Health and well drinks
RAT RACE A portrait of the author off the Wheel.
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f I have my Physics 101 correct, matter and energy can neither be created nor destroyed, though one can be transformed into the other. This, I assume, is the secret to weight loss—converting matter into energy without adding more matter in the meantime. And by matter, I’m referring specifically to Berkeley’s Squabisch Pretzels—with admiration and fear … for my waistline. Early in my career I did some time in Hollywood, which A) contributed to a lifelong anxiety about getting chunkier and B) meant I was pitched stories like the one about a guy whose life insurance company sends him on a medical exam, only for him to be told he’s “totaled” and get cashed out of his policy. At
Jeffrey Edalatpour’s writing about arts, food and culture has appeared in KQED Arts, Metro Silicon Valley, Interview Magazine, The Rumpus, SF Weekly and Berkeleyside.com.
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PHOTO BY DAVE ALEXANDER
Gravitas Gravitas various points in my life this could have been me. After I misconstrued a panic attack as a cardiac event, a subsequent EKG proved I was physically healthier than I thought, though mentally not so much. Now that I’m squarely middle-aged—I turn 50 this July, and we humans live to be 100, right?—I’m happy not to have totaled myself, though I would be lying if I didn’t admit to enjoying the various attempts over the years. Journos of my type are generally de facto epicures, what with all the good grub and booze that flows our way on the job. I am, as a certain Irish scribe once put, a drinker with a writing problem. And I’m fending off a weight problem. Hence, the Desk Cycle, an
Lou Fancher has been published in the Diablo Magazine, the Oakland Tribune, InDance, San Francisco Classical Voice, SF Weekly, WIRED.com and elsewhere.
EAST BAY MAGAZINE | EASTBAYMAG.COM | MARCH/APRIL 2022
Mark Fernquest is a copy editor and writer. He travels and gardens in his free time.
under-the-desk pedaling machine that is essentially a human rat wheel. By and large it works, especially when paired with the calorie tracker on my phone. If I indulge too much, I’m on the Wheel. If I even think about indulging too much, I’m on the Wheel. Suffice to say, I’m always on the Wheel. And that’s just to maintain a silhouette that doesn’t get confused with an eclipse. Basically, my strategy is “don’t get rounder.” Or, “Be one with the Wheel, don’t become the Wheel.” Be assured this is an issue brimming with insights on area-inspired healthand-wellness notions, with just a splash of distilled-spirits writing to prove we still have our priorities straight—no chaser. —Daedalus Howell, Editor
Brooke Herron When not working on digital marketing and sales strategy projects for clients, Herron can be found hiking Sonoma, Marin and Mendocino trails, and tasting wines for one of her various business ventures.
Michael Giotis contributes to the Pacific Sun, the North Bay Bohemian and the East Bay Express. His most recent book of poetry is Daybreak.
