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AUGUST 2020
Kelly Headley
How life prepared her to serve at Prep How I lost my picture-perfect pandemic Friday Night Porch Party recipes
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contents AUGUST 2020
®
Volume 15, Number 2 Publisher MS Christian Living, Inc.
STEGALL IMAGERY
Editor Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com
Student service opportunities hang on the bulletin board outside Kelly's office at Prep. COVID-19 cut the school's service plans short this year, at least temporarily.
columns 8 As I See It Of mules and children
10 Modern Motherhood STEGALL IMAGERY
How I lost my picture-perfect pandemic
“I would not be sitting in this chair, had I not been born into the family I was born into,” says Kelly Headley of her role as community service director at Jackson Preparatory School.
cover story 18 Kelly Headley How life prepared her to serve at Prep
12 Health & Wellness
24 Catching up with CJ Stewart Bearing fruit, impacting lives
14 Mission Mississippi Moments What moving to Mound Bayou taught me
16 Lagniappe Capital Ortho now offers minimally invasive bunion correction procedure
26 This Is My Story Claiming God’s promises after a miscarriage
28 This Is My Story 30 Food for Thought Friday Night Porch Party
32 Tough Questions Should I take my child out of school due to bullying?
Coming Next Month Betsy Primos and other mothers find hope after losing children to suicide
in every issue 6 Editor’s Letter 34 Quips & Quotes 34 Advertiser Index
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CONNECT WITH US: twitter.com/MSChristLiving facebook.com/MSChristianLiving 4
AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Art/Graphic Design Sandra Goff Sales Suzanne Durfey, Ginger Gober Contributing Writers Hanna Broome, Libbo Crosswhite, Chris Fields, Dan Hall, Dr. Bradley Kellum, Rebecca Lee, Sarah McLaughlin, Jay Morgan, Kym Schank, Brenna Weaver Cover Photography Stegall Imagery Distribution Assistants Avery Cahee, Kathryn Dyksterhouse, Randy Fortenberry, Walton Gresham, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Bob Whatley
Obey God: Take care of your body
How God healed my ‘fantasy’ marriage
feature
Managing Editor Suzanne Durfey
Mississippi Christian Living Phone 601.790.9076
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Mississippi Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Mississippi Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Mississippi Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2020 by Mississippi Christian Living, Inc. Mississippi Christian Living is published monthly and is available for free at hightraffic locations throughout the tri-county area and central Mississippi. Subscriptions are $29 a year. POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Mississippi Christian Living, 3304 N. State St., Ste 201D, Jackson, MS 39216.
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➺editor’s letter Ebony and Ivory take a trip
H
ey, everyone. I hope you’re reading this in a socially distant environment and not sweating under a mask. In early July, I thought we were almost out of the COVID-19 woods. Now I wonder if we’ll even emerge next spring — and if we’ll have tan lines on our faces from masking up all summer. Now I hope you won’t mind me diverging from current events to tell y’all a little about my recent trip to Natchez with my friend Tonja. Honestly, Tonja and I should write a travel blog. We call ourselves the Ebony and Ivory Travel Agency, but we only book trips for ourselves. Since December 2018, we’ve visited Clarksdale, Laurel, the ghost town of Rodney, Tuscaloosa, Memphis and Natchez. We take turns picking the city. I’m in charge of finding lodging, and Tonja scopes out entertainment and local restaurants. Until a couple weeks ago, we hadn’t travMe admiring a fancy chocolate bar I bought at eled since the end of February, due to COVID. Steampunk Coffee Roasters in Natchez. But by July, Ebony and Ivory were ready to ride again, and Natchez turned out to be a wonderful destination. Yes, we had to wear masks in restaurants until seated at our table, and when we shopped. (Speaking of shopping, we recommend My Book House, which sells used books and vintage items. FYI, the store is NOT located at the address listed online. Call her. It’s directly across from Napa Auto Parts.) One place we didn’t have to mask up was at the drive-in movie we attended. It was the first drive-in movie for both of us, and the entire reason we picked Natchez. Every weekend in July, the city played drive-in movies on a big projector screen in an empty parking lot overlooking the river. We selected the 10 p.m. showing of “Hidden Figures,” about the black female mathematicians at NASA. The movie froze up after a minute, so they played “The Sandlot” instead. Talk about a 180! But it Tonja and I loved My Book House, which sells was a great movie for a drive-in. Nothing used books and vintage items. says nostalgia like kids playing baseball. Our Airbnb cottage sat right next-door to the Natchez City Cemetery and mere blocks from the Natchez Trails walkway overlooking the river. So Saturday morning, we got up and walked. After lunch, we hunkered down in a gorgeous coffee shop called Steampunk and wrote until they closed at 5. It was the perfect getaway. And it was much needed. 6
AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Sometimes you’ve got to take a break in order to go back to your calling with fresh fervor. I needed the reminder that my office, my house, and my immediate family were not the only things that existed on this earth. The beauty of a restful weekend away, and of a friendship strengthened, drew me to God in praise. That’s what I want this magazine to do, too — point folks to Christ, and enrich their lives. We can all play a part in doing that for each other. But sometimes we’ve got to “get away” and soak up some grace for ourselves. If you’re not comfortable traveling or don’t want to wear a mask, you might try finding a nearby park. You could even make it a weekly ritual. Go in the morning before it gets hot (or before your family wakes up?) and pretend you’re a million miles away. Enjoy some nature and some Jesus! Before I go, one small announcement: Our dear friend Barb Martin’s schedule is getting tight, and she will no longer be writing our Tough Questions column. However, she handpicked her successor, so we are excited! Check out Brenna Weaver’s first Tough Questions column on page 32. More ‘must-reads’ • Jay Morgan’s drool-worthy recipes on page 30. • Libbo Crosswhite’s hilarious Modern Motherhood column, which has a “pictureperfect” photo accompanying it! (page 10) Ways to connect with MCL • Facebook.com/MSChristianLiving • Instagram.com/mschristianmag • Our e-digest. Visit bit.ly/mcledigest2020 and click Subscribe at top left to never miss our twice-monthly devotional (written by Tonja once a month!) and other cool stuff. • Our podcast, “A Closer Walk.” Search “Mississippi Christian Living” on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. This month’s podcast features Barb Martin discussing how to relate to your in-laws. (So happy we can hear her voice, even though we’ll miss her words in print!) .Y
Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com
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➺as i see it by DAN HALL
Of mules and children
E
very Christian parent has Proverbs 22:6 imprinted somewhere in their world: a magnet on the refrigerator, a
3x5 card on a mirror, a cross-stitch on the wall, or simply underlined in the Bible: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” It’s a daunting verse. It engenders fear and hope. It leads to confidence in scripture or despair at my failure as a parent. My wife and I read a book years ago, “To Train up a Child.” The author believed children should be trained like mules: Discipline them quickly and teach them to obey your voice. It had many poignant lessons that helped us with our children, but it always bothered me to compare my children to the genetically incompatible mating of a donkey and a horse. In that illustration, all our friends knew which between my wife and me was the jackass. But I digress. This verse is often misquoted and certainly misapplied. Hebrew is a rich language. It can be difficult to translate into modern languages like English. The word “should” is not a word in Hebrew. Removing it gives a little more clarity to the verse. “Train a child up in the way he goes, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” That would seem to indicate that whatever the cultural context, a child will maintain that throughout life. But here’s the beautiful twist in the passage: “The way” has to do with a child’s bent, how he or she is gifted, how God has made that unique child. Now the verse becomes even richer: “Help develop a child
into the person God created them to be, and when they get old, they will be surefooted (not depart from it).” Which is why setting an example as parents is paramount. I have six children. Each of them is unique. I have sought to know and understand them as individuals. But the fact is, I’m not always as good at cultivating their individuality as I wish I could be. But what I can do is show them how to live. How I love their mother, how I treat friends and enemies alike, how my faith does or does not define my life and affect my decisions. All of these influence what each child does with their giftings and personal traits. James Baldwin said, “Children have never
been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” Take time to know your kids and how they are bent. Invest in their talents and skills. But more than anything, live faithfully before them. And when you mess up — and you will — show them how to apologize and repent well.
Y Dan Hall is an executive and strategic coach to leaders and executive teams. He also works with organizations on team building, conflict resolution and communication skills. He and his wife, Hazel, have six children and four grandchildren.You can reach him at Dan@OnCourseSolutions.com.
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AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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➺modern motherhood by LIBBO CROSSWHITE
How I lost my picture-perfect pandemic
I
t will be hard for any picture to be more accurate than this one for my 2020 year. While on a family vacation to
In the middle of my attempt to capture the pictureperfect family photo, I had to not-so-delicately correct my daughter for attempting to drink up the spilled Diet Dr. Pepper with her lips directly from the bench.
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AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
the beach in North Carolina, in the middle of my attempt to capture the picture-perfect family photo, I had to not-so-delicately correct my daughter for attempting to drink up the spilled Diet Dr. Pepper with her lips directly from the bench. I can’t say her attempt was not a “Libbo move,” but it was disgusting and not OK in our current state of affairs (and also in any circumstance, I guess). You can almost see the fear and fatigue in my eyes. Many of us have carried that fatigue and fear for So. Many. Months. My sister, being the loving sibling that she is, captured this moment instead of any sort of picture-perfect moment. This picture almost perfectly sums up my motherhood lately. Just trying to survive and do the best I can. “God’s design for the home is perfect. The homes of God’s people, however, have never been — nor do I suspect ever will be — perfect.” – Ron Deal Our guest pastor at Pinelake in July, Ted Cunningham, spoke these words during his sermon on parenting (HIGHLY recommend listening to this sermon online if you are in the thick of parenting). I don’t know if a statement has ever been more accurate. I am anxious to go back to school while simultaneously anxious about going back to school. I am realizing more and more each day that perfect is not only impossible but undesirable. Praise the Lord that we’ll never be called to be perfect mothers or humans. The fact of the matter is that zero of us could have predicted, at this time last year or even three months ago, where we would be today. None of us answered job interview questions on how we would handle a pandemic in our classrooms or businesses. None of us had “till corona do us part” or “in sickness and in quarantine” in our marriage vows. Very few of us prepared or were equipped for anything that has happened for the first half of this year. And yet, as Christians, the most comforting realization in the midst of uncertainty is that we are STILL not in control. If we are honest, many
of us thought this would be over by now. That life would return back to the hustle and bustle that we all bemoaned and yet longed for in the slowness and anxiety of uncertainty. I felt it was as if I said, “OK, God, I get it: I need to slow down. Got it. Check it off the list. Thank You for this valuable lesson — now give it all back to me so I can try again.” I’m reminded often of David’s words in the psalms. His desperation and confusion lead him to the God that was also the Creator and Sustainer: “I lift my eyes until the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber.” God’s still here, and His plan is still happening and perfect for each of us. He hasn’t left. He’s still in control, and guess what? We. Still. Aren’t. Hard to hear, but so very true. And in the midst of all the uncertainty, we must remind ourselves of where our help comes from. From the One who gives us life. We are all doing the best we can. Can we just go ahead and say that multiple times in the morning, and before we go to bed each night? My kids’ teachers will do the best they can. My doctors are doing the best they can. I’m doing the best I can. If the last six months have taught us anything, it’s that we have zero control, we are anything but perfect, and very few of us are experts in anything more than doing our best to keep our families safe. Maybe this is exactly where God wants us. To continue to realize our need for a Savior. Not to just experience a pandemic and move on, but to dwell in the house of earthly uncertainty so that we can learn to abide in the house of certainty with Christ. Y
Libbo Haskins Crosswhite and her husband, Clay, live in Madison and attend Pinelake. They have one daughter, Mary Thomas, who is 6 years old, and a son, Russell, who is 4 years old. She is the high school guidance counselor at MadisonRidgeland Academy and can be emailed at lcrosswhite@mrapats.org.
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➺health &wellness by CHRIS FIELDS
Obey God: Take care of your body
K
nowledge is power, right? We’ve all
heard that, but that’s only partly correct. Knowledge isn’t powerful until we act on the knowledge we have received, and that action brings about some sort of experience. Knowledge can either work for us or against us. The Word of God speaks a lot about knowledge — unapplied knowledge, wrongly applied knowledge, and knowledge applied properly (most biblically known as wisdom). One verse that sticks out is, “For lack of knowledge my people perish,” which is about unapplied and wrongly applied knowledge. The children of God in the Bible didn’t lack the knowledge and laws of God — they just either ignored them or applied them improperly. Either way suggests blatant disobedience to God, and there is always a debt to pay for blatant disobedience. The Bible doesn’t give us much on how to take care of our bodies, meaning it doesn’t say verbatim, “Eat right and stay active, or your body that God created and Christ gave life to will develop diseases that will worsen your quality of life and cause you to die early”; or, “Tap into all the health and healing benefits I created within your body by exercising five times a week and eating all the assortment of fruits and veggies I created for you.” Those aren’t scriptures of the Bible, but that doesn’t mean they’re not biblical principles that we should obey. God created our bodies, and that’s a biblical fact. He intricately designed them, and because they’re His creation and His ways are so much higher and infinitely more advanced than ours, we are thousands of years in and we still haven’t
scratched the surface on the wonders of the human body. When the books of the Bible were written, the human body was fairly new, so advancements in medicine and knowledge of the wonders of the human body weren’t discovered yet. We have discovered some knowledge on how to take care of our bodies, though: It’s taken us thousands of years to discover that exercising 150 minutes per week allows the seemingly healthy to stay healthy, and 300 minutes per week can begin to reverse the adverse effects of certain diseases that our bodies develop from lack of activity. It’s taken thousands of years to discover that our digestive process responds better when digesting lots of veggies, fish and foul, while limiting the amounts of grass-eating animals we eat. When our knowledge of how to care for our bodies is unapplied or wrongly applied, we are blatantly disobeying our Creator and Savior. When we apply that knowledge properly, we’re practicing the wisdom of God. Even though we don’t know all the wonders of our bodies, God does, and in His infinite wisdom He’s revealed ways we can keep His most precious creation safe and healthy — and ways we can get His creation back to health when something goes wrong. Yes, this backdrop is about eating better and exercising more consistently. Not just because it’s a good thing to do, but because when we don’t, we are not applying the wisdom of God to our lives, which comes with consequences. A main part of my role in the health professions is serving as a health educator specializing in diabetes education and
prevention and obesity education. Obesity is one of the only visible diseases, and its visibility and commonality causes lots of people not to view it as a disease, but it is one, and it’s a main contributor to other diseases like diabetes, various cancers, hypertension and heart diseases. Obesity is defined as excessive continuous fat storage and is now linked as one of the main contributors to hospitalizations and deaths from COVID-19. Obesity is an outcome of energy imbalances. Energy imbalances are caused by not properly metabolizing food due to the types of food eaten, portion sizes, and poor energy expenditure. That’s translated to poor diet and inactivity, which leads to many other health issues. Poor diet and inactivity debilitate our body’s recovery and healing processes, also. When we aren’t taking good care of our bodies as Christians, we aren’t following godly wisdom, which places us in disobedience, impeding the blessings of healing and health that God created for us. It’s hard to eat better and exercise more, especially for those who already have diagnosed diseases. But having a diagnosis of obesity or related disease is not final. Because we are so wonderfully created, our bodies can reverse most adversities brought on by improper diet and inactivity. Y
Chris Fields is the founder and executive director of H.E.A.L. Mississippi and a graduate in kinesiology with advance studies in nutrition. He serves as a clinical exercise physiologist/CPT and is credentialed in Exercise Is Medicine through American College of Sports Medicine.
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➺mission mississippi moments by KYM SCHANK
What moving to Mound Bayou taught me
B
eing the daughter of an educator, I learned from my father that I should teach everything I know. In other words, pass on that which you have for the benefit of someone else. We teach from a position of understanding and obtaining knowledge about something. The knowing, however, does not come without listening. I think that we would all agree sharing is a good thing. As Christians, we need to make sure we are sharing the right thoughts. 1 Thessalonians 2:8 says, “We loved you so much that we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives, too.” Teaching has more to do with love and sharing than knowledge. If there is one thing we have found out, people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Caring comes from a genuine place of the heart, not a coerced movement of the mind. Caring has the chance to change situations, systems and more, because it prompts people into action. Years ago, when my husband, Phil, and I started C2k Ministries Inc., we knew that the ministry and all programs would include kids in some way. While developing the organization, we didn’t realize that it would take us, a white couple, to an all African-American community in Mississippi called Mound Bayou. We didn’t head to Mound Bayou because
Kym, right, with her longtime friend Tanisha. 14
AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Kym (left) and her husband, Phil, started C2k Ministries, which ministers to children in the Mississippi Delta.
we thought we needed to “teach” anyone anything. After volunteering for over 20 years, I fell in love with the community, especially the children. About nine years ago, Phil and I felt a strong call to move, and once confirmed by friends through prayer and conversation,
we packed everything and moved into the neighborhood. God has a funny sense of humor. Phil and I do not have kids of our own. The joke has been that we have had everyone else’s kids for the last 20-plus years, and no matter how hard we run the other way, God always draws us back to working with kids. We find that most kids (anywhere) struggle academically, socially and spiritually. We provide the tools and resources necessary for them to overcome those challenges and become a successful future leader that changes families, communities, systems and the world. We knew that we would need to be listeners and bridge builders. We knew what we were doing was a good bit counter-cultural, yet it was God-inspired. Our blessings come from our relationships, getting to know people personally and sharing life. We have dinner, cookouts, swimming parties, Bible studies, and community groups together. We have been able to really listen to one another, earnestly pray for one
Phil, left, and Kym reconnected with C2k volunteer Jeremy Lewis while traveling through Dallas.
another, and genuinely love one another because we decided to listen to one another. Maybe our world could use a bit more of that — there is no institution that can lead that other than the church (you and I). A building is useless without the people in it. That is what I love about Mission Mississippi. They continue to lead the way in racial reconciliation in Mississippi by bringing people together not just to talk but to listen. Last year we had the chance to lead a small group of students at the annual Mission Mississippi conference in Jackson. It was Kym with Ms. Eunice Sanders from Mound Bayou, who has been like a powerful to get the next generation guardian angel and adopted grandmother to Kym for 22 years. together to talk, listen and understand each other. When you and I act like We can be agents of change. That is a the church, others can see practical evidence conscious choice we need to make. Teaching of the gospel. together through sharing our lives is a great Going back to 1 Thessalonians 2:8, “We illustration and demonstration of Matthew 28:20. loved you so much that we shared with you not #ShareTogether #TeachTogether Y only God’s Good News but our own lives, too”:
We didn’t head to Mound Bayou because we thought we needed to “teach” anyone anything. After volunteering for over 20 years, I fell in love with the community, especially the children. About nine years ago, Phil and I felt a strong call to move.
Kym Schank is vice president of C2k Ministries Inc., with a mission to develop programs to help kids fight intergenerational poverty. She and her husband, Phil, live in Mound Bayou.
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➺lagniappe by DR. BRADLEY KELLUM
Capital Ortho now offers minimally invasive bunion correction procedure Helping patients get back on their feet faster with less pain and less scarring than traditional bunion treatment
B
unions are one of the most common foot problems, affecting 23 percent of
adults and up to 30 percent of women. Caused by a misalignment of the bone at the big toe, bunions can be extremely painful and drastically change a foot’s shape, hindering daily activities such as walking, exercising and selection of footwear. Dr. Bradley Kellum, a foot and ankle fellowship-trained specialist at Capital Ortho in Flowood, is the only orthopedic surgeon in the central Mississippi area offering PROstep Minimally Invasive Surgery (MIS), a solution for hallux valgus — commonly known as bunions — that can get patients back on their feet faster, with less pain and less scarring. Bunions are a progressive condition, so it often takes time for patients to recognize their symptoms and seek medical attention. Over time, pressure on the big toe joint causes the big toe to lean toward the second, changing the structure of the bone and resulting in a deformity — or a bunion. As the deformity gradually increases, so do pain and difficulties in walking or even wearing shoes. Bunions are more prevalent among women since they are more prone to wearing tight, narrow shoes that put pressure on the toes. 16
AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Dr. Kellum said, “A large part of my job is to stay equipped with a knowledge and skill base to give patients options for foot and ankle conditions. The PROstep is a newer surgical technique to treat bunion deformity pain with proven efficacy and with a bonus of less recovery time, less pain and less scarring. Patients are seeing excellent results with this procedure. The best part of my job is seeing my patients return to doing activities they love as soon as possible and pain-free.” While over-the-counter medications, changes in footwear and other non-surgical remedies can temporarily alleviate pain, these are not usually long-term solutions for bunions. Many patients are typically familiar with more invasive, open procedures that expose the bone and tissues. However, in a recent survey, 75 percent of bunion sufferers say minimally invasive surgery would accelerate their decision to have surgery in order to stop the deformity earlier in the process. PROstep is a less invasive alternative performed with small, 3- to 5-millimeter incisions, compared to 3- to 5-inch incisions used in traditional bunion surgery. Using PROstep, Dr. Kellum makes several small incisions, the bone is cut precisely, and the soft
tissue released, allowing him to realign the big toe joint. This technique results in less pain and earlier return to function compared to traditional bunion surgical procedures. “Every once in a while, a great new surgical technique comes along, and when met with the best surgeon, the results are truly remarkable! We love our patients and the results we are getting with minimally invasive surgical bunion correction,” said Tonya Branning, FNP, who works directly with Dr. Kellum. To learn if you might benefit from PROstep MIS Bunion Correction, contact Capital Ortho at 601-987-8200 or visit capitalortho.com/prostep.
Y
Dr. Bradley Kellum specializes in the treatment of foot and ankle trauma, sports injuries, foot deformity correction, orthopedic fracture treatment, and ankle arthroscopy. He is a graduate of the University of Mississippi School of Medicine, where he also completed his orthopedic surgery residency. In addition, he completed an AO fellowship in Switzerland and a fellowship in foot and ankle surgery at the University of Utah. Kellum has been with Capital Ortho since 2013 and is Board Certified by the American Board of Orthopedic Surgeons.
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Kelly Headley “I
would not be sitting in this chair, had I not been born into the family I was born into,” says Kelly Headley, seated in her office as community service director at Jackson Preparatory School. Her parents, Robert and Sandra Peters, tried for six years to get pregnant. Doctors told the couple they wouldn’t be able to conceive, and that they should adopt. Sandra was ready to, but Robert wasn’t. So Sandra prayed the Old Testament prayer of Hannah, who told God that if He gave her a child, she’d give that child right back to Him. Finally, Sandra was going into a surgical procedure as “a last-ditch effort” to get pregnant, Kelly says. Before the procedure, the doctor walked in and said, “I’m sorry, but we can’t do surgery today.” Sandra started to get upset — but then the 18
AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
doctor said, “You’re pregnant.” Due to delivery complications, Justin was born with cerebral palsy. Twenty-one months later, Kelly came into the world as a healthy baby girl. “We looked just alike, so many people thought we were twins,” Kelly says. “When someone close to you goes through difficulties, you automatically take those on.” From ages 3 to 5, Justin lived at the former Crippled Children’s Center, which sat next to the University of Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson. Parents were allowed to visit for seven hours on Sundays, and for Justin, two of those hours were spent riding to Vicksburg and back so he could spend time with Kelly at home. (Sandra came up with excuses to visit the center at other times as well.) Despite doctors saying Justin would have minimal brain function at best, never walk, and
never hold a pencil, Justin learned to walk and write (his first word was “mother”) at the Crippled Children’s Center. He also made lifelong friends there. Today Justin is married, walks on crutches, and preaches all over the world. Without his crutches, you’d never know he had cerebral palsy. But growing up, as he underwent surgery after surgery, he and Kelly had a different upbringing than most kids. “It was certainly different than my circle of friends,” Kelly says. “Having someone with a disability changes everything. There are changes in perspective, in lifestyle, in the way you do vacations. We took a lot of vacations, but not to the beach. Crutches and sand don’t mix.” However, “God was always faithful. That doesn’t mean life was always easy, but God was always there in the good and the hard. My mom once told me she stayed in constant
STEGALL IMAGERY
How life prepared her to serve at Prep
These letters, painted on canvas by students, hang in Kelly’s office at Prep.
communication with God, all day every day. “There were so many blessings we experienced as a family that we never would have experienced otherwise. My family was the beneficiary of a lot of love and kindness,” Kelly says. “You almost feel bad that other people aren’t getting to experience that. But then the reality is, it’s hard (taking care of a disabled person).” While Kelly’s parents received lots of help, they were also “extremely selfless and sacrificial,” she says. “They raised us to put God first, and to put others before ourselves.” And, after praying Hannah’s prayer and getting God’s answer, “my parents did give my brother back over to the Lord in how they reared him spiritually, and his life became a ministry to the Lord.” That spiritual training happened at home first, but also at First Baptist Vicksburg, which
became Kelly’s second home. “My two pastors, Dr. John McCall and Dr. Gordon Sansing, were extremely influential in my life and my family’s life.” Kelly started following Christ at 9 years old, “not fully comprehending what Christ did for us, but feeling Him draw me to Him … and feeling Him growing me through a life full of ups and downs, and knowing He keeps His promises and never leaves us or forsakes us, in spite of ourselves,” she says. Thanks to all the people who reached out and helped her family through trials, “I knew I always wanted to give back in some way — because that’s all I knew.”
A winding trail Kelly's favorite verse, depicted in this print, is Isaiah 43:2.
As a young person, “I took a winding trail in college,” Kelly says. She attended Mississippi State University and later transferred to mschristianliving.com ❘ AUGUST 2020 19
Kelly and Justin at the Grand Canyon. “We took lots of vacations, but not to the beach,” Kelly said. “Crutches and sand don’t mix.”
Standing, Blake Headley. Seated, from left, Walker, Kelly, Jordan and Sarah Headley.
Kelly, left, and her parents served at the Joni and Friends Family Retreat in Alabama last summer. 20
AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Mississippi College for her senior year after meeting Blake Headley, who was from Brandon and already in the workforce. Kelly and Blake got married after she graduated with a business administration degree. Kelly soon got a job as an account executive selling airtime at Clear Channel Communications. “My favorite part was just the relationships that you make and build through sales. I loved getting to know the business owners in the Jackson area, and I still have long-lasting friendships (that I made there),” she says. As she and Blake started their family, she naturally had fears about her children being born with disabilities. “Absolutely, with every pregnancy, that was always in the back of my mind, even though I knew that my brother’s disability was not genetic. I had a lot of anxiety about how the delivery would go, but I still knew if something were to go wrong, that God was still God,” she says. “God was still in control.” Jordan, Walker and Sarah were all born healthy and without disabilities. Kelly stayed home while the kids were young. Then a friend, who was a founding board member of the LeFleur East Foundation, told Kelly they were hiring an executive director. The LeFleur East Foundation is a “super neighborhood” and business organization dedicated to improving the quality of life in the LeFleur East area of northeast Jackson. That job built upon and expanded Kelly’s existing connections in metro Jackson, and used those connections to improve the community. “One of the things I loved (about that job) is realizing it doesn’t matter if you live in Jackson,
Justin and Kelly with Terry Bradshaw. Justin loved the NFL and the Pittsburgh Steelers, so his aunt arranged for him to meet Bradshaw at his ranch outside Shreveport, Louisiana.
“We were only 21 months apart and we looked just alike, so many people thought we were twins,” Kelly said of her and her brother.
or Madison, or Rankin County — we’re all in this together, and we need to work together to improve the quality of life in the metro area as best we can. “That job broadened my vision for doing your part in improving where you live and how we live with each other.”
certain number of hours serving as a House or Senate page at the state Capitol. They can’t count hours spent serving at their church, “because church is where you’re already comfortable,” Kelly says — unless they’re serving with the church somewhere out in the community. And, students can only count four “bought” hours, with twenty dollars of donated items equaling one hour. However, no Jackson Prep student is required to serve. At all. “So the students who serve do so willingly,” Kelly says. “We do recognize students with service hours at the end of the year — but the greater goal is certainly for it to be a heart change for them, and for them to take it with them long years after their time at Jackson Prep.” One goal is for students to find a service area they love and stick with it. So Prep chooses a different nonprofit to partner with each year, in order to give students plenty of opportunities with that particular organization. In Kelly’s five years as community service director, the school has partnered with The Salvation Army, Canopy Children’s Solutions, Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital, the Lefleur Museum District and, this past year, the Mississippi chapter of Joni and Friends, which ministers to families impacted by disabilities. The latter organization, of course, has been especially meaningful for Kelly. In fact, she and
Developing hearts in high-school hallways Seven years ago, when Kelly’s daughter Jordan was a student at Jackson Prep, Kelly was asked to help out part time at the school’s Patriot Shop, which sells Prep merchandise. After a couple years of doing that, she heard about an opening for community service director at Prep. Working with people? Check. Helping people? Check. “It immediately felt like a natural fit, not something I had to think long and hard (about),” she says. “I inherited a well-developed program,” she says. “Ann Duncan (wife of Ligon Duncan, former pastor at First Presbyterian Jackson) preceded me and did a lot of the legwork developing this program to first benefit others, and secondly to grow the hearts and minds of our students to serve.” Students can’t count just anything as a “service hour” at Prep. They can only count a
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Jackson Prep students pose with winners of the special needs pageant held at the school in February.
Jackson Prep students ringing the bell for The Salvation Army. 22
AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Andrew Seago, center, with students who participated in the Joni and Friends dodgeball tournament that he helped start.
her parents served at the Joni and Friends Family Camp last summer, where her mom led a small group for mothers and Kelly led one for siblings. “You think, ‘I’m going to go serve these people’ … but you’re the ones who walk away blessed,” Kelly says. In Prep’s partnership with Joni and Friends, “(we also) included all organizations that serve people with disabilities. I loved so much watching our students serve in those areas so well and so naturally,” she says. “We hosted a special needs pageant at Prep in February. We served at the Joni and Friends Barnyard Dance (in Lena, Mississippi) in the fall. “It was just wonderful to see our students jump in and love on those who can often be forgotten. My brother never wanted others to treat him like he had a disability. He just wanted to be like everyone else. And that is true for everyone with a disability. Joni and Friends provides so many opportunities for them.” COVID-19 put a premature stop to Prep’s service plans for spring and summer, such as helping out at this year’s Joni and Friends Family Retreat. Instead, “a lot of my students made phone calls to those who were homebound, the elderly, those who had COVID,” Kelly says. “They bought groceries for them, baked for them, made cards. Donations to Salvation Army were made.” At press time, Prep was planning to return to
school physically — and the partnership with Joni and Friends was set to continue for a second year, as many other organizations are unable to take volunteers due to the virus. “(Joni and Friends) already works so well with our students and (is) creative at coming up with ways they can serve,” Kelly says.
‘We all have our struggles’ This past year, Kelly started teaching a service learning class at Prep. Like all community service at the school, the class is not required. It’s a one-semester elective. “So the students who choose to take that class really have a heart for serving,” Kelly says, describing the course as a “hybrid” of actual community service and classroombased learning about the nonprofit world. “Our service learning students worked so hard on that special needs beauty and beau pageant. We also had speakers come and talk to the class about their experiences being a recipient of community service. One of the best was Andrew Seago —our students hung onto his every word,” she says. Seago, who lives in the Jackson area, is quadriplegic and uses a wheelchair. “He said, ‘We all have our struggles. The difference between you and me is, I can’t see yours. But you can see mine.’ He helped start a dodgeball tournament at Jackson Academy — and our students participated in that — that
STEGALL IMAGERY
Left: Jackson Prep packed disasterrelief packages for Hurricane Harvey survivors in Houston.
raises money for families to attend the Joni and Friends Family Retreat.” Both as a faculty member and a Prep parent, Kelly loves how community service “develops the hearts of our students,” she says. “No matter why they come to my office to ask about service, whatever that carrot is, whether their parents told them to or they’re trying to enhance their high-school résumé, my hope is that they develop a heart for it. “I love being part of something where I feel like we are doing the Lord’s work and teaching our young people to see outside of themselves. I’m just like every other parent raising children in a world that is very inward focused,” she says. On a lighter note, as a faculty member who has children attending Prep, “I try to keep my distance (from my own kids at school),” she says. Walker is a junior and Sarah a freshman, while Jordan is a sophomore at Mississippi State. “They know where I am if they want to come say hi,” Kelly says. “Jordan loved it. She and her friends would always drop by. I don’t know if Walker has ever been in my office.” (laughs)
‘Always extend GRACE’ As Kelly has navigated life with a disabled loved one, various jobs, parenthood, and now leading high-schoolers in service at Prep, God has faithfully moved in her life, she says. “The Lord continues to grow me in being
aware and having a heart for those that are hurting and that are in need. As a Christian, I believe that’s why we’re here is to serve others and to grow in our relationship with the Lord.” Her parents, pastors, and “deep spiritual friends (who) keep me encouraged and looking up” have all helped her along the way — not to mention the Word of God. Her favorite verse is Isaiah 43:2. “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” So what does she feel is the No. 1 lesson she’s learned in life so far? “To always have compassion for others — and that we all experience mountaintops and valleys, and to just always extend an extra measure of grace and kindness to others, because we just don’t know what others are going through. “We all have a story that makes us who we are, and we just hope and pray that God grows us for His purposes and grows us to love each other the way Christ loved us. “Always extend GRACE. Show kindness. Love others by the example Christ set for us. And if you could put ‘grace’ in all caps, we all need (that).” Amen and amen.Y
HOW TO SERVE DURING A PANDEMIC Think outside the box. If you can’t give back the way you normally do, how can you serve that same effort in another way? For instance, if you typically volunteer at the local theatre box office, can you donate or raise money for that theatre instead? They’ll certainly need it after this season! Use the power of the written word. Make a card or write a letter to those who are sick and/or stuck at home. You might contact a local nursing home about this — elderly residents are sure to be grateful someone was thinking of them! Donate! “Salvation Army is an excellent resource to be able to give (to),” Kelly says, “or Mississippi Food Network.” You can give used items to Salvation Army at 110 Presto Lane in Jackson, or donate financially at salvationarmyalm.org/jackson. Mississippi Food Network is not taking physical food donations, but you can “shop” to donate specific items by scrolling down to the VIRTUAL FOOD DRIVE box at msfoodnet.org — or you can donate financially by clicking the Donate tab at the top of the page.
mschristianliving.com ❘ AUGUST 2020 23
➺feature
by SARAH MCLAUGHLIN
Catching up with CJ Stewart: Bearing fruit, impacting lives
M
ississippians know CJ Stewart as the U.S. Army
eventually became Camp Down Range in Clinton. Camp Down Range began on what was previously the medic from Madison whose 193-acre Camp Kickapoo. Camp life was changed over a decade ago in Down Range used experiential Afghanistan. CJ spent 18 months outdoor learning to shape the lives of recovering in a Washington D.C. young adolescents and teach them hospital from severe injuries caused how to overcome obstacles. CJ’s vision by a rocket propelled grenade (RPG). was to show others how faith can be After recovering, he soon got to work strengthened through challenges. impacting young lives — something he During this time, CJ was also continues doing today in new ways. connected with Jackson Academy’s Attacks on CJ’s 101st Airborne Soar program, which made use of the Division in southern Afghanistan were obstacle course and outdoor learning normal. But the mid-morning attack on opportunities at Camp Down Range. CJ June 15, 2010, proved life-changing for eventually became director of the Soar CJ. When the RPG struck the wall of program, which was established on the their outpost, debris ruptured an basis of Isaiah 40:30-31 — “Even artery in his bicep, concrete left a lifeyouths grow tired and weary, and threatening injury in his thigh, and his young men stumble and fall, but right arm was all but gone. In the midst those who hope in the Lord of the chaos, pain and disorientation, will renew their strength. CJ remained calm under pressure as They will soar on wings he put a tourniquet around his leg. like eagles; they will Over the next five days, CJ was taken run and not grow to Kandahar, Bagram, and Germany weary, they will walk for several crucial operations before and not be faint” finally landing in D.C., where at Walter (emphasis added). Reed Hospital he underwent most of CJ cultivated the 43 surgeries on his arm. That’s distinct goals based where his life truly began to change. on the program’s For 60 days, CJ was bedridden and From left, Danielle, Paisley and CJ Stewart. title. “Soar” stands his feet never touched the ground. It for: service, was there in his physical healing that God He works all things together for opportunity, adventure, began to spiritually transform him. CJ our good. and relationship. Whether explained that he was a believer in Christ Today CJ remembers this, saying, students were on a rafting before he got hurt, yet not truly a follower. “If God’s not your life, then He’s not in Meaning, the injuries he sustained in your life.” CJ says his injuries were the CJ and Danielle adopted trip or obstacle course, or serving in the Jackson Aubree Grace Stewart Afghanistan were not an accident – they were beginning of a journey where Christ on May 28. community, the students evidence of God’s sovereignty, the truth that showed him one of the purposes for realized, as CJ put it, that his life: impacting the lives of “we look different on the outside, but on the others. CJ’s mission became inside, we have a lot in common.” to “love God, love others, to One year, a team made up of football share the truth and bear players and one school band member had to the fruit.” complete an obstacle course. At first, the But what is this fruit, and football players overlooked their team what does this mission member from the band and assumed he look like? wouldn’t be able to help. But soon they realized When CJ asked God to only the band member had the patience and reveal a new assignment for his life, that mission first came creativity needed to complete the course. This in the form of founding the CJ taught them that, in the body of Christ, they all needed one another (1 Corinthians 12:27). Stewart Foundation, which CJ, in red, helps students in Jackson Academy’s Soar program.
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CJ, center, during his deployment in Afghanistan, four months before his life changed forever.
When the boys got back to JA, they were friends who had a deeper appreciation for each other and for the unique skills God had given each of them. Although CJ’s role with both the Soar program and Camp Down Range have shifted recently, he’s continued seeking opportunities to impact others. Today this opportunity has taken shape through CJ’s involvement with Sunnybrook Children’s Home in Ridgeland. Sunnybrook began in 1963 with a mission of helping children ages 6 through 20 who need basic familial care that they otherwise would not receive. Although Sunnybrook has been around for decades, it continues to evolve alongside the ever-changing approaches to foster care in Mississippi. In response to legislative changes in the state, Sunnybrook created the Transitional Living Program in November 2019, around the time CJ and his wife got involved with the organization — and CJ became the
Before taking on his current role at Sunnybrook Children’s Home, CJ (foreground) was assistant director of a transitional living program in Long Island, New York, where he and Danielle also served as houseparents to 10 teenage guys.
Transitional Living Program director. The program, CJ explained, helps young adults ages 15-20 who need, as the program’s title suggests, help transitioning from adolescence to adulthood and independence. Also at Sunnybrook, CJ and Danielle, Danielle, are in the process of becoming houseparents for six teenage girls. The guidance that CJ and his wife seek to give others started with the journey God took CJ on after his injury in Afghanistan. CJ explained that “God had to wreck my world to save my soul.” Every day, CJ explains, he deeply feels that he wakes up with a purpose, a need to fight —
and since his time at Walter Reed, he’s continued to fight for the lives of people who’ve gone through adversity. “At the end of the day, life’s hard for everybody, and we don’t get to choose what happens to us, but we do get to choose how we respond to it,” he said. CJ knows that young people who’ve endured hardships need truth to cling to, something to hold on to when they’re in the midst of darkness and difficulty. In many ways, his hopes for young adults point to David’s words in the psalms as he wrote, “When my heart is faint … lead me to the Rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy” (Psalm 61:2-3). Y
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mschristianliving.com ❘ AUGUST 2020 25
➺this is my story by HANNA BROOME
Claiming God’s promises after a miscarriage
A
Hanna and her husband, Jonathan, with their sons (from left) Logan and Aiden.
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AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
tiny foot. That is what I remember
most about the day I found out our baby girl’s heart was no longer beating. Just a few weeks earlier, we’d had a strong fetal heartbeat at my 12-week checkup. About 10 days later, we’d gotten the call with results from the prenatal blood test: low risk for all the tested genetic disorders; a healthy girl! We held the gender reveal on Zoom due to the COVID-19 pandemic. For the next few weeks, I was in full “nesting” mode. During week 15, we moved the furniture into the nursery and hung Muppet artwork on the walls and curtains over the windows. The room transformed into the symbol of a hopeful future: the birth of our third child. I went alone to my 16-week checkup, due to pandemic-related restrictions. After about 10 minutes in the waiting room, a nurse took my vitals and escorted me to an exam room for the sonogram. Two nurses attempted to find a heartbeat — and failed. I headed to the ultrasound technician next. I was starting to get a bit uncomfortable, but still thought maybe the baby was in a weird position, or some other simple explanation. I recognized the ultrasound technician from my first visit. She was kind and relaxed as she started her assessment. She quickly found images of Rachel in the womb. I saw her tiny foot, and I said, “Oh, I see her foot!” The technician was quietly taking pictures and measurements. After taking about five pictures, she put her hand on my thigh and gently said, “I am not seeing a heartbeat.” It didn’t register at first. Thoughts raced through my mind: “Is this common? Is it a machine malfunction?” The technician left the room to get my doctor. I lay in the dark alone and looking up at pictures of my sweet baby. The first thought in my mind at this point was, “LORD!” I spoke to Him aloud, something I rarely do. I said, “Lord, I could really use a miracle right now … but, I trust in Your will completely.” It was a simple prayer, and it ended with my eyes filling with tears. It was starting to sink in. My sweet baby girl was no longer with me. She was back in the loving arms of Jesus.
Scenes I had imagined of her first days in this world — holding her in my arms, changing those first diapers — were replaced with visions of her sweet spirit in the loving arms of the Most High God. A God who loves her more that I could fathom. A God who understands the loss of a child — because He sent his only Son to be crucified to pay the sin debt for all mankind (John 3:16). My doctor was kind and patient as she explained what had happened: a missed miscarriage. She left the room to schedule the D&C procedure, and I pulled out my phone and read through Psalm 139: “My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (v. 15-16). I texted my husband; if I had called him, I would have struggled to speak through sobs. I typed the details and ended the text with, “I know God has a plan and I trust Him.” He responded, “He does.” By the time I arrived home that afternoon, the tears had abated. I focused on the blessings I had at home: a loving and supportive husband and two healthy boys. I was not angry with God; I felt I had no right to be. I counted my blessings — one of which is the fact that God DOES have a plan, and it is greater than any I could imagine. I will always remember seeing my daughter’s tiny foot at that last prenatal visit. While it marks one of the most painful experiences of my life, it is evidence of Psalm 139. That little foot shows that God is THE miracle worker; I also know He is a promise maker and promise keeper. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). Y
Hanna Broome lives in Madison with her husband, Jonathan, and their two boys, Aiden (6) and Logan (4). They are active members at Twin Lakes Baptist Church.
If you aren’t sure whether you have a relationship with God or where you’ll go when you die, please don’t put this magazine down until you’ve read the following:
✝ THE PROBLEM
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. – Romans 3:23 For the wages of sin is death… – Romans 6:23a The natural result and consequence of our sin is eternal death, or hell (Revelation 20:15), separated from God. This is because God is completely perfect and holy (Matthew 5:48), and His justice demands that sin be punished (Proverbs 11:21).
✝ THE SOLUTION
…but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:23b But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8 Jesus Christ died in our place on the cross and took on the punishment for all our sins (Isaiah 53:4-6). Then God raised Him from the dead (John 20)!
✝ HOW TO RECEIVE SALVATION
If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. – Romans 10:9
✝ IS IT FOR ANYONE?
Trust in what Jesus has done for you — His death for your sins and His resurrection — and trust Him as Lord.
✝ THE RESULTS
For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. – Romans 10:13
Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. – Romans 5:1 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39
✝ WHAT TO DO NEXT
So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. – Romans 10:17
If you decided to trust in Jesus, grow in your faith by reading more of God’s Word in the Bible. We recommend the gospel of John (it comes just after Luke) as a good starting point — or Romans! Finding a church close to you that teaches faith in Christ is another important step. It’s crucial to spend time with other believers so we can encourage each other in our faith. If you have questions about anything on this page, please contact us at 601.896.1432, or send us a message on Facebook @MSChristianLiving, Instagram @mschristianmag or Twitter @MSChristLiving. mschristianliving.com ❘ AUGUST 2020 27
➺this is my story by REBECCA LEE
How God healed my ‘fantasy’ marriage
Rebecca and her husband, Chris, with their kids (from left) Alex, David and Luke.
I
magine a fantasy year of marriage:
Someone else pays your bills and funds your husband’s post-graduate degree, no debt exists, and you have a flexible and well-paying part-time job; free time abounds to be together and with friends; you gain SCUBA certifications, explore New Zealand and Australia, and spend your second anniversary on a secluded island on the Great Barrier Reef for free; and you’re connected to a thriving church body. This was life during our second year of marriage while my husband served as a Rotary Ambassadorial Scholar in Brisbane, Australia. Then … reality hit. We moved to the Jackson area for my husband to start medical school,
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AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
and I began seminary while working in collegiate ministry. We were not prepared for the demands that school and work put on our marriage. Our paths grew apart as we weren’t connecting like before. I felt neglected because of the many hours of studying and time spent at the hospital. Bitterness began in me, mostly toward my husband. We were involved in a great church and small group, but did not join in extra gatherings or deeper connection because of our stressful and busy lives. There was an alliance for medical wives at the hospital, but I didn’t have time to participate in that either. So, as busy as I was, I often felt very alone.
No other set of books, except the Bible, will prepare the reader for an abundant life NOW and for a glorious ETERNITY better than Attorney Job, Hallelujah, Love & War and The Sound of Glorious Marriage Music. These books can be reviewed and purchased at amazon.com. Select Books and type in “by Joe Ragland.”
ATTY JOE RAGLAND, J.D., LL.M., LL.D. Personal Injury Trial Attorney/Workplace Injuries Tel. 601-969-5050 • Info: www.raglandministries.org Click CONTACT to subscribe to Ragland Newsletters
eO k!
EGBO nh n
ryt
Rebecca Lee lives in Madison with her husband, Chris, and three kids: Alex, David and Luke. She coaches cross-country at St. Augustine School in Ridgeland. She also co-leads a local chapter of Side by Side, a Christian ministry to wives of medical and dental trainees and professionals.
“A Masterpiece in Jurisprudence!”
Eve
During this time, I poured out my heart and questioned God in my prayer journal. Looking back, it was a lot of complaining and expressing selfish desires. I was deceived with many of my thoughts. I didn’t stop and listen to the Lord as often as I should have — though I was obedient when I sensed the Lord telling me to leave my ministry position after two years. Changing jobs helped. But I still tried to fill the void in our marriage with triathlons and friendships. These became disastrous idols or replacements as they took focus and energy away from our marriage. Satan was clearly trying to destroy our marriage, and I was letting him.
We landed in Little Rock, Arkansas, for residency, but carried a lot of baggage with us. In the middle of our time there, our marriage was struggling, but thankfully, we decided to seek counseling. This helped get us on the right path, but only so far. Some older friends mentored and helped us through this time as well. Awareness, conviction, forgiveness, humility and guidance started the healing process. Grace re-entered. We had to let go of all hindrances toward our marriage, and work to prioritize it. Our God began a hard but beautiful work in us to get us on a solid path with healthier habits to restore our marriage. After five years in Little Rock, we moved back to the Jackson area with a growing family. We continued our healing process and sought new counseling, which took us deeper. Eventually, through a powerful prayer ministry, Jesus healed our emotional scars and the roots of our brokenness. Our marriage is not perfect today. However, we have tools to help us connect emotionally now. We approach our struggles differently, as we have grown so much in 21 years of marriage. We serve and support each other better. We’ve created margin in our lives and can sense more quickly when life gets too busy, which allows us to adjust. We trust the Lord with all aspects of our family as we’ve witnessed His powerful work of reconciliation, restoration and beauty from pain. A few years ago, I decided to challenge myself with a marathon. It was so different than my specialties of middle-distance races. Each type of race requires different strategies and preparations. Marriage is definitely more like the marathon. You have to pace yourself to endure the long haul. You don’t know what every turn will hold, but you can prepare for it by exercising muscles of faith in God consistently and doing the small things daily to strengthen a marriage before challenges arise. We’ve learned to be thankful when life is cruising and when obstacles come our way. Ultimately, we’ve learned to live loved by God and not depend on each other as our source of love. We disappoint each other at times, but God satisfies our every need. Y
Attorney Job: The Adventures of a Great Lawyer!
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’s G o n n a
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egbosmiles.com mschristianliving.com ❘ AUGUST 2020 29
➺food for thought recipes by JAY MORGAN
Friday Night Porch Party
Jay's Hot Chips and Jalapeño Dip
Mama Nell's Pot Roast
Who doesn't love good ole chips and dip? It was served at every childhood birthday I ever attended, and it was my absolute favorite. I always asked for a second scoop of store-bought dip. Even though I still love it as an adult, I always feel a little lazy when I serve store-bought chips and dip. So I created an adult version of what I've always loved. Chips: 1 bag Ritz Crisp & Thins 1 bag Cheez-It Snap’d 1 bag Bugles 1½ cups oil 2 packages dry ranch dressing mix 2 tablespoons red pepper flakes 1 teaspoon garlic powder
Do you have that person in your life who you can’t find anything negative to say about? For me, that was our neighbor Mama Nell. She was happy and laughing all the time and was a friend to all, especially me. Everyone believes their grandmother’s pot roast is the best, but y’all are all wrong. Mama Nell’s was the best! It’s tender and juicy and makes the perfect gravy. Growing up, it was on our Sunday lunch rotation. After enjoying it for lunch, my mama would take the leftovers and serve roast and gravy on a piece of white bread. Oh my gosh, y’all. Delicious! Roast of your choice (I like a chuck roast) 1 can golden mushroom soup 1 can cream of mushroom soup 1 can diced tomatoes 1 large onion, sliced Sliced mushrooms (optional) Minced garlic Salt and pepper
Preheat oven to 250. Combine all but the first three ingredients in a small bowl and set aside. Empty all the chips into a large bowl. Pour seasoning over the chips and gently move them around until fully coated. Spread chips on cookie sheets and bake until lightly brown and dried out, usually 30-45 minutes. Stir every 15 minutes to keep from burning. Dip: 1 cup sour cream ½ cup mayonnaise ¼ cup pickled jalapeños, finely chopped 1 tablespoon minced onions, dried 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon onion powder Salt and pepper to taste Combine all ingredients and refrigerate for 1 hour before serving. .
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AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Generously coat both sides of your roast with salt, pepper and garlic. Heat a skillet to medium. Add a little oil and brown all sides of your roast. With the exception of the onions, combine remaining ingredients in Dutch oven or slow cooker. Nestle the roast down into the sauce, and top with onions. If using a Dutch oven, bake at 350 for 3½–4 hours. If using a Crock Pot, cook on low about 8 hours. Not only does this make a great roast, it also makes the perfect gravy for rice or mashed potatoes.
Fresh Tomato and Basil Bake Absolutely nothing epitomizes Mississippi summer more than fresh tomatoes. Honestly, I haunt the local farmer’s market at the beginning of June every summer to wait on their arrival. The funny thing is, I hated tomatoes until I was an adult. Now they are my favorite. This flavorful dish will make a great side for any special dinner. Your friends and family will love it. 1 stick + 4 tablespoons butter, divided 1 whole onion, diced 3 cups fresh tomatoes, chopped (3 cans diced tomatoes may be substituted) 1 cup grated Parmesan ½ cup fresh basil, cut into ribbons ¼ cup brown sugar 1 teaspoon garlic powder 2½ sleeves Ritz crackers Salt and pepper Preheat oven to 350. In a large skillet or Dutch oven, cook onions in the stick of butter until translucent. Add tomatoes, basil, brown sugar and garlic powder. Simmer about 10 minutes. Crush 1½ sleeves of the crackers and add to the tomato mixture. Stir in the Parmesan, salt and pepper. Transfer to an 8½ x 11" casserole dish. In a separate bowl, melt 4 tablespoons butter. Combine with 1 sleeve Ritz crackers, coarsely broken but not crushed. Top the tomato mixture with the crackers. Bake 30 minutes until thoroughly heated and cracker topping is nicely toasted.Y
Jay Morgan and his wife, Lou Anne, have been hosting Friday night porch parties for 25 years, including at their current home in Madison since 2004. Jay invites whomever God puts on his heart during the week, and cooks like a crazy person! Follow them at fridaynightporchparty.com, or on Instagram @fridaynightporchparty for more recipes and lots of fun.
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➺tough questions with barb by BRENNA WEAVER
Should I take my child out of school due to bullying? QUESTION: My child is being bullied at school (or was, before COVID). We tried to teach her how to deal with it, but that didn’t seem to work. She’s about to return to school with those same kids. At what point do we pull her out and homeschool her? Dear Parent,
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Joni Davis, REALTOR® Cell: 601-503-3612 Office: 601-607-4777 Joniddavis84@hotmail.com
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AUGUST 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
It is woeful when any child experiences bullying, and it is especially heartbreaking when it is your own child. Bullying, according to Merriam-Webster, is defined as abuse and mistreatment of someone vulnerable by someone stronger or more powerful. In 2015, the U.S. Department of Education found that approximately 25 percent of children between 12 and 18 reported being bullied at school. Bullying can be physical (physical contact, spitting, damaging property); relational (spreading rumors, purposefully ignoring); verbal (name calling, teasing, making threats); and cyber-connected (social media, email, texts). The effects of bullying can include anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and developmental regression, depending on the age of the child. You mentioned you have tried to teach her how to deal with it herself. Without knowing what that looked like, I’ll say this: StopBullying.gov recommends children clearly tell the bully, “Stop,” and encourages children to walk away and talk with a trusted adult. If you had her try these things and they did not work, have you considered a parent/teacher conference or speaking with the parents of the other child(ren) involved? With this situation, I am reminded of Matthew 18:15-17 — when a brother sins against you, go to him, and if that does not work, bring others with you — and ultimately, take it before the church if the previous attempts are fruitless. In this case, has it gone before the school principal or school board? Shining a light on the bullying incidents with your daughter could allow other children who are being harmed to come forward and possibly highlight a larger problem within the school. If you have done those things to no avail or if you would prefer to keep the matter small, talking with your child about homeschooling would be wise before pulling her out. Is your child involved in any extracurricular activities such as band, academic clubs, or sports? If so, is there a way for her to stay involved? Is switching to a different school a possibility? Do you have other school-aged children, and would you homeschool them too? In what ways would homeschooling affect the dynamic of the household, for good or bad? Brainstorming solutions together could open a door you have not yet considered. Whether you decide to keep her in the same school environment or to homeschool her, counseling may be a good option also. She can process the bullying she has experienced, regain her confidence, and learn strategies to healthily set boundaries with others for future situations. I imagine this will not be a decision you make lightly. Allow Philippians 4:6-7 to encourage you as you decide: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Y Brenna Weaver is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Ridgeland working with clients 18 years and older. She has experience as a secondary education teacher and children’s therapist. When not working, she enjoys reading, eating good food, and traveling.
Do you see a LEADER when you look in the mirror? HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS: Share your story of faith and leadership for a chance to re-
ceive a scholarship toward college tuition. Applications and instructions are available at MSChristianLiving.com or through school counselors. Application deadline: November 13.
Mississippi Christian Living, in partnership with Belhaven University, will honor our 13th class of Christian Leaders of the Future at an afternoon event on Belhaven’s campus on March 2, 2021. Two interactive back-to-back workshops will be followed by a reception, keynote speaker presentation, and awarding of two $1,000 scholarships.
Deadl Novem ine
ber 13
For more information, email Suzanne Durfey at suzanne@mschristianliving.com or email katie@mschristianliving.com mschristianliving.com â?˜ AUGUST 2020 33
➺quips & quotes ✂
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The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. ~ PROVERBS 1:7, ESV
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Belhaven University.........................................2 C Spire .............................................................3
~ PSALM 32:8, ESV
Wonder is the desire for knowledge.
Capital Ortho ................................................31
~ Thomas Aquinas
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. ~ JAMES 1:5, ESV
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
God-centered exultation is rooted in God-centered education.
Christian Leaders of the Future ................. 33 Covenant Caregivers.......................................8
~ John Piper
Everything’s Gonna Be Ok!...........................29
Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe.
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~ 1 CORINTHIANS 1:20-21, ESV ~ PROVERBS 22:6, ESV
The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles but to irrigate jungles. ~ C.S. Lewis
Joe Ragland ..................................................29 Joni Davis, REALTOR ....................................32
Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause. ~ ISAIAH 1:17, ESV
Mascagni Wealth Management ...................36 Miskelly Furniture..........................................11 Mississippi College Department of
What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me — practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
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~ PHILIPPIANS 4:9, ESV)
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Isolating the student from large sections of human knowledge is not the basis of a Christian education. Rather it is giving him or her the framework or total truth, rooted in the Creator’s existence and in the Bible’s teaching.
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~ Francis Schaeffer
St. Dominic’s..................................................35
The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character — that is the goal of true education. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
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