HEALTHY FAMILY

It is estimated that between 10% and 50% of children between 3 and 5 years old have nightmares severe enough to disturb their parents, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. No More Nightmares

Learn how to keep nightmares at bay and ensure a good night’s sleep for all

BY LISA B. SAMALONIS

Late in the night the cries rouse me from a deep sleep. The howling comes from my youngest son’s room. I roll out of bed, trudge down the hallway and open his door. He is sitting up in bed, wide-eyed, tears slipping down his flushed cheeks. I sit on the edge of his bed, gather him into my arms and stroke his damp head. I reassure him and his cries eventually subside, turning into deep sighs. “You’re OK,” I say. “It was just a bad dream and it’s over now.”

He nods and snuggles closer. After a few minutes I flip the pillow over to the “good dream side.” He takes his lovies — Pat the Bunny and Bear, one in each hand — and lies down, and I rub his back and say, “You can all go back to sleep now.”

My son’s experience with nightmares is common in kids. About 75% of children remember having at least one nightmare during childhood, and it is estimated that between 10% and 50% of children between 3- and 5-years old have nightmares severe enough to disturb their parents, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine.

The Stress Factor

While the cause of bad dreams is unknown, research indicates they may be associated with particularly stressful situations, such as an accident or a natural disaster, or everyday stressors common to children. Causes can also include life changes, like starting a new school or moving.

“Some children can also be affected by scary books, shows or movies, especially close to bedtime. But bad dreams can also happen without an obvious cause and can be considered part of typical development. They may actually be a way for kids to work through stressful feelings,” explains Johanna Carpenter, a pediatric psychologist with Nemours Children’s Health System in Wilmington, Delaware. “Some research has suggested that bad dreams might even help people to cope with stress and perhaps even feel less fearful about a particular situation.”

Although nightmares can happen at any age, they are more prevalent from the preschool period through age 10. Hallmarks of a sleeping child who is having a nightmare include the child seeking comfort and showing signs of being awake, such as making sense when speaking, having their eyes open or responding in a typical way. Because children frequently remember their nightmares, caregivers should comfort and soothe them after one, Carpenter says.

She notes that night terrors (or sleep terrors) are a cousin of sleep-walking and are not related to bad dreams. Rather, night terrors are parasomnia, a sleep disorder which includes various non-sleeping behaviors that occur during sleep, with insufficient sleep being a primary cause. As opposed to nightmares, which tend to occur during the last third of the night during REM sleep, night terrors occur during the earlier part of the night during deep non-REM sleep.

Nightmare Prevention

Carpenter offers the following strategies to help children shake off their bad dreams — or avoid them altogether: • Get good sleep. Children are more likely to have nightmares when they don’t get enough sleep. Healthy sleep habits include a consistent bedtime and wake-up times (on the weekends, too), and a regular bedtime routine that includes calming activities, and ends with the child climbing into bed. • Talk it out. “It’s a good idea to talk about bad dreams the next morning; talking about bad dreams in the light of day can take away some of their

power,” Carpenter says. “Although bad dreams may not mean anything and often are not a sign of particular stress or a problem, caregivers can check in with children about frequent bad dreams and ask if anything is bothering them.” • Reimagine a bad dream. Try to reshape a nightmare to make it funny/silly (like a monster turns into an ice cream sundae) or empowering (like the child uses a spell to grow wings and flies to safety). Afterward, caregivers can discuss the new and improved dream with the child or give the child an opportunity to write it down or draw it so that the non-threatening version becomes more concrete.

• Or imagine a new dream. Caregivers and children can make up a good dream they would like to have to get the nightmares out of their heads. • Get creative. Use your imagination to provide reassurance and combat a specific fear a child might have. For example, caregivers might explain that monsters are not real, but there is still

“Monster Spray” that they can spray (a mixture of water, food coloring and perhaps essential oils) around the child’s room.

• Get a consultation. Talk with the child’s primary care physician or mental health professional if nightmares persist long after an identified trauma or if nightmares are extremely distressing, repetitive and frequent.

Resuming Slumber

Reassurance in a sympathetic, firm and brief manner goes a long way to getting the child back to sleep. Staying with the child for a few minutes after the nightmare and using security objects can help, as can agreeing to leave a dim hallway or closet light on, according to Carpenter.

She cautions that for children who have been sleeping in their own beds, caregivers may inadvertently “undo” the independent sleep behavior if they allow children to sleep in the caregivers’ bed after a nightmare.

“This can accidentally send the message to children that it isn’t a good idea to go back to bed and/or they probably cannot handle returning to their own bed, and over time, this can become a habit that can be tricky to break,” she says.

To encourage a child to return to bed, institute a reward system with a small prize given in the morning, such as a breakfast treat or other privilege like screen time. T

Lisa B. Samalonis writes from Gloucester Township, New Jersey.