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Theodor Seuss Geisel The Early Works of Dr. Seuss Volume 1
Theodor Seuss Geisel
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CHECKER BOOK PUBLISHING GROUP
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Seuss, Dr. Theodor Seuss Geisel. p. cm. ISBN 1-933160-01-2 (v. 1 : alk. paper) 1. Seuss, Dr. I. Title. PS3513.E2 [A6 2005] 813'.52--dc22
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"Dr. Seuss represents boundless imagination and truly dynamic theories of design." Troy Brownfield, Editor-in-Chief of ShotgunReviews.com
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and Journalism Professor, St. Mary-of-the-Woods College
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CONTRIBUTORS Theodor Seuss Geisel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Writer / Illustrator
COMPILATION Mark Thompson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Publisher Constance Taylor . . . . . . . . . . . Managing Editor Angie Dayton . . . . Graphic Design, Cover Design Trevor Goodman . . . . . . . . . . . . . Graphic Design Mike Gregg . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Graphic Design Stani Butler . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Controller Special thanks goes to: Charles D. Cohen, author of “The Seuss, the Whole Seuss and Nothing But the Seuss”, for all of his help and for sharing material from his Oolongblue collection that constitute the advertising campaign sections of this book.
and Troy Brownfield, Editor-in-Chief of ShotgunReviews.com and Journalism Professor, St. Mary-of-the-Woods College, for front cover quote. "Dr. Seuss represents boundless imagination and truly dynamic theories of design." Dr. Seuss is TM Dr. Seuss Enterprises. All Rights Reserved. Images that appear in the chapter “An Omnibus of Schoolboy Howlers” are from Herrings Go About the Sea in Shawls by Alexander Abingdon, copyright 1931 by The Viking Press, © renewed 1959. Used by permission of Viking Penguin, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Macy-Westchester advertisements © Macy-Westchester, 1937 Collection and Design Components © 2005 Checker Book Publishing Group Checker Book Publishing Group 228 Byers Road, Suite 201 Miamisburg, OH 45342 Visit us online at www.checkerbpg.com
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No Solicitations Accepted. ISBN # 1-933160-01-2 Printed in China
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IMAGINE Imagine if Elvis was the lead singer of the Beatles, or William Shakespeare wrote all of Spielberg’s movies, or Stephen King’s novels were made into GRAPHIC novels illustrated by Picasso… you begin to see the overwhelming popularity and pervasiveness these artists could possibly have enjoyed to the extent Dr. Seuss defined children’s literature - but in his case, level of talent was contained in one man. Combining an ingenious mastery of cartooning with the authorship skill of any contemporary before or since in all forms of the written word the man born into the world as Theodor Seuss Geisel not only entertained an audience... he created an underlying improved morality for an entire globe struggling to cope with the changes brought by an industrial age. Seeing its fruition in the sixties “Love” generation the scholars at the time espoused Kerouac and the like for a generation which preferred love not war and brightness over darkness. I contend that it simply was the first generation to come of age having read Dr. Seuss children’s books. Morality, spirituality, individuality… all learned through the carefully crafted cartoonish lens of Dr. Seuss’s view of humanity. Expertly softened for the child’s palette; human foibles were cloaked in the guise of animal characters, who as a matter of fact also had all threatening animal traits such as claws, sharp fangs, and glowing eyes removed … all the while human frailties such as the ever present pot belly were thrown in to make each lovable creature more recognizable and inexplicably… someone we already knew. The world learned the meaning of Christmas, the din of pollution, and the hollowness of status symbols all through his eyes and never better told us before or since. What most of the world did not know is that the good doctor had a lengthy career as a commercial cartoonist prior to affecting an entire planet’s offspring. His wit, style, and talent sharpened with seemingly every pen stroke he made over this period. Checker is proud to present many of the images here for the first time since publication - an extraordinary look into the development of possibly the world’s most recognized artists.
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I proudly give you… the Early Works of Dr. Seuss.
Mark Thompson Checker BPG
Chapter 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Dr. Seuss Biography Chapter 2
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This is Ann Chapter 3
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Atlas Ad Campaign Chapter 4
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Judge Magazine Illustrations Chapter 5
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Macy-Westchester Advertisements Chapter 6
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World War II Editorial Cartoons Chapter 7
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Chilton Wing-Flow Pens Chapter 8 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
An Omnibus of Schoolboy Howlers Chapter 9
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LPC Ad Campaign Chapter 10
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Liberty Magazine Illustrations
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Born on March 2, 1904 in Springfield, Massachusetts to parents Theodor and Henrietta Geisel, Theodor (Ted) Seuss Geisel’s penchant for nonsense manifested itself
the humor magazine on
early in life.
campus, was where Ted was
Ted’s father worked at
the Springfield Zoo, and would often
able to explore various
take Ted and his older sister
styles of cartooning and
Marnie on behind-the-scenes tours.
humor, until he was unceremo-
Ted took to bringing along a
niously kicked off the staff
sketchbook on these walks, and
of the Lantern after being
began drawing wildly exaggerated ani-
caught throwing a raucous,
mals based upon what he saw at
alcohol-fueled party during
the zoo.
Prohibition.
Other childhood influences
This happened,
include his mother reciting her “pie
however, during his senior year
chants” to him to lull him to sleep.
of college, so any ignominy he
Henrietta’s pie chants were reminiscent of her childhood as a baker’s daughter, creating the rhythmic chants in order to remember the types of pies they had for sale that day. Ted was involved in cartooning and writing from a young age, first for his high school newspaper, the Central Recorder, and then when he went to Dartmouth for college. B06E6519-8D58-4264-BB9A-0A825F515FCE
The Jack-O-Lantern,
might have endured was at least short lived.
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After graduation, Ted went to Lincoln College in Oxford for a short time, studying to be an English professor, but ended up dropping out after a year. This decision was encouraged by Helen Palmer, a fellow Lincoln student and Ted’s future wife, who had noticed his doodles in class and told him that he should pursue art rather than a professorship.
After sitting through a
two hour lecture concerning the punctuation in King Lear, Ted was inclined Once in the city, Ted
to agree with Helen, and he quit.
landed a job at Judge In 1927, Ted returned to his child-
magazine for a salary of
hood home in Springfield, where he
$75 a week, an amount that
continued to draw and write.
was often paid with due
He
also began to send his cartoons
bills.
and writings to every single maga-
check” consisted of 100 car-
zine and newspaper editor in New
tons of shaving cream.
York.
was the beginning of what
After six months of hearing
This
nothing in return for his efforts,
would be Ted’s biggest break
Ted received a letter from The
yet . . . the advertising cam-
Saturday Evening Post and a check
paign with Standard Oil that
for $25 . . . one of his cartoons
would last seventeen years, all
was going to be published!
because of one cartoon that
The
sale boosted his confidence enough to take the final plunge and move to New York. B06E6519-8D58-4264-BB9A-0A825F515FCE
One memorable “pay-
appeared in Judge.
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July 1927 – Sells his first cartoon to The Saturday Evening Post for $25, moves to New York City October 22, 1927 – Debuts in Judge magazine 1928 – Begins his advertising campaign for Flit bug spray 1928-1935 – His cartoons appear regularly in magazines such as Life, Vanity Fair, and Liberty as well as Judge.
March 23, 1929 – Judge features Ted on the cover for first time, also marking the first time any of his cartoons were printed in color.
1929 – Ted creates an advertising scheme for L.P.C. Building Contractors.
March 8, 1931 – Ted’s mother, Henrietta Seuss Geisel, passes away.
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1931 – Ted’s first break into books comes when Viking Press calls to ask him to illustrate “Boners,” a reprint of a British best-seller collecting humorous factual misrepresentations by schoolchildren.
1935 – Ted signs on with the Hearst newspapers and begins to draw “Heiji”, his first and only foray into a weekly newspaper comic strip. He also creates an advertising campaign for Chilton Wing-Flow pens.
1932 – Ted takes a freelance job with Liberty magazine
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1947 – Ted begins writing children’s books in earnest, publishing about one book a year until his death in 1991.
January 13, 1946 – Ted is released from Army service
January 7, 1943 – Ted joins Frank Capra’s Signal Corps on an army commission and is assigned to the Information and Education Division
December 8, 1942 – The US Congress declares war on Japan
September 14, 1945 – Marnie, Ted’s older sister, dies at the age of forty-three
December 11, 1942 – The US Congress declares war on Germany and Italy
December 7, 1942 – Pearl Harbor is bombed April 26, 1942 – Ted’s first cartoon for PM magazine is published
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1937-1940 – Ted publishes four books, including “The Seven Lady Godivas”, Ted’s first attempt at adult humor. His book writing 1936 – Ted begins work on his first children’s will be put on hiatus for book, “And to Think That I Saw it on seven years as he becomes Mulberry Street,” which is rejected by more and more interested twenty-seven publishers before being picked in political cartooning and up by Vanguard Press. The Atlas motor the war effort. products campaign is created by Ted. 1937 – Ted is hired to create an advertising campaign for the MacyWestchester newspapers
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Translated from Merlin’s Memoirs By Dr. Theophratus Seuss
YE GREATE REAL ESTATE BOOME
T
here was a time when all ye knights did laugh me off as “Foolish Merlin, ye Magician”. I was, forsooth, an awful flop in social life and business. For all that I could do was stupid parlor tricks with playing cardes, and taking rabbits out of high silk helmets. But then, one Sundae in ye Times, I chanced across an Advt. of ye Pellman Institute of Camelot. It quoth: Young Fellowe!
happy dream, for everything they own is right at hande. Queen Gwen doth all the cooking on a jolly little range beside ye bed. And if perchance the heathen hordes should suddenly besiege ye town, ye Kyng can grab his instruments of war and dash out quickly to ye fray. Whereas when he lived in ye palace, his arms were scattered over ninety-seven roomes and he could never gather them until the fight was well-nigh over. Ye knights have followed Arthur’s suit, and every flat is now be-occupied. E’en ye topmost suite up in ye Northeast Tower. Sir Bevedere and his good lady, Nan, have got the lease on this. But they do find the height a trifle inconvenient, insofar as Bevedere cannot climb up ye tower in heavy armor. And so he hath not been up home to see his wife for more than thirteen weeks. But she doth wig-wag all ye news to him, and he to her, and in ye longe run I know they will be used to this and not complaine. Praise to ye Pellman Institute! For it hath made me widely famed as “Merlin ye Realtor.” And soon I shall put up some more and bigger Apts. with more and smaller roomes at higher prices. And I shall be ye richest gent in all of Merrie England!
“Ye Kyng and Queen are happy in their cozy one-room Apt.” Canst thou hold thy head up high in public? Or is thy tail betwixt thy leggs? Clipp off and send ye coupon, and we will send to thee our knobby little Booklet, ‘Scientific Mind-Trayning, or ye Rapid Road to Riches.’” I sent ye coupon in… and dide it do me good? Dunt esk! I trayned my mind so well within ye fort night that soon I was invited out in circles where our noble Kyng, himself, cannot break into. (And he hath read four feet nine inches of ye Five-Foot Booke Shelf, and is indeed a social lion.)
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But social prestige is not all that I have won. For I have put mine newly-born intelligence to work, and have designed and built ye first Apartment Castle in ye realm. It stands but fourty minutes gallop out of Camelot, and though it hath no running water, it hath dandy central heat. This comes from half a dozen fiery dragons chained up in ye basement, and everie morn at six o’clock ye janitor doth anger them to get up steam. At first I could not get a single tenant, but finally mine powers of argument did get Kyng Arthur and his queen to give up living in their large and musty palace and to move into a ducky oneroom suite, and thereby set ye fashion. Here their life is just a
“But she doth wig-wag all ye news to him.”
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Translated from Merlin’s Memoirs By Dr. Theophratus Seuss
How Arthur’s Gobs Will Check ye Yellow Peril
T
oday hath been Defense Day, and all of Camelot is madly patriotic. Ye Knyghts have marched parading through the streets fully fifty times, as have ye Veterans of ye Foreign Wars. Ye Campfire Girls have donated a grindstone to Kyng Arthur to keep Excalibur, his sword, forever sharp. And there hath been a castle-to-castle canvass of the town to raise Ye NickelPolish Fund to keep his knightly armour ever bright. But best of all, ye members of ye Table Round today did vote three score and fifteen pounds and twenty shillings toward the building of new men-of-war. Kyng Arthur later said, in speaking to ye members of ye press, “Though I steadfastly do believe that armaments should be cut down and not increased, I am forced into this against my will. As goode Sir Randolf Hearst hath often said, we must protect ourselves against the Japs!” And so our foxy kyng showed them charts and other drawings of divers men-ofwars and spoke as follows:
have a lot of churls named “subs” and they do swim about beneath ye waves and bore big holes into our ships with gimlets. But no more shall they get away with this. Sir Brumby he shall hunt them down with this new boat, the onehorse treadmill chaser (patent pending). As for the vessels of the offense, there will be ye twelve-pound boulder tosser (which is in Figure B). This ship is operated by a crew of two, ye Yokel and ye Yokel’s Mate. Ye Yokel, dressed in extra-heavy armour, leaping down upon ye springboard can sometimes throw a
Ye Volunteer Getter Gondola. Then a pessimistic gent did say to Kyng Arthur, “Lissen here! Thou cannot have a bigger fleet, for there be not enough of men in Camelot to man the boats.”
“Ye Figure A doth represent ye Chaser of ye Subs. Our enemies do
Ye chaser of ye subs.
Ye twelve-pound Boulder Tosser.
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rock for half a mile. This death-distributing device, I ween, is far more the destructive instrument the world hath known since ye invention of the brass knuckles, in ye year 521 A.D.”
“Horseradish!” quote the Kyng. “Thou speakest through thy helmet! For I have just designed this Figure C. When it is built, it will be filled with soft and silken pillows, and every moonlight night we will allow the knights to go a-wooing in it free of charge. And they will float about with pretty maidens ‘mongst the lily-ads and swans, where they will chortle love songs to each other. And this will bring about many weddings every year, which in the course of time, if all goes well, will bring about new gents to man the ships. “With such defense as this the Japs will never get us. Fair Camelot will lead the world forever!”
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Translated from Merlin’s Memoirs By Dr. Theophratus Seuss
SIR PARCHESI’S VOW
“I feel so very strange,” mused he one day, while he was strolling with his squire. “I know that something is quite lacking in mine life, yet what it is I cannot say!”
W
hen Sir Parchesi was a stripling, his olde man one day tooke him aside. “Mine son,” spake he, with teardroppes in his eyes, ‘when I was a young I had a brilliant future, but (lak-a-day) I never did succeed. The trouble was mine face was far too handsome, and ye wimmen dragged me down.” And saying so, the father made his son give oath that he would give his life to slaying foe, and never would he taste a maiden’s lips.
“Can it be love?” did chirp a pretty voice from out a thicket. Parchesi wheeled about to see a lovely blonde maiden smiling at him… and then, at last, he knew he was a man! “Oh! Oath be damned!” he roared. And calling to his squire he spake, “Quick, boy! And ride post haste to town and fetch a plummer. For he must get mine bean out of this can so I might pet this maid!” And off the squire did race to town. While he was gone the maid did kiss Parchesi’s manly nose, for there was nothing else to do. At last the anxious lovers heard the clattering of hoofs. With foaming steed, the breathless plummer had arrived!
And later, when Parchesi had attained his fulle growth, his father had his tailor build a suit of armour “Ye stripling tooke a vow! round the lad. It was of three-fold thickness, and they locked the locks and threw away the keys. The helmet was designed so nothing but Parchesi’s nose protruded.
“Quick, fellow!” begged the ardent red hotte knight. “Oh rip this cursed helmet off mine caged-in dome!” The plummer hung his head. “I would, alack,” quoth he in shame, “but I cannot. I have forgot mine tools.” And thus did Sir Parchesi keep his vow.
“Now he is safe from hotte babes,” the father said. “And he will wax successful.” Thus locked in tight, the lad passed many years. He won spurs and soon became the greatest knight that e’er did wield a sword. He fought with so much vigor that he knew no Freudian desires, and he did never wish to stalk a wench.
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But then there came a time when all the foes in the land were conquered; the lad was forced to lay off work. In quiet Camelot Parchesi grew most restless, and he did forsooth wander listlessly about the woods.
“At Last! A welcome clattering of hoofs”
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and as business was rather dull, veils not having been worn since October 1921, Rosa closed up shop and rushed home.
L
ast week an event of widereaching significance took place in a poor but comfortable dwelling in the Bronx. Margot, a mysterious lady clamoring to be the one time morganatic grandchild of the exiled Count Raymond of Tripoli as well as niece to Phillip Agustus and Clovis, the twin pretenders to Burbon thrones of France, Spain, and several less important but nevertheless not-to-beoverlooked states in the Levant, gave birth to an eightpound baby girl named Reuben P. Schmaltz. All this happened in the front room of a fourth floor flat belonging to Mr. and Mrs. Norval Schnittkind, proprietors of a small radio shop on the ground floor of the same identical building. They, however, are in no way related to Margot, and as a matter of fact they had never laid eyes on her prior to that day, when they found her, apparently starving on their doorstep, and asked her in for a snack. They had left her alone in the room momentarily to wait on a customer, and while they were out you know what happened. (See funny illustration).
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At the time that the event took place, Rosa Schnittkind, a first cousin to Mr. and Mrs. Schnittkind, was at the post office where she conducts a stamp-licking bureau for the convenience of ladies in veils. Soon after, she was very much surprised to receive an urgent phone call asking her to hurry up to “Schnittkind Dove-rest,” as the flat is sometimes called,
The upshot of the hasty conference of Schnittkinds was this:- The Schnittkinds, embarrassed by the event and not quite believing Margot’s claim to nobility, decided that something must be done. So a night letter was dispatched, collect, to another cousin, the wealthy Delicatessen King, Jake Schnittkind of Milwaukee. Jake was a man of affairs. He controlled the caraway seed market, and also had a corner on boullion cubes. And every year his Norwegian chain of amalgamated herring picklers pickled over a billion amalgamated herring to his everlasting glory, with a facsimile of his face printed in three colors on the dorsal fin of each.
“You can believe it or not,” said the Governor of North Carolina, “but I’m waiting for a street car.” “Boloney!” said the Governor of South Carolina.
The night letter reached him just as he was arriving home from a zooming trip in his expensive silver-plated monoplane, and as relatives in the Bronx has hoped, Cousin Jake rose magnificently to the occasion and solved their perplexing problem. He very ingeniously confided the news to an utter stranger, who in an equally dexterous fashion (see grid-graph) saw to it that it came to the cars of the police. The police, of course, took the mother and babe to the station where they were definitely proved to be spies on the payroll of Moscow, striving by subtle machinations to undermine the very backbone and basis of American solidarity. I refer, of course, to the working man’s family. Thus, by a deft piece of action, was another Red Menace prevented.
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He – A fine sort of lover you are! Here we hike six miles out of town so’s we can hold hands… and what do you do but forget to bring your muff!
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CROSS SECTION OF THE IZAAK WALTON CLUB Enabling the business man to get in two weeks’ fishing trip during his lunch hour.
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The Wise Old Dobbin Galloped to the Parson’s! Bashful Suitor—Are . . . are . . you maternally inclined? Equally Bashful Maiden—Well . . . errr . . . well, I do adore making cats’ cradles, sir.
The Height of Deception
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Taking advantage of his Best Girl’s Astigmatism.
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Art Competition for Amateurs! !! Young Men !! Are you the type of virile young fellow who itches to lay his hand on a pencil and draw pretty pictures? Well, here’s your opportunity to develop all your latent talents. The picture of the young lady above is complete but for two minor details. Do you know what they are? If so, draw them in and send us your result, with $45.00 in one-cent stamps.
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The boy who draws the best pair of you know will receive a handsome prize. We will also tell him the young lady’s telephone number.
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An Ancient News Picture The above photograph was found in recent excavations under the city of Rome. Noted archaeologists say it is from the Sunday Roto Section of Rome Graphic, and appeared in B.C. 1073. The picture depicts that sly satyr Flit undoing the work of the unpleasant Insecta.—ADVT.
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A new invention which makes it possible for you to leave home for a week. The kitten is shown waiting for Tuesday’s meal.
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T
HE figures on this page were reproduced from an old Egyptian tablet of charades for little folks and grown-ups, and was recently turned over to the Smith & Wesson Institute by a Dr. Wort, who in turn was turned over to the psychopathic ward of the city hospital. This quaint old relic of a bygone civilization represents a four-syllable word, but so far the best brains in the country (advt.) have failed to reach a solution. A few symbols have been interpreted: the lovely statue representing the D. A. R. is holding aloft a symbolic figure of the Netherlands (probably a representation of the literary merit of Hendrik Van Loon), and indubitably the figure on the extreme right is a penguin at rest on a mushroom. However, there has been no interpretation of this. any money back that might have been sent to defray the operating cost of the charade department of JUDGE. Anyone guessing the right word three times in succession will be given not more than five nor less than three turtles.
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The point is, you must buckle on your thinking cap and let us know just what you think the formation of turtles and the butterfly and all that really meant to those funny old Egyptians. Anyone guessing the four-syllable word will get
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VOCAL TRAINING BEFORE
THE
DAYS
OF
LUCKIES
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Concert Singer’s Wife—Hubert, your throat is improving! I do believe it’s the Battleship Cut Plug!
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Judge’s Fifty-Fifty Contest No. 7
POLITICIAN—Here, my good man! Where are you going with that haddock? FISHERMAN — …………………………………………
J
udge will award a prize of $25 for the cleverest second line in the above conversation. Study the situation; and write the funniest, snappiest line you can think of.
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In case two or more persons submit the same winning line, $25 will be awarded to each. Any reader of Judge may compete. Any number of lines may be submitted, but each one MUST be submitted on a POSTCARD, or a sheet of paper the size of a postcard, OR IT WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED. No answers will be returned. Contest No. 7 closes May 24, 1928. The winning answer will appear in the June 23rd issue of Judge. No. 8 will appear next week. Send your answers to the Fifty-Fifty Editor of Judge, 627 West 43rd St., New York City. Mark the number of the contest on the front of your envelope.
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The Pitfalls That Beset Our Infant Prodigies
The Prodigy as a Smart Alek
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The thing that ruins more prodigies than anything else is their love to show off. Young Prescot Jivler, the French Horn Wizard, for example, recently equipped his tricycle with a thirty-foot horn in place of the usual bell. Last week, when Jivler misjudged the height of the Holland Tunnel, his career was brought to a tragic conclusion.
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The Pitfalls That Beset Our Infant Prodigies A Whole Career Wrecked by Luck The most difficult sonata ever written is Mozart's "BN Duet for Kettledrum and Thrush." Even if the drummer is a genius, the thrush, who warbles the accompaniment, can spoil everything. Prodigy Georgie Flueh found this out during this debut last week at Carnegie Hall when the thrush carelessly laid an egg in the drum. This made one boom too many, and poor Georgie was hissed into oblivion.
The Hazards of Comb Playing
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Two years ago, the melodies of Thrubber Z. Nalgon were enchanting the concert world from Newton Center to Johore. Never had anyone heard sweeter tones than those this gifted stripling produced on his Comband-Tissue-Paper. But Nalgon was forced to retire when stricken with that scourge of all players of the comb - hair lip.
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Adam's Apples Are Coming Back Stylish and Smart, They Are Also Important to the Social and Economic Life of the Community The Adam's Apple as a Bridge Signaler A simple system for telling your partner what to lead! These signals are easily mastered. The Spades signal (in which Adam's Apple completely circumnavigates the neck) is the only one that presents any difficulty at all.
Can Adam's Apple Energy Be Harnessed?
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In less than a million years, scientists tell us, our coal and wood resources will be exhausted. How then will our steamboats and railroads be operated? What then will keep the wheels of industry in motion? "The answer is in the up-and-down action of the Adam's Apple," says Joachim Mueller, German physicist. As a proof of its potentiality, Herr Mueller is shown operating the family icecream freezer by Adam's Apple power.
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Adam's Apples Are Coming Back Stylish and Smart, They Are Also Important to the Social and Economic Life of the Community
Are You Flat-Throated?
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Do women spurn you because of your neck? Don't despair! You, too, can have a beautiful Adam's Apple! The "Little Nemo" Artificial Adam's Apple costs only a dollar, and cannot be told from the genuine thing.
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Our Emotional Apparati and How They are Controlled The Ardour, the Gumption and the Dander all demand as much attention as the Teeth and the Nails By Dr. Theophrastus Seuss
The Care of the Gumption One part of the human equipment that should never be slighted is the Gumption. To cure one of chronic laziness and sloth, stir the Gumption vigorously on the first Tuesday following the first Monday of every month.
Where Is the Dander, and How To Get It Up?
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There are two divergent schools of thought concerning the Dander, each claiming that it is situated in a different locality. Hence, when you want to get your Dander Up, you must employ two doubtful methods alternately. (note—The same confusion exists in regards to the Ire, which may be raised in the same fashion.)
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Our Emotional Apparati and How They are Controlled The Ardour, the Gumption and the Dander all demand as much attention as the Teeth and the Nails By Dr. Theophrastus Seuss
The World Now ArdourConscious
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A few years ago, no lady could mention her Ardour without a blush. Today, happily, people are more frank. They have their Ardours dampened regularly by experts, and discuss the treatment afterwards without the least embarrassment.
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Tardy Laurels for Forgotten Brows
B-P-Hot Wizard at Last Revealed! The old theory that the game of BeansPorridge-Hot was invented by Alaskan Indians was conclusively quashed last month by the Thinsen-Hurlidigh Expedition for Conclusively Quashing the Theory that B-P-Hot was Invented by Alaskan Indians. In the far Klondike they found "Lone Tod" Welch, who for forty years has amused himself with a B-P-Hot playing machine of his own devising. And all this while the plagiaristic Indians have nabbed the credit!
The Originator of the Ditto
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From Munich comes the news that the Inventor of the Ditto has at last been discovered. He is Herr Gustav Ditt, and the original ditto marks still appear on his upper lip whenever he smiles. Too lazy to beckon waiters by hand, Ditt signals them with a broad grin that separates his moustache in twain. As he has been drinking since '97, two black jots are now universally symbolic for, "One more just like the last!"
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Tardy Laurels for Forgotten Brows
Kelp the Crusader
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Never has the U.S. faced a worse crisis than in 1887, after the invention of the Jack-in-the-Box. It had become a fad overnight, and everyone was having a whale of a time when someone asked, "What is its plural?" "Jack-in-the-Boxes!" claimed some. Others hotly insisted, "Jacks-in-the-Box!" Civil war seemed inevitable, when Zeke Kelp's Crusade won a compromise on, "Jacks-in-theBoxes." Unthanked for forty-three years, Kelp will be honored next week when N.Y. City unveils a hydrant in his name.
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Tardy Laurels (continued)
A Statue to Bung When Winfield invented the bathtub in 1460, he made one serious omission, He invented a drain, but forgot to invent the bung. Consequently the water always ran out and made you mad. Readily sensing what was wrong, Sir Joshua Bung devised the ingenious stopple that bears his name. Commemorating his inspiration, a lovely statue has just been unveiled in Kraut Park, near Secondtooth, Ark.
The Jacques Brioche Memorial Medal
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Just 467 years ago J. Brioche, French savant, took a group of six onions and compared it to another group containing half a dozen onions. To his amazement he discovered that each group contained the same number of onions. This audacious experiment gave us that foolproof expression, "It's six of one and a half a dozen of the other." Unacclaimed for centuries, Brioche has at last been immortalized in bronze by the metal-working class of the Junior High School in Brisked, Minn.
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Tardy Laurels (continued)
The Great Zakkx Pageant
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Anyone can invent something complicated, but the real inventor is one who invents something simple. Ages ago, for instance people stood up all the time . . . simply because no one had yet invented sitting down. Then came Xax Zakkx. A man of wisdom, Zakkx sat down, and ever since we have enjoyed the fruits of his genius. Last week Zakkx was extended a long belated ovation by a pageant in his honor in South Herb, Mont.
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Tardy Laurels (continued)
The Jack Robinson Fraud Credit for inventing that fine old phrase, "Quicker than you can say Jack Robinson," has always gone to Jack Robinson of London. Last June, however, Robinson admitted he had stolen the idea from an Eskimo—the original wording being, "Quicker than you can say Iiijiwik Iiiijiblong." To make amends, a special Arctic expedition has just ferreted out Mr. Iiiijiblong and bestowed on him the world's appreciation.
The Original "Ups-A-Daisy" Baby
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Everyone knows how the jolly pastime of "Upsa-Daisy" was invented . . . how Tim O'Hara bounced a tot on his knee while Jim O'Hara looked up names of flowers . . . How, after bouncing him 34, 798 times, they found that Daisy was the flower he most enjoyed being bounced to. The O'Haras are famous—but only now have we learned the baby's name. Next Thursday will be observed as Tommy Phipps Day throughout the nurseries of the land!
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Tardy Laurels (continued)
The Inventor of Up-Your-Sleeve-Laughing
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How many of us, while enjoying the sport of laughing up our sleeve, ever give a thought to Tinchcape Gillingsworthy, the man who made it possible? Before Gillingsworthy invented sleevelaughing, hundreds of necks were broken annually by people trying to laugh down their shoe backs or into the cuffs of their pants. The new Gillingsworthy memorial at Canajoharie shows graphically just how much we owe to this emancipator's genius.
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Tardy Laurels (continued)
Voluntary Martyrs to Spot-Marking When one assumes that "X has always marked the spots where bodies are found, he is doing grave injustice to the three Twidd brothers, late of London. Prior to their time spots were marked with any old letter that happened into the spot-marker's head. Crusaders for unification, the three brothers premarked their own spots "X" and destroyed themselves. "X" has since been adopted as a tribute to their sincerity.
A Pioneer in Child-Upbringing
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Spelling out words so your child won't catch on is now a universal strategy. But only after twenty years of usage has its origin been traced to its inventrix . . . Mrs. Uggdugg, of West Icicle, Greenland. Mrs. U. well deserves our plaudits for her originality . . . but twice as many plaudits for her bravery. The mere fact she dared spell "candy" in Eskimo marks her as a fearless pioneer.
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Tardy Laurels (continued)
Unsung Enrichers of the Tongue
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One never knows how much work it is to coin a simple expression. Take, for instance, the difficulties met by the Coining Academy in coining "As much privacy as a fish in a fish bowl." For months they were undecided whether to make it "As much privacy as a bird in a bird cage." Only through great personal sacrifice on the part of two members did the academy secure the first-hand data necessary to making their choice.
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A Brief Resume of the Eyebrow Situation An Anatomical Discussion By Dr. Theophrastus Seuss Clearing Up a Misunderstanding Many people believe that the terms "high-brow" and "low-brow" actually have something to do with the human forehead. This is erroneous. What they really refer to is a man's capacity as a brau drinker. In Germany, the gentleman who can down a high brau is accepted as an aristocrat. If you can only absorb a low brau, you are considered a member of an inferior social stratum.
How We Have Garbled an Ancient Practice
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In prehistoric days, when a wife displeased her husband, he punished her by stringing beads on her eyebrows. (At that time, feminine eyebrows attained the length of eight or ten inches!) This custom was known as brow-beading. With the passage of centuries, however, their eyebrows shrunk and the custom disappeared, In reviving the practice, we have wrongly assumed that "beading" was a misspelled form of "beating." And that is why we Brow-beat our spouses today.
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A Brief Resume of the Eyebrow Situation An Anatomical Discussion By Dr. Theophrastus Seuss
The Knitting of the Brow
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One of the greatest anatomical fallacies of the day is the supposition that a man can knit his own brow. Many try, but they drop so many stitches that the result is a pitiful failure. It is far better to go to some expert old knitter whose years of practice have made her deft with the needles.
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Three Fine Social Arts We Are Prone to Neglect The Fine Art of Sneezing "The social education of our youth," says Dr. Farquarharson Fohsnip, "is too one-sided. Although wellschooled in manners generally, not one child in a hundred can sneeze with grace. To revive the art of beautiful sneezing, Dr. Fohsnip conducts tutorials, teaching his pupils from phonograph records of the foremost maestros of sneezery.
The Fine Art of Hiccoughing
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A sudden attack of hiccoughs at a tea party has been many a poor fellow's social undoing. But spilling tea down your hostess' guimpe can be avoided if you prepare yourself with the Lehrenkrauss Hiccough Machine. After practicing the hiccough contortions for a month or two, you can handle the teacup without spilling a drop.
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Three Fine Social Arts We Are Prone to Neglect
The Fine Art of Yawning
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"It is always correct to yawn when bored," says Prof. Zeno Chilk of the Chilk School of Yawning. "But to yawn the same way at everyone is decidedly gauche. There are over three thousand different kinds of yawns, each depending on the social station of the yawnee." Prof. Chilk is shown instructing a pupil in the first five.
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Some Common-Sense Safety-First Devices Safeguarding Our Tailors Statistics show that every year over 3,000 tailors are rushed to the hospital suffering acutely from swallowed pins. Consequently the American Tailors' Ass'n has ordered all suit fitters to equip themselves with trained Burmese bissarts. Five pins in the mouth are safe enough; but put in a sixth, and your bissart leans over and snatches it out.
Protecting Our Organists
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Though few realize it, organ playing is extremely dangerous. In stamping around on the pedals the organist's shoes are forever untying, and, tripping on the laces, he often breaks a leg. Wise organists, therefore, now have "Ocelot Releases" among the gadgets on their dashboards. When laces get in a snarl, out pops the ocelot to gnaw them loose.
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Some Common-Sense Safety-First Devices
Lessening the Hazards of Shoot-the-Chutes Inspecting
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A little-appreciated profession is that of Slippery-Slide Inspector on our playgrounds. These men, who protect our kiddies by testing their slides, get little thanks, poor pay and lots of splinters in the seats of their pants. To combat the splinter menace, progressive cities now allow them to be preceded down the slide by Sumatran honey bears. (Sumatra being full of splinters, the bears pick them up and don't mind it a bit.)
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The Perplexing Problem of Household Terminology Three Great Scientists Who are Seeking to Shed Light on these Matters To End Odd Use of “Odds and Ends” “Anyone who says his attic is full of Odds and Ends,” says Dr. Ondutt Carbie, who is an authority on such matters, “is making a fool of himself. In my personal investigation of over 5,000 attics this season, I have found Odds galore and Ends galore… but never the two together!” To keep people from making this stupid blunder, Carbie is preparing a volume that will explain their subtle difference in detail.
How Warm is Luke?
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For centuries people have used the term “luke” so carelessly, that its exact meaning has become confused. Many a man has been chilled or scalded to death in a tub his butler believed “luke warm.” To end this, the Josiah Windlestiff Foundation had two scientists working day and night, seeking to establish a definition of lukedom that will be universal, once and for all.
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The Perplexing Problem of Household Terminology Three Great Scientists Who are Seeking to Shed Light on these Matters
Is Your Breakfast Nook Merely a Cranny?
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What householder is there who is not harassed by the thought that his breakfast nook really might not be a nook at all? “Stop worrying! Find out for yourself!” advises Kolph, the deviser of the reliable “cat test”. “If you can get three hundred cats into it, you have a full-fledged breakfast nook. If not, you only have a breakfast cranny.”
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The Latest Developments in Vocal Education
Reading Music at Sight A sight-reading work-out, now popular in Hungary, is the “Kriemnz Method,” illustrated above. An ape wearing black gloves is allowed to clamber on the bars of a hanging “staff”. Each child follows a glove and sings the notes as fast as indicated. A lively ape can create 34,000,000 new tone combinations in the space of an hour.
Youth Sings Chord!
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A vocal phenomenon, long thought impossible, occurred last week when C. Aschenbach, a Swiss of twelve, sang a fullfledged chord. The rare circumstances that combined to cause this may not repeat themselves again in a million years. It all happened when Aschenbach, a stutterer who lisps and whose voice is changing, was stricken with hiccoughs during his yodeling lesson.
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The Latest Developments in Vocal Education
The Scale Reform Movement
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“For years without realizing it,” claims N. Trayfoot, the reformer, “vocal teachers have been putting indecent words into our children’s mouths in teaching them the scale!” SOL and TI, he has discovered, both mean something simply awful in ancient Persian! In his crusade for revision, Trayfoot suggests substituting the harmless words, “Hedwig” and “Frith”.
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Recent Developments in the Field of Clothing
Sleeve-Button Problem Solved! Last week the city fathers of Thnoddy, Mich., found and inspired answer to the old question, "What good anyway are the buttons they put on our coat sleeves?" "Buttons," they reasoned, "call for button holes." Today you will find button holes in every lamp post in Thnoddy—just the thing to button your playmates to when they prove too difficult to steer home.
The Super Lapel
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Out in Toledo a tailor named Whelk has developed a new wrinkle that will take most of the worry and expense out of love-making, "How," asks Whelk, "can a chap surrender to ecstasy when he sees his fifty-cent gardenia being rumpled and crushed?" Whelk's Super Lapel saves wear and tear on your gardenia by putting it into a neutral zone high above the friction area.
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Recent Developments in the Field of Clothing
Tense Situation at Lindenmayer Foundation
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Students of the History of Clothing are focusing their attention today on the lecture hall of the Lindenmayer Foundation for Sartorial Research. For here two factions are hotly debating the most momentous problem the society has ever tackled. When the final vote is taken, an eager world will know, once and for all, the answer to that mooted question, "Just what did Adam wear . . . suspenders or a belt?"
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Medicine, Highly Developed in the Day of Pnolioch, Still a Growing Science! Some Notes of Interest to All Lovers of the Stethoscope Noteworthy among new medical sensations is Dr. Echo Muff's Whooping Cough Theory, which claims that the germ originates with the adder and is passed on to your neighborhood ostrich. Then comes the obvious stages: Cherries, gnat, the bust in your attic, naval attache, pop-corn popper and your own dear innocent babe. Dr. Muff's idea is to destroy this deadly sequence by tin-plating the bust so the gnat cannot sting it.
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In New York, where chaps are forever falling off high buildings, it has become necessary to have Fall Doctors who specialize according to stories. The doctor above, for example, being an expert in mere forty-two story falls, is not qualified to take the case of the poor fellow who has plunged down forty-three.
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Medicine, Highly Developed in the Day of Pnolioch, Still a Growing Science! Some Notes of Interest to All Lovers of the Stethoscope
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The dullest feature of a doctor's practice is having to listen day in and day out to a lot of stupid children saying, "A-h-h-h-h!" The Committee for the Abolition of Ah-h-h-h is therefore offering a prize of $5,000.00 to the children who can invent the most euphonious substitute. The committee is shown above, giving an audition to a number of contestants.
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Our Lamentable Misuse of Certain Fine Old Terms— Striking Examples of How Phrases Have Strayed From Their Proper Meanings By Dr. Theophrastus Seuss
The Deplorable Misuse of "Frazzle" Even Gene Tunney, with all his precision of speech, once made this blunder. In describing his fight with Dempsey, Gene recently told me, "I wore that guy to a frazzle!" How he opened his eyes when I informed him that a "frazzle" is an informal evening's entertainment peculiar to Kansas—a combination smoker, drinker and chewer that usually ends in a crap game! In the picture above a man is shown wearing another man to a frazzle. (Correctly speaking, Tunney wore Dempsey to no such thing.
Our Ignorant Misuse of "Befuddled" If anything makes me writhe with indignation, it is to hear the remark, "I'm so befuddled!" At one time my own grandfather was famous as the world's champion heavyweight "fuddler." To misuse this term is to insult his memory.
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"Fuddling" was to the gay nineties what "beaver" is to us today. The purpose of the game was to pop suddenly out of the bushes and slap a fop smartly across the nose with your "fuddle" (a durable kind of baloney). The fop whose nose was slapped was considered "befuddled." Anyone claiming "befuddlement" today is talking through his hat.
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Our Lamentable Misuse of Certain Fine Old Terms— Striking Examples of How Phrases Have Strayed From Their Proper Meanings By Dr. Theophrastus Seuss
Our Ridiculous Misuse of "Agog"
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How well I remember the day Lindbergh landed in Paris. A day of glory for America, to be sure . . . but, at the same time, a day of lowly shame! For thousands upon thousands of our citizens stupidly gurgled, "I'm all agog!" How pitifully stupid! There's not a Gog in America. Little did they know that a Gog is a sentimental Swiss who collects mountain-goat tears in a brown paper bag. Unless you are one of these, you should never use the term.
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Men, women and children—the people of Westchester look to us for their mirror, the reflection of their daily lives. With only 9.2% of the adult employed residents of this county commuting out of it, this extraordinary suburban area is a complete entity in itself, a market of enthusiastic “stay-at homes”. What do they do, then, those “stay-at-homes”? Pleasant normal things revolving around schools, sports, civics, gardens and churches. Things that make news about themselves in our papers for themselves to read. For instance in an average work our nine dailies printed 4,845 items and pictures of local news, and from careful surveys a fair estimate shows that for each item at least fifty people were intimately interested, familiar with the names and affairs mentioned. And there you have a vital attention for advertisers in these “looking glass” newspapers of Westchester.
MACY • WESTCHESTER DAILIES: Yonkers Herald Statesman • Mt. Vernon Daily Argus • Terrytown Daily News • Mamaronack Daily Times • Ossining Citizen-Register • Port Chester Daily Item • New Rochelle Standard Star • AFFILIATED WITH: White Plains Reporter • WEEKLIES: Mt. Kisco Times • Larchmont Times • PleasantPeekskill Star ville Journal • Harrison Citizen-Observer • Chappaqua New Castle Tribune
•
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K E L LY- S M I T H C O M PA N Y — N AT I O N A L R E P R E S E N TAT I V E S
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W E D N E S D A Y,
MAY 7,
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F R I D A Y,
MAY 9,
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How’re we doing?
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1941
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S U N D A Y,
MAY 11,
1941
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Gad, if we could only harness that jaw-power!
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F R I D A Y,
MAY 16,
1941
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Hey! It’s your NOSE you’re supposed to keep to the grindstone!
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S U N D A Y,
MAY 25,
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The Cloud Climbers
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M O N D A Y,
MAY 26,
1941
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She embarrasses Ma and Pa a bit, but Fraulein sure can push!
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W E D N E S D A Y,
MAY 28,
1941
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BOY! Is His Face Red Today!
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T U E S D A Y,
JUNE 3,
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‘Gad! What a pair of lungs for a sparrow!’
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W E D N E S D A Y,
JUNE 4,
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Speaking of Blockaders . . .
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T H U R S D A Y,
JUNE 19,
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“Why do I deliver this stuff by fish-back when I own so many good boats?”
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S U N D A Y, JUNE 22, 1941
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F R I D A Y,
JULY 4,
1941
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Keep your eye on the bum that’s tagging along behind!
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M O N D A Y, JULY 7, 1941
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“It’s just Hamilton Fish, Sir, talking back to Knox!”
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F R I D A Y,
JULY 11,
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“So you don’t like my new Eskimo suit, SO WHAT!”
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M O N D A Y,
JULY 14,
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“Mighty pretty sunset . . . unless, of course, Roosevelt thinks so, in which case the thing simply stinks!”
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S U N D A Y,
JULY 27,
1941
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“Such nice boats we buy our leetle boy Benito . . . and so mean the big boys treat him over at the pond!”
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M O N D A Y,
JULY 28,
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W E D N E S D A Y,
JULY 30,
Subversive Activity
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“Schultz, you will be dropped from an air plane into the jungle of Brazil. Using charm and ingenuity, you will immediately woo and marry some young Brazilian palm tree. With advance ground-work such as this, my invasion of South America is practically in the bag.�
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T H U R S D A Y,
JULY 31,
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All Set to Answer the Bell
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William Tell shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.
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Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother’s birth mark.
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The Zodiac is the Zoo of the Sky where lions, goats, virgins and other animals go after they are dead.
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In a sale of public auction, the title passes as soon as the auctioneer knocks the buyer down.
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A chiropodist is a man who trains birds to sing.
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Sirens were in the middle of the ocean. Nobody could come near them they made so much noise.
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The Dauphin was a rare fish that used to inhabit the Arctic Circle in the middle ages.
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The oracle told Laius that if he had a son, it would kill him.
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Polonius was a mythical sausage.
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Benjamin Franklin went to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm.
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A brazier is the kind of garment the Italians wore instead of having their houses heated by furnaces.
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Caesar was murdered by a band of Contractors.
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Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
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The most interesting feature of the zoo was the largest ape in capacity.
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Herrings go about the sea in shawls.
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“The Lark that soars on dewy wing� means that the lark was going so high and flapping his wings so hard that he broke into perspiration.
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A certain man drew his bow at a venture, but missed the venture and hit Ahab.
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Achilles was the boy whose mother dipped him in the River Stinx until he was intolerable.
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Henry VIII had an abbess on his knee, which made walking difficult.
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Louis XVI was gelatined during the French Revolution.
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THE WHERE-TO-FISH PROBLEM NE thing that can spoil a fishing trip more than anything else is the absence of fish. This year the clever sportsman, instead of angling just anywhere and waiting for the fish to seek him, will be able to seek out the fish. This is done by rowing around with a hungry cat trailing on the bottom in glass diving togs. When the cat meows, that is the place to drop anchor.
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O
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WHO-WILL-FEED-THE-CANARY PROBLEM LL canary owners know the difficulty of leaving home for a weekend. Leave the canary without food, and he starves; leave him three days’ supply, and he stuffs himself to death the first day. A new device, however, solves this problem neatly. The three meals are left in three dishes, fifteen feet apart, and the canary is hitched to a flat iron. By working like blazes, the canary will get his lunch precisely at noon each day.
A
THE CROQUET-WICKET PROBLEM F all the vacationists who spend their summer in the country, over half, statistics show, come home in wheel chairs. Although poison ivy and snake bites cause a few casualties, the majority are victims of Wicket-in-theDark. Croquet-wicket tripping, however, can now be avoided. Thanks to the Horned Pomeranian, the afterdark stroller can now roam his lawn without danger.
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O
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THE EYELASH AS A THING TO BAT s a man of exactness,” writes F. Waugh, “I have always been suspicious of that old gag, Quicker than you can bat an eyelash. I recently gave every player on the Cubs three swats at my own—and not one could even hit the things, let alone quickly! If the Yankees fail also, I think this expression ought to be junked.”
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“A
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THE MUSTACHE AS A LIVELIHOOD believe,” claims Bonnet Schneeloch, “that I am the only man ever to possess a professional mustache. I spent four years in a cave grooming a money-making mustache. Today I rent it out at kiddies’ parties. The old game of Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey is tame stuff compared to Stick-the-Cigarin-Schneeloch’s-Mouth.”
“I
THE BEARD AS A PROTEST really hate a beard like poison,” declares J. Sleeve, “but I hate the Shoe-String Trust like two poisons. I just can’t see ten cents for a pair of laces. Howling against this injustice got me nowhere, so I now fight it with Passive Resistance. The Trust is pretty darn’ worried—my beard-tied boots having won me fame as the Shoe-String Gandhi.”
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“I
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HOW WARS ARE BREWED N Geneva,” says a League official, “every day subtle tricks are played on us peace lovers to make us mad and warlike. The worst plots are staged by the wily Associated Barbed-Wire Entanglement Manufacturers, who stop at nothing to hatch a war. Only recently, these villains broke into our peaceful social rooms and planted cobras in the thumb holes of each and every bowling ball.”
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THE ITALO-SIAMESE DISCORD HINGS here look bad,” writes our correspondent from the Locarno conference. “Horseheight is measured in hands, but hands come in different sizes. Today the conference is deadlocked—the Siamese holding out for Prajadhipok’s hand—the Italians for Primo Carnera’s.”
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LEAGUE COMMITTEE STUMPED HOSE little ruffles people put on lamb chops,” says Chairman Froet, “cause more bad will than bullets. The left wing of the Ruffle Committee insists that the chop eater may take off the ruffle to play with; the right declares this is indecent.”
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LOOIE SCHNITTKIND (Asst. Bird Chaser-Off, Dept. of Eaves and Cornices, Chrysler building, New York) E boids in de underbrush, of course, youse mugs.”
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FONG YET NING (Retired Pinwheel and Ladycracker Manufacturer, Soochow, China) LTHOUGH I have my very definite personal opinion, I do not wish to comment. This controversy is entirely the White Man’s Birdin.”
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ROBBIE (“BIDDLES”) EFTERMENGER (Runner-Up, Olympic Crooning Derby) DON’T think it’s a fair question at all. I love all little birdies, regardless.”
“I WARBURTON CHESWICK-CHESWICK (Master of Albatrosses, London Bird and Bike Club) O my way of thinking, the bird-in-hand wheeze is a downright misstatement in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.”
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FOR UNCLES p to now, although the Olympics have had contests for wrestlers, swan divers, pole vaulters, and mountain climbers, nothing has ever been done about that athlete known as the uncle. It is an established fact that every uncle enjoys playing Ups-a-Daisy with his nephews, so this summer they will all be given a chance to compete in an Ups-a-Daisy Marathon. The chap who ups the greatest number of daisies will win the title of Uncle World.
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FOR MEN WHO DETEST TRAINING he greatest drawback of past Olympics is that competition has been restricted to men who like training. Nontrainers have felt so badly about this that now the committee has announced a sport designed especially for them: the Human Sling Shot. Anyone showing up is eligible, even if he has played poker the whole night before. All the hard work of pulling back and letting go is done by a professional pull-backer and let-goer, a Mr. Butch Harrigan. Any chap lucky enough to go between the cactus branches has a perfectly swell chance of winning the laurels.
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FOR GIRLS WHO CAN’T SKI-JUMP his year, besides the usual athletic events for women, the Olympics will inaugurate a competition for less rugged ladies: the Society Matrons. The one thing, the committee decided, that these ladies do best is to sit around holding lap dogs. The girl, therefore, who can seat the greatest number of lap dogs will be crowned World’s Champion Society Matron. (In case of a tie, there will be a play-off, using mad dogs instead of the conventional Pekes and Pomeranians.)
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FOR THOSE WITH NIMBLE DIGITS t last, after years of delay, the most popular sport of all time—Thumb Twiddling—has been recognized as an Olympic contest! The rules for the game are liberal: one may twiddle either forward or backward, so long as he twiddles 75 revolutions per minute. Thus far the majority of the enrolled competitors are Wall Street brokers, who have been kept in excellent practice ever since the crash of ‘29.
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Geisel’s irrepressible inner child served him well throughout his career. Years before he wrote his first children’s book, Theodor Seuss Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss) had already made a name for himself in the world of cartooning, advertising, and commercial art. Although these works aren’t so well known now, they were extremely popular in their day and certainly held their own in the fracas of 20th century pop culture. Geisel applied his fertile imagination to every venture he was involved in, and his collected works invariably paint a portrait of the artist’s changing viewpoint and ideals. Geisel’s cartoons have stood the test of time not only because of their distinctly stylistic nature, but also because he understood (and never ceased to poke fun at) human foibles. The subject matter within this book varies wildly, from undeniably Seussian creatures used to promote Esso motor oil to scathing political cartoons dealing with American policy during World War II. His political cartoons capture the volatility of the 1930’s and 40’s, with Geisel unapologetically weaving his opinion into every panel he drew. Although some of his cartoons from this era do not conform to today’s standards of political correctness, they have been included in this book to preserve intellectual honesty. Long out of print, Checker is pleased to bring the work of this classic illustrator back to light. NOTE: The reader may encounter in this volume a number of images which do not meet modern Western standards for racial and ethnic sensitivity. In the interests of completeness and intellectual honesty regarding Geisel’s career, such images are included unedited.
THEODOR SEUSS GEISEL: EARLY WORKS OF DR. SEUSS VOL. 1 $22.95 US / $31.95 CAN ISBN# 1-933160-01-2
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