................................................46 Beautiful Image of Jackson..................................43 Belhaven University ................................................6 Biaggi’s..................................................................59 Bless This Food Catering .....................................40 Boston Scientific .....................................................3 Callaway’s Yard & Garden ....................................21 Christ Covenant....................................................31 Clean Water of Malawi.........................................15 Covenant Caregivers............................................46 Dr. Phillip Ley........................................................17 Dr. Charles McMasters .........................................18 East Lakeland OB-GYN Associates, P.A. .............13 Edible Arrangements ...........................................24 Energy Insulation, Inc. ..........................................46 Environment Masters ...........................................25 Eye Care Professionals .........................................21 FPDS...............................................................25, 42 French Camp Academy........................................42 Gentiva Hospice ...................................................48 Grantham Poole Certified Public Accountants ...41 Greenwood Convention Bureau..........................28 Heiden & Garland, Inc..........................................59 Highland Village ...................................................23 Highland Presbyterian Church .............................44 Home Instead Senior Care...................................51 Jackson Academy...................................................2 Jackson Healthcare for Women...........................19 Jackson Heart Foundation ...................................25 Jackson Preparatory School ................................41 Joel Clarke & Sons Jewelry..................................44 LifeWay Christian Stores ......................................29 M&F Bank .............................................................49 Miskelly Furniture ...................................................4 Mississippi Blood Service .....................................60 Mississippi Craft Center .......................................40 Newk’s...................................................................16 North State Animal Hospital................................61 Novella Boutique & Salon....................................59 O’Mire Financial Services.....................................58 Page Kruger & Holland ........................................28 Pennington & Trim Alarm Services, Inc. ..............19 Plato’s Closet ........................................................46 Reformed Theological Seminary..........................46 Regions .................................................................17 Remedies Compounding & Wellness Pharmacy.64 Remedy Weight Loss............................................23 River Oaks Medical Center ....................................7 River Oaks Hospital..............................................23 Run for the Son (FBJ Event)...................................5 Russell Art.............................................................48 Senior Transitions of MS ......................................51 Sitters, LLC............................................................59 Southern Farm Bureau .........................................43 Star 93.5................................................................45 St. Dominic’s ...........................................................9 Stegall Imagery.....................................................45 Summit Counseling ..............................................51 Sunnybrook Estates..............................................46 The Veritas School................................................51 Tinnin Imports.......................................................11 Tradition Children’s Resale & Boutique...............20 Two Men And A Truck..........................................31 Venable Glass Services.........................................59 Village Beads ........................................................59 Wellspring Wealth Group.....................................51 Whitley’s Flowers..................................................31 William Howell......................................................52 Wimberly & Associates ........................................13 Wright Ferguson...................................................31 Written in Stone ...................................................51 Yazoo CVB ............................................................29 For more information on our advertisers visit www.metrochristianliving.com
Introducing Central Mississippi’s Newest Compounding and Wellness Pharmacy
Anna Claire Heindl, PharmD, Compounding Specialist; Tommy Spell, PharmD, Pharmacist in Charge; Beth Donnell, PharmD, Hormone Specialist
Compounding, Wellness and Retail Pharmacy Bio-Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy • Testosterone Replacement Therapy Hormone Testing • Veterinary Compounding • Diabetes Testing Supplies Comprehensive Medication Review • Personal Refill Reminders to Ensure Adherence Same or Next-Day Home Delivery
500 HIGHWAY 51 NORTH, SUITE Q • RIDGELAND, MS 39157
Monday - Friday 9 AM - 6 PM and Saturday 9 AM - 1 PM Telephone 601.981.0070 or 800.826.1197 • Facsimile 601.981.4513 or 800.729.0617 Located in Trace Station Shopping Center between Fleet Feet Sports and Great Harvest Bread Company