Costly Ambitions VOL. 6
2018-2019
Montebello High School Literary Art Magazine 2100 W. Cleveland Ave. Montebello Ca. 90640 1
Oil Spill
$2
Montebello High School
P.E. P.E.
P.E.
Oil spill is an extracurricular club run by students in the C.A.T.S. (Creative Arts Technology School) pathway. Oil Spill curates works from peers at Montebello High to create the school’s literary magazine. Collecting works of art from high school age students is an effort of its own. One must prod and cajole, remind and convince the student to give us their most personal thoughts and artistic interpretations. But for what? To be reviewed? To be recognized? To lose what is left of anonymity? Oil Spill makes public their hurricane of emotions, thoughts, and their personal ambitions. We abandon any form of privacy. We want to put a name to the art. We know all the while these efforts were for no one but the artist, never to be leave their journal and sketch book. Yet, here they are being nationally critiqued. It’s a costly ambition on both parts. A little recognition won’t hurt. A little exposure might be good. Expression of your emotions is therapeutic. The contribution makes one part of a greater community. And after all, earning awards makes one feel good. We now dive into the perspective of teenage thoughts and ideas. We embrace the beauty and distortion of it all. We hold close the conflicted emotions, love and hate, whether with others or ourselves, and the desire to raise our voices when controversial, political, or ethical issues arise. Montebello High School 2100 W. Cleveland Ave.
Montebello Ca. 90640 323-728-0121
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Colophon: Cover Art: Nikki Enriquez Composition Book Cover Digital Illustration. Theme of “Costly Ambitions� was inspired by Kassandra Acosta. Typefaces: Aharoni Artist/authors, Yummy Cupcakes Titles and Text. Pages are were created using Microsoft Publisher. Cover printed on 80# GPA Uncoated Cover, text printed on 70# GPA uncoated. A four color process was used throughout. Printed by 3210 South Atlantic Blvd, Monterey Park Ca 91754. Oil Spill is funded generously via the general fund. Oil Spill generates one hundred copies at two dollars each.
All art and written pieces were submitted by the students of Montebello High School. Work is accepted at the beginning of the school year till mid April. Students are able to turn in unlimited amounts of work only three may be accepted. If you are Interested in contributing to Oil Spill you can submit your work to room E-9 or James Ramirez. All Pieces may be selected by the student editorial staff for its respective genre. Pieces are selected based on interest, quality, and technical appeal.
James Ramirez
-Adviser
Helen Meltzer
-Principal
Kassandra Acosta –Editor in Chief Axel Vazquez
–Publicity
Rachel Garcia
–Layout
Nikki Enriquez
–Assistant Layout
Lizeth Avila
–Photo Staff
Marilyn Guerrero
–Photo Editor
Mishell Dominguez –Poetry Editor Josephine Saldana –Art Staff Amber Wiscovitch –Art Staff
Kathy Lizarraga
–Art Staff
Jennifer Ramirez
–Art Staff
Valadez Joana
-Art Staff
Sandy Tayun
-Art Staff
Jazmine Ferguson –Art Editor
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Table of Contents Introduction Colophon Staff Table of Contents Diana Martin Leslie Valazquez Piruza Torosyan Jazlyn Pinon Alyssa Menendez Kassandra Acosta Mishell Dominguez Daniela Berumen Ruby Mejia Viivixn Argueta Jasmine Ferguson Ashley Aispuro Alyssa Lopez Mishell Dominguez Marylyn Guerrero Rachel Garcia Helen Castillo Amelia Richards Ollie Seril Mark Alcaraz Amelia Richards Benjamin Miramontes Ruby Mejia Lizeth Avila Rachel Garcia Josephine Saldana Roslyn Burbano Daniela Berumen Rachel Garcia Nikki Enriquez Diana Martin
1 2 3 4-5 Focus is You 6 Cameo 6 Pink Ladies 7 Two Foxes 8 The Hunter 8 Friendship in the Forest 9 Wolf of the World 9 Sun Kissed 10 Hazel Chocolate 10 Dear Little Sister 11 I ridescent 12 Hallucination 13 Borderline 13 Vault of Heaven 14 Fiery 14 Spirits 15 Blue Love 16 All Around 16 Blind in Love 17 What About Love 18 Locks of Love 19 Never Ending Lights 20-21 My Desert is My Sea 22 A Birthday Surprise 22 Let’s Eat 23 Sakura Stroll 24 9:00 a.m. 25 Flamingos 25 Space Cat 26 YIKES 27 Urban Sunset 27
Photography Tempura Photography Digital Illustration Graphite Watercolor Marker Pen Photography Digital Illustration Poetry Gouache Mixed Media Poetry Photography Photography Mixed Media Digital Illustration Photography Poetry Poetry Photography Poetry Digital Illustration Photography Marker Pen Marker Pen Digital Illustration Photography Marker Pen Digital Illustration Photography
Viivixn Argueta Zachery Bernal Jesus Morales Ashely Aispuro Jesus Hernandez Jasmine Ferguson Ashley Aispuro Valeria Bonilla Alyssa Lopez Nikki Enriquez Marilyn Guerrero Camila Lopez Camila Lopez Jasmine Ferguson Estrella Rochin Mishell Dominguez Mirza Liahut Darwin Serrano Amelia Richards Marianna Rodriguez Joe Mejia Helen Castillo Katthy Lizarraga Camila Lopez Melany Cortez Mariana Lopez Mirza Liahut Katrina Larson Sharlize Pettite
Young Fun Life Adolescents Onjah Missed Call Multiples Shout Circus Dreams Luft Balloons 2 a.m . (Scary) Movie Night Monkey Awsten Night Friendly Reminder Fierce Be the Inspiration City Mexican Mural Language, Gender, and Culture Soak Endless Pique Path Eros Hello Darling What a Surprise Stone Cold Love Perfection Plastic Surgery That’s so Gay Accepted Charcoal Portrait
28 29 29 30 30-31 32 33 33 34-35 36 36 37 37 38 39-42 42 43 44-45
Poetry Photography Photography Mixed Media Poetry Graphite Mixed Media Mixed Media Poetry Digital Illustration Photography Digital Illustration Digital Illustration Watercolor Short Story Photography Photography Letter
46 46 47 48 48 49 50-51 51 52 53 54
Photography Photography Poetry Digital Illustration Digital Illustration Digital Illustration Short Story Mixed Media Photography Poetry Charcoal
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Focus is You
Cameo Leslie Valazquez
Diana Martin
Pink Ladies
Piruza Torosyan
9
Two Foxes
The Hunter Alyssa Menendez
Jazlyn Pinon
Friendship in the Forest
Kassandra Acosta
Wolf of the World Mishell Dominguez
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Sun Kissed
Daniela Berumen
Hazel Chocolate Ruby Mejia
Dear Little Sister
Viivixn Argueta
My little sister that's right just nine with a big heart small and beautiful
I love your smile. I remember the night I heard you cry, there was a blackout at home. I searched for you and carried you in my arms, scared of the dark I was at the time
followed the light and rocked you till you fell asleep. You're grown up and want to be held again, shedding tears thinking the world is out to get you.
It kills me how fast you are maturing, the little girl inside of you is starting to fade. I'm starting to get scared because I don't want to lose you. You're noticing how big and terrifying this world can be. I always want to help you feel safe. But you know your big sister is growing up too ‌‌ She will always not be there to fight your battles, I want you to be strong, but know she loves you and has you on her mind Don't ever feel alone, she's thinking of you too.
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Iridescent
Jasmine Ferguson
Hallucination Ashley Aispuro
Borderline
Alyssa Lopez
I can feel the cold ground beneath me. Pacing. The familiar numbing of my fingers persist. Breathing. My body is here with me, Yet my head is elsewhere. Suddenly, everything is set aflame Melting deeper and De ep er I'm Alone, But I can hear everyone talking. Something grabs my hand gently, But I don't think bruises are gentle. Please don't ever let go.
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Vault of Heaven Mishell Dominguez
Fiery
Marylyn Guerrero
Spirits
Rachel Garcia 17
Blue Love
All Around
Helen Castillo
Amelia Richards
Blind in Love
Ollie Seril
Our relationship was real, rough, restless We fought over and over Day after day But I still love him One day he cheated I was tired of the “I'm sorry” It sounded like broken records But I still love him Many tell me “let him go” But I just can't He is the sun on a rainy day But I still love him He breaks me heart all the time But I will not stop loving him till the end of time Soon enough I would find out the truth But I still love him
How was I so foolish I was so blind He never loved me But I still loved him
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What About Love
Mark Alcaraz
Love is pretty neat But only if you find someone sweet Not if they want to be discreet Or when they don't show up when you want to meet Loving someone is a whirlwind of emotion It hurts when you know they have no notion Love can make your stomach churn as if in constant rotation But like rotation, no matter how much you think you're moving you don't reach a destination I think I fall in love to easily Sometimes I fall to fast Even though I try to make you mine I get so easily outclassed Love is intoxicating It feels like you're effortlessly ice skating But when the feeling isn't mutual it can be devastating Or you might end up with someone suffocating I'm scared to love someone who practices adultery They can be so pure you'd think they'd belong in a nunnery But then you get that feeling of uncertainty And you turn around and think “What made me so unworthy?� If I was given the chance to love I'd take it in a heartbeat I'd hold her hand and take a walk down Main Street I think then, my life would be complete So yeah, in spite of what I said, Love is pretty neat
Locks of Love
Amelia Richards
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Never Ending Lights Can Can Can Can Can
Benjamin Miramontes
you see that lights you feel the lights you see the lights you feel the lights you, can you
I can see the light Never doubt my mind Since I was that young boy That could've done much more But now I can feel what's right Even feel what's wrong My life filled with nothing but joy Until you reach one point That's said it was your fault I lost someone that is gone It put me on a different path Had to put everything on hold Yes everything on hold I lost the lights I can't see them now No I can't see them now Can Can Can Can Can
you see that lights you feel the lights you see the lights you feel the lights you, can you
Small city boy grown to a big kid now, a big kid now My life put on a different role And everything was left on hold I can feel them now But I can't see them now Even though my life went for a ride Now it's time to see the light It's what I've been missing It's what I can see now Never losing sight of my light That's what's gonna take this to it's flights Now it's time for you too see your lights Don't wanna lose your sights It's what's gonna haunt you Just hold in real tight Can Can Can Can Can Can
you see that lights you feel the lights you see the lights you feel the lights you, can you you see the lights 23
My Desert is My Sea
A Birthday Surprise
Ruby Mejia
Lizeth Avila
Let’s Eat
Rachel Garcia 25
Sakura Stroll
Josephine Saldana
9:00 a.m. Roslyn Burbano
Flamingos
Daniela Berumen
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Space Cat
Rachel Garcia
YIKES Nikki Enriquez
Urban Sunset
Diana Martin
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“Young Fun Life�
Viivixn Argueta
I'm told the right guy will come to you Am I supposed to sit around like a damsel in distress Can't I have fun while im still young
We've still got our lives to live Life's short,let me break some rules I've come out of my shell Follow me, I'll show you my ways I'll teach you to have some fun
Grab a bowl, we'll catch a movie Get up show off your latest moves Forget about boys and girls we still have a
lot of time for that What's with the faces, come join the club Tears and joy that's all you'll see here Throwing fits is ok too We all have our falls as long as we get back up Don't worry who's got your back, I've got you whole Trust, compassion and confidence is what I've got. You know you, you know me that's how we're cool
Grab a pen and paper we'll write a song Forget your devices, let's be old school.
Adolescents
Zachery Bernal
Onjah Jesus Morales
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Missed Call
Multiples
Ashely Aispuro
Jesus Hernandez
You know There was another version of you And I don't mean one or two But I mean many Many more of you
You'll never be able to meet them They're never in the Same room They do know all your friends As you know all theirs too These duplicates work is weird ways As this applies to everyone else too There is just as many of them As there are of you
They act one way with you and another when they're gone You only know one of them and that's the one you're hooked on Those friends of yours will do anything to get their way They plot and scheme behind closed doors Something that you don't know them for They talk, and they talk, and they talk All behind your line of sight They deceive, and they leave, and you receive Sympathy, from the side if theirs that's angel-kike We've all been hurt before But we all recover sometime No we don't Not all of us Not all of us can sleep right after trauma
For we dread that time of day to drift away Drift away into our land or memories and dreams For that is the time they come back to haunt us And affect our new hobbies and things These people won't ever leave us alone No matter how long it was ago And we don't let them leave because We don't know it's them that makes us Us. 33
Shout
Jasmine Ferguson
Circus Dreams
Ashley Aispuro
Valeria Bonilla Luft Balloons
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2 a.m.
Alyssa Lopez
The alarm rings loudly Invading my dreams while I slept soundly I don't understand why I have awoken The alarm didn't start, not a beep spoken Regardless, I am awake I don't know what to do Is the sleeping pill the one I should take? No, I decide to stay and do something new
Closing my eyes, I listened to the night Deep in thought, I didn't want any light I flew into another dream again Except, I was only half dreaming until then My dream was a day like any other Going through my life at my own pace But things seemed different, I had a lover I was afraid since I could not see their face
They were the perfect one for me But unfortunately to me, I had to leave “See you tomorrow� they said with a smile I thought nothing of it for that while The next night, I dream of them once more Again and again, it was the same thing At the end of it all, I wondered what for Why? Why was this happening I woke up, feeling terrified in bed A sweat dropped from my head After a while, I calmed down and sighed For some reason, I missed them and cried This person was not real I didn't even see their face for that means But I cannot doubt what I feel Even if it means hurting over dreams I look over at the clock by then Looking into my phone It was 3 A.M. And I was cold and alone. 37
(Scary) Movie Night Nikki Enriquez
Monkey
Marilyn Guerrero
Awsten Night Camila Lopez
Friendly Reminder Camila Lopez
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Fierce
Jasmine Ferguson
Be the Inspiration Estrella Rochin When I first came to the United States, I was almost 2. My parents and sisters had already arrived in Los Angeles a few days earlier and were only waiting for me. I came with a well-known friend of my mothers, Esmeralda. We were going to take a bus at Tijuana that would drop us off at the central station on Atlantic Ave in LA early in the morning; so, we had to wake up around 6am to make sure we wouldn’t miss it, but that was too early for me and I didn’t wake up so Esmeralda carried me. When the bus arrived, she placed our things inside and fixed my seatbelt. Once the bus driver came on the bus, all passengers were asked by an officer to show him their tickets and credentials. Esmeralda had our things ready in her purse so the officer didn’t take too long to inspect us and once everybody’s paperwork was checked we departed. Everything went smoothly and we made it to the other side. When we arrived at the central in LA, my family was already waiting for me. My mom was relieved to see me, as was everyone else and she began to ask Esmeralda questions. Did I wake up? Did anyone notice?
They had booked a bus early so that I would be asleep and not cry out for my mom when I realized that she wasn’t there. The credentials I used were not mine, they belonged to Esmeralda’s daughter. 41
My sisters were 7 and 8, and I was one when our parents decided to immigrate to the U.S. from Mexico. We didn’t know we were moving to a new place, an unfamiliar country. A country where everything would be strange, new, and different; not only to us, but to our parents as well. Nobody asked my sisters and I if we wanted to come; let alone if we would be willing to pay for a crime that we didn’t know we were committing. I would have to suffer the consequences of a crime I don’t even remember committing. A crime committed in hope of a better future, and a better education. A crime for a better life. I will always be grateful to this country for giving me the privilege of an exceptional education, and the opportunity to fulfill my potential. Both of my sisters attended and graduated from Montebello high school. My sisters were class of 2014 and class of 2015. I am currently attending MHS and will be class of 2020. My sisters, who are only 5 and 6 years older than me, were in a position to apply for the Deferred Actions for Childhood Arrivals program, or DACA, when they enrolled into high school. DACA allowed people known as “DREAMers,” who entered the country illegally as children to apply for protection from deportations and work permits if they met certain requirements. On the contrary, just when I enrolled into high school and finally became eligible to apply to the program President Trump annulled it.
DACA would provide me with a social security. A social security is necessary for employment, a driver permit, a driver’s license, a California ID, and financial programs for college such as FAFSA. Currently I see my friends getting their drivers permit while I can’t. one of the most crucial things I am missing out on right now at my age- 16- is having a job. Additionally, without social security I cannot qualify for programs such as Medicare, or a pension plan. Programs that my mother and father have payed taxes for. My parents have been working for America, and contributed to its prosperity, since their twenties in the early 2000’s but will not be compensated. They won’t be rewarded with retirement issued money for financial support. Their three daughters, the reason they were prompted to come, will have made their own independent lives. When they become older, they will have nothing left in this country to make them stay, and all that will be left to do is to return to Mexico. They will go back to see that their homes are not the way they used to be, and that their parents and siblings have grown and become different people. They’ll come back to a place that they almost don’t know and will see a reflection of who they used to be in people that they love but can’t seem to recognize. Nostalgia will sweep over them when they begin to miss their old home in America, like it did when they missed their first home in Mexico, and their self-identity will be torn in half. Still, I am certain that they will be able to reconnect to their roots and find themselves again with a part of America remaining in their hearts. 43
Like my parents, I know that I am Mexican and I’ve learned that I am an immigrant. But I have been taught the history and the rights that belong to the people in the country that I have grown up in. I have entrenched the belief that America is just, fair, and, equal. I have discovered love for this country as if it were mine just like my mother, father, and sisters have and therefore I know that I am American as well.
City
Mishell Dominguez
Mexican Mural
Mirza Liahut 45
Language, Gender, and Culture
Darwin Serrano
Dear Young Paisano, Its not always easy being brown and keeping your brown pride. When your parents say “No soy ni de aqui ni de alla” it’s difficult knowing whether you’re Mexican, American, or Chicano. With so many labels like Hispanic, Latino, and sometimes White all we can say about ourselves is said through our behavior. Sometimes our people are judged through the actions of a few we then are prevented from being individuals and we are all blamed. Other races don’t always get to meet and get to know our people and only know what we’re like from what they’ve heard from others, but unfortunately people like to focus on the negative. Maybe they expect the worst from us as a defense mechanism, to keep themselves safe. People choose to live with people like themselves because it is usually more comfortable to. That’s why we have sub-communities within the same city, like all the brown in East Los Angeles. We fear things that are different and keep our distance. It’s hard when you’re used to living within your subculture to leave your safety bubble and enter different communities. I know I feel uncomfortable when I head somewhere and don’t see any of my people, it feels like others focus on me. What I’m wearing suddenly becomes a ball and chain making me feel like I’m a dirty criminal. “Es un Cholo” is what they’re thinking, a flannel is suddenly an orange jumpsuit.
We, our people, sometimes do it to ourselves. We seclude ourselves in our small communities being close minded thinking we are feared or fearing others. We put social constraints on ourselves even within our families. We are taught to be embarrassed by wearing things that aren’t normal like: a pink shirt because its gay, a sarape because its too beaner, a sweater because we’d look white. This bullying is allowed by our parents and if we complain its because we are weak and delicate. So, by a young age we are taught that its wrong for a man to show weakness of any kind and must always act “manly” or in our words “ser un macho.” We bottle our emotions which usually ooze out into our behavior in negative ways. We even discriminate against ourselves. A Chicano might look down on a Mexican. A Mexican might not respect a person from El Salvador calling them a cerote, or turd. Even Mexicans don’t like other Mexicans, a Sinaloense will automatically hate, or at least be annoyed by, a michoacano. Even if they were born in the same place, we call our darker skinned brethren Negros, a common nickname meaning black. We are usually programed to have pride in our origins, this pride only leads to prejudice. What we don’t see or refuse to see is that we are all the same being born on the same planet. Keep an open mind and love your neighbor. Our people must educate ourselves about others and ourselves. I think the world would be a happier place if we did. With Respect, Darwin Serrano 47
Soak
Amelia Richards
Endless Pique Path
Marianna Rodriguez
Eros
Joe Mejia
My heart is as stiff as a stone It has been for the past fifteen years loneliness is all I've ever known But truly I feel the end is near Never felt before the fear feels clear It's the cruel kindness I've happen to meet One that consumes ones heart Not the path of death Nor the path of failing
This fear which roams near Appears in many forms My eyes dry from all of the tears I ponder about Eros questioning If it was his plan for me Cursed I began to feel The thought of love never felt real I decided to not be guided by the blight frightful ideas This feeling clung like a bee sting Eros I said will love ever approach
A whisper is heard clearly, my heart skipped a beat I feel Eros strengthen my heart He instigated my approach to you I took the risk My heart felt at home Warm thoughts flowed all over Our hearts began to crossover At last, I have found my four leaf clover 49
Hello Darling Helen Castillo
What a Surprise
Katthy Lizarraga
Stone Cold Love Camila Lopez 51
Perfection
Melany Cortez
I'm trapped in a person of which I am not proud. Looking in the mirror as it tells me all of my imperfections. Short hair with a straw-like feel. Eye-bags giving the impression as if I never slept. Oh, how I hope to still reach perfection. I have a lot of insecurities. Too short, too fat, too loud, too blunt, the list goes on. I can pick out a million things wrong with me. Some may say I'm my own bully. Oh, how I hope to still reach perfection. I am unable to speak my mind, another problem that is a part of me. I show a faรงade of confidence, but inside I'm a scared little girl. Pretending is my only escape. Pretending is my only thing keeping me from being overfilled with the stress of the life of a young teenage girl in high school. Oh, how I hope to still reach perfection. Perfection. What comes to mind when you think of this word? Did you think of a perfect body like that of a model such as Gigi Hadid, Kylie Jenner, Kaia Gerber? Did you think of money like that of a billionaire such as Elon Musk or Michael Jordan? Or did you think of a world where nothing wrong ever happened to you, where you never felt pain, anger, or sadness? These thoughts run through my head when I wish to be perfect. So, will I ever reach perfection?
Will this ever happen? Or will I never reach my goal? Physical perfection is up to me. Working hard and earning my place in this world is up to me. I'm not so sure I will reach perfection.
Will this ever happen? Or will I never reach my goal? Physical perfection is up to me. Working hard and earning my place in this world is up to me. I'm not so sure I will reach perfection. I can say I'm perfect and maybe even for a second believe it. But I know that I care to much of what others think. And that is what keeps me from actually being perfect. As I write a this poem, i am struggling to make it perfect in fear that you won't like it. Deep inside I know that for as long as I live , I will never be happy with who I am. I will never be perfect and that is my greatest fear. I will never reach perfection.
Plastic Surgery Mariana Lopez
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That’s so Gay
Mirza Liahut
Accepted
Katrina Larson
Some people think it's okay But my parents think a different way And it scares me that there'll be a day That my parents find out I'm gay They're religious, so they believe That it is only Adam and Eve If I tell them they wouldn't believe They'd start to grieve and probably force me to leave
Being gay is like eating from the forbidden fruit Or maybe even worse than being a prostitute To them it is an illness But who I like is none of their business I want to tell them but I'll get sad Because all they do is just get mad And just keep saying that this is bad But what's so wrong, mom and dad They always tell me to be me So why can't they see I'm trying my best at being me So why won't they let me be
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Charcoal Portrait
Sharlize Pettite
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