We remember them

From the Editor

Fr Jim O’Connell, mhm

Praying for the Dead

There is a story about a lady who went to the parish priest to arrange an anniversary Mass for her husband who had died 20 years earlier. The priest knew her and her husband well and said to her ‘I am sure John is well and truly safely home with God by now’. ‘I know that’ she said, ‘but I still love him, miss him and want to remember him especially on his anniversary. I am also grateful to God for our life together.’ This is surely a great way to explain why we pray for the souls of our dear departed loved ones. It expresses what we believe about this life and the next life, about our loved ones who are now with God and our communion with them. We believe that loved ones are aware of us, interested in us, caring for us, praying for us and loving us as they always did.

The experience of losing a loved one is very distressing. Great sadness invades our hearts. Witnessing the death itself can be heart breaking. Death can come suddenly or it can come at the end of a painful journey through a long illness. Either way, there is no escaping pain and suffering. Sudden death brings deep shock together with the profound sense of loss and grief. Death after a long illness has to be coped with by family members already tired and weary, having spent weeks or months at the sick person’s bedside, often feeling exhausted and helpless.

The great outpouring of kindness and generosity of family, friends and neighbours supports people and helps them at such times. However, coping with the death of a loved one is still a lonely journey. When the thin veil between time and eternity is torn apart and a parent, husband, wife, brother, sister, relative or close friend is gone forever there is no avoiding great sadness - the deeper the love, the greater the sadness.

Even the death of a parent at a good age can leave one very upset. When a person dies by suicide, the shock, pain, sense of loss and even guilt feelings, can be almost unbearable.

Time can help and heal but grief and loss often linger in one’s heart for years and perhaps for the rest of one’s life. But the heart does go on and love of departed family and friends does go on. It is expressed and strengthened when we remember them and pray for them. For many people faith and hope in God brings comfort and consolation. In words that you sometimes see on a memoriam card:

“Their memory is our keepsake, with which we will never part.

God has them in his keeping, we have them in our hearts.”

We Remember Them

by Fr Donie O’Connor, mhm.

In the early morning, we remember them. In the twilight glow, we remember them. In the falling leaves, we remember them In the blue of the sky, we remember them. In the flight of the bird, we remember them.

In family and friends, we remember them. In a smile, we remember them. In the lilt of a familiar tune, we remember them. In the finding of a lost coin, we remember them. In laughter and fun, we remember them. In quiet dignity, we remember them.

In prayer, we remember them. At Mass, we remember them. In the grace of perseverance, we remember them. In the wrapping of a gift, we remember them.

In coming home, we remember them. In the stillness of the night, we remember them. At the dawning of the day, we remember them. At the dimming of the day, we remember them. In separation and celebration, we remember them. As long as we live, we remember them. Amen.

(Modelled on ‘A Litany of Remembrance’ by Sylvan Kamens and Jack Riemer.)