Laugh it away

A lady riding a two wheeler was hit down by an autorickshaw. As she was lying apparently unconscious, the autorickshaw driver and a few persons who assembled on the scene arranged to take her to a hospital. One of them called the police station. He was heard telling the police :”She must be about thirty five”. Suddenly the accident victim raised her head and said : “No, I’m only twenty seven please”. A board displayed by a bank seen near the entrance of a shopping mall read thus : YOUR CREDIT CARD LIMIT IS EXHAUSTED? BANK ACCOUNT DOESN’T HAVE FUNDS FOR DEBIT CARD? DON’T WORRY. JUST VISIT OUR COUNTER IN THE FIRST FLOOR AND AVAIL AN INSTANT LOAN OF UPTO RS.2 LAKHS. ABSOLUTELY NO DOCUMENTS REQUIRED. DON’T HESITATE. JUST STEP IN. The payment receipt of the new multi-specialty hospital which adopted several innovative measures had a box item at the bottom which read thus : “If you are satisfied with our services, please tell your relatives and friends. Hope to see you again and again and also your relatives and friends in large numbers”. -Public Relations Officer. A student tells his teacher : “ I got no pencils.” She corrects him immediately. “The correct way to say it is : “I don’t have any pencils,” “You don’t have any pencils,” “He doesn’t have any pencils,” “We don’t have any pencils” and “They don’t have any pencils.” Did you understand?” “No,” the boy answered, astonished. “What happened to all the pencils, teacher?” Three-year-old Pratibha was getting ready to go to a theatre to watch a movie. Since she was never taken to a theatre before, she was curious to know what it looked like. Her parents explained to her that unlike a TV, there would be a big screen and hundreds of people would be watching the film inside a dark hall. She nodded thoughtfully, but still puzzled, asked, “But who will be holding the remote?”