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2 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
contents OCTOBER 2013
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columns 8 The Way I See It Contagious Joy
10 Living My Call Finding Freedom Through Sober Living
12 Education Connection Internet Safety—Tech Top Five
16 Modern Motherhood Perception Is Reality—Really?
18 Let’s Talk It Over What Honoring Your Parents Is and Is Not
22 Food For Thought Flavors of Fall
30 This Is My Story
features
24
Blessed by Special Needs
Aaron & Felicia Kent A Journey of Faith
34 Chewed Petunias Growing in the Dark
36 Money Matters What’s Your Plan for College Funding?
38 Sports Victories Richland’s Coach Trusting God to Pave the Way
40 Salt & Light FCA Student Athletes Carry the Cross
22
42 What’s Going On Palmer Home—A Century of Caring for Children
in every issue
8 10 What’s Coming Next Month? Joey Garner—A Leading Lady
6 44 45 46 46
Editor’s Letter Rave Reviews Event Calendar Quips & Quotes Advertiser Index
Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Volume 8, Number 4 Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc., Member, M.I.P.A. Editor: Marilyn Tinnin marilyn@metrochristianliving.com Associate Editor: Suzanne Tanner Durfey Art Direction/Graphic Design Sandra K. Goff Sales Marilyn Tinnin, Kimberly Stephens, Suzanne Tanner Durfey Contributing Writers Kim Allen, Lydia Bolen, Cristina Cribb, C. Rochelle Culp, Michael P. Denny, Nancy Flowers, Barbara Hamilton, Brent Lape, Courtney Gray Layson, Robin O’Bryant, Susan E. Richardson, Martin E. Willoughby, Jr., Robert Wilson Cover Photography Rick Guy Photography Distribution Assistants Laura Kidder, Randy Fortenberry, Andrea Sabillion, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Priscilla Sullivan, Bob Whatley, Amanda Weems
Metro Christian Living 573 Highway 51 North, Suite C Ridgeland, MS 39157 Phone 601-790-9076 • Fax 601-790-9078 www.metrochristianliving.com
Metro Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and lifechanging encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Metro Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Metro Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2013 by Metro Christian Living, Inc. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of International Bible Society.
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➺editor’s letter Wisdom, Courage, and Discernment in Tough Times “Lo! the hosts of evil ’round us, Scorn Thy Christ, assail His ways. From the fears that long have bound us, Free our hearts to faith and praise. Grant us wisdom, grant us courage, For the living of these days, For the living of these days.” – From “God of Grace and God of Glory” Words by Harry Emerson Fosdick
And those who ❝ know thy name put their trust in thee, for thou, O Lord, hast not forsaken those who seek thee.
❞
– Psalm 9:10
I’m one who loves the old hymns like the one above. From my earliest days when my mother planted me on the front row of the First United Methodist Church in Indianola, correcting my misbehavior with a raised eyebrow from her perch in the choir loft, I learned the tunes and the words of the great hymns. Nobody in those days worried too much about reshaping the format of the service in order to attract a particular demographic. There were no studies that told the administrative board that the average age of our church members was 35.3 and that we needed to market Jesus in a way that touched that age group. I’m not criticizing the modern church when I make that comment, but I am just speaking of my experience. There is great theology in the words of those old hymns, and if ever there were eternal messages inscribed on my heart, many came straight from those verses. I learned the words even though I did not understand some of them until years later. I don’t think that was a bad thing at all. I also did not acquire a taste for broccoli in my pre-school years, but its consistent presence at the table meant that I eventually developed an appreciation for it! Every day, breaking news surprises me. I grew up in a home where dinner table conversation was political. When I was three (1954), I named (with no prodding) my Christmas doll “Ike,” so you get the picture. In some seasons of life I paid more attention than in others, but I have always followed with some interest the news that was impacting our country. Today, I alternate between following 24/7 and total “take a break” periods simply because it is so easy—and logical—to fear the chaos and the total lack of godly leadership in high places. Can I just say that those hymns and much scripture that I committed to memory in the easy times come dancing across my brain in these scary times, calming my heart and encouraging my spirit to just keep on keeping on because God is still on his throne? At my church, our Sunday morning topic over the past several months has been the book of Hebrews. It has encouraged me greatly in how to live during these uncertain times. In a nutshell, believers must remember three essentials. 1. Throw off everything that hinders. That can be hard because some of those things that “hinder” our relationship with Jesus don’t go so quietly. They can also be things we do not want to “throw off” at all. Oops. But if you can “throw off,” it really gets easier after that. 2. “Run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Perseverance is just doing the next “right” thing in front of you, and if you are relying on Jesus to direct you, you don’t have to see the total GPS route at once. You just take one step at a time. He even gives the grace to take the steps that make you nervous.
3. The third thing is to “fix your eyes on Jesus.” I would say that if you forget the first two points and manage to do that one, you’d be just fine. Because it really is all about Jesus, and when that thought becomes your heart it just clears your vision and all of a sudden, those words—again from an old hymn—make so very much sense. “When peace like a river…it is well, it is well with my soul.” It gets to be OKAY with your soul even when it is not well with your situation. That is a safe and peaceful place to be—always.
I think you will pick that thought up as you read this issue. It is definitely a “perk” for me to talk to people and hear their faith stories. Visiting with Aaron and Felicia Kent, for example, leaves me wanting to jump up and down like a cheerleader—enthusiastic and supportive for my “team.” The great God of the universe invades all the parts of all our days. He is living and involved in all our lives, and he is not intimidated by the data used to categorize all of us. He meant it when He said he had plans for a hope and a future for those who love him. It is all true. It is all totally counter-cultural to the world we now inhabit. But it is so good and so refreshing! Enjoy this issue. We certainly have. Y
6 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and Editor marilyn@metrochristianliving.com
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CONTAGIOUS JOY recently relocated my family to Memphis as a part of my job with Butler Snow Advisory Services. As
I walked the first day into the lobby of the office building where I now work, I noticed a sight I had seen on previous visits. A tall, welldressed gentleman was walking around greeting everyone that walked into the building. It didn’t matter if the visitor was old or young, man or woman, white or black, this gentlemen was engaging with them, sharing high fives, knuckle bumps, and plenty of laughs. As the days went by, I started to linger around a little in the lobby just to watch this activity a little closer. I enjoyed watching seeing the smiles that he was able to get out of people. Who knows what kind of morning many of these people may have had, but he was determined to spread some joy into their day. Being a curious person, I had to learn more about this situation. I have been in a lot of office buildings, and I have never seen a dynamic like this before. I learned that this joy spreader was named Darryl and that he had worked for the building management for over 20 years. I am still not exactly sure what his official job is, but I do know what he does each day is make the workers and guests in this building feel welcome. I also learned that the source of his joy was his relationship with his savior Jesus Christ, and that he had been a gospel musician. I asked him about how all of this started, and he shared that when he first started working there that he would do just like he does today and greet people enthusiastically—although few people would respond. We laughed as he described how people would stare at their shoes or pretend not to see him. That did not stop him. He would shout out to them with a big grin on his face and wish them a great day anyway. As he shared with me, “I don’t speak to people to get a reaction from them. I just want to share some joy with people.” Reflecting back on his musical days, he shared a line from a gospel song he used to sing, “This joy that I have the world did not give to me, and it surely can’t take it away.” While we all have different personalities and there are many challenges and problems in life, we as Christians have every reason to rejoice and be joyful regardless of our circumstances. In a strange and confusing world, we have certainty and hope. We know our ultimate destination. We live with one foot in this world and one in the next. No matter how hard we try to fix ourselves, we can never be good enough.
However, through the blood of Christ, we are forgiven and adopted sons and daughters. Darryl and I discussed that some days he may not be quite as energetic or feel like greeting everyone with the same level of enthusiasm as normal. However, he knows the
In a strange and confusing world, we have certainty and hope.We know our ultimate destination.We live with one foot in this world and one in the next.. real secret, “It’s not about me!” He shares God’s love and joy each day because it is about others. He takes serious Jesus’ words to love God and love others. When we take the focus off of ourselves, our “cup” is able to overflow, and we can share love and joy with others. Whether in school, or a nursing home, or anywhere in between, we can be encouragers and givers of joy in our spheres of influence. Who can you bless today by bringing some joy? Y Martin E. Willoughby, Jr,. is Chief Operating Officer of Butler Snow Advisory Services, LLC located in Ridgeland. He and his wife, Nicki, have two children, Ally and Trey, and live in Memphis, Tennessee.
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➺living my call by NANCY FLOWERS
Finding FREEDOM Through SOBER Living “The biggest loss in my addiction was God.” Denise Marston once trusted in alcohol for comfort. An independent woman, born and raised in Ireland by a strong family, her freedom from addiction came only through hard work and a constant dependence on the Lord. Twenty years sober, she is now a licensed therapist who spends her life helping women imprisoned by their addictions. Her experiences give her a deep and knowing compassion with which to help her patients. “As therapists, we cannot bring someone further than we’ve come ourselves.” While shepherding others on the path to sobriety, Denise has wrestled with her own personal and powerful grief. She lost her father to cancer, and then lost a baby. Her husband of 20 years, Richard, passed away in 2000, after a two-and-a-half year battle with cancer. Then, in 2003, never expecting to love again, she met Neil McCoy. “He was the man of my dreams,” she smiles, “a real soul mate.” The pair had been dating for three years when Neil learned he had leukemia. “I couldn’t understand it,” says Denise. “How could God let this happen again?” She had shared with Neil her vision of a house where women could learn how to live sober after receiving treatment for addiction. In November
10 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
2007, she told him of a house she’d learned was for sale and took him to see it. The house, built in the 1950s, was dilapidated, filled with junk, and infested with bats. The house’s four acres were untended and overgrown. Denise, undaunted by the dilapidation, unlocked the front door and led Neil through the house. After the tour, he asked her if she’d like a silent partner, but she reminded him he was never silent about anything, and just said, “We’ll talk about it later.” In February 2008, as he lay dying, Neil whispered to her, “I think you need to go ahead with the house.” She nodded and said she would name it the McCoy House. Against the advice of well-meaning friends, Denise took money from her IRA, purchased the house, and set to work renovating it. Her vision was for a beautiful home with elegant furnishings, comfortable double beds, and a big family kitchen, a retreat where newly-sober women could live in community until they were strong enough to go back home and face their issues. “People turn to substances because they are lost and hurting,” she says. “Once they are sober, the issues are still there. We work at helping them manage their lives, which gives them strength to deal with the issues.”
The McCoy House for Sober Living has five bedrooms and four bathrooms, and Denise typically accepts six women at a time. The women come from various backgrounds and locations, most from out of state to avoid the temptation to resume unhealthy relationships, and an average stay ranges from three to nine months. Many of the women are young adults who have grown up in privileged homes where society has become more important than values, outside appearances more important than relationships. “There is a lack of bonding because parents are focused on their own activities, and these young women are growing up with abandonment issues,” she says. “I hate to say it, but the relationship with their parents is what’s missing, and without it they latch onto anything.” Some of the younger women have turned to addictions such as eating disorders, pornography, spending, and gaming as comfort in the loss of these key family relationships. Living at the McCoy House teaches them how to share life with others in a positive way, and the feeling of community helps them to accept one another and to bond like a family in spite of each one’s imperfections.
Learning to live sober means accountability. Each woman is expected to fill out a daily schedule so Denise will know where she is and what she is doing from 8:00 a.m. until 11:00 p.m. Each is required to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, where she must obtain the signature of the meeting’s leader. Each is required to volunteer, to work, or to be in school. Catholic Charities, in partnership with the McCoy House, opened a thrift store, All Things New, earlier this year, which helps meet needs in the community while giving the McCoy House women a place to work. Accountability also includes household chores. “We keep it clean,” Denise says of the 4000-square-foot house. “If we live in hovels, it reflects on the outside of us.” Food is provided every Friday from Gleaners, fresh produce, frozen meats, and other staples, and each woman has a pantry shelf assigned to her, where she may keep any extra foods she purchases on her own. A chore chart posted in the kitchen delegates the shared cooking and cleaning duties; each woman is responsible for doing her own laundry. “Boundaries are very important,” Denise notes. “Most of these women are used to hearing their parents speak of boundaries, but no one follows through. We want them to learn how to live with others in healthy relationships, and that means healthy boundaries.” The rambling house offers space for families to visit, a nook for working puzzles, a table in a sunny room off the kitchen for arts and crafts, and quiet spaces outside for rest and reflection. The sitting room has TV and a computer with limited Internet access, where the women can apply for jobs. Denise’s friend Darryl Hobson, owner of Next Generation Fitness in Madison, provides free memberships to McCoy House residents. Denise wants them to fill their lives with activities that promote healthy thinking rather than “mindless video games and texting.” She encourages women to challenge their
core beliefs, and to trust Jesus instead of selfdestructive behaviors to find comfort, meaning, and purpose. She strengthens her own spiritual life by starting each morning with devotional readings, a gratitude list, which sometimes includes as many as 50 items, and a list of affirmations to remind her who she is in Christ. And she prays. “I get on my knees every day and ask God to guard my thoughts and my motives,” she says. “When the selfishness comes back, and it does, I need God to help me.” The house’s large backyard, though still unrenovated, has plenty of room to create beautiful spaces for rest and reflection.
She encourages women to challenge their core beliefs, and to trust Jesus instead of self-destructive behaviors to find comfort, meaning and purpose. Denise has plans to install some outdoor flower, herb, and vegetable gardens, as well as a stand-alone chapel for prayer and multidenominational services. But her plans have been radically enlarged in recent weeks. The house directly behind the McCoy House went up for sale a year ago, and she knew then, by faith, that they would buy it. With no money to purchase it, she asked if owner financing on the property was possible and the owner agreed to finance $85,000 of the $285,000 asking price. Raising $200,000 seemed impossible, so Denise prayed about it. God had done the impossible for her before. About two weeks after Denise’s conversation with the owner, she received a call from Sister Paulinus Oakes, a mercy nun and chaplain at St. Dominic Behavioral Health Services. The Sister asked her to lunch, and, in the conversation, Denise shared
her vision to purchase the house to use for spiritual retreats for women struggling with addiction. She also admitted her lack of funds with which to do it. Sister Paulinus just smiled. “I can help you,” she said. Denise, sitting stunned and speechless, learned that fifteen years ago, Sister Paulinus wrote a book, Angels of Mercy, which made roughly $40,000 that the Sister had invested well. She’d made a call to her bank before meeting Denise for lunch, and the amount in the account was $200,000. She wanted it all to all to go to the McCoy House. “I couldn’t believe it!” Denise laughs. “I was educated in Ireland by the sisters of mercy, so this really meant so much to me.” Though the Lord had provided this staggering sum, there was still the matter of the other $85,000. Denise learned that the owner had lowered the price, and with generous gifts from some local businessmen and one of her friends, they had the $65,000 needed to tender a cash offer on the home. The offer was accepted. The Lord had proved His faithfulness again. Learning to live sober isn’t easy. But Denise is committed to seeing her “girls” free from addiction, free from the pain they have suffered, and free to live for the glory of God. “My goal for the McCoy House,” she says, “has always been to build a sanctuary for women where they can heal from the wounds of the past, live in the present, and plan for the future.” For more information about the McCoy House for Sober Living, or to make a taxdeductible donation, visit www.themccoyhouse.com. Y Nancy Flowers writes and sells real estate in the Jackson area. Visit her blog, The Riches of His Grace, at nancyhflowers.wordpress.com, and contact her at nancyhflowers@gmail.com.
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➺education connection by COURTNEY GRAY LAYSON
Internet Safety—Tech Top Five completely responsible decisions. We wouldn’t give our kids a car and turn them loose on the streets of Jackson without proper training and instruction. And we shouldn’t give them full use of technology without appropriate teaching and guidance. It’s okay to set limits on the access kids have to computer and cell phone use. Our kids cannot be expected to use the same level of discretion that we would, and the consequences for not doing so are farreaching and long lasting.
bout four months ago, I put my cell phone on the roof of my car while loading my three year old into the backseat. Because I
A
mostly function on adrenaline and caffeine, I then walked around to the driver’s side, climbed in, and drove away. So long cell phone. To be honest, my husband and I were overdue for an upgrade. We decided to bite the bullet and purchase iPhones. And I have to tell you we love them! Who wouldn’t want to access Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Candy Crush Saga, My Fitness Pal, and so much more—all with the touch of a button? Who doesn’t want to be available 24/7 for emails, phone calls, and texts? (Insert sarcasm here.) Let’s face it. The advances in technology are a mixed bag. Have they made our lives significantly more flexible? Yes. Have they made our lives significantly more complicated? Yes. And while the pros and cons of the technological revolution will continue to be debated, we must all recognize that technology has drastically and permanently changed the dynamics of our own lives—and also the lives
of our children. So how should we handle this age of information access and excess? And do these new demands change the game when it comes to parenting? As a licensed counselor and as a mom, I would say yes. To simplify a bit, here are five things to keep in mind when dealing with your child and technology.
1. Technology is not the enemy.
Our children are growing up in a world where technology is a first language. You and I may remember a time before cell phones and laptop computers existed, but our kids don’t. Like it or not, technology is necessary for basic school and job functioning. By avoiding technology completely, we are neglecting our children’s appropriate development. However, parental instruction and guidance is necessary to ensure that we don’t give our kids freedom beyond what they can handle.
2. Children are not the enemy.
Sometimes kids break rules. However, we are not raising small criminals. Allow children the freedom to make mistakes and try to take it in stride. Obedience is great, but it is not necessarily the end goal. If we treat our kids like they are the enemy, it will destroy our relationship with them for the future. If you find that your child has misused his or her technology then use appropriate discipline, but if you find yourself playing parent-detective 24/7 then you may want to re-think your strategy. Remember: Children are not the enemy. Repeat 10 times daily.
3.
Children are not adults. You
and I have a fully developed pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for complex decision making). Our children do not. It’s okay—they are developmentally appropriate for their age and stage of life. However, we cannot expect them to make 12 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
cannot replace 4. Security parenting.
There are a variety of great security devices that can help parents monitor technology. MobiStealth, Phone Sheriff, and My Mobile Watch Dog, just to name a few. And while all of these advances in security are great, they cannot replace the need for good old-fashioned parenting. Do not simply install security software on your child’s phone and walk away. We must be in the habit of talking with our kids about their friends and activities. We need to have discussions with them about the decisions they are facing and about the thought processes they use to come to certain conclusions. Children who feel emotionally connected to their parents are much less likely to be involved in high-risk behaviors.
kid is a bully and so is 5. My yours.
Hold up your right hand and solemnly swear: “I will not portray my child or any one else’s child a sinner or a saint.” Here’s what I mean. We are all human. Our children cannot be labeled as the victim or the bully in each and every situation. Sometimes my child will be mean to yours and sometimes your child will be mean to mine. If you find that either one is happening to your child via technological means then address it—quickly. Just make sure that you remember the tables will turn at some point. So treat the other parent the same way that you’d want to be treated if you were on the other end—because soon you will be. Y Courtney Gray Layson is a native Jacksonian and a graduate of MS College and Asbury Theological Seminary. She is the mother of two and a Licensed Professional Counselor Christ United Methodist Church in Jackson. Contact Courtney at 601.914.7119.
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Present the 2013 Breast Cancer Awareness Schedule of Events
- proceeds benefit fund for the girls.
“Fund Days at Renaissance” Raffle Purchase $25 raffle tickets for “Fund Days at Renaissance” at www.fundforthegirls.com/fund-times and at Renaissance in the tourism and management offices. The raffle winner will receive meals, merchandise, lodging and more valuing $1500.00. For a complete list of participating merchants visit our website. The drawing will be held at Pink Night Out on October 31.
will be awarded. Instructors include Maya Buford, Tisha Sullender, Danielle Wells, Brittany Ricker and other area instructors. Call 601.925.7900 for details. Purchase $10 per person tickets at www. fundforthegirls.com/fund-times or at the front door. OCTOBER 15
Tennis Tournament
The Country Club of Jackson will be the host site for the fund for the girls tennis tournament for men and women starting at 5 PM. The cost is $50 per participant. The tournament will include Power of Pink: Celebrating Women’s Health Day round robin doubles and mix doubles (men and women). It will Join these important preventive health screenings for glucose, also feature an exhibition match, music, food, and silent auction. total cholesterol, blood pressure and body mass index (BMI). Screenings are available by appointment beginning at 9 AM until Proceeds benefit fund for the girls. There is a $20 guest fee 1 PM at Baptist for Women. Please note, these screenings do NOT payable at the event for non-players. Register online at www. fundforthegirls.com/fund-times. include a mammogram, but breast health information will be available. The event is free but registration is required by calling OCTOBER 21 the Baptist Health Line at 601.948.6262. OCTOBER 4
An Overview of Breast Cancer Screenings OCTOBER 5
Fund Run for the Girls Kinkade’s Fine Clothing hosts the first 5k at 8:00 AM located on 120 West Jackson Street in Olde Towne Ridgeland. Preregistration is $25 before September 28th (or before September 30 online). Late registration is $30. Pre-register by mail postmarked no later than Saturday, September 28th, 2013 or online at www.fundforthegirls.com/fund-times.
Join Baptist, Radiologist James L. Burkhalter, MD and Breast Navigator Adrienne Russell, RN, MSN, to learn how mammograms and other imaging tests help physicians determine what to do and how to correctly perform a breast self-exam. This seminar will be held in the Baptist for Women Conference Center at 4:15 PM and at 5:00 PM. Following the presentatation, there will be a clinical breast exam screening offered to participants. Limited screening appointments are available. The event is free, but registration is required by calling 601.948.6262.
OCTOBER 10
Puttin’ in Pink Golf Tournament The first Puttin’ in Pink golf tournament will be held at Bay Pointe Country Club. Tee times will be at 8:00 AM or 1:00 PM with a shotgun start. The cost is $125 per person and includes lunch, greens fee and carts. Teams for the tournament will be four-man. Prizes will be awarded to golfers with the longest drive, longest putt, best overall score, best team score and have a chance to win a car with a hole-in-one on a select hole. Register at www. fundforthegirls.com/fund-times. OCTOBER 14
ZUMBATHON Join us for “A Dance-Fitness Party For a Cause” will be held from 6:00 PM – 8:00 PM at the Baptist Healthplex Clinton. Door prizes
OCTOBER 31
Pink Night Out at The Belhaven Join WLBT’s Power of Pink sponsors for PINK NIGHT OUT and the grand opening of The Belhaven, Baptist’s newest office/retail building, from 5:00 PM until 9:30 PM at 1200 North State Street. Come taste the newest restaurants in town, and visit with The Belhaven tenants and Power of Pink sponsors. The kids will enjoy Halloween “trunk or treating” from 5:00 PM until 6:30 PM. Bands include BackSlash and The Weeks. Sign Wilson Kia’s Power of Pink car. A special event will be held for breast cancer survivors. Cost is $5 for adults and children free made possible by Kinkade’s Fine Clothing. All proceeds benefit fund for the girls. Purchase tickets at www.fundforthegirls.com/fund-times.
➺modern motherhood by ROBIN O’BRYANT
I
Perception Is Reality—Really?
I’m taking Aubrey and Emma, my nine-year-old and seven-year-old, to see Taylor Swift in concert later this month. I bought the tickets almost 10 months ago, but I waited until this summer to tell them to avoid to question, “How many more days, Momma?!?” for as long as possible. They were excited when I told them, but thankfully their little brains became consumed with swimming and sleepovers and they never once asked for a countdown. Here’s where things get embarrassing for me—I joined the Taylor Swift fan club. (Go ahead and laugh. It could be worse—I could be taking them to see Justin Bieber or One Direction.) But I joined the fan club to get early access to purchase tickets to the concert. Last week, the UPS man showed up at my house with three identical boxes, all addressed to me. I was surprised to open it and find a huge pile of Taylor Swift swag: posters, bracelets, glow necklaces, lanyards, pens, magnets, guitar picks, a phone case, and the pièce de résistance—a woven Taylor Swift throw blanket that is roughly large enough to cover a twin sized bed. And let me be clear, Taylor Swift is gorgeous, but her face woven into a tapestry-style throw blanket? Not something I wanted to look at everyday. I struggled with whether or not to even show the girls. I knew that opening these boxes would mean that I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere in my house without having Taylor Swift staring at me. But I caved and gave them the boxes when they got home from school. Emma squealed, “I can’t believe that Taylor Sthift sent us all this stuff! Did you tell her I was learning to play the guitar, Momma?” She held up the picks. (And Sthift is not a typo. It’s how Emma says her name—she cannot be convinced she is wrong.) “What? Oh! Baby, Taylor Swift didn’t actually send you all of this herself! We just got this because we bought tickets and joined
the fan club,” I explained. Emma was undeterred, she flipped through the concert photographs in the box, “I can’t wait until we get there and I get my picture made with her! Do you think she’ll let me sing with her?” I felt a little sick as I started explaining the concept of a concert to Emma. “Honey, there are going to be thousands of people there. It will be fun and we’ll sing along but we aren’t going to get to meet her.” Emma’s eye widened, “MOMMA! Do you think she’s read your book?!? Because you are famous and she is famous! She probably follows you on Twitter!” “Baby—I am NOT famous. I wrote a book. Lots of people write books. Taylor Swift IS famous, and she does not follow me on Twitter. I promise.” I spent a few more minutes trying to explain to both of the girls why going to a concert is fun even if you don’t meet the musician. I hadn’t realized they were expecting their own personal play date with Taylor Swift. It was heartwarming and hilarious to know, that at least in Emma’s eyes, I have Taylor Swift rock star status. I guess once you get your face woven into a tapestry throw, you know you’ve really arrived. But until I can casually drape a Robin O’Bryant blanket across the back of the couch, Emma is redecorating my house in Taylor Swift circa 2013. Y Robin O’Bryant is mother to three daughters, wife to one husband, and debut author of Ketchup Is A Vegetable And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves. She shares the drama and hilarity of motherhood in her syndicated family humor column, “Robin’s Chicks” and on her blog by the same name, robinschicks.com.
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➺let’s talk it over by CRISTINA CRIBB
What Honoring Your Parents Is and Is Not
W
We all know the command. “Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you,” (Exodus 20:12). It must be important since it is one of the Ten Commandments, right? Have you ever wondered HOW to honor your parents, especially when you are not really “feeling it,” or if you do not think they deserve it? As a therapist, I see clients who frequently exhibit issues that we can trace back to their childhood and experiences with their parents. As a result of this exploration, I often hear, “How am I supposed to be a Christian and ‘honor my father and mother,’ when I am feeling hurt by and angry with them?” That got me to wonder if we really understood the meaning of this verse in Exodus and what it means to give honor. I would say most of us read “honor your father and mother,” and think that means we have to do everything our parents say without question, endure their abuse, and to put them first in our lives. First, let me say that abuse is NEVER okay, and if that has been your reality, I am so sorry. Your parents are supposed to be the ones who love, affirm, and protect you, and the fact that they have not wounds beyond words. As a survivor of any type of abuse (sexual, physical, emotional, neglect), the only way you may be able to honor your parents is from a distance—both emotionally and physically. After doing a Google search of the word “honor,” I found that
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Merriam-Webster defines honor in several different ways, my favorite being “to show a courteous regard for; to revere.” What honor is not, is worship. Putting your parents before anyone or anything else is just that; it is worship. The first commandment tells us that we should have no other gods before Him. There is no one else we should esteem or worship above God, not even our parents. Honoring does not mean we have to, or to continue to, seek our parents’ approval. It does not mean to make oneself vulnerable to unacceptable and hurtful behavior. It does not mean the past did not happen or is not important. However, the command also does not say, “honor your perfect parents.” All parents are fallen and sinful and could use a helping of grace. As Christians on this side of heaven, we are all a mixture of bad and good, fallen and redeemed, ashes and beauty. It seems and feels like such a dichotomy! What also appears to be a dichotomy is to love your parents with boundaries of time, communication, etc. This is where Christian counseling and community is such a beautiful thing. One of my favorite and most memorable quotes from graduate school is, “We are broken in relationship, and we are healed in relationship.” God can take that relationship that has broken you, and through relationship with another person, heal you through that corrective emotional experience. Is it really honoring when we let our parents steamroll us, all the while cursing them in our heads, or maybe out loud, and harboring such bitterness and resentment towards them? Or is honor to forgive them as Jesus forgave us and to set healthy boundaries, knowing where they end and we begin, learning how to protect ourselves, and having realistic expectations of them? I would have to say though harder, the second option fulfills our charge to honor our parents, while loving God and ourselves, as well. For more information on healthy boundaries, I recommend Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend’s book, Boundaries. Y Christina Cribb, MAMFT, LPC, is a therapist at Summit Counseling of First Baptist Church Jackson. She provides counseling for individuals, couples, families and children in the areas of depression, anxiety, sexual abuse, parenting issues and other areas. To contact her, please call 601.949.1949 or email ccribb@fbcj.org.
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When severe dizziness threatened her go-getter lifestyle, 83-yearold Odessa Whitehead of Ridgeland thought: “I can’t live the rest of my life like this.” She had great-grandkids to babysit, a yard to keep and plenty of plans to “get out and do.” So she’s grateful that her doctor recommended a balance disorder specialist at Methodist Outpatient Rehabilitation in Flowood. Whitehead said her treatment for the vertigo—a series of head maneuvers that reposition misplaced calcium crystals in the inner ear—was surprisingly simple and effective. “It sounded like a lot of hocus pocus, and I came in really skeptical,” Whitehead said. “But you know what, I got better.” An amazing United Methodist ministry of recovery and hope—supported by an exceptional team of caregivers. specializing in care for stroke, spinal cord injury, brain injury and amputation. For information, visit methodistonline.org or call 601-364-3434 or toll-free 1-800-223-6672, ext. 3434.
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➺food for thought by LYDIA BOLEN
Flavors of Fall
fall. It marks the end to the blazing summer I love here in Mississippi.
Fall can be refreshing and can energize us as we are reminded of another season approaching. Color is all around us. The bright oranges, vibrant reds, and golden yellows—they heighten our senses. The leaves changing colors and the temperatures cooling down inspire me to search and prepare new fall recipes, as well as enjoying my trusty favorites. My October baking will definitely include a cinnamon apple cake—full
of flavor, plus a good use for pretty apples. This cake makes a nice gift. Roasting vegetables for dinner is a great way to incorporate a healthy side for any meal. Boiling peanuts at our house is a tradition that all generations of my family have enjoyed, especially on a football weekend. The aroma of peanuts on the stove reminds me of happy times with my parents and grandparents. This fun snack recipe is a “keeper” to hand down to future generations. Enjoy your fall baking and roasting! Y
ROASTED VEGETABLES
CINNAMON APPLE CAKE
CAJUN BOILED PEANUTS
1 large red onion, cut into large chunks 4 large carrots, chopped thickly (leave the skins on) 1 pound red potatoes, chopped thickly (leave the skins on) 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 tablespoon rosemary 1 tablespoon basil 1 tablespoon crushed red pepper (or adjust according to taste) 2 cloves garlic, minced Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place all vegetables, oil, and seasonings into a bowl and combine. Line a cookie sheet with foil. Place vegetables on the cookie sheet and roast for about 30 minutes. Servings: 4
1 3/4 cups sugar, divided 1/2 cup unsalted butter (one stick), softened 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 eggs, large 6 ounces cream cheese, softened 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 1/4 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 3 cups Rome apples, peeled and chopped Cooking spray (I like Baker’s Joy) Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Beat 1 1/2 cups sugar, butter, vanilla, and cream cheese at medium speed on mixer until blended. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Combine flour, baking powder, and salt. Add flour mixture to creamed mixture, beating at low speed until blended. Combine 1/4 cup sugar and cinnamon. Combine 2 tablespoons cinnamon sugar mixture and apples in a bowl, and then stir apple mixture into batter. Pour batter into an 8-inch or 9-inch springform pan coated with cooking spray. Sprinkle batter with remaining cinnamon sugar mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour and 15 minutes or until cake pulls away from the pan. Cool cake completely on a wire rack. Yields: 12 servings
3 pounds of raw “green” peanuts 1/3 cup kosher salt Water (enough to cover the peanuts plus 2 inches more) 1 package Louisiana shrimp and crab boil mix Thoroughly rinse raw unshelled peanuts in cold water. Place water, salt, seasoning packet, and peanuts in a large stockpot. Bring to a low boil. Cover and maintain the low boil for 2 and 1/2 hours. At this point, check for taste and tenderness. Remove stockpot from heat. Let peanuts soak for about 10 to 15 minutes. Drain peanuts and refrigerate.
(Any combination of colorful fall vegetables can be substituted.)
22 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of Him that sent me, and to finish His work.” – John 4:34
Remember to make memories through the kitchen— “the heartbeat of the home.” E-mail me at lbbolen@gmail.com for any questions.
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Aaron & Felicia Kent A Journey of Faith he sign out front reads Kent’s Cajun Kitchen, and in smaller letters beneath,“Authentic Cajun Cuisine.” The cuisine is not the only thing that
T
is authentic inside this small café. Aaron and Felicia Kent are the entrepreneurial young couple who took a wholehearted leap of faith back in 2011 by giving up their secure day jobs—with full benefits—using their personal savings as capital and jumping into the restaurant business. Why would they do something so risky? Well, the short answer is because God told them to. Felicia realized a long time ago that God did indeed have “plans for a hope and a future,” (Jeremiah 29:11) for her. She had seen Him move mountains and do the, if not 24 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
impossible, very unlikely in her life—and she was no lukewarm believer. Here was the girl who had grown up in New Orleans’ Lower Ninth Ward. If God had rescued her from the future she could so easily have had there, she knew He could do any unlikely thing He wanted to do with her life. She was ready, willing, and able to obey. Felicia had learned the art of New Orleans cuisine at the knees of her mother and grandmother. She loved to cook like some people love to paint or write poetry. It was her creative outlet and the hobby she turned to when she was stressed. Never had she considered turning that passion into a vocation—at least not until a sleepless night in November of 2010 when that familiar still voice
spoke to her heart about starting a catering business. Felicia was certain God had told her to do it “now.” When she almost Aaron and Felicia on timidly mentioned it their wedding day in Las to her husband, Vegas, July 27, 2009. Aaron, the next morning, he did not think she was crazy at all. Despite his secure job at Lowe’s, a 401(k) plan, and the goal of becoming store manager, he was on board. They agreed that they could not “steal” time from their regular jobs to pursue this, but the perfect time was at hand to seek more confirmation.
Felicia W. Kent, President Beverly W. Hogan, and Felicia’s mother, Audrey M. Whittington at Tougaloo College Founders' Day October 2010.
It was only a week until Thanksgiving. Felicia, who was executive director of the Owens Health and Wellness Center at Tougaloo College, knew that she had this window of time during Thanksgiving break to launch this venture. In three short days, they applied for the required business license, a Taxpayer ID Number, came up with a name, started a Facebook page, registered domain names, created flyers advertising their services, and purchased five electric fryers (an act of faith)! Menu options were few, but they were familiar recipes Felicia could almost do in her sleep: fried turkey, gumbo, and potato salad. They immediately got 47 orders. Aaron, who is her partner, soul mate and supportive husband, is quick to point to Felicia’s tenacity as a big factor in their Felicia flashes her success, but he adds big smile as an that the greatest reason elementary student. the business took off was they made an intentional decision to fast, pray, and wait for God’s leading. There was no business plan at the time. Felicia and Aaron were not even sure what would come next. They were certain, however, that God had opened a door and they were going to follow Him through it.
Felicia’s Roots Born to a single mother in the infamous Desire projects in New Orleans’ Lower Ninth Ward, statistics would say she was doomed from the start. A little research on the Internet reveals that children born to single moms in the ghetto have a “slim to none” chance of escaping the same fate. The Desire projects, 262 poorly constructed apartment buildings, which began to fall apart almost as soon as they were completed, housed about 13,000 people during 1970s. The community was a breeding ground of despair and hopelessness.
A very proud assortment of siblings, cousins, grandmother, mother, and Rev. and Mrs. Jennesford came to Felicia’s graduation from Jackson State University.
Mother Audrey's 60th Birthday Celebration at the Kent's Home with 9 of 27 grandkids!
And it was at her church, Greater New Home Missionary Baptist Church, that Pastor Walsdorf Jenneford, taught her Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” That became her life verse and continues to be the first thought that comes to her no matter the challenge. She laughs that her friends and family would call her a “fighter,” but actually it is the reality of Philippians 4:13 that fuels her energy and her determination. Aaron and Felicia visit Felicia’s childhood church in the Lower Ninth Ward, where Education may have been her ticket, but Pastor Jenneford still leads the congregation! even so, getting that education was not exactly a piece of cake. At George Washington Carver All around Felicia were poverty, violence, High School, there were not enough books to and crime. Gunshots were a common sound go around; therefore, students were not allowed after dark. Two of Felicia’s brothers to take them home were murdered. Young girls rarely for study. Staying completed high school—choosing around after school instead to have babies and thus to use the textbooks perpetuate the generational cycle of was not an option poverty. either since Felicia Felicia was the oldest of 10 children, had to get home to and the family existed on a government take care of her check of $501.00 per month. She had younger siblings. no relationship with her father, but at They were a closeevery critical juncture in her formative knit group, and years God provided Christian men in Felicia naturally her life, each one a mentor as well as a Kent and Felicia celebrate Kent’s assumed the role of Cajun Kitchen’s first anniversary father figure. Her minister, her high cook, teacher, and with their pastors, Marcus and school principal, an uncle—all sources Paige Whitman, of Word of Life. caregiver. of great encouragement—shared a Whenever the common message with Felicia again and responsibilities felt overwhelming on her little again. “Education is your ticket out of here. You teenaged shoulders, her high school principal can do better.” would tell her, “Felicia, you have to be able to see beyond these bricks. You must be able to see beyond the projects.” He helped her believe there was a world beyond the ghetto, and if she would just hold on and finish school, he would help her get into college with a scholarship. She did, and he did. Felicia enrolled at Jackson State University with a full academic scholarship. She flourished with good grades and honors graduating in 1993 with a Bachelor of Science degree in Sociology, Criminal Justice & Correctional Services. She In their Desire Street apartment, Felicia’s early immediately enrolled in graduate school, graduating in 1996 with a master’s degree in attempt at baking was a birthday cake for her Urban Affairs, Criminology & Justice Services. mom. Felicia holds her little sister Latoya Her dream was to design and implement while other siblings look on. metrochristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2013 25
successful programs for at-risk youth. This was an area she knew upside down and inside out, and she yearned with all her heart to help others escape the ghetto just as she had.
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For the next 15 years, that is exactly what she did, working her way up to the position of Executive Director of the Tougaloo College Owens Health and Wellness Center. Felicia gave the commencement address to Administering community health programs in the 2010 Carver Senior High School graduates at UNO Lakefront Arena in New Orleans. This underserved areas brought her a great deal of was especially meaningful to Felicia since recognition and a bevy of awards. But perhaps these students had survived Katrina. the personal satisfaction of helping others was faith as small as a mustard seed, the best reward Felicia you can say to this mountain, could imagine. She was ‘Move from here to there,’ and featured in publications it will move. Nothing will be from The Clarion impossible for you.” Ledger to The New As a “reminder,” he passed York Times and out little packets of mustard interviewed on seeds with the scripture television and radio stations. The scope of Aaron with his mother, Shonda Spikes, attached. Felicia and Aaron knew this message was for her programs included and grandmother, Elvira Spikes. them, and so they began to fast the elderly as well as and pray. The only thing they knew they should at-risk youth, and as she helped others, she not do was to borrow money. Even so, how was also able to help her family back in irresponsible would it be to take cash from a New Orleans. During Hurricane Katrina in 2005, when the 401(k), to use their savings, to jump into the restaurant business in this totally levees broke around New Orleans, the remnant unconventional manner? On the other hand, of Felicia’s family sought refuge at Felicia’s they were speaking to the God who parted the home in Jackson. Several of them soon realized sea, healed the blind and the lame—the one they had nothing to return to, and with Felicia’s about whom the scriptures say, “Is anything too encouragement, they made Jackson their home. hard for God?” (Genesis 18:14). They knew what He was leading them to do, but it was a From Catering to a little scary. Did God really know about the Brick-and-Mortar Business! catering business? Hilarious question. After the success of the Thanksgiving Oh, but He was asking for way more than catering adventure in 2010, Aaron and Felicia just catering out of their house. Isn’t that so began to get requests for a Christmas menu. like Him? Felicia would have a two-week break from her After their third successful catering endeavor job at Tougaloo, and so they dove in once again. on Super Bowl weekend, right after the Between their word-of-mouth customers and “Mustard Seed” sermon a week or so earlier, their Facebook page, the number of orders Aaron and Felicia got a call from a tenant at increased significantly. Colony Crossing, asking them if they might be They were still working out of their home in interested in assuming her lease and opening a Madison, and as customers came to pick up restaurant in that space. their orders, most sat down and visited. Aaron Up until this point, their capital expenditure and Felicia loved the personal interaction and had been limited and very safe. They had the conversation, and they sensed that the comfortable and welcoming atmosphere in their discussed where the catering might lead, but in their minds, the thought of a restaurant was a home was something their customers valued. long way off. That was significant. This was exciting and scary all at the same In the backs of their minds, they could see the framework of a food business with a spiritual time. They had been fasting and praying. So was this their answer? Was God moving this fast? dimension. So they asked God for clarity. Did they want Him to move this fast? If so, It was in early 2011 that a sermon by their were they willing to jump in and really do this pastor, Joel Sims at Word of Life, left both full time—cutting their safety net of full-time, Aaron and Felicia with the strong sense God and full-benefits, jobs? was pushing them to step out in faith, to take Ultimately, nothing else made sense except this business to the next level—full time. The to obey. As Felicia quotes scripture, “To obey is scripture was Matthew 17:20, “…if you have
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If I gave everything I have to the poor & even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. – 1 Corinthians 13:3
real love.
real acceptance.
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better than sacrifice,” (1 Samuel 15:22). And so they did. Wholeheartedly and without looking back. It was very hard emotionally to leave jobs they were both so happy with, to leave people they loved working with, and to start something completely on faith.
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A perfect Christmas gift! 28 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Aaron and Felicia resigned their jobs in March of 2011 and planned to open their new restaurant in July. Their first, self-imposed assignment was to read every book and article ever written on the restaurant business. Preparing and selling recipes you know is vastly different from operating a full-scale restaurant, and nobody knew that better than Aaron and Felicia. They knew they had to be quick studies and committed students. When Felicia received a call from entrepreneur, business guru, and premier restaurateur Jeff Good, he was seeking new clients for his Dollars and Sense Creative Consulting business. Never mind that Kent’s Cajun Kitchen was a potential competitor with his restaurants, he was interested in offering his expertise. And he meant it. Another God thing. Jeff asked such questions as, “Have you or any of your family ever been in the restaurant business? Have you ever owned a business at all?” Felicia was less intimidated by the questions and her own inexperience, than how grateful she was for his advice! They became fast friends, and for Felicia and Aaron, Jeff’s friendship was just one more indication that God was behind this leap of faith. Even today, after more than a year of success, Felicia and Aaron say that if they ever have a question about something, they pick up the phone and call Jeff. He continues to be a great source of encouragement for them. When Kent’s Cajun Kitchen opened its doors on July 11, 2012, the city of Madison turned out in mass. Jeff Good was on site all day long to observe and offer suggestions for smooth flow of operations. Felicia still tears up when she recounts all the ways God provided for them from day one. The spoken prayers from their Word of Life pastors and Felicia’s uncle, Pastor Edward Simmons, who had driven down from Missouri for the ribbon cutting, so lifted the spirits of everyone there. It was clear that this restaurant was about more than food! Six months into the business, however, Felicia went into the hospital for a surgery that was expected to be a fairly routine one. It was anything but, as she experienced some highly unusual respiratory complications and ended up literally fighting for her life. The recuperation time, which should have kept her away from the restaurant for about four weeks, ended up with a stint in the Intensive Care Unit followed by three months of recovery time. The restaurant
remained closed during that time. Although they had their moments of anxiety, they experienced God’s presence in a deep way. Felicia realized that as much as she had considered this business to be God’s property, she had not given it to Him totally. There was still a lesson to be learned. God is more than able to handle every care. Aaron says he learned in a new way, that the only certain thing any of us have in this world is our faith in Christ and His ability to meet our needs. The constant prayers offered up on Felicia’s behalf kept the couple at peace, and there came a moment of real relinquishment when they surrendered the future entirely into the hands of the God who had led them so far. The restaurant reopened in April. The customers came back bringing new customers with them. The foundation of their business plan involves ownership and stewardship. They see themselves as stewards of God’s blessings, and they make it a priority to walk that out by giving back, both financially and by volunteering and sponsoring charities and causes in their community. As Aaron says, “We really want to be able to give more and more with each year.” Felicia remains committed to helping the at-risk youth as she and Aaron volunteer at Word of Life’s Poindexter Outreach Center, Stewpot, and the Boys and Girls Clubs of Central Mississippi, to name a very few of about 15 organizations they routinely help. This fall they are leading a “Life Group” as an outreach of Word of Life. They will be teaching a couple’s cooking class at the restaurant. “Cooking with Love” brings couples together in the kitchen, but they will be also incorporate a spiritual dimension to their tips on preparing healthy meals and communicating through cooking demonstrations. As Felicia explains, “Kent’s Cajun Kitchen is not just a restaurant. We want it to be an experience where people like to come, not just for the food, but because it is a place of peace.” It is that. From the Bible verse, “If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed…” painted in large letters above the tables to the huge corkboard where customers leave their business cards, the place just shouts, “Welcome. We’re glad you stopped by!” Felicia’s recipes are to die for, but there is so much more than food being served here. There is some serious food for the soul to be had. But don’t take my word for it. Go experience it for yourself! Y Kent’s Cajun Kitchen is open Tuesday – Saturday for lunch and dinner. Visit www.kentscajunkitchen.com to view the menu. You can also find them on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Kentscajunkitchen. Call 601.427.5065 for more information
Jackson
PrepPreview School Day Visit TUESDAY,
Oct. 22 9:30 a.m.
RSVP ONLINE www.jacksonprep.net
Join us for a campus tour emphasizing grades 6-8 to experience a day in the life of our school and to see our campus transformation! Students are welcome to attend with parents. Come see what’s new at Jackson Prep!
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➺this is my story
Blessed by Special Needs
A
recent report from the United States Department of Health and Human Services reports that 14 percent of all US children have special needs. The birth of a special needs child changes everything about the family dynamic, but many believers look back and say, “We would not change a thing because this entire journey has been a blessing in ways we could never have anticipated.” Meet a few of those amazing parents and extraordinary children!
Kim Allen and son, John Calvin Allen
Autism By Kim Allen
I wait, anxiously, in the line of cars, hoping to catch a glimpse of a tall, bespectacled ninth grader, bent over with the weight of a battered backpack. My heart always races a bit until I see him and he sees me. There have been two times that he was not just as anxiously waiting for me, standing solemnly at the main school entrance. One of those times, he had been assaulted badly enough to have the perpetrator expelled immediately. The second, he had his iPhone and iTouch stolen while he was performing PT with his JROTC unit. There he is. I catch his eye and wave, trying not to be too embarrassing. He lumbers over to the SUV, hoping that I have brought him a treat, milkshake or soda, maybe even fries. He’s hungry in the afternoons. “School steals my soul,” he quips, straight-faced. “But apparently, not your appetite,” I quip back. He doesn’t always get my hilarious comebacks. There is a reason for this, and his quirky humor, and his tendency to become a target. He has autism. As much as this one word does not define my son, it definitely shapes who he is. The Asperger’s affects his mind, his gut, and his social cues. When he was diagnosed, someone 30 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
asked me, “Don’t you feel relief knowing what was going on with him?” No, not so much. It just felt like another label. There had been a few as I homeschooled him, trying to figure out why reading, math, and focus were huge obstacles. My daughter had flown through all of her milestones, advancing and excelling. Some people told me that boys were just slower, no big deal. I tried to be laid back, whatever that means. Mostly, I tried to lovingly challenge him to keep going. I read books. I had him do some exercises with a reading specialist and a former principal. But it wasn’t until, when he was 10 years of age, I convinced his general practitioner that I needed him to refer me to a place where he could have extensive testing to figure this thing out. Even the doctor said, “He doesn’t seem hyper to me” and didn’t really get it. It’s okay. I don’t hold this against anyone. It just made me realize that I was going to have to fight for him from now on. Since then, we have learned a lot. And my son has come a long way. He is now enrolled in a “real” high school. They have the resources he needs to become self-sustaining, teaching him to embrace a career. There is a great team there, and they work closely with us to ensure his education and security. He is on the honor roll, and shoots for the rifle team in JROTC. But he has special needs. Don’t change the schedule spontaneously. Don’t serve him mushy vegetables. Speak to him while looking into his eyes to ensure that he understands. Speak patiently, no yelling. Do not, under any circumstances, touch any of his Lego extravaganzas that he has set up in his room. Otherwise, everyone will suffer the consequences. He becomes sullen and unresponsive, and sometimes catatonic, if it’s really bad. Like vacation. There are wonderful things about him as well. He is very tenderhearted and loves people. He is affectionate, and is my cuddler when I feel crappy. He is honest to a fault, and takes initiative to do his chores without having to be told. The thing about all of this that makes me laugh is this—the rest of the family is not
that much different. They all have special needs. My daughter? Suggest and don’t demand. Let her keep her room like she wants. No apples, and no vegetables in the chicken casserole. Listen; don’t interrupt, it’s rude. My husband? Timing is important. Let him eat first before addressing a controversial issue. Assume the best about him. He needs trust and respect. Be on his team. Make sure he eats his meals regularly or it will get ugly. The dogs? Well, they are easy. Make sure they go outside at regular intervals and have food and fresh water daily. If so, love will abound. There are rules for all of us about how to treat one another. If we take the time to get to know one another, then we find out what is important—how to love one another well. When we look at Romans 14, we see that Paul thought the same thing. How we treat each other in Christ says a lot about how we treasure the relationships God has placed in our lives. When we look at one another, we should see someone who is unique, beautiful, gifted, and yes, has special needs. We can ask the Holy Spirit to give us those eyes to see how to love unique people uniquely, in the way God made them to receive love. This takes patience, understanding, compassion, and the love of Christ flowing freely through us. Our motivation? My husband, the priest, likes to say that everybody knows John 3:16. This is good. It gets us to the cross, our salvation. But then we need to live out 1 John 3:16, “By this we know love, that He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.” As I pull away from the school’s curb, I look over at my beautiful boy, marvelously made, handcrafted by the most Loving One of all. He looks over at me and says, “What? Do I have something in my teeth?” I say, “No, you have something in that big heart of yours that I love.” He grins. “Does that mean we can get some natural-cut fries at Wendy’s?” Ah, yes. Feed him, clothe him, love him. Most of all, love.
Lily Lape who has been a great blessing to her dad, Brent.
Unanswered Prayers By Brent Lape
“God, I pray that you can bless us with a healthy child. I pray that somehow you can bless Lily and not let her be born with any special needs or problems.” A year ago I said this prayer before the birth of our beautiful daughter, Lily. I remember thinking, “Maybe I should be specific so God knows what I mean by healthy.” I had a picture in my mind, like
most parents, of what our perfect child would be. She would be beautiful like her mother. She would kick some butt in softball and volleyball and make the varsity team in high school. She would go on to Mississippi State and get married and bless us with grandkids. God wasn’t listening to my prayer that day though. At least, that’s how I felt when we were confronted with the news that Lily possessed an extra 21st chromosome. What did I do that was so wrong to deserve this? Why us? Why my little girl? Fast forward to today, and I am starting to see exactly how blessed my wife, Kristin, and I are for this unanswered prayer. God was listening. Unfortunately, I was too busy telling God what I wanted, instead of listening to His response. It was found inside the eyes of my sweet baby girl that Monday morning—Lily’s eyes looking straight into mine simply asking me to love her and accept her. As much as I was praying for God to change Lily, He instead decided to use Lily to change me. When I look at Lily, I see my beautiful, always smiling, baby girl. Yes, Lily has Down syndrome, but that does not define who she is. Lily may only be a year old, but she has already taught me more about life and love than I could have ever imagined. Kristin and
I used to be the worst at trying to plan everything we could in our lives. As my motherin-law likes to tell us, “If you want to make God laugh, than tell him your plans.” I could worry myself to death thinking about all of the "whatifs" in regards to Lily’s future. Instead, we try to focus all of our energy on doing what we can now to ensure Lily will have the best future possible, without any limitations. Lily has also taught us how to embrace the small things in life. Every single milestone, no matter how small, we celebrate! I still remember the first time Lily rolled from her back to her stomach. We took photos and video, posted it to Facebook and texted family and friends. We also have learned to live our lives a lot slower. I am in no rush at all in waiting for Lily to achieve her next milestone. Our love for Lily is not measured in how quickly she achieves. I am so amazed to look back at this past year and see how much Lily has already accomplished. After only a few weeks at the Little Light House, she has already started waving bye and even blew kisses to the ladies at her daycare. When Carrie Cox, executive director at the Little Light House, asked for our goals for Lily, my first goal before walking and talking, was for Lily to be able to reach out and grab her birthday cake and eat it on her own. Follow us on Facebook
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(facebook.com/runnningforlily) to see if Lily was able to accomplish this first goal. We will be sure to include several messy pictures! It's still amazing to think that it was a year ago that I asked God “Why me?” Today, I wonder what I did to deserve such an incredible blessing like Lilybean. Kristin and I would love for you to join the Runnning for Lily team on October 12th for the Buddy Walk 5K (benefitting the Central MS Down Syndrome Society) and on November 2nd at the Laps for Little Ones 5K (benefiting the Little Light House of Central MS). For more information, visit www.runnningforlily.com.
Barbara Hamilton with her amazing daughter, Lindsay.
Special from the Inside out By Barbara Hamilton
Being the parent of a “special needs” child brings with it situations and challenges most parents never dream of, much less experience. What is considered “normal” for most children is much of the time so far removed and impossible for the child with special needs
that we often underestimate him. Even worse, we underestimate God’s working in and through him. But there are wonderful moments of sunshine, thanksgiving, and victory that come bursting through, often when we least expect them. Our “special” daughter, Lindsay, loves to talk to the neighbors who live behind us. She watches out the window, waiting for them to come outside, and when they do, she hurries to the fence. We have good neighbors who, when they hear her call out to them, stop what they’re doing and join her there. Several months ago, I walked outside and heard her reading to them. Thinking it was probably something about Disneyworld, her most favorite place on the planet, I suggested she read to them another time; they were busy, and she shouldn’t interrupt them. She replied, “Miss Laura’s nephew died, Mom, and I’m reading the Bible to comfort them.” I was momentarily speechless. I thought, Lord, my daughter really IS special! Thank you for the heart you’ve given her, for her innocence that expresses itself in an openness and willingness to reach out to others. And forgive me, Lord, for being so wrapped up in my own world that I am unaware of what is happening in the world of those around me. I don’t know which verses she read, but that isn’t important. What’s important is that she was reaching out to someone with a need—a special need. Isn’t that what we all should be doing? All of us “normal” people? It doesn’t take a brilliant mind or a perfect body, just a loving heart, and God has given that gift to so many whom society considers, imperfect, deficient—broken. Instead of labels like “LD,” ADD, ADHD, OCD, ODD, and others, why not choose those of “loving,” “encouraging,” “forgiving,” “joyful”? Why must we focus on what “special needs” individuals are
ST. DOMINIC’S
IS
not, instead of what they are? Our daughter has worn so many of those psychological labels through the years, yet not a one of them defines who she really is. I once thought God had given Lindsay to us so we could minister to her, teach, and love her in a manner that would be pleasing to Him. It made me feel good to think that God knew we’d love and take care of her. I saw it as a sign of His trust. But over time, my feeling evolved into a certainty that it was just the opposite, for He knew we needed her. We needed her silly jokes, her contagious laughter, her daily encouragement, her endless hugs and kisses. We needed her joy, and most of all—we needed her love. Do we have struggles? Certainly. Challenges? Always. Behavior issues? Most definitely! But I’ve learned that Lindsay can be all God created her to be, not in spite of her challenges, but because of them. That’s why each hard-fought accomplishment is such a sweet success. She is a part of God’s Perfect Plan, and she is no more imperfect than any of the rest of us. She, along with all “special needs” children and adults, deserve as much a chance as anyone else to live a happy, purposeful life. That has always been our goal for her. I’ve also found the more you learn about your child’s disability, the more you learn about yourself. Do you have patience to deal with the most trying situations? Can you accept your child’s disability? Can you encourage him to reach his potential whatever it may be? And, do you have faith that God really is in control? Someone once asked Jesus what the greatest commandment was. His answer was to love God and to love one’s fellow man. Judging from my daughter’s conversation at the fence that day, she fully understands those words. What more can I ask of my special child? Y
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A. Gordon Lyons, MD INTERVENTIONAL PAIN MEDICINE A magna cum laude graduate of Millsaps College, Dr. Lyons received his M.D. from the University of MS Medical Center. He completed his Anesthesiology residency at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston, TX and was selected Chief Fellow in Pain Medicine at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. Board-certified in both Anesthesiology and Pain Medicine, Dr. Lyons has over twenty years of experience in the field of Interventional Pain Medicine. Dr. Lyons continues to be an invited faculty instructor at national meetings of several pain societies. An advocate of collaborative care, he maintains close communication with referring and consulting providers, many with whom he has forged both personal and professional relationships over the years. Dr. Lyons and his experienced team are excited to create another ‘center of excellence’ affiliated with St. Dominic Hospital. St Dominic’s Pain Management Center 971 Lakeland Drive, Suite 1159 Jackson, MS 39216 | 601-200-4690
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S k i l l e d H a n d s . C o m p a s s i o n at e H e a r t s . 32 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
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FUNDRAISING BANQUET 2013 Thursday, October 24th from 7-9 PM Doors open at 6:30 PM Broadmoor Baptist Church 1531 Highland Colony Parkway • Madison, MS 39110
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Complimentary Dinner, Reservations Required
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601.352.3632 metrochristianliving.com â?˜ OCTOBER 2013 33
➺chewed petunias by SUSAN E. RICHARDSON
Growing in the Dark “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you,” (Psalm 139:11-12). We usually look at light and dark simplistically. Light represents good and dark is bad. When we find ourselves in spiritual or emotional darkness, our focus becomes how to get back into the light. But sometimes God leaves us in the dark for long periods, and then we have to ask what is happening in the darkness. The darkness is a place where impenetrable light shines on the hidden places of the heart. As the Spirit works, we’re slowly able to bring those hidden places out into the light. Often they’re so painful we can’t face them until the Lord has both prepared us and worked for a time. We need darkness for this kind of growth. Brenda Waggoner used the same metaphor in Fairy Tale Faith, as she spoke of finding hope in darkness. “Like the amaryllis, when we experience a season of dried-up spiritual life, nothing consoles us. We’re not aware that anything productive is happening. We may feel useless, indifferent, trapped in the dark desperation of our loneliness. Or maybe we feel nothing. Yet during this time of dormancy, whatever it is we will next need is being stored up for a season we as yet know nothing about.” Our walk through pain takes place during the soul’s night. Darkness presses in around us like soil around a bulb. Faith becomes a matter of being willing, when surrounded by blackness, to believe that light will return. More, we begin to understand that our time in the dark has a purpose. Brenda gave me more perspective on this kind of growth in the same section of her book. “Perhaps you’ve entered a dark season in your spiritual life and you are groping for God, feeling your way, hoping for a glimmer
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of light. All of us will face a time of crying out in desperation when God seems absent. At such times he is not doing nothing. He is tunneling, digging deeper, storing up, broadening, stretching us in ways we cannot see. We are ‘morphing,’ turning from a worm into a butterfly.” We seldom choose the dark, but it comes to all of us. We have to learn to walk by faith, knowing God is doing something deep and important during this time, despite the pain. Coming to this understanding isn’t easy, as I learned during my walk through counseling. I came to a point where I realized I was walking in full night. As the darkness closed around me, though, the stars became visible and occasionally a shooting star of insight flared across the sky. Spiritual darkness let me see things I couldn’t see in the light. I began to find beauty in the night and became oddly contented in darkness. From wanting to get back into the light, I began to embrace the dark. Recognizing beauty and accepting the lessons made the journey easier. I was satisfied to stay as long as needed, watching for shooting stars and moving forward a step at a time. Once we begin to embrace the darkness and pain, we can see how this gives us the opportunity to share in Jesus’ sufferings. Peter pointed this out in 1 Peter 4:13. “But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.” Jesus understands pain, both physical and emotional. He does not ask us to walk anywhere He has not walked first, including through the darkness of suffering. The journey still comes with challenges, but not purposeless pain. We embrace a path through suffering in obedience, looking to the healing that lies beyond the agony. Take a minute to consider where you are in your journey. Do you have areas where you’ve moved back into light where you can see changes now? How is growth in the darkness changing your faith?
Lord, You guide us through the night, illuminating without breaking the darkness. You created darkness just as You did light. Let us find beauty through the process as our faith grows. In Your holy darkness, work Your transformation within us. Y (*To get started with the full chewed petunias story, please visit www.chewedpetunias.com. You’ll find the story plus other material that may help you along the way.)
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34 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Susan E. Richardson has a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word. You can reach her by email at Susan@chewedpetunias.com or check either of her two websites: www.chewedpetunias.com or www.nextlevelcritiques.com
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Christ Covenant School Promise Kids program has provided an opportunity for my daughter Caroline, who has Down syndrome, to receive a Christcentered education geared for her specific needs. I can send her to school knowing that she is loved by Christian teachers and and provided with an education that will allow her to fulfill God’s plan for her life. Christ Covenant school has truly been a blessing to our family.
Shawn Wilkerson CCS Parent 752 Pear Orchard Road | Ridgeland, MS 39157 Christcovenantschool.net | 601.978.2272 metrochristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2013 35
➺money matters by MICHAEL P. DENNY
BACK TO SCHOOL What’s Your Plan for College Funding?
hile much has been written about the temporary closing of Mississippi’s Prepaid Tuition Plan, the 529 Savings Plan has been somewhat overlooked.
W
The Savings Plan can be a great vehicle for college savings, whether the beneficiary goes to college in Mississippi or out-of-state. Also, the Savings Plan offers more flexibility and many features the Prepaid Plan does not offer. This article will summarize the major benefits of the 529 Savings Plan and give you some guidance on whether it is the right vehicle for you to use for college funding.
Flexibility The owner can decide how much money they want to contribute into the account. Whatever sum of money that is accumulated in the account can be used at any eligible, accredited university anywhere in the country and many abroad. Eligible expenses include tuition, books, room and board, and other mandatory expense, which can include computers or other hardware devices needed for class. Also, if the original beneficiary of the account does not use all of the funds or does not attend an eligible institution, you can change beneficiaries of the account to another relative. The funds do not have to be withdrawn by any specific age of the beneficiary, so the money can be used for graduate school or extended learning.
The fees associated with the investments and the Plan in general are very reasonable, ranging from a .65% to .72% annual fee applied to the value of your account, which includes the State’s management fee. (The Guaranteed Option does not assess a fee to the investor, so the quoted interest rate is net of fees.)
Tax Advantages Since this is a Mississippi sponsored plan, contributions to the plan qualify for a tax deduction on the Mississippi tax return. For a single filer, the maximum tax deduction is $10,000 and for joint filers it equals $20,000. There are no Federal tax deductions allowed for contributions to any state-sponsored 529 Plans. The funds grow inside the Plan without any tax and distributions are tax-free (Federal and MS) as long as they are used for qualified educational expenses. There are also major Estate Tax benefits with the 529 Savings Plan. The funds contributed to the Savings Plan are generally considered a completed gift for gift-tax purposes and, therefore, no longer in the estate of the contributor. Unlike many other types of gifts, one major advantage to the 529 Savings Plan is the owner still maintains control of the funds in the account, so the contributor gets “the best of both worlds” from an Estate Tax standpoint. With the maximum funding amount being as much as $235,000 per beneficiary, this allows for significant estate tax planning.
Investments Once the funds are contributed to the account, they can be invested in four different investment options, which are offered by the very large financial institution, TIAA-CREF: 1) The Guaranteed Option—this is the most conservative option as it pays a fixed interest rate and the principal is guaranteed by the Plan, similar to a money market (the current interest rate equals 1.05%); 2) The Managed Allocation—this option is allocated among a mix of growth investments (stocks) and more conservative investments (bonds & cash). The allocation is determined by the age of the beneficiary, so it is invested in more growth investments at younger ages and gradually becomes more conservative as the child approaches college age (think of it as being on “autopilot”); 3) The Diversified Equity Option—this option is the most aggressive option and invests 100% in a diversified mix of stocks, so it will typically be the most volatile; 4) The Fixed-Income Option—this is a moderate risk option which is invested in a diversified mix of bonds. 36 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Conclusion When compared to other college savings options, the 529 Savings plan offers many advantages. For example, if you use a custodial account for college funding, the owner does not receive the tax benefits associated with the 529 Plan and the control of the funds reverts to the child when he or she reaches the age of majority. In conclusion, the 529 Savings Plan offered by Mississippi can be a very tax-efficient and flexible way for parents, grandparents, or even friends to save money for a child to use for college. Y (Sources: www.ms529.com; MACS Direct Plan Disclosure Booklet) Michael P. Denny, CPA, CFP, is a Partner with GranthamPoole CPA firm with offices in Metro Jackson and Oxford, Miss. His primary focus is personal financial planning and tax planning and preparation. He can be reached at 601.499.2400 or mdenny@granthampoole.com
A Fall Tradition Benefiting First Presbyterian Day School
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At the home of Linda & Wirt Yerger Ridgeland, Mississippi
“Anna & Vendela Roses” by featured artist Lyn Isonhood
Shop at the Garden and Gift Gallery, bid on exciting silent auction items, and enjoy a sampling of delicious appetizers, salads, desserts, and more. For more information or to bid on our silent auction items prior to the event visit www.holidaypotpourri.org. Tickets may be purchased from FPDS students or at the event.
metrochristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2013 37
➺sports victories by ROBERT WILSON
Richland’s Coach Trusting God to Pave the Way “Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance,” (James 1:2-3).
ot many high school football coaches in the country have persevered through a trial like Richland High School’s Jason Cook has. But not only did he get through it, Cook shined in the middle of it and on the other side, citing his commitment to Jesus Christ as the reason why. Cook, in his first head high school football coaching position in his career, had a 0-11 record in the first year at Richland in 2011. Then, he had a 0-11 record again in 2012. Cook lost the two games of 2013 before he stopped his personal losing streak of 24 games and the school’s losing streak of 29 games with a 42-6 victory over Riverside. Then the Rangers defeated McLaurin 31-28 in overtime—a team that beat them 56-6 last year—and defeated small school power Puckett 14-6 to win three games in a row. “I leaned on the promise of God daily,” Cook said. “He never left me. God doesn’t abandon people. He is always, always there for you regardless of how bad your situation is. There is always hope because nothing is bigger than God. “We may have not won a game in two years, but we had success. We have some kids who were saved during that time. The school and the community were always behind us. These kids never quit. Some of them hadn’t won a football game since they started playing in the seventh grade. But they kept working, kept lifting weights, kept running, and kept a positive and determined attitude toward football. There are going to be failures in life, but you must continue to work and overcome them. God never told us life would be easy. I told our guys to keep plugging away and the dam would eventually break. You eat an elephant one bite at a time. Even with all the negative and social issues going on these days, my guys kept fighting and are better young men for it.” Cook, a Houston, MS, native, became a Christian at age 13. “It was Sept. 6, 1989, and I was at a friend’s (Michael Chandler) home,” Cook said.
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38 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
“Michael had been witnessing to me and the Holy Spirit spoke to me that night. I received Christ in Michael’s bedroom.” Cook played football and baseball at Houston and went out for football at Itawamba Community College. “I was a 5-foot-8, 155-pound quarterback and we had some Division I athletes on our team who went on to play in the NFL,” Cook said. “We were ranked third in the nation. I was a wishbone quarterback and didn’t come into it with a good attitude. I got discouraged and quit. It wasn’t the right decision. I use that decision and what I learned from it with my players today. Every day stands alone and you must make the best of each one of them. You must work hard and be competitive every day.” Cook left Itawamba and played baseball at Bevill State Community College in Alabama. He graduated from Delta State and got his first job at Jackson Prep in Flowood, coaching junior high football and assisting in high school baseball.
Every day stands alone and you must make the best of each one of them.You must work hard and be competitive every day. “I couldn’t have started in a better place,” Cook said. “(Prep head football coach) Ricky Black and (then Prep head baseball coach) Trey Bayliss were great to me and I learned a lot from them. We won the state football championship in 2002 and the state baseball championship in 2003.” Cook left Prep after three years and went to Mendenhall High School for two years, being an assistant football coach and head baseball coach. Then he went to Ridgeland High School for six years, being quarterback and offensive coordinator, golf coach for four years and assistant baseball for two years. “Coach Cook and I grew up together. He started at Ridgeland when I was in the seventh grade,” said Nick Johnson, who played football and baseball at Ridgeland, and now
Jason and Carrie are parents of Sam, Olivia, and Katie.
plays baseball for Southern Miss. “He always prayed after every practice and game and he was always there for us to talk about our faith and any problems we faced. He was and is an inspiration to me. He helped me along the way during my junior high and high school years and is a great man of God.” On Feb. 11, 2011, Cook was named the head football coach at Richland. “Richland was started in 1981 and probably hasn’t had but a handful of winning seasons and doesn’t have much tradition, but I felt the Lord was in it and He opened a door for me. I trusted Him that He would take care of everything,” Cook said. “Even though we hadn’t had a winning season in about 10 years, I knew we could make a difference.” Cook moved his family—wife, Carrie, and children, Katie, 7, Olivia, 5, and Sam, 2—to Richland to become a part of the community and joined First Baptist Church Richland. “During the two years when we didn’t win a game, Coach Cook never put us down and kept a positive attitude,” Richland senior offensivedefensive lineman Austin Pruitt said. “He has been a great influence on us. He is always telling us stories in the Bible to motivate us. I want to become a teacher and a coach and hope I can be like Coach Cook one day.” Y
Robert Wilson is Business Developer for BFAC. He is a freelance writer, author, and publisher. He is a member of Broadmoor Baptist Church. Contact him at Robert@bfac.com.
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➺salt & light by C. ROCHELLE CULP
FCA Student Athletes Carry the Cross ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲ his year Mission Mississippi is celebrating its 20th year anniversary. I had the privilege of attending the celebration luncheon. It was a very moving and spiritual event with great speakers and a wonderful audience. Executive Director, Neddie Winters, had the crowd in great anticipation as he made the big announcement of Mississippi Glowing for Christ. Mr. Winters explained how this event would continue the mission of Mission Mississippi by bringing Mississippians together for Christ. I was SOLD on the idea, I wanted to be involved. I was so fired up at that time; I was ready to walk all 82 counties. Later in the year, I attended The Fellowship of Christian Athletes Wild Game Luncheon. I learned at the luncheon that FCA members would be carrying the cross for the event and I thought to myself, “that would be a great story”! With the help of Kiel Higginbotham of FCA, featured are four awesome students that are participating in Mississippi Glowing for Christ by carrying the cross. On a daily basis as I work in tobacco prevention, I encounter students engaging in risky behaviors. These FCA members are champions at their school by living healthy lifestyles and promoting Christ. They pick up their cross and carry it daily! Join us at the walk finale at 5:00 p.m. on October 27th at Jackson State Veterans Memorial Stadium.
T
▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲ Several student athletes who participated in the event shared their thoughts with us at MCL. Nora Grace Davis is a graduate of Benton Academy, and a freshman at Hinds Community College where she is a cheerleader and a member of the Softball Team. I became involved in FCA at my high school, Benton Academy, in the seventh grade. My ninth grade year, I was asked to join the leadership team, and my senior year I was elected president. I am now on the leadership team at Hinds Community College where we are currently working on bringing an FCA huddle back to our campus. Throughout high school I was involved in many FCA events such as Fields of Faith and Nights of Worship. It was at these events that I got to know some FCA representatives and was given the opportunity to be a huddle group leader at the statewide FCA camp at Belhaven University this past summer. Even though I was leader, I am pretty sure I was moved by the Holy Spirit just as much as the campers were. I got to know many great people involved in the FCA organization and became very interested in doing more. I received a phone call from an FCA representative that I had gotten to know at camp. He told me they were doing the Mississippi Glowing for Christ, said they were short a few people and really needed someone 40 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
to help carry the cross five miles. So after a sixhour cheerleading practice, I grabbed two friends and we headed out on a two-hour drive to help carry the cross. When we arrived, I was asked, “Why do you want to carry the cross and what does carrying the cross mean to you?” I thought a lot about this. Christ has done so much for me, He is still doing so much for me, and He will continue doing many more things for me. The least I can do is stand up for Him by carrying a cross five miles. Seeing all the pictures of the kids carrying the cross, and hearing people talk about it, gives me hope and encouragement that there are kids of all ages that share a love for Christ and are willing to take a stand for Him. FCA is a great ministry and Mississippi Glowing for Christ is just one of many great events they have put together. If you are given the opportunity to help carry the cross, I strongly advise you to take that opportunity. It’s definitely a humbling experience that everyone should be involved in. I also encourage you, athlete or non-athlete, to get involved with FCA at your school and if your school does not have an FCA, to get one started. There are many FCA representatives in Mississippi that would love to help you get a huddle started.
▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲ Trenton Evers is a junior at Forest High School where he is the kicker for the Football Team. I am a proud member of my school’s Fellowship of Christian Athletes program. I was honored to be selected as an attendee of the Belhaven FCA camp this past summer. This
camp meant the world to me; it gave me the ability I have now to witness to my fellow athletes without being afraid. Also, it helped me give all my worries to God during any game I play. With Him, I know I am stronger than I am on my own. Every time I kick, I know God is right beside me, and that is the best feeling to have in a game. When I returned from camp, I wanted to help my school and team in any way that I could. Because of this, I decided I would help lead the FCA at my school, and in this way, I could show my school and community how happy I am with Jesus in me. I also try to encourage my fellow teammates in any way I can. However, I wanted to do more to serve God. He answered my prayer by allowing me the opportunity to publicly display my love for Him by carrying the cross through Scott County. Christ carried His cross to Calvary and gave His life to cleanse me of my sins. So while I carried that cross with my teammates, I realized how awesome Jesus is and how I should humble myself for Him. FCA, along with carrying the cross, has blessed my life and has made me realize I serve a Mighty God. I know through both of these opportunities, my relationship with Christ has been strengthened tremendously.
▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲ Duncan Maxwell is a junior at Jackson Academy. I had read about the cross being carried across Mississippi in the newspaper, but I didn’t really know much about the event until my coach called me the night before and asked me if I could represent my school and FCA in it. So between my two-a-day practices, I went down to the capitol building where another athlete and I presented the cross as a large crowd of people prayed and celebrated the kickoff of this event. We then, along with a crowd of people, took turns carrying the cross through the Jackson streets until we handed it off to another group of
people at the Hinds/Rankin County border. I really didn’t know what to expect going into the event as I barely knew anything about it and I had been asked on such short notice, but it turned out to be a truly inspiring event as I saw all these people so excited to witness for the Lord. It was awesome to see how the Lord had worked in all of their lives to produce this event—and how he was even working in mine just in the couple of hours I participated in it. The statewide head of Jackson FCA, Bill Buckner, called my school and asked them to select an athlete who could represent the school at the Mission Mississippi event, and I was fortunately selected. FCA made the most impact on my life when I was in junior high. My school would have regular meetings, and they would bring in speakers from all over the community to witness to us. Also we would spend time with older high school athletes who had a passion for FCA and who hoped to inspire us to grow up to be athletes for Christ. These meetings made a difference in my life because they instilled in me the idea that God gave me athletic ability not for my own glory, but for His, and it is my privilege to be able to glorify Him athletically and in all areas of my life.
▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲ Maurey Bland is a senior at Madison Central. I have been raised in the Church of Christ. For many years, I attended the East Roxie Church of Christ in Franklin County, under the leadership of my grandfather, Issac Tenner. When my mother lost her job at the International Paper mill, God led our family here to Madison. We immediately started worshipping at the Hanging Moss Road Church of Christ, under the leadership of Curtis Pittman. Five years later, a little small church in the heart of Flora— North Flora Church of Christ—was looking for a minister and song leaders. We followed a humble, up-and-coming preacher, Ralph Flowers. My dad and I dealt with the singing part of service from that point all the way to this very day. I have always had a passion for working with others. In middle school I was a part of the football team as a seventh grader. Todd Walker, my coach at that time, felt that I was good enough to hang with the “big boys.” He eventually moved me up to play eighth grade football. All through school, I made it a
priority to be involved in everything I could handle. In junior high, I faithfully attended FCA under Kim Sligh. There I was selected to be in the Student Government Association at Rosa Scott. One of my favorite principals, Ted Poore (now at Germantown), often allowed me to say the announcements over the loudspeaker. Working my way to the tenth grade, I was blessed to be able to serve in the SGA as vice president. At school, I also shared God‘s Word. Not many people wanted to hear it, but if you know me, I have always shared 2 Timothy 4:2 “Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching (NLT).” In middle school, my math teacher Mrs. JoJo Herring start calling me “Brother Bland”, preacher man” and other names. Outside of school, my neighborhood got a glimpse of the “preacher man.” In the Northbay subdivision of Madison, I held a “pool attending” job that allowed me to share the Gospel in the neighborhood. FCA has impacted my life in so many ways. FCA has built me up to lead my peers in a direction pleasing to God while letting my little light shine; being a house on a hill that just can not be hidden (Matt. 5:14-16). Carrying the cross will be a big deed to me. It’s not the fact that I’m doing all of it again, but the fact that the cross has already been carried by our Savior Jesus and besides, I hope Christians “carry the cross” everyday. My chains are gone I have been set free!!! This moment of my life, being able to write about my Christian experience is a great encouragement tool for everyone around me: other teens, my coaches, teammates and family. As an old-spirited, country boy like myself, who would have ever thought I would have this opportunity? I get emotional thinking about it. I can go on for days but, words will never describe how I feel about being featured in such a positive magazine as this. First, for this I give ALL my honor and praises to God. I would like to thank my parents and beloved grandparents whom mean so much to me: Issac and Nellie Mae Tenner, Frances, Eugene, and Stella, and god-grandparents, Ralph and BJ Flowers. My thanks will continue with Lester Walls, Bill Buckner (FCA Director), my North Flora church family, teammates, and coaches. Y
MISSISSIPPI GLOWING FOR CHRIST An 82 Day Journ ey & Ce l e bration
@MissionMS #MSGlowingforChrist facebook.com/mission.mississippi
S TAT E W I D E
CELEBRATION A N D WO R SH I P R A L LY After the 82 day journey through the State, the cross returns to Jackson
OCTOBER 27th 5:00PM Jackson State Veterans Memorial Stadium
Celebrating 20 years of racial reconciliation and healing! 50000 people from around the State have been touched by the journey of the cross, numeruous individuals have expressed a desire to know Christ as Savior and thousands will attend the rally. Join others, from across the State, for this once in a lifetime experience. FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC
www.missionmississippi.org 601.353.6477 grace@missionmississippi.org
C. Rochelle Culp is the owner of Ro-on-the-Go Health & Wellness Consultants and on staff at Fitness Lady Health Clubs, Inc. She is a member of the Today Show’s Joy Fit Club and club featured in The Joy Fit Club Cookbook, Diet Plan and Inspiration (published 2012). metrochristianliving.com ❘ OCTOBER 2013 41
➺whats going on
Palmer Home—A Century of Caring for Children
What is Palmer Home for Children?
educational testing to fully determine the academic level of each child. Children are placed in a classroom environment that will best facilitate their learning. Currently, we have children enrolled in public and private elementary and secondary schools. We also provide onsite education and tutoring to address various learning challenges. Children enrolled in college courses are coached through their postsecondary education, whether technical or academic. Every child’s learning experience is crafted with the goal of longterm success.
Palmer Home is a ministry to children in need; who, for any number of reasons, lack an adequate family structure. Since 1895, we have remained committed to helping children achieve their full God-given potential, however scarred or shattered their family background. Each child is received in a spirit of love, and we are committed to serving every aspect of his or her life. We long for healing and restoration. Over time, our children learn to overcome existing obstacles, build on valuable strengths and learn traditional family values.
What is the Mission? Palmer Home is a faith driven organization acting on the conviction that Christians have a special responsibility to care for orphans. Our work is to soften the hearts that have been hardened by grief, and create a place “Where Hope Still Grows.”
What does Palmer Home provide? Palmer Home provides residential care and foster care, as well as counseling and educational services, for as long as necessary including higher education opportunities.
What Makes Palmer Home Different? Palmer Home is faith based and provides its services free of charge to needy children and families without regard to race or creed. We are able to serve individual children as well as large sibling groups. Palmer Home provides a family and a community to children in need regardless of race or gender.
How is Palmer Home Structured? Palmer Home, a non-profit organization, is governed by a board of directors. We are completely privately funded, and supported by those who believe in our mission. We do not accept government funding. There are over two-dozen houseparents caring for up to 100 children at a given time. A staff of nearly 50 manages and maintains the organization, oversees the wellbeing of the children and manages two campuses.
How does Palmer Home Care for the children? What makes Palmer Home for Children special is our commitment to every aspect of a child’s life. We recognize that every child is created in God’s image and therefore no dimension of their being is without value, dignity, and purpose. We believe every part of a child’s life is connected. 42 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
October 24th, 2013
6:30 PM - 10:00 PM
THE SOUTH 627 East Silas Brown
Jackson, Mississippi
For tickets, sponsorships, and more information call Palmer Home at: 662-328-5704 or visit: palmerhome.org The Whole Child Initiative is a thoughtful approach to serving our children in four important areas:
1. Emotional Healing Palmer Home for Children’s counseling staff offers trauma informed care and understands the impact of trauma to the development of children. Abandonment, neglect, and other forms of trauma can hinder the development and emotional health of a child. Palmer Home provides services and programs that support healing specific to these needs. 2. Educational Support Palmer Home for Children provides
3. Physical Development Understanding the various physical needs of our children allows Palmer Home to quickly give attention where it is needed most. Meeting the physical needs can range from the simplest of things, shoes that fit so they can run and play in the grass, to the more complex needs—healthy diet, exercise, dental and medical treatment. At Palmer Home, it starts with a home; providing a bed, clothing, and a place to sit at the dining room table. 4. Spiritual Growth Spiritual growth for our children begins with our houseparents who serve as mentors and teachers. Our children hear the simple story of the Gospel and are led to develop the traits God desires: honesty, humility, kindness, courage, loyalty, determination, and love. Our children attend church with their family, pray together, participate in Bible studies and belong to various youth programs. Even though our children are served by those who support our mission, they also learn the value of serving others with their time and talents.
How do Palmer Home children transition to Independence? Palmer Home strives to help each child shape a positive path for his or her future. Leaving Palmer Home is an eventual step that is challenging and exciting. To make this transition successful, we outline a plan for college, vocational school, or the work place, and coach them through the transition. Our commitment to their success extends beyond the time in our care. As our children begin to assume new responsibilities, we are never too far away. Wherever they go, they will always have what every young adult needs—a place to call home. Y
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➺rave reviews BOOK
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Hope Carr Art Inspired
“I know My sheep and My sheep know Me” John 10:14
Inspired Art
Notecards & Prints available For a complete selection of images, contact Hope Carr.
Hope Carr (662) 746-1684 44 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
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If you’ve ever wanted to help a hurting friend but weren’t sure how, then Hopelifter by Kathe Wunnenberg is the book for you. Perhaps you’d like to go further and organize more people to support those in need. Either way, this book will help you get started. Wunnenberg begins with her own story, telling how God led her to take hurting women on day retreats. Though she looks at the topic of hope more deeply, the basis for all hope comes from Jesus Himself. Prayer undergirds everything the book offers, whether intercessory prayer for others or being sure you have prayer support yourself as a leader. Both are important components of hope lifting. We can’t do it alone. The last section of the book offers “recipes of hope.” These one page stories tell about a specific struggle and include a creative way to reach out to someone with the same challenge. The author invited many different people to contribute, so you hear from those who have been part of the various situations. Another bonus in the book is the index of websites for helpful organizations. Sometimes the best support comes from knowing where to look for more help. Wunnenberg also supplies an extensive list of helpful Scriptures to have available to share. You could use the discussion guide to lead others into ministry or for personal study. Hopelifter gives plenty of practical and creative information to help share God’s love and care with those who need it. Y Susan E. Richardson is a writer, critique reader, and former Christian retailer with a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word. You can reach her through her website www.nextlevelcritiques.com.
events calendar October 18-23 Friends of the Library Fall Book Sale. Shop for gently used hardbacks and paperbacks in every genre. Ridgeland Library hours are 9:00 a.m.-6:00 p.m. weekdays. 397 Hwy 51 N. 601.856.4536.
October 19 Mississippi Run to Remember. 3:00 p.m. The 5K run/walk remembers law enforcement officers who have fallen in the line of duty. Proceeds donated to the MS Law Enforcement Officer’s Memorial Fund. Pre-register at www.racesonline.com.
October 23 Mayor’s Fun Walk begins at Ridgeland Recreational Center 137 Old Trace Park at 9:00 a.m. Call 601.856.6876 for more information.
register online or day of. See details at www.cmdss.org/buddy-walk.
speakers Pat Morley and Barbara Skinner. See www.missionmississippi.com for details.
October 18
FLOWOOD
Holiday Potpourri, First Presbyterian Day School’s annual fundraiser, takes place from 9:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m. at the home of Linda and Wirt Yerger in Ridgeland. Silent auction, bake sale, Garden & Gift Gallery. Outstanding food. A fall tradition. 601.355.1731 or www.holidaypotpourri.org for details.
October 26
October 24 First Baptist Church, Jackson and Summit Counseling present Surviving! A Lifeline for Caregivers. From 8:00 a.m.-3:30 p.m., the informative seminar is designed for Caregivers, Therapists, and Social Workers. Visit www.summitfirst.org or 601.949.1949 to reserve a spot of for more.
October 27 October 31 Trunk or Treat sponsored by the Ridgeland Recreation and Parks Department. 6:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m. at Freedom Ridge Park. Children can go trick or treating from car to car where volunteers have filled their trunks with candy and prices. Games, train rides, face painting, and more. 601.853.2011.
Mission Mississippi Annual Reconciliation Banquet and Worship Celebration. Jackson State Veterans Memorial Stadium. 5:00 p.m. 20th Anniversary of Mission MS featuring
Halloween Weekend Fun for Everyone at the Flowood YNCA, 690 Liberty Road. 5K run/5K walk/1 mile fun run. Fun begins at 8:00 a.m. Registration online at active.com or register at event. Call 601.664.1955 or visit www.metroymcams.org.
MADISON October 5 Chapel of the Cross at 674 Mannsdale Road celebrates its 34th annual “Day in the Country.� 5K, arts and crafts, food, family activities. 9:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. Visit www.chapelofthecross.org for details.
October 24 The Center for Pregnancy Choices holds its annual fund raising banquet at Broadmoor Baptist Church at 1531 Highland Colony Parkway at 7:00 p.m. Keynote address by Chet McDoniel. Complimentary dinner but reservations required. Email cpcmetro@comcast.net or 601.713.2322.
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JACKSON October 9-25 A Pumpkin Adventure! MS Agricultural and Forestry Museum Wednesdays-Friday 9:00 a.m.-noon. Hayride, children’s activities and visit the pumpkin patch to pick your own pumpkin.
The earth in your dirt crawl space is the major source of moisture in your home! This moisture is carried up into your house from [OL UH[\YHS \W^HYK HPY Ă…V^ JYLH[LK MYVT YPZPUN OLH[ The CleanSpaceÂŽ Crawl Space Encapsulation System is the answer!
October 12 Central MS Down Syndrome Society Buddy Walk + 5K. MS Agricultural and Forestry Museum 1150 Lakeland Drive. 8:00 am. -2:00 p.m. Activities for the whole family. Entertainment, food, team photos. Pre-
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OCTOBER 2013
RIDGELAND
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➺quips & quotes
ADVERTISER INDEX
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Cut out the scriptures and quotes and place them around your home for daily encouragement!
✂
Ministering, as opportunity surrounds us, does not mean selecting our surroundings. It means being very selectively God’s in any haphazard surroundings He engineers for us. The characteristics we manifest in our immediate surroundings are indications of what we will be like in other surroundings.
He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. – Proverbs 14:29
– Oswald Chambers
Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Spiritual maturity is a journey, not a destination. A growing relationship with God should be your highest priority.
But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.
– Anonymous
He makes us wait. He keeps us in the dark on purpose. He makes us walk when we want to run, sit still when we want to walk, for he has things to do in our souls that we are not interested in. – Elisabeth Elliot
– Isaiah 40:31
When things are going bad that does not mean God has stopped doing good. It means He is shifting things around to get them in place for more good…He works all things together for good for those who love Him. – Paula Rinehart
Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; They neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. – James 4:8
– Matthew 6:25-26
Cancer can take away all of my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul.
At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.
– Jim Valvano
NORTH STATE
ANIMAL & BIRD HOSPITAL 5208 North State Street • Jackson, MS 39206
Dr. Jeb Cade Dr. Adrian Whittington Dr. Jonathan Faulkner Dr. Melisa McLendon OFFICE HOURS: Monday-Friday: 7:30 am - 6:00 pm Saturday: 8:00 am - 12:00 pm Sunday: Boarding only 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
601-982-8261 Boarding & Grooming Services Available
46 OCTOBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living
– Barbara Bush
Always seek out the seed of triumph in every adversity. – Og Mandino
ADVERTISER
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Apple Annie’s Gift Shop...........................................29 Autism Spectrum Centers of Mississippi ................12 Baptist Health Systems.............................................15 Behavioral Health Specialists, Dr. Danny Daniel.....44 Belhaven University.....................................................5 Blue Cross Blue Shield of Mississippi......................21 Callaway’s Yard & Garden ........................................19 C Spire .........................................................................3 Center for Pregnancy Choices.................................33 Christ Covenant School............................................35 Christian Leaders of the Future Ad.........................47 Covenant Caregivers ................................................11 Dogwood Vision Care ..............................................16 Dore USA...................................................................26 East Lakeland Ob-Gyn Associates, PA....................27 Energy Insulation/Clean Space................................45 EyeCare Professionals.................................................2 FPDS Holiday Potpourri ...........................................37 Fresh Cut Catering & Floral .....................................39 Gamblin Orthodontics..............................................20 GI Associates.............................................................17 Goodwill Select Store...............................................23 Grantham Poole Certified Public Accountants ......37 Health Care Medical.................................................23 Highland Village........................................................33 Home Instead Senior Care.......................................44 Hope Carr Art ...........................................................44 Jackson Academy .......................................................2 Jackson Center for Smiles........................................10 Jackson Heart............................................................33 Jackson Preparatory School.....................................29 Law Firm of William B. Howell, Ltd. ........................43 Maine’s Best Kept Secret .........................................18 Methodist Rehabilitation Center .............................21 Miskelly Furniture......................................................14 Mission Mississippi....................................................41 Mississippi Air Express..............................................35 Mississippi Breast Center, Dr. Phillip Ley.................17 MWG Senior Services.................................................8 Neblett’s Frame Outlets, Inc....................................39 N. State Animal Hospital..........................................46 Palmer Home for Children.......................................37 Peggy Keady, Glimpses of Glory.............................28 Pennington & Trim Alarm Services, Inc...................19 Private Collection......................................................34 Ray’s Fine Linens .......................................................35 Reformed Theological Seminary .............................45 Sitters, LLC ................................................................35 Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company....29 St. Catherine’s Village...............................................13 St. Dominic’s..............................................................48 St. Dominic’s, Dr. Gordon Lyons..............................32 Summit Counseling...................................................18 Sunnybrook Estates ..................................................31 The Waterford...........................................................20 Tinnin Imports..............................................................7 The Orchard ..............................................................37 The Veritas School ....................................................44 Transformations River Oaks........................................9 Venable Glass Company ..........................................31 WHJT Star 93.5.........................................................27 Wright & Ferguson Funeral Home..........................33 Written in Stone, LLC ...............................................31
WE ARE LOOKING FOR CHRISTIAN STUDENTS
WHO WALK IN FAITH, HONOR THE LORD, AND LEAD WITH INTEGRITY.
CHRISTIAN LEADERS OF THE FUTURE is an opportunity for high school seniors to share their story of faith and leadership and receive a scholarship toward their college tuition. Applications and instructions are available at www.metrochristianliving. com or through your school counselor. Visit Christian Leaders of the Future on Facebook for updates! Deadline for applications is December 6, 2013. SCAN THIS QR CODE OR TEXT CLF TO 601.990.4032 TO STAY INFORMED AND GET UPDATES!
APPLICATIONS MUST BE RECEIVED BY DECEMBER 6, 2013 For More Information contact: Metro Christian Living | 601-790-9076 or Marilyn@metrochristianliving.com
sponsored by:
Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company
DRIVE TO INSPIRE
For more information about our cancer services and women’s services visit stdom.com. Contact the CENTER FOR WOMEN’S HEALTH at 601.200.8000 to schedule your mammogram. Remember, early detection is key.