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A Christmas Crisis of Conscience p9 FRED CURCHACK RETURNS P12 NYE MUSIC P16 PRESS PASS P18
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Cover design by Tabi Zarrinnaal. NORTH BAY BOHEMIAN [ISSN 1532-0154] (incorporating the Sonoma County Independent) is published weekly, on Wednesdays, by Metrosa Inc., located at: 847 Fifth St., Santa Rosa, CA 95404. Phone: 707.527.1200; fax: 707.527.1288; e-mail: editor@bohemian.com. It is a legally adjudicated publication of the county of Sonoma by Superior Court of California decree No. 119483. Member: Association of Alternative Newsweeklies, National Newspaper Association, California Newspaper Publishers Association, Verified Audit Circulation. Subscriptions (per year): Sonoma County $75; out-of-county $90. Thirdclass postage paid at Santa Rosa, CA. FREE DISTRIBUTION: The BOHEMIAN is available free of charge at numerous locations, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for one dollar, payable in advance at The BOHEMIAN’s office. The BOHEMIAN may be distributed only by its authorized distributors. No person may, without permission of the publisher, take more than one copy of each issue.The BOHEMIAN is printed on 40 % recycled paper.
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SANTA TALK Bay Area native and political comedian W. Kamau Bell offers his thoughts on holiday traditions.
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Rejoice for Rialto Always loved Rialto Cinemas’ (“Screen the World,” Dec. 18) movie choices and great popcorn. Enjoy the wine, too! Great place.
DEANNA HELM
Via bohemian.com
Well, I am so grateful for both the Rialto and the Summerfield and that they always have the best movies.
Unfortunately, I live in Petaluma. I thought I read one time that the Boulevard promised it would save one of its theaters to show art movies. If it did make that promise it didn’t keep that promise. For years now the movies I want to see are at the Rialto and the Summerfield and not at the Boulevard. Darn.
THIS MODERN WORLD
RICHARD ALLEN Petaluma
Moscow Mitch There is no greater impediment to the American democratic system and the Constitution than this administration’s staunchest “supporter”—“Moscow” Mitch McConnell (R-Ky). He has re-written custom and convention to thwart the process of government and the will of the people. Rather than using the moniker, “the Grim Reaper,” I would replace this with, “the Grinch.” Even
By Tom Tomorrow
further back than before 2016, when the Obama administration reportedly proposed a bipartisan warning to the American public that Russia was attempting to interfere in the presidential election to help Donald Trump. McConnell refused, keeping the public in the dark as Trump narrowly won the White House. Perhaps, America should look to the Senate for Russian collusion.
GARY SCIFORD
Santa Rosa
Acid Flashback Fantastic! (“It’s Acid, Charlie Brown!,” Dec. 11) I laughed out loud a lot. … Ah, the memories. Thanks for the flashback fun.
ELISABETH M.
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ART HOUSE
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SCREEN SCENE Sebastopolbased Rialto Cinemas is planning a yearlong celebration in 2020 for its 20th anniversary.
Rants
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An ode to the impeachment of Donald J. Trump BY LESLIE SHERIDAN Silent Day! Scheming Night! The GOP, in self-made plight Round impeachment of “Chosen” Child Their own infant, evil and reviled, Lies of Ukraine he fleeced, Lies of Ukraine he fleeced, Silent Day! Scheming Night! Liars quake in great fright, Lost elections due to their czar His sycophants sing: “Alleluia!” Constitution is torn! Constitution is torn! Silent Day! Scheming Night! Any morals, not in sight, Selling their souls to win their next race, Of a conscience, you’ll find no trace, Constitution, no worth! Constitution, no worth! Silent Day! Scheming Night! But Dems rise up to indict, For the people they will bring Impeachment of would-be King Democracy is reborn! Democracy is reborn! Leslie Sheridan is a lifelong activist and poet who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 350 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.
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Silent Night
Paper THE
NEW HOMES This year California lawmakers passed a wide range of laws meant to ease the state’s housing crisis.
Rental Rules
Housing laws start in new year BY WILL CARRUTHERS
A
t the start of the new year, a mass of new state housing laws will kick in. Whether you rent or own in the North Bay, here are some of the new rules you should know about.
Rent Control Lite Assembly Bill 1482, formally
known as the Tenant Protection Act of 2019, includes an annual rent cap and various tenant aprotections. It was passed in October as a compromise between renters and landlords after several years of increasingly high-profile political skirmishes between the groups across the state. Ultimately, no one seems perfectly happy with AB 1482.
Tenants’ advocates say it’s too weak and landlords tend to cringe at any restrictions of their profits. The bill goes into effect on Jan. 1, 2020 and lasts through Jan. 1, 2030. Notably, the bill’s author, San Francisco Assemblymember David Chiu, calls the new limit a rent cap, not rent control. AB 1482 does cover more properties than were previously
Tom Gogola
NORTH BAY BOH EMI A N | DEC E M BE R 25-3 1 , 20 19 | BO H E M I AN.COM
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covered, but there are still some sizable holes in this bill. Here are some, but not all, of the people who are not covered by AB 1482: • Homes built in the past 15 years, determined on a rolling basis, including accessory dwelling units, also known as granny units. • A duplex in which the owner occupies one of the units from the start of the rental agreement. • Condos and single-family homes, unless they are owned by a corporation, a shell company owned by a corporation or a real estate investment trust. If you are covered, the law sets an annual limit on rent increases at 5 percent plus the increase in the cost of living or 10 percent, whichever number is lower.
The law sets an annual limit on rent increases at 5 percent plus the increase in the cost of living or 10 percent, whichever number is lower. Between April 2018 and April 2019, the cost of living rose by 3.3 percent across much of the state, according to the California Department of Industrial Relations. Under AB 1482, that means a landlord covered by the law could increase rent by 8.3 percent this year on units covered by the law. AB 1482 also extends “just
Bay Area Central Finance Authority Another bill by Assemblymember Chiu, AB 1487, the San Francisco Bay Area Regional Housing Finance Act, empowers two existing regional bodies—the Metropolitan Transportation Commission (MTC) and the Association of Bay Area Governments (ABAG)—to put forward regional ballot initiatives to raise funds for housing and transportation projects.
In the past, that work has been done regionally, leading to differing patterns of development and land use across the Bay Area. At its core, this is the latest skirmish in the Bay Area’s war over “local control” of housing policy decisions. Under the current system, cities and counties are increasingly asking voters to consider affordable housing bonds at the ballot box. One case played out last November in Santa Rosa when voters rejected a $124 million affordable housing bond. The original idea, in the form of a countywide housing bond, was shot down by business interests including the Sonoma County Farm Bureau, which called the proposed funding mechanism “another tax on agriculture.” While the Santa Rosa ballot measure was ultimately doomed by its flaws—opponents said the bond’s language lacked adequate compensation and protections for construction workers—the debate
highlighted competing local political interests. Under the new law, the regional housing finance authority, which will be governed by the existing boards of ABAG and MTC, will be able to propose similar housing bonds on a regional level and then disperse the funds throughout the region. “A regional approach is crucial to tackling our housing crisis in the Bay Area,” Chiu told the San Mateo Daily Journal in September. “Our challenges are inextricably linked across our region, and we need to tackle them together.”
Other laws In an effort to increase housing stock across the state, state politicians penned numerous other laws intended to boost housing production and protect vulnerable tenants. We cover a few here. • The Housing Crisis Act of 2019 (SB 330): Written by State Senator Nancy Skinner,
this law would make local governments green light certain housing developments if they meet criteria laid out in the bill. It also caps the number of public meetings about an individual proposal at five. • Source of Income Protection (SB 329): This bill bars landlords from choosing not to rent to prospective tenants solely because they use Housing Choice Vouchers, the government benefits for lowincome renters. • Easier ADUs (AB 68 and 69): These two bills, written by Assemblymember Phil Ting, alter the rules concerning the size of, and locations where Accessory Dwelling Units (ADUs) can be built. These small, separated units, sometimes known as granny units, are thought to be a way suburban regions can increase housing density and affordability without building upwards.
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cause” eviction protections to tenants covered by the bill. A landlord can now only legally evict a tenant for the following reasons: falling behind on rent, breaching the terms of the lease or committing a criminal act on the property. Note: This is by no means a comprehensive guide to the new law. Please do your own research on the new rules or contact an advocacy organization if you have further questions.
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closed Christmas Day and New Year’s Day, unless noted.
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YEAR OF THE HORSE A new year, the same as the old year—except for that vintage date.
Bubbles Up We’ll take a flute of kindness yet BY JAMES KNIGHT
W
e Bohemians get together at the end of each year to compare notes on a flight of sparkling wines chosen to fit a theme—however loosely. This year, we’re going to party like it’s 1919, the New Year’s Eve before Prohibition took effect.
VOTE MOMBO'S BEST PIZZA www.bohemian.com
In the Roaring Twenties, picking up a celebratory bottle wasn’t so easy. Somewhat similarly, these limited-production sparkling wines are best obtained by making a special trip to the winery, in the holiday week leading up to New Year’s Eve. Loose premise? It’s all we got—get in the motorcar and get your bubbly on. Wineries are
for fizzy fans, this delivers energetic bubbles, but has a serious side, with notes of long-aged lees; lemon meringue on the brisk (but not bitter) palate. While their Carneros Rouge ($55) didn’t score as highly with Bohemians, we found the mix of red-wine-cask and fruit-punch notes intriguing. 1091 Larkmead Lane, Calistoga. Dec. 26–30, 10am to 5pm; Dec. 31, to 2pm. Inman Family 2015 Russian River Valley Extra Brut Luxe Cuvée ($78): Open this elegant sparkler
early, to allow time to appreciate the tension between warmth and austerity; scents of lemon blossom, English tea biscuit and yeast flakes; with a dry finish. 3900 Piner Rd., Santa Rosa. Dec. 27–30, 11am to 4pm. Harvest Moon 2017 Russian River Valley Sparkling Chardonnay ($42): Serious fans
of ultra-brut grower Champagne should “get” this dry blanc de blancs, which shows hints of grapefruit rind and nutty lees. Also consider their 2017 Sparkling Gewürztraminer ($36), a surprisingly dry, spicy sparkler with honeysuckle notes. Start a holiday meal with the raspberry red, black peppery 2016 Sparkling Zinfandel ($42). 2192 Olivet Rd., Santa Rosa. Dec. 26–31, 10am to 5pm; open at noon New Year’s Day. Korbel 2016 Master’s Reserve Blanc de Noirs Sonoma County Champagne ($30): Raspberry
and nectarine notes made this full-bodied, limited Korbel release a hit with Bohemians, although we wished for a perkier mousse. Maybe next year. 13250 River Rd., Guerneville. 10am to 4:30pm.
9 NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 25-31 , 2019 | BOH EMI A N.COM
Believe It, Or Not Grappling with Santa in the 21st century BY DAVID TEMPLETON
B
elief in Santa Claus, like many an American’s belief in functional democracy and fair elections, almost never lasts forever. And yet, given differences in culture, religion and individual parenting choices, not every kid in the country grows up believing in the magical man with the flying reindeer.
But it’s safe to say that a large number of children do. And for the vast majority of them, there comes a time when their faith in Santa either gently fades as their cognitive awareness and critical thinking expands, is yanked away rudely by some bubble-popping sibling or playground pal or is traumatically shattered by the sudden realization that they’ve been lied to. Personally, as someone who stopped believing at the age of 4 (my parents were egregiously
sloppy with Santa-details, wrapping paper and Christmasmorning protocols), I’ve long been interested in when and how different children reach the end of their faith in Kris Kringle’s existence. I’ve spent years collecting stories of people’s own moments of Santa Truth Awareness. As a journalist, I frequently have the opportunity to toss in the question, “How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa Claus?”
Here are three of my favorite Santa Truth stories from the last several months: Author, comic and television host W. Kamau Bell told me during a moment at the 2018 Wine Country Spoken Word Festival that he never technically believed in Santa. “My mom didn’t encourage me to grow up believing in Santa Claus,” Bell said. “I knew there was this thing out there, but I never connected that ) 10
10 Believe It, Or Not ( 9 NORTH BAY BOH E MI A N | DEC E M BE R 25-3 1 , 20 19 | BO H E M I AN.COM
Hue12 Photography
BREAK TIME From ’tis to ’twas in two sips.
person to someone bringing me toys. So, my first memory of that specific version of Santa Claus was at a school event where they were taking kids to see Santa Claus. And I remember very specifically all the kids going in a room to meet Santa Claus, and me being led to … another room.” Bell’s mother had sent a note, instructing her son to be excused from all Santa-related activities, including being forced to sit on a bearded-stranger’s lap. “Part of that was, she remembered how painful it was, for her, when she found out there was no Santa Claus,” Bell said. “It was like, for my mom, that was the moment childhood left her. And she was like, ‘I don’t want to do that to my own kid.’ But she never
explained any of that to me. “We just didn’t ever talk about Santa Claus in my house. So that day, when I was sent to this one room and all the other kids went to see this guy in red with a big beard, I was sort of confused about the whole thing. I was thinking, ’Why are they going in that room to talk to that guy, and I’m in here by myself with the teacher?’” He estimates he was between 6 and 8 years old at the time. Megan Westberg, the editor of Strings Magazine, estimated she was around 9 or 10. “Oh, I definitely remember when I stopped believing—I walked up to my mom, who was sitting there doing something, and I said, ‘You know Mom, a lot
of kids do not believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I do, because you wouldn’t lie to me … right?’” Westberg said. “I know, I’m the worst. And she turned around and said, ‘Oh boy. Megan, I’m sorry to tell you, but no, there is no Santa Claus.’ And apparently what I said was, ‘Well, I guess that’s bad news for the Tooth Fairy.’” Actor Denis O’Hare, probably best known as the Vampire King Russell Edgington on HBO’s True Blood, was fuzzier on how he came to stop believing. “But I did grow up believing in Santa Claus,” he acknowledged, during a post-show reception following a Mill Valley Film Festival screening of his film The Parting Glass. Directed by Stephen Moyer and featuring
Anna Paquin (both of whom appeared in Tru Blood), the film was written by and stars O’Hare, who based the screenplay on his family’s story of dealing with the suicide of their youngest sister. “I remember being 5 years old, with my brother in the bunk bed,” he said. “Every year, on Christmas Eve, I climbed up into his bunk bed so I could look out at the roof and hopefully see the reindeer landing. I remember waiting and waiting—I’d always fall asleep before they landed. And then people would say, ‘Oh, you missed it!’” Though he didn’t remember the moment he stopped believing, he recalled that his younger sister continued believing for some time. “We all colluded to keep her
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believing as long as we could, as a family unit.” “My son is 7,” O’Hare said. “He asked me point blank, about five months ago … ‘Is Santa Claus real? Just tell me the truth.’ And I said, ‘No, he’s not real.’ He said, ‘Okay,’ but then, about two weeks ago, he was suddenly kind of like, ‘So, will Santa still bring me a gift if I want?’ So I’m not sure what he’s doing, if he’s still wanting to play the game, or he’s rebelieving, or what. “My older sister—Pam, in this movie—we’re planning to all meet up in Florida for Christmas this year, and she just asked me, ‘Is your son coming? Great, should we put cookies out for Santa and everything?’ I said, ‘Yes, go ahead’ … but at this point, I really don’t know what he believes. I guess we’ll all just play it by ear and let him decide when he’s ready to stop.” Back to W. Kamau Bell, he went on to say that though he never believed, his own kids do. “My wife grew up believing in Santa Claus, and she believes that kids should have that magic in their life,” he said. “There are
some decisions in married life where you just say, ‘You know what? I’m going to stand over here and stay out of this one.’ “The joke in my house is that I’ll go, ‘So, you told Santa Claus what you want for Christmas yet? Did you tell Birthday Claus what you want for your birthday?’ And they’re all, ‘Oh, there’s no Birthday Claus!’ So we have fun with it, but I don’t know exactly where it all sits with my 7-year-old’s head right now. She’s beginning to understand, and sometimes she’ll ask, ‘Is there really a Santa Claus?’ And I have to be like, ‘Uhhhhhhhh … talk to your mom.’ “But sometimes when I look into my kids’ faces, I sort of wonder what I missed out on,” he continues. “My daughter went and met Santa Claus once, and she was so blown away and filled with this kind of ‘Oh My God’ sense of wonder and amazement, I have to admit I had a little bit of envy that she gets to feel something I never got to feel. But hey, I don’t blame my mom at all— Santa or no Santa, I think she did a good job.”
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Arts Ideas Photo courtesy Fred Curchack
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BEHIND THE MASK Writer and actor Fred Curchack’s depiction of Shakespeare’s ‘The Tempest’ is an existential trip.
‘Dreams’ Returns Theatrical artist Fred Curchack revives his strangest work at Sebastopol’s Main Stage West BY CHARLIE SWANSON
J
ust when Shakespeare scholars thought they had seen it all; actor, writer, director and professor Fred Curchack created something new and strange in 1983 with his one-man show, Stuff As Dreams Are Made On—a deconstruction of The Tempest featuring Curchack performing with an array of masks and visual trickery.
The play debuted at Cinnabar Theatre in Petaluma, where the New York–native was living, and Curchack went on to tour the show internationally to great critical acclaim. Now, the 71-year-old Curchack is reviving Stuff As Dreams Are Made On Dec. 27–28 at Main Stage West in Sebastopol, 15 years after he last performed it. “I’ve been asked to revive this show for a conference of Shakespeare theater directors from all over the world, apparently,” Curchack says. “I
decided to do a few local shows, and one in Dallas where I teach, to get it up to speed with real-life audiences.” This is not the first time Curchack’s been asked to perform for scholarly groups, and the play has been heralded by critics as an ambitious and audacious examination of Shakespeare and of art itself. “It’s about an actor who tries to do a one-man show using text from The Tempest, and he plays all the roles,” says Cuchack, who incorporates puppetry, ventriloquism and special effects into the show.
Beyond its academic value, Stuff As Dreams Are Made On is also a wildly imaginative, obscene, sometimes scary and often hilarious show that’s been a hit with audiences for years. “I’m trying to make it very entertaining, very outrageous, very dirty,” Curchack says. “It’s not for kids.” The balance between Shakespeare and outrageousness is the secret to the show’s success, and Curchack says Stuff As Dreams Are Made On resonates with people who can’t stand Shakespeare, because it confronts the way that Shakespeare’s works are often presented in our contemporary culture. “Often, the rich spirituality, psychology and existential insights that are Shakepseare’s contribution end up being analyzed merely as political insights,” Curchack says. “Of course, he was hugely political; there’s no question about that. But that’s not all he was doing.” In reviving Stuff As Dreams Are Made On, Curchack is finding new meaning in Shakespeare and his own work through the process of re-making the masks and special effects and adapting the physically-demanding show to his 71-year-old body. “All this stuff is what I love theater for, it awakens interest in all sorts of things,” Cuchack says. “Most of all, relearning the lines and reinvestigating what they really mean. Where do they touch my life on the deepest possible levels? There’s a whole host of things to think about, but it’s no longer in order to have a hit show, because it’s already been a hit show—now it’s in order to really work on myself in a way that’s fulfilling.” Fred Curchack performs ‘Stuff As Dreams Are Made On’ Friday and Saturday, Dec. 27–28, at Main Stage West, 104 N Main St., Sebastopol. 8pm. $15–$30. mainstagewest.com.
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Let’s kick it off with a live concert with The HOTS band!
In addition to the live show, we will be offering a champagne toast and barbecue buffet dinner from Up in Smoke Catering. As well as a raffle and costume contest.
SINGLE TICKET - $70
Entry to the Show Dinner Plate 1 Drink Ticket for Wine or Beer from the bar Midnight Champagne Toast Late Night Snacks 2 PERSON PACKAGE - $140 All of the above for 2 people,
Plus, a bottle of Kenneth Carl Brut Sparkling Wine (a $44 retail value)
Address: 44F Mill Street, Healdsburg Tickets: www.coyotesonoma.com
TICKETS: WILSONARTISANWINES.COM/2020
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IS GOING TO BE HOT!
NORTH BAY BOH E MI A N | DEC E M BE R 25-3 1 , 20 19 | BO H E M I AN.COM
14
Crush
The week’s events: a selective guide
CULTURE
KENWOOD
iNature
It’s never too early to get started on New Year’s resolutions, and if one of your goals in 2020 is to get out more, Sugarloaf Ridge State Park is hosting a Nature Photography and Citizen Science through iNaturalist Hike this weekend with naturalist and avid amateur nature photographer, John Lynch. Bring your camera and engage in nature photography, and learn from Lynch how to use the iNaturalist app to document the flora and fauna on Saturday, Dec. 28, 2605 Adobe Canyon Rd., Kenwood. 10am. $10. 707.833.5712.
R O H N E R T PA R K
Bubble Up
Growing up in Ohio, Larry “Bubbles” Brown moved to California in his 20s and began telling jokes onstage in 1981. Nearly 40 years later, Brown is one of San Francisco’s most popular performers, having adopted the nickname “Bubbles” as an ironic way to describe his gloom-anddoom brand of comedy. This week, “Bubbles” Brown is back onstage in the North Bay to record a new live album with special guests and dinner available on Saturday, Dec. 28, at Sally Tomatoes, 1100 Valley House Dr., Rohnert Park. Dinner at 6pm; show at 8pm. $10-$30 and up. 707.665.0260.
N A PA
Mama Mia
Pop music doesn’t get any more Swedish than supergroup ABBA, whose string of hits in the ’70s, including “Mamma Mia,” “Waterloo” and “Dancing Queen,” remain unparalleled in their popularity. Though ABBA’s music has inspired musicals and movies, the best way to experience their songs is still live on stage. That’s where ABBA The Concert comes in, offering the ultimate tribute concert show. ABBA The Concert makes its way to Napa this week for a show on Sunday, Dec. 29, at The Uptown Theatre, 1350 Third St., Napa. 8pm. $45-$65. 707.259.0123.
S A N TA R O S A KILLIN’ IT Rock & roll veteran Tommy Castro and his band the Painkillers kick off a packed weekend of shows at the Mystic Theatre in Petaluma on Friday, Dec. 27. See clubs & venues, pg 17.
Midday Ball-Drop
Let’s be honest, kids don’t make good New Year’s Eve guests: They can’t stay up until midnight and they can’t drink champagne—it’s a total bust. Instead, take them to the Charles M. Schulz Museum’s annual Happy New Year, Charlie Brown! celebration, where the balloons drop at noon and 3pm for celebratory fun that includes root beer toasts, arts, crafts, a visit from Snoopy and other hands-on fun. Tuesday, Dec. 31, at 2301 Hardies Lane, Santa Rosa. 10am to 4pm. 707.579.4452. Jayson Carpenter
—Charlie Swanson
Eric Chazankin
NO RESERVATIONS Patrick Varner takes on 40-plus characters in 6th Street Playhouse’s ‘Fully Committed.’
Laugh Lines
Two North Bay productions keep the merriment going BY HARRY DUKE
N
orth Bay theaters ring out the old and welcome in the New Year with music and comedy. The World Goes ‘Round to the beat of Broadway show tunes at Petaluma’s Cinnabar Theater while Santa Rosa’s 6th Street Playhouse is Fully Committed to bringing the laughs. Both shows run through Jan. 5.
You’re probably more familiar with the works of the songwriting team of John Kander and Fred Ebb than you realize. Responsible for the lyrics and music for Broadway hits like Cabaret and Chicago, The World Goes ‘Round is a musical revue featuring most of their best-known works.
‘The World Goes ‘Round’ runs through Jan. 5 at Cinnabar Theater, 3333 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. Fri–Sat, 7:30pm; Sun, 2pm. $30–$75. 707.763.8920. cinnabartheater.com ‘Fully Committed’ runs through Jan. 5 on the Monroe Stage at 6th Street Playhouse, 52 W. Sixth St., Santa Rosa. Thu–Sat, 7:30pm; Sat–Sun, 2pm. $18–$29. 707.523.4185. 6thstreetplayhouse.com
15 NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 25-31 , 2019 | BOH EMI A N.COM
Stage
There’s no plot, just five performers (Aja Gianola-Norris, Anna Joham, Adam Niemann, Brandy Noveh and Kevin Singer) and three musicians (Musical Director Mike Greensill, Steven Hoffman and John Shebalin) performing two dozen or so Kander and Ebb songs. Each song is a story unto itself, with director/ choreographer Clark Sterling bringing a light touch and inventive movement to songs that range from the amusing “Sara Lee” to the melancholy “Mr. Cellophane” to the rousing “New York, New York.” Delivered in an intimate, cabaret-style setting via a talented ensemble that’s fully committed to entertaining their audience, it’s a very pleasant evening of musical theater full of delightful characterizations and terrific vocals. Fully Committed is also the highfalutin’ term a tony Manhattan restaurant prefers to use when telling potential patrons they’re totally booked. Meet Sam (Patrick Varner), a struggling New York actor whose daytime job consists of taking reservations from the hoi polloi hoping to get a good table at a New York eatery known for its “molecular gastronomy.” It’s the type of restaurant that serves “smoked cuttlefish risotto in a cloud of dry ice infused with pipe tobacco.” Tucked in the basement, Sam juggles the reservation lines, a staff intercom, a “hot” line to the chef and his cell phone while he engages in conversations with the crème-dela-crème of New York society, his absent coworker, his demanding boss and his father (who’s hoping he can come home for Christmas). Varner is a whirling dervish as he takes on 40-some characters and gives them each a personality and a voice. It takes a bit of getting used to visually, but buy into it and it’s a fun 90 minutes. Rating for both (out of 5): HHHH
The Tides Wharf & Restaurant
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Music
BD Jack Photography
N ORT H BAY B OH E MI AN | D ECEMBER 25-31, 2019 | BOH EMI A N.COM
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Happy Holidays
DINE-IN CINEMA Academy Award “Moore Gives Her BestNominee Performance Foreign Language Film!Stone In Years!” – Box Office “RawBest and Riveting!” – Rolling
Academy Award PLEASE NOTE: No Shows AfterNominee 7:15pm Tue, Dec 31
Demi MooreWITH DavidBASHIR Duchovny LITTLE WOMEN PG CC DV No Passes WALTZ A MIGHTY HEART (1:00) 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:15 (12:45 3:45) 9:40RDec THE JONESES (12:30) 2:456:45 5:00 9:40 7:20 No 9:45 R 31
2:40Noms 4:50 7:106:45 9:20 RActor! Fri(12:30) Only: (12:00 3:45) 9:40 2 Academy Award Including Best
from Summerfield
“A Triumph!” – New “A Glorious Throwback ToYork The Observer More Stylized, THE WRESTLER R CC DV Painterly Work Of Decades Past!” – LA (12:20) 5:10 9:45 R Times LA2:45 VIE EN 7:30 ROSE (1:00 4:00) 7:00 9:50 No 9:50 Dec 31 (12:45) 3:45 6:45OF 9:45 PG-13 THEAward SECRET KELLS 10 Academy Noms Including Best Picture! (1:00) 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 NR SLuMDOG MILLIONAIRE “★★★★ – Really, Truly, Deeply – “Superb! No One4:00 Could Make This 7:10 9:40 R Believable One of (1:15) This Year’s Best!” –CC Newsday PG-13 DV No Passes If It Were Fiction!” – San Francisco Chronicle
UNCUT GEMS
STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (11:45 3:00) Award 6:30 Noms 9:45 Including No 9:45 Dec 31 ONCE 8 Academy
PRODIGAL SONS
(1:00) 3:10 R Best Picture, Best5:20 Actor7:30 & Best9:40 Director!
Best Picture, Actor & Show Best Director! (2:20) 9:10 Best NR No 9:10 Tue or Thu BOMBSHELL R CC DV No 9:45 Dec 31 MILK
“Haunting and Hypnotic!” – Rolling Stone (12:00 2:25 7:20 “Wise, Humble and Effortlessly – Newsweek (1:30) 4:104:50) 6:45 Funny!” 9:30 R9:45
NOW SERVING BEER & WINE Check our website for up-to-date movie info: SummerfieldCinemas.com 707.525.8909 • 551 Summerfield Rd, Santa Rosa DON’T FORGET TO VOTE FOR US AT BOHEMIAN.COM
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THE GIRL THE TATTOO Please Note: 1:30 Show Sat, PleaseWITH Note: No No 1:30 ShowDRAGON Sat, No No 6:45 6:45 Show Show Thu Thu WAITRESS
WAITRESS PG CC DV No 9:10 (1:10) 4:30 7:30 NRDec 31 (1:30) 4:00 7:10 9:30 Best R Picture! 5 Academy Award Noms Including 1:50 4:15) Gem!” 6:40 –9:10 “★★★(11:30 1/2! AnFROST/NIXON unexpected USA Today
CATS
FROST/NIXON (2:15)Mysterious, 7:20 R GREENBERG “Swoonly Hilarious!” SPIES Romatic, IN DISGUISE PG CC DV
(12:00) 9:50 R – Slant5:00 Magazine “Deliciously unsettling!” PARIS, JE T’AIME (11:45) 4:45 9:50– RLA Times (1:15)GHOST 4:15 7:00 9:30 R DV THE PG-13 CC Kevin Jorgenson presents the WRITER California Premiere of (2:15)6:50 7:159:30 PG-13 (1:10 4:00) No 9:30 Dec 31 – Slant 7:00 Magazine (11:50 2:10 4:40) 9:20 No 9:20 Dec 31 REVOLuTIONARY ROAD
KNIVES OUT
PuRE: A BOuLDERING FLICK Michael Moore’s Feb 26th at 7:15 THE Thu, MOST DANGEROuS RICHARD JEWELL R CC DV SICKO MOVIES MORNING MANIN INTHE AMERICA
Starts Fri, June (11:40) 7:15 Must29th! End Soon! Fri, Sat, Sun &PENTAGON Mon DANIEL ELLSBERG AND THENow PAPERS Advance Tickets On Sale at Box Office! 9:50 AM (12:10) 4:30 6:50 6:50 Show Tue or Thu FROZEN RIVER (12:00) 2:30 NR 5:00No7:30 10:00 10:15 AM VICKY Their CRISTINA BARCELONA First Joint Venture In 25PG Years! CC DV 10:20 AM CHANGELING Venessa Redgrave Meryl Streep Glenn CloseAM CHEECH AND CHONG’S (2:30 5:00) 9:50 No 9:50 Dec 31 10:40 RACHEL GETTING MARRIED HEYSHORTS WATCH THIS 2009 LIVE ACTION (Fri/Mon Only)) 10:45 AM EVENING 10:45 Sat, Apr17th at 11pm & Tue, Apr 20th 8pmAM 2009 ANIMATED SHORTS Only) Starts Fri,(Sun June 29th!
A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
ravenfilmcenter.com • Healdsburg Bistro Menu, Beer & Wine available in all Auditoriums For Showtimes: 707.525.8909
Fireside Dining Sat & Sun Brunch 11–3
Crab Feed Weekend!
Dec 27, 28 & 29 Reservations Required – AQ Celebrate the “High Holidays” Fri
Dec 27 with Terry Haggerty & Safety Meeting 7:30 ⁄ No Cover
“Year End Beatle Fest” Dec 28
The Sun Kings
& Sun
Beatles Never Sounded So Good!” Dec 29 “The Dec 28, 8:30 & Dec 29, 7:00 Tue
Our Annual Dec 31 New Year’s Eve Party with
The Zydeco Flames 9:00
Fri
Jan 3
PG-13 CC DV No Passes
(1:30 4:20) 7:10 9:40
No 9:40 Dec 31
Lunch & Dinner 7 Days a Week
Din ner & A Show
Sat
JUMANJI: THE NEXT LEVEL
Paul Olguin & Loralee Christensen
Soulful, Powerful Songs 7:00 ⁄ No Cover
Todos Santos Jan 5 Cantina Americana 4:00 ⁄ No Cover Sun Fri
“Pride of Marin”
Sat
Original Mischief 7:00 ⁄ No Cover The Sassy
Jan 10 Jerry Hannan
Jan 11 Annie Sampson
Rock, Blues, R&B 8:00 ⁄ No Cover Reservations Advised
415.662.2219
On the Town Square, Nicasio www.ranchonicasio.com
Sat 12⁄26 • 7pm ⁄ $17–20 • All Ages Santa's After-Party with
San Francisco Airship
Fri 12⁄27 & Sat 12⁄28 • 8pm ⁄ $50–60 • 21+ Sun 12⁄29 • 7pm ⁄ $50–60 • All Ages
Lucero
The Easy Leaves Mon 12⁄30•7pm ⁄ $59–64 • 21+ Tue 12⁄31 • 8pm ⁄ $99–109 • 21+
NYE Residency in Mill Valley with
Green Leaf Rustlers Fri 1⁄3 • 8pm ⁄ $27–30 • All Ages
Bonnie Hayes & Mystery Dance Sat 1⁄4 • 8pm ⁄ $17–22 • All Ages
Prezident Brown
Reggae Angels, DJ Dans 1 Sun 1⁄5 • 6pm ⁄ $12–15 • All Ages
Katie Knipp + Sasha Dobson Wed 1⁄8 • 6pm ⁄ FREE • All Ages
The Humidors
Funk and Soul Jam with Special Guests & DJs Thu 1⁄9 • 7pm ⁄ FREE • All Ages
Mad Mama & The Bona Fide Few Whateverglades
www.sweetwatermusichall.com 19 Corte Madera Ave, Mill Valley Café 388-1700 | Box Office 388-3850
OH SNAP Santa Rosa swing-folk band Snaps for Sinners plays
the Mischief Masquerade for New Year’s Eve.
Party Down
New Year’s Eve means live music in the North Bay BY CHARLIE SWANSON
A
llow us to be the first to close the books on 2019. With old acquaintances, both forgotten and remembered, we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet—and we’ll start with these New Year’s Eve concerts around the North Bay. Mischief Masquerade The North Bay Cabaret never fails to raise a few eyebrows, and master of ceremonies Jake Ward is sure to pull out all the stops for this Fifth Annual New Year’s Eve spectacular at the Whiskey Tip in Santa Rosa. Featured live performances include Sonoma County native and drag artist Hollow Eve, fire-dancer Afina Flint, folk-rock bands the Crux and Snaps for Sinners (previously known as Buck Thrifty), improv comedy troupe the Natural Disasters and others. The Masquerade also features two full bars, a silent disco, crowd games, a photo booth and a midnight champagne toast. (northbaycabaret.com) Petaluma Museum’s Gala Concert & A Night in Vienna Sky Hill Cultural Alliance and the Petaluma Museum Association present their 11th Annual New Year's Eve gala concert, which features classical entertainment from members of the San Francisco Symphony. Violinvirtuoso and Sonoma-native Nigel
Armstrong returns to perform once again at this year’s concert. Dr. Kayleen Asbo, acclaimed musician and Cultural Historian to the Santa Rosa Symphony, will also be on hand. After that show, the action moves to nearby Hermann Sons Hall for A Night in Vienna, featuring Viennese dishes and desserts, and waltzes performed by a live orchestra. (petalumamuseum.com, skyhill.org) New Year’s Eve Studio 54 Party Locals may not immediately associate “disco” with the small community along the Russian River known as Rio Nido, yet the beloved Rio Nido Roadhouse is going full glam when it hosts a Studio 54-themed party to close out 2019. Dress to impress (assuming bell-bottoms and platform shoes impress), and dance the night away to the sounds of Petty Rocks, who play a two-hour set capped with a champagne toast. (rionidoroadhouse.com) New Year’s Eve Spirit Ball The spirit of the 2020s is already alive in Napa, and the JaM Cellars Ballroom at Margrit Mondavi Theatre in downtown Napa will roar into the new decade as local favorites Royal Jelly Jive perform their brand of soulful swing-jazz with several musical guests joining in and champagne flowing. (jamcellarsballroom.com)
Concerts SONOMA Charlie Musselwhite
Blues Hall of Fame musician performs support from Kingsborough. Dec 31, 8:30pm. $60 and up. Mystic Theatre & Music Hall, 23 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma, 707.775.6048.
Mischief Masquerade North Bay Cabaret’s variety show features burlesque, live music and comedy. Dec 31, 7pm. $25-$45. Whiskey Tip, 1910 Sebastopol Rd, Santa Rosa, 707.843.5535.
NAPA ABBA The Concert
Tribute show brings the pop phenomena back to life. Dec 29, 8pm. $45-$65. Uptown Theatre, 1350 Third St, Napa, 707.259.0123.
Kenny G
Saxophonist performs multiple shows leading up to New Year’s Eve. Dec 27-31. $79 and up. Blue Note Napa, 1030 Main St, Napa, 707.880.2300.
Clubs & Venues SONOMA The Big Easy
Dec 27, Beer Scouts with Janie & the Reformers. Dec 28, Dave Crimmen and Surf Monster. Dec 29, Willow & Hound. Dec 31, El Radio Fantastique. 128 American Alley, Petaluma, 707.776.7163.
Coyote Sonoma
Dec 27, Fat Chance Truckin Band. Dec 28, the Remedies. Dec 31, the Hots. 44F Mill St, Healdsburg, 707.385.9133.
Elephant in the Room Dec 27, the Blues Defenders. Dec 28, Sean Carscadden Trio. Dec 29, 6pm, Awesome Hotcakes. Dec 31, John Courage Trio. 177-A Healdsburg Ave, Healdsburg, elephantintheroompub.com.
Flamingo Lounge
Dec 27, Marshall House Project. Dec 28, the Poyntlyss Sistars. Dec 31, UB707. 2777 Fourth St, Santa Rosa, 707.545.8530.
HopMonk Sebastopol
Dec 27, Shlump. Dec 28, J Lately. Dec 30, DJ Shortkut. Dec 31, Hot Buttered Rum. 230 Petaluma Ave, Sebastopol, 707.829.7300.
HopMonk Sonoma
Dec 27, Hannah Jern-Miller. Dec 28, Caitlin Jemma. Dec 31, Roem Baur. 691 Broadway, Sonoma, 707.935.9100.
Mystic Theatre & Music Hall
Dec 27, Tommy Castro & the Painkillers with Chris Cain. Dec 28, Monophonics with Jesse Ray Smith. Dec 29, Cracker and Camper Van Beethoven. 23 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma, 707.775.6048.
Redwood Cafe
Dec 27, Soul Fuse. Dec 28, Instrument of Peace and Velvet Chamber. Dec 30, the Blues Defenders pro jam. Dec 31, the Pulsators. 8240 Old Redwood Hwy, Cotati, 707.795.7868.
Reel & Brand
Dec 27, Ann Halen. Dec 28, Funky Gators. Dec 31, Train Wreck Junction. 401 Grove St, Sonoma, 707.343.0044.
Events Happy New Year, Charlie Brown!
Field Trips First Day Hike at Jack London Park
First Day Hike at Sugarloaf
Downtown Joe’s Brewery & Restaurant
Dec 27, Road Eleven. Dec 28, Xstatic. Dec 29, DJ Aurelio. 902 Main St, Napa, 707.258.2337.
Hydro Grill
Dec 31, the AllwaysElvis Outta Rehab 2020 New Years Eve Party. 1403 Lincoln Ave, Calistoga, 707.942.9777.
JaM Cellars Ballroom at the Margrit Mondavi Theatre
Dec 31, New Year’s Eve Spirit Ball with Royal Jelly Jive. 1030 Main St, Napa, 707.880.2300.
Comedy Funny Funny 2020 New Years Eve Show
Prime rib dinner and standup
12/31 NYE with UB707
Soul, Funk, R&B Covers
1/11
Twin Oaks Roadhouse
NAPA
Rock, Dance Covers, ‘50s—Current
New Year’s Eve on the Wine Train
Rio Nido Roadhouse
Dec 27, Attila Viola & the Bakersfield Boys. Dec 28, Brother Spellbinder. Dec 31, Hell and the High Water. 5745 Old Redwood Hwy, Penngrove, 707.795.5118.
ROCKIN’ SHOW BAND
1/10 RPR ENT. FEATURING DJ’S
Start the new year in the outdoors and hike to the park’s summit. Jan 1, 10am. Jack London State Park, 2400 London Ranch Rd, Glen Ellen, 707.938.5216.
Dec 31, Studio 54 Party with Petty Rocks. 14540 Canyon 2 Rd, Rio Nido, 707.869.0821.
12/28 THE POYNTLYSS SISTARS
Family fun includes balloon drop at noon and 3pm, with root beer toasts and hands-on crafts for kids. Dec 31, 10am. Charles M Schulz Museum, 2301 Hardies Lane, Santa Rosa, 707.579.4452.
Tour Napa Valley with gourmet dinner and party favors. Dec 31. $202; afterparty is $75 and up. Napa Valley Wine Train, 1275 McKinstry St, Napa, 800.427.4124.
1/3
I-TAWEH/DJ GREEN B
1/4
konsept Party Band
Reggae Funk, R&B Covers
‘80s Hair Metal and Beyond
SANTA ROSA SALSA presents LIVE SALSA!
1/17 REWIND
Rock, Dance Covers
1/18 CAPRICORN PARTY WITH
MIDNIGHT SUN
Funk/R&B/World/Reggae/Rock
THRIVE in the Ballroom
1/24 DJ Techni Presents Decades, a flashback Friday Bonanza
Bachata Thursdays • Salsa Sundays 2777 Fourth St • Santa Rosa 707.545.8530 • Flamingoresort.com
Hike to Bald Mountain in this annual event. Jan 1, 10am. Free; parking fees apply. Sugarloaf Ridge State Park, 2605 Adobe Canyon Rd, Kenwood, 707.833.5712.
FRIDAY
TOMMY CASTRO & THE
WITH CHRIS DEC 27 PAINKILLERS CAIN BLUES ROCK • DOORS 7:30PM • 21+
SATURDAY MONOPHONICS WITH
RAY SMITH DEC 28 JESSE SOUL• DOORS 7:00PM • 21+ SUNDAY
CRACKER & CAMPER VAN
TUESDAY
CHARLIE MUSSELWHITE
DEC 29 BEETHOVEN ALT ROCK • DOORS 7:00PM • 21+
Theater
DEC 31
Fully Committed Comedy places an out-of-work actor and his guests at an A-list Manhattan restaurant’s reservation line. Through Jan 5. $18-$29. 6th Street Playhouse, 52 W Sixth St, Santa Rosa, 707.523.4185.The BOHEMIAN’s calendar is produced as a service to the community. If you have an item for the calendar, send it to calendar@bohemian. com, or mail it to: NORTH BAY BOHEMIAN, 847 Fifth St, Santa Rosa CA 95404. Inclusion of events in the print edition is at the editor’s discretion. Deadline is two weeks prior to desired publication date.
NO RTH BAY BO H E M I AN | D EC E M BE R 25-31 , 2019 | BOH EMI A N.COM
Calendar
17
show welcomes in the New Year. Dec 31, 5pm. $10-$45. Sally Tomatoes, 1100 Valley House Dr, Rohnert Park, 707.665.0260.
WITH
KINGSBOROUGH
BLUES• DOORS 7:30PM • 21+
SATURDAY VELVET TEEN WITH OVVN, ZOMBIE, & LORD JAN 4 SABERTOOTH MOUNTAIN INDIE• DOORS 7:30PM • 21+ AN EVENING WITH FRIDAY
DIAMOND JAN 10 SUPER TRIBUTE• DOORS 8PM • 21+ SATURDAY BLACK FLAG WITH
LINECUTTERS JAN 11 THE PUNK • DOORS 7:30PM • 21+ FRIDAY
Kindred
Fair Trade Handcrafts
We have stuffies! 605 Fourth Street | Downtown Santa Rosa 707-579-1459 | M-Sa 10:30-6, Su 12-5
AN EVENING WITH ELVIN
BIG FUN TRIO JAN 17 BISHOP'S BLUES ROCK• DOORS 7:30PM • 21+ 1⁄18 The Soul Section, 1⁄23 The English Beat, 1⁄25 Fleetwood Mask, 1⁄26 Darwin, Schlee, BC Fitzpatrick, 1⁄30 King Street Giants, 1⁄31 Soul Ska With The Happyʼs & Epicenter Sound, 2⁄1 The Mother Hips & Coffis Brothers: A Benefit For Declan Walsh, 2⁄4 The Green, 2⁄5 Jackie Greene, 2⁄7 Micro Mania Midget Wrestling, 2⁄11 Logan Mize with Willie Jones, 2⁄12 HIRIE with Nattali Rize and Jason J, 2⁄14 Melvins
WWW.MYSTICTHEATRE.COM 23 PETALUMA BLVD N. PETALUMA, CA 94952
Press Pass Mae Mu
NORTH BAY BOH EMI A N | DEC E M BE R 25-3 1 , 20 19 | BO H E M I AN.COM
18
DRINK PINK Looking toward 2020
with rosé-tinted glasses.
Resolved
PICKUP ONLY
PICK UP AND DELIVERY
Wine Country New Year’s resolutions
BY DAEDALUS HOWELL
Y
ou say you want a resolution well-el, you know? We’re all trying to change the world— one broken New Year’s resolution at a time.
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The usual suspects among the top resolutions every year are: lose weight, quit smoking and spend less money. Perhaps I’m the laziest reporter in the world, but I didn’t even bother to Google these resolutions— they’re always the same. Especially “lose weight,” which is particularly challenging in Sonoma and Napa counties where our culinary pursuits generally reach for a higher bar. Or sometimes just the bar. I thought I’d see if any other resolutions recently rose in rank among my friends and colleagues— the only addition being “drink better wine.” Yes, things are different here. Many outside our borders assume we’re an island nation surrounded by a sea of wine. Someday we might be—we’re one industrial accident away from having our streets run red with zinfandel, like some oenophile’s Venetian wet dream. I can already hear the gondoliers singing “Sul mare luccica” whilst
paddling to Petaluma. However, until pinot noir levels rise (we’ll call it “Global Wining”), we should focus on improving ourselves and on what it means to live in the North Bay. Accordingly, here are three new New Year’s resolutions: 1. Quit smoking e-cigarettes … at least in public. Taking furtive tugs off a nicotine-delivery device makes you look like the heavy in some ’80s, sci-fi Philip K. Dick adaptation. You instantly look like a dodgy dealer of mnemonic implants, which is almost acceptable until you sneak a drag from your oral fixation tube in a movie theater and it lights up the back row every time you suck on it. Add your blinking Bluetooth headset and you look like a low-rent, one-man disco. If you had a siren, I wouldn’t know if I was supposed to pull over or punch you in the face. 2. Stop getting DUIs. I once wrote the police blotter for a local paper and never, ever had enough space to print all of the “driving under the influence” busts. The phonebook people once called me and asked for my notes since I had the most frequently updated list of local residents. Here are your options: Call an Uber, convince a local BMXriding speedfreak to run a rickshaw between deliveries or stand on the sidewalk and ask people for the time like Gena Rowlands in A Woman Under the Influence. Of the three choices, the third will take the longest but will result in the most interesting ride home. If the dude is Peter Falk, all the better. 3. Get organized. This resolution proved divisive with the people I polled when at a local wine bar. My lefty, pro-union brethren naturally assumed it pertained to organizing labor into a single, representative entity to aid their plight against heartless corporations. My upperclass patron pals, who own shares in those corporations, thought it referred to Marie Kondo-ing their walk-in closets. Then the bill came. Chaos ensued. Happily, since I’m in the media, I was comp’d. There’s no class struggle when you got no class. I felt resolved—at least enough to say “Happy New Year!”
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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Nazi Germany invaded and occupied Denmark during World War II. In 1943, Hitler ordered all Danish Jews to be arrested—a first step in his plan to send them to concentration camps. But the Danish resistance movement leapt into action and smuggled virtually all of them to safety via fishing boats bound for Sweden. As a result, 8,000+ Danish Jews survived the Holocaust. You may not have the opportunity to do anything quite as heroic in 2020, Aries. But I expect you will have chances to express a high order of practical idealism that could be among your noblest and most valiant efforts ever. Draw inspiration from the Danish resistance. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When she was 31,
Taurus writer Charlotte Brontë finished writing her novel Jane Eyre. She guessed it would have a better chance of getting published if its author was thought to be a man. So she adopted the masculine pen name of Currer Bell and sent the manuscript unsolicited to a London publisher. Less than eight weeks later, her new book was in print. It quickly became a commercial success. I propose that we make Brontë one of your role models for 2020, Taurus. May she inspire you to be audacious in expressing yourself and confident in seeking the help you need to reach your goals. May she embolden you, too, to use ingenious stratagems to support your righteous cause.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): 2020 can and should be a lyrically healing year for you. Here’s what I mean: Beauty and grace will be curative. The “medicine” you need will come to you via poetic and mellifluous experiences. With this in mind, I encourage you to seek out encounters with the following remedies: 1. Truth Whimsies 2. Curiosity Breakthroughs 3. Delight Gambles 4. Sacred Amusements 4. Redemptive Synchronicities 5. Surprise Ripenings 6. Gleeful Discoveries 7. Epiphany Adventures 8. Enchantment Games 9. Elegance Eruptions 10. Intimacy Angels 11. Playful Salvation 12. Luminosity Spells. CANCER (June 21-July 22): “There are years that ask questions and years that answer,” wrote author Zora Neale Hurston. According to my astrological analysis, Cancerian, 2020 is likely to be one of those years that asks questions, while 2021 will be a time when you’ll get rich and meaningful answers to the queries you’ll pose in 2020. To ensure that this plan works out for your maximum benefit, it’s essential that you formulate provocative questions in the coming months. At first, it’s fine if you generate too many. As the year progresses, you can whittle them down to the most ultimate and important questions. Get started! LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Roman Emperor Vespasian (9–79 C.E.) supervised the restoration of the Temple of Peace, the Temple of Claudius and the Theater of Marcellus. He also built a huge statue of Apollo and the amphitheater now known as the Colosseum, whose magnificent ruins are still a major tourist attraction. Vespasian also created a less majestic but quite practical wonder: Rome’s first public urinals. In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you Leos to be stimulated by his example in 2020. Be your usual magnificent self as you generate both inspiring beauty and earthy, pragmatic improvements. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When Virgo author Mary Shelley was 18 years old, she had a disconcerting, dream-like vision about a mad chemist who created a weird human-like creature out of non-living matter. She set about to write a book based on her mirage. At age 20, she published Frankenstein, a novel that would ultimately wield a huge cultural influence and become a seminal work in the “science fiction” genre. I propose we make Shelley one of your role models for 2020. Why? Because I suspect that you, too, will have the power to transform a challenging event or influence into an important asset. You’ll be able to generate or attract a new source of energy by responding creatively to experiences that initially provoke anxiety. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libra-born mystic poet Rumi (1207–1273 C.E.) wrote that he searched for holy sustenance and divine inspiration in temples, churches and mosques—but couldn’t find them there. The good news? Because of his disappointment, he was
BY ROB BREZSNY
motivated to go on an inner quest—and ultimately found holy sustenance and divine inspiration in his own heart. I’ve got a strong feeling that you’ll have similar experiences in 2020, Libra. Not on every occasion, but much of the time, you will discover the treasure you need and long for not in the outside world but rather in your own depths.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Among his many
accomplishments, Scorpio rapper Drake is an inventive rhymer. In his song “Diplomatic Immunity”, he rhymes “sacred temple” with “stencil”. Brilliant! Other rhymes: “statistics” with “ballistics”; “Treaty of Versailles” with “no cease and desist in I”; and—my favorite—“Al Jazeera” (the Qatar-based news source) with “Shakira” (the Colombian singer). According to my analysis of the astrological omens in 2020, many of you Scorpios will have Drake-style skill at mixing and blending seemingly disparate elements. I bet you’ll also be good at connecting influences that belong together but have never been able to combine before.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian poet Rainer Maria Rilke (1875–1926 C.E.) embodied a trait that many astrology textbooks suggest is common to the Sagittarian tribe: wanderlust. He was born in Prague but traveled widely throughout Europe and Russia. If there were a Guinness World Records’ category for “Time Spent as a Houseguest,” Rilke might hold it. There was a four-year period when he lived at 50 different addresses. I’m going to be bold here and hypothesize that 2020 will NOT be one of those years when you would benefit from being like Rilke. In fact, I hope you’ll seek out more stability and security than usual.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): 15th-century Italian metalworker Lorenzo Ghiberti worked for 28 years to turn the doors of the Florence Baptistry into a massive work of art. He used bronze to create numerous scenes from the Bible. His fellow artist Michelangelo was so impressed that he said Ghiberti’s doors could have served as “The Gates of Paradise.” I offer Ghiberti as inspiration for your life in 2020, Capricorn. I think you’ll be capable of beginning a masterwork that could take quite some time to complete and serve as your very own “gate to paradise”: in other words, an engaging project and delightful accomplishment that will make you feel your life is eminently meaningful and worthwhile. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’re wise to cultivate a degree of skepticism and even contrariness. Like all of us, your abilities to say NO to detrimental influences and to criticize bad things are key to your mental health. On the other hand, it’s a smart idea to keep checking yourself for irrelevant, gratuitous skepticism and contrariness. You have a sacred duty to maintain just the amount you need, but no more— even as you foster a vigorous reservoir of receptivity, optimism and generosity. And guess what? 2020 will be an excellent time to make this one of your cornerstone habits. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Dante Alighieri (1265–1321 C.E.) finished writing The Divine Comedy in 1320. Today it’s considered one of the supreme literary accomplishments in the Italian language and a classic of world literature. But no one ever read the entire work in the English language until 1802, when it was translated for the first time. Let’s invoke this as a metaphor for your life in the coming months, Pisces. According to my visions, a resource or influence that has previously been inaccessible to you will finally arrive in a form you can understand and use. Some wisdom that has been untranslatable or unreadable will at last be available. Go to REALASTROLOGY.COM to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. Audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1.877.873.4888.
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