March 2011 Metro Christian Living by Mississippi Christian Living

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PRISCILLA’S STORY Osteoporosis is a disease that causes bone to become weak and susceptible to fracture. Of the 10 million Americans with this disease, 80% are women, and having a mother with osteoporosis puts a daughter particularly at risk. Priscilla Turner, 67, of Memphis, TN knows this risk all too well. Her 90-year-old mother, Jewell Fondren, suffers from osteoporosis (a disease that causes bone to become weak and susceptible to fracture). Over the past 30 years, Jewell has experienced a hip fracture, spinal fractures, and has a hunched back that may have been caused by multiple spinal fractures. Jewell, who lives with her daughter, has difficulty walking, cannot bend, and finds her clothes don’t fit well because of her hunched back. Two years ago, Priscilla seemed to be heading toward the same fate as her mother when she suffered from back pain. Priscilla went to see her doctor and discovered she had a spinal fracture. She was also diagnosed with osteopenia or low bone mineral density that can lead to osteoporosis. “I just thought I was getting older,” she said. “I didn’t know my bones were breaking, but when my doctor told me I had a spinal fracture, I was very surprised.” Like Priscilla, the estimated 44 million Americans at risk for osteoporosis are often unaware that they have the disease until they break a bone, according to the National Osteoporosis Foundation (NOF), sponsors of National Osteoporosis Awareness and Prevention Month. However, today more information is known about the risk factors for osteoporosis and fractures. If you have a low bone mineral density coupled with one or more other risk factors, you are at increased risk of having an osteoporosis-related fracture over the next 10 years, according to a recent publication by the World Health Organization (WHO). These risk factors include a previous fracture, a parent who has had a hip fracture, smoking, taking steroid medications, drinking three or more glasses of alcohol daily, and suffering from rheumatoid arthritis or from a disorder strongly associated with osteoporosis. Less was known about osteoporosis years ago when Priscilla’s mother was prescribed pain pills and bed rest to manage her osteoporosis-related spinal fractures. Treatments are now available to help strengthen bones, and new procedures have been developed to repair spinal fractures. When Priscilla experienced her spinal fracture, her primary care physician referred her to orthopaedic surgeon Dr. Edward Pratt* of the Memphis Spine Center, who treated her spinal fracture with balloon kyphoplasty. Balloon kyphoplasty is a minimally invasive procedure that can reduce back pain and correct the deformity caused by a spinal fracture. Small balloons are inserted and inflated in the fractured area of the spine to restore it back to its normal shape. After the balloons are deflated and removed, the cavity that has been created is filled with special bone cement, creating an internal cast. Priscilla is exceedingly close to her mother. They spend afternoons on their parlor couch, reminiscing about their years together or sitting quietly as Priscilla reads and her mother knits. However, she knows that she does not want to suffer the same fate as her mother.

“Osteoporosis has kept Mama from being as mobile as I knew her years ago,” Priscilla said. “Her movements are restricted. She cannot bend nor do many activities around the house. Her walking is limited.” When Priscilla experienced her second spinal fracture in 2007 and her activities became restricted due to the back pain, she decided to take action to avoid her mother’s fate. She again had her fracture repaired with balloon kyphoplasty and now exercises regularly and takes prescription drugs and calcium supplements to prevent more bone loss. “Today I do everything,” she said. “We have a two-story home, and I am always going up and down the steps, and I couldn’t do that before the (balloon kyphoplasty) procedures because of my back pain. I am also gardening again. I walk two miles a day and work out on weight machines. I am a very active person. I don’t sit.” The National Osteoporosis Foundation estimates that one in two women and one in four men over age 50 will experience an osteoporosis-related fracture in their lifetime. Dr. Pratt believes that efforts like National Osteoporosis Prevention and Awareness Month are helping to raise much needed awareness of the risks and treatments for osteoporosis and related fractures. “The world is beginning to gradually wake up and see that osteoporosis is a problem and that the best way to treat it is to stay ahead of it,” says Dr. Pratt. To learn more about osteoporosis, visit the National Osteoporosis Foundation at www. nof.org. For more information about spinal fractures, take the risk assessment, go to www.spinalfracture.com. *Paid consultant of Medtronic Although the complication rate with KYPHON® Balloon Kyphoplasty has been demonstrated to be low, as with most surgical procedures, there are risks associated with the procedure, including serious complications. This procedure is not for everyone. A prescription is required. Please consult your physician for a full discussion of risks and whether this procedure is right for you. For more information please call Medtronic at 1-888-645-4444 and/or visit www.kyphon.com.

If you’re over 50 or have osteoporosis, it’s important that you don’t ignore your back pain. It may signal a spinal fracture. See your doctor right away if you think you may have one.

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Spinal fractures can be repaired if diagnosed. KYPHON® Balloon Kyphoplasty is a minimally invasive treatment for spinal fractures that can correct vertebral body deformity, reduce pain and improve patient quality of life.

before

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For more information on balloon kyphoplasty or to ﬁnd a local physician performing the procedure, call 800-652-2221 or visit www.kyphon.com Although the complication rate with KYPHON® Balloon Kyphoplasty has been demonstrated to be low, as with most surgical procedures, there are risks associated with the procedure, including serious complications. This procedure is not for everyone. A prescription is required. Please consult your physician for a full discussion of risks and whether this procedure is right for you. © 2008 Medtronic Spine LLC. All Rights Reserved.

MEDTRONIC Spinal and Biologics Business 1221 Crossman Avenue Sunnyvale, CA 94089 USA Tel: (408) 548-6500 16003152_002 [01]

The SLEEP DISORDERS CENTER

contents MARCH 2011

metro ®

Volume 5, Number 10

columns 12 The Way I See It Everyday miracle workers

16 Mars & Venus My perfect weakness

18 Modern Motherhood Flower petal discipline

19 HomeWorks

features

30 ways to simplify your life

23 Outside In

Salt & Light

Becoming a spiritual leader in the workplace

The little lighthouse

24 Let’s Talk it Over

Christian Leaders of the Future Local high school seniors who walk in faith, lead with their hearts and honor the Lord

Influence requires sacrifice

38 All in the Family The goal is to let them leave

40 Legal Advice Living trust or will?

departments 15 Our Daily Bread

How do you keep the faith?

20 Let’s Get Real A Chocolate chip cookie life

22 Welcome Home

Update and protect your home with iron

41 Food For Thought Bake-n-take

44 Rave Reviews Books, movies and music

42 Money Talks College preparation

What’s Coming Next Month? Dr. and Mrs. Jerry Young of New Hope Baptist Church - Their Faith Story

in every issue 8 11 45 46

Editor’s Letter A 1000 Words Event Calendar Quips & Quotes

Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc., Member, M.I.P.A. Editor: Marilyn Tinnin marilyn@metrochristianliving.com Associate Editor: Christi B. Steckel christi@metrochristianliving.com Administrative Assistant: Carol Rodgers carol@metrochristianliving.com Art Direction/Graphic Design Sandra K. Goff Sales Marilyn Tinnin, Christi B. Steckel Contributing Writers: Nancy Lottridge Anderson, Chris Bates, Lydia Bolen, Susan Deaver, John Cox, Cathy Haynie, William B. Howell, Julie Laperouse, Heather May, Susan E. Richardson, Suzanne Sansing, Lee Smith, Robin O’Bryant, Marcus Williams, Martin E. Willoughby Jr. Cover Photography Contributed Distribution Assistants: Laura Blackledge, Kim Roberts, Carol Rodgers, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Priscilla Sullivan, Bob Whatley

Metro Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Metro Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Metro Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2008 by Metro Christian Living, Inc. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of International Bible Society.

Metro Christian Living is published monthly and is available at high traffic locations throughout the metropolitan area. Copies are also available by subscription, $29 for one year. Single issues available for $3 an issue. POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Metro Christian Living, 573 Highway 51 North, Suite C, Ridgeland, MS 39157, phone number 601-790-9076.

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6 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

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➺editor’s letter Mulling over Milestones just celebrated a birthday. It was one of those mile-markers that end in “zero.” Safe to say, I had been watching the calendar for months, making jokes as though I was taking it all in stride, but I confess to waking in the middle of the night to crystal clear memories flashing like old movies in my mind. Doesn’t life seem a little bit backward at times? If only I had known decades ago the things I know now. As I gaze at these fresh faces on the cover of this month’s magazine, I wonder how they view the future stretching before them like a highway without end. I wonder if they have any idea that time really does fly and that life is truly not a dress rehearsal. Every single God-given day is precious. Make the moments count because those seemingly insignificant and random moments multiply and they compose what will become a personal life story. The next few months are filled with decisions for students and parents and not all of them as earth-shaking as we pretend they are. I date myself terribly when I remember my arrival on the Ole Miss campus in 1969. My roommate and I arrived in Oxford looking every bit like the sheltered little country girls we were. Decorating our room in Stewart Hall meant a quick trip to Fred’s Dollar Store where we purchased matching ribbed cord bedspreads for five dollars each. That was about as extravagant as anyone got in those days. Our mothers spent less than five minutes worrying over the décor of the dorm room. And since I didn’t suffer any psychological damage that I can remember, I can safely assume nobody else’s mother gave it a second thought either. With each of my children, it seemed the list of essentials became a little longer. I think both of their freshman dorm rooms were worthy of a spot in House Beautiful. It has been a while, but I don’t remember that the décor did one thing to boost their GPA’s! Dreams fly high as graduation approaches. Parents have imagined this occasion for a long time. They greet it with a certain amount of ambivalence. It is hard to let go. While students eagerly anticipate the freedom and independence of college life, parents wake up in the middle of the night playing sentimental videos in their mind’s eye of the “firsts”; first tooth, first step, first grade, firsts and more firsts. Life is definitely turning a page for everyone. Families are on the threshold of something that causes a lot of anxiety – CHANGE! Milestones are always occasions for soul searching too; a little reflection, a little introspection and a whole lot of that “Be-still-and-know” kind of time when we tune out the noise of the urgent and consider the deeper questions of a life journey. Have you ever noticed that Jesus was forever asking people right before He healed them, “What do you want?” Wouldn’t you think it was obvious that a blind person wanted to see and a lame person wanted to walk? I can just imagine that right before they almost blurted out something very stupid they took a look into those penetrating eyes of the Lord and realized He was talking about something more than the obvious. There is no “good life” apart from Christ in me. What is it we want most of all? We sincerely hope that this special issue of Christian Leaders of the Future will inspire and encourage you. We were honored to receive applications this year from 100+ high school seniors. Their stories showed a depth of faith beyond their years. Christ has called His followers to be light in a dark world, and I can promise you these young Christian Leaders have their lights shining full beam! Y

Teach us to ❝ number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom

❞

– Psalm 90:12

8 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and Editor marilyn@metrochristianliving.com

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10 MARCH 2011 â?&#x2DC; Metro Christian Living

a1000 words

Leadership.

❝

❞

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. – Max Lucado

metrochristianliving.com ❘ MARCH 2011 11

➺the way i see it by MARTIN E. WILLOUGHBY, JR.

Everyday

MIRACLE WORKERS Are you on a mission to deliver the good news?

few years ago, I heard a eulogy for a woman who had died tragically way before her time.

Her pastor talked at length about the strength of her faith and how she was a delivery person of God’s miracles. In fact, one thing she did sticks out in my mind to this day. She prepared homeless kits that she would keep in her car. Whenever she encountered people down on their luck, she would provide them with one of the kits she had put together to try to help them on their way. She knew that she could not solve the world’s problems, but she was available to do her part to be a blessing to others. When she died, they found several of these kits in her car. She was on mission until the end. It is easy to know a lot about Jesus, but not really know Him. There are countless books written on Christianity, many of which are very enriching and encouraging. However, book knowledge of Christ does not change your life. It is an interaction with the Living God, the creator of the universe that changes your life. I can speak from experience of having head knowledge about faith, but no heart knowledge. My faith was flat, and I was going through the motions. I did not experience the fruits of the Spirit. I thought there had to be more. It was only once I encountered God miraculously at work that I truly began to really know Him. Some may doubt God even exists or that He still works miracles. I admit that I believe that our Creator can and does work miracles today. The question then is; how does He work those miracles? Often, we are the delivery vehicle for God’s miracles. If we act as God prompts us to, we can bless people with God’s life changing miracles. Bruce Wilkinson, best-selling author of The Prayer of Jabez, makes a strong argument in his more recent book entitled You Were Born For This, that we should expect God to work miracles in our everyday life. His book 12 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

is full of encouraging stories about modern day miracles. I am not talking about parting the Red Sea, but everyday miracles when people reach out and deliver help to others in pivotal points of need. Have you ever had the feeling that you were supposed to say something to somebody or Wilkinson calls this a “Holy nudge.” God is prompting us. I don’t know about you, but far too many times I have justified not acting on that nudge. To be involved in God’s everyday miracles, Wilkinson suggests that we first need to realize that God has called us to be on mission with Him in kingdom activity. We may be a parent, spouse, worker, neighbor, but first and foremost, we are adopted children of God called to be on mission with Him in this world. We also need to have a heart for God’s people. That means it is not just people we know or like, it is all of God’s people. As miracle delivery workers, we are not acting in our own power. We are leaning on God and acting in partnership with the Holy Spirit. Finally, we have to take risks, and we have to get outside our comfort zone to act when we get that “Holy nudge.” For example, Wilkinson shared that he keeps money in his wallet he calls his “God Pocket” that he has earmarked for miracle opportunities. He is ready. Like Wilkinson and his “God Pocket” or the woman with her homeless kits, we all have the ability to be God’s everyday miracle delivery workers. Whose life could be changed forever because we were prepared and willing to act courageously on God’s “Holy nudges?” Y Martin E. Willoughby Jr. is an attorney/business consultant with Willoughby Law Group, PLLC, located in Ridgeland. He and his wife Nicki have two children, Ally and Trey, and live in Madison.

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14 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

our daily bread by SUSAN DEAVER

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Romans 12:10

How Do You Keep the FAITH? T his column is for sharing our faith with other readers. Sharing with and serving others changes us and reminds us that our time on earth is about much more than our own needs. To share your story or favorite scripture, please e-mail us at info@metrochristianliving.com.

Stacy Riley â&#x20AC;&#x153;For this reason I bow my knees before the Father.â&#x20AC;? Ephesians 3:14 This is the verse with which God blessed me when our son was diagnosed. It continues to carry me through the rough days. In April, 2008 our son was in the hospital having another VEEG (video eeg) conducted for excessive seizure activity. Daddy stopped by to visit as usual but the conversation was alarming. He had been to a follow up doctor appointment that day regarding a spot on his lung. The following week he was scheduled to see an oncologist. Thus began our two year journey with small cell carcinoma. God had been growing my walk of faith but Daddy had always played a huge part in many ways. Upon hearing the news my world became shaky. I had never seriously considered Daddy not being hereâ&#x20AC;Śwhat if?

Over the previous two years our son had received some disturbing medical diagnosis, but God had proved so faithful in providing for us in so many different ways. Always Daddy was there confirming and rejoicing with us. What if? Now I balanced our sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s medical situation and helped Momma and Daddy with his medical situation. It may have seemed to those aware of our situation that life was chaotic, but it never felt that way. There seemed to be a peace over every encounter. God provided a new verse for this time and it carried me through the ups and downs of Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cancer and eventually his homecoming. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.â&#x20AC;? Psalm 16:8 David and Stacy Riley are the parents of two boys, Jordan, 21, a student at MSU and Eric, 17. David is employed at Stuart C. Irby and Stacy is full time care giver of Eric. They are active believers at Parkway Baptist Church. Y

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metrochristianliving.com â?&#x2DC; MARCH 2011 15

➺mars and venus by HEATHER MAY

My Perfect Weakness

We sang a song in church a couple of weeks ago that had these lyrics: “I will believe You are strong enough In my weakness God be lifted up And I will sing lift Your praises high Lord be magnified You make all things new I will believe” Usually we like to sing about all the ways God helps us do things well. We claim verses like Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” We like to celebrate being “more than conquerors!” but weakness? Who wants to sing about weaknesses? I don’t know about you but I don’t like being weak. I get frustrated when I can’t do something right. No matter how hard I try though, there are some things I just can’t do very well. These are my weaknesses. Can anything good come from having weaknesses? We can’t possibly be good leaders if there are things we can’t do well. Surely God can’t use us unless we are perfect. Can He? Throughout scripture, God gives us examples of how He is glorified through the weaknesses of His children. Take Moses for example. When God called Moses to go command Pharaoh to let the Israelites go from Egypt, Moses immediately focused on his weakness. He said to the Lord, “Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” (Exodus 4:10) We know how the story turned out. God glorified Himself through Moses by calling him to do something he couldn’t do well. No one could have said that Pharaoh let the people go because Moses was a good persuader. He wasn’t. God worked through Moses’ weakness. What about Gideon? When God told Gideon to take his army and defeat the Midianites, Gideon’s response was similar to Moses’ response to God. “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” (Judges 6:15) The story of what God did through Gideon and the Israelite army here

16 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

is so amazing. God took the Israelite army that was already the weakest and lowest in number, and decreased the number of men even more! With just 300 men, God worked in them to defeat the Midianites by simply blowing horns and smashing jars. Because of all the noise, the Midianite army was startled and ended up being so disoriented that they killed all of their own people. God took their weakness and turned it into a way for Him to get all the glory! He let them know through their weakness that they could boast only in Him. But what do we do? We try to hide our weaknesses. We don’t want anyone to know we aren’t perfect. We wouldn’t dare let others know we don’t have it all together. They might discredit us if they knew what we struggled with. But did you know that in scripture, Paul says we should boast about our weaknesses? “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) We aren’t supposed to hide our weaknesses, scripture says we are supposed to boast about them and boast about them gladly. In our culture, perfection seems to be the standard. It’s not common to brag about the areas in our life where we struggle. But take a look at the examples God has given us of the amazing things He can do through someone who is willing to admit where they are weak. Moses and Gideon weren’t afraid to admit where they were weak, and God was able to use them in incredible ways. So the next time you feel unqualified to do what God has called you to do, realize that you have a weakness, and instead of beating yourself up about it, ask God to glorify Himself through it. Once we overcome our fears of letting people know what our weaknesses are, God will be able to exalt Himself in our lives even more, and we will be less tempted in boast in ourselves. Y Heather May is a writer, blogger, and sour candy fanatic who works in the marketing field and is currently working on her first book. She and her husband, Bryant, live in Brandon and attend Pinelake church.

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➺modern motherhood by ROBIN O’BRYANT Illustration by MARY MARGARET MINK

Flower Petal DISCIPLINE

Discipling your children is a never-ending battle. With three daughters born within four years of one another there are days when I feel like the only word I say is, “NO!” I am the parent and I must win, which means if they disobey me 499 times in one day, I must correct them 500 times. Although I don’t have the time, energy or mental capacity to keep score, I’d say that’s a pretty accurate daily estimate. Discipline is just so time-consuming. My children are pretty highspirited, emotional and stubborn, for which I am very thankful. I was the same way as a child and while I almost drove my mother straight into an asylum, my stubborn attitude served me well later in life. I don’t do “no” very well, but unfortunately neither do my children. I look forward to the success their “never say never” attitudes will bring them later in life. But for now, I must teach them how to obey and they must learn that I have their best interests at heart. No matter how they feel about my decisions, I am trying to prepare them for life outside of my home. Dinner is just one example of the daily battles I must wage and win with my oldest daughter, Aubrey. As I was cooking a few weeks ago, she wandered in and asked, “What’s for dinner?” “Does it matter?” I asked her. “You are going to cry unless I say Oreos. We are having tacos.” Cue screaming, wailing and gnashing of teeth.”I hate tacos! I only like burritos! You make them too spizzzy!” Aubrey wailed. I didn’t even have the energy to discuss her behavior with her; I scooped her up, placed her on her bed and said, “Time out.” For the next half hour, the timer would go off signaling her release and I would walk into her room to see if she was ready to come out and act like a human instead of a feral cat; she wasn’t. The crying would start again, I would say, “Time out,” walk out of the room and start the timer again. After thirty fun-filled minutes, it seemed she was ready to communicate again. “Honey, are you ready to stop crying and act like a big girl now?” I asked. “Momma, do you know what I feel like?” Aubrey asked me. “What?” “I feel like a flower you picked out of the dirt and pulled all my petals off.” Oh the drama, the descriptiveness, the sheer imagination!

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“If you were a flower and I picked you out of the dirt, I would never pull off your petals. I would put you in my fanciest vase on the kitchen table so everyone could see you,” I replied. “You would?” She sniffled. I nodded and finally pulled her out of the bed and held her hand as we walked to the kitchen to her now cold taco. I sat beside her at the bar in our kitchen as she took a small bite and looked at me with a smile, tears still clinging to her eyelashes. “Momma, this is good. I like it.” My head dropped to the counter in exhaustion as I took a brief glance at my mental scoreboard. Mommy-1 Kids-0, and wondered what it must feel like to be God. He has children he made the ultimate sacrifice for, and yet we still push Him. We beg, we plead and (I hope I’m not just speaking for myself here) we stomp our feet like impatient toddlers when He doesn’t give us the answer we want when we want it. Psalm 25:5-9 reads, “Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, Lord your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, Lord, are good.” How fortunate we are to serve a God who remembers us according to His Love instead of our sin and even when we look like a wilted flower, He considers us worthy of the Glory that is Christ. Now if He would just help me to forget my kids’ rebellious ways. Y Robin O’Bryant is a wife, stay-at-home-mother to three daughters, author, humor columnist and speaker. She thanks God for the days she is successfully able to multi-task. Read her blog at www.robinschicks.com or contact her via email at robinschicks@gmail.com.

❋

homeworks by CATHY HAYNIE

30 WAYS Simplify Your Life

The words,“simplify your life,” are great buzz words. After all, who doesn’t want less to do, less to deal with and things to go a little more smoothly in the crazy times? The first place of focus for me is to quit talking about and dwelling on how busy things are. This mindset is often distracting and time consuming. And isn’t “busy” the most common answer to the question, “How are you?” Let’s work today to answer with an optimistic, “Great! How are you?” instead of starting our “busy” conversation all over again. Below you will find 30 ideas for simplifying your life. Take a pen to the list and see if you can’t find a new habit or two to make your life less stressed and a little easier. “This constant, unproductive preoccupation with all the things we have to do is the single largest consumer of our time and energy.” – KERRY GLEASON.

Fill up the car when the tank is half full.

12.

Adopt the house rule: Don’t just put it down, put it away.

24.

Don’t answer the phone during dinner.

Keep a magnet pad on the side of the fridge for you and your family to add items to the list as you run out.

13.

Make dinner decisions the night before.

25.

14.

Severely limit children’s activities, lessons and sports.

De-clutter by clearing off kitchen and bath counters, the front of the fridge, and the console of your car.

15.

Make the bed every day as your feet hit the floor.

26.

Keep a supply of household items like toilet paper, light bulbs, and batteries.

16.

Pay bills online, setting up auto pay and auto save.

27.

Always keep a little cash and change in your wallet.

17. 18.

Maintain a well-stocked pantry.

28.

Plan 5 to 10 great menus on index cards; menu on one side and grocery list on the reverse.

19. 20.

Have one place for mail.

29.

Use baskets wherever you tend to pile clutter.

Teach little kids to set the table, middle school aged kids to do laundry, and teenagers to do yard work.

30.

Buy each family member one jumbo package of their own kind of white sock and get rid of the rest.

Remember, the list isn’t meant to overwhelm or overhaul, just pick a couple to focus on as new or improved habits. But most of all, what will you say when someone asks you how you are today? I hope you aren’t too busy to remember!

3. 4.

Keep house plants to a minimum.

Have a place to drop keys, phone and bag close to the door.

6. 7. 8.

Keep a travel toiletry bag packed.

Sort laundry as you go by having a basket for lights and a basket for darks near where each family member dresses.

10.

Pack lunches, work bag and school bag the night before.

21.

Keep evenings free, or at least set a limit to nights out.

11.

Have a place for duplicate keys and stock it for emergencies.

22. 23.

Use a crock-pot often.

Keep only one credit card in your wallet.

Sort mail over the trash. Double and freeze one meal a week.

Keep grocery sacks in the car for trash and quick clean-outs.

Leave 10 minutes early.

Cathy Haynie and her husband Jack have three children and live in Madison. Cathy is the Headmaster of Christ Covenant School in Ridgeland. She occasionally speaks to groups on Honoring God in the Home, Managing the Busy Life, and Balancing Work and Home. Contact her at chaynie@christcovenantschool.net. metrochristianliving.com ❘ MARCH 2011 19

➺let’s get real by JULIE LAPEROUSE

A Chocolate Chip Cookie Life

I’ve been at home with a sick baby this week. Actually, she’s been sick off and on for weeks, but this week seems to be the pinnacle of the yuck. The doctors have diagnosed her

with several different big word things, but I’m pretty sure the layman’s term is “boogers everywhere.” It’s not fun at all, and honestly, it would be very easy to stand back and dwell on how objectionable it is to sit at home for several days with an unhappy, unhealthy child. However, this too shall pass and next week when we’re both back up and running, these few dreary days will seem a distant memory. I heard a preacher say once that when we’re in a rough spot in our lives we tend to dwell on that one small dark cloud instead of stepping back to look at our lives as a whole and how generally good they are. He equated it to baking cookies. He talked about how eating plain flour or cooking oil isn’t all that appealing, but when you mix them with sugar, eggs and chocolate chips, the final product is arguably awesome. Similarly, in our lives, we all go through some “flour and oil” patches that are unpleasant and if we choose to put on our blinders and only look at one section of our lives at a time, we could very easily slip into “why me” mode. This time of year tends to bring about a great deal of change. Soon-tobe college and high school graduates look towards the next phase of their lives. People tend to make job changes and buy or sell homes more in the spring. Particularly during these trying economic times, people are finding changes facing them every time they turn around. Sometimes we find that in all this change, there is a great deal of

anxiety or uncertainty and we often allow ourselves to develop a negative outlook on our entire lives because of it. When we’re in the throes of a bad spot, it’s sometimes literally all we can see. Regardless of whether the past few months have been prosperous and healthy, if this month isn’t, then this month’s downbeat situation is the prevailing focus of our attitude and psyche. No one has figured out the formula to bake cookies without oil and flour, and likewise, no one has ever been able to successfully navigate an entire lifetime without a few “oil and flour” periods. They are going to happen, sometimes with fervor and frequency. Instead of dwelling on the distaste of the oil and flour alone, we can make a choice to look at our lives as a whole; the product that comes out after all the ingredients are mixed and it has time to bake. Only God knows what our lives will turn out to be and how much of each ingredient will be present when it’s all said and done. We have to have faith that the end product is something that is worth the bumps in the road and stay focused on the whole when the part we’re faced with today is the bump. I have a feeling most of us know deep inside that we will have a nice warm batch of cookies if we give it time to bake. Y Julie Laperouse is Founder and President of Screaming Peacock Training & Speaking. Julie and Paul live in Ridgeland and have one daughter, Annie Grace and expecting another little girl this summer. You can contact her at Julie@screamingpeacock.org or visit www.screamingpeacock.org

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➺welcome home by MARILYN TINNIN

UPDATE and PROTECT

your Home with Iron Just in time for spring consider giving your home an update with iron. Wrought iron has been an essential design element in European homes for centuries, but its popularity in the United States has soared in recent years as Americans have fallen in love with the flavor of French country. Even if you can’t start from scratch, there are a million things you can do with iron pots, wall mounted grill work, an iron console, a bench or a pair of sconces. We visited Mississippi Ironworks and discovered a showroom filled with inspiration for transformation! We also discovered they do custom design work. If you can imagine it, they can probably make it for you. Security is another feature that has affected the growing requests for iron. From gates and fences to front doors, families, as well as individuals living alone, can make their homes safer without sacrificing the desire for style. Over the last twelve months, more law enforcement personnel have invested in these products than in the previous twenty-five years of Mississippi Ironworks businesses. Whether you are the individual or the law enforcement official hand-crafted, all steel products not only

22 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

add the final touch to your home, but more importantly, secure your home when you are away, preventing home invasions. With high energy costs being a major concern for all families, energy-efficient steel security doors function as a strong storm door, providing dead air space between existing doors. For those who remember the “good ole days” when one could get fresh air through screen doors and open windows, Mississippi Ironworks has an optional, vented top, as well as a new, hinged glass on our “Verona” series. Subsequently, allowing you to receive fresh air while maintaining your safety. An original concern for families was having insulation and security without obstructing the view of the outside. “Secure safe” glass offers a full-view while maintaining safety. From wood-grain finishes to custom faux finishes, there is something for everyone’s taste. With an uncertain economy, including rising fuel costs many individuals see the necessity of having these products, Mississippi Ironworks product is steel and their strength is security. Welcome yourself home with peace of mind by protecting your home. Y

by CHRIS BATES

➺

outside in

Becoming a

SPIRITUAL LEADER

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IN THE WORKPLACE

My old black Labrador retriever turned to me with a penetrating gaze to see which direction I would send her for the first retrieve of the morning. In one split second her look conveyed anticipation and determination, yet it also yearned for direction, guidance and permission. That moment with the brightening horizon in the background reminded me to the core that a key part of my opportunity as a man is to provide direction, guidance and approval to those around me. Why often does that seem difficult as a Christian man in the workplace? You will not hear me claim to have lived without significant mistakes or not have endured major challenges in life as a business leader. We as Christians are promised a happy destiny, but we are not promised that the journey will always be easy. Our careers and work lives hit roadblocks and trials, whether by a downturned economy or any multitude of other reasons. We face aggravating inner-office daily grind disagreements, challenges motivating employees, tough ethical monetary decisions and cut-throat competitors. In my career path as an executive director, business owner and now marketing company president, I have been consistently inundated with tough choices, desires to take shortcuts, feelings of burnout, personality conflicts and the like. Admittedly, I have chosen wrong many times amidst many bountiful successes. C.S. Lewis tells us that “Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.” What choices do we make each day, how are we led, and how do we interweave Christian principles into our careers? Our greatest challenges are also our greatest opportunities, if we choose for them to be so with God’s guidance. Admiration from those around us is most honestly earned through transparency and example. Therein lies opportunities to be God designed spiritual leaders. It is actually easier to simply bark orders. I worked for those guys early on, and I certainly did not admire them, nor was I internally motivated. If guidance and direction are the goals, can we not first live daily as God would have us, and in turn lead others by example and help them down their own spiritually led paths? It is the tougher way to work and live in an all too secular world. Lewis also

Pearl

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601-825-5080 reminds us in The Case for Christianity that “This year, or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practice ourselves the kind of behavior we expect from other people.” God grants opportunities to me every day to be a vessel for His message. The problem lies in the fact that most of the time I miss them. While I fully believe that, as men, the best of us are true partners to our family members and those with whom we work with, we are also called to something more. These thoughts are not exclusive to men in the workplace by any means. In fact, sometime we men tend to charge ahead without as much thought as our female counterparts..A man’s role as a strong leader in the workplace, just as with his family, is not to be oppressive when providing direction and guidance. Rather it lies in the opportunities from the role that we are often given. Luke 12:48 tells us, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” We are responsible then, to live by both example and transparency, and to work as God designed spiritual leaders. Y Chris is president of Agora Company, LLC, a marketing, business strategy and advertising company based in Ridgeland, and can be reached at Chris@AgoraCompany.com. He and his daughter, Anna Catherine, live in Jackson

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At some point, we all dream of becoming something great, to do something that inspires others and to leave a mark on the world that will not soon be forgotten. Maybe you don’t see it right now in your teenager whose greatest ambition is to reach the next level on his Xbox 360 game, but I assure you, the human heart knows that it was created for more than mediocrity. We are programmed, it seems, to long for purpose and to excel at whatever that purpose is. As we discover and live out our Godplanned purposes in life, our hope is that we influence others along the way. While we all long to live this kind of life, the truth is, many of us simply want it to be cost-free. We each desire to leave a legacy that will impact generations to come, but we seldom see moments of opposition and hardship as opportunities to invest in that legacy. Abraham faced an unbelievable moment when God asked him to sacrifice his own son. His faith-filled decision would change the destiny of his people forever. As he drew his knife back, ready to demonstrate his faith, God intervened. A ram was provided to take the place of his son. His trust and obedience was honored. And his legacy, well…you and I are still talking about him today. More than likely we will never be called to sacrifice our own children, but we all experience defining moments in our life; moments that are meant to be “game-changers” for us. Our church is in the middle of such a moment. We are collectively praying and asking God to help us Grow, Go and Give like never before for 24 months in the hopes that we will outlive our lives for His glory. Can I be honest with you? It is not easy. To commit to grow more, go more and give more requires a tremendous amount of sacrifice that makes me uncomfortable. I’m learning that my past “sacrifices” have only occurred to the degree that I could maintain my current way of living. My comfort zone has never really been stretched because I would simply not allow my normal way of life to be interrupted too much. Like a traffic cop, I would dictate how much of my life I would allow God to take control of. If I got too uneasy, I would blow my whistle and hold my hand up to God. In doing so, I settled for an Americanized view of Christianity…one that puts me front in center in life instead of my Savior. The sobering reality is that God is more concerned with His glory than He is my comfort. He cares more about my eternal portfolio than He does my 401K. I am slowly learning that significant influence requires significant sacrifice. Can I ask you some questions that I recently asked myself? What type of legacy would you leave the world if your life ended tonight? What would your spouse and children remember most about you? Would you hear the sweet words every believer longs to hear, “Well done my good and faithful servant”? Can I challenge you to not do what I have done in the past, and that is to question what I could sacrifice without changing the way I live? God’s desire is for us to ask how He wants us to impact the world and then adjust our life to make it happen. I used to ask, “What kind of mission does God have for me?” Now, I’m trying to ask, “What kind of me does God want for His mission?” Can you imagine what God could do in our families, our churches and our city if each of us lived all in and all out for Him? What’s stopping you? Y

I’m learning that my past “sacrifices” have only occurred to the degree that I could maintain my current way of living.

Lee Smith is a Small Group Pastor at Pinelake Church and a contract therapist at Summit Counseling. He and his wife, Jenni have two children, Ford and Millie. The Smiths are in the process of adopting their third child from Ethiopia. Lee can be reached by dialing 601.949.1949.

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➺salt & light

by MARILYN TINNIN and illustration by KATE THOMAS

The Little Lighthouse

In its fourth year of operation, this tuition free developmental center for children ages birth to six is bursting at the seams. Director Maureen

Harbinson opened this school in 2006 on a shoestring, a prayer and a certainty that God had called her to it. Her enthusiasm has not dimmed, and God continues to bless her commitment to early intervention in the lives of little ones who struggle with a variety of challenges, “There is not a disorder we will not take here,” she says. It is impossible not to connect the Little Lighthouse’s method of operation with the way Jesus met people…where they were and reached out to them exactly in that place. Although, they do not pretend to be in the business of “miracles,” the Little Lighthouse staff is committed to helping every child reach his or her full potential. Among its twenty students, you will find those with Spina Bifida, Down syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Autism and a few more diagnoses that once left parents baffled in the search for the right “fit” for their special child. What makes the Little Lighthouse unique is the individualized curriculum that is tailored to each student. There are measurable objectives and accountability in tracking progress. From gross motor skills to social impact and emotional development and fine motor skills, each student is constantly reaching for new milestones that will help them integrate into the everyday world. With much one-on-one attention,

26 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

students work on their skills for five hours a day, four days each week. Speech, physical and occupational therapy are also offered on a weekly basis. Maureen is a registered nurse. She and her husband Colin spent years with the ministry, Youth With a Mission (YWAM.org) taking short term mission trips all over the globe. In her travels to Bulgaria, Russia and China, Maureen was grieved to see how these cultures treated children who were born with a disability. They were considered “non-persons.” She could help with many physical problems through her nursing skills, but she knew there were greater needs and she longed to address them. She wanted to make a difference because she was certain these children had the ability to accomplish so much more than the world was expecting. The thought became her passion as she became keenly aware of the difficulties families of special needs children everywhere faced from the beginning. Further research stressed the importance of early intervention, and yet there were so few options for the very young, When Colin took a short term position in Tulsa, Maureen went along and thought she might find a few places to volunteer. There, she discovered the original Little Lighthouse, (www.littlelighthouse.org) an amazing school begun by a mother of a special needs child. Maureen was captivated

watching the students blossom and learn. She knew this her birth. Allison explains the sense of frustration and was not by chance that her passion for special needs sadness she experienced in those first days because she had children had collided with the Little Lighthouse and its absolutely no idea what she was supposed to do next. What unique ministry. She knew, too, that one day somewhere, were reasonable expectations and how could she help her she would start a Little Lighthouse school (LLH). baby? Two of her friends started the research for her. They “Our scripture here is Jeremiah 29:11,” says contacted the Little Lighthouse and took the first step in Maureen. (I know the plans I have for you declares the getting the admission process started. Lord, plans to prosper you and not to hard you, plans to “The Little Lighthouse is unique,” Allison says. “It’s give you hope and a future) “God’s plans for these little exactly where children with all sorts of special needs are to ones are for good and there is such hope for their future. be to receive that extra help in developing and getting a Our whole mission is to improve the quality of life for good start early in life.” As Joellen will transition into a these children.” regular preschool program in the fall, Allison tells of great The Little Lighthouse And so the Little Lighthouse of Central Mississippi Tea Party and Fashion Show strides her daughter has made at Little Lighthouse. “…it began in January, 2006 with seven children. The Church is important to our family that the LLH be there long at The Fairview Inn at Northshore generously allowed the school to use its after Joellen graduates for every child who needs it. Our Saturday, March 5 from space. Word spread quickly about the little school. By family has taken an active role in fundraising and events 2:00-4:00. Tickets are free, but 2008, the school had grown to three classes and twenty like the Tea Party are essential to the future of the seating is limited. For more students. They have grown wall-to-wall in their LLH.” information, visit www.llms.org or present home, but have been unable to find a new Operating without any federal funds, Maureen has call 601-829-3446. home. seen God supply their needs over the years. Maureen laments the fact that she has a present Donations of the $10 to $10,000 variety, along with waiting list of 35 children. Parents frequently call a few grants have been enough to keep the doors open. During the recent her before they have even left the hospital with a newborn, and it is always downturn in the economy staff voluntarily took a reduction in pay so that disappointing to her as well as to these anxious new parents to hear that there would be no reduction in service to their students. Keeping LLH there is a wait. tuition free is important to Maureen. It’s all part of her philosophy of Allison Talley’s four year-old daughter Joellen was added to the waiting ministry. “We run as a family here,” Maureen says. And they do – as one list as a newborn. Her Down syndrome diagnosis came just minutes after big and very happy one. Y

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Command and teach these things. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Timothy 4:11-12

Metro Christian Living is pleased to present the 2011 Christian Leaders of the Future. Over 100 high school seniors from 40 different schools submitted essay applications, answering questions about their faith and leadership experiences. The applications were reviewed by a diverse panel of judges working independently. It is very evident that God is at work in each student. As you will read, they show a real sense of leadership and faith in action. We congratulate all who walk in faith, honor the Lord and lead with their heart. metrochristianliving.com â?&#x2DC; MARCH 2011 29

Activities

LANDON ADAMS Carthage High School First Baptist Church Carthage

Cheerleading, Mu Alpha Theta, National Honor Society, Spanish Club, Sociedad Honoraria Hispanica, school musicals and active in the Community Service Club. Volunteers at the Mississippi Craft Center camps, Salvation Army and Habitat for Humanity.

Favorite Bible Passage “Two things I ask of you, LORD; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.” – Proverbs 30:7-9 Though the world today seems to be increasingly hostile to Christianity, I know that there are people who are waiting for the hole in their heart to be filled, and it can only be filled with God. These people will never be filled if they never hear, and they will never hear unless someone goes to them. Send me! I’ll go! If God wants me in the heart of Africa, I will go. If God wants me in small town USA, I will go. This is the reason I live; to finish the work my savior started here on earth. I will love people with the love Jesus showed me. Though I will be a fool in the eyes of the world, I will have favor in the eyes of my King. When someone asks why it is that I am different, I will be ready to respond with the good news. That is how I will live out my faith.

Activities

FCA president, Student Council president, BETA, FFA, Cross country and football manager. Active youth member, plays the piano and helps with the children during vacation bible school and Boys and Girls Club.

ERIN BALL Jackson Prep Christ United Methodist Church of Jackson Favorite Bible Passage “…I have been crucified with Christ. I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” – Galatians 2:19-20 I have grown up in a Christian family and have always known about God and his amazing love. I accepted Christ into my life when I was about 5 years old, and ever since then, I have grown and matured in my relationship with Him. In 7th grade, I went on a retreat with my church called Breakthru. That was the first time I really understood the love Christ had for me, and that if I wanted to love Him truly, I would have to know Him. In 11th grade, I was a leader at Junior High Breakthru, and that retreat was when I again felt my life take a turn. I realized that I must become independent and depend only on God, not people. I finally felt like God was close to me and really loved me, and I began to recognize Him in my daily life. God has continued to teach me and help me mature spiritually since then. I love God so much, and I cannot express in words how much He has meant to me. 30 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

BRAD BAXTER Clinton High School First Baptist Church Clinton Favorite Bible Passage “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’” – Isaiah 6:8 I guess you could say that I grew up in the church. My parents grew up in Christian homes; so going to church was almost required. This was not a bad thing, however. Because of my regular attendance at Sunday school, I learned a lot about the Bible, but I didn’t really have a relationship with God, just knowledge of facts. At about age six, I became more interested in Dr. Boyd’s sermons. Instead of drawing on the back of Prayer Request cards, I began to actually open my Bible and listen. After hearing several of the sermons, I began asking my parents questions about what Dr. Boyd had preached. I remember one Friday night in particular. After we ate supper, I asked my dad about salvation. He quickly knew where the conversation was headed, so he turned off the television and sat on the floor with me. We talked about what salvation is and how God offers eternal life to each of us through His son, Jesus Christ! The following Sunday, my parents and I gave Dr. Boyd a visit to talk about the decision that I wanted to make. After we discussed this, I knew I was ready. I asked Jesus into my life!

Activities

Baseball team, National Honor Society, Fellowship of Christian Athletes officer, Students Against Destructive Decisions, Safety Club, and Honors Science Club. Active member of First Baptist Church, Clinton’s Synergy Youth Ministry and volunteers at Community Christian Corporation and Relay for Life.

CALLIE BROWN Manchester Academy First Baptist Church Yazoo City Favorite Bible Passage

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11 I can never remember a time in my life when I did not attend church or a time in my life when my parents were not encouraging me to love God with all my heart. When I was eight years old at Lake Forest Ranch church camp, I asked Jesus to come and live in my heart. I think at this time I did truly love God and knew I needed a Savior. A

few years later, my faith was truly tested. My daddy passed away on April 13, 2008. With this being a day before my fifteenth birthday, I remember thinking why today God? Tomorrow is my day, and now it is ruined, but then it finally hit me. God was allowing me to go through this situation not only to strengthen my family and me but also for me to realize my selfish desires. When I realized these things, I knew all I needed was to cling to Christ. At this point, I began to realize God’s purpose for my life. God had allowed me to go through previous circumstances to lead up to what He had in store for me. Through the loss of my father, Christ drew me closer to him. With my life now, I hope to live as a testimony for others to see not only how I dealt with the situation, but how God revealed himself in trying times.

Activities

Cheerleading, tennis, Secretary/Treasurer of Student Council, member of Students Against Destructive Decisions (S.A.D.D), Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Leads worship in chapel, founding officer of the MA Ambassadors. Member of Drama Club, active in youth group and volunteers at Gateway “Make a Promise” coalition, “Manna House,” and Boys and Girls Club.

COURTNEY COX Jackson Academy Christ United Methodist Church Favorite Bible Passage “So then, just as you have received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him; rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith that you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” – Colossians 2:6-7 Living out my faith intentionally in this world starts with foundation. My life needs to be rooted in Jesus for me to take another step. Being plugged into the Lord gives me the strength, hope and love to show Jesus to others. I firmly believe in reading the Bible, not as something one feels that they should do, but read it for application and growth. I also believe in the power of prayer and worship. Communicating with the Lord through prayer and worship is essential in one’s faith. Having these things as a foundation prepares me to be a witness for Christ. I also think surrounding myself with people who share my beliefs makes a difference. God created us as relational beings and having someone to hold me accountable and help me grow in faith helps one to be an ambassador for Christ. I realize I am in this world, but not of it. I am called to witness, and I think having friends and people in my life who do not believe as I do, challenges me in my faith. Ultimately, I believe that to show Jesus to people is to love them. So, if nothing else, I want people to know I am a Christian by my love.

Activities

Habitat for Humanity, Key Club, Spanish Club, Cooking Club, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, Jackson Futbol Club, Jackson Academy Junior High Soccer Team and Girl Scout USA member for 12 years. Volunteers at Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Mississippi Children’s Museum Youth Ambassador’s Council and Stewpot. She is active in her church youth group and choir, served on a mission trip servant and as a Sunday school teacher.

TRIPP DOWDY Clinton Christian Academy Morrison Heights Baptist Church Favorite Bible Passage “Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more.” – Romans 5:20 Sin saturates and consumes the world we live every day. I am a filthy and unclean sinner but my hope is found in the Lord’s grace. His grace has freed me to live righteously before Him. It is a struggle to live out my faith when I am constantly surrounded by sin and because I, myself am sinful. However, the Bible tells us not love the world. (1 John 2:15). It says that friendship with the world is enmity with God (James 4:4). Often this seems like an unbearable task, and I feel overwhelmed by my calling to be set apart. In the midst, of this enormity I am reminded of two specific truths. The first is found in John 16:33, “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world.” The second is found in 1 John 5:4, “For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith.” Living in the world but not loving the world becomes possible only through faith and the power of Jesus Christ. My goal is to pursue the heart of God and forsake the desires of the world. I plan to do this through humbling myself, fleeing from Satan and sin and running to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Activities

Football team, homecoming committee and the senior committee, Honor Roll and led a Bible study for the football team after school and served with Horses for Handicapped and the Special Olympics. Active in church youth group, Sunday school, youth leadership team, and leads worship for the praise team. Has served on mission trips to Dominican Republic, Haiti and Jamaica.

ANDREW FEHRENBACHER Homeschool Pear Orchard Presbyterian Church Favorite Bible Passage “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts…” – Isaiah 55:8-11. When trying to lead, there is a tendency to lean on your own strength. It is easy to force the issue when living out your faith. The Lord doesn’t call us to worry about what other people think. He calls us to “seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”(Matt.6:33). One way I want to live out my faith in Christ metrochristianliving.com ❘ MARCH 2011 31

is to keep it that way; faith in Christ alone. I don’t want my faith to gravitate to faith in how hard I work, who I marry, what job I have or any other situations I will face throughout life. I heard a story once about a boy who was given a bike. He opened the box and took out the bike, but then he played with the box! His family tried to show him how worthless this box was compared to the bike, but he was determined to play with the box. I am like that boy. I focus on how I can make an impact for Christ, yet I forget to enjoy Him! If I live for Christ, I must focus on taking up my cross daily and following Him, and not let this world be my guiding factor. Activities Leads a Bible study, volunteers at Blair E. Batson, Sonbeams, vacation Bible School, YMCA Good News Kids Club, Madison County Allied Against Poverty, We Will Go Ministries. Plays basketball and baseball for the Jackson Victors Homeschool Sports program. He has worked at Chalk Builders, Eagle Construction, Brandon Animal Clinic, Crossgates River Oaks Hospital swimming pool maintenance and lawn care work.

ELIJAH FRIEDEMAN Homeschool DaySpring Community Church Favorite Bible Passage “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you.” – Matthew 28:19-20 As our culture is adopting a postChristian mentality, the contrast between believers and non-believers is increasingly obvious. As the world continues to become less friendly towards Christians, I plan to live my life the same way that I do now. Even when Christianity is frowned upon or derided, I will continue to stand up for the unborn babies in the womb, to preach to the lost men in the prisons and be a light in the public schools. I want to live my life in such a way that everything I do is an example and testament of Jesus’ love and redemption. I don’t want to merely be a “good,” “religious,” or “moral” person. I want to be on fire with the love of Jesus. In many ways a world that is hostile towards Christianity will make our job as Christians simpler, because the difference in our actions will be so clear that those around us won’t be able to avoid noticing the presence of Jesus in our lives. Facing a world that is increasingly opposed to Christianity won’t be easy. But if living in an antagonistic world means that the truth of Jesus will be unmistakably evident in the lives of Christians, I can’t wait for the chance.

Activities

Christian Homeschool Educators Connections’s (CHEC) annual play, member of the National Homeschool Honor Society. Studied piano for six years, the past two as a student at the Taylor School of Music at Mississippi College. Volunteers for Angel Food, Hinds Community Detention Center, Book Buddy program at John Hopkins elementary school and is a regular blood donor. Earned Eagle Scout rank in Boys Scouts.

32 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

JACK GRIFFITH Jackson Preparatory School Galloway United Methodist Church Favorite Bible Passage “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” – Psalm 23:4 One main way that I have lived out my faith at school is through openly sharing Christianity and professing my faith to my non-Christian friends. I have many groups of friends around me at school, but the main group that I am with most come from different cultures and religious beliefs, including Christianity, Hinduism and Atheism. Every day at school, we always sit together and eat lunch and talk about random things. One day, the discussion of religion came up. My Atheist friend asked me to explain my conception of Christianity, because he had never really been part of a certain religion, and had heard just a few things about Christianity. So for that day, and for three lunch periods on the following days, I explained what Christianity was, how being a believer had forever changed my life, and answered any questions he had. After the final day of our discussion, he pulled me aside from the rest of the group and told me that he was interested in considering becoming a Christian, and that he wanted to keep talking to me about it. From that day on, we have been slowly walking through it, and I have continued to share my faith with him with the hope that one day he too will follow Christ, my Savior.

Activities

Chess State Championship team, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, Varsity football and track, Duke University talent identification program, Magna Cum Laude – National Latin Exam, Honor Roll. Active at church on the youth Leadership Team. Volunteers at Stewpot, Salvation Army, Red Cross, Bethlehem Center, MS Food Network, Goodwill, Grace Place, Habitat House and Katrina Emergency Assistance and Restoration

WILL HEDGEPETH Madison-Ridgeland Academy First United Methodist Church, Clinton Favorite Bible Passage “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13 The Christian leader that has impacted my life the most is my preacher. Not only do I know him well, he is my Dad. It has been an amazing experience to hear him preach about something and then see him live it out in his everyday life. I’m not planning to become a preacher, but I definitely hope to read words out of the Bible and put them to use as well as my father. He has taught me by example how to set priorities in life and reminds me continually to keep Christ the focus of

LAURA LEE LEWIS my life in all that I do. Our family lived on the Mississippi Gulf Coast during Hurricane Katrina and I remember being amazed at the willingness of my parents to help others even when our home and personal possessions were lost in the storm. Under my father’s guidance, the church he was serving opened one of the first locations to help others by providing shelter and help in recovery and rebuilding homes and lives. Schools were closed, so I immediately began volunteering at our church wherever I was needed. The experiences I had during the months following Katrina changed my life forever. I learned the true meaning of helping others and giving back to my community.

Activities

Varsity baseball and basketball teams, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, National Honor Society, Hunting and Fishing Club, Culinary Arts Club and the Features Pageant. Volunteers with elementary and junior high football, basketball, and baseball camps and served as a referee for junior high basketball games. Serves at The Salvation Army, Operation Christmas Child, Horses for the Handicapped, Riggs Manor and helping to serve as foster parents for CARA animals.

VICTORIA KWASNY Home School Pear Orchard Presbyterian Church Favorite Bible Passage “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’” – Jeremiah 29:11-12 Jesus set a perfect example of how to live out our faith in a world of increasing wickedness and destruction. In John 16:33, Jesus told His disciples, “‘I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’” As I walk out my Christianity in the world today, this verse is a great comfort to me. I am called to live in this world as an example of God’s love and grace through every circumstance. However, I know I am not able to do this in my own finite strength. The Lord has promised that He will graciously work through my own sinful self and shine His light. I must be absorbed in prayer and God’s Word to even begin to live out my Christianity. In the years to come, being a Christian in our world is going to become increasingly difficult. Yet, I am called to stand firm in my faith and share the gospel even through the hard times. Even though persecution and suffering will come, God will help me to stay strong in my faith if I just keep Him the center of my life. I must cling to Him and His truths alone.

Activities

Leader of the youth group music team and youth intern on the Sonbeams (Special Needs Ministry) committee at Pear Orchard. Volunteers at Little Light House, Joni and Friends and Children’s Choir.

Brookhaven High School First Baptist Church, Brookhaven Favorite Bible Passage “I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me.” – Philippians 4:13 reads I purposefully choose to take a stand for Christ and His Word even when I am in the minority, standing alone or persecuted for my faith. Being grounded in God’s Word, memorizing scriptures and knowing that His Word is the ultimate truth is where I find answers and strength in a world filled with hostility and negativism toward Christianity. I believe that painful experiences and trials we go through prepare and strengthen us for what God has planned for our lives and that He often turns our misery into our ministry. That was certainly the case for me. My encounter with a 5th grade bully and his mocking hurt me deeply, but the situation brought me to a crossroads in my life. I chose to turn the deep hurt I felt into a stepping stone to build stronger character in myself and others. My misery led to my ministry of starting a program which promotes good choices and good character. The program is called, “H.E.R.O. Making Good Choices.” It helps children and young teenagers to Honor God and their authorities, Excel in their talents and do their best, Reach for goals and stay busy, and Overcome situations. I travel the state presenting the H.E.R.O. program to young people. I tell them that God doesn’t make junk and that He will always be on your side. I remind them that God sees the inside of your heart and that is all that really matters.

Activities

Homecoming and musical productions, soloist and dancer, varsity cheer squad, soccer team, cross country team, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, National Honor Society, Praise and Worship Band Lead Singer. Volunteer at Operation Christmas Child, Samaritan’s Purse, Toys for Tots and Brookhaven Animal Rescue League.

KATHERINE MCCRACKEN Clinton High School First Baptist Church, Clinton Favorite Bible Passage “The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save, He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17. I try to live my life in a manner that will earn respect from my peers and that will not harm my witness. While I am not the most outspoken Christian at my school, I live by example. I do not initiate religious debates or retrieve my Bible from my backpack to read in the middle of class, but I will state my beliefs and opinion clearly and concisely if an opportunity arises, and I am more than willing to metrochristianliving.com ❘ MARCH 2011 33

MURRAY MILLER Jackson Preparatory School First Presbyterian Church help someone find a passage that may help him or her deal with life. My two diverse accountability partners keep me stay in line and encourage my spiritual growth. I intend to continue this way of living and befriend as many people as possible. As a Christ-like example, I hope to influence the people that I come into contact with and be available to help them in any way I can.

Activities

Clinton arrow swim team, honors biology and science club, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, girls’ ensemble/mixed chamber choir president, Students Against Destructive Decisions, French Club, Mu Alpha Theta, youth praise band, Sunday might Bible Study and Makos swim team.

KATHERINE MCGRATH Clinton High School Crossgates Baptist Church Favorite Bible Passage “For you shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight: for the LORD will go before you; and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” – Isaiah 52:12 I grew up in a Christian family. Unfortunately, my natural rebellious attitude pushed me away from the Christianity my family practiced. I feared that it would “cramp” my individuality. I went out and searched for alternatives to fill the void, but nothing satisfied. One of my school friends invited me on a church trip to the coast. I accepted because of my love for the beach. One night the speaker introduced me to Isaiah 6. At the time, I could not understand how Isaiah could have so much passion for a God that he (Isaiah) would want to go out and tell the whole world about Him just because He asked, “Who will go for Us?” All that I knew was that I wanted that same passion. So, for the first time, I prayed and asked God for forgiveness for my neglect toward Him and my family. I asked for Him to fill me with a passion for Him, and He did!

Activities

Band, Jazz Band. Students Against Destructive Decisions, National Honor Society, Youth in Government, Crown Club, Anchor Club, P.U.L.S.E.-branch of FCA. Volunteers at The Christmas Village, Stew Pot, 4 C’s, Blair E Batson Cancer Hospital, St. Jude Half Marathon Fundraiser, Ronald McDonald Fundraising and traveled on a mission Trip to Uganda. Africa.

Favorite Bible Passage “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is. His good, pleasing, and perfect will.” – Romans 12:12 A world that is becoming increasingly antagonistic towards Christianity opens up even more opportunities to those of us who serve the Lord to share His love with others. Our world opposes Christian morals and values more and more, but this gives me more opportunities to fulfill God’s purpose for my life; sharing my love of Him with others. As an Upward cheerleading coach, I am put in a position in which I can share the love of God with little girls, while coaching cheerleading. I have the opportunity to combine these two loves of mine; Jesus Christ and cheerleading. The goal of Upward is “to introduce children to Jesus Christ by creating opportunities to serve through sports.” I will have the opportunity to instill a love for the Lord in the little girls that I teach. Each week I share a scripture verse and devotional with them, and I ask the Lord to speak through me. God has put me in this position for a reason, and it is not only to help the girls become closer to Him, or develop a relationship with Him, but it is also to encourage me in my walk with Jesus Christ. Through teaching others about Him, I will be able to grow in my relationship, too.

Activities

Varsity cheerleader, basketball team and manager of the tennis team. Fellowship of Christian Athletes (President), HOPE Senior High Girls Bible Study (Coordinator and Enthusiast), National Honor Society, Sociedad Honoraria Hispanica, Spanish Club. Served as Hinds County Junior Miss volunteering at the Boys and Girls Club of Central Mississippi. Mississippi’s Distinguished Young Women top ten finalist and preliminary award winner.

SARAH-BAILEY ROBERTS Manchester Academy Parkview Church of God,Yazoo City, MS Favorite Bible Passage “Give thanks to the Lord in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18 Living out one’s faith is sometimes more difficult than just standing up to a bully or resisting temptation. I have had to live out my faith continually since the death of my father in September, 2007. My dad was told that he had colon cancer in July of 2006. Even though I knew that diagnosis was scary, I saw my dad stay positive and continue to witness even as his condition deteriorated. My mom and dad continued to teach Sunday

34 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

EMILY RUSSELL school and use their talents to sing God’s praise until only a few days before his death. After he died, I had to find the strength to continue to be the person I was before his illness. I had to continue to praise God and let Him be the leader of my life and Lord of my heart even though my heart was broken. This is a daily “living out” of my faith. I will continue to be a true Christian in front of my school and our community because I know my dad is now singing praise to God at the throne. I know I will see him again and so I have hope.

Activities

Varsity cheerleader, basketball team, softball, Beta Club, Student Council Representative, Students Against Destructive Decisions, Drama Club, Manchester Academy Masters (show choir), Fellowship for Christian Athletes, member of Manchester Academy Ambassadors, Member of Parkview Church of God youth group and adult choir, head of Parkview Church of God youth praise band.

CHANDLER ROGERS Brookhaven Academy First Baptist Church of Brookhaven Favorite Bible Passage “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” – Mark 10:27 I thought for many years that I was saved and would be spending eternity with Jesus. However, last year the night before leaving for a mission trip to La Nariz, Mexico, I was socializing with a group of friends. We began discussing the end of times and the afterlife. I made the statement that I was extremely tired of hearing people talk about being Christians, but not living as a Christian should, except for going to church on Sundays. I had decided that if that was how all of these “Christians” were living, then I wanted no part in that. Later that night a couple of my friends went with me to our youth minister’s house, and I explained to him the feelings of doubt that had crept into my mind. After what seemed to be hours, Mr. Paul made me realize that if I was tired of hypocrites and their actions, then I should be the one to break the mold and step out. That night on my knees I gave my life to the Lord. I am now fully prepared to let Him use me in any way He chooses. Fellowship of Christian Athletes, National Honor Society, Service Club, and Hunting and Fishing Club. Volunteers with Project Christmas Child, yard work for the sick and elderly and various sports activities for children. Member of First Baptist Church of Brookhaven and leads youth worship services, small prayer groups and served on mission trips. Involved in the Boy Scouts of America for the past 13 years.

Jackson Prep Highlands Presbyterian Church Favorite Bible Passage “But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may dwell within me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 I will live my life by being more boldly and proudly proclaiming the word of Christ. I recently wrote about how people don’t live their faith intentionally because they are afraid, afraid of what people will say or do. As I make my progression from high school student to college freshmen and later on to working adult, I will always strive to put Christ first in my life. I want people to know me not for what I’ve done, but for who I believe in. I will never be ashamed to tell the world who Christ is and all that He has done for me. When the majority of Christians in the world are being silent, I believe it is up to us, the new generation of Christian leaders, to be louder than ever. After all, shouts are better heard in a quiet room than a room full of chatter. I will always strive to live my life for Christ through my choices in life, my actions, and how I present myself to those I come in contact with.

Activities

Varsity basketball team, Student Council student life committee member, Patriot League. Member of Mu Alpha Theta, National Honors Society and Cum Laude. Volunteers at VBS, youth’s community service days and serves on mission trips.

CHAD SMITH Saint Andrew’s Episcopal School First Baptist Church of Jackson Favorite Bible Passage “But you, man of God, run away from all those things. Instead live in the right way, serve God, have faith, love, patience, and gentleness. Fight the good fight grabbing hold of the life that continues forever” – 1 Timothy 6:11-12 People do not think Christianity should be in schools or in our government, and the sad part is they are winning the debates. I have been devoting myself to studying the bible in some of my free time so that I may be prepared when people try to strike me down. My level of faith is what I pride myself on. At my school there are many people who are not believers in Christianity, and they are very well educated and prepared for any debates that might come up. I plan to radiate my love and walk with Christ in my everyday life so that people will want to have what I have. I am always a happy person and love to share my love of Christ with people whenever I get the chance so that they will be able to feel what I feel in my life and the joy I have for the world. I have gotten so much more knowledgeable with my reading of the Bible and trying hard to keep my memorization of Bible verses. metrochristianliving.com ❘ MARCH 2011 35

Activities

Varsity football, basketball and baseball, honors choir, Fellowship of Christian Athletes Leadership Team, Environmental Club and the Spanish Club. Member of Boy Scouts of America and achieved the rank of Eagle Scout and awarded the God and Country award through Boy Scouts. Serves as a Peer Leader, Mission First, Make-A-Wish Foundation, Teen Trendsetters tutoring and mentoring program, Habitat for Humanity and many different sports camps and clinics. Attended Mississippi Boy’s State and is an active member of the senior high ministry at First Baptist Church of Jackson.

Gatorade Player of the Year in soccer. Also an active member of the First Presbyterian Church youth group. Volunteers with Neighborhood Christian Summer Super Stars program, Ronald McDonald House and Salvation Army Angel Tree Program. She also instructs P.E. at Casey Elementary.

MEREDITH URY St. Andrew’s Episcopal School Christ United Methodist Church

LAURA LEE SMITH Jackson Preparatory School First Presbyterian Church of Jackson Favorite Bible Passage “…From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. – Luke 12:42-48 This is my favorite because it addresses expectations. I can hardly stand the apathy that often infects people, especially at my age. I believe that as Christians, we are called to do our best in everything that we do. This does not mean that everyone needs to find the cure for cancer or be a professional athlete. Doing one’s best could simply mean getting up and going to work or school with a good attitude. However, the more ability one has, the more expected from you, as the last verse states. I just try to maximize my potential and do my best in everything I do to follow this teaching. Right now, I think the Lord is calling me to the field of medicine. First, I enjoy biology and other sciences that I would have to study extensively if I pursued this field…Second, he has put several people in my life that have made it easy for me to learn about the field and have the opportunity to shadow practicing doctors to get a taste of it. I enjoy working with people. As a doctor, I would get to interact with people on a daily basis and would try to live out my faith.

Activities

Varsity soccer, basketball, and track team, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, the Community Service Club, the Spanish Club, academic honor societies Cum Laude, National Honor Society, and Mu Alpha Theta. Named Mississippi’s

MARS

Favorite Bible Passage “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus...” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-24 I am so thankful for where God placed me in school because I feel like I am more prepared to face the world than I would have been if I stayed in my small school bubble. I used to live in a world where everyone was “Christian” and tried to live in a good way. I thought that was how everyone was until I switched schools and people openly made fun of what I believed to my face. I’ve had people mock me, ask if I was a Jesus freak and question me as a person because of what I believe. I’ve learned how to make friends with people who have different faiths, or don’t believe in anything. I believe it is preparing me for a world that does not believe in the God my whole life is centered around. Now I know the other side, and why some people don’t agree with me. I’ve learned how to witness to those people, to love them and pray for them. I’ve become braver in standing up for what I believe in, but also how to do it in a loving way that will not turn unbelievers away. I am “living to be a domino” in everyone’s life through God’s grace. Even if I’m not the one who will lead someone to Christ, I want to make sure every moment I am a witness.

Activities Varsity soccer, basketball and track teams, FCA, Chamber Choir, Peer Leadership Program for seniors and freshman and tutors middle school students. Member of Christ United youth group, discipleship group and youth choir. Served on mission trips to Belize, Mississippi Gulf Coast, Kenya, Peru and Brazil.

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➺all in the family

by DR. JOHN L. COX, PHOTOGRAPHY BY KATE THOMAS

ince this is a special issue of MCL that is dedicated to our new young leaders; budding graduating seniors who are

about to take their turn running the world, let’s talk about how we as parents can best help them be prepared for leaving home and boldly going where no one has gone before! (How much will you pay me to not quote passages from “Oh The Places You’ll Go!”? Cringe.) When I talk to parents of teens, I like to remind them that the goal of living with a teenager is to help equip them to not need you. Our goal is to help them leave! (They help us out with this in a way, by often being so obnoxious that we are somewhat relieved when they finally take their leave. But there is plenty we can do to help them be ready to launch, and we must help them! Like a school headmaster once told me, “If the first place that they make their own choices is college, then those choices will probably be bad ones!”

The basic principle is this: In real adult life you can choose anything you want, but you cannot choose the consequences of those choices. In a sense there are three different stages of being a parent. I like to call them attending, parenting and de-parenting. ATTENDING is easy. It’s that stage of parenting that “attends” to the needs of an infant and toddler. Attending parents spend all their time running around taking care of little ones. In other words, we don’t think much about teaching a toddler about forgiveness and money management. You are just trying to stop them from gnawing on the power cables! With PARENTING we are directing, instructing and guiding the school age child. We remind them (constantly) of tasks they need to accomplish, and direct them in protective ways: “Go do your homework!” or “Put on your coat before you go outside.” Again, this is pretty straightforward. The parenting-parent is sort of a buffer between their child and reality, and though you are teaching them the principles of reality, you are working to manage their behavior directly. With DE-PARENTING, instead of controlling our children’s behavior, we need to be looking for opportunities for our teens to be dealing more directly with reality and less with our control. Let me tell you what this looks like. If you are parenting, and your school age child is spending all of their allowance like a Vegas winner in the Bellagio, you say something like, “Don’t spend all of your money! Remember you said you wanted to go to the movie this weekend. You need to save some.” If you are de38 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

parenting, and your teen is blowing their cash, you should probably say nothing. Let them blow it all, and then come up short this weekend. If you are a really nice (or codependent) parent, you could say, “I’ve got some ideas about saving your money, if you want to hear them.” (Which they won’t. They’ll just roll their eyes.) But what you must not do, if you want to be preparing them for real life, is get all up in their grits and tell them how to spend their money. Or, heaven forbid, give them some extra to make it through the weekend. Think about what lesson you would be teaching them about reality then! The basic principle is this: In real adult life you can choose anything you want, but you cannot choose the consequences of those choices. They go together, like bubble gum and baseball cards. You don’t have to pay your taxes, but then the black helicopters will come and the mean ol “Mr. IRS parent” will put you in “time-out” for 10-20…but you are free to choose whether to pay your taxes or not. Our discipline and interaction with teens needs to mirror this pattern. Instead of telling them they better not come in late, tell them that they can come in late if they want. It will just mean that they are grounded from their car next week. If they sass you, don’t give them the lecture on “how dare they talk that way to your mother.” Take their electronics for the night. When you do this you are backing out of direct control (no one will control them in real life) and letting them choose and reap the consequences, just like in adult life. One night, one of our charming offspring walked through the kitchen as we were cleaning the dishes. “Come help us do the dishes, honey,” my wife said. The teen continued up the stairs and actually replied, “Are you on pills?” Her mother and I looked at each other astonished. Where had we gone wrong? Part of me wanted to run up the stairs and “jerk a knot into her” (as my mother used to say). Another part of me realized that the result of that would be lots of fighting and very little learning about real life. Instead, I simply walked over to the key hanger and pocketed her car keys. Thirty minutes later when she came downstairs looking for her keys she asked, “Where are my keys? I’m headed to Sally’s!” I simply replied, “Are you on pills?” The kindest thing we can do for our departing teens is let them start learning about this Cause/Effect nature of the universe in your nice safe home, so that they are ready for the big bad world! Then maybe…Oh the Places they won’t Go! Y Dr. John L. Cox is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Jackson. He also serves as the Visiting Director of Spiritual Development at Intown Presbyterian Church in Atlanta, Georgia. To contact Dr. Cox, please call 601-352-7398.

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➺legal advice by WILLIAM B. HOWELL

Living Trust or Will?

he will is only effective to distribute your assets after you have passed away and after the probate process has been completed in Chancery Court. If you should become incapacitated during your lifetime as a result of a stroke or dementia, then your will cannot help you, because a will is only for death planning. You need something besides the will to give authority to someone to act for you. For many years people used the combination of a will for death planning and a durable power of attorney for giving authority to someone in case the event of incapacity. Today it may work, or it may not work. The problem is that in the last several years many of the commercial entities with which we all do business (banks and others) have elected not to honor powers of attorney because of the possibility of honoring an improper or revoked document. A power of attorney is not legally required to be honored by anyone. It is purely voluntary. For many families there is also the issue of the legal system after you have passed away, which is required when using a will, but is not required when using a living trust. The statutorily required delays using a will make the probate process

somewhat lengthy. Using a properly funded living trust, no probate is required and there is little if any legal involvement after a person passes away. This also preserves the family’s privacy, because the probate file at the Chancery Clerk’s office is entirely public. With a living trust there is no need for a power of attorney because, if you should become incapacitated, then the person you’ve named in your trust will automatically take over for you and manage your affairs without the necessity of having a power of attorney or any court involvement. At such time your assets will be distributed through your living trust just the way you have said you wanted done, without the necessity of probate. And distribution through your living trust is private. So why doesn’t everybody have a living trust? First, many people don’t know about a living trust, or if they have heard about it they make the incorrect assumption that you have to be wealthy to need a living trust. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, a modest estate will suffer a larger shrinkage from a percentage standpoint through the cost of administration than will a larger estate. The second reason that living trusts are not for everyone is the fact that a living trust costs more to

prepare than just a will, but the savings by avoiding court are much larger. When done properly, a living trust includes a collection of 10 to 30 different documents. This is not really a “do-ityourself” activity. A living trust does not require any additional tax returns, nor any annual maintenance or expense. The sad truth is that very few people actually have an estate plan of any, whether centered on a will or a living trust. One survey found that over 70% of American people do not have any estate plan in place. Of the persons who do planning today, they are roughly evenly divided between the use of will and the use of a living Trust. Your family should have the good fortune to be a part of that group. Please, take the time to put in place a good plan for your estate, regardless of what documents you choose to use. It is not just for when you pass away, it is also for while you are living. It will give you great peace of mind. And it is truly a loving thing to do for your family. They will thank you for it.

William B. Howell is a member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys and practices law in Ridgeland.

You have worked hard for it. WHY THROW IT AWAY? We are all living longer. But we are not all going to be in good health, or aware of our families, or both. Then what happens? Someone has to take over. The question is: Will this be someone you chose? And will it be outside of court or in court? The same with the distribution of your assets after you pass away: In court or out of court? The choice is yours. What about protecting your assets from lawsuits, or a child’s inheritance from a divorce? And will most of your hard-earned savings go to the nursing home? Or have you planned? Here are a few ideas for you to consider:

Living Trust – Allows the person you choose to take over for you in the event of your incapacity, without any court involvement. At your death the person you have chosen makes the distribution of your assets the way you have instructed in your Living Trust, and to do so promptly, inexpensively and privately, without going through probate in the court.

Asset Protection – Lawsuits are filed every day. If you get sued, are your assets protected? They can be, and probably should be. Also, the divorce rate has never been higher than it is today. Will your child’s divorce cause them to lose half of what you leave them after you are gone? Not if you plan now. The level of protection (or not) is up to you. Nursing Home Planning – Don’t qualify for long term care insurance, or can’t fit it in your budget? You don’t have to spend everything that you have in order to become eligible for nursing home benefits. There are legal and ethical ways for you to save well over half of your assets in most cases, even if you are already in the nursing home. Hear Mr. Howell on the radio

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food for thought by LYDIA BOLEN

Bake-n-Take

The process of having to cook and create a meal for those who are going through a transitional time in their lives such as a new baby, surgery, the loss of a loved one or illness, can be very difficult. Let these favorites of mine take the challenge away as you serve the Lord by serving others.

SWEDISH MEATBALLS 1 pound ground beef 1 clove garlic minced 1/4 cup plain breadcrumbs 1/4 to 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese 1 egg

1/2 teaspoon salt 3 cans mushroom soup (or one family size) 1 8 ounce can evaporated milk 2 tablespoons parsley 1 package wide egg noodles

By hand, or on medium speed with an electric mixer, thoroughly blend ground meat, garlic, breadcrumbs, cheese, egg and salt. Beat until well mixed. Form into 3/4 inch to 1 1/2 inch balls in diameter. Brown meatballs in 2 tablespoons butter and 2 tablespoons olive oil. In a separate saucepan, heat the mushroom soup and the evaporated milk (about 1/2 can to get a creamy consistency) Add parsley. Whisk to get lumps out. Place meatballs into gravy mixture and simmer on low for 20 minutes. Serve over cooked wide egg noodles.

HONEY TERIYAKI PORK TENDERLOIN One pork tenderloin KC Masterpiece Honey Teriyaki Marinade Foil

Choose a package of boneless pork tenderloins. Some will come two to a package. Lay out two large pieces of aluminum foil cross-wise and lay one tenderloin on the foil. Pour a small amount (about 1/4 cup) of KC Masterpiece Honey Teriyaki Marinade on top of the meat. Lift the meat with a fork to allow the marinade to cover entire tenderloin. Wrap foil up loosely around the meat, securing the marinade inside the foil. Place foil packet in a glass dish and bake for 4 to 5 hours at 250 degrees. This is a sure winner. Take along a veggie and a salad with bread and you will have an easy meal to take to someone in need.

HAM TETRAZZINI 5 1/2 1/2 1/4 2 1 1/4 1 1 1/8

tablespoons butter 1 pound fresh mushrooms 8 cup chopped onions cup flour 3 cups low sodium chicken broth cups milk or 1 1/4 cups half and half 4 cup shredded extra sharp cheddar cheese teaspoon salt (less if you are watching salt intake) 1/4 teaspoon black pepper

teaspoon lemon juice ounces angel hair pasta, broken into thirds cups cooked ham (I use black forest ham since it is less salty) ounces chopped pimento, drained (optional) cup parmesan cheese

Melt butter in a skillet. Sauté mushrooms and onions until most of mushroom liquid has evaporated. Blend in flour until smooth. Add broth and milk or cream, stirring until smooth and thickened. Add cheese, salt, pepper and lemon juice. Stir until cheese melts. Lower heat and simmer uncovered 10-15 minutes. While sauce is simmering, cook pasta and drain. Add pasta, sauce along with ham and pimentos spoon into greased 2-quart casserole and sprinkle with parmesan cheese. Bake at 325 degrees for 25 minutes. Serves 8 to10 people. Freezes well.

Remember to make memories through the kitchen; “the heartbeat of the home”. Go to my blog for more recipes at www.lydiasapron.blogspot.com, or email me at lbbolen@gmailcom. Comfort food is a wonderful way to show your friends or neighbors you care! Y

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of Him that sent me, and to finish His work.” – John 4:34

metrochristianliving.com ❘ MARCH 2011 41

➺money talks by NANCY LOTTRIDGE ANDERSON

COLLEGE PREPARATION

e’re nearing May and the graduation of another batch of high school seniors. They’re

chomping at the bit, ready to face adulthood and the freedom that comes when they leave their parents’ homes. As their parents, you are ambivalent, weary of battling with teenagers about boundaries and limits.. In a few months, many of those graduates will head to college and be on their own for the first time in their lives. Of course, “on their own” is a bit of a misnomer. While those college freshmen won’t be under your noses any longer, they will still be under your financial protection. It’s a strange place for parents; limited in the ability to exert control, but responsible for the consequences. Talk about a leap of faith! A parent’s job during these years is to help your almost-grown children transition to “on their own.” Hopefully, you’ve already started. By the time your child is 15 or 16, he should have his own bank account. If not, go with

A parent’s job during these years is to help your almost-grown children transition to “on their own.” him to the bank to start that relationship. Introduce him to your banker. Walk around the parking lot while they are filling out the forms. Let him handle this without you. Teach him to track his income and expenses through that account. Talk to him about bank errors and the need to verify each item on the statement. Allowances and/or earnings from any jobs should be deposited into the account. While you may monitor his balance online, don’t run down to the bank to rescue him when he goes into the negative column. And, whatever you do, don’t set up the account with overdraft protection. He needs to feel the pain when a check bounces. Graduation gifts will come pouring in, and many will be cash. Insist they be used for substantive college items, not just a trip to the mall. Don’t hover over him when it comes to making purchases, though. As long as it’s not illegal, immoral or unethical, allow him to choose how to spend his money. A few months before he heads to school, open a credit card account for him. This should have a small limit, maybe $1000. The amount should 42 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

cover emergency needs such as car repair or a plane ticket home. Make sure he understands that you are responsible for the debt, so use of the card should be limited and should be preceded with your permission. Statements should be sent to you. Look at them carefully each month. Don’t allow a little problem to get out of hand. About a month before the start of school, sit down and come up with a budget. Start by listing the cost of tuition, books, dormitory fees and meal tickets. These will be big items and may be paid in increments. If he’s lucky enough to have scholarships or other sources of funding, list those. Of course, what’s left will be your responsibility, but let him actually pay the bill. Put the money in his account. Let him troop over to the bursar’s office and hand over the funds. He’s more likely to appreciate your sacrifice if he sees those dollars and cents himself. Just make sure he doesn’t throw a party with designated money before he can get to the bursar’s office. Temptation is not a teenager’s friend! Decide on a monthly allowance for other things; food, clothing, supplies and entertainment. Divide this number into weekly amounts. Start by depositing this amount into his account each week. By the second semester, make deposits twice a month. Get your college student accustomed to a payroll schedule and stretch it out as long as reasonable. Don’t rescue him! If he spends everything the first two days, let him suffer. Most freshmen have meal tickets, so he won’t go hungry. He’ll just be really pitiful. Allow him to make those mistakes now. Each year, pick a bill to add to his list of responsibilities. Have him pay his cell phone bill each month. Later, add in the car insurance or, maybe the car note. You’ll have to work with him to make sure this is done, but it will be a great lesson. Encourage him to work during the school year, if possible and during the summer. Working will help him build a resume and may even be the ticket to employment upon graduation. Finally, when it’s time for that second graduation, you should be ready to completely step out of the picture. This is the day you’ve both worked for and planned for. If you’ve done it right, the transition should be smooth and simple. Now they are ready to face the world truly on their own. He really doesn’t need you anymore...until the grandchildren come along! Y Nancy Lottridge Anderson, Ph.D., CFA, is President of New Perspectives, Inc., in Ridgeland, 601-991-3158. She is also an Assistant Professor of Finance at Mississippi College. Her e-mail address is nanderson@newper.com, and her website is www.newper.com.

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➺rave reviews MOVIE

The Eagle Reviewed by Marcus Williams The Eagle (PG-13) is a movie that explores honor, faith and will power of mankind. Channing Tatum plays Marcus Aquila, a Roman soldier in search of answers behind his father’s disappearance as leader of the Roman army’s Ninth Legion. Marcus hears word that the symbol of the Ninth Legion, a golden eagle, has been spotted in Northern Britain. Marcus and his British slave, Esca played by Jamie Bell, set out to find the golden eagle and the answers it may possess. Channing Tatum’s portrayal of the character Marcus Aquila is at times frustrating to watch because it seems he is reaching for emotions he has never experienced. By the end of the film, Tatum reels you back in with just enough to have you say job well done. Jamie Bell’s Esca character is mysterious and keeps you guessing throughout the film. Bell’s unimposing stature but tough everyman demeanor is something all can relate to. Bell truly carries The Eagle to such great heights it makes Channing Tatum’s performance become somewhat an afterthought. The Eagle’s supporting cast is led by actor Donald Sutherland as Marcus’ wise but stern, Uncle Aquila. He is the voice of encouragement and reason for Marcus. The plot of The Eagle is driven by the relationship between Marcus and Esca. Through every twist and turn of their journey, both characters reveal and discover so much of themselves. A sense of honor and respect resonates from their interactions on screen. The Eagles visual settings among the European countryside add an artistic flair. Overall, The Eagle is quite an entertaining film. It is full of mystery, action and intrigue. It carries the message, that while searching for answers from the past, one can greatly affect their perception of the present and the future. The Eagle is a film that can surely be enjoyed by both teens and adults. Y Marcus Williams who lives in Brandon, MS. He enjoys the simple things in life such as comics, movies, and great friends.

44 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

BOOKS

Make College Count Reviewed by Susan E. Richardson As graduation approaches, stores fill with books offering advice for new graduates on their way to college. Unfortunately, some focus more on the negative aspects of entering college as a Christian. In Make College Count, Derek Melleby emphasizes questions to help students make the most of their college years. After giving a nod to common concerns, Melleby casts a larger vision of the college years as the critical period for a young person. He writes specifically for the thoughtful young Christian, one who takes both college and his or her faith seriously. Rather than taking things as they come, the author offers several questions to help students make focused choices. Choosing to attend college should be a purposeful decision, and Melleby challenges students to look further than general expectations to decide what they want from the college experience. He doesn’t overlook practical considerations like career goals, but continues to anchor the discussion in living out faith. “College is about increasing our serviceability for God.” Other questions address identity, faith, community, putting faith into action and influencing others. None of the chapters offer easy answers but suggest wrestling with the questions. Interviews with students add other voices to the discussion. Though gift book size, Make College Count is not a typical inspirational gift book. The author raises difficult questions while maintaining an easy to read conversational style. If you’re looking for a gift for a college-bound Christian leader, Derek Melleby’s book is an excellent choice. Y Susan E. Richardson is a writer, critique reader, and former Christian retailer with a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word. You can reach her through her website www.nextlevelcritiques.com.

Vicious Cycle Reviewed by Suzanne Sansing Being a teenage boy can be scary. Being a teenage boy trying to help a drug-addicted friend can be scarier. Being a teenage boy whose drug-addicted friend he’s trying to help accuses him of kidnapping her newborn could possibly be the scariest thing one teenage boy has ever faced! On the eve of his sister’s graduation from rehab, Lance Covington stands accused of kidnapping a newborn by the person who hid the baby with him—the child’s mother, Jordan. Not knowing what lies ahead, Lance enlists the assistance of his sister and mother to unweave the web of lies that Jordan has spun and clear his name, while also protecting Jordan and her child from sinister predators who want her child for their own nefarious reasons. In a tale of loss, hope and redemption, Terri Blackstock’s newest thriller, Vicious Cycle, offers readers insight to addiction, the lengths to which the addict will go for his next fix, and the grace God offers those who feel they are beyond repair. Trials are a natural part of a Christian’s every day life, but have you ever wondered how God uses those trials, not only in your own life, but also in the lives of others? If you have, Vicious Cycle is a must-read. Blackstock aptly demonstrates the way our lives are entwined with those of others and how, though we may not know it at the time, we may help those around us simply by being examples of God’s grace. Y

events calendar March 3 Mark your calendar for the Barkus Ball, an event celebrating 10 Years of the Community Animal Rescue & Adoption organization, also known as CARA Thursday, March 3, 6pm -10pm at The Auditorium in Fondren. Tickets are $50 each and can be purchased before or at the event. For more information call 601941-1432 or email kendallpoole@yahoo.com March 5 The Little Light House, a non-profit, tuition-free Christian developmental center for children with special needs, will hold their 6th annual Tea Party Fundraising Event at the Fairview Inn in Jackson. Enjoy an afternoon tea, children’s fashion show and a ladies hat competition. Tickets are free but seating is limited to 300. To request a ticket call 601-829-3446. First Baptist Church of Jackson will host the 9th annual Hope Conference at the Christian Life Center. The Hope Conference is designed to meet the educational and informational needs of those affected by cancer and will feature presentations by cancer specialists, medical experts and cancer survivors. For additional information call 601-432-6816. March 18 - 20 The Mississippi Trademart on the Fairgrounds will be host to the largest plant sale in the south. The Jackson Garden & Patio Show will get you ready for spring with gardening seminars, shopping and a visit with the Plant Doctor. For more information, call 601-919-8111. March 27 Disney Live! presents Mickey’s Magic Show at the Mississippi Coliseum on the Fairgrounds. Enjoy being entertained by Mickey, Minnie, and friends as they

perform magic from your favorite Disney films. For additional information call 601353-0603.

What’s going on?

March 30 - 31 The Mississippi Puppetry Guild presents The Princess and the Pea and The True Story of The Three Little Pigs at the Mississippi Agriculture and Forestry Museum. Come ready to be entertained and educated at this fun filled family event. For more information, call 601977-9840. March 31- April 1 Ballet Magnificat! celebrates 25 years of dancing for the Lord with their Spring Concert Series beginning with a performance of Ruth. Jackson Academy’s Performing Arts Center will host this special night of dance and worship. Tickets are $15. For additional information, call 601-977-1001.

BRANDON April 1 - 2 Pinelake Church is hosting the Going Beyond; Life Interrupted simulcast with Priscilla Shirer and Anthony Evans. Friday, April 1st the doors will open at 6:00 and the simulcast will begin at 7:00; on Saturday, April 2nd the doors will open at 7:00 a.m. for the prayer experience and reopen at 8:15, with the simulcast beginning at 8:45 and ending at 12:30. Tickets are $20 and can be purchased online at www.thesourceatpinelake.com

FLORENCE April 2 – April 4 Cleary Baptist Church Florence will be hosting “See the King” conference with guest speaker Kempton Turner. Kempton Turner serves as the Sr. High Discipleship Pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church with Senior Pastor, John Piper. For more information contact the church office at 601-845-2020. Y

In a world where dads and daughters are finding it increasingly difficult to spend quality time together, the “Princess Ball” provides the perfect opportunity for a night out together. The City of Brandon is hosting the “Princess Ball,” a magical night for fathers and daughters, Friday, March 4, 2011 in the community room at Brandon City Hall. The event will feature dancing, games, a photo booth, door prizes, contests, food, and more! Tickets are $20 per couple, $7.00 each additional child. The “Princess Ball” features two sessions. Girls ages 5-9 are welcome from 6:00-7:30pm and ages 10-14 are welcome from 8:00-9:30pm. Tickets are available now at Brandon City Hall. “The relationship shared between a father and his children is a special bond, but a relationship shared between a father and his daughter is timeless and filled with unconditional love,” shares Mayor Tim Coulter. For additional information, please contact Tahya Dobbs in Mayor Tim Coulter’s office at 601-824-4578 or via email at tdobbs@ci.brandon.ms.us.

metrochristianliving.com ❘ MARCH 2011 45

MARCH 2011

JACKSON

➺quips & quotes

ADVERTISING INDEX ADVERTISER

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Cut out the scriptures and quotes and place them around your home for daily encouragement!

✂ “Blessed is the leader who seeks the best for those he serves.” – Author unknown

“In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.” – 2 Timothy4:1-2

“A good leader can’t get too far ahead of his followers.”

“He who has the Son has life” - 1 John 5:12 (NIV)

– Franklin D. Roosevelt

“It is a glorious thing to know that your Father God makes no mistakes in directing or permitting that which crosses the path of your life. It is the glory to God to conceal a matter. It is our glory to trust Him, no matter what.” – Joni Eareckson Tada

“See! The winter is past, the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth, the season of singing has come.” – Song of Songs 2:11-12 NIV

“Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters.” - John Wooden

“Important principles may, and must, be inflexible.” – Abraham Lincoln

“A stumble may prevent a fall.” – Author unknown

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Contrary to the opinion of many people, leaders are not born. Leaders are made, and they are made by effort and hard work.” – Vince Lombardi

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46 MARCH 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living

PAGE

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