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Volume 8, Number 12 Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc., Member, M.I.P.A. Editor: Marilyn Tinnin marilyn@MSChristianliving.com
columns 8 The Way I See It A Daily Walk
10 Let’s Talk It Over Grief Wears Many Faces
13 Education Connection Mama Always Said…
14 This Is My Story The Blessing of Infertility
16 Living My Call A Passion for Orphans
18 Truly Wed Seeing Through the Glass Clearly
20 Welcome Home
features
24
Focus on Framing
22 Healthy Living
Alison & Jody Schmelzer’s
Inspiring Everyday Exercise
A Journey of Faith
32 Food for Thought Sweets for Mom
34 Lagniappe Noonday Collection
36 Fresh Finds Fresh Home Décor
38 Christian Commerce
16
Caring Transitions
41 Legal Advice Don’t Procrastinate—Plan Today
in every issue 6 43 44 45 46 46
10
14
Editor’s Letter What’s Going On Rave Reviews Event Calendar Quips & Quotes Advertiser Index
What’s Coming Next Month? Rockey Felker Heart, Home, and Following Jesus
Associate Editor: Suzanne Tanner Durfey Art Direction/Graphic Design Sandra K. Goff Sales Marilyn Tinnin, Kimberly Stephens, Suzanne Tanner Durfey Contributing Writers Ariel Anderton, Betsy Bailey, Lydia Bolen, Kimberly Grace Bowman, Elizabeth Brassard, C. Rochelle Culp, Tina Ferguson, Dan Hall, Hazel Hall, Misty Lacey, Amy O’Mara, Susan E. Richardson, B.J. Swafford, Martin E. Willoughby, Jr., Elizabeth Wynn Cover Photography Stegall Imagery Distribution Assistants Laura Kidder, Randy Fortenberry, Andrea Sabillion, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Priscilla Sullivan, Bob Whatley, Amanda Weems
Mississippi Christian Living 573 Highway 51 North, Suite C Ridgeland, MS 39157 Phone 601-790-9076 • Fax 601-7909078 www.MSchristianliving.com
Mississippi Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and lifechanging encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Mississippi Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Mississippi Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2013 by Mississippi Christian Living, Inc. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of International Bible Society.
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➺editor’s letter Moms—One Size Does Not Fit All “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up,” Deuteronomy 11:18, 19.
am a child of the 1950s. I tell the story often of traveling the hot and dusty Delta—in cars without air conditioning or seatbelts—accompanying my mother who wrote feature stories for The Commercial Appeal, the DeltaDemocrat Times and The Clarion-Ledger. She was not fretting over my perception of
I
❝
I love you to the moon and back!
❞
– “I love you to the moon and back!” (from Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney)
6 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
women at all as she dragged me along. She just had no other options on those days. She may have thought, “I can’t wait for Marilyn to be in school,” but I don’t think she did. Educational television had not been invented. Neither had video games. A doll and a “Little Golden Book” were about all I had to pass the time while Mama conducted an interview. I did not feel neglected. I was very proud to be my mother’s daughter, and there was never a doubt in my mind that I was a much loved child. I see how hard my daughter works, and I imagine her daughter, Marilyn Wilton Bailey, will view her mother’s career a lot like I viewed my mother’s. I felt included, and I was fine with that. The mission of a mother has really not changed in thousands of years despite the revolutionary cultural changes swirling around us. Mothers communicate messages to their children without ever speaking a word. And those messages frame their view of themselves, of others, and the role—or lack of a role—God plays in all of life. William Ross Wallace had it right when he wrote, “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” That is a powerful thought in these chaotic times. Amy Glass, a blogger I never heard of until this past January, wrote a piece called, “Why I Look Down on Young Women with Husbands and Kids and I’m Not Sorry.” It created quite a stir across the mainstream media with many applauding her thoughts and many furiously disputing her view that women who choose to be wives and mothers are simply settling for “average.” Google her and read the article—not to be angry, but to realize the world our children and grandchildren are inheriting is not the one we Baby Boomers remember. Never has the role of “mom” (or Grandmother) had more potential or value or challenge. One thing I have discovered in my checkered life is that mothering is so not a one-size-fits-all proposition. Every child owns a different part of your heart. There is no retirement once you sign on and the benefits are, from time to time, invisible altogether. It is a marathon sort of endeavor because, even if you try, you can never turn off the overwhelming concern for everything that affects these offspring. Those babies are forever designated “my children”—whether they are struggling with their peers on the playground, having a mid-life crisis of their own, or blaming you for anything that isn’t okay in their lives. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. I have a son and a daughter who mean the world to me. I also acquired three daughters I call my “bonus babies” when I married their father six years ago. I think I understand ‘adoption’ since Ashley, Jill, Natalie and I have forged an “adoptive” relationship. They were blessed to have had the love and example of a wonderful mother who taught them every important lesson they needed as wives and mothers themselves. It is notable that she lives on in them, in their values and the way they are wives and mothers to their own. My role in their lives is easy. You will see adoption presented often in this Mother’s Day issue. After all, you and I and every believer in this fallen world are incredibly blessed to have been adopted into the family of a gracious Heavenly Father. That particular adoption totally changes every aspect of our future— for all eternity. I warn you ahead of time that you might just need a Kleenex here and there. Happy Mother’s Day. P.S.You are not seeing things. The cover does indeed say Mississippi Christian Living. This is a long overdue change since our reach encompasses the entire state and has for a while. More to come. Look for us—in Tupelo, Starkville, and everywhere! www.MSChristianliving.com. Y
Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and Editor marilyn@MSChristianliving.com
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➺the way i see it by MARTIN E. WILLOUGHBY, JR.
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A Daily Walk
W
We live our lives in day tight compartments. We wake up. We go about our daily life and at night we return to the mystery of sleep. This may seem shockingly obvious. However, I point this out because our brains seem to constantly churn with thoughts about our past and our future—skipping right over the present. I think we can often overcomplicate our life in Christ. No matter the activities that fill your day, I believe there are some simple things we can do to stay close in our walk with Jesus and to let our light shine before others so that they may see Christ in us.
Be Still “Be still, and know that I am God,” (Psalm 46:10). There are endless things to occupy our every waking moment. There will always be email in the inbox. I think about how absurd it would seem if the post office delivered mail every five minutes from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed. Would I spend all day checking my mailbox and feverishly sending out mail to others? Take five minutes today to enjoy rest at the feet of the Father.
Show Forgiveness
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601.939.5082 8 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult,” (Proverbs 12:16). There are countless insults, both large and small, that come our way every day. It is folly to think that people will not let us down. We are fallen creatures. While we are quick to notice the slightest insults or wrongs against us, we are often blind to how our own daily actions may be negatively impacting others. A life in faith is one where we drink deeply from the cup of God’s grace towards us, and our cup overflows daily with a life of grace for those around us. The next time someone wrongs you, consider pausing and reacting in love versus anger.
Be Generous “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow’—when you now have it with you,” (Proverbs 3:27). In my almost 25 years in the business world, I have continually been amazed how people’s true colors come out when significant money is involved. As most of you know, there is more
My own observation is that the happiest people I know are the most generous. written about money in the Bible than almost any other topic. I think it is because God knows that we are selfish creatures, and it is only through his Grace that we can look beyond our own needs and consider the needs of others. My own observation is that the happiest people I know are also the most generous. Look for opportunities each day to act with a generous spirit.
Ask Questions “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice,” (Proverbs 12:15). I believe when we stop learning, we stop truly living. I have found that the wisest people are not those who talk the most; instead they are those who listen the most. They recognize that there is always more to learn. I believe we each have unique journeys in life full of rich and diverse experiences. Shame on me if I don’t take the time to ask questions and learn from others. What you will find when you cultivate the habit of asking questions is that one of the greatest gifts you can ever give someone is to take time to ask great questions and truly listen to the response. Who can you learn from today? Y Martin E. Willoughby, Jr,. is Chief Operating Officer of Butler Snow Advisory Services, LLC located in Ridgeland. He and his wife, Nicki, have two children, Ally and Trey, and live in Memphis, Tennessee.
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➺let’s talk it over by ARIEL ANDERTON
Grief Wears Many Faces pring is here and summer is already poking through. These seasons could bring you graduations, weddings, home purchases, new neighbors, baby introductions, sports schedules, social gatherings and more. What do all of these have in common?
S
They involve change, or transition in pace of life. When this is positive change or the result of our choice we often don’t think grief may be part of the picture. Seems like an odd thing for me to be bringing up doesn’t it? There didn’t seem to be anything in the list to be sad about, so why talk about grief? I’m thinking of grief as the result of the loss of something due to change, whether positive or negative change. Grief can manifest itself as sadness or just a simple longing for something. I want to talk about grief because it is the untapped gem of emotion that our culture has cast aside so “successfully” that we don’t know what to do with it. Grief is the secret
bridge that leads to peace and joy that no one thinks to direct you to. Usually we are all doing everything we can do to avoid it because feeling sad or just not happy is not what we want to do with our time, or we might fear getting stuck there. If we avoid feeling those feelings, we guarantee part of us will be stuck there and will stay frozen as long as we choose to avoid them. I’m going to share three ways to move into and through grief to “spring clean” your heart, keeping it free and open to receive good things.
Acknowledge the Grief of First Baptist Church Jackson
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This might be the hardest part because we are so conditioned to avoid grief we might not even notice it when it’s upon us short of a tragic event. Look for the possibility of grief whenever there is a change or transition—even when it appears to be something good. For example, changing from singleness to marriage. There are good things about singleness you lose to be married, e.g. certain independence and freedoms, only considering Kingdom concerns rather than family also (1 Cor. 7:3235). Grieving as part of this transition doesn’t mean you are making a wrong choice or you don’t love your spouse enough. You are being kind to your heart to notice what is lost or different.
First Baptist Jackson ◆ 431 North State Street
601.949.1949 www.summitfirst.org
10 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Tell the Story How did this change or transition come about? What was it like for you before versus now? For example, graduation is a huge step closer to your child’s independence, and that’s what you ultimately want for them, right? But that also means you don’t get to be
intimately involved in their day-to-day life and there’s loss in that. Letting the loss matter alongside the celebration of achievement is a more accurate, full picture of the reality you are experiencing. Hiding or denying the grief side is to lie to yourself and others, and that produces bad fruit somewhere, somehow. To clarify, I am not suggesting talking about every detail of the grief with each guest that shows up for graduation dinner or with the graduate. I am suggesting that you select at least one or two people in your life to tell the whole story with as it unfolds. Grief has a knack of showing up in a variety of ways, leaving for a while, and then showing up again and maybe again and again. That brings me to the next suggestion.
Choose the Present Be where you are. If you’re not grieving today don’t make yourself dwell on it. But when it shows up, be intentional to give it attention. You can count on grief as the needy guest that keeps showing up until it does not need to visit you anymore. The more hospitable you are to grief, the less visits are needed typically. Arrange to address it on purpose within the day or so somewhere with a journal entry and a coffee conversation or a phone date. I love the picture of Jesus who arrives at the home of Lazarus, his very dear friend who is dead now, and he weeps. He weeps with those who also loved Lazarus. He could have just as easily skipped all that sadness and said, “No more tears everyone. I’m going to awaken him right now!” But Jesus saw value in being in the sadness with the loss. If Jesus—who could thoroughly fix anything at anytime—chose to delay that for time first to grieve, it seems we ought to make more room for it in our lives too. There is good there for us. Notice that grief requires others. There is no such thing as grieving alone; that is spinning your wheels in the mud of misery. Progressing through grief, we will always need someone with us. Let’s grieve more together. Y Ariel Anderton, MT, MA, LPC, LMFT, is the child &adolescent therapist for Summit Counseling. She and her family have lived in the area since 2006.
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education connection by B. J. SWAFFORD
A
Mama Always Said…
As a mother, we have a desire to rear the “perfect” child. Is this possible? All we can do is TRY. Teaching them manners is one of our most important tasks. After all, manners keep us civilized.
Mothers today have so many responsibilities that often times we do not take time to teach our children good manners—which include among many things, table graces, telephone manners, how to write a proper thank you note, proper introductions, and how to select a proper stationery wardrobe. I realize most young people really do want to make a good impression and therefore knowing how to act and react in a social situation will help them as they face the real world. Knowing good manners sets them apart from ones who have not been given basic etiquette knowledge. As an etiquette teacher, I find knowing how to write a proper thank you note is a point of etiquette we might revisit. We notice this lack of manners when we send wedding gifts, graduation gifts, baby gifts, and birthday gifts, and we wait and wait and no note is forthcoming. It always seems strange to me that one would send an invitation with the expectation of receiving a gift, and then not take the time to thank the person that has certainly taken time to select a special gift for the occasion. I find it even stranger to see the person and they do not even verbally thank you. So, here we go—everything you need to know in to order to write a proper note. Proper stationery is a must. You may choose a blank thank you note called an informal or you may have your name placed on the front of the note. You should never use stationery with THANK YOU on the front of the note as this is considered in poor taste. Your starting point in writing your note is at the top fold of your note. Please use black or blue ink. The lady of the home is considered the social secretary of the family; therefore, the salutation of your note would begin, “Dear Mrs.” Or if you are on a first name basis, you use her first name. Your first sentence would say; “Thank you and Mr. (or his first name)” for (gift description). If family were included on gift card then you would include their names after “Mr.”
Try to make a personal comment to the family. When they receive your note they will know you put some thought and care into writing your note. Take time in writing your closing to be creative. Most brides and graduates say, “Thank you for remembering me during this special time in my life.” You may say the same thing, but express it in a different way such as: “It is such an exciting time for me; I appreciate your thoughtfulness and kindness.” Everyone receiving your note will recognize your effort in making your notes charming and personal. The stationery you have chosen will determine how you will sign your name on your note. You will sign your notes with your first and last name when you do not have your full name on your stationery. You want to make sure that the giver knows exactly who has written the note.
It always seems strange to me that one would send an invitation with the expectation of receiving a gift and then not take the time to thank the person that has certainly taken time to select a special gift for the occasion. The last point of etiquette for a properly written note is to date it on the bottom left hand corner of the note. The date may be written in a number of ways, as they are all correct. Use this formula for thanking the next person who gives you a gift or favor and you will put a smile on their face. Remember, you should write a note even though you may have opened the gift in front of the giver. With a smile on my face, I say you do not have to write me a thank you note; just thank editor, Marilyn Tinnin. My book, What to Do ‘till “I DO,” is a complete guide for you for many other etiquette points. Y B. J. Swafford, Certified Consultant, of Everyday Etiquette can contacted at bjswafford@bellsouth.net.
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➺this is my story by AMY O’MARA
The
Blessing of Infertility
Sunday, May 9, 2010. It was Mother’s Day. As I sat in church holding Patrick’s hand the music started, “Before the throne of God above I have a strong and perfect plea. A great high Priest whose Name is Love Who ever lives and pleads for me. My name is graven on His hands, My name is written on His heart. I know that while in Heaven He stands No tongue can bid me thence depart.” (Original words by Charitie Lees Bancroft (1841-1892))
The tears began to flow. It had been eight amazing years of marriage, but we were unable to have children. We had been labeled “infertile.” The word resonated in my head that morning as I watched dear friends kiss and hug their little ones tight while they lovingly looked into their eyes as only a mother can. Will I ever know what that feeling is? Will I ever hold the hand of a little child, ever kiss them on their cheek or ever hug them tightly and call them mine? When would this end? How much longer? Why, Lord, why? Little did we know that very morning, seven thousand miles away in Seoul, South Korea, a tiny, four-pound, baby girl was waiting. She was ours, hand-picked by the Lord to be our daughter. It just wasn’t time. On March 3, 2011, after many long months of paperwork, waiting, and praying, we traveled to Korea to meet our daughter. That day is etched into our hearts forever. Thirteen-month-old Evelyn Byeol Wright O’Mara walked into the room, and we were parents. Not long after bringing Evelyn home we felt the Lord tugging again at our hearts. He had another little one waiting for us, and we began the process again. Twenty-six months later, we received the call to fly back to Korea to pick up Emily Ye-seul Elizabeth, a healthy, spunky, loving two-year-old bundle of energy. The Lord had answered our prayers above and beyond anything we could ask or imagine. All those long, sleepless nights and difficult days of waiting vanished. Our hearts were thankful. It is amazing to see things unfolding in the Lord’s perfect plan. Had we had it our way, we would have had two or three biological kids running around, and we never would have experienced the blessing of infertility. Yes, you read that correctly, the BLESSING of infertility. 14 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Three years ago I never thought I would have been saying this— but I would not trade our infertility for anything. The Lord has opened our eyes to the rollercoaster world of adoption and to the closeness to His heart through His glorious unfolding. We were all orphans once—spiritual orphans—until we were adopted by our Heavenly Father. As Ephesians 1:5-7 says, “Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace.” God loves us so much that He adopted us into His family and shares with us His glorious inheritance, totally undeserved. He took our sins upon Himself in the person of His Son and experienced suffering beyond measure for us—His ADOPTED children. While we are here on this earth He has given us an opportunity to experience a small portion of this love through physical adoption. We left the comfort of our home, stamped our love onto two girls,
and at great costs, brought them safely home just as the Lord has done for us. Once you’ve looked into the eyes of an orphan, her suffering is no longer her own. Once you’ve learned her name, and once you’ve heard her story you will never think about the world in the same way again. This Mother’s Day I am thankful for my two Korean-American daughters. Ours is a story only the Lord could write, and we are excited to see what He has in store for us in the chapters to come. “God’s plan from the start For this world and your heart Has been to show His glory and His grace Forever revealing the depth and the beauty of His unfailing Love And the story has only begun.” (From “Glorious Unfolding by Steven Curtis Chapman) Our story has only just begun. Y MSChristianliving.com ❘ MAY 2014 15
➺living my call by KIMBERLY GRACE BOWMAN
A Passion for Orphans
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“But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus Christ—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God,” (Acts 21:24).
As Americans, we take for granted many of the blessings God has given us. Modern life has attempted to steal gratitude from our hearts. And at the end of the day, are we really making a difference in this world for Christ? For Natalie Brown Stephens of Magee, Mississippi, her path to the mission field was not a certain one. In fact, she went to college, and while there, she began praying and truly seeking the Lord as to what He would want her to do with her life. Meanwhile, she was quite successful at what she was striving towards in college. But all throughout her senior year, she felt an emptiness and a longing in her heart that there had to be something more, something beyond success, something that was truly the path that God wanted her to take in life— something that was her purpose on this earth. While in prayer, she researched mission trips. Nearly immediately after her college graduation, Natalie took her first trip to the Philippines with the Bob Tebow Evangelistic Association. But three weeks turned into months as she returned and served in his orphanage. During this time, the Lord showed Natalie that this was his ultimate call on her life. This was what He made her for. Returning to the United States after those three months, Natalie entered a season of uncertainty. A season that had her wondering, “What do I do now? America is wonderful. We have everything.” But her heart belonged in the Philippines. Then she was encouraged by someone who said, “It doesn’t matter where you go or what you do, as long as you do it and take the name of Jesus with you.” At that moment she knew that God was telling her that it was time to make a decision. She could pursue seminary and return to the mission field, or she could get a job in America and be successful at that also. In her heart, she knew God would be pleased with either direction she chose. Moving to Dallas, Texas, Natalie pursued seminary. And even as she pursued this direction for her life, God was also able to use the other path as she served with Prestonwood Baptist Church in Texas. During this time, Natalie would learn, grow, and prepare for the season ahead of her.
16 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
In May of 2012, on a trip to the Philippines that Natalie assumed was just an opportunity for her to take her family to see the country that she was very passionate about, God opened “the big door” for her entrance to the work she longed to accomplish there. It was at this point that God connected her
with Jeff Long, an IMB (International Mission Board) missionary to the Philippines who founded Kids International Ministries (www.kidsim.org). During their conversation, she discovered that Jeff Long was seeking to begin a branch of his ministry for street kids on the very Filipino island and the exact ministry avenue that was on Natalie’s heart—Mindanao and the precious street kids of the islands. Her heart was filled with joy. This seemed so good to be true! Was this the Lord’s leading? After a time of prayer and confirmation, Natalie officially moved to the Philippines in January 2013, and spent the next seven months learning the necessary languages. And after those months, she moved to Cagayan De Oro, Philippines, on the island on Mindanao to begin a center and ministry for street kids there. In my recent interview with Natalie, she explained that the children they serve come from every kind of life. Although not all are orphans, some may come from abusive
families or families who are unable to fulfill all their needs. Some may be decently taken care of but desire freedom and therefore run away from home. Others are victims of poverty due to the typhoons of the recent years. These situations drive the young people to live on the streets, beg for daily income, and live in a terribly unsafe atmosphere. Natalie’s ministry in Cagayan De Oro brings 16 children into their center each day and provides food, hygiene care, and education. Each evening, they gather with these children plus many more for night ministry where the Gospel is presented. But they are trusting that God will provide the funds and staff so that land can be purchased and a permanent home can be built and established in order to give the street kids an inviting place to live and call home. The life we all live in America is wonderful. It is a blessing from God. But let us never forget the true purposes God has placed on each one of our lives. There lies a higher purpose than day-to-day living. Seek God today and allow him to show you just where you belong on this earth. It may not be a Third World country. But it will be exactly where God needs you in his Kingdom. To learn more about Natalie’s ministry Kahayag nga Dalan (“Streetlight”) and her life calling to help the children of the Philippines, visit her website at www.nataliebrownstephens.com. Kids International Ministries and Natalie’s branch of the ministry is openly welcome to receiving school, medical, and clothing supplies. Mission trip opportunities are also readily available for those who are interested. Those who are interested in any of these wonderful endeavors for the Kingdom of God can email Natalie directly at nataliebrownstephens@gmail.com. Y Kimberly Grace Bowman is a senior in high school througth A Deka Academy Homeschooling. Natalie Stephen’s personal story, visit www.nataliebrownstephens.com/ my-testimony.
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“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…and be thankful,” (Colossians 3:15).
onths ago after my miscarriage, I sat across the table from a close friend who was offering encouragement to me. I
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could tell she was trying to hold back the tears as she said, "I had six miscarriages and several failed in-vitro attempts, and so I know how you feel. " Ever since then I have felt convicted and have felt like I don't thank God enough for the gift of motherhood. As painful as my miscarriage was, I only had one. Not only that, but I have a beautiful, 14-month-old child who brings such joy to my life. How ungrateful I have been at times. I pray more for the “help me” tools—patience in the middle of complaining about all I have going on, and stamina in the stresses of balancing motherhood with a full-time job. Shouldn't I be thanking God for the miracle of life and allowing me to be a mother? Shouldn't I thank him for the awesome job I have been blessed to have for the last seven years instead of
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crying, “Being a mom and working is so hard." What am I saying to God when I am complaining about being a mom with a job? Am I saying His Grace is less than sufficient in my case? What about the single mom who has sent a bazillion resumes over the last few months and still hasn't found anything? Or what about the mom who lost her job because her child was always sick and she would show up late to work? Being a mom is tough. Whether you work full time or stay at home, at the end of the day, motherhood is a gift and a blessing. (Sorry you don't agree with me, Gwyneth Paltrow.) I know I get wrapped up with the "job" at times and fail to see the blessing. I see many posts on Facebook after babies are born thanking
God for their little lives. But what happens two years later when that blessing is standing in your kitchen throwing that "terrible two’s" fit? (Mari Wilton is advanced because she has already perfected the art of tantrum throwing at 14 months.) If you are a stay-at-home mom by choice— regardless of how hard it is—thank God for being able to do that. If you are a working mom, quit complaining. Thank God for the gifts He has given. It’s easy to get caught up in the negativity of the world. If you read book after book (or blog post after blog post) about how hard life is, how hard being a mom is, how hard being a working mom is, how hard being a stay-at-home mom is—how hard anything is—you will remain stuck there. Mary knew why Jesus was born, but she pondered all in her heart. I doubt she walked around complaining. There are Moms holding their children’s hands while they suffer through illness.Yet they are thankful for each moment they can spend with their babies. There are Moms sitting at the grave of their child wishing they could clean up one last bit of milk on the floor or help them through one more temper tantrum. There are Moms who are too sick to care for their children, but they do it anyway, thankful for one more day to have that opportunity. There are Moms who have no food or water for their babies and they are digging through trashcans for one morsel to feed them. And they do it with all of the courage and strength they can muster. So as we approach Mother's Day, I am praying to be more like Mary. Her life was never easy but she knew that God had called her to raise His Son. She did it with grace, perseverance and a heart of servanthood. Y Betsy Bailey is a medical device representative with Boston Scientific Neuromodulation. She lives in Olive Branch with her husband, Jason, and their daughter, Mari Wilton Bailey.
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We believe that every moment matters. Maybe that’s why so many families believe in us when it comes to choosing a hospice provider. Ask us about volunteer opportunities. Provide the gift of companionship and a listening ear to a family facing a life-limiting illness. For more information or to receive our free DVD, “Hospice and Your Loved One,” call 601-983-3193. gentiva.com/hospice
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➺welcome home by TINA FERGUSON
Focus on Framing hether it is a family photo or an oil painting—presentation is as important as the picture. Choosing the right framing combination will enhance the image and contribute enormous personality to your room’s décor. Trust the experts! Whether it’s formal, whimsical, classic, or funky, you can create the style that is all yours. Tina Ferguson of Neblett’s shows us how. Y
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20 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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➺healthy living by C. ROCHELLE CULP
Inspiring Everyday Exercise
Moms Who Keep It Creative ay is a special month because of Mother’s Day. The question was recently asked on NBC’s The Today Show,“What job has no pay, you work 24 hours a day, no vacation, and no time off”. Of course, the NBC
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anchors were mystified by the question but the answer brought a warm sigh from all—“a mother”. There is nothing like a mother. Mothers do it all. In our fast-paced society the days of June Cleaver, Carol Brady, and Florida Evans are no longer. However, a mother’s care never changes. Because mothers do so much and have to be time conscious, one of the easiest things to do is to scratch exercise and healthy eating off the to-do list. This month some amazing women (including the First Lady of Mississippi) ranging in age from their 20s to 70s give advice on how to balance it all. These ladies are not giving up on staying healthy. Hopefully you will be inspired to start a healthy living plan for you and your family or continue the efforts you have in place.
Workout Sisters by Lauren Kirschberg As a child my exercise routine consisted of the occasional clover picking in left field and striking out at kickball. It was not until high school that my best friend talked me into going for a run with her. When my sister (Mary Colley) and I lived together in college, our roommate introduced us to kickboxing at the rec center. During medical school, I would meet my mom after class for body pump. For me working out has always been about the best of friends motivating and encouraging each other. When I moved to Jackson my sister invited me to her gym where they not only have a great group exercise program, but also an amazing nursery for our children, and a wonderful chaplain. Having my sister there motivates me and keeps me accountable. Our schedules are very different, but we make an effort to pick an hour during the day when we can spend time together and stay healthy together for ourselves and for our families. We work out to feel strong and energetic so we can keep up with our young children. We work out to challenge our fitness level, to help us lower stress, and to quiet our busy minds. We work out to have a better mindset for the day and so that it is easier to be patient and kind during those teachable moments with our children in the evening. Exercising is our time to focus on our selves, be inspired by other healthy, dedicated women, and stay fit and strong for our families. Sometimes when I am working out and I feel like giving up, I remind myself to have a thankful heart that God has given me an able
22 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
L to R: Mary Colley, Judson Colley, Will White, Marilyn Colley, and Lauren Kirschberg
body. And as long as I am able, I am going to take care of it. I am going to keep pushing so I can release those good endorphins that will improve my heart attitude for the rest of the day and help me be a better mother. For now, my body will do what my mind tells it as long as I put my heart in it. And putting my heart in it is so much easier with my sister by my side.
First Lady of Mississippi by Deborah Bryant When I speak to children at schools I always ask, “Who likes to exercise?” And every hand in the room goes up in the air. I love seeing their enthusiasm and encourage them to stay active. Do you remember when it was “fun” to exercise? When you couldn’t wait for recess time so you could run around with your friends on the playground? I wish I still had that much energy. I still enjoy being active with my friends. I love participating in 5K walks. The miles fly by when I am walking and talking. It also gives me extra motivation when I am walking for a good cause like breast cancer awareness and the Mustard Seed. Sometimes the Governor joins me at these events. (He runs. I walk.) We both take pleasure in knowing we did something good for others as well as ourselves. On that note, I would like to invite you to join us for the Governor’s Run on Saturday, June 21. This event benefits Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital, a place very dear to both our hearts. We would love to make this a huge success. Please be on the lookout for more details in the upcoming weeks. When you are able to combine exercise and giving into one effort, your heart gets the best kind of workout. I wish you all health and happiness.
Chasing My Mom by Sharon P. Douglas, MD About four years ago, my sister encouraged me to join her in getting fit. I was about to turn 50 and felt this was a good idea. We joined Marathon Makeover, an organization which helps turn couch potatoes into marathoners. Our mother (Pat) decided to join us. She was 68 at the time. Mom had been a walker, walking regularly with members of her Sunday school class for years; however, she began running for the first time in her life at 68 years old. I figured if my mom could do it, I could do it. She sparked my passion and interest in running and so I began “chasing my mother.” Mom has always been a great role model to her children and grandchildren in her Christian faith by doing the right thing, practicing what she preaches, and being disciplined. To date, Mom has run three marathons (each run 26.2 mile distance) and six half-marathons (each run 13.1 mile distance). I have run two marathons and one half-marathon and have yet to beat mom’s time in any run. It is amazing to look back now and think that we started one step at a time. Mom and I can say that running is rewarding in many ways. Exercise is not only good for health but is a great release. Meeting other runners is fun. We share exercise as a hobby. We encourage anyone that it is never too late to start exercising. After all, at 54 I am still chasing my 72-year-old mother. Y At the finish line of the Chicago Marathon. C. Rochelle Culp is the owner of Ro-on-the Go Health & Wellness Consultants and on staff at Fitness Lady Health Clubs, Inc. She is a member of the Today Show’s Joy Fit Club and featured in The Joy Fit Club Cookbook, Diet Plan and Inspiration (published 2012).
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Alison and Jody with Callie Grace, 10; Carson, 8; Caroline, 21 months; and Caty, 7.
Alison & Jody Schmelzer
A Journey of 24 MAY 2014 â?˜ Mississippi Christian Living
Caroline Faith Schmelzer strains every muscle for
Faith
all it’s worth and pushes her little legs as fast as they can go. She is absolutely determined to keep up with her older siblings, oblivious to the fact that they are much older than she is and maybe a little more able or something. She is also oblivious to the fact that she does not look like them. Maybe she doesn’t notice because they do not seem to notice either. It does not matter. On this sunny afternoon, she runs fearlessly across the expanse of green grass in pursuit of her big sisters and brother. They turn around to let her catch up and then she is scooped up and passed back and forth like a favorite baby doll. She squeals in delight and flashes her biggest smile. There is no coincidence that Caroline’s birth mother named her Lete Hiwot, which translates as “girl of life.” She is indeed that. I think that it translates as “live wire.” Almost two years old, she was born on July 28, 2012, in Ethiopia. Her mother died of HIV soon after. Her father was also very ill. An aunt tried to care for the baby, but eventually had to take her to an orphanage. Although she has only lived in the United States for six months, in the minds and hearts of her parents, Jody and Allison Schmelzer, Caroline Faith has been theirs for years. It was May 3, 2010, when they submitted their application to adopt. They were as certain of their decision as they had ever been about anything in their lives. Their agency assured them they would have a baby within a year. They announced to their friends and family that they had taken this step. They had done their due diligence in being certain God was calling them to this. So, the preparations began. And so did the agonizing delays, detours, and bumps in the road. Who could have guessed then that 32 months would pass before the baby girl they longed for, prayed for, and planned for would become a full-fledged member of their family? It is humbling and awe-inspiring that baby Caroline Faith had not even been created at the time they chose her name and began to pray for her arrival in their home. What an image of Psalm 139 and the truth of verse 16, “…your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” By the time they stepped off the plane in Jackson with Caroline in their arms in September 2013, Jody and Alison knew with crystal clarity that the journey traveled those long months was about so much more than adopting their baby.
MSChristianliving.com ❘ MAY 2014 25
26 MAY 2014 â?˜ Mississippi Christian Living
As Alison says, “It kind of turned into something else. It turned into a journey of waiting and waiting on the Lord. We began to see—we weren’t just waiting on our daughter, we were waiting on the Lord. We look back and know that God needed to grow some things in us. It was faith-building time like nothing we have ever been through.” They learned to trust God, seek Him, and surrender to His will, His timing, His plans in a way they could probably never have done had everything gone smoothly. There had already been a deep commitment in both their lives to serve God, but like a marriage that grows closer and deeper with time, their personal relationships with God grew in new ways because the path they walked was so very opposite of the path they were expecting to walk on the way to adopting this baby girl.
How It Began
The journey actually began a few months before that day in May when the ink on the myriad of papers was dry and the application in the mail. Six months earlier, God began to stir Alison’s heart in a most uncomfortable way, but it was not the first time God had rattled her comfort zone. She told Jody that she just had this “spiritual discontentment” as if God had more in mind for them than what they were doing. She had no idea what it would be but she felt like God was about to ask them to do something that would be quite out of the box and they should be ready for it. Jody had already left a comfortable career to enter the ministry. They knew when they jointly made that decision they were making lots of other decisions along with that big one, not the least of which involved income and standard of living. They had taken that big leap of faith as a young couple with three very small children, and they had never regretted it. God had been oh so faithful in every way. Since Jody discovered a personal relationship with Jesus Christ during college, his goals and focus and priorities had always been about serving Christ and making sure that everyone he knew had that same opportunity to experience a personal relationship with that same Savior. It seems like they had already “passed the test” of putting God first. What else was there? They had three children within four years. Alison worked part time as a pre-school teacher. Jody had taken the position of associate pastor at Pinelake’s Madison campus and was also finishing up his seminary studies. Life was very busy at the Schmelzer home. Every day when Callie Grace, Carson, and Caty went down for naps, Alison relished the quiet and enjoyed catching up with her friends through social media and a number of blogs that some of her old college friends had started. Sometimes she would click on a thread that took her to blogs of other moms her age, girls she did not know. She vicariously began to follow a family from Nashville who had adopted a child from Ethiopia. The videos of their little girl blending in so beautifully with their four biological children touched Alison. She laughs that she had never “stalked” someone she did not know, but she kept coming back to their page and simply fell in love with this family. She followed them almost
MSChristianliving.com ❘ MAY 2014 27
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daily! Her thoughts were, “I am so glad that family adopted that precious little girl. I could never do that, but I am so glad they did.” And then one day she got that impossible-to-ignore sense that God was speaking straight to her heart. “This is it. This is what I want you and Jody to do.” She knew in the way that one knows God is behind a thought. She knew because God had moved her heart in other situations, and it was never without a battle between her will and His. This time would be no different. Alison’s initial response was, “No. That is too hard.” But God was not going to stop. She sat at the computer and literally cried. There were countless reasons to not want to do this. Back in their dating days when things turned serious and they had talked about their future, Jody and Alison had always planned to have three children and then to adopt a little girl from China. They had talked about it a lot in the beginning, but then, as Jody says, “Life happened.” They never mentioned that baby from China anymore because life was just so full and so busy and just so the way life is for a young couple with little children, a mortgage, and everything else. Jody says, “We were maxed out at that point.” The thought of a baby girl from Ethiopia scared Alison to death. She argued with God telling Him exactly why that just would not ever work. She won’t look like us. People will stare. Nobody will accept her. Jody will never go along with this idea. And God, we can’t afford it. What about that part? Hey, God—can we go back to talking about the little girl from China? Or even Russia? But not Ethiopia. But there was no peace anywhere until the day she surrendered to the idea. She said, basically, “Okay, God. If this is what you are calling us to do, then you work it out.” Alison had not mentioned any of this to Jody. How could she? Their decision to enter fulltime ministry in the throes of three little stair-step children had put them in the category of “survival mode.” The very last thing they needed was another financial obligation. But the more she went back to the videos of the family who had the little girl from Ethiopia, the more comfortable she became with the idea. The more comfortable she became, the more she began to really want this child, the child who did not look like them, the child who might invite stares, the child she had never thought she could love the same way she would love a child who DID look like her own. All of those thoughts slowly vanished. She just had no idea how God was going to work this out, but she knew only that He would if He really was calling them to do this hard thing. She put off mentioning it to Jody for three months, and then there was the day in March 2010, when she knew this had to be the day. Before this day—March 17— was over she was going to approach Jody about adopting a baby girl from Ethiopia. He was headed to bed that night when she said, “Wait. I have to talk to you about something.”
So Alison spilled it out between sobs. It was a huge relief to finally tell her husband how God had grown this idea in her heart over the past few months. She showed him the video of the family in Nashville. He thought they were as incredible as Alison thought they were. He also thought as Alison had thought initially, “That is so wonderful that God called them to do that, but I don’t think this is for us. This would be just too difficult for the season of life we are living.” He did appreciate Alison’s heart, so he agreed to pray about it. Prayer was a big priority in the Schmelzer household. “I’ll pray for you,” wasn’t a nicety—it was a sure thing. Alison’s promise was to submit to whatever Jody decided. “If you come back and you don’t feel it, we’ll walk away. Just promise me you will pray, and I knew he would,” she says.
Alison and Jody agreed that they would not discuss this idea with anyone—not their parents, not their children, not their friends—nobody. This would be between them and God. If He wanted them to do this, then He had to make it very clear. Over the next six weeks, Alison says, “It was almost comical.” God more than showed up. After living more than 30 years in Mississippi and never once meeting an Ethiopian or really even hearing the word, ‘Ethiopia,’ everything changed. It was like Ethiopia was a daily encounter. A friend casually mentioned to Alison on the phone one day that a mutual college friend was about to adopt a little boy from Ethiopia. Chance conversation in passing, but this time when Alison heard the “word”—she noticed. Alison even pulled into a parking space on Sunday morning and hit someone’s car. She left a note on their windshield apologizing, asking them to call her and let her pay for the repairs, and in the meantime kept wondering how in the world she could have done something like that. There was no explanation for her carelessness. Until she found out the family whose van she hit were missionaries to Ethiopia who happened to be visiting Pinelake that Sunday. They were also adoptive parents of a little boy from Ethiopia. Connecting with that family led them to other families in Madison they had never run into anywhere who had adopted children from Ethiopia. During that same time, Alison was doing some volunteer work at the Perkins Center in West Jackson. One afternoon, a group of volunteers from Piney Woods pulled up in a bus—they were so polite and so helpful. Someone mentioned they were all students from Ethiopia. One of the girls volunteering with Alison commented on the well-behaved group of Piney Woods kids and said, “We are thinking
about adopting a child from Ethiopia.” Ethiopians were suddenly everywhere—every day. There was no getting away from the word “Ethiopia.” Yes, Lord. I think we get it. Jody’s prayers for confirmation were answered, too. His daily Bible readings, no matter what devotional guide he used, seemed to lead him to scriptures about the “orphans,” the “helpless.” His heart was changing. He can only explain it as God. He was so sure of God’s call that he now wanted this unknown baby girl as much as Alison did. Surrender was just the first step. And so the application went into the mail. The next step was in God’s hands, but He was not in a hurry. “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends; With the Lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day,” reads 2 Peter 3:8. The Schmelzer’s developed a new understanding of those words! Alison decided early on to document every leg of the journey in the process of adopting Caroline Faith. She kept a journal as well as a photo album with pictures of every milestone. Mailing the application made the whole thing, for them, a done deal. By this time their three children—ages three, four, and five—were eagerly anticipating the arrival of their new baby sister. It was very much a family affair. As they eagerly shared their news with friends and family, they intentionally chose to remember their own reactions to the initial idea and extended understanding to anyone whose reactions were shock or disapproval. However, many shared their joy. They were suddenly welcomed into a huge community of other families who had adopted transracially. There was also a huge outpouring from people who said, “We don’t think God is calling us to what you are doing, but we want to help you finance this undertaking.” And checks began to arrive from
MSChristianliving.com ❘ MAY 2014 29
people they did not even know. How like God! One of their original misgivings involved the financial cost. How would a young pastor’s family be able to come up with the kind of money adoption would take? The figures that had been quoted to them were staggering. At some point in their deliberation, God impressed on both of them the fact of His sufficiency. Even so, it has been in the category of the promise in Ephesians 3:20—beyond all they could ask or imagine. Alison’s detailed spreadsheets tell the story. Every time they spent something she wrote it down. Every time someone gave them something she put it on the spreadsheet. The numbers are almost exactly equal although the gifts total slightly more than the expenses. They agree that they would tell anyone considering adoption that fear of financial cost should never be a factor in saying, “No.” In the beginning, they were patient. God had so confirmed to them that this was the journey they were to take and to trust Him with every detail. They were watching the calendar and anticipating the day when the phone would ring and they would hear the news that their baby was waiting for them. And then those certain six to nine months began to drag into endless months of delay. A year passed. Then a second year passed.
Learning to Wait
Early in the process, they were assigned a number on the waiting list. In 2010, they were number 93. Every time a child was referred to a family, the Schmelzer’s moved up a notch. The list was updated periodically. They began to notice with each report, the amount of time it took from one referral to the next started to get a lot longer. In March 2011, things seemed to hit a wall. There had been some governmental issues and some corruption issues—not with their adoption agency, but there had been other nefarious groups who had soured the process and caused adoptions to almost stop. Alison was devastated when she got the news from the State Department that Ethiopia was about to decrease their adoptions by 90 percent and that they should be prepared to wait five to seven years to complete the process. There was a chance that the country would shut down all adoptions. Nobody knew at that point what was going to happen. Should they just opt out? Alison calls it “heart wrenching,” but they decided to take 24 hours to fast and pray. Both came away agreeing that God had told them to stay the course. “We’ll wait it out. If that’s where our baby is, then we’re going to wait for her,” Jody said. At the start of their journey, Hebrews 11:1 was the verse Alison and Jody had claimed as a constant reminder of God’s calling them to adopt the child He would choose for them. “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” They were now living that out every day as there were months when all the news was bad. It looked like there would be few, if any Ethiopian babies coming home with Americans. Jody says that once they decided to wait it out, “We clung to Philippians 1:6 where the Word says, ‘I’m confident that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.’ We knew He had called us to this. We knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that He had confirmed it in a million ways. And so we continued to believe He was going to complete it.” But when? The thought occurred to them that their three children could be almost grown before this new baby arrived. Were they still committed to the adoption? Oh, yes.
Worth the Wait
On May 22, 2013, the Schmelzer’s received what Alison calls “another downer message” about the wait. They had moved up to the top of the list finally, but there was no guarantee that they would receive a call—ever. The next day they left on a family vacation. For the first time in a long time, Alison put her phone in her purse and resolved not to sit and stare at it waiting for the call they so longed to get. The family was in Fairhope eating at one of their favorite lunch spots that day, and the call she had waited on for 32 months came. She did not hear the ring. Jody, however, had put his phone on the table and when it rang, they saw the caller ID was the same area code as their adoption agency in Portland, Oregon. He took the call and the well-behaved Schmelzer family created a scene right there in the middle of Panini Pete’s. Their baby girl was waiting for them. She was going to be theirs—just like God had promised. They rushed to their hotel to set up their computer and get their baby’s picture and hear her story. There is no Christmas morning in anybody’s memory that could compare with the Schmelzer excitement that afternoon. Getting Caroline Faith Schmelzer had been every bit as painful and anxiety-ridden as going through pregnancy and childbirth could possibly be, and the result was the very same as when that new baby is placed in your arms the first time. Who wouldn’t do it all over again because your precious baby is so worth it all! Adoption rules required that Alison and Jody make two trips to Ethiopia. The first to confirm that this was indeed their child—the one they wanted to be in their family—and then a second trip weeks later to complete the paperwork for her Visa and bring her home. It was September 7, 2013, when Miss Caroline Faith, in the arms of her parents, after a 30-hour flight, was greeted at the Jackson airport by a MOB of friends, family, and—okay—fans. What a homecoming and what a welcome. For Alison and Jody, the joy was overwhelming. As they sat in their den alone the next afternoon, all the family and well-wishers gone, they looked at each other and said, “What if we had said no? What would we have missed?” Alison says people ask her how she feels six months later? After all, the honeymoon is over and this baby girl is 24/7 in her life. Is she still sure this was the right thing for their family? She says, “I just feel full. My heart feels so full. When you see God’s hand of faithfulness on you and you watch him demonstrate his faithfulness in ways that blow your mind, you can’t help but just be in awe. I pray that every time we look at Caroline Faith, we will continue to be reminded of that—that God is so very faithful.” Jody, with a huge smile on his contented face, says, “This journey was about God. It was his calling, his faithfulness, and his glory. It was about so much more than adoption.” And life just doesn’t get any better than that. Y Follow the Schmelzer’s at Lovin’much.blogspot.com
30 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Congratulations to our Jackson-area alumni 2014 National Merit Semifinalists, FPDS Class of 2008
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➺food for thought
“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of Him that sent me, and to finish His work.”
by LYDIA BOLEN
– John 4:34
SWEETS FOR MOM M
other’s Day is an annual holiday celebrated on the second Sunday in May. To honor your Mom, sweeten up her
day with delicious desserts. Go for something a little different this year. Make an easy version of a Sour Cream Coconut Cake. It is best made days in advance for flavor. Mom might also enjoy having a good coffee cake with her breakfast that weekend. One of my new favorites is Raspberry Almond.You can bake this in a 9-inch round or square pan. Even try putting it in a small,
RASPBERRY ALMOND COFFEE CAKE Cake: 3/4 1/2 1 1/2 1 1 1/4 3/4 1/2 2 1/2 1 1/4 Glaze:
cup milk cup butter, melted teaspoon vanilla teaspoon almond extract egg cups All-Purpose flour cup whole-wheat flour cup sugar teaspoons baking powder teaspoon salt cup fresh raspberries cup sliced almonds
1 /2 1 3 to 4 1 /4
cup powdered sugar tablespoon butter, softened teaspoons milk teaspoon almond extract
Heat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9inch round or square pan with Baker’s Joy. (Sometimes I like to use the 6-inch heart shaped pan for special occasions. Just cut back on the amount of cake mixture) In medium bowl, beat 3/4 cup milk, 1/2 cup melted butter, vanilla, 1/2 teaspoon almond extract and egg with a wire whisk until blended. Stir in flours, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Gently fold in raspberries. Spread in pan. Sprinkle almonds over the batter. Bake 30 to 35 minutes, until top is light golden brown. Cool 10 minutes. Mix glaze ingredients. Drizzle over warm cake. Serves 8. 32 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
6-inch, heart-shaped cake pan for fun. Just cut the amount of batter back for this size. Mom will certainly love the extra effort of this cake shaped like a heart!! Old Fashioned lemon squares will hit the spot with Mom and her guests. Pass the lemon squares on a doily-lined plate. Decorate the plate with small blooming flowers from your yard. Happy Mother’s Day to all Moms! Y
LEMON SQUARES Bottom Layer Crust:
SOUR CREAM COCONUT CAKE
1/2 cup butter, melted 1/4 cup sugar 1 cup flour Blend and press firmly into a 9-by-9 inch greased aluminum pan. Bake the crust at 350 degrees for 15 to 20 minutes.
Top Layer: 2 1 3 2 1/2
eggs cup sugar tablespoons lemon juice tablespoons flour teaspoon baking powder
Beat the top layer of ingredients together and pour mixture over the hot crust layer. Cook another 20 minutes at 350 degrees. Remove and add powdered sugar on top of warm lemon squares. Cool in the pan. Cut into desired size of squares while in the pan. (Cut into bite size pieces to yield 64 squares. Larger size would yield about 36) Remove from pan after completely cooled.
2 cups sour cream 2 cups sugar 2 packages (12-ounce) grated coconut (save about 4 ounces for the top) 1 Yellow Butter Cake Mix (2-layer) Mix the sour cream, sugar, and coconut in a bowl. Chill, covered, for 8 to 12 hours. Bake the cake mix using the package directions for a 2-layer cake. Cool in pans for 10 minutes. Invert on wire cooling rack to cool completely. Chill the cake layers or put in freezer for 10 minutes. Split each cooled cake layer horizontally into halves. Spread the sour cream mixture between the layers and over the top and side of the cake. Top with the remaining coconut. Chill, covered, up to 4 days before serving. Serves 12. Y
Remember to make memories through the kitchen— “the heartbeat of the home.” E-mail me at lbbolen@gmail.com for any questions.
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MSChristianliving.com ❘ MAY 2014 33
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Eas y! L
Noonday Collection Moms to Moms
et me introduce you to Embemebet, a 26-year-old Ethiopian mother with HIV. She moved to the Entoto Mountains because of the belief that there was healing water to cure HIV. Her husband
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died of HIV. After moving to the mountains, she met her current husband who had also come for healing. She has been working for 6 years making jewelry out of beads made from artillery shells gathered by local farmers. Remnants of former weapons of conflict are now upcycled pieces of redemption. She has a son,Yabsera, and she now has new dreams for her son because she has been able to get medications to treat HIV. Noonday Collection purchases jewelry from this group of women in Ethiopia, along with artisans in 14 other countries! Jessica Honegger, who was doing a fundraiser toward the adoption of her son from Rwanda, founded Noonday Collection in 2011. Her vision has taken off like wildfire over the last three years. Today there are more than 400 Noonday Ambassadors who take the Noonday story and samples into home shows or special events. Out efforts help provide sustainable income for these mothers we represent. This is their pathway out of poverty. The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 2:10 that “we are therefore Christ’s ambassadors…”We were put on earth to be Ambassadors for Christ so that those we come in contact with can see His love and receive the gospel! Being a Noonday Ambassador enables me to help live a life that is making a difference for the Kingdom of God. The name Noonday was taken from Isaiah 58:10, “When you satisfy the needs of the oppressed, your night will shine like the noonday.” Noonday Collection is making it possible for many orphans to find forever homes through giving 10 percent of sales towards adoption trunk shows. Noonday is also making it possible for mothers like Embemebet to keep their children and not be forced to leave them in an orphanage because she can’t feed them. There are many orphans all over the world awaiting the perfect family to take them in and love them as if they had been born into the family. Noonday has compassion for the
orphans and is helping many to be adopted through their donations from trunk sales toward adoptions. Noonday offers jobs and even sometimes special training to teach those in need of income a skill. Each artisan is paid up front and much more, up to six times more, than they would make if selling in a local market in their country. So with each purchase, Noonday Collection is using fashion and design to help change the world while looking stylish along the way!! I decided to join Noonday last May because I wanted to help share their story that is truly making a global impact. At first, I was hesitant about being an Ambassador because I am not gifted in the “sales department” and I do not like to speak to a group of people. But because I absolutely fell in love with Noonday Collection and its mission, I felt God wanted me to step outside my comfort zone and be a part of it. I have had a heart for missions my whole life, and this is a perfect fit for me. It is not about the sales, but about sharing the stories of women with other women in hopes their hearts will be moved to use their purchasing power to change the world! Y You can visit my website, www.mistylacey.noondaycollection.com. You may order an item, host a trunk show, or even feel led to becoming an Ambassador. If you want to look stylish, yet feel good about purchasing a new necklace or scarf for example, then shop Noonday Collection.Your purchase is making an impact in the lives of real people—mothers just like you!
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➺fresh finds
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36 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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➺christian commerce by DAN HALL, with ELIZABETH BRASSARD and HAZEL HALL
Caring Transitions: Family Taking Care of Family Mississippi Christian Living: Why did you start Caring Transitions? Caring Transitions: The answer is longer than you have space, but at the core is our own experience with aging parents. Caring Transitions: Several years ago my parents downsized—or “right-sized” we like to say—from the home in which they raised us four young‘uns into a much smaller home. While the transition created a better quality of life, it almost didn’t happen because the task was just overwhelming: calling and meeting with realtors, sorting their belongings, cleaning the home, getting an estate sale company, preparing for the estate sale, discarding all their unneeded or unwanted belongings either to charities or disposal, calling movers, packing the house, and finally resettling them into their new home in way that made it feel as much like the home they left. I know of many who have not made such a move simply either because as the
It Takes One to Know One—and Understand
homeowners, they couldn’t fathom doing all that work, or because adult children with aging parents did not have the margin and time to do so. MCL: So how would Caring Transitions assist in a similar situation? CT: We can manage the whole project, or any specific aspects preferred by our clients. We seek to reduce the level of stress that accompanies such life-transition by being a one-stop shop. We can carry the task from organizing and sorting to resettling the client so that the first time they walk into their new home it looks significantly similar as the one they left—living area set up like the old one, silverware in draws similarly situated, pictures hung similarly, etc. We would love them to walk into their new home with as much familiarity as possible! MCL: Do you help them into aging communities as well? CT: Oh yes. We have relationships with several independent living, assisted living, and other age-related communities in metro Jackson. We have some great communities here. MCL: Do I understand right that you provide these services for other life transitions as well? CT: Absolutely. Many times, the person who makes the call is the adult child of a recently deceased parent who needs help with all our services to liquidate an estate. We get calls from attorneys when they have clients walking through a divorce and need their largest asset liquidated, but the process is too daunting and personal. Sometimes the situation is as simple as someone at a place in their lives where they want to simplify and need help. MCL: You have “CRTS” after your name. What is that? CT: It stands for “Certified Relocation and Transition Specialist.” We take seriously the trust our clients put in us. We often see people working in this field that have not been trained or certified to do this work. Not only do we secure appropriate certification, but we are bonded and insured, unlike many estate companies or transition services.
38 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Elizabeth Brassard, Dan Hall, Hazel Hall
MCL: You are working together as family. How’s that dynamic? CT: We love it! Haze and I have been married for almost 27 years, and have six children and two grandchildren. Elizabeth is actually the General Manager/Vice President and Haze serves as Chief Operations Officer. Another of our daughters, Rebekah, has been helping Elizabeth on many projects. We not only enjoy working together, but the mutual respect for each other’s strengths and talents adds tremendously to our work atmosphere and productivity. Not many people have the privilege of working with family in a fun, healthy environment. We are quite fortunate! MCL: I like your moniker:“Where family, heritage and hearts still matter.” Tell me about that. CT: Each word means something to us. We deeply value family and are all standing on shoulders represented by heritage. When we help our clients, we are entrusted with many emotions, memories, and values—the cumulative experiences imbedded in their hearts. We take that privilege seriously and value those aspects of life with our clients. MCL: Is there anything else you would like to add? CT: Just that we would love to serve your readers when that needs arises! MCL: Thank you for sharing with us! CT: Thank you, Marilyn, for allowing us!
Y For more information, please contact Elizabeth Brassard at ebrassard@CaringTransitions.net or 601.714.1408. Visit our website at www.CaringTransitionsJacksonMetro.com
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➺
legal advice Don’t Procrastinate—Plan Today ebster’s dictionary defines procrastination as “the act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off to a future time; delay; dilatoriness”.
W
When dealing with legal matters, procrastination is probably the number one reason that families do not have a complete or up-to-date estate plan. In fact, one of the most important areas to consider in estate planning is not what will happen when you die, but rather what will happen if you become incapacitated because of an illness, stroke, dementia, or other chronic, debilitating disease. Obviously this will be extremely painful for your loved ones. But you should certainly make every effort to relieve or decrease the confusion they will face. It will only take a little planning—while you are able—to make sure YOUR wishes are carried out, and not left to chance. There are differences of opinions among Estate Planning Attorneys on which vehicle should be used to ensure the least amount of complication, expense, and delay. But one thing we can all agree on is the need for an Advance Health Care Directive (AHCD) with HIPAA authorizations. The Mississippi AHCD includes enhanced living will provisions and a statutory health care power of attorney. The AHCD allows you to appoint someone to make health care decisions for you, but only according to your wishes. It includes your chosen directions about your health care, pain relief preferences, and your wishes regarding end of life treatment, including cardiac resuscitation, mechanical respiration, and artificial nutrition and hydration. We’ve all heard horror stories of individuals being kept on life support longer than desired or family members fighting over whether to let someone go. In today’s litigious society, it’s more important than ever that you put in place an AHCD to provide comprehensive
by ELIZABETH WYNN
guidance to your loved ones regarding your care. You can get a free AHCD form at hospitals and online. However, the ACHD is not complete without separate HIPAA authorizations. HIPAA is the federal Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996.You have probably encountered HIPAA at a doctor s office.You must sign a waiver so the doctor can tell your insurance company what procedures were performed, and receive payment for those services. However, an unintended effect of HIPAA is that it makes your medical information completely private, even from your spouse, adult children or other immediate family members. Unless the health care provider has a specific consent form, they are legally unable to discuss the details of your medical condition with the people who care about you the most. A HIPAA authorization will allow the people you have chosen to speak to your health care providers about your condition when you cannot speak for yourself. We give dual HIPAA authorizations in every AHCD we prepare, because we want to make sure your directive will work for you when you need it. Make it easier on your love ones. Do what you can now to ease the confusion and difficult decisions that may have to be made for you some day. If you do not make these decisions now, your family will be forced to obtain the power through an expensive and time-consuming court process. Maybe we all should take heed in what the English poet, Edward Young (1683-1765) meant when he said, “Procrastination is the thief of time”. Y Elizabeth Wynn is a member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys and practices law in Ridgeland. She and her family live in Madison.
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If I gave everything I have to the poor & even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. – 1 Corinthians 13:3
real love.
real acceptance.
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42 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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rave reviews BOOK Spoken For
Reviewed by Susan E. Richardson
Authors Robin Jones Gunn and Alyssa Joy Bethke have a message for all Christian women who feel betrayed, abandoned, or alone: God says you are His. You are Spoken For. As the subtitle clarifies, they want to help you embrace “who you are and Whose you are.” If the idea of being spoken for sounds more suited to a romance, then you’re on the right track. The world and those around us may offer pain and false relationships or just human imperfection, but God pursues us and calls us His Bride. The authors see Him as a Lover who woos us to Himself. Through the book, Gunn and Bethke address some of the lies women may believe because of past pain. They respond with positive “you are” statements based on Scripture, sharing personal stories of when life wounded them and how God used the circumstances to bring them closer to Him. Each chapter ends with thought questions, helping the reader interact further with the material. Readers may recognize Robin Jones Gunn’s name from her fiction as well as her more recent non-fiction titles. She brings her usual warmth and gentleness to the book, while Alyssa Bethke adds a younger perspective. The two blend their voices beautifully to create a comforting yet thought-provoking read. Both authors work with young women, but women of all ages will find reassurance and encouragement from Spoken For. The book would be a good Mother’s Day gift or a high school graduation gift. Y Susan E. Richardson is a writer, critique reader, and former Christian retailer with a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word.You can reach her through her website www.nextlevelcritiques.com.
Heartstrings: A Story of Prayer, Ta-Dah Moments and a Miracle by Amy Taylor Ta-Dah moments. There are so many of them in this short book chronicling the intense up and down journey of one very regular wife, mother, devoted grandmother, special education teacher, and friend of many, who is a heart transplant recipient. She did not fit the profile for someone to be diagnosed with cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure at the age of 48. Her personal story is beautifully told by her close friend, tennis partner, and fellow MSU Bulldog lover, who walked beside her during the uncertain days and who, like thousands of others found themselves inspired by Beth’s courage, strength, and faith. This is a touching and inspiring personal account that incorporates the power of prayer, the tremendous sufficiency of God’s grace, and the multi-layered impact that love and relationships have in all of our human interactions. And it also reminds me of what one of my spiritual mentors said to me during a health crisis. “God does not look at the chart.” One never knows in the middle of a crisis just how God intends to use it for “good” according to Romans 8:28. This is one of those stories, and it is real. I recommend this read for anyone who faces overwhelming circumstances or an uphill battle. Beth and author, Amy, will be signing books in Starkville, Louisville, Kosciusko, and Winona in May-June. Visit their Heartstrings Facebook page (Heartstrings: A Story of Prayer, Ta-Dah Moments and a Miracle) for more info. Y MSChristianliving.com ❘ MAY 2014 43
➺what’s going on Magnolia Meltdown The 2014 Magnolia Meltdown, sponsored by St. Dominic’s and The Club, returns on May 10. Featuring a 10K run, 5K Walk and a Kids’ 1Mile Fun Run, this is an event the entire family can enjoy. The race begins and ends at the The Club at the Township and winds through parts of Ridgeland and down the Natchez Trace Parkway. You can register online at magnoliameltdown.racesonline.com by May 8 and receive a discount on your registration fee. The field is limited to 1000 participants—so get going! Race day registration begins at 6:00 a.m. with the 10K run beginning at 7:00 a.m. followed at five-minute intervals by the start of the 5K and the Fun Run. Proceeds from the Meltdown benefit St. Dominic’s Community Health Clinic, a free clinic on West Capitol that serves a population with few resources and enormous needs. For 16 years, the small staff has brought quality healthcare and health and preventive education to people who lack the most essential taken-for-granted provisions most of us enjoy. Through Christlike compassion, commitment to God, and to excellence in everything, the Dominican sisters have established a vital ministry in a very large, underserved section of the capital city. The investment of others— whether in time or money—is evident. Primary healthcare services include routine screenings, employment physicals, eye exams, nutrition counseling, assistance with prescriptions, special equipment,
treatment of acute illnesses, and referrals when a diagnosis requires a specialty. There are generous physicians who donate their time and skill. Fundraising is a constant in maintaining the high quality of care. The Magnolia Meltdown hopes to raise $10,000 this year. Sign up. It’s about your good health and the health of someone else!
TIM HAWKINS LIVE with Bob Smiley
Dr. Charles McMasters,
Comedian Tim Hawkins has been forging the blend between two comedic ideas: A genuinely funny comedy show and an event that caters to the entire family. With over 100 million views on YouTube and 120+ shows every year, Tim has started a gut-busting grassroots revolution of multigenerational proportions. This will be an event enjoyed by all ages. Enjoy this night of fun at Broadmoor Baptist Church at 1531 Highland Colony Parkway in Madison on Friday, June 6 at 7:00 p.m. For tickets, you can charge by phone by calling 1.888.780.1116 or order online at www.timhawkins.net. General Admission tickets are $22 in advance ($20 advance group rate of 6 or more people) or $25 at the door. Premium tickets are $32 in advance ($30 advance group rate of 6 or more people) or $35 at the door. VIP Reserved tickets are $42 ($40 group rate of 10 or more people) and available in advance only. Y
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Call for an appointment today 601-992-1010 • www.dogwoodvisioncare.com 44 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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events calendar May 2 St. Richard Catholic Church of Jackson holds its 4th Annual Chatham Art Showcase from 6–9 p.m. in Foley Hall of the Parish Center at 1242 Lynwood Drive. With works by an exclusive group of fine artists and contemporary craftspeople, the exhibit includes a variety of mediums for viewing and purchase. Musical entertainment and light refreshments. Visit www.saintrichard.com for more details.
May 3 The Mississippi Chorus present Mozart’s Requiem at Wesley Biblical Seminary. 7:30 p.m. Details at www.mschorus.org.
funds for security officer Joseph Chatman who was recently diagnosed with cancer. Activities begin at 6 p.m. at Raider Park on JA’s East Campus. Register and get details at www.jacksonacademy.org. $10 entry and $100 cap per family.
BRANDON May 7 Little Light House Tees for Tots at the Castlewoods Country Club. Registration at 11 a.m. Tee Time is 12:15 p.m. Three person scramble. Contact 601.956.6131 for details.
May 13 The Metro Jackson American Heart Association’s Go Red For Women luncheon at the Jackson Convention Complex includes health screenings, exhibits, lunch, testimonials, and a fashion show. Activities begin at 10 a.m. Tickets are $100 payable in advance. 601.321.1209 or metrojacksongored.heart.org for details.
GREENWOOD May 2-3 Que on the Yazoo. A fundraising project of Main Street Greenwood, this is a weekend of Barbeque, live music and Delta charm. See www.mainstreetgreenwood.com.
May 15 iMinistry MS 2014 Conference will be held at Duling Hall 8:30 a.m.–5 p.m. Speakers include Jason Caston from T.D. Jakes Ministries and CEO Brad McMullan from bfac.com. Learn how to grow your ministry online. The Mississippi Children’s Museum (MCM) hosts Who Dat Day: Spring Training with Pierre Thomas and the New Orleans Saints from 11 a.m.–4 p.m. MCM is partnering with Pierre Thomas’ iCAN Foundation and the New Orleans Saints for a day of drills and athletic field day activities www.mississippichildrensmuseum.com
May 31–June 4 Grace Baptist Church at 5536 Ridgewood Road hosts an evening Vacation Bible School for children who have completed kindergarten through sixth grade. Register online at www.graceJackson.net or call 601.573.1072 for more info.
May 9 St. Dominic’s New Directions for over 55 presents Dr. Richard Guynes of Jackson Heart Clinic who shares his experience as a 2013 Boston Marathon Medic. He will share how this tragic event has affected his life. Lunch provided. St. Dominic Centre on I-55 Frontage Road. 11:30 a.m. Call 601.200.6698 to register.
May 13 Jogging for Joseph – A Jackson Academy event featuring a 5K and 1-Mile Fun Run to raise
RIDGELAND May 10 The 2014 Magnolia Meltdown presented by St. Dominic’s and The Club features a 10K-Run, a 5K-Walk and Kids’ 1-Mile Fun Run. Register online at magnoliameltdown.racesonline.com. Events begin at 7 a.m. All proceeds will benefit the St. Dominic Community Health Clinic on West Capitol Street.
FLOWOOD May 3 Walk MS for the Multiple Sclerosis Society. Registration begins at 8 a.m. at Winner’s Circle Park. The Walk begins at 9 a.m. Food, live entertainment, awards, and children’s activities. For details email Laura.Pemberton@nmss.org. No registration fee, participants are encouraged to set a $100 fund-raising goal.
MADISON May 3 Parkway Hills United Methodist Church at 1468 Highland Colony Parkway hosts its tenth annual Springfest from 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Live music, art, children’s activities, barbeque and more. Proceeds benefit Stop Hunger Now and East Flora Elementary School’s accelerated reading program. Y
MSChristianliving.com ❘ MAY 2014 45
MAY 2014
JACKSON
➺quips & quotes
ADVERTISER INDEX
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Cut out the scriptures and quotes and place them around your home for daily encouragement!
✂
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway. – Erma Bombeck
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well. – PSALM 139:13-14
Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her. – PROVERBS 8:11-
There is eternal influence and power in motherhood. – Julie B. Beck
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? – MATTHEW 6:25-26
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – ROMANS 8:38-39
The phrase “working mother” is redundant. – Jane Sellman
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. – 1 CORINTHIANS 1:18
Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” – GENESIS 1:26-28
Every child is another opportunity for us to get things right, to raise our children with a respect for God and people and with a zest for life. Every day brings a new opportunity to love our children, to laugh with them, cry with them and watch them grow… Every day there is an opportunity to let God use your children to sand off your own rough edges, making you more like them and ultimately more like Him. – Robin O’Bryant
NORTH STATE
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Dr. Jeb Cade Dr. Adrian Whittington Dr. Jonathan Faulkner Dr. Melisa McLendon OFFICE HOURS: Monday-Friday: 7:30 am - 6:00 pm Saturday: 8:00 am - 12:00 pm Sunday: Boarding only 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
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46 MAY 2014 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
ADVERTISING PARTNERS PAGE BankPlus ......................................................................37 Belhaven University ......................................................7 Blue Cross Blue Shield of Mississippi..........................2 C Spire ...........................................................................5 Callaway's Yard & Garden............................................9 Caring Transitions .........................................................3 Carter Sledge Family Dentistry.................................31 Community Bank........................................................28 Covenant Caregivers..................................................13 Dogwood Vision Care................................................44 DORE...........................................................................23 Energy Insulation ........................................................45 EyeCare Professionals................................................17 First Presbyterian Day School....................................31 Cole Fortenberry, DMD.............................................35 Gentiva Hospice .........................................................19 GI Associates Pedicatrics...........................................21 Grantham Poole Certified Public Accountants........39 Gregg Harper for U.S. Congress ..............................35 Highland Village..........................................................31 Jackson Academy.......................................................21 Jackson Eye Associates..............................................19 Jackson Preparatory School ......................................33 Law Firm of William B. Howell, Ltd...........................43 Love Worth Fighting For Event.................................33 Miskelly Furniture .......................................................11 MWG Senior Services ................................................34 Neblett's Frame Outlets, Inc.....................................17 New Summit School...................................................45 N. State Animal Hospital ...........................................46 O! How Cute.................................................................8 Paul Moak......................................................................2 Pennington & Trim Alarm Services, Inc. .....................9 Premier Fabrics...........................................................28 Private Collection .......................................................23 Raborn Media ......................................................33, 40 Reformed Theological Seminary...............................40 Sitters, LLC ..................................................................31 Southern Accents .......................................................18 Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company.....43 St. Catherine's Village ................................................12 St. Dominic's Cancer Boutique .................................48 Stegall Imagery...........................................................42 Summit Counseling....................................................10 Thad for Mississippi....................................................39 Tim Hawkins LIVE .......................................................38 Tinnin Imports.............................................................47 Twin Lakes Conference Center .................................29 Venable Glass Services...............................................40 WHJT Star 93.5...........................................................42 Wright & Ferguson Funeral Home ...........................39 Written in Stone..........................................................40
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